Transcript
I've decided that GoldenEye, the movie GoldenEye, is my life story.
I've decided it's basically completely accurate.
someone steals a helicopter and I stop them and the bitch who tries to squeeze you to death with the thighs and me and the other bitch who was hot, who was in no other movie afterwards, who was the Bond girl, and me with a gun running around and
the treachery of 006 and blowing up trains. That's basically exactly what I do.
In the Tate Confidential, a train stopped, and I nearly had to get my laser watch and cut through it.
Exactly like Goldeneye, but I didn't. Instead, I cut a tree in half with my ninja kick. Long story.
So basically I've decided that GoldenEye is my life story.
And then I'm looking at most people's life story, most people who live, you know, like you dorks, who live your normal lives, and I decided that your life stories
are Forrest Gump.
Now I know you're thinking, "Oh, Forrest Gump, that's not too bad a choice actually, because I get to become a shrimp billionaire and do all these interesting things."
but no. Are you stupid or something? Forrest Gump is actually the story of a man
who
It's very interesting, if you watch Forrest Gump, I remember this specifically, because the beginning scene is a feather. And it's a feather flying through the wind in the air, and what they're trying to show with that feather is that
forest is to feather and that life has blown him in all these strange directions and he has no real control over the directions he kind of just
He's lucky and unlucky. He's fortunate and misfortunate and he just kind of his life is just
the result of being blown in all these random directions. And he doesn't actually have any influence over his life.
If you look at Goldeneye,
Bond makes things happen. That's who I am. I make shit happen.
You guys are just feathers in the wind. Do, do, do, do, do. You might land here and it's good, you might land here and it's bad. Who knows? Because you have no genuine
grit and no ability to
fight through
the outside life forces. But the reason
Forrest Gump is your life story. It's because Forrest Gump is the story of a man who falls in love with some bitch,
who runs off to be a hoe,
And then once he's a shrimp billionaire,
she comes back as a single mom with AIDS,
And he fucks her. And gets AIDS. That's the end. This is the unspoken ending of Forrest Gump. That bitch dies.
and it's him and its son at the end at the bus. "Oh, I'm gonna put you on the bus, son. It's supposed to be a happy ending." Anyone with a brain is actually sitting there thinking, "No, now Forrest is gonna die. Now he has AIDS."
and that's going to be an orphan kid.
What a sad story.
What a shit life. You finally become a shrimp billionaire and because you couldn't resist that used up pussy from the drug addict,
you've now got AIDS. You literally got AIDS. Not like it as in making heart, it will give you AIDS. Like actually you got them.
So Forrest Gump is the story of a man with no serious life control who fell in love with the hoe and the hoe ruins his life.
literally ruins life completely. So if my life is Goldeneye, your life is Forrest Gump.