Transcript
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Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed faculty, proud parents, and most importantly, the incredible graduates of The Matrix University, I stand before you today with immense pride and honor to deliver this commencement speech. I give my heartfelt congratulations to the new class of slaves in this program, instilling your minds with insidious propaganda and providing you with very little information of actual value.
of your life. You will sacrifice your sanity for this meager paycheck as various HR and company ethics departments further damage your rationale and dilute the truth. You will sell your soul, and you will give up on all that you believe in. We will give you a paycheck. As a bonus to your slavery, we have gifted you a lifetime of student debt.
a crucial step in ensuring you are too desperate for money to ever hold a controversial opinion. You will do as we say.
and you will think what we want you to think. In return, you will earn just enough to survive. You probably noticed that in all of your years of university, we've not taught you once how to make money.
This is important because money would allow you to be free. We don't want you to be free. And you've worked very hard for this slavery. We've worked very hard to bankrupt you and brainwash you. And none of that would be possible without this degree. So congratulations!
Thank you.
you
It doesn't take four years of brainwashing and hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt to learn how to make money. In fact, that's probably the worst thing you could do.
because you're wasting something which is monumentally more important than money. You're wasting everybody's
time.
Inside the real world, students learn about practical artificial intelligence applications. Learn the latest in artificial intelligence and how it's impacting business today. Learn how to create any design, website, or video with artificial intelligence tools running as your co-pilot. We also teach e-commerce. Learn how to profitably source and sell products people use every single day of the week. The online shopping industry is only increasing with every passing year. It's a growing modern industry that every company on earth either already participates in or they're simply going to perish. Only the innovative survive.
Client acquisition, like the sales. When you apply for a job, you're trying to convince a company to give you money every month in exchange for your work. Being able to properly sell your abilities and skills is the biggest decider on how much a company will pay you.
Sales, Business, Finance, Marketing, Investing,
We'll even teach you fitness for world-class trainers. Why be rich and rich? Rich nerds are still losers. We'll teach you how to be rich and strong. You join a community with dozens of real-world professionals ready to share their life experiences.
ready to share the techniques they use to make money and share the wisdom they have used
to navigate the obstacles of life.
If you want to be a millionaire,
Learn.
from Millionaire.
And the real world provides all of this for only $49 a month. Fully accessible to any person on Earth,
without the need to take out debt.
Monthly payments you can cancel at absolutely any time.
The real world has over 200,000 students renewing their membership monthly. This isn't because of some heavy social pressure, some heavy societal expectation like traditional university, it's simply because we deliver on our promises.
Students of the real world renew because they are learning things that matter right now. The real world gives its students a modern education in how money moves, how to make money, and the realities of business and finance. The real world is the only university on the planet teaching you how to escape the matrix as opposed to preparing your mind for slavery inside of the matrix. Education is important. You must learn.
learn things. But traditional education is out of date information which cannot help you, overpriced purposefully, to keep you in debt. To keep you a slave. Our information is cutting edge, updated at 8am every single morning provided at a cost so effective even people in the third world can break free.
Hard work and dedication is important if you ever want to succeed. But you must learn skills
and dedicate your efforts to endeavors which will tell you how to break free from slavery. Traditional education is designed to create people who can build yachts, but the real world is designed to create people who will buy yachts. Which one do you want to be? Do not get left behind. Do what over 200,000 people like you have already done, taken action, and joined the real world. If you're looking for the most modern, up-to-date, and revolutionary financial education platform on earth,
You have found it. If you want to make money and escape slavery, we will teach you.
It is time to escape the Matrix. Welcome.
to the real world.
*Dramatic Music*