Transcript
He who makes me turn into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide, he turns into the vide.
What's up?
So, new vans here.
you
Come on, move your purchases here. Let's go see who's worth the money.
We already have one of these, by the way.
What is it?
It's that Mercedes van thing. Are you a fan?
a fan of your van.
I bought it because I can't.
*laughs*
Do you want to go fucking see her or not? I'm tired. It's a long day. It's gone.
Listen.
I'm the man. I'm going to sleep.
Tristan, I want to see the band.
If you don't, come see it with me.
You won't be allowed in.
Because you'll be suffering from a ban. I'll go see it without you. You're banned!
I'm the van.
All right, it's a pretty cool van, not gonna lie.
Thank you.
.
Oh, you're right.
What?
Oh no, it's not.
Wait, where's my seat?
Why are there only two seats?
There aren't two seats.
There's a way of making the seats work.
Thank you.
Ha ha ha.
Thank you.
New Yorks.
Yes, yes.
for you.
I don't know what you're saying.
Tristan.
You're slumbering all over your shisha pipe.
I don't know.
I'm Garth.
Darth Top G.
I no longer breathe air.
This is my
Advanced system.
You're stronger than Arrow or Whore.
- Check.
Understand?
Thank you.
Yeah, right, okay, who cares?
boring
-
You work it out, faggot.
Nice man.
Tristan, I like the old one better.
I don't know how you know this works.
- All right, it's no van. - All right, it's no van.
- All right, it's no van.
you
*music*
Thank you.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
Outro Music.
you
*outro music*
.
All right, so breaking the fourth wall. I always film these love letters and I never knew if it was actually a joke or if it was for real.
You actually get loads of love letters every single day. This is not a joke. Yeah, these are the ones...
whose Instagrams I need to check.
These are already disqualified, these ones.
This one is every day.
- What's this one?
Please, Andrew, 24 year old.
I want to speak to you. Instagram. Okay, we'll check her Instagram now.
These are all those. One of those had really good handwriting by the way. Yeah, the poem was beautiful but no insta. That's a tragedy.
- Okay, this is the trash file. I'm gonna check her now.
One second.
*applaudissements*
Also, by the way,
You might smoke too much. What?
All you do all day every day is smoke shisha. Matter of factly, I think this table is a very accurate depiction of who you are.
You've got your weights, you've got your phone, you've got your laptop to work, you've got your coffee, you've got your water, and you've got your shisha. This is literally your daily essentials. Yeah, but...
I quit smoking and it made me sick.
You have been healthy since you started smoking again. So now I've quit smoking.
Say again? - Not smoking has killed Andrew. - I've never seen Andrew sick a day of my life. - Andrew, you seriously...
that are quitting not smoking.
I need to take my health seriously and make sure that I always know
Andrew, this is your body finally expelling all of the toxins that you've accumulated over all these years.
I run on toxins. I'm toxically masculine. I only breathe smoke now.
Are you refueling your body with the toxins? 12 hours a day, I only breathe smoke.
I feel great. Andrew, this can't be good for you. Why?
and that's it
.
you
.
You're in six.
You're in six.
If you step back to the side, it's one. So you're wasting loads of energy jumping back to not get hit. And sometimes they still catch you on the end. You gotta move off at an angle so you don't have to move as much. And then you're closer to count. If you step back four or five steps, even if he misses, you can't hit him.
- Time!
♪ ♪
♪ Oh
- Yeah.
It feels good.
You can't smoke in between rounds.
*laughs*
-
Bro, you're so good. Armies love us. Please do it differently.
That's crazy.
It's not you to force out.
Whoa.
*music*
Amen.
*music*
you
Let's go.
I'm punkin, I pressure that. I've got all my breath for the last 30 seconds. Come on. Come on.
Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Three seconds. Now I'm fucking. Finally. I'm finally up.
1, 2, 1, action!
Go, boss, go, hit the second! Come on! Go, boss, go!
3, 2, 1, try! Ah!
Thank you.
- Yeah.
.
.
- Thank you.
Ah.
.
One, two, three.
Thank you.
.
Finally a fight. Power from your back toes.
That's really powerful. I need a heavy back. Heavy day.
Luke's jab is sick. - It's a shot, yeah. Sick and shot. - Got really good jab. I thought it was shit. Like I said, I think he fucked his hands, what if he did it? - Yeah.
Yeah, so even when I run away from you, I try and keep my feet in position so I can still bat. Because I like run, run, bam, run, run, bam. And I hit you, and I'm sorry, it stops you coming.
I'll move and I'll cross the shoulder. I'll move and I'll hook.
and then it slows you down a bit and then I get to rest and fuck around. Your feet are always in position. You never, you never, your feet are never out of balance. You watch every single video, your feet are always in balance, they're always here, always here. Even when you change stance, they're always there.
When you cross and change stance, that's hard.
You just do it seamlessly. It's seamless when you do it.
I think, oh fuck, it's change stance. It's like there. But I think I'll clock that, all right? Like when you change stance,
You give me this shoulder. So I'm trying to hit that shoulder but I've got to be careful
for the fucking hook that's gonna come right here.
- Yeah, I don't think you're just
You'll cross right and then you'll hook it to get back to that side.
- Scene. - I tried it, it didn't work. - Practice, come on, practice. - All right, then we'll do that one. Not ready. - Because my left leg was my better kicking leg, than my right leg, so I would,
Cross.
and then body kick. - Oh. - So now you know. - Well, I need to do it. - Now it's there. - Yeah, yeah.
I think I'm going to be there again.
I would jab, cross, and then left body kick.
- To the left front. - To the hip? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Or to the edge. - Yeah. - Your left hip was crazy. - My left was better than my right. - Was crazy. - Crazy.
He had some camera, he was fucking sharp as hell.
Alright, match up man.
No, I'm fine. Back today. Crocom's done. Seven years ago, yeah. How many people did you take out? I'm sure you took about three people.
Because I remember early days when you give us, you was there, so boom! And the guys,
- Listen to your hands. - Yeah.
It's always, it's always hard if you don't see it. It doesn't matter. Same with this body shot. If you hit with a tiny jab you don't see it, it hurts so much more than the hook you expect. Weird.
Your body can... Chi is real. You see it coming? You can take it. It's when you're like, "What was that?"
*music*
*thud*
Mark's cool.
Thank you.
How many boxes are fucking done with this?
25 to be specific. You know what's funny? We had dumplings for lunch and we had dumplings for dinner yesterday.
And we had dumplings for lunch yesterday. We're dumpling guys now.
Thank you.
- The first time I was in the first time, I was in the first time.
Thank you.
- No.
We had 25 boxes of dumplings for lunch.
We had 25 boxes of dumplings for dinner last night.
We had 25 boxes of dumplings for lunch yesterday.
We eat too many dumplings.
I don't think dumplings are healthy anyway.
Well...
There's just no way they're healthy. It's just...
Carbicide. Is that for your health?
Tell me what to do.
- Yeah.
Thanks for the input, Tay.
There, I said it. Dumplings aren't healthy, but dumplings plus shisha are definitely not healthy.
*sniff*
I feel like I just need to stop
saying that you smoke too much, 'cause you're not gonna listen to me.
Thank you.
Andrew.
So we decided to finally enjoy the patio, but Nigel and Marcel can't handle the cold. Oh dear. Why are we here? It's cold. I can't take this. It's draining. It's draining. It is cold. The Atlantic Ocean is cold.
and you need to get used to it. - What was it? - I think what we're trying to do
is get used to because it's gonna get colder.
So I think this is climatizing the cult.
- Starting to not want to go on anything. - When we get the boat, I'm sailing to the South Pole. - We're not. - I am. - We're not.
*music*
Thank you.
- We're gonna jump Marcel in the ice. - We can see penguins. Ice walk. Marcel, I know you want to see the penguins. - See the penguins. - The penguins are cold, Marcel. - I don't want to see any. - You want to see them. - I'm not going on the boat. - Penguins are sick, you're going on the boat. - You can get on the boat. - And you've got to get used to the cold, because I'm going to sail the icy sea.
And you're coming with me. No, I'm not coming with you. Do you know what I can't wait to see
You whooped the...
I'm not walking the plank. You will. It's either that or you should get stabbed by the sword. So we're all going to have cutlasses. I might even get a motherfucking eye patch.
Up with this bitch. Little parrot. Teach you a lesson. Exactly what he showed up. You need a parrot for the boat.
Thank you.
we have to have a didn't have a yeah you can't hear it I think we will listen yeah I patches
No, okay, I'm not walking the plank. We're not getting a plank. You want to put a plank on the board? It's either that or we're going to...
stab you.
- You can't stab me then.
At least I might survive that. What's up in the water, that's it, I'm done. - A few moments later.
*laughter*
You can kind of see it on the screen. This room is smoked out. I was wondering why the house was so empty. Keep the door closed. We're trying to keep our lungs strong.
Bro, this room is smoked out. Don't let Andrew's sheisha smoking rub. You don't even smoke sheisha. You smoke sheisha. You never smoke sheisha. What am I doing right now? Well, you are smoking sheisha. Now, what I'm saying is don't let Andrew's bad habits rub off on you.
There's four pipes in here, and I see three men smoking and one crying about the smoke. Why don't you close that door and hit the pipe?
Thank you.
Okay.
I feel the need to resist temptation, however,
I am kind of tempted to join. What is it the Bible says about always giving into temptation?
Is there something like that?
Alright, take care.
The work of temptation is in there.
Thank you.
I can't resist any longer.
I can't resist.
Camera inception.
*crying*
We all have our hoods up like we're in some secret gang.
Everyone knows our power. The secret society of the smoke. This is a very smoky room. I think everyone at home can tell this is turbo smoke.
Thank you.
I'm genuinely surprised that you're smoking shisha. You never smoke shisha.
It's a very new thing. It's the cause.
It's important. Why am I smoking? I don't smoke.
What are you doing right now? I am smoking.
Thank you.
Andrew, no devices. Let's enjoy the moment.
You look like a big teddy bear.
Scare? Smokey Bear.
Only you can prevent it.
healthy levels.
Do my best, old mate. Do my fucking best.
I've given into temptation
Thank you.
You're so dark, I can't even see in that corner.
Racist! Racist! Racist! Racist! I just need to bump up the exposure. Oh, he said no devices. The camera's a device. It is a device. Faggot.
I'm documenting our
daily conversation. What is it like living in the Tate household? We just insult each other all day long and smoke an absorbent amount of shisha. Suck Cracker. You won't live very long because we're kicking you out. Thanks.
I don't even have to smoke the shisha. I can just breathe in the air of the room and I taste shisha smoke. No, no air. No.
and we'll eat you off our smoke
Who can breathe in more, you or me?
You.
I did play the trumpet. I have very well-trained lungs.
It has nothing to do with smoking. Can I blow shisha through my trumpet?
While I play. That's not a bad idea. That'd be G. Yeah, that's...
But you'd have to do it in a smokeless room so the trumpet was smoky.
I'll try that soon.
Thank you.
All right, Andrew, closing statement.
Sheesh is pretty banging. Walk and lead. Talk and know about my product. Closing statement.
White people are going to be extinct soon because you lost control of your women.
That's why. Your women run your society now and you're like, I mean, we have one kid. She's gay.
Those niggers are taking over.
It's going to be shisha everywhere. Arabs are going to run your cities. Shisha.
Blacks don't really smoke shisha that much. Never invented that. It was busy. What do blacks smoke? There's something black people smoke that gets really smoke. We invented mud huts.
Yeah, we did. And it kept us busy.
We did invent that.
We probably invented the Bell and Hara. No. Well. Black people invented that. But we'll win in the end.
You have the clock, so we have the time. Just wait it out.
jaw will provide ask a black man jaw provides
White man built society. Cool. We ain't gonna build one. We'll just get over there. Let's take theirs.
Chao, provide. Chao, look.