Transcript
So I'm gonna film my own Tate speech. There's my messy cabin.
My first glass ever is chilling.
Got my whiskey.
Let's add a little water to my whiskey.
The Brokeys, they're flying at the back for, I don't know, 300-400 pounds, but the real cheese, like me, money ain't real, so...
Right. Watching Gordon Ramsay, obviously.
Eating fucking gummy bears because I'm going to talk G.
Look, I can even write notes. Look at this.
Got a paper and a pen. So I can write down what a G I am. I'm going to do that later. But now, done.
I'm gonna have a shower.
See, that's where we're going. Just open my Star Trek doors.
Keep the porping blow away.
Thank you very much. Thank you. Bye bye.
Right people, my first ever shower on a plane. This is my huge spacious bathroom. I'm going to have to try and do this video without getting my massive cock all over the camera. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking. Tate's rich, tall, strong, smart.
surely you can't have a big dick too yep sorry sorry to break it to you if you were to see my dick it would hurt you more than seeing my bank balance you guys would be devastated so i'm gonna try my best to not get my massive wang on camera for my airplane shower i am gonna get naked because i'm not getting in my fucking clothes am i because i'm filming this myself i'm gonna put my camera
of my whiskey. I've got a box here. Some box, angle, camera.
I'm going to put this here on my whiskey.
Look at the whiskey. Look at the whiskey.
Right. Trying to avoid mirrors.
I'm not dressed. So, this is the shower aboard Emirates First Class. He's a little shower. I don't even want a shower, but we're like, "You take a shower, sir." I'm going to be a pussy and say, "I've got a seat. I can sit down and have a shower." All right,
start cold I don't like cold so press on
turn it off
I think I'm talking working
but I couldn't turn the shower off it's not working I just got dressed to go get
I don't want to get cold. So they're gonna force me to get cold. I'm using my ninja brain now. I bet it wouldn't turn on 'cause the door wasn't closed. So we closed the door.
Door closed.
Nah, I shoulda fucking know. Sneaky fucking MRIs. Right. Shower time.
Shit, I don't have any soap. Fuck, opening the door.
Turn the shower off. That's cool.
avoiding
the fucking mirrors what do we have here shampoo and body wash and soap quick swig of whiskey
nice all right i don't know how i'm going to film myself in the shower guys but we're going to try close the door on with the shower
But we are on a fucking plane.
I've got a timer how much time I'm allowed left of water.
I'm going to go ahead and get some water.
*whistling*
I know you Brokies are thinking. Why would you spend 15,000 pounds on a plane ticket
to go one way in one direction,
just to have a shout.
Thank you.
Well, I'll break your world because I didn't know there was a fucking shower and I still bought it.
Thank you.
Money's not real.
Thank you.
Right, now we're going to do a review of their
body wash, tranquility, while we still got time left on our shower.
I'm gonna put my camera down for a second.
Here's the body wash, you can see.
Beautiful, I know.
smells like pine trees. The very difference between having a shower and on a plane
or on the ground
is that when you have a shower on a plane,
You're in the air!
Think about it.
Thank you.
Technically,
I'm flying right now.
We're always having a shower on the ground.
I wouldn't be flying.
Think about that. That's the main difference.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I may be a very, very rich man, but I'm a man who likes to get money's worth.
Which means...
I'm using every fucking drop of water these cunts are going to give me.
Thank you.
I'm not leaving it for anyone else.
It's all for me.
Right, that's the body wash. Test it out.
Let's test out the seat.
-
Thank you.
you
The seat works.
Back onto the water.
Let's crank it up to maximum heat. See if I can take the pain.
Oh yeah!
- -
Thank you.
It's right on the edge of burning my skin forever and feeling okay.
I'm gonna use my iron fucking yoga flame power.
to endure
The last two bars of water I have on maximum heat.
-
Thank you.
- Thank you.
That's right, fucking turn off, we have three bars left.
Fuckers.
Woo, that's hard.
Steaming up in here.
steam top jeep let them know next person gets in the shower be like fuck
Top G was here.
Ha ha ha!
I'm gonna go back to my sea drink whiskey and watch Gordon Ramsay.
Thank you.
Right, the fun's almost over, we're almost at war.
Then we've got a variety of creams and other free goodies to try.
How many of my money's worth? I'm opening every fucking bowl, every fucking cream, the fucking shower cap.
I'm gonna bankrupt 'em.
Yes.
Let's get a running time, ooh, run that time.
What's a good countdown?
I was about to say what's a good countdown song I was going to sing for all of you. It looks like the fun is over. The button no longer works. And the fun is done. Right.
out into the world.
Holy.
Fuck it's cold.
Jesus Christ is cold.
Thank you.
Put the whiskey.
Planes are cold. I didn't realize there's cold air flying around here. It's freezing.
I've got a big towel though.
Fuck it's freezing cold. Maybe whiskey will help. So far I've done pretty good with the Wang problem.
Now just keep it fucking hidden.
put Mander on.
and then we're back in business. Righty-ho then.
Let me show you what else my fucking magnificent palace of a bathroom aboard this plane has.
Ooh, Bulgari Emirates.
Thank you.
Bulgari man, I can smell good
Thank you.
This shit costs like 50 pounds.
on the ground, but in the sky it's free.
What are you doing? Call the Sky Police?
some cream,
soothing nice get some of that lovely put on my beautiful bald head when I fucking headbutt somebody we have a silky smooth experience what else do we have pan wash just got wash I'm clean I've already had a shower you dumbass
cloths whiskey
lovely this is the toilet clothes we've got variety goodies over here cleanser Wow more shit
crap oh a dental kit I love dental kits I love having a toothbrush with me all the time I keep these in my bag every time I find them
You always need a toothbrush. So we're stealing these.
Coat hanger.
Probably should have hung my coat up really.
Nah, I'm not a girl. It's a girl's job. What's this? Hair dryer?
More stock, more dental kits.
Emirates are going bankrupt.
*thud*
What's in here?
Okay.
Oh, fucking women. Typical.
The guns.
And that's basically it gentlemen.
I know no women are watching this. If you are, you can hit me up on Instagram. And if you're not ugly, you might get yourself a man who can afford to take you on planes that have showers. Here's a flower for you ladies. Inbox me. DM open.
Hairbrush.
Which I'm definitely gonna need.
Right.
I'll fuck this place up. Back to the babies.
Yeah.
.