Transcript
*music*
*Dramatic music*
So I was running from the guys, Tristan got the daddy coin, the women wanted the daddy coin so they were chasing us, but I'm now going to break the fourth wall. I'm Zach Morris. Time out!
Man, this is horrible. As we tried to run away, these whoopies kept crashing.
big deal ditch that bitch keep going another girl crashes out of my arm broke that bike now all the instructors are saying we need air ambulance now it's a fucking mess i've broken the fourth wall everything's ruined
I've heard the whole script's fucked. 'Cause women can't fucking drive. I told you! I fucking told you! Girls can't drive. Women can't drive. Girls can't drive. How are women allowed to drive? Women can't even park cars, G. Women can't drive. Everyone goes, "It's only ATVs. It's gonna be fine." Look at the fucking mess. Look at the chaos. They can't fucking drive. So now me and Tristan are gonna finish the film, getting away from the whoopies by ourselves. They're supposed to chase us to the bitter end, but they couldn't stay on the fucking bike.
I'm out.
*sad music*
So, we were supposed to hijack the daddy coin, run away. The girls were gonna get on bikes, chase us.
Get up here because they want the daddy coin.
And then once they get up here, see, we've set up a nice dinner for them in the mountains.
Ha ha ha, we win. Look, we're from Usulmol.
But of course women can't drive.
which we all knew,
but they proved it.
You know, there was once a time it was controversial, I used to say women can't drive.
So now, the only way we can continue with our movie is for me to completely break the fourth wall and explain what's happening behind the scenes. I'm Zack Morris.
And that Kelly slot's getting dick.
Kelly was hot, but it turns out Jessie was the really horror-y one, because when saved by the bell-ends, she did showgirls of our tits out.
I just wouldn't know what any of that means.
Jesse's a slot from Showgirls.
But it's a good movie. You should watch it.
And then Kelly...
took anal from Zack Morris. The point is this:
We had all this planned out.
And you know what?
Perhaps maybe I let the matrix get to me. I sent the trust in maybe 15 times.
But women can't drive ATVs. Tristan's like, yeah, they can't drive ATVs. But everyone's like, no, it's okay.
I was like, but Tristan,
"Women can't drive ATVs!" And they're like, "No, it's okay." And the girls are like, "I've driven them before! I can drive an ATV!"
And I'm like,
But Tristan,
Women can't drive ATVs and everyone's saying, "It's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine!"
And I was like, maybe.
Maybe I'm just old fashioned, maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm one of those old men, I'm becoming one of those old grandpas that thinks everything's weird, I'm like
"Women can't drive, but everyone seems to think that women can drive, and the world's moved on. Maybe I'm the problem."
Okay, here's your ATVs girls!
Five minutes and two crashes and two ambulance calls later, I was proved completely fucking right!
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? Why is it controversial I said this shit? Women can't fucking drive.
Now I have to sit up here and be Zack Morris and eat this food by myself.
We were supposed to be up here at Famoose and a Bunch of Bitches,
So because two hours to get up here, we're all dirty. The women would have never made it alive. We're gonna spend two more hours getting back home, and then we've got famoose the bitches in the hotel. That's a lot.
It's much nicer without them.
Maybe.
playing.
all along.