Transcript
*outro music*
It's been a while since it's done a tape.
speech.
I've lost to say, of course, but I've been busy in a corporate world, flying around in private jets, plumber around with AKs,
ARs in Ukraine.
Saving people from hostage situations, making millions of dollars.
driving around in sports cars
living the life you wish you had.
We don't have it.
It's not good enough.
Because you know what? The universe actually gives people exactly what they deserve.
university
has given you exactly what you deserve, not a penny more or a penny less.
If you deserve what I have, you'd have it. And you don't, because you're not as great as me. You've not been through what I've been through.
Anyway.
Let's get on subject.
without the ranting.
I was talking to somebody the other day, it's kind of on the subject actually, I was talking to somebody the other day.
I'm going to sit down. I'm going to do my tape speeches. And he was telling me, oh yeah, tape, I want to be rich, blah, blah, blah. Like every dude says, yeah, I'd love to live, you know, your life, driving the cars, blah, blah, blah.
I'm at the guy's house. I've actually known him for a long time. I've known him since school.
And we're sitting there chilling.
And I was there for about six hours.
And he's like, yeah, it'd be nice one day. Anyway, I'm hungry. You want something to eat? I was like, nah, I'm fine, bro.
So he gets his ass up.
It's a full grown man.
and he starts to cook himself something to eat.
Now I know you amateurs, as an amateur you think, "What's the problem?" You're at your friend's house making yourself some food.
But amateurs don't understand the world, because amateurs do not analyze the world.
as a professional,
which is what I am, I was analyzing the actions of said individual, and I completely understood why he will remain poor for eternity.
"You're sitting here telling me you're upset "that you're broke.
and you're going to spend
Time!
And everybody knows the age old adage, time is what?
- Money. - Money. That's right, time is money. You're gonna spend time
preparing food?
Now actually think about this for a second.
If you're broke, if you're not a millionaire, the last thing you should be doing with your time is cooking.
I can't think of a lower ROI activity
Then walking to the fridge, getting out some ingredients. Ooh, an onion. Oh, let me get the onion. I'm going to start cooking.
fridge, an onion and some lettuce.
Thank you.
Now get a mic.
Get my knife, cut my onion, it's time to cut my onion.
You're broke! You're fucking poor! You can order, you can get rotisserie chicken for five bucks. Boom! Chicken, bang, eat, bang, back to work.
You can fucking do a million things. You can go for a run. You can get in shape. The time you spent cooking, if you dedicated to kickboxing, you could have got paid from kickboxing. Or piano. You could fucking be a traveling piano man with the time you've wasted cutting fucking onions.
If you're broke, there is zero reason why you should ever prepare me.
If you're a multi-millionaire and you're a boring one, you're not a fun one like me, you have to pay cigars and big keys and fast cars. If you're one of the really boring ones and you have all the time in the world because you're rich and you want to cook, sure, waste your time.
Right? But if you're not a multimillionaire, your time is extremely important as a man. That needs to be dedicated towards world conquest.
There's no need to prepare food.
either order some food,
which can be done very cheaply and very healthily, your rotisserie chicken and a bag of salad for like four bucks. Back, done. Or instruct a female to provide sustenance.
Cook!
and get back to World Conquest, you have better things to do. So I'm sitting there, and my friend's cooking his meal, and I start telling him, you're a jackass, you're going to be poor forever.
What do you mean?
Because you're cooking. So everyone cooks. Everyone's broke. It doesn't have to prove me right.
That proves me totally right. I can't think of anything more stupid for a man to do. So I want you to ask yourself this question.
Are you broke? Yes. Do you cook? Probably. Do you not see the problem here?
That is a complete waste of your human time.
The cooking, the preparation, the cleaning up afterwards. You're going to do this three times a day?
The fuck is wrong with you?
So this became my new world view and I'm going around telling everybody.
You're broke, you cook, you're a jackass. Oh, you ain't got Lambo? I bet you cook food, don't you, bro? Boom, boom, boom.
Some fucking dork takes a bunch of steroids and he's a tough guy.
Yeah, but you know what? A real man cooks the real steak. You know, when I cook my steak, I can do it like a real man. Do it.
You know what a real man does? A real man gets in the cage. A real man becomes a four-time kickbosser world champion. A real man has 13 million dollars. A real man has 17 supercars. A real man has a corporate portfolio.
real man has the police chief of the city he lives in on fucking speed dial. That's what a real man does. A real man doesn't sit in his fucking broke ass house with his ugly ass wife.
Cooking steak.
That's bullshit. You think you're a real man because you managed to cook a steak. That is a cop out. That is the ultimate...
Symbol of failure if you're gonna say that your credentials for masculinity are putting meat on a fucking stove. Do you know how I cook a steak as a real man? I instruct one of my seven girlfriends. Meat. Now.
Boom, it turns up perfect. Tabasco on the side. Nice glass of ice war. I ain't gonna do shit. That's not how a real man cooks a steak.
If you think cooking is important or manly, or if it's a good tough way to waste your time, a good past time, or even if you're sitting there going, "Whoa, I need to eat, so I'll just cook," you do not understand.
the true link between
Genuine focus.
on an objective.
and success.
Because I promise you, when I was broke,
I didn't have time to cook.
I was too busy learning how to get fucking rich.
you