Transcript
They closed the city's airspace following a developing regional security situation. Flights are being diverted or delayed as officials coordinate with aviation authorities to ensure... Flying go warzone. Going home. Fortune favors the brain, my friend. Not a little bitch like you. Are you one of those avoid warzone guys? Yeah. You're not one of those are you? Kind of, yeah. So gay. Something's fucking gay, bro. What are you gonna be avoiding warzones for?
I'm with you.
It doesn't seem like the wise thing to do, guys. Of course it does. There's less traffic and we can get more work done. True. What do you think of this? How can you get work done if there's no one in Dubai to do work with?
What if you get trapped there and you can't travel and work? What if you get stuck there? Because besides the cameraman, I roll with real niggers so my whole team
is touching down somehow. Converging. Dubai has been good to us and we're loyal guys. So for that reason, because everyone is slandering our city on the internet, we're going to go there.
to our city and fly the flag of "It's Fine, Kiss My Ass" and that means "Jumping Borders" and "Dodging Ordnance".
I know Aikido.
You never dodged a drone before? Call yourself a man? So, what was your plan?
We're at the airport. First flight at three. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, no. One sec, one sec. Sorry. Heavy. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, no, no, no. We're good. We're good. Sorry. Pulse alarm. We're good. Everything's under control, Andrew. Three flights. I thought it was only two.
Three flights. What are the three? I actually don't know.
Go.
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Get to the desert. Get on the dirt bikes.
What are you wearing? It's COVID. It's not COVID. Are you more scared of drones or COVID?
definitely more scared of drones i'm not scared of code i wear a mask did you get a road snack cheesecake strawberry caramel ask chat gpt if anybody has eaten a cheesecake with pistachio and been blown up by an iranian drone because the answer is no when you eat this i have 100 survival rate all right guys we're doing it against my better judgment but it is what it is why is this against your judgment we're going into an active war zone there's missiles there's bombs when did
what do you think a missile could do kill you i'm going to my house i'm going to my house and it was gonna stop me what's the problem let's go some big problem pissy pants pampers must be making a fortune first world problems
quantum immortality john mcafee once wrote you're not quantumly immortal he put five bullets in a six cylinder gun span it and fired it against his head and span it fired against his head again a hundred times in a row because he's the version that doesn't die that's me plot armor quantumly immortal we maximize the plot and god gives us armor that's why we're going into an active war zone main main character never dies for little to no reason because we do have other houses oh
Wham? Greeny Red Bull. Here you go. I ran. Perfect for you. I would like a Capri Sun. Oh shit.
I crossed the line. I crossed the line. I had it.
Listen, let me see it.
Life is not for the weak and it's not for the lazy and it's definitely not for those who are content with meteorocracy. Life is for the warrior.
the champions, the ones who are ready to push their limits and achieve greatness. You need to understand that if you want to get to the top, you're going to need a team. You're going to need a brotherhood. You need people who are going to push you, challenge you, demand the absolute best from you because that's what winners do. They demand the best, not just from themselves, but from everybody around them. Here inside of the real world, you're not just some lone wolf. You're part of a pack. You're part of a team that's committed to excellence. And that commitment is not just about you. Because when one of you wins, you all win. When one of you grows, you all win.
We don't settle for less and we don't let our brothers settle for less either. We hold each other accountable, we support each other, we celebrate our victories together. A community of people who already succeeded, so they're gonna help you succeed too. They tell me that I was out of shape, broke, just to call me out. That's what I needed, it's a real world set solution. Every day we log in, we have people to look for and people need their answers, so we're there, we're helping them. Inside the real world, there's nothing negative, it's all positive and you just gotta put it in the work.
and your teammates to the absolute limits of masculine excellence because that's what it takes.
What are you buying? Supplies. As you know, I'm an outdoor survival expert, trained in desert traditions. What are you doing at your first? I don't think you're supposed to drink beer in a desert. I'm thirsty and a cold one. You have a cold one, yeah. I got cigars. Keep your mind focused.
Cure family size. Family size. Aw, thanks. We're family. That means I can have some. That's right. If you cross the desert, we'll always have something to smoke. I don't drink. I do have an ounce. We'll dehydrate first. How long is the journey? Who knows? As long as it takes.
Shisha, of course it's not gay. Shisha is not gay. Hey, can I have a pineapple ice shisha, please?
gay as f**k. James Bond smokes cigars and cigarettes. You have all the time in the world on the next eight hour drive to enjoy a cigar and you're going to smoke a f**king little gay-ass cigarette. No she shall love and f**k can give you a size cigarette. She shall, she shall is not as gay as cigarettes. Bro, there's pine, it's pineapples. Who gives him pineapples with? Listen, bro, she shall, what's he called? He's got butt. Let's go. He's got backwood. Let's f**king go. Now we're talking. What's a backwood?
Listen, cigars are for real men, shisha's smoked by suicide bombers, cigarettes are smoked by fucking girls.
Slim ones are. I'll give you that.
The slims were an accident, apparently. Cigarettes in general are gay. Andrew, I think shisha's the gayest way of smoking that possibly exists, and I never criticize her. Anytime anyone opens a cigarette. These are not gay. Thank you. Anytime anyone likes a cigarette, Andrew says, I'm going to be gay. He does the gayest form of smoking besides vapors. Let me prove a point. I'm going to prove a point. Ready?
- No? - Yeah. - Two gay guys go out to smoke. They're smoking shisha. - They're smoking sugar effort. - Nah, they're smoking shisha. Two gays. Can we go to the hookah bar? Bro, 100%. - We should actually have a poll with a scare. I really, truly believe and know the cigarettes are gay. - Bro, shisha's gay. - And then you're gonna say I don't care what the internet thinks, because everyone knows sitting there huffing on a big fucking pineapple with flowers coming out.
with coconut ice flavor and smoke in your lungs is gayer than fucking cigarettes. Men have been smoking cigarettes since the fucking 50s when we used to fucking work in factories. There's no alternative to Shisha. And beat their wives. There is an alternative to cigarettes, which is cigars. Everything's an alternative to Shisha. If at the beginning of our brand, if at the very beginning of our brand when we first became famous online, if we weren't both smoking cigars and we were smoking cigarettes instead, I think it might have actually stopped us even becoming anything ever. Like, who are these fucking retards? Cigarettes suck. Shisha's much gayer.
That was cool. You know, I don't even criticize your shisha. Any time anyone likes a cigarette around Andrew-- ,, he's engaged in the gayest form of smoking. If you want to start the let's-- what gay forms of smoking argument, shisha is by far the gayest. Let's run it. Bring it on. Every time I smoke shisha, complain. I won't. You're a full-grown man. Cigarettes suck. I don't want to smoke a fucking cigarette. We've got fucking 100 cigars right here. I'm smoking both, by the way.
I don't see you smoking a cigar. You're afraid. That's my problem, Tristan. I don't like seeing my brother be a fucking coward. You've chosen the weakest form of smoking, like a fucking coward. Let me have a cigarette, and let me have a sin. I don't want to get smoke in my lungs. How fucking faggot. Let me get my nicotine without smoke. The gayest bullshit I've ever seen. Be a fucking man. I want as much smoke as humanly possible. And the way you do that is to take a pineapple and a grass pipe. Correct. And some ice cubes. Correct. And some vanilla flavoring.
maximum smoke levels. You're taking the easy way out. You're a coward.
We're 10 minutes into this road. It's not I ran, this is ran I. Yeah, I ran. Read it backwards. I know. Exactly, I ran. So to make sure they don't drone strike us, I'm going to drink their national drink. Ran I is not. In fact, it doesn't stop them drone strike.
It just makes you immune to their drones. Would you like a sip? I'm good. Thank you. No, no, no, seriously. When the drone hits, you're not going to have any of this in your blood and you're finished. Wait, wait, wait, let me see, let me see. I mean, I know you're going to try to take it from me. I have to have my sip first. Give me a sip. I need a good sip. Now I'm drone proof. Is it a flavor explosion?
The bomb.
Have some Iran. Quit droning on and on about this drink.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Read it out. What's it called?
Iran. Exactly. He's dyslexic. He actually is. I know. That's the term. Iran. Drone resistance.
Would you like some? Thank you. I ran drink on my I ran song. This is the national song of Iran. It's their national anthem. Did you know that? And I ran, I ran so far away. And I ran, I'm waiting for my living day. I had to get away.
I'm getting it. We're living. What did America say? Right now there's a national, there's a, there's a American alert to all citizens to get out off the Middle East. And we've flown into a random spot in the Middle East to drive to the hot spot in the Middle East.
Cool, we have the bags in here. I just want to see them go in. Okay, two different car rides. Now we've got a long bus ride ahead of us. Are you ready for the bus? I'm always ready for the bus. Look, I used to be on bus level. Number 10, Marsh Farm to Town Center. Number 10 to Marsh Farm, Newtonian bus. What do you know about that? Nothing. We're bus champions.
Go Crash!
Two and a half hours we'd be sat here. In the mountains. Ate all my M &Ms. Ran out of emergency supplies.
Some kind of war.
Some kind of war problem. Something about borders, refugees, visas, laws. Some kind of war crap.
on top of cars driving by. We have heard loud bangs. Two and a half hours of stuff. Any smokes?
Got any Iran drinks? No. Can't put on your Kazakh hat.
Road board. Why have I been in Kazakhstan?
This hat isn't about Kazakhstan. It's about being a road board. Why have we been stuck here for 2.5 hours? Because that's the nature of the game. You know what? Genuinely, I forgot what being a normal person is like.
have patience. I forgot about that.
because you know I get like straight on the jet straight off the jet mr. Tate right to the front VIP I totally forgot the normal people have to wait for their lines and shit lines we've been waiting all day how do you get anything done I don't have to wait for anything they give me what I want right away
They're waiting for me. They treat me better than they treat anyone else.
All the service, if a location has X amount of service, all the service goes to me and everyone else has to share a fraction of my leftovers. They share the breadcrumbs as I enjoy the feast of service because I'm a globally renowned A-list celebrity. But on this particular adventure, I'm like a normal man, like a normal guy. I like it.
shit and i forgot how spoiled i am i cannot wait to get back to the private jet terminal and then hand me a cigar and say mr take your jets ready get straight on the plane because even the other people who fly private you're not a celebrity you may have money you're not the top of you i'm the most loved man alive so it's like i've got the best human experience ever i've got the best life ever everyone loves me my life's fantastic i live on t-bone steaks and now i'm being forced
I should say is that I don't mind doing a shit sandwich. You know, it's actually a good thing to do a shit sandwich sometimes to go back to being grateful. Now fuck all that. Hi guys. We're waiting for the bus. We're on the bus. We're on the bus. Yes, bro. I'm on the bus. Yeah. I'm trying to get back to Dubai. I'm on the bus. Well, we didn't bring a car. We flew here and now we're going to take this bus across the border.
Thank you, Jake. Thank you, bro.
Celebrity status. At least the police ain't arrested. They didn't recognition. At least the cults ain't arrested me. Anyway. So I'm eating crackers in some kind of detention center thing. Everyone had to x-ray their cases on the bus.
Everyone had to get off the bus, get all their suitcases off the bus. It takes hours. X-ray everything for bombs. Everyone was getting off the bus and finding their suitcases. There was a huge line. So I just sat on the bus. Ignored the line, waiting for the entire line to go down. I just sat on the bus.
I was trying to avoid this check. So now I'm going through some advanced check where they're scanning my body for digested bombs and they've taken both my passports and they're going through all my things and they're swabbing everything down and they're questioning me and going through my entire history. I'm in some terrorist detention center for some terrorist check. All because when everyone got off the bus and stood in the line, I waited on the bus for the line to get smaller because I didn't see the point standing in the desert. So now I'm detained. But I have
Welcome to the Middle East. I guess tensions are high for some reason. I'm like, do you know who I am? One of the guys goes, no. The other guy goes, yeah, I know who you are. I'm like, why are you detaining me? Well, but you stayed on the bus. It's suspicious. I'm like, bro, do you think I'm a fucking terrorist? Jesus Christ.
That was fun. I ran into Supercop, who decided that I was a terrorist for some reason.
So now, time to cross the border, huh? Time to get home. You got a body behind you who wants to cross it too.
*Squeak*
We made it. I slept in three days, bro.
Let's go home.
in the war zone. If I could save time in a bottle, there's one thing that I'd like to do. I'd save every day until eternity passes away just to spend them with you. I don't understand.
If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty except for the memory of how they were granted.
Right here.
I'm too tired for this. You're too tired for this.
We haven't eaten, we haven't slept.
Need to be refreshed.
Oh no.
And I ran, I ran so far away. Home sweet home.
You know, we're back with Warzone. Pretty nice Warzone. We've been in Warzone. Iraq was worse than this. Nice there.
So, SSP.
Come on.
No