Transcript
Tate, can you please explain exactly how to get over a breakup? I just went through a major breakup and you have never explicitly
spoken about
the topic. Sure. I'll talk about it. First things first is that
Going through a breakup sucks. And every single man out here, no matter what they say, understands how bad it is to go through a breakup and understands what heartbreak's like. It's difficult. It's not easy. I'd actually like to argue that men feel more heartbroken than women. I think that's true. I think it's true. And I think it's because one of the possessive element that we have, the idea of her being with someone else hurts more than the idea of you being with someone else to her. And secondly, because you have a lot less options than she has instantly. So I think that breakups are worse for men than they are for women.
however unfortunately the unfortunate reality is that chasing her and and being dedicated to her and saying you're gonna do whatever she wants etc is very unlikely to work when i get a message from whoever and he goes my wife left me i'm devastated i say i understand i completely understand how hard it can be to lose a woman that you've given your entire life to and you've been done so many nice things and then because of one thing you did her innate and absolutely insane level of ungratefulness
talks to you like she hates you over one thing you've done after thousands of efforts showing how dedicated you are to her and even now that you're prepared to die for her she doesn't give a shit about you i understand that pain but my answer is good it's still good when bad things happen to me i just you love it yeah i kind of enjoy it and i think that maybe it's perhaps i just enjoy it for the story perhaps my whole life is not about trying to find comfort it's trying to
is trying to find stories. I'll be very honest with you. Even in jail, my brother and I kept saying this is probably the best story, one of our best ever stories. That's what life is about to me. And if you were to say to me right now, Andrew, do you want to spend a year living in comfort and flying around the world and sleeping with girls and doing whatever? Or do you want to spend a year in a jail in Mongolia? I'd probably choose the jail. Maybe I'm a sadist. Maybe I'm nuts. But for me, it's all about the challenges. It's not about the comforts. That's what I'm
in and I want to have stories to die with. Life, the purpose of it is to learn and it is to struggle and it is to suffer and I don't think that we are put on the planet to be happy. I actually genuinely believe we are put on the planet to learn things and to struggle and to genuinely suffer. I think that life is suffering. I'm not saying this in a negative way. I think that if you want to be any kind of man of caliber, your life needs to be full of suffering. If you don't have that story of pain, you don't have a story at all. It's just the way the world works. You're not going to be a credible
problems in your past. If you wake up and you're born as a man and everything goes exactly to the way you want it to, and everything's nice and easy, nobody's going to respect you. And you're not even going to be happy yourself. I believe that also the masculine imperative not only is to give, like we said earlier, but it is to overcome struggle. We look at struggles and we look at problems and we want to overcome them. When you're truly heartbroken, you can't even sleep.
And your mind is constantly preoccupied. And instead of seeing that as a negative, what you need to do is use that as a source of unlimited power. If I was truly heartbroken today, let's imagine, and I could barely sleep, I'd be in better shape than I've ever been. I'd train like a fucking animal. You have to just take the energy inside of you. Energy cannot be destroyed. It can only be converted. Whether it's heat into light or momentum into friction or whatever, however you want to put it, right? Energy cannot be destroyed.
another. And you have to look at that and understand that the sadness inside of you is energy. You can't destroy it, but you can convert it into something else, which is constructive. And you just have to suck it up by our cup and get over it. And there's no other way to do it. And obviously having abundance of women makes that easier, but I wouldn't even put it that way. I'd say if you were with a woman and you lost her and you're now lonely and she's going to be moving on and you're absolutely heartbroken and you're destroyed inside, I understand how difficult that is. But now you have genuine sadness inside of you, which is unlimited motivation for you to become a fucking beast, become an animal. And by the time you're finished becoming an animal,
So if you really want to cure yourself, you just say, I'm going to get a six pack and I'm going to get bigger arms. And by the time my arms are this size and I have a six pack, then I'm going to think about that bitch. And you'll realize you don't give a shit about her anymore. Think about the biggest transformative stages in your life. Think about the times you got the most work done. It was a bad part of your life. You were heartbroken or, you know, you lost a house or broke or whatever. That's when you did shit. When everything was fine, when the woman's still sucking dick, the mortgage is paid, dinner's on time.
to doop-dee-doop-dee-doo, little by little, do a little bit of work, do a little bit of relax. But the big events come from trauma. This is it. So it's a cheat code. It's a cheat code to climb the mountain. Anything in the world that makes you happy that you currently have, whether it's a person, whether it's a job, whether it's a scenario, whatever it is, also has the exact inverse capability to make you extremely angry. So you have to accept this about life. You're quite detached,
at the same time you're okay with letting go. Well, that's because I think I have confidence in myself to get it all back. And that's also because I have quite a lot of emotional control. Adult happiness for me is just a lack of absolute sorrow. Like, there's no such thing as cold. There's only a lack of heat. Scientifically, cold doesn't exist. Heat exists and a lack of heat creates cold. Well, I think it's the same thing with happiness. There's no such thing as happiness.
and I'm really devastated, if my family members haven't died, if I'm not bawling my eyes out, if I'm not really struggling, then I'm a happy person because I'm not completely sorrow-filled. I think a lot of people are somewhere in the middle, and they think because they're not at that giddy, childish happiness, there's something wrong with them. No grown-up adult is supposed to live in the fucking absolute peak of life's great, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy. No one's supposed to live
something wrong with you. That's not true. We're human beings. It's perfectly normal to wake up and be pissed off and be sad or be this or be that. There's nothing wrong with it. The only thing that's wrong with it is to sit there and believe that you need to start taking a pill to fix it. Life as a man is pretty shit and you're going to feel shit for a pretty large percentage of the time. But you're only going to ever escape that if you just perform regardless. You have to perform when you feel bad. As a man, you can't say, I will perform when I feel good. It doesn't work that way because our heads are too complicated and life's too complicated. There's
shoulders and we have too much stress and too much pressure our heads are fucked you have to be the kind of person who says i perform regardless her revenge on you is instant her revenge on you is running getting on a boat and fucking five guys and going out to party and you're sitting at home alone her revenge is instant your revenge takes a little bit longer but it's it but it is a but it is a better revenge overall it takes like all good things in life good things come to those who wait good things don't come instantly your revenge is going to be using that sadness using that
Every single one of my exes realizes they fucked up. There's not a single person who's close to me whose life would be better if I wasn't in it. Every single one of my exes looks and goes, I wish I had top G still now. I just text my boyfriend my problems. He can't fix them, but Andrew fucking poop. I'm sitting here on economy, takes on his jet. I fucked up. And so if you get to take that sadness and sorrow and truly become the man that you know you can become, then your victory comes. It's maybe a little bit delayed, but it's certainly not least coming. And you should be excited by that.
there will be a day where she understands that she fucked up and her life would have been better if she kept me and I'm going to prove it to her. If you were to find the best men on the planet, I guarantee they've been through a bunch of terrible things. And if you listen to podcasts from any of the most interesting people on the planet, usually they've been through, they've had hard, terrible lives. And you can use that trauma to become a better person or you can let that trauma consume you and destroy you. But I thank God for all of it because
If you're truly angry or truly unhappy, then you can't sleep. And if you can't sleep, then you get twice as many hours as everybody else.