Transcript
- Everyone's a retard.
I apologize for using a provocative word. I know it's not usually my style.
Quite an unusual change of tactic there, but...
I need to make a very important point and I felt
The word retard would be
Pertinent.
Hmm.
Thank you.
Take me to jail.
I'm enjoying my morning coffee in the morning sunshine.
in my morning mansion.
with my morning billions.
And I'm reading morning Twitter.
And everyone is fucking retarded. Do you remember being a child thinking adults were smart?
And now I'm an adult and I'm looking around me like, what the fuck?
How does the world function at all?
Like, I just scroll up and down Twitter, and I think these people...
Yeah.
I can just choose randomly the stupid little news stories of the day that everyone's getting upset about.
Supposedly Elon
spoke to Putin.
Elon spoke to Putin.
Okay, so he's the most famous man in the world.
Sorry, that's me.
He's the richest man in the world.
And he's talking to the leader of a country.
Normal now
Yeah, but that's Putin and Putin's a bad guy.
Says who?
Says the news.
Thank you.
Yeah, but the news lies.
Even if what the news was saying was true,
Even if he is a bad guy.
Why can't Elon talk to him?
Who said they were even agreeing on anything?
Maybe they were disagreeing.
I mean, we are at proxy war with these people. They are a nuclear power. They're never going to go away. We do need a degree of geopolitical diplomacy with Russia forever. Isn't it a good thing to think that maybe you would talk to the leader of Russia? Don't you think it's pretty stupid to ban, to blanket outlaw the idea of talking to him ever?
Is "Meme Girls" your geopolitical strategy?
Mean Girls?
Don't talk to her. We're the cool kids.
How fucking dumb are you?
Who cares if he spoke to Pooh? Who cares?
I speak to a bunch of people I don't fucking like. I'm talking to all of you.
I don't like any of you motherfuckers. I could pay all your bills. Fuck you.
I mean, there are people who genuinely believe that Putin's bad because the news said so, and genuinely believe nobody should talk to him.
It's like high school shit.
These people put them over there. Let's ignore them.
I did that when I was like eight.
Hook?
And they vote, these people. This is why I say the current election,
Thank you.
is between men
and faggots and women. Because those are the two teams. If you're voting Democrat, you're a faggot. Or a chick.
I'm a man, I'm a Democrat. No, you're gay. Get AIDS test!
You're a faggot.
So, it's faggots and chicks against dudes. And all the faggots and chicks are saying that mean girls should be the geopolitical strategy.
which America implements for the next four years.
If you elect this fucking girl boss, that's what's going to happen.
And I'm sitting there and I'm scrolling and
That's dumb shit. Then I see other dumb shit. Like, obviously we all want Trump to win. Yeah, of course we want Trump to win because we want Trump and Elon to dismantle the current system because the current system's all a fraud and a scam and everybody knows it doesn't even fucking work.
We haven't had a president for five months. What are we talking about it?
Why is no one talking about the fact we haven't had a president and it doesn't matter?
Hello?
Thank you.
So we're hoping that the person we do vote in for president dismantles the whole system and burns it all down. That's how bad the system's gone.
Fucking hell.
*sniff*
But it's complicated, you know?
Because...
I feel like
When you're a balanced individual,
And you have viewpoints on both sides of the great schism because you're.
thinking and you have a brain.
And you're not ideologically completely tied up in either one.
It's hard to find people who are sensible.
You know, I see people on Twitter and they're like, that's stupid. We can talk to Putin. What's wrong with talking to Putin? They agree with everything I say.
And then they seem to think that a genocide's okay.
And they're pro-Israel.
I'm like, no, the genocide is bad. You can't burn loads of innocent children.
And then I find someone who talks about the genocide being bad. I'm like, ah, finally, this person has a brain. And I scroll up and down their account and they think men can get pregnant.
What the fuck is going on?
Is there anyone left with a fucking brain cell?
Who can just sit and say, this is right, this is wrong. All these fully right-wing, ideological, Israel flag fucking retards are retarded.
All of these pronoun and bio Ukraine flag fucking retards are retarded.
And I can't seem to find anyone in the middle with a fucking thinking mind.
I'm left here almost by myself, alone, at the top of the mountain, knowing masterful Aikido.
Don't talk to Putin.
Mean girls. Fucking mean girls. Pregnant men.
Genocides, we have no fucking president.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Breathe.
And this whole simulation that I'm living in,
This whole fucking...
video game I've been the main character of for the last four or five years.
has given me unlimited credit.
I'm just sitting here. I wake up each morning. I sit in the sun. I turn my coffee. I scroll Twitter. I'm like, everyone's a fucking retard. I buy another $5 million car. Do you know I have $35 million cars?
Pagani Utopias, Pagani Hayuras,
The Jamaras have ordered a bunch of them.
Jesco's, Regera.
Sheer arms. People don't even know what this shit is.
I think I'm just looking for stimulation. I'm just bored.
Just like... Buying cars, fucking women, having kids.
Everyone's a fucking retard making millions of dollars.
Let me prove to you the world's fucked.
- Okay.
I'm going to pump a bunch of crypto coins and people are going to become millionaires. And they're going to send me screenshots and say, Andrew, I made $3 million. And I'm going to look at it and go, congratulations, you made $3 million. That's great.
How long would it take you to make $3 million if you were an engineer?
If you did something real,
Forever, basically.
Nothing's even real anymore. Even money isn't real.
The hubris that humans are operating under, the level of sheer arrogance now,
I'll give you another example of something I see on Twitter all the time that's fucking retarded.
There's always some dipshit.
who's achieved basically nothing.
Literally nothing.
They may have a few followers and they think that's an achievement, but they've achieved nothing.
They haven't become a billionaire like I have. They're not kickboxing world champion like I have. They haven't even fathered a bunch of children. They've done nothing.
Elon's not that smart.
Thank you.
He put rockets in space better than anyone else.
and he built the largest electric car company in the world.
Why is he not that smart?
Because I don't agree with his politics. He's not that smart.
You're a dipshit and you're complaining about Elon on the platform that he owns.
And you don't even have enough of a brain to look in the mirror going, "I have to use his platform for anyone to even read my stupid opinion, and he puts rockets in space, and he's the world's richest man, and everyone thinks I'm a dumbass."
And it doesn't even cross your mind. When you look in the mirror, it doesn't cross your mind that you're a fucking retard.
You're a fucking retard. Whenever I see anyone complain about Elon, I spend a few seconds going, "Oh, someone's complaining about Elon. This must be a world leading authority. This person must have done something to equal his prowess and his capabilities and his achievements. It would be extremely stupid."
for a fat retard on a couch.
to make fun of Usain Bolt for running.
and say, "He's not that fast."
I mean, surely.
And you click on him, he goes, "Reporter at the New York Times."
Being a reporter doesn't even mean anything anymore. Being a reporter means you need to take a dildo up your butthole.
To get a reporting job nowadays, what you do is you go into the New York Times,
after visiting a sex store with a brown paper bag filled with different sized dildos, and then everyone stands there, there's a competition, who can get the largest dildo off their butt?
And whoever does gets the job.
Then they sit there on the dildo repeating the shit they're supposed to say, which is attacking Elon because he's more relevant and more successful than anyone who's ever fucking worked for the New York Times ever.
And then they make this article.
And some dipshit reads it
And believes it. I guess. I guess there's someone out there who believes it.
You know?
Most people are now starting to realize the news is fake. The news says something, and now we all debunk the news on Twitter. I can't wait until the news says something and we all just ignore it.
Then we finally won.
When they say, COVID, get your vaccine. And instead of saying, you don't need the vaccine, COVID's bullshit. Everyone just totally ignores it.
Straight back to meme coins. Boring.
Pumping meme coins, calling everyone nigger faggots. That's what I want.
That's the world I want to live in.
Thank you.
Someone tweeted me this morning. Andrew!
Why do you keep saying nigger?
Because I'm breaking social paradigms. Okay?
Because I can.
And everyone needs to stop being so offended by a word. You know what word would offend me more than being called a nigger?
being called broke.
Don't worry about anyone calling you a nigger.
This is all the brothers out there. Don't worry about someone coming up and saying you're a nigger.
That's fine. Worry about them coming up and saying, you're broke, and they're right.
If you're going to wake up broke, you should have never gone to sleep.
Should've stayed the motherfucker awake and made some money.
That's what I did.
Woo!
You know?
*snort*
Thank you.
one of my cousins
He's a crack addict.
Okay.
I've got a white family and a black family. I'm half.
Black family.
Well...
Stereotypes don't come out of nowhere.
Let's put it that way.
Jail.
Shootouts. Crack addicts. Ta-da.
White family.
Yeah, sure. I mean, they don't go to jail, but...
They ain't built like us.
They're sitting there behind their computer screens
dorks.
I'm obviously a hybrid, the superhuman.
But I was talking to my black family. When I first became a millionaire, I was talking to my crack addict cousin. He asked to borrow some money. I was like, bro, I'm not giving you more money for crack. I'm giving you a lot of money for crack. Enough is enough.
I'm funding your dealer at this point. I probably put some fucking rims on his car.
And he gave me some advice.
He goes, man...
If you ever think you're going to go broke,
Don't.
So thanks for that.
I've kept it in mind ever since. I've never gone broke.
Smart.
See, there's wisdom. Listen to the crack addicts. That crack addict is wiser than most of these fucking retards on Twitter with a blue checkmark working for the New York Times.
sitting there saying that Elon is dumb, and that no one should talk to Putin, and we should just ignore him and he'll go away.
in our high school world.
Everyone is a fucking retard.
Fucking retarded.
I'm sorry.
So what I need to do,
is find people like me who have a functioning brain and are somewhere in the middle of the political spectrum. I don't consider myself right-wing at all.
Oh, yeah, of course men can't have babies.
Of course women should make me a fucking sandwich. Duh.
but also, fuck Israel. So I'm not, you know, like, I'm not this conservative...
Turning Point USA fucking Jordan Peterson faggot bullshit.
They're all fucking losers. I'm none of that shit.
I'm a realist.
I agree with the left wing on a whole bunch of things.
I do, I actually do.
Hear me out, I do.
I'm also half English, half American. I agree with the left wing on loads of things. Healthcare should be free.
If you're gonna take half my money, you better give me a fucking doctor.
I agree.
America takes half your fucking money to give me a doctor.
or lower my taxes.
Make a choice.
I ain't gonna pay any taxes in Dubai, and I'll pay for my own doctor, fine.
If you can take half my money, give me something.
Call me a liberal if you want. Call me crazy.
Thank you.
But everyone doesn't have a functioning brain anymore and everyone's fucking retarded.
I guess that's the bottom line, you know?
Thank you.
Thank you.
I feel like I'm opening up.
to you as my fans. I want you to understand me.
I've reached the highest echelons of fame and wealth.
and importance
You know, I've lived a very varied life. I was broke.
I've been rich. I was a professional fighter.
You get to watch the UFC guys and you feel a tinge of envy in your heart thinking that could have been you. I don't have that envy. I was. I fought. I did it.
I've done it.
Millionaire.
Billionaire, rich, poor, jail, Bugattis, jets. You name it, I've done it. All areas of the map. The ghetto.
The rich bit part, I sat with shakes.
I sat with the brothers on the corner, rolling dice. Done it all.
I'm kind of at the stage now where it's just like...
Thank you.
You know? I wouldn't say I've lost purpose.
It's that I've found the most degenerate stupid purposes.
I just want to pump Mean Coins.
Because it's funny.
I just want to say nigger because it's funny.
You know?
I'm a full grown man. You're a nigger.
You know, I'm on there. I'm on Twitter calling Kamala Harris a hoe.
She might be president. And then when I get arrested, I'll be like, Matrix attack.
Go!
You're a silly hoe.
But it's funny.
You know, what's the point of life if you're not gonna, like, you know, feel something?
You know, you're a fucking hoe. You're a silly Jew. You're a fucking nigger. Pump this coin to the fucking moon. Shut up, bitch. I'm a human trafficker. Ha ha ha.
I know only some of you will get me when I say this, but the ones of you who get me will get me.
Don't you think loads of rich people are fucking boring? Elon, cool. Rockets in space, saving the world, great. Elon's great. He's a very sensible, fun person with his money. Name someone else who's rich, who's fun with their money besides me and Elon.
I'll go online and say, tell me a ticker, I'll pump it, you can all get rich. I don't even have any of the coin.
I'm just helping you guys.
We're just buying fucking endless supercars and fucking...
Wait till I'm free.
Go to Iceland, fly a bunch of Lambos into Iceland, race around, get arrested in Iceland, go to Icelandic jail, which is probably better than my house.
Who's been to Icelandic jail? I'll find out. I'll human traffic some Icelandic hosts.
Minor.
Give me some Viking bitches. Log on.
I don't give a fuck.
Put me in fucking Viking jail.
It's a story.
I'm gonna go ice. I'm gonna fuck around. Everyone else with money and fame is fucking boring.
They won't even say nigger.
Thank you.
What world are we coming to? What's it coming to?
*snoring*
You know, we bought our first yacht.
We haven't advertised this yet, but we bought a yacht.
$27 million.
A couple days ago, completes in a year and a half. We're having it custom made. You're going to know it. It's going to be the world's most famous yacht, like the Bugatti. It's not like any other yacht. It's very special.
Thank you.
And Chris is like, we should just live at sea.
Should we? He goes, "Yeah, when this is over, we don't want to live on land. We want to live at sea."
with our wenches, and I'll have an eyepatch, and a cutlass, and a parrot.
♪♪♪