Transcript
So guys, Andrew has uploaded part 2 to the Lizardman. If you want to join the real world, we have a link down below in the description.
*sad music*
Thank you.
Ed, what are you doing over there?
Enjoying the sun, are you?
Recharging.
Feeling a little bit cold-blooded, are you?
Yes.
Typical lizard behavior. I'm doing a bit of this part. What are you doing over here?
Sun baby? Carging up? Yeah. You know who likes laying in the sun?
I mean it's typical behavior for your kind isn't it? I don't want to lay in the sun. As a human I have warm blood that flows through my veins. Every morning. Every single day. Every single day. I never once ever lay in the sun.
in the sun in my life for I am not Elizabeth
Gloves.
to cover up the reptilian fingers. But, the most compelling piece of evidence I have found
This may appear.
To some people as a jacket, but I think I
that the lizard man has been shedding his skin.
in this room
Don't know why he's put it on a hanger, but this is compelling evidence.
of lizard behavior.
Thank you.
Final test.
Test of manhood, literally.
to see if you are in fact
human.
As you know, I've been investigating my brother all week to see if he is or is not
one of the reptilian lizard people.
who secretly control the world. And I came across this
It's important to note that alcohol can be fatal to lizards, especially when consumed in any significant amount.
So as I sit here
with my friend, baby, drinking a glass of champagne.
I insist that you drink a glass to prove
that you are not a lizard.
Bye.
Well, Tristan?
I haven't had a drop of alcohol in nine months. And I want to talk about that quickly. I want to talk about not drinking because
People who think
Drinking is extremely destructive.
I want to make it clear that last year you watched Tate Confidential.
It was a booze. All we did was booze. Before you reverted, all we did was booze. And I was in a fantastic shape.
And I truthfully, after nine months sober, don't feel any better
than I felt when I was drinking 25 gin and tonics a day. I feel in great shape now. Maybe some men are just made of something else. But I could drink 25 gin and tonics a day, train like an animal, and stay in fantastic shape and do fine.
So it has nothing to do with health benefits.
It is to do with my reversion, religious connotations, but even before that, I was considering stopping 13 because I thought...
Maybe if I stop drinking,
I'll get more inventive.
with how I can spend all my money.
Because, yeah, we go to a hotel and drink and girls and have some fun or drink and chill. But I thought, if I just quit drinking, then I'll be forced to try and find more inventive ways to entertain myself.
And it turns out that that's not real either because we already do the best things on the planet.
Okay. Now I'm doing the best things I've had without boobs. So, but without avoiding the quake, I don't drink.
But...
You're not willing.
on camera to drink a glass of champagne to prove that you are not a reptilian.
No, I'm not, it's all right.
Thank you.
I actually have a lot of respect
for your religious convictions
And I guess that concludes my investigation.
I admit, after a week of investigating,
Sad to say that Andrew Tate
is not one of the reptilians.
Alex, front kick is like you're about to run. There you go. Don't do this, Alex. Front kick is like you're about to sprint. Push. Push. Push.
Don't go hard, dude. You've been punching a long time. I haven't thrown a punch in two years.
It's a hard to fight. Don't go hard. Don't go hard.
Back, step, move, up cut, hop, hop. Cross,
ha ha, ha ha. Cross, ha ha, ha ha. See Alex? Woohoo! Cross, ha ha, cross.
Boom! Yes, boss. Go. Go. 106 kg and after up cut. Only one up cut. I'm gonna go. Again.
I say head kick, but that's not the only kick. You can kick on so long. That's how you do it.
- You did it. - Knee. - Hap! - Hap! - Knee. - Hap!
- Woo! - Good team. - Good team. - Yeah. - Good team. - Hey, come watch this. - Still got it. - You don't watch it. - How do you want to do this? - Two years. - I haven't watched it. - Tristan, that looks so bad. - I haven't watched it in two years. - Come watch this. - You guys. - I'll be unhappy with it though. - No. - No. - 'Cause I know how good I am.
Still look sloppy but that was the first time I've thrown a punch.
since
October 2021
because I was boxing, I had this old shoulder injury, I was boxing in 2021. I threw a left hook, ripped the bicep off my arm.
because of a shoulder injury. So I had the repair surgery here. Then I had the shoulder surgery. You can see the scar on the back.
But it's like riding a bike.
Still got it.
You ever want to come and fuck with me just because I'm dressed in a nice suit? Don't think I can't beat you up. Because I still can. We've taken my least favorite thing to do in the world and made it worse. I hate this machine with a passion. This machine is the bane of my life. But when I was by myself, I could just go on it for half an hour and get a little bit tired. But then you had to come along and do more floors than I did.
I haven't had a day yet since you arrived that the person who goes first hasn't beaten the previous record and the person who goes second hasn't beaten the other. So I'm basically going to do this for next week until I collapse and die of a heart attack and it's all going to be your fault. And Andrew thinks he can win and beat all of us. Andrew is attempting the stairs. Trying to break the record. What's the record right now? The record right now is 186?
in 13 minutes.
*music* How long has he been on that machine, guess? Two minutes. Four minutes and 45 seconds. *music* The stairs is the worst exercises possible to do. You see, I grew up kickboxing. Fighting is interesting, it's exciting, it's dynamic. But something to think about.
corner it's time out you just have half an hour of monotonous horrible stairs to do and no matter what you do you're walking you think you've been doing it for three minutes you wait three four five six minutes you look it's been three and a half 30 seconds goes by the time slows down that machine is actually located in a quantum vortex that slows down the passage of time
I'm so scared
- Go down. Go away.
- What the fuck was it? What the fuck was it tomorrow? What the fuck was it tomorrow?
Where is that tomorrow?
We can go outside in the sun and smoke some cigarettes together and cigars as friends and work on our phones and make some money and suck up all the power of the universe.
198 .4,
198.4, to your record.
Thank you.
The record man
*sigh*
*sigh*
Home!
203 floors!
Bailey Bolton, the new stairs champion.
- Woo!
203. Some good Romanian music to inspire him for the record. Andrew beat the record today with 198. You beat it with 203. And he's sailing past.
Chris, what do you like to have out of the stairs?
in front.
- Come on, come on.
- You're the only sound.
.
We'll be right back.
you
Finish strong.
Four, three, two, one, stop.
*laughter*