Transcript
In every room in my house I have weapons.
Various throwing and fighting weapons. I think we've discussed this in our earlier Tate speech, but...
This is my little axe. I've got like four of these in this room.
So you have to come at me and...
Pull out my sword.
What the fuck are we doing in my house?
Anyway, back to the point.
We're going to talk about the time I went to jail.
So,
And we're going to talk about it because when I was in jail, I read a book.
So I was last arrested
Four years ago, I think.
Why? Doesn't matter.
But when I was in jail,
They gave me this book. You had a choice of three books to read.
I chose this book.
And it was the worst book I ever read. I can't remember the name of it. If we could find out the name of it, that'd be really good. So it's about, it probably shouldn't be that hard if you Google it.
It's about a woman who was a UN negotiator.
and she got fired, but you don't know why. So she's living in a New York apartment, she has some boyfriend, but she's not happy with her life 'cause her boyfriend doesn't fuck her properly, 'cause every girl who's not happy with her life and needs more adventure ain't getting enough dick, 'cause if they're getting plenty of dick, they're fine.
And anyway, she really regrets how she got fired from the UN
And she keeps talking about this big mistake she made to get fired from the UN. I made such a big mistake. I got fired from the UN. I made such a big mistake.
So anyway, then some guy from the UN comes along and says, we need you back. You're the best negotiator ever. We're going to give you one more chance. And she goes to negotiate this fucking bullshit thing.
.
Blah, blah, blah. She keeps talking about the big mistake the whole way through the book. It turns out that the guy from the UN wasn't really from the UN. He's some terrorist who gets her to negotiate on his behalf. Some garbage.
Anyway, then she starts talking to the real UN guys, blah, blah, blah.
I've just created a super weapon, look.
A sword and an axe combined.
I should patent this and become even richer.
and it detaches, I think. Anyway, so this super fucking...
negotiate your hoe.
Keeps talking about this big mistake. If only I didn't make this big mistake, I could still be working for the UN, whatever. Anyway, it turns out,
Eventually they reveal after about 400 page build up of what this big mistake was that got her fired from the UN.
She was negotiating for the UN between two warring tribes in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
and she fell in love with and fucked the leader of one of the tribes.
So she was no longer neutral and impartial, so she could no longer negotiate between the two.
Your white bread ass.
from New York.
who went to college and university and got a job as a UN negotiator
went to the jungle and fell in love with fucking Mutumbu,
who doesn't speak English with his big black ding-dong,
and got kicked?
And I've been reading this shit for 400 pages, and now she's like, "Oh, it was a mistake, I regret it." What kind of game can Mutumbu even have? He doesn't even speak English.
He's a warlord.
You're negotiating between two warlords. He literally runs around and kills people.
with machine guns for fun. And when you met him, you were like, oh wow, he's so charming.
What kind of hoe?
What kind of ratchet ass hoe would fuck Mutombo? So I'm reading this book.
And I finally get to the realization that the whole time, the heroine, the main character, is just some stupid hoe.
Some dumb hoe who fucked some guys you shouldn't have fucked. Of course you shouldn't fuck African warlords. Whether you're negotiating between two tribes or not, you should probably not be fucking African warlords in general.
And this moves on to my broader point.
Women are fucking stupid.
fictional ones, real ones, doesn't matter if they're on TV or any book. They are fucking dumb. Women are dumb.
We know it, we're not supposed to say it, but it's fucking true. Because I guarantee you,
Whoever wrote that shit, wrote that book thought, obviously he wanted it to be as realistic as possible. He's like, let me make this book, make it as good as possible. What's the kind of stupid, dumb shit a woman would do?
Oh, yeah, this is the kind of dumb shit. How many women out there are fucking dudes they shouldn't be fucking?
Loads. And do you know how I know that for a fact? Because loads of them are fucking me. And I don't give them shit.
There's no future with me, there's no love from me, and here they are.
Proof women are dumb.
So here on my phone I have my list of take speeches.
We just talked about Mutumbu. I've got another one.
Pro-arranged marriage, how I believe in arranged marriage. Have we done that one already?
I don't think we have.
So I'm going to combine two Tate speeches.
Because the last Tate speech about that UN negotiator hoed proves my point exactly. Women don't know what's good for them.
Women ain't got a fucking clue what's good for them. But do you know who does know what's good for chicks?
their father.
I guarantee there would be less divorce, happier families, and a better society as a whole if the women could only marry the men their father says they could marry.
You're giving women this free choice shit.
When is the last time a woman made a good choice?
If they make the choice of a good man, they're miserable because they got a pussy. If they make the choice of a G, they're miserable because they got a G. Women are just miserable.
Just unhappiness.
Then they end up being a scat, running around, just fucking everyone, trying to find the perfect guy. By the time they get a guy that could have been the perfect guy, they're 30 dicks deep, so their head's all messed up.
So then even though they got the guy they once dreamt of, they can't keep him anymore because they're dreaming of that gangbang they had. Oh, I wish I got gangbanged again. This is boring.
Mr. Two Pumps, Mrs. Shane.
We need to bring arranged marriage back. That's the solution. So when I become president of the world, Lord of Earth,
And I say arranged marriage must be brought back into society. And people ask me why. I'm going to get out that book and I say read it.
Look what this bitch did.
She went to school, she went to college, she was educated, she worked for the UN, she was smart, and she could not resist big black ding dong!
Because women are stupid.