0:00.53*music*

0:08.04.

0:13.82Merry Christmas.

0:15.77You know the thing I love about holidays?

0:18.15whether it's your birthday, Christmas, New Year's,

0:20.82One of the best things about holidays

0:23.07is spending time with your loved ones.

0:26.10But probably...

0:27.72That is second to the truly best thing about holidays.

0:32.07"which is etching in stone,

0:35.20The permanent passage of time as you march towards an inevitable death.

0:40.17Don't you remember last Christmas? It was yesterday.

0:43.54Remember the Christmas message I filmed where I called you all broke?

0:46.95That was like five years ago. You remember watching that? You wake up when the alarm goes off.

0:54.45You go to your job.

0:58.23Sorry.

1:02.75My balls to the plane. Okay, you got your job.

1:09.75And you watched it and you laughed. Ha ha ha. And guess what?

1:14.67You're still a wagee. Still! Quite remarkable, really. It's almost impressive how monumentally you fail. Remember when I got arrested? That was three years ago.

1:24.53Isn't it funny?

1:26.37How quickly life passes us by. And on something like Christmas, when everyone's sitting there eating turkey, stuffing their fucking stupid faces,

1:33.03I sit and think,

1:34.40Last Christmas was yesterday. I only have like 50 of these left.

1:40.38I don't know if that crosses your mind.

1:42.28Hopefully it'll start to. Hopefully, every single time there's a major event, especially one that happens once a year because it's really easy for you to record in your mind.

1:51.00Instead of just enjoying it, you sit there slightly depressed, realizing that you're going to be dead soon.

1:58.21Ew.

1:59.67Everyone you love will die first.

2:03.42Merry Christmas.

2:04.92It's one of the two.

2:07.45And then when you die, you have to sit and think, well, how long will you really be discussed? Think of all the people who died this year.

2:13.71Who was that guy who died?

2:15.21Liam Payne? Was that his name? Liam Payne?

2:17.52He was in one of the most famous bands in the world. Dipshit jumped off a fucking ledge high on drugs.

2:23.34That was news for about...

2:25.67four minutes. Imagine how much no one's gonna give a fuck about you!

2:31.18I mean, at least when I die, there'll be all the haters happy and the other people supporting me and there'll be this big conversation.

2:37.23I'll be in the grave, chilling, laughing, the final troll.

2:42.30I mean, maybe your family will remember it a bit.

2:45.63But only if you got them good Christmas presents. If the presents you got your family today suck...

2:51.88Thank you.

2:53.34Should've got rich.

2:54.90- Thank you.

2:56.27So this is probably a conversation for New Year's where we talk about the inevitable passage of time and what have you really achieved this year?

3:03.09Is your life going to look any different next year than it did last year? And then you sit down and go, yeah, this year I'm going to do it.

3:11.22and you fail for your entire family, everyone who loves you, everyone who ever relied on you is, of course, disappointed.

3:18.24But I guess they're just used to it by now.

3:22.09But when Christmases come, you know, I think back to my earliest Christmas.

3:26.58And even that doesn't feel so long ago.

3:30.60I guess the message here is twofold, because there is no light without dark.

3:34.95We're all gonna die and time is running out. Which means you may as well, to the best of your ability, enjoy Christmas.

3:43.58but also inversely and concurrently

3:47.07We're all going to die and time's running out and Christmas doesn't matter at all. It's just another fucking stupid day.

3:55.62I was thinking.

3:59.89*clap*

4:16.47Because I already gave away a Lambo and loads of money and loads of nice things this year.

4:16.80I was thinking of doing a huge Christmas giveaway.

4:20.10I was planning on pairing it with DaddyCoin in the real world, of course.

4:23.79Make a marketing stunt, a million dollars, give it away,

4:28.17But I already give away so much money to tatepledge.com. Tristan gives away $50,000 a month randomly on Twitter to GoFundMes. You can see it all. We give away so much money,

4:39.15And I was saying to my cousin,

4:41.78who's actually Tristan's cousin.

4:43.99Should have gave away loads of money this year. He said, no, these people don't deserve it.

4:47.52They're just gonna take it, and then when the news calls you a human trafficker, they're just gonna believe him again. They face several allegations, including rape and human trafficking.

4:55.53They're not gonna try, they're gonna stay broke because they're lazy, you're gonna give them money, they're gonna spend it, and they're gonna go back to just looking for handouts because they're lazy pieces of shit. And when you were in jail, nobody really gave a fuck about you. So why are you such a nice guy?

5:08.55And I thought,

5:10.86That's not very Christmassy.

5:14.07I mean, it may be true.

5:15.90Most people do deserve the life they lived. Most people haven't tried hard enough to have anything else.

5:21.78I agree with you.

5:23.24Most people who are now my fan didn't give a shit as I suffered in jail. I agree with you. Most people are insignificant and lazy and can't try hard and if I give them a million dollars they'll be broke again next week anyway.

5:31.95I agree with you.

5:33.06Most people don't appreciate all the money I've given away. Nobody talks about the fact that I give money to tapepledge.com and you can track it all and it's all there every single month.

5:40.11$25 million a year. Tristan gives $50,000 a month to GoFundMes. Gave away a Lambo. I gave away all this money and everyone's still crying their eyes out.

5:47.83saying I said a bad thing on the internet 10 years ago. I'll say a bad thing on the internet right fucking now.

5:52.41for Christmas.

5:53.46I'll say it right fucking now.

5:55.01Think I've changed?

5:58.27You think I'm part-time.

6:02.81But being a bad man is a full-time job.

6:05.40No sick days.

6:06.93No holiday.

6:09.41So now I'm stuck in this conundrum.

6:12.48With the people around me saying I'm too nice a man. It's the story of my life.

6:17.76I'm trying to be nice, and I was like, Andrew, you're already too nice.

6:21.54So I decided to film this video

6:23.82I'm going to put it on Twitter.

6:26.01And if he gets 25,000 retweets,

6:29.75I'll do a Christmas giveaway.

6:31.56Because then I'll have something tangible. I can go to the people and say, look, they do care.

6:36.69They do love Top G

6:38.37They do know I'm innocent. They are in the Christmas spirit. Let's give some money away.

6:42.52And if it doesn't reach that, then I guess we're just going to have to

6:47.03sit at home with our families,

6:49.05smiles our beautiful children open presents,

6:51.99while remembering in the back of our minds that soon we're all going to be dead.

6:55.59and no one's going to remember us anymore.

6:58.41Thank you.

7:05.11Merry Christmas.