Transcript
Yesterday it was raining.
It was raining. I wanted to drive my cars. I couldn't drive my cars because obviously it was raining. It pissed me off. So I decided to design my dream Lamborghini. You people at home don't understand my struggles. You don't understand my life.
But for a long time, I've been sitting there thinking, do I really need to upgrade my Huracan, my Lamborghini Huracan,
to the Lamborghini Huracan Evo, even though they look basically the same, and every shit muncher out here won't be able to tell the difference. I'll be able to tell the difference because I'm a Lamborghini guy.
But these shit munchers, they won't tell the difference. To them, a Lambo's a Lambo.
I mean, okay, the Lamborghini Evo has rear wheel steering, seven times as much downforce, 30 more horsepower, blah, blah, blah. But do I spend all this extra money for a tiny bit of performance, which I'm only going to notice at the absolute upper echelon of...
Driving,
And most people won't notice, but it was raining. So I decided to go on the Lamborghini configurator and configure an Evo.
So I'm looking on the options list is two grand for a cup holder. Two grand for a cup holder.
But if that's how much a cup holder costs, that's how much a cup holder costs. I want a cup holder.
So it's two Gs, it's two Gs.
I'm going through the options list. I need the lifting system to go over the speed bumps and
I need the rear view camera, because you can't see shit out the back of a Lamborghini.
So there's all these things you kind of basically have to buy.
And then there's other shit like extra chromatic
What was it? Exochromatic mirrors.
Exochromatic mirrors. I don't even know what the fuck that is. So I took it off.
Let me get it exactly for you, because maybe one of you at home knows what it is.
It is called...
electrochromatic exterior mirrors. So I took that shit off because that is
1,928 pounds.
So I unticked it. And then I felt like a bitch. I'm like, what kind of man buys a Lamborghini and won't tick every option?
Well, my poor, my peasant,
Am I broke?
So I had to buy one with every option. So I had to tick yes on everything. And put an extra hundred grand on top of the price just to have every single option because I'm a fucking G.
I'm a G like that.
I did that in real time. You can watch the video here. You can see me. We recorded me doing it in real time.
Did you seriously just tick all the boxes?
Why would I go on the configurator and look at the things? Hmm, no my Lamborghini doesn't need this.
Do I look broke?
I need it all! Every single box has been ticked on my lambda. Why all of them? Or chromatic exterior supermirror. What does that mean?
Doesn't matter what it is.
It's there. It's an option. Why am I going to drive a car that doesn't have every fucking option like a peasant?
I'll do it on a Ferrari right now. Step to me right now. I'll go on the Ferrari configurator right now. Check every fucking box on A12 Superfast and I'll order that too in your fucking face. No, no, stop. You need to start. I'll order a Ferrari right now, A12, every fucking option. You need to start doing this.
Fuck with me, you think it makes a difference? It makes a difference to me! Keep talking to me! We have so many! It makes a difference!
Yeah, I'll buy another house. Listen, you can go move the driveway. I'll buy another house.
I don't care. I'll buy the neighbor's house. I'll knock on the neighbor's door and say, how much for your house? I don't want to sell. I'll pay you double. So I put all my cars in a fucking row. I'm a G.
One more fucking word, I'm buying a Nick 12. One more complaint about my fucking miraculous "Take Every Box" system, I'm buying a fucking word.
Fuck me. I'll do it.
What else are we going to do? What time? It's Thursday. It's 4 o'clock. It's raining. I'm on board.
So I went on the Configurator and thought, let me configure my dream, because I already have the Huracan. I thought the Huracan Evo has rear-wheel steering and some more horsepower. Let me configure my dream Huracan.
Oh, it's only 300,000 euro, chunk change.
It's not Trump change. It's Trump change. Print my order form. It's printing out.
It's like 300 G's. It's 300 G's. Like, what kind of man are you who even got 300 G's? She's like...
I configured it and it had a little graphic and it can move around. How can I not buy it?
What choice do I have? I won't be fucking human, Luke.
What's the difference between my current Huracan and Evo? Fuck knows. Who cares? Why have two? Because I'm a fucking G. How many times have I said this?
I tell everyone I'm a G and they're like, "Oh, why do you not?" I'm a G! You think I'm lying?
I'm a G, that's why.
Two of the same car? Two of the same? No, it's not the same car. That's the Huracan. That's the Huracan Evo. They're already dice on these guys.
See you next morning.
It's nice, huh?
He didn't dice. Have you seen any playing cards? Look, if any playing cards are diced, I haven't seen any playing cards. No, why didn't you tell him why? Do you see any playing cards?
No. Because this ain't no game! This ain't no fucking game!
Lamborghini Huracan Spyder 5.2 V10 640 liter
LP644 EVO!
Previous owners, zero.
Vehicle price, rah-dee-rah-dee-rah.
Chassis number blah blah blah. Nero Noctis
black
Electric heat and seats, smartphone interface for connected devices,
electrochromatic exterior mirrors 900 pounds I don't have any idea what electrochromatic exterior mirrors are I just take the fucking box 900 pounds for my fucking
electrochromatic you're gonna with a man who was electrochromatic in yours i'm gonna see everything
Rear diffuser, style package, digital audio broadcast tuner, 9VK sensorium premium sound system, 4Gs.
ambient light program.
Colored stitching, NR7 and Boyd a brand new package, rear view camera, lifting system. Lifting system is $4,000. You have to have a lifting system because you can't go over speed bumps any other way. It's like a $4,000 tax you have to pay for your Lambo.
Now I've tracked Pro ADR.
Don't know what that is, a tracker maybe?
52A 20-inch alloy wheels, graphite gray.
Delivery, 3,600 to deliver.
Oh wait, we're not done.
upholstery.
Elegant leather, bi-color, Nero, Ada, Bianco, Polar, whatever. Big Forge Composites package. 6Gs. What the fuck is that? What is that?
I'm playing with the configurer, I'm just ticking boxes.
Big Forge compasses package. I don't even know what that is.
Six grand!
Formats, customized with piping and stitching, nice.
kick plate and forge composites.
How much?
I just tick every option. Who goes on the Lambo configurator and ticks every box?
All of it, where do I sign?
Feared.
Purchaser's signature.
Boom! Boom!
Boom. Whoa, all these other dorks on Twitter. Look, I bought a Tesla Model 2. I put a $400. Well, you're fucking geeks. Who the fuck drives a Tesla? There's no man alive in a Tesla I couldn't kick the living fuck out of. I'll drag you from your Tesla by your neck.
in front of your bitch and you won't do nothing. And I'll get back in my Lamborghini fucking fully-spec Evo.
step to me.
Do you see any playing cards, Roy? There's no playing cards anyway. Do you know why?
Is it because it's not a fucking game? Because it's not a fucking game!
So then I'm sitting there and then I'm checking my emails, being a G, and I got these offers from Vice News and a few other people. We want to come out and film your life, Tate.
And I'm trying to explain that there's already been movies made about my life.
There's already been movies made about my life, and I say this completely unironically without humor. I genuinely mean this. Watch this.
Casino Royale or watch one of the Daniel Craig James Bond movies.
That is actually my life.
When I watch these movies, I'm like, yeah,
That's me.
He doesn't fuck a bitch 'cause he wants to fuck a bitch. He fucks a bitch to get information. He's pimping these hoes. He's driving Aston Martins. He walks in the room, everybody's intimidated. He can fight. He's got unlimited cash. He does what he wants. He goes where he wants.
That is me. How is that not my life? I've been living this life for so long and there's still people out there going, no, it's not. Yeah, it actually is.
I just got back to Romania now. I was...
traveling all of Europe in a supercar. I was in London. I went from London.
to Paris, went to Disneyland, went down to south of France,
Grenoble, I think I stopped in the Alps for a little bit. Then I went down to Monte Carlo. From Monte Carlo, I went to the Italian Alps.
Then I went to Milan. From Milan, I went up to Munich. The police took my car for driving at 300 kilometers an hour, crushed my Ferrari. No problem. Got a train to Prague, get out of Western Europe, get into Eastern Europe.
I had a truck pick up cars from here. Three cars are waiting for me in Prague. Got in those cars, went to Vienna.
And then from Vienna, I went to Budapest, Budapest, back to Bucharest.
Just took a month out driving across the continent like a G. During COVID, during lockdown, no travel restrictions, travel restrictions, fuck you. And to start the whole thing, I got from here to London to start the whole drive on a private plane.
because I'm a gangster like that.
I'm a G.
How is my life not a James Bond movie?
My life is absolutely a James Bond movie.
Thank you.
Fucked a new bitch in Milan, fucked a new bitch in Vienna. And I'm not talking about like, you know, hooker club bullshit like you dorks or meet her on Tinder. No, I just walked into Cavalli Club Milan, walked into Cavalli Club.
took the best table
went up to her, "Hello, hi, boom, boom, boom."
Anyway, we've diverted because the point of this tape speech isn't to tell you
that my life is basically a James Bond movie, even though it is a James Bond movie. And I don't want you to think I'm exaggerating because that is genuinely, actually my life.
And the point of this video was not to tell you that I bought a Lamborghini with every single option because I was bored because it was raining.
When I say my life is a James Bond movie, there's actually one key component that makes my life more James Bond than everything else. Lots of people have cars, lots of people can, you know, go around, travel, go to clubs, all these kind of things. But there's something very, very important that you'll notice James Bond does.
And what James Bond does is he manipulates his relationship with women for his own personal gain.
And this is extremely important. This is a bee trying to stab me during my...
Take speech.
Pussy ass B.
This is extremely important because in the world we live in now, women,
exploit men.
This is what women do. Women get in a relationship with a man and they may love him, but they still exploit it for their personal gain. James Bond is the last character that you can find on any kind of popular...
any kind of movie anywhere in Hollywood, anywhere.
that uses women, oh he pretends he loves them and he finds out what he needs to do.
So James Bond has reversed the game.
And once they kill that from James Bond, which is happening very soon along with the wokeness of Hollywood, there'll be one man left.
who does exactly that.
And that's me.