Transcript
I am extremely versed in CPR. I do know how to administer CPR. However, I will not administer CPR unless you're a hot female.
I'm going to make something clear to the world. This is my public declaration.
If you have a heart attack or some other injury anywhere near me and need CPR, I am trained in CPR.
I did it when I was in school when I was young.
in America and then I did it in school again in England. And then I did a bodyguarding course many years ago when I was a professional fighter. I did the highest level of the door badge you need in England, the personal protection badge. I did it then. I've done it like five or six times. I am extremely versed in CPR. I do know how to administer CPR. However, I will not administer CPR unless you're a hot female. This is the reality.
If you're some fat dude and you just had a heart attack and I don't really know you,
You're going to die. I mean, if you're a really good friend, no, not even if you're a friend. If you're my friend, you just can't be a pussy.
What a horror attack! Get the fuck up!
What's wrong with you?
Go hospital later. Have a drink. Cigarette.
Cup of coffee. Back in the game.
Fucking having heart attacks near me, little pussy.
So none of my friends would even have those kind of problems, because I don't roll with fucking little bitches. But if you're some dude I don't know and you need CPR, and everyone's looking at me, "Who knows CPR?" Well, me.
Help him! No.
Why? Because I ain't gay.
Fuck, I don't know him. Ha! Gay! Well, why'd you say you know CPR? Because I don't lie. I do know CPR. I'm just not going to help that dude. I don't know that dude.
I might wake him up and he's a fucking liberal.
No thanks.
Fuck that.
If you're a hot female, I will administer CPR.
That's the only caveat. I will administer CPR if you're a hot female. So if you're a hot female and something happens, I will save your life. However, there are conditions. Once I saved your life, you owe your life to me, which means you owe your entire existence to me. Don't think I'm going to be saving your life and you're going to run off being a skat. No, you owe your life to me.
I saved your life. You were going to die. And now you get another 20 years of existence and you think you're just going to wake your ass up and go off being a skat. Oh, thanks. Bye. No, no, no, no, bitch.
I saved you.
You're going to move your ass in.
Cook clean. Naked.
orgies.
You're going to behave yourself. You're going to be worse than a slave. In fact, I say worse. That's the wrong word. It's going to be better than a slave. Because my slaves...
I have a few.
My slaves, sometimes in the deepest, darkest night, resent the fact that I'm such a cruel master. But you'll be happy you're here.
Yes, Tate, please fuck me with five other women tonight. Yes, I will clean. Yes, I will cook. I'll do anything you say. Yes, I'll tattoo your name on me. You saved my life.
You'll be grateful.
Now, if you're watching this and thinking, "Oh, that's crazy, isn't it?" No, it's not crazy. It's more crazy to think I'm going to save some bitch's life and let her run off to suck some other dick. What the fuck am I saving her life for, then?
Fuck am I, I ain't getting mixed up in that business.
So if you do have a heart attack around me,
Basically, to surmise, if you're not a hot woman, you're fucked. If you are a hot woman, you need to stay conscious enough and keep enough power inside you that you can sign that contract. Because I'll come up to you, it's in my pocket. Come up and say, hey, bitch, you're dying. About to save your life. Just sign here that after I save your life, you're my slave. You'll sign a contract. So what are we signing exactly? You fucking sign a contract. No implications, but you must be willing to die.
get the pen out and get it done, then I ain't saving you either and you're all just going to fucking die. I learned CPR five times and I will only administer under very specific conditions.
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