Transcript
Oh
Oh
I'm going to go.
Thank you.
-
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
- Thank you.
No.
Thank you.
Okay.
Thank you.
Go, go, go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh.
um
Oh.
Amen.
- Nice, real nice.
-
Thank you.
I'd rather make dressed in my typical suit.
So we're a Christmas stack.
- What? - Resistance leg by T-shirt.
of course
By now I can't let you. British slippers.
That's how I work.
- Thank you.
All right.
So obviously playing poker, I decide to lose first on purpose.
and actually the super chance. So I lost my own purpose, the purposeful decision,
that I'm in, to make sure I have time to exercise.
I'm going to go to the next one.
You know, when you step up for real money, and you never win, and now you're going to play for money.
Thank you.
Don't my fucking gigabyte away.
What do you say to me? You don't need peanut butter. You don't need peanut butter to wash the peanut butter. Yes you do.
Yes you do. Yes you do. You're talking about a lot of law.
to farm.
I'm here.
How will I get out?
What is it?
Thank you.
- Come on, come on, come on.
So let me talk about this. - Yes. - Forever. Come on, Bob. - Keep going. - I'm gonna stop fighting.
- Nice and early.
Thank you.
to win so i've talked to our
a lot of things for tomorrow as well.
I'm going to leave it all behind you.
Thank you.
Everyone knows that I love Christmas. I want some of the spirit for Christmas. I remember last year of Christmas when I took the Christmas tree over.
That was just my over excitement.
- Go, go, go!
As you can see the house is Christmas live up. It's a Christmas tree that reaches my city, not the one I see.
Show the epic sized white tree.
And the sun will be so bright.
- Two years of golf sound as shit, apparently.
-
No, the casino is not harangue. Shut the fuck up. Ventil is harangue. We're not paying for real money, therefore this is not gambling.
Thanks, Alex.
-
Thank you.
You all go, I'm browsed up on my arm. And you make a cry by the other ear.
Stonewall.
Let's go in the pool.
Oh, I have to like it.
Nope.
almost rolling them up.
- Thank you.
I don't like some chest of this.
Check this out, they sell premium cars, they're only going to read their
They want me to read that website after they sell cars.
and they paid $10 to sort of chat, and they wanted to say,
Hey guys, yo this is me Super Chat. Check out I sell Dorky Dairy Freshers.com
- What happened?
- What we do for free, we ask you nice.
- Nobody cares.
Thank you.
I don't care.
- No, sir cares.
Thank you.
And everybody arrived.
Thank you.
So, thank you.
Thank you.
Nice, very nice.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
- Yeah, nice, good, good.
Okay.
-
- Three. - Oh shit. - Nine, ten, ten, ten.
Yeah, cool. Welcome back.
- Why is this all good? - You're the lucky as guys. - Somebody who can run the lucky as guys?
Tristan, he's done this about 50 times. Whenever you show down the baby, he wins. He's lucky.
If you're lucky, you're faster. No scale, no lots. It's called laser vision. It could be laser vision, but it's...
If you penetrate the whole bat, then you can just
because you can count who's gonna get what.
My cost is 14 dollars per game.
-
- You can't play my stage. - Tristan's mine. - You can't play any football.
That's for real money.
If you are one
Good morning.
*laughs*
4 plus 3, I'll go back to the project.
Thank you.
I can decorate my house the way I want, I'm a Christian. And also these hats and those sweaters are something to do with Christianity or Islam. It's just shopping.
It's a fucking reindeer.
to the online board sectors.
Thank you.
That's what I stopped doing before it works. So I cracked my input in the name of the fight. These streets are all high flush streets.
Now we're talking super chats. I'm watching this while stocking up the beer cooler at work. Should I crack one open in the name of the fight against a witness? Yes, Mark.
That is a good super chat. Crack a beer open in the name of the fight against the globalists. I hope that you stay stuck in beer court. It's like a super market.
You'll be cooler then.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
17th I broke up to pregnant and then my first child ever even to boy, any advice on
Being a father.
Yeah, don't be a little bitch. Don't remember my name. Don't remember my name is a little bitch-ass kid. He's a little bitch-ass punk himself. He's a little bitch-ass child crying his eyes out. Don't do me too. Who cares? No teams. So don't be a little bitch-ass punk. He said man art. So be the man and if you are a man, you're a good man. I'll put you back. By extension.
being a dad is setting an example.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
-
I go!
I play the next round, but I can choose 100 cards.
- Bye.
Each hand, you guys can play, but I need to pick my cards. The two of my hands can see what they are, and you guys have to do that.
- Cheers.
Sure. Sure.
sounds
Thanks.
- Okay.
- All right.
Thank you.
That's right. I thought you had the question.
So I didn't bet more.
200, 400 please.
Let's play imaginary poker. Hear me out.
The dealer deals without the cards in his hand, just makes the motions, and we just pick them. Invent what we have. We invent what we have and what's on the flop.
What if we disagree with us in the middle?
Boxing?
The dealer picks what's in the middle?
and we pick what we have,
But then we'll just pick winning hands.
- Huh.
Thank you.
In fact, you're so shit poker, you'd probably pick a loser than a half.
Thank you.
Or we pick before the dealer picks what cards we're limited.
I have a feeling I'll get pocket aces.
- For four. - For ace king suited.
I want everyone to know that the secret to my wealth is I'm actually an elf for Santa.
That is true. I'm a disadvantaged person of color.
who come from the south side of Chicago, then moved to Luton, England, grew up in a council estate, the single mother household. So if you know any liberals at home, feel free to buy them a gift from topg.com because they love to support...
people of color from disenfranchised
areas and disadvantaged beginnings. So feel free to get all of your liberal aunts and uncles top G gear. They'll be really happy about it.
That is true. Everyone wants top G gear for Christmas.
Sure.
Yeah, Alex, I just saw a motorcycle. That might be that thing I told you to get.
Yeah, this whole motorcycle pull up. That might be the thing I told you to get earlier. Oh, you did it already?
Thank you.
I think I'm the best player in the house.
Thank you.
I'm an elf.
I'm one of Santa's elves, but I'm not just some pussy-ass elf. I'm the elf enforcer. I'm the biggest elf.
So the elves don't produce
presence on time.
I teach the elves a lesson they'll never forget. And I know what you're gonna say, but Andrew's only six foot three. He's an elf with giantism. If he was a human, he'd be eight foot four. But he's also an elf.
I'm an elf.
But I make sure the elves behave.
No elves are misbehaving on my watch.
I'm an ice giant, but I'm a midget one.
So Andrew's an elf with giantism. I'm a giant with dwarfism.
So I'm one inch taller.
Two hosts.
It's the way it works.
It's science.
Seven plus six.
Thank you for being here.
Is Adderall bad love for Mexico?
-
If you take Adderall,
Stop it.
Just stop taking Adderall in Mexico, bro.
I can't think of anything worse to do with my Sunday than to be in Mexico taking Adderall.
Whoa, wanna go?
-Soddy Mexico. Adderall, you in? -Yes.
Thank you.
Check.
More hot.
For a little.
Thank you.
It's full to roll in for Bailey really.
Let's see if I can get lucky.
- The first time I was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.
Hold.
How much?
Not very much. - Not much, Beds.
Thank you.
So when I was growing up in Elf land,
I went to the elf high school. I was the biggest elf.
Had all the elf bitches, all the elf hoes. King of the elf football team, obviously.
They grabbed my ankles, but they couldn't take me out. Santa hired me and said, you look like a bad boy.
Who cares about this shit? I'm talking about elves.
- All right, so done.
Anyway, so I was in charge of enforcing all the elves, and I'm very fair.
But I don't take shit.
So a certain amount of toys need making, certain amount of toys must get made. Otherwise, I take the elf workers bitches.
I go to their elf homes. I take their elf wives. I feed them all of them. And I have all my elf wives.
in a line.
in a little row.
And they sing me specific
Christmas carols that I've made myself. Oh Top G, oh Top G, you're so big and strong.
Oh Top G, oh Top G, your Johnson's very long.
Hey!
and there's like 20 of them in a row, and I have them organized by blonde elf hoes,
Bruna elf hoes, we got big TE elf hoes, we got them all in like little organizations.
And then we have the ones who sing the high notes, the low notes,
That's my basic job. That's the secret to my wealth. But how big can elf titties really get if they're really small? Bruh!
Bro.
- 400, 200. - You'll see my, wait 'til you see my harem of elfos. - Andrew, I'm your brother. If you had elfos and a harem of elfos, I would've seen them by now. - No, trust me.
It's crazy.
It's not.
You made that up. 200 to play?
Check, raise.
You, my friend, made that up. I didn't make that- you think that story's made up?
6, 7, 8.
You think I just made up that story?
Yeah.
-
Thank you.
for all of us.
Just fall with your fucking pussy. Okay.
Thank you.
Cool.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's.
Check out a bit.
Alex doesn't know how to fold.
I've only seen Alex fold when you body punch him.
Thank you.
I'm going to move on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thin. - Mmm.
- Sure.
Thank you.
What else?
- One thousand. - Two thousand. - Raise two thousand. - Call. - Call, slow down please.
Two pair sixes and nines aces and tens. I knew he had the ace in the ten. I fucking knew he had ace ten as well I said it in my mind. The only way I'm gonna lose this is if he has ace ten. I thought one of you had an eight. I
I literally said it in my brain. I thought one of you would have had an ace. If he has ace-10, that's the only one I'm going to lose his hand.
An eight would have lost you the hand.
I think I'll do A
Mm.
So it's more likely that he has an ace at a 10 than an eight. Absolutely correct.
That isn't true though. How much am I?
You made that up. You made that up. I don't make things up.
So who made that up, you or me? Marcel, did he make it up, yes or no?
He made it up.
Andrew made it up. Ah, and I gotta use specific names, huh? That's your attempt. Andrew made it up.
I think he made it up.
Hold.
Check it out, please.
race.
What's that song that came on earlier and how we liked it?
Dreaming of a White Christmas. It's a good song.
- Thank you.
I feel like the five's off now.
Can't wait to be sitting next to you soon.
Soon's a big word, my friend.
Soon is a big word.
Thank you.
Andrew David says my dog's name is Peter Pan and he likes to lick peanut butter.
of nothing.
How do I have something? I have fucking ace four. No filth on my podcast. You don't send me filthy...
Super chat, because I will block you. In fact, I'm blocking this guy. Admin, block that guy.
Ooh.
- Thank you.
The fear of being alone
Thank you.
So anyway, all my elf girls.
What they do is they sit around seeing the elf Andrew Tate Christmas carols. And then also what I do sometimes, I make them make Christmas carols about you. So you can't get real women and you have to resort to elves.
Bro, they are real women.
- They're not. - They do. They make me little toys. They made my Bugatti.
Elves did. And then I make them make Christmas carols about how much everyone who's ever met you since the dawn of human time, even when you're a child up till now, everybody has had a strong dislike for you. Nobody's ever liked you ever. And we make up Christmas carols about that and we sing that. Name three of the carols.
Bro, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you want a more?
She can't even name it. You can't name it. I can name the carols. Name them. Tristan smells.
Tristan's mails, Tristan's mails.
He smells all the way.
Nobody likes to talk to him because he is.
Check.
You're going to never financially recover from that.
For all of them.
ever financially.
Remember last night playing Uno?
We got him. We got you, Andrew. We definitely got him. We got you.
We got you.
Little did we know that it was just...
THE END OF THE END OF THE
Bailey trying to get used, trying to compensate for his own sins and crimes.
- Being alone. - Sorry, we're live on the internet. I'm not gonna mention what crimes you committed, Bailey.
Bailey is a criminal.
for
He was found guilty.
- Check. - Check.
Show cards?
Jason Dodger, I recently acquired a vape. Does that mean I'm gay? Line high. Line high? Yes.
7, 8, 9, 10.
Almost.
Yes, it does mean you're gay. Enjoy your vibe.
Thank you.
I love Andrew so much. I can't wait to marry him. His heart is so pure.
unlike
Is she an elf?
I love him so much. He's the last real man. Is she an elf? I can't wait to be with him here after. Is she an elf? I don't want no tall bitches. Is she an elf? It's a dude.
That's also another discriminatory factor. Lucy Ward.
800 now. Yeah. Raw tip, boom, bucklaw tip.
Thank you.
I'm going to go ahead and
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
People are trying to write...
Christmas carols in the chat and they're crap. No one is imaginative.
- Point of all.
I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas.
Oh, three raised.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well...
9 to 8.
Perfect. Check. Check.
My father was a professional poker player. That's interesting.
How come your Super Chat's only 10 bucks then? This all goes to charity. If you were so good, you'd be rich.
6, 7, 8, 9.
Just saying.
- Check, so I don't.
- Yeah.
- That's true. - True. - True as wings.
Pair of threes, is that your elf girls? Excuse me, I have more than a pair of threes, thank you very much. I have a harem of threes.
Harim of freeze.
You guys, I personally changed my life, I wish the best for you both.
No problem, Michael.
- The President and the President, the President,
Have you ever heard that...
Christmas Carol called
Tristan's a dickhead.
Yeah, I know it. It's mainly about his brother.
and how great he is compared to his dickhead, Tristan.
Yeah, that's true. 400 more brains.
Have you ever heard that one? What's that? What's it go?
Jingmar smells.
Ever heard it?
Yeah.
That's my favorite one.
400? Yes sir. And 400 more to call.
- The first time we have been in the last year,
Thank you.
Of course it's long.
Bye.
Thank you.
Why are you doing it that way?
Don't know what to do.
I'm not really in the game. I have infinitely more chips than you.
.
- Check it out.
What do you mean? Stop putting it on the table.
What are you talking about?
If the table falls over, it's your fault.
Thank you.
Hey, Tom, let me know.
Oh.
You know Marcel's favorite card game is
Who found it? Stroker.
.
Do you want to know how it's played?
Thank you.
Thank you.
*sad music*
Thank you.
Okay.
Turn.
Will you and Andrew come to my wedding next year in America?
Maybe.
If I know you,
Maybe, but your screen name is Racigs.
It's like cigarettes and racism mixed into one word. Those are both things. I've got to say something really important.
Thank you.
Pussy. Sorry. Who? The guy with the super chat or Alex? Alex is folded. Alex folded? Yeah.
I don't even fold under questioning. That's why I always lose. I've got the greens back, so we're back in action. So I'm going to use the greens again.
Stop doing that.
400 yeah? 800. 800, small blind or my big blind again? I'm big blind now.
Loser has to get vaccinated for COVID.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
All in.
-
Hold on a roll.
Well...
What's the most expensive Christmas gift y'all have gotten for a family member? Said y'all, I'm not talking to him. Alright, I'm not talking to you because you said y'all.
We take care of everyone all year round, to be honest. Yeah, all year round. We buy everyone everything they want all the time. So at Christmas, I don't buy anyone anything.
Just the same crap I always buy them.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
9 pin king
Check, Robert. Check.
- Thank you.
How much do I need to put up? - 800. All in to play.
Okay. Thank you.
Thank you.
Bet 800.
Where did you even get that swear?
Oh, your mom made it for me?
Or should I make you one?
Oh, I guess she's a favorite, I guess.
If I was mum, you would not be my favourite. Why?
You're not even my favorite brother.
You're my least favorite brother.
800.
Yes sir. No a thousand.
Thank you.
Cool.
River Cards.
Thank you.
Nine.
That's one.
Thousand bits
Okay, well
Let's go. Fair Queens. Fair of Cuisine.
- Screen with Fire High.
- One is with six high. - Split pot? - Looks like a split pot. - Yeah, split pot. No one's got anything higher.
Thank you.
Well, that was gay and anticlimactic. I'm gonna see her drink coffee and ignore everybody.
How many people are watching us? 15,000?
Hi guys, I'm going to start ignoring you.
Coffee.
.
Usually when I play poker I drink. - Also with all my elf chicks. - You have to do synchronized dances.
.
Thank you.
Do you choreograph the dances? I do, as you can tell.
Maybe a little jig.
while singing the Christmas Carol all at the same time. But the perfect synchronization. The dance doesn't look much on its own. When you have all the Hautey Elves,
doing it in perfect synchronization.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- I don't think, I think-- - Marcel, look.
Wait, wait, are they elves by race or height?
Height there are all different kinds of races the South Pole. Where do I live South Pole North Pole doesn't matter I
It's not racist. We have all races there. The Earth is hollow, and from one pole, you can actually walk through the Earth to the other. Exactly. That's where I live with the lizard people.
Remember when I thought Andrew was a lizard person, it turns out I was the real lizard person. So it's lizards versus elves in the final showdown. I'm inside the hollow earth. 400? 400.
With my lizard friends.
- The first time I was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.
- Any problem.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
for another little quote.
Thank you.
Cool.
Tristan, I cheated on my girlfriend and I regret it. She's a very strong Christian with great morals. I broke up with her and haven't told her.
Do you think I should try to fix it or walk away? Bro, at least admit it.
Or break up with her because of the fuel bags. She doesn't even know why. At least say, look, I cheated on you.
See how she feels. Be a man. Or not.
Pussy, what are you scared? You got hands?
Is she a professional boxer?
I don't think she is, is she?
And she's not. So her head movement, footwork, all of it zero.
You won't even admit your mistake, you just break up and run away.
What are you scared of?
A slap.
To be able to Aikido slaps away. I've Aikido'd away so many slaps in my life.
400, 800 please.
Thank you.
800? White heart Christmas card, say it.
That'd be a surprise. Hi, Merry Christmas, I cheated on you. I do that with my valentine. Listen, you need to change the vernacular. It's not cheating.
Something happened.
But I'm glad it happened because it made me know how much more I love you.
It's touch and go. You're not seeing the bigger picture. See the bigger picture. I
We love each other. Don't ruin us over nothing.
How am I ruining that? You cheated. No, you're ruining us because you're reacting bad.
Just calm down. It's Christmas.
Bitch, have some eggnog.
True.
Mmm, what is it?
Headhunter is a big blind.
for another one
Stop doing that. Just, Andrew, just fucking count chips out like normal.
Stop doing it. I'm serious.
This is going to be my last-- I'm not going to play with you if you're going to do this, because it takes forever. Oh, that'd be terrible.
We're usually out by the second hand everywhere.
Or I do exceptionally well until the end where I get wiped out.
Stop doing that.
Check, raise.
Ah!
I have no more greens, so I'm gonna check.
- Or I would raise. - I'm gonna start looking at Andrew's cards and telling Alex.
spice the game up a bit you know
Check it out.
You're gonna play honest.
That's right.
Then...
Here's a pair of jokers.
King chocolate.
- I'm sorry.
800
Let's dance. - Let's dance.
You got the flush? Who has the higher flush? Let's go.
Okay.
Uh,
Alex you didn't have anything of course I didn't fucking nothing
- The President and the President of the United States.
Fucking zero, fucking zero, zero.
Thank you.
Got the greens back. - Zero is the number of elf hoes you have. - Bruv, you don't know about my elf game. - Andrew, what do you buy in Piers Morgan for Christmas?
I'm gonna get him a mask.
Because he keeps getting COVID even though he's had 18 injections. That's fair.
Poor guy.
I think you should give him blood pressure now.
Okay.
Ivermectin.
ventilator.
Am I big blind or small blind?
Fold.
Thank you.
give him 400.
Okay.
I need to keep my greens. - Coffee?
Currently live in a house with brokeys. The rent is very cheap. It's allowed me to elevate my life in other ways. Do I stay in practice discipline or get out because you are who you hang out with?
You can live with people and not hang out with them.
You can live in a house full of people that you don't like and don't hang out with. You can hang out with better people. You can join the fucking war room. I'm tired of these stupid questions. They know what to do. Oh, I live in a house of brokies. I'm rich. Then join a network of people you can actually make money with. Oh, no, I don't want to invest in myself. Then why don't you just fuck off? You'll find better housemates.
Bye.
Go stay a loser. There's no winners without losers. You think I give a shit if you stay a loser?
800? I want to explain the story behind my Christmas lights.
What you have to understand is every single person
whether they're a good person or a bad person.
has a little fire, a little flame inside of their soul. So what I did was I murdered
thousands of people and stole their fire and each little Christmas light you see is powered by the soul of one of my dead enemies. This is a confession.
Count the lights, count the bodies. You'll never find the bodies. That's what powers my Christmas lights. That's what gives me the festive spirit.
- The first time I was in the first time, I was just a little bit.
This is a confession. Thanks.
Take me to jail.
Thanks.
400, 800 please. Thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Appreciate that, Alex. Thanks. Thank you.
Thank you.
Question for Marcel.
Hi Marcel.
Yes, sir. It's very obvious from the body language at the table,
that everyone that you're sitting with hates you. How do you feel about that?
- Thank you.
It's from...
- Tristan. - Tristan.
How do you feel? - It makes me feel good. - Does it feel good?
Your pain and misery makes me feel good. All right. Got another Zuba chat here.
For Bailey.
Hi, Bailey.
In the years we've been watching the Magnificent Tate Brothers, we've seen some real losers. Hey, thank you.
by their side.
How does it feel to clinch the title as the biggest loser ever seen with the Tate brothers? That's a question from...
Andrew Tate, 99. I'm going to go hang myself.
*cough*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Question here for Alex.
Check.
- Thank you.
- Payton.
I'm listening.
- Oh, Quest Your Feralix.
Alex, why do you prolong this stupid game when Andrew's clearly going to beat you?
Five, check it out.
Check, check, showdown piece.
Thanks, Tom.
Super.
How did you not see your second pair? I think Alex is in the ring.
- I was trying to be the leader. - Look at all those yellow chips. - Yeah, he might be. - Alex is winning.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
400,500 piece.
Thank you.
Thank you.
For Christmas, could you ask Elon if he can review my Neuralink waiting list application?
I don't understand Neuralink that well and I also have only very very briefly
acquainted myself with Elon. I can't ask him anything.
.
But I wish you luck, and I wish you a Merry Christmas.
Thank you.
so tristan now i have all almost all the greens and i will keep them
Good. Nice.
You guys should do a comedy show. I love the dynamic between you two. I don't love the dynamic between us two.
I think Andrew...
He's a loser.
No one likes him. He's a misogynist and he's toxic.
Check it. Check it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Three king jack, whole surat.
Interesting.
Check.
If we had a comedy show, what would we name it?
What else? That one, probably.
Thank you.
Line up, 500,000 cars plus. What do I do? 500.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That was the minimum bet now.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Well, you can't afford it. Oh, I can't.
Where is Tate's interest or Tandrew 8?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, where are they?
Home of their families.
Yeah, that's true. It's the kind of thing those losers would do, isn't it?
Thank you.
I want to call.
How much?
Question for Andrew, how does it feel to be top G number two since Tristan is now officially top G number one?
Mario Sigma, I feel like that's a dig at my brother, so I know you're trying to compliment me, but I'm banning you.
Banned.
Loser. Can I ask you guys a question? Check.
Yeah, you can ask questions, Marcel.
- Okay. - Yeah, you gotta donate money, though.
Thank you.
Each question online is $10.
Handles.
You owe me $10. I won't forget that.
Andrew, how does it feel to be top G number two now that Trista is top G number one?
Show points.
- Power force. - Power force. - That's a good question.
You know, sometimes at night I do feel sad about it and I just...
Go home, tell my elf bitches. No one has elf bitches. Get them all in a line. Get them all in a line. They start doing the dance.
And I say, think of a Christmas carol about Marcel.
and then they sit down with all the little pens and papers, little ones, miniature ones.
Little handwriting.
And I start writing.
Okay, I'm gonna ask you guys them officially. BLM BLM! 1,000 people at his win. He took his life away. Everybody hates Marcel.
Thank you.
I'm big blind, yeah?
Check.
Marcel, how much of your income do you donate to the Black Lives Matter organization? What percentage?
Well...
- Seven.
100%. 100%. Zero. He's lost it all in poker.
Want to?
Yeah, 100% of his body. So there we go. That's still 100%.
Well, Bailey can do math.
- Okay, I'm going to go.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Is that still taking it seriously?
Uh, yeah, what it is is if you want to buy a bunch of dumb people mansions who will hustle you, you give them your money.
- Oh, wow. - It's a good scheme. Like, if you want to be hustled,
by people who are dumb.
who pay all their family huge salaries to do nothing and buy mansions, you give money to that organization. - Guys, can we talk about the things people care about, please?
You're going to say elf bitches again.
Thank you.
I'm just saying.
Thank you.
How many off pitches though?
Bro.
Give us a number while since I've counted.
Thank you.
Two, five, five, chocolate.
- Trick. - Trick. - I can actually see through the cards.
Jerk.
One more time.
B control.
When you guys come into Switzerland, we need to bring the war room here for a drink. You've been in Switzerland three times. I've been to Switzerland loads of times. And if you were in the war room and like a member worth talking to, I would definitely have met you already. So I think you might be making things up.
I'm going to go ahead.
Thank you.
Not greens.
Good.
I'll trade you all my yellows for greens. Dunk, dunk, dunk.
Thank you.
All right, one yellow per one green? Yeah.
Agree. That's a good swap.
You think I won't do it?
- So, so, so.
I've got a new pick-up.
Okay, check.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Eight.
5, 8.
Check over. Check.
Check.
I'm unemployed. What kind of message is that?
- Thank you.
Good for you.
I'm closing.
That message was from Marcel Bollies.
-
Thank you.
- Thank you.
What do Andrew Twister think of Albanians? I don't think anything of Albanians. If I like you, I like you, and I don't care what nationality you are.
I'll tell you what though, the other day I was walking around and some guys came up to me, "We're from Albania! We're from Albania!" screaming it at me.
And followed me for about five or six minutes. Let me tell you something.
No man.
is worth following in the street for the hope of getting a picture with.
Not me, not Andrew, nobody. I do like Albania though.
And Albanian people are cool. They are cool, I agree. But when we're with our chicks, it's intimidating to be followed. We don't like it. Yeah, why follow me? It's weird.
- The first time I was in the first time, I was in the first time.
She loves the St. Magic trick.
Go on.
- Tch.
That was good.
That was quite good.
That was pretty good. You got him.
*crash*
Thank you.
5 -thin
5-thin pin.
Check out the office.
- Thousand. - Thousand. - I can say it. - Thousand.
What?
Do you want to see a magic trick, Marcel?
Thank you.
I can't show you on camera, 'cause they'll work out my secrets, the secrets of my magic.
2000.
Bad to the house.
He's bluffing, he's got pocket queens.
.
What? That's a bluff.
You could have four tens. Two thousand, huh?
Yeah.
Okay.
For this 2000
I will
I will
Who sends a super chat just to be racist against Indians?
- Cool. - Ban this guy, admin. - Two pair of fives and queens.
I think it's
- Please, I'll find.
What you got?
Two persons.
Quins and Tennis.
Well played.
- I wasted that. - Not bad.
Not bad for a loser.
Thank you.
Alright, one of the 1,000 please.
It's good with Dr. Greens.
I know, bro.
I need them back. Look at you dorks wearing your Christmas hats. Why are you wearing Santa hats, dorks? You look like a bunch of geeks in those hats.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm not wearing a hat. Marcel's wearing a do-rag. That is not a do-rag. That's a Santa hat.
What the fuck are you full grown men wearing Santa hats for? You should be ashamed of him. He's got a du-rag under his hat. He's definitely more gangster than him. You should be embarrassed.
He's 100% more gangster than you.
I'm scared of the hat actually touching his physical head.
I'm a woman.
Sounds more like a move someone else here would pull.
Oh.
Take it easy.
race.
- Thousand more?
Why is Andrew the only one with the Christmas spirit?
- Thank you.
Hm.
6, 9, 8.
- A little bit. - Andrew, why are you the unknown with Christmas spirit?
Because Christmas is great. If you had a bunch of elf women singing to you-- Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
You can sing the Christmas carols in July. I mean you can but it doesn't fit the same. But around Christmas they're like Tristan smells, Tristan smells.
Shut up.
Do you want Elf Bitch?
Pussy, pussy, pussy.
Yeah, good choice. Pussy. I'm 46 with no boyfriend or no husband, and I'd like to have a baby. How much? $300. $300.
- The first time I was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.
Do whatever you can and I wish you the best of luck, but you waited way too long.
Serve as an example to young women out there, or maybe adopt.
Adopt a baby from Palestine or somewhere sad. I think that's a better move than actually trying to have one at 46. That's my genuine advice.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Should I send, I will send personalized, if you can prove to me that any member of your family,
is super duper liberal.
like super duper full trump derangement syndrome hates me i'm a human trafficker whatever if you can prove it to me that they're totally psycho and you promise to play the message
at Christmas dinner.
and record it, you can go to livechat on covertape.com and request a personal message from me and I'll say their name.
and I'll cuss him out.
No problem. But you have to play it at Christmas dinner with the turkey, with the family, and you have to cause a big mess. You have to ruin Christmas for everyone. I'll do a message for you.
Yeah.
How much?
Hello, this is a personal shout out to the Mullings family.
That's Marcel's last name, by the way. If you're wondering why he's choking on his smoke like a little bitch.
It's not just because he is in fact a little bitch who chokes on smoke.
- The first time I was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.
It's because I'm funny.
.
Oh.
Alex only bets when he has something. $500, I'm closer. Yeah, he only bets when he has good cards. Never trust a man who only bets when he has good cards. How much? $500?
One thousand. Thousand? Ever.
Last time, that was your advice. Only bet when you have good cards. No, it wasn't. I said never trust a man who only bets when he has good cards. That's my advice.
You trust me last night to remember.
I don't trust you at all.
You and you are traitors to my cause.
and a house full of traitors.
- The first time we have been in the last year, we have been in the last year.
- Thank you.
Come on, Nicole.
I know you're not going to read this because you didn't read my last one, so can I get a refund? I'm broke. Here's my cash app. It's not a joke. Don't ban. If I didn't read your last one, I've skipped a few super chats. There's a reason I didn't read your last one, but that one was actually very funny.
So how about this, if you donate another 2,000
I'll refund you.
Thank you.
Cool.
and at Marceau.
play poker with it.
Yeah, stop sending Snapch- stop sending Superchats if you're on.
broke.
Stop it. No, I'm not going to refund you. I don't even have Cash App. I don't even have a bank account. Cash App's an American thing. Yeah, I don't have Cash App.
Who is the house record on bench right now? For a 100 kilo bench, I still hold the record at 17 reps.
Tomorrow?
Try again.
Oh, river court.
Thank you.
Four.
Keep on the look.
Thank you.
Ay, ay, ay.
- Thank you.
You can't play poker when your mom looks like Joker.
Have you ever heard that saying?
5,000.
Oh!
I'm going to go back.
Thank you.
*crickets*
I think we'll see if he's gonna win this now.
Go on, who's going to win? Either Alex or Andrew.
I'll tell you after they win. Yeah, fair. Make a bet interesting.
- Thank you.
100 push-ups. 100. I thought that.
One thousand.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't know.
Thank you.
Take it.
Well...
Thank you.
Thank you.
- That's one? - Yes sir. I'm wrong with it.
-
Hmm.
Those are the good old days.
My elf women, because they have little tiny hands, like 20 of them can massage my huge back at once.
Little hands.
I'm not massaging away. You're so big, you're so strong. Thank you for protecting us, Lord of the Elves, Elf God, Elf Lord. Hi Andrew, we met in Romania. All the other little elf men try and get some puss puss, I'm like, bruv.
-
I guess the small hands are useful for your small Johnson.
No, my Johnson's long. They just missed the song.
Long and must be skinny though, for the small hands.
Thank you.
We met in Romania. I want to thank you for helping my friend who had cancer.
He said, "Do you know what that means?"
- Thank you.
Welcome.
Thousand.
Go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Check her a big app.
- 'Cause I'm just all in, what is this shit? - That was it. All in showdown, get this shit over with.
- Thank you.
I'm tired of poker, I'm tired of you, I'm tired of Christmas.
I started pretending that you guys are my friends.
Tired of being civil. Tired of everything. Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan. Tristan, Tristan, Tristan. What even is this? Thousand. Thousand.
Thank you.
Oh, so it's Tristan, Ty, put the Santa hat on. Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, Tr -
Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew
Bear Jacks.
Two words.
Nice, very well.
One last plate.
It's more like a straight.
What is me?
One, two, three, four, five. Yeah, I had a straight. Wow. And a pair of jacks. And a pair of jacks. Get fucked.
From being alone. To be fair, Alex, I was you getting fucked.
- So you didn't know that you-- - Bro, you think I didn't know? Of course I knew. Why am I batting so hard if I don't know my hand I got?
I'm just fucking with his head a little bit. So he's like, oh, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's just betting on nothing.
That's all I do.
I got him.
Thank you.
- The first time I was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.
- Thank you.
One thousand, please. Tristan, don't be a negative Nancy.
There'll be a Debbie Downer.
-Fuck me. -Chicks hate that.
Don't be a Debbie Downer. All right, Debbie. Chill out, Debbie. You fucked this bitch. Chill out, Debbie.
No, I didn't.
Thank you.
500 to play? Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Go.
I actually think the house sheesh is the best one.
- Yeah, thanks. - Good. - Thank you for-- - Shisha.
One in the chat if Shisha's gay.
Two if sheesh is good.
Thank you.
Cool.
Thank you.
This is not even a joke. LucyWarr2000 literally wrote, "Why is Marcel black?"
You couldn't even read that on YouTube. That's a real question. A pair of fives.
I don't know this.
So, why?
Nice.
Thousand to thousand days.
I'm 2000? Yes sir.
Thank you.
Nice, everyone thinks she's just gay. More ones than twos. Tristan, when I win, you're my debt collector. You have to get the money off everyone.
break fingers, break legs.
You know what to do.
Kidnapping human trafficking people's families. Oh wait, shit.
Can't say that on the internet.
- The first time we have been in the last year, we have been in the last year.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Pay up or you'll never see your family. I am the world's biggest elf.
Thank you.
I don't know bro.
- Oh, one second.
- Raise. - Raise. How much can I raise by? - A thousand or minimum. - A thousand more.
- Awesome.
Thousand more?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
A is for nine. Tristan, where are all your elfos?
Here's none.
I'm not into elves.
My Johnson's too big.
- 1,000. - Here we go, in one end, and out the other. - 2,000 minimum. - You got a teeny little pee-pee.
$2,000 is the minimum bet now?
- Jesus Christ.
Thanks.
- Okay.
Thank you.
And who's the world's best?
That's right, I was going to give.
Say again.
I was wrong on that one. Ah, so it's $2,000 to raise. $2,000, yeah.
- For everything.
How am I gonna use my greens?
Shut up.
- Thank you.
One thousand to thousand please.
- Okay.
Okay.
Tristan, the Earth's flat, isn't it? Yes. It's not actually flat.
What it is, is it's hollow.
and the sun is in the middle.
and we live on the inside.
Check release.
- Thank you.
So you look up and you see the sun.
But if you looked past the sun, you'd see China.
Thank you.
It's basic cosmology.
and the lizard people live in my house.
check
Check, show them.
Thanks.
King Hai?
What happened to Andrew's head? I know what you mean. I know what you mean there.
When you took off his hat, he had a bunch of Christmas hat fluff. That was Christmas spirit. That wasn't Christmas spirit. That was Christmas spirit, bro.
So is your do-rag to protect you from Christmas spirit?
How much am I? So you're wearing protection because you're scared. Two thousand.
Thank you.
Feel like someone else I know.
Someone else you know.
That could be...
Andrew is a misogynist. True.
It's not true. It is not true. He's never given a massage in his life.
The moon doesn't rotate though.
The moon is actually made of cheese.
All the cheese the humans made years ago... Are these natural questions?
"The moon doesn't rotate" was a question. "The moon made a cheese" is something I just said.
Wait, am I big blind or small blind? Big blind. And he's called me. I'm small.
Yeah, you can just call it
and just look at the cards and just check.
You put the money already. All right, so raise.
Mike only rates by $2,000, yeah?
See, it's the screen names that I like. What are your thoughts on having exotic animals?
No, no, it's the screen names that fuck with me. Someone asked what are your thoughts on having exotic animals? Oh?
Adolf is king.
Six queen queen.
That's actually his screen name. What's the minimum back? Two thousand.
- Thank you.
- The first time I was in the first time, I was just a little bit.
Two calls.
Someone's wrote you the world's shittest poem, I'm reading it out.
Um...
.
to be threatened to.
Do you know what it is?
I don't like being challenged.
Thank you.
I challenge you to the world's longest stream.
To talk.
What's the streaming world record? I could break out. I'm not asleep. I'm an insane person. You've got to be very careful what you do. If you play pro, they won't let you get away with this shit.
I don't have enough.
What did he do? Are you on? What has he got? Everything he's got.
2000.
Oh, man.
Thank you.
Sure, class.
- Okay, we'll call? - Yeah, call?
All in? Full house.
Nice. All right, anduines.
All right, talk for five minutes on the Peter Pan Peterbuck Reload and do them or ending. Yeah, go game.
Money please? Oh no, don't shake your hand, it's not your money.
There's no money. Money please, money please. Stop saying money because people are going to sound clever to you and try and haramble you. Oh, take a joke.
I'm just telling you, people on the internet are dorks. The internet's full of geeks. Get this.
Some geek who wouldn't stop saying that we were criminals when I was in jail
is now begging me to do a podcast with him.
Big as well, like 700,000 followers. Hey man, we should cut it up on its spaces.
What the fuck?
These people have no integrity, no balls, losers.
Who would be a bigger gentleman on a very serious note as we sign out for this Peter Pan peanut butter alert? Most of you are losers are gonna stay losers and there's no intention of you ever becoming important or Genuinely influential in the world today without a network, which is important. You know how to meet us don't come to our fucking gate Don't try and come up to us in the street. Don't tell us what country from we do not care really see people inside the war room See you inside soon. Bye