Transcript
Who's in charge of the world? They should be arrested for treason. NIGGAR! You just have to fucking shut up. Your honor, it's a joke. See you in court.
Get the cake up, girl them love when the chains swing Black truck with the rain team, top floor where the plane land Big man, never change from Batman, pull up! V1, never been a fake one, big stacks, yeah, he's drunk Whole team get the cake up, girl them love when the chains swing Black truck with the rain team, top floor where the...
Elon! Elon! You need to hire me for Tesla.
You did a good job, but I made it look better. Let's cut the crap. Look, it looks great.
Elon just upped my Twitter payouts.
You know, you don't have to put me on the Tesla board. I know it'd be difficult with all the shareholders, all that crap.
Remember when you were giving Hulk Girls those huge Twitter payouts? I remember.
G
Just give me like 11 or 12 billion a month.
And I'll design car speed.
Look at this.
The Cybertruck looks a million times better, and I chose the best color.
purple.
Because I don't have any purple cars.
*laughs*
You're right. One of my Kernan Zegyeskos is in purple. Not my Kernan Zegyesko. One of my Kernan Zegyeskos.
is in purple, you're right. And one of my Paganis. Not my Paganis, one of my Paganis. But I got a purple shirt on and purple shoes.
and a purple car.
Nice.
at a purple Patek.
That's
And purple is the color of royalty.
So I think that's conclusive evidence.
I'm the king of designing Teslas.
and Elon
needs to up my Twitter payouts to a gazillion fucking dollars.
a gazillion!
so that I can continue to make the Cybertruck look better than ever.
I'm going to drive this around Dubai.
free marketing,
for the Cybertruck, free marketing for Tesla,
free.
and all I want in return for the free marketing
is a gazillion dollars.
It doesn't get better than that.
My whole life's gorgeous. Everything's gorgeous. I'm gorgeous.
Anyway, what I think we need to do...
is take this out at night.
and put the underglow on.
and then drive around at night like a cyberpunk Knight Rider with the underglow and the lights on the back.
like a spaceship, you know, like Tesla X.
Tate X.
alien spaceship
x Twitter payout, x free advertising so you owe Andrew money.
X.
You know?
That's what we have to do. And I think the color we'll put underneath it is purple.
- Mm.
Stay in with the theme.
Elon!
I'm a fan.
But you owe me a gazillion fucking dollars.
*Bang* What about a suit? It's between this or a tuxedo. What the fuck, can you wear a suit on a seven hour road trip across Romania? At 5am. I'm about to drive an Aston Martin through Eastern Europe to go to another city to drink all the martinis and seduce beautiful women. It was this or a tuxedo, what the fuck else am I supposed to wear? Pajamas? Someone in this group has to have some fucking class. And style.
What else should I wear? Fine, wear your suit. Look, the real thing that's interesting... I didn't ask for permission. Is that I take the current and the guest code 400 kilometers across the country and it's guaranteed 100 % definitely not going to break down.
What are you going to do if it does break down? It won't. But it will. It's the guest code. It's never going to break down. Why would it break down? We're going to be 100 % fine. Definitely not going to end up stranded.
- Yeah. - Rob. - Bob's car doesn't break down. - Road trip, running back, 2026. - When Nigel already crashed, look. - He actually did. What did you do, Nigel? - I so didn't do that. - This is the problem. So when you drive an Audi and you go to a Lamborghini, obviously you cannot handle the car. So Nigel proved us he's not worthy for a Lamborghini. - What's he doing here?
What is this guy doing here?
Mr. Plenty.
I know you think the S0 is going to break down, but it's never broken down before. Andrew, you and I both know that's not true. It's never broken down. It's the most reliable car we got. Yeah, whatever. There's a hundred percent chance this thing's breaking down.
- No way. - 100% chance. - No way. No way. - Yeah, whatever. - We're gonna make it. - No, we're not. We're not gonna make it. - We're not. No way. No way of breaking. - I'm guessing four hours. - You think four hours? Once the sun comes up and it gets hot 100 degrees outside,
or hitting it hard in the mountains.
ragging it ragging it ragging it's just gonna overheat and stop working bro this is a six million dollar car bro
You think it's going to be some fucking piece of junk that just breaks down? Yeah, it's on Toyota.
Keep up the program.
It's four hours too generous.
She's gonna make it.
Okay, minimum three hours.
Minimum of three? Yeah, yeah, three.
Let's see if we can
Yeah, I'm gonna say free.
Because it's been driven.
So it's been kind of worked in a semi kind of way.
so I'm going to give it 3 hours at least
I give it 'til the end of the street.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's been driven. It's been driven hard. So it's kind of running. So all of the TV troubles should have happened already.
We don't know. But, and do you know what? I'm going to give the full confidence and say it's going to last before we do it.
After dark. She is holding up surprisingly well. Of course. She's going to make it.
150 kilometers in. Still starts, I think. I'm about to start it. Made it through a whole tank of gas without breaking down. First time ever.
Personally, I only gave it like an hour and a half. Ah, ye of little faith. Good old Yesco. You know what? I think the reason it broke down so much is because it was sitting in some dork's collection.
had it in a fucking warehouse. Hadn't been driving, you know? So I drove it a bit, something broke, we fixed it. Drove it again, something broke, we fixed it. Now we're gonna kick the fuck out of it, get the engine moving, get the fucking oil moving through. You know how it works, you know? Too many nerds are buying these cars and putting them in warehouses. What we have to do is kick the fuck out of her and she'll work. Very much like
Andrew, don't say your girlfriend. Don't say your girlfriend. Very much like your girlfriend. You know, sometimes you just have to fucking shut up. She's bulletproof. Fucking run it. Senator, who's in charge of the world? You know, that's a question that a lot of people have. And I have to say, I believe that
we as the population
deserve a ruling class that's willing to fight for us. Because I mean, you see Donald Trump, you know, he's put his name on the line. He's lost billions for us. He's done a lot of things. But you look at the ruling class all around the world. I mean, think about it.
when you go back to middle ages
the most wealthy and powerful families, their children trained from birth for combat to defend the general welfare of people. And now you look at the world today, the most powerful people literally send poor people to go and die in wars that have nothing to do with their own national interest. Only so that they can then make profits. And so the people that are in charge are the people that are making the money off of the wars and off of the corruption.
your head, your rent's due in nine days, you already know you're not gonna make it. The rules of money and power are being rewritten right now. AI is taking jobs faster than the news will ever admit. Countries are repositioning. The men who adapt in the next 12 months will be the kings of the next 20 years. This is phase three. It has already started. It's not a recession. It's bigger and worse. And the men who see it first take everything. Thousands of men are already reading
You can be one of them. The world is asleep, but you don't have to be. You won't hear about phase 3 anywhere. They want you in the dark. Because the moment you see it, their plan falls apart. There is one place where the truth is being written down. The Cobra Tate Substack. The harsh, brutal truth of the modern world. Truth lets you see the punch before they throw it. You see where they want you to go. You see the trap before you step into it. Join the Cobra Tate Substack now.
Do you know about Steve? Never met him. Steve, he gives you the green and the red. Steve, the sign guy, he stands out there all day for a hundred lay, which is about $20. He gives you the green and the red. His name is Steve. Lovely wife. Her name is Reluca. And Reluca is known for being Steve, the sign man's wife. She drinks Palenco on the weekends. And cooks beach, Eves Beach, out here at the Galugians. Haven't heard of Steve? Nah, bro.
Well, Steve's about to be internationally famous, because they confidential folks in the best show in the world. Yeah, Steve's the sign guy. How the fuck do you think we're gonna know when to go or not? So, obviously Steve's the fucking sign guy. Duh. He's got an important job to do. He's got the most important job. Exactly. And that's why he needs his beach. To stay powered up, luckily. Reluca's there to get it done, so... Basically, the world's in order. You know, I know things seem chaotic with Iran and China and America and hegemony.
and inflation and all these crazy things. Don't worry about it. I know you feel like the world's a bit out of control now, and everything's falling apart. You know, there's pedophiles on Epstein's Island, and the politics are corrupt. We've got Steve there. He's got his sign, he knows what to do. He's there every morning, a, a, a, a, a, a.m. You know? It's fine. - With Steve, the world's gonna be all right. - It's all out of control. - Halfway. - Dude. - Halfway. - We're actually more than halfway.
about it is, let me tell you a secret. No one else knows this. When I started her this morning, she had an engine light. And she still has an engine light. But it hasn't broken down yet. This thing's bulletproof. Bro, it's back now. It's back. I knew it. I knew we'd make it. Of course, Alex is pissing. He's going to hold up traffic now. Look. Look at this. Look at the typical Romanian. Look at this Romanian bullshit. This whole Ferrari
Screw him. This thing's nuts. NIGGOR! Yeah, she just needed to move, bro. Her last owner. It's Steve's brother. Steve! Steve's the man. Her last owner had her in fucking some collection, some storage. I take my car. He's probably Italian. And I put it in the storage. I am a billionaire. You're a fucking faggot. Guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna race her around Romania and bust her up on potholes.
Bitches love to be roughed up sometimes. Your Honor, I'm joking. I know they're gonna play this back in court. Your Honor, the following script is a joke. Sometimes a bitch just needs to be roughed up. You know, if you leave her there, just sitting there doing nothing, you have a hot girlfriend who say, "Go sit in my mansion," and you don't talk to her, you don't fucking rough her up, you don't make her life exciting, she's gonna leave. But if you're like, you know, bitch, you know? Your Honor, it's a joke. Sometimes it just makes them work better.
I decided to kick the fuck out of her even though she had a warning light. And now she's working perfectly. All those times while trying to be gentle with her, it didn't work. That's how it works with bad bitches. And a yes-go is a bad bitch. Your Honor, I'm joking. So you know, it is what it is. We're going to make it all the way there, all the way fucking back. I believe in her. I believe. I believe now. Believe to achieve. Steve's here. It's a great day. Is that who I think it is? I wonder how he teleports from place to place.
Dude, how does he keep getting here? Turns out, Steve is a time traveler. The truth of it all is that you think he's just a humble man with a sign who helps the Romanian traffic. And then you may think, oh, maybe there's lots of these humble men with yellow jackets. But no, it's one guy who can travel through time and space faster than a Kernhzeg Jesko from location to location. Time and space are nothing compared to the almighty power of Steve.
He might be more powerful than Superman. I think he is. And instead of like going around beating people up, the good guys or the bad guys, he's so nice. He just wants to be friendly and help with the traffic, which is actually really convenient. Now, if you think about it, he's really only helping me with the traffic. Because once I've moved on and he teleports, it's a mess. You know, behind there's crashes, people die, head on collisions, you know, mangled bodies in the street.
blood everywhere but that doesn't bother Steve as long as I get through the traffic you know that's all Steve cares about Steve is the man he's a really nice guy he really likes me.
*Music*
Told ya! Told ya she just needed a little bit less TLC and a little bit more, uh, what's the opposite of TLC? Tate loving care. The other kind of TLC. Look at Cluj, isn't it beautiful?
Beautiful town, car made it, knew it would, was never in doubt, everything's fine, here to buy a historic hotel. You knew that, right?
I didn't. And now you're about to fucking find out. Is that the whole reason we're here? Of course, hey.
Sure.
Alex, nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- Good to meet you bro. - Nice car, welcome to Kroos. - Thank you. Thank you. Your mate?
My mate. I believe this was originally the New York Hotel in World War I. An American built one of the first tourist hotels here in Cluj-Sapoca. And I think that since it's closed down and it needs to be renovated, there needs to be some more American millionaires to come along and buy this hotel right here in the middle of Cluj. Because we know the Romanian government loves us. You know? Is this why you took me here? To buy a hotel? Of course.
The Romanian government loves us. So I think right here in the middle of their second biggest city, we should buy for $30 million, the old hotel from World War I, and we should name it.
Tate Hotel, right here in the middle of Cluj.
You thought this would annoy me, I'm actually in. I think this is okay. It's a great idea. What we'll do is we convert the top floor into luxury living space. We can live there. We'll get our penthouse on the top and then we'll open the whole hotel and allow tourists. And it'll be called the Tate Hotel and the Romanian government are going to have to accept that the Tate Hotel is the most popular hotel in their entire fucking country. I'm down. In? I'm down. That's why we're here. We're here to buy a hotel.
*music*
It's gonna do a lot of work.
The cone set actually made it. I was wrong. I thought it would make it four hours tops. Brandon and I talked about this earlier on the panel. - Yeah, bro. - You, two hours late to dinner.
Don't even know what we've been talking about in the film. Meaning that you are completely unnecessary.
- Okay, maybe. - To this entire group. - Maybe, maybe. - Yeah, completely. We've already discussed this. We've discussed how the Kernan's egg made it, how I knew it was gonna make it, how I always had faith.
How it's definitely not going to break. How it's going to make it all the way home. We discussed all of this while you were.
I've never lost a game. You can play it cool, you can play it smart, but I read the room like I read your heart. I've never lost a game. No, I've never lost a game. Uno on the table and I still walk away the same. I've never lost a game. I've never lost a game.
All the way there and all the way back. I don't believe it. I believe it. Why'd you have no faith?
It's broken down plenty of times before. Just through the city. Jessica's a real nigger. Let's take the Brabus. I have to go to D -Corp for human trafficking. Let's go. Off to work. Nice.
- You're probably a bad person doing this shit. - Do you want ice cream? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop walking so fast. - Why are you rushing? - Who's your mate? - Daily Bear Wrestling.