Transcript
*Evil Screams*
We've sentenced ourselves.
to jail.
Older people are expecting like a really exciting live stream.
Because jail sounds like an exciting story, but it wasn't.
It was day after day after week after month.
of monotonous waiting
We did get phone calls in jail, but we didn't get phone calls every day. So today's going to be one of the days that we have no phone calls.
Yeah, there were many phone callers days in jail.
Thank you.
Yeah, this is one of the days we're saving our phone minutes. Admit you're in jail.
Admit you're in jail.
I asked you first.
Admit it.
I, Tristan Tate, am a loser and went to jail. A minute. You went to jail.
We'll talk about me afterwards. You went to jail for three months.
First you have to admit you went to jail. And you didn't even do any crimes. So you're an extra loser.
*Evil Screams*
Okay.
So you don't want to eat spoonfuls of instant coffee with me?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No.
Bye.
So you're scared?
So you're scared of the jail instant coffee challenge.
Over here you can see we have a little table.
with our jail stuff.
Plastic knives, plastic cups. Here we go. Plastic spoons.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Amen.
*sniff*
Join me.
Thank you.
MR.
It's exactly like jail. We tried to make it as authentic as possible.
We instantly reverted to the same stupid shit we did in jail. You did this in jail. Don't do it. There's no point.
Why?
Thank you.
*Ballon Screams*
Maybe we should make a bomb and blast our way out.
This is our house.
We own this building. Have you ever considered mixing water and coffee?
Thank you.
to create an explosive substance.
Let's talk to me.
I don't think anyone's tried that before.
*Beeing*
Iceborne Motelight, something begins with B.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't know baby
Thank you.
I sparred my lie something that begins with
S
D. H. Stupid dickhead. Me.
Well played.
Thanks.
The worst thing about jail is you.
Yeah, I prefer being with the random Romanian drug dealers. The moment they put me in a cell with you, I was pissed.
That was extremely depressing.
started eating coffee and doing weird shit.
Amen.
Thank you.
One of the best days in jail is when that guy's wife
sent him stuffed peppers.
And I ate stuffed peppers with crunched up Doritos in it. And it was the most delicious thing I've ever had. Maybe in my life.
Only cost me a few cigarettes.
All right, cigarettes are the currency of jail.
So I'll give you five cigarettes if you never talk to me again.
I'll give you six cigarettes afterwards if I'm not going to talk to you again.
No.
It's actually a good trade. I end one cigarette up for free.
But then I'll give you seven cigarettes to take all the cigarettes back.
It doesn't make any sense.
And I'll give you eight cigarettes to get over it.
Thank you.
I'm going to quit smoking.
What the people at home don't understand is, as I lay here on this bed,
You almost fell off the planet. Yes. Think about it. Technically, you're not looking up.
Technically, you're glued.
with your back to the earth staring down into infinite space.
Did you know that? All I can see is a jailbed bank.
if I grip with my fingers into the floor of jail,
I can use my chi to slow down the Earth's rotation. Have you ever been to Jupiter? To make days longer. Hear me out.
And if I speed the earth up,
to spin
92 times faster
we could finish our whole jail sentence in a day.
Have you ever been to Jupiter? Yes.
Is that why you're stupider?
You will never recover.
for the rest of your fucking life. You will never financially recover from what just happened to you. You're going to be broke forever. Next time you fucking want to walk around, I'm Mr. Millionaire, I'm the Taliban, walk around your fancy suits with your fucking fancy cars, try to go to Monaco casino, try to spend 20 or 30 grand a night on dinner. They're going to remind you of the fact that you went to Jupiter and that's why you're stupider and you're never going to be the same again. You will never recover from this exact moment. Your life will never be the same from this moment. I told the whole fucking world where you've been and what you really are. I've probably been watching us.
Your favorite planet is Uranus.
I don't fucking figure out.
I have competently folded.
A paper swan. Can you admit
that I have a black belt and org on me.
Just admit that you can't do that and I have a black belt in origami. Admit it to the fucking world. Does it fuck? You doubted me.
You said, and I quote,
Tristan, you will never competently fold a paper swan ever.
End quote. Andrew Tate, 2023, just before this live stream started. That's what you said. And here I stand triumphant.
in my achievement,
at folding a perfectly made paper swan. I want you to have this Andrew, as a symbol of all the things you'll never achieve.
as a symbol to the nobody that you'll always be.
I know your anger is right.
That is what happens.
when you try and become something in life.
The Matrix beats you down.
Noodles and a cob! They taste so good to eat! Noodles and a cob!
the tasty prison trees. I make my noodles with hot water and they taste so great. I'm in jail for no reason.
Because I'm Tristan, hey?
You can't make noodles in a cup because the cup melts. You can't. Because you're not man enough. I'm going to double my cups up. You're just going to melt the cup around the other cup. I don't live in fucking fear like some USS Spectrum Jupiter piece of shit with his little fucking first mate.
Happy homo.
You're definitely gonna ruin the cups. Oh no, don't ruin the plastic cups. What are we gonna do? We should ask the prison guards for another bowl. We're allowed bowls. We had bowls in jail. It was an oversight by those who said, "Look, then I have to make a whole new song."
Do you think I have time to just invent these songs off the top of my head with all the fucking brilliance I've listened to them? Please bring us a bowl.
We're allowed bowls. It was an oversight.
Noodles in a cup.
Stop doing that. You're not going to successfully make noodles. You don't go in a bowl! No more.
Noodle, see, no bowl, prison guard said. Noodles and a cup.
*Epic music*
And I'm never gonna eat again. Noodle and bowls just have no taste.
It's not easy to pretend.
Tristan is a fool.
Should've known better than to call a friend.
Cause he can't make doodles in a cup. My song doesn't have to rhyme.
because you are a door.
I feel like we brought the word dork back.
From now on, I sing songs at you that don't rhyme.
From now on,
I speak only in beeps.
How will I understand you? Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Thank you.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Yeah.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
I
Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep.
*Evil Screams*
Tristan.
Thank you.
This is a voice inside your head.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Tristan?
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is your ancestor speaking from the spirit realm.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We're disappointed in you.
*laughter*
Have you ever considered setting yourself on fire?
Yeah.
There's pros and cons.
Let's go through them. Cons.
Burns. Pros. Nice and warm.
Nice and warm.
Cons.
Probably going to die. Pros.
I'm in jail anyway. Won't have to do any more jail.
I can't really think of any more cons. There's probably only two cons, but there's loads of pros.
It'll be interesting to watch. It'll look cool. It'll look great.
Think of how good it will look as an Instagram picture. I'll do it tomorrow morning. Good night.
*Evil Screams*
No! No! Please! No! Sure! Come on! Sure! Please! Please! No!
Thank you.
Nice.
Okay.
Maybe if you beat all the guards up, they'll let you out, bro.
keep going man I'm racing shot in the device don't give up now there's only 50 guards and guards are screaming maybe they'll beat them all you can go home
Take the keys. Let me out on your way out, bro. Throw us the keys if you win the fight, please. Yeah. Sell five, mate. Right here.
I'll drive.
I'll drop you off. Yeah. Open cell five, please.
It's a wild world.
Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild bird. Why aren't me and you scared or intimidated by this? By these people. Because we don't know if we're a fearful man.
on who we are.
survivors. It's not, is it? In the Warriors Code, there's no surrender. 99% of people would be scared in our situation. We put ourselves in jail for practice. Spirit cries never.
Deep in our souls, quiet and burr. No, it's you against you. It's the paradox that drives us all.
It's a battle of wills in the heat of this hell.
It's the passion that killed. Why do we just sing it? The victory is yours. You know what?
That's our ultimate victory. So forget that they made us a lot more famous. Forget that they galvanized our fan base. Forget that next year we're probably going to make more money than we would have ever made if they hadn't done this to us. Forget that everything that they've done has had the opposite effect.
The worst thing for these nerds,
Must be.
that they haven't upset us.
I mean, you could have at least upset me.
I'm fine, mate.
Little bit of jail, fuck you.
I heard an interesting story once. About heaven.
and hell.
a Korean man
He's a Christian his whole life. And he has a near-death experience where the Lord says to him,
I'm gonna show you
what awaits for you in hell. And I'm going to show to you
what awaits for you in heaven.
and they take him down to hell.
And hell?
is a pleasant room.
with banquets
of delicious food everywhere. But everybody in hell is starving. It turns out in hell, you can eat with chopsticks. The chopsticks are all six feet long.
If you touch the food with your hand, it disappears.
you need to use the chopsticks to get the food to your mouth.
These people are tormented, century after century.
through years of hunger and years of starvation.
And the Korean man looks around and says, yeah, hell is not the kind of place I want to be.
Maybe I should change my life. Lord, can you show me what awaits for me in heaven?
and the Lord takes it to heaven.
and it looks exactly the same as hell.
Big banquets of food. Well-lit room. Picturesque, beautiful. Just like hell looked.
But all the people are extremely well fed.
The Korean man asks God, he says, "Well,
Are the rules here the same as in hell? And God says, well, yes, of course.
The chopsticks are all six feet long.
And if you touch the food with your hands, it disappears immediately.
He then looked around and saw
All of the people in heaven were feeding one another
instead of trying to feed themselves.
I thought that was a very interesting story.
because it talks not about what hell or what heaven are but about the nature of people
and how life, even given the exact same circumstances,
can be made an eternal torment
or an eternal paradise.
all depending on the nature of people that you have around you. The only difference between heaven and hell in this case, the only difference
is that good people go to heaven.
and with the right people,
It's a paradise.
I heard that story years ago.
It's very profound. I think you could take a lot away from it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Are you asleep?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bye.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So to summarize my story.
the reason I'm thinking about it as I sit here reading Corinthians is because
jail wasn't that bad with you
I know you were asleep.
The jail was actually fine because me and you were in hell together.
*Dramatic music*
That's why they can put me back and I won't give a shit.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
Injustice happens every day.
25, 15 more. Let's do five, one, three, four, five, four, five, five, five, five, five,
Five, 10 more. 10 is easy. Last 10 down, Cal.
10 is easy.
Three.
Four. Six more.
Tristan's a loser.
noodles ball in a cup.
One, five more, noodles in a cup, come on. Noodles in a cup!
Thank you.
What?
Dude.
Breathe.
Four. Last one. Noodles in a cup.
Noodles in a fucking cup. Noodles in a cup and there's nothing you can fucking do about it for the rest of your life.
Cunt.
Pussy.
Fuck you.
Can't wait to be witch, keep the living fuck out of you, finally finish you off for good.
Piece of shit, thousand pushups.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Why can't I remember the first line for that song, White Snake? How does it start?
Should've known better.
Let's walk through.
Times like these, I can't make it on my own.
Wasted days and sleepless nights.
And I can't wait to see you again.
So I can hold you. No, that's the hook in the middle. Yeah.
I know.
Wasted all my time waiting on your call.
Times ID. No, no. It's some facts again. I hate to tell you, babe.
Hate to tell you, baby. Back's against the wall.
I need you by my side to tell me it's all right.
Cause I don't think I could take anymore. So I can hold you in my arms in this love. White Snake are fucking G's. White Snake are legends of the world. White Snake, if you know White Snake, or you're like the son or grandson of someone who sang or performed in White Snake,
You tell them that they're fucking heroes. This is the law.
The outside world has not forgotten us. The outside world has not forgotten us, have they? Almost every day this happens.
Amen.
Remember we exist as people inside of the jail. The jail men.
We've not forgotten Tristan, we can still save the world. So you're saying when we come out of this shit we're gonna be super famous and things we find? When we come out of this crap, we're gonna have the biggest platform on the planet.
Undisputably, we'll have the ability to shift culture in any direction we choose. So towards...
kindness and good and charity and God, yeah? Towards good and charity and kindness and God. Isn't that human trafficking? The people who are trying to put us in jail are safe places. They're safe places. They're evil people. They're evil people with no soul. Now that's what Jones called it, years ago.
And when we beat this Matrix attack, we will be poised to save an entire generation. And the fact that the outside world has not forgotten us proves that.
that they can't dampen our message.
What does V say? Bullets cannot kill an idea.
This is my point. None of this is accidental. It's all extremely deliberate.
Thank you.
and their goal
is more control. The goal is always more control.
Why are they doing anything?
The goal,
is always gonna be more controlled. The answer is always the same.
Why are they trying to save the planet from imaginary climate change? Why are they trying to save you and protect you from imaginary code?
Why are they trying to do any of the things they're trying to do?
It has nothing to do with the reason they say they are doing it. They are doing all of it.
for more control. That's all they want.
And when they have absolute and utter control,
when you are fully disarmed,
and you no longer have the capability to resist,
You have to sit and think, do you trust these people?
Thank you.
who have absolute sovereignty over your life to not be draconian and to not destroy elements
of your life that you enjoy once you no longer have the capability to resist and sleep.
Thank you.
Well, if you do, then you are a fool.
You're certainly naive.
Because once somebody cannot resist things,
The answer is always the same. It's either slavery or death.
Thank you.
Thank you.
and even the masculine spirit
which exists inside of all men,
Thank you.
the innate masculine spirit to rebel against the system and the machine.
which God has instilled inside of men to prevent tyranny.
is being dampened and attacked consciously.
because they want us all to be eunuched. They want men to be semi-depressed, watching porn, without enough motivation, physical strength, or mental fortitude to do anything about the enslavement, which is being
Well, about their own lives, first and foremost, because that's the underpinning.
If they're not gonna do anything about their own lives, then why would they care about the good society? - Correct. If you're too depressed and too sad,
to fix your own life? How can you fix anyone else's life or take care of a family or worry about your society? I'm the person said.
I know.
which is why things like depression are advertised and why
me helping men's mental health and telling men to not be depressed because depression isn't real is an act of rebellion against the matrix, which puts me as a target for punishment, because I'm genuinely helping men.
with the mental health crisis that they pretend they care about because they don't want you to be happy.
Because if you're happy, you're better equipped and they want you disarmed.
Completely and absolutely.
Thank you.
but I do feel like there's a shift in the culture coming and we have been a large part of that culture shift. We've made God cool again.
Thank you.
I do think that's good for the world. And I think that's exactly what the Western world needed.
Thank you.
I also think by teaching men to have standards for themselves by extension, like I just described, they're going to have standards for everyone around them and the societies they live in, which is going to make them less tolerant of insanity, which is good for the world. So the best way you can save the planet is by teaching men to have very high standards for their own capability.
by teaching men to have very high standards for their own competence.
I'm a man and I expect myself to be extremely strong and extremely rich and extremely smart, extremely connected, extremely funny, extremely charismatic, etc.
you view of all these standards for yourself and you work hard towards achieving them
you're gonna start to have standards for everyone around you. Which is super important. Which is super important because that's how you save society.
So men and their own personal work they do on themselves and their own personal struggles and their own wars.
is how society at large is fixed.
People say I'm misogynist, but they don't understand that for women to be truly happy, they need to have men they respect. And for women to be truly safe, they need to live in societies which are based on law and order. And for all of that to happen, you need to have men. Right.
of genuine competence and capability and standards.
So by increasing the capability of men and inspiring men to be the best versions of themselves, women are happier and safer and everything by extension. Women are happier and safer. That's right.
It would be misogynistic if we did the opposite thing and not care about female safety and try and convince men that being weak is fine.
because it's not fine, because there will always be a predator, and there will always be prey.
and to a degree it takes
a bad guy to stop a bad guy.
Let me hear a song.
That's all I remember. Oh, is that it? Oh, is that it? It's Akito.
It's so stupid like that. Yeah.
But you have to be a really ugly Spanish girl. We got the Akito in.
I have seven pushups left.
And now at the end of my incarceration.
Having dealt with all I've dealt with,
Well, let the viewers know,
Okay.
My Count of Monte Cristo,
Revenge plot comes full circle.
On the man who
who upset me, on the man who everything bad has happened in my life.
It's his fault.
I remember trying to rest, and this man did a thousand push-ups.
and started screaming about how noodles in a cup were superior to noodles in a bowl. Well,
I have seven push-ups remaining, my friend. One.
Two.
three, four, five, six, seven,
Eight. 1,001 push-ups.
Noodles are better in a bowl.
How does that make you feel?
I feel bad. Like a saber strength to the heart. I feel terrible. You should.
1001 pushups.
I could just do two push-ups. No, you can't, because I got you.
I got you now.
You did your personal a long while ago. Your time to shine is over.
The floor was mine, you officially handed over the push-up floor.
And I hand it back.
1001 push-ups.
Noodles are better involved.
And you're just gonna have to eat that up.
with a bowl.
Walk and lie, I do feel very sad.
You may have no legs. Give me a cigarette. You may have no head. Give me the cigarettes. I don't want to give you a man, I have no head. You have no head, give me the cigarettes. Say again? You have no head.
no face and there's a lighter there as well by the way ah you're lighter as well i mean i have no arms admit it i admit it
I could have thrown you an empty packet there and got you.
Under the chair.
On the lofetair.
Thank you.
Where are the cigarettes? I think they're over there. Tristan wants to have a smoke, so he said I have no legs.
Where are the cigarettes? They are under the chair. Under the chair. Under the chair. Tristan needs to smoke. Where are the cigarettes? Over there.
Matrix has attacked us, Justin. Yeah, yeah. I think everybody else.
They can't break our spirits. That's the only victory. That's the only victory. Strong spirit and God's health. Side by side. Remember what bullshit they come up with. We're gonna fuck it.
They're fucking, wait, they're fucking right. All I do is wait.
I'm having four hours in jail.
It doesn't matter what bullshit they come out with,
to you, no matter what, you and I are still going to be on the same fucking team. Doesn't matter what garbage they try, doesn't matter what they lie they tell, what they come up with, you and I are going to remain on the same fucking team. And as long as we're on the same team, the millions of young men will listen to us. You are not going to convince these people that I'm something I'm not. Because they have the power of reason, and the power of logic, and the power of being smart and listening to their own convictions. What is on our side? The truth is on our side. And in the end, the truth will set us free.
And this bullshit will damage the credibility of the Matrix even further, so they will struggle to damage the lives of men who don't deserve it. So we are suffering with reason. Their weapon is blunted on our armor. They think they're hitting us, they think they're striking us, but they come to swing this sword at someone else. When someone else worthy of respect comes out and says the things that you want to say, time to go.
Be there.
you guys thank you thank you gentlemen free to go please
Thank you.