Transcript
I actually like Thailand as a country. I'm not shitting on Thailand. I don't mind that as a place. The only problem with Thailand is the people who go there.
My problem with Thailand is it's full of fucking foreign losers. Thailand is such a unique place, whereas people think they go there and they change somehow.
Like if I go to Spain, I don't come back and pretend I'm a new person.
But when people go to Thailand, they come back, oh, I learned so much about myself. And it was like, I went to the Buddha, and I got burlesced.
The Buddha doesn't give a fuck about you.
Buddha doesn't give a fuck about you. Buddha doesn't care. The priest, how many stupid bimbo, backpacking, broke-ass nomad losers have walked up to the priest and said, bless me, and him just go,
A thousand a day? You think he'd even remember your face? You think if you got cancer, he'd give a solitary shit? He doesn't care about you. He ain't blessed you with nothing.
He just wanted a fucking donation. He wants something in the tip jar. You probably didn't even leave a tip because you're a tight ass.
These people don't care about you. You're a fucking payday to them. And they're going to sit there and pretend you learned something. You didn't learn a motherfucking thing. You are the same geek...
when you come back from Thailand that you were when you fucking landed. You didn't learn anything. And I can't stand people who go there for a variety of reasons. One is the whole spiritual bullshit. Two is the fact that every dude can't resist banging fucking ugly ass chicks.
Because they're not hot. They really aren't. And a caveat to that is that Thailand, especially Bangkok, isn't poor. Bangkok is a very rich city full of millionaires. If you're like a 9 or a 10, if you're a Thai girl and you're legitimately hot and you decide you want to be a prostitute, you're going to be fucking millionaire Thai guys. You're not fucking some Western dude for 20 bucks.
You're not doing that.
So that's how I know you only bank fours and fives, because they're the only ones who are going to fuck some Western dude for your fucking budget.
Next thing I can't say about Thailand is how tight and stingy everyone is.
Everyone's so fucking broke there. Everyone goes Thailand backpacking and thinks that the number one goal is to, it's not the quality of travel, it's the quantity of travel. Make it last as long as humanly possible. Delay, delay, delay. Be a little fucking tight ass and save every penny and just long it out.
I was, this is a God's honest, true story. Koh Samui, Thailand. It was about 100 degrees outside.
30 degrees, let's say, Celsius.
There's a woman with a fucking stick and two baskets full of water walking along the beach. A 60-year-old woman walking on the beach with water.
And I was standing there and I went up to buy some water and these two fucking bitches, these two chicks from fucking Canada, I think they were, come up to her and go, um, how much is the water? I can't remember when she said 20 baht or something. Oh, and if we buy three, can we have three for 50 baht?
And I turned and said, you're going to fucking haggle with an old lady carrying water in the hot sun?
Over 10 fucking bots? That's like fucking...
30 cents, 30p.
You're gonna haggle with an old lady carrying more than you could probably fucking lift in the hot sun up and down the beach? You're gonna haggle her for water? What the fuck is wrong with you?
And I said that, and these two girls were like...
And walked off all like, oh, like I was the crazy one. What the fuck is wrong with people? Give the woman her fucking money.
You're gonna go Thailand and you're gonna fucking haggle the locals over 10 cents in the hot sun so you can delay your trip and extend it as long as possible to update posts about how spiritual and how much you've learned and how much you love the local people and how good a person you are. You're a fucking dickhead.
You're a moron. Pay the fucking fee. I gave her a hundred baht for one bottle of water.
Ta-da! Tip. Because I don't know many grandmas who can walk up and down the fucking beach with 40 kilos of water on their back.
Everyone who goes traveling in Thailand is a fucking dickhead. They're either a stingy-ass moron, they're some spiritual-ass hippie bullshit, or they're there drinking whiskey and fucking a bunch of threes who got hepatitis.
The whole place is a beautiful country, and Thai people as a whole are quite nice. They're extremely accommodating considering the bullshit we do there. And I do enjoy visiting it, but I can't stand the Westerners who turn up. When I go to Thailand, I'm celibate. I don't fuck anything, or I import my girl with me. I'll go, and I'll fly in two or three of my girlfriends, and I'll meet them there. I train every day. I beat the shit out of people. I look at the pretty nature, and then I leave. That's how you enjoy Thailand. Anyone who goes to Thailand and does it any other way other than my way is obviously a failure because it's my way or the highway. I am the king of earth, and everything I do is correct.
If you do it any other way except the exact way I do it, you're a fucking failure.