Transcript
In a previous life,
I was a pimp.
I made money about every way you can possibly make money on the God's green earth. That's the only way I managed to get any money.
So back in my pimpin' days,
every
pimp knows that you try and avoid violence. Pimp means positively inspirational and motivating person. You try and motivate them, keep them out in the streets, whatever. Sometimes they have to know if they fuck with you too tough,
You got a backup.
Now,
There's a few sayings
in the pimp game, which is just get your pimp hand twitching.
because just too many years in the game,
little things like it's cold outside.
Fuck you mean it's cold outside, I need money today.
And as soon as you hear that shake, your pimpan starts to get warmed up automatically.
And they're just saying, I hear people
running their mouths about and coming out with that has nothing to do with the pimp game now that I've retired from that which has got my pimp hand twitching just like before.
and that is
I don't eat gluten.
What the fuck do you mean you don't eat gluten?
Since when do people not eat gluten?
Since when has it been cool?
What the fuck is gluten? I know what gluten is, it's a wheat protein. Do you know what gluten is?
In fact, I've had this happen to me about six times in my life when people say they don't eat gluten. And I've asked them all what gluten is and two knew and four didn't even fucking know what it was.
Well, it's in bread.
Yeah, but what is it?
It's in bread.
It's like you fucking bimbo.
You get slapped.
Humans have been eating bread for thousands of years.
literally thousands of years and nearly every civilization on this planet people were eating bread and
and now you want to come along with your bullshit imaginary dietary requirement
because you think it makes you sound special.
You sound like a dick.
If anyone had a problem digesting gluten, they would have died out thousands of years ago. Natural selection and evolution would have taken care of all your fucking retard ancestors, but yet here you are, standing in my face saying you don't eat gluten.
Yes, you fucking do.
You're trying to sound special and that's bullshit. You can guarantee to eat gluten. You're not going to die. Put the bread in your fucking mouth and be quiet.
I can't stand people and their fucking imaginary ailments, because that's all it is. Imaginary ailments to add some kind of
degree of personality. Imagine going through life being such a fucking retard. The only way you could define yourself
by what is what you put in and out of your mouth.
I'm a vegetarian and I don't eat gluten.
Okay.
Have you achieved anything else in your life? Do you have any actual personality? Are you anything or are you just a person who doesn't eat meat and doesn't eat bread?
But that's how you base your whole identity around something like this. You put it on your Facebook all the time. It's your fucking profile picture. You mention it every possibility you get. Your entire existence. And you define yourself by the fact that you don't put meat and bread in your mouth.
Congratulations, you're a fucking moron.
Next time someone comes up to you and says,
I'm going to start a movement and I'm going to cure the world of gluten intolerance.
I want everyone who's watching this to do something for me. We're going to fix them all. I know they're lying. As said, their ancestors would have died and they wouldn't exist, blah, blah, blah. We all know they're lying. Next time someone says...
They don't eat gluten.
I need you to do something for me and we have to make sure that no one ever says it again. So what happens is you're standing there and they say, "Oh, I don't actually eagly-" Shut the fuck up!
Do that every single time.
I guarantee gluten intolerance is gone overnight.