Transcript
My name is Tristan Tate. Congratulations on buying the body language course. My brother's body language as
it's been commented on by many many people is always
on point.
But I'm here today to talk about how you and your best friend, your brother, your companion, whoever you like to hang out with,
how your body language can complement each other.
Now, the main reason for this
isn't to be combat ready as andrew touched on in a previous video
but it's more to avoid
confrontation.
Now me and Andrew are very controversial characters. Almost nobody who knows who we are
likes us. You are one of the
few people, you're one of the elite, the people who actually understand what we're talking about
and like what we have to say, but most people don't.
That said, we are never started on
in the real world.
Now, of course, now we're well-renowned kickboxing champions, but we've always had the same principles.
and the same body language and the same mannerisms
And we've noticed that people do not start on us very often.
And the best way to avoid conflict and to avoid combat
is to be perceptive.
There was a very famous experiment actually done in India
Where, uh...
Tiger attacks.
on Indian miners who are
completely going crazy. The numbers are through the roof. And you can look this up, please look it up.
And the solution they came to
to avoid tigers attacking the miners.
With these miners would take human-faced masks
and wear them on the back of their heads.
So they'd do their mining, go down in their boats, drive around in their trucks, be out in the open,
with this mask on the back of their head.
and if you look it up on Google images for sure you'll be able to find exactly what I'm talking about
You'll see that the masks look stupid. It looks ridiculous. It was only a very minor touch.
that these guys thought about the problem and are...
actually applied something.
but Tiger attacks essentially drop to zero.
Now men,
very much like tigers, are big pussies too.
I just thought of that, I didn't actually write this.
But um...
what you'll find is,
Everyone's a coward and no one wants to fight one-on-one. So even if there's only two of you,
Your body language, how you stand and where you place yourself
can be a massive deterrent
to being started on or having any kind of physical confrontation.
Now in school, they teach you.
are things like a strong handshake. And I'm sure the basis of this is in every single
course or guide to body language in the world, but they teach it for the wrong reasons.
In school, I was taught that a strong handshake makes the person who I want to employ me
like me more or take me more seriously.
But you could convey many different...
expressions.
and emotions with something as simple as a handshake.
If I'm in a room with a group of people who may or may not be hostile,
If I'm in a room with a group of people who may or may not be hostile,
The standard good handshake they'll teach you to give
with the right expression on your face can also mean
Don't fuck with me.
It can say,
I'm stronger than you.
It could say, I'm not a pushover.
These are things that people don't think about.
because it's never taught. Everyone's taught how to shake hands to say please employ me, please give me a job.
but many other things can be conveyed.
with just a handshake.
Now, when me and Angela were out in public,
We're always watching each other's backs.
Now paranoia isn't cool, it isn't sexy.
And it isn't really Alpha to be paranoid.
all the time that somebody's gonna start on you.
I know people who walk through the world in this way. They're scared of everything and everybody.
The police, the person walking behind them, they're jumpy.
That's not what I'm talking about, and that is not the way
men like me and Andrew behave.
When I talk about watching each other's backs,
It's the small things that me and Andrew do that people who hang around with us
Pick up them.
You guys at home won't see these things because they're never recorded and they're never on camera.
Me and Andrew always sit, for example, across the table.
from one another.
just in case somebody decides to come up from behind and attack us. It's very much like
The tiger analogy, wearing the mask on the back of your head.
eyeing on his other set of eyes.
If Andrew's on a date with a beautiful woman, and I'm sitting with my back against the wall and I can see what's going on behind Andrew?
Andrew can relax. Andrew can have his good time. He can not worry about looking over his shoulder because, you know, me and Andrew do have a few enemies everywhere, including the city where we live.
This doesn't just apply when you're with somebody else, but it can very much apply to yourself.
Are you by yourself? Are you in Starbucks getting a coffee, about to do some work on your laptop?
Fine.
Be very careful about where you sit. Choose somewhere where your back is against the wall. Like right now, I'm sitting in a corner. I can see everything that's going on in the room in front of me.
This is the place you want to sit.
Not because you think somebody's going to come up and attack you, not because you are
scared of assailants or muggers or robbers.
just being able to see everything that goes on in the room
gives you the chance to react to situations.
I guarantee if you were to look at some of the violent, crazy things that have happened in Europe from
bombings to terrorist attacks in the last few years.
Some of the people who survived
survived because of where they were sitting.
And it wasn't chance.
A few of the people, I'm sure,
were self-aware enough to be
perspicacious
about their environment, to sit in the corner, to watch what's going on, to be able to react to the environment around them.
Now when I see people with headphones in, slouched over a table with their coffee, typing away on their laptop, and the whole room is behind them and they're facing a wall,
they
look like a target to me.
You don't have to be a tiger to know that that person
is the target. If anything goes down in that coffee shop, if anything goes down in that restaurant,
that person is going to be one of the first to die.
So watch each other's backs and sit across the table from one another
Always.
I have had people who I've invited over
to Eastern Europe, who assume that me and Andrew are the kings of everywhere we go.
Mostly because me and Andrew are very adept fighters and we can handle ourselves very well.
But you need to understand in most situations, from Western Europe to Eastern Europe, when you go to very expensive, exclusive places,
nightclubs, first class lounges at airports.
The people around you
are your equals
or your betters.
in some respect financially or something in one way or another
Now, if I'm in a club and I'm sitting in the VIP section, there are six tables only in an entire club that has maybe 2,000 people in it.
I know those other people
are somebody's too.
Very rarely will a club just let some loser in to sit around and drink their super expensive alcohol. And even then, it's a promoter who knows people or who's friends with the owner.
or something like that.
Now me and Andrew hang out in Eastern Europe a lot, so watching each other's backs
isn't just
actually viewing your surroundings and knowing what's going on around you, your self-awareness.
It's also how you interact with the people who surround you.
To give you an example,
If I sit down at a table,
and there are three or four dudes, a number of dudes who outnumber us.
to my right.
Now this has happened plenty of times
where there are six or seven girls on my table.
Now, how you assert yourself
is going to
determine whether or not those guys try to roll up on your women. You're only two guys, you're with six girls. They assume
that these girls are friends of my girlfriend, they don't know I'm fucking three and Andrew's fucking two.
So of course it's natural and normal for other guys to at least think about
talking to the girls who come with you to the club.
That doesn't happen to me, Andrew.
because of the way we assert ourselves.
what you'll typically find is the most confident amongst them
works as a scout
We'll say hi, we'll say can I borrow a lighter from one of the girls.
When that happens,
Always ask the girl,
If she's okay afterwards, I do it all the time. A guy will be like, excuse me, do you have a like? It's one of my girls.
I'll say, hey, you okay?
and touch her arm gently so the guy says "Oh I was just asking for a lighter" "No problem my friend" handshake, eye contact, you know you have to assert "Don't fuck with me"
with the initial contact with the guy. If I just turn my back and ignore him,
After the lighter's been borrowed and he gives it back, he's going to say, where are you from? Who are you? What's up? You know, you have to cut things off.
the moment they happen, you have to nip it in the bud.
So the way you conduct yourself within your own group of people will stop others from
trying to come over and invade your space.
So the key is always to put yourself in a position of power. Don't just sit down and start guzzling away on drinks.
I don't typically sit next to Andrew and talk away and let our girls mind their own business.
We're mixed in with them, two or three girls, divided by one of us at any
stage around the round table, if you know what I mean.
So we're always in control of our group, in control of our herd, if you like.
So the way you position yourself lets others know not to creep up on you, not to try to talk to your women, and especially
not to start some sort of stupid argument.
That said, in clubs also,
combat readiness. I always like to keep
at least one of my hands free.
If my hand isn't free, it's something that can be used as a weapon.
Now I've in my life,
been in maybe two fights
inside of nightclubs, none of them in Eastern Europe. It's more of an England thing.
and I avoid conflict
at all costs.
but the way you stand can mean the difference
between getting your ass kicked
and winning a fight.
Typically, even if I'm smoking a cigar, the cigar can be easily dropped, I'll keep it in my left hand.
My right hand is the hand I'm gonna strike with first. That's where I'll hold my glass.
Because a glass can be used
as a weapon just as much as a fist can be used as a weapon.
and I always stand left foot in front of right foot ever so slightly
just so I can't be caught off guard, just so that I'm not off balance.
just so that any one time with my glass and my cigar in one hand, if someone approaches really quickly, which is how these things always start, you're always good to throw a strike, throw the glass,
with a punch.
before people even come over and try to talk to girls you're with.
or try to start a fight with you. People will always
scout you out, they'll always stare at you.
for a little
period of time.
They'll ask their friends, what do you think these two are doing with all those girls? Where do you think these guys are from?
so when you catch them looking at you
Don't stare them out. Don't put an aggressive look on your face.
Because that just makes them want to fight you more, especially if you're outnumbered. That's going to encourage
a physical altercation.
So you don't sit there looking angry at them, and what you absolutely don't do
is when they kept you looking at them and look away instantly.
That shows cowardice.
what i do i'm a very confident guy andrew as well
Keep in mind that when we're in a high-class establishment, the people who are with us
are successful guys, rich guys, mafia guys, dangerous guys.
There's somebodies to be sitting there.
So if I'm holding my drink, typically if I catch him looking and I catch eye contact,
I'll just nod at them. Or I'll go like this, I'll raise my glass slightly.
and continue drinking. They'll typically do the same thing back and that eases all tension.
Nobody after that is going to come over and start trying to throw punches to your face.
So if you sit confidently,
and assert yourself just with your eyes
and the looks that you give the people around you, you can avoid
basically all types of confrontation.
No one's gonna come over and try and talk to your women. No one's gonna come over and try to assault you.
try to insult you,
You have to set an atmosphere and set a vibe
that you're friendly
but you're not to be fucked with.
And one more time, that takes me back to the handshake. That's what you need to say when you introduce yourself to people, especially if they come over to your table and try to do something you don't like, like talk to your girlfriend.
Now I know I may look big and scary and some people watching me think, "Oh well, it's alright for you."
You're big and mean looking.
So nobody's gonna start a fight on you. Nobody's gonna wanna
engage in conflict with you.
That's not necessarily true.
you can assert yourself
With confidence alone.
The way you scout the room, everything I was saying earlier, sitting in the corner watching everybody around you gives you the chance to see exactly what's going on.
Now that reminds me of a clip I saw on the internet of a man, I believe it was in Australia,
where 10 to 15 guys ran into a bar. I think they were trying to attack somebody or rob the place. I'm not sure what these assailants were doing.
This guy was standing, his back was to a pillar in the middle of the room so no one could necessarily run up behind him.
and he was standing at the bar.
He wasn't a very big guy or necessarily scary looking guy.
But he stood there
With one of his hands on his glass and the other hand completely free,
and as each person rush by and rushed up to him
He glanced at them slightly.
Now the CCTV footage is a little grainy. I can't see exactly how he looked at these people, but he didn't look down at the floor.
He didn't stare at him with fear and he didn't sit there with an angry look on his face.
He must have.
by process of elimination, 10 guys ran by him, they all glanced at him and nobody started on him.
He must have conveyed
some of the tips I've been talking to you about in this video.
Now why does nobody start on this guy?
He doesn't panic, he doesn't flee, he doesn't run.
that portrays somebody who can handle themselves, certainly.
his hands are free he's calm he's confident and he's
looking at what's going on around him.
The people who rushed into that bar were 10 to 15 individuals. They were not
confident men.
Nobody who wants to go and rob somebody or attack somebody has to bring 10 to 15 of their friends.
if they're not cowards.
It's like splitting up.
a pack of sheep.
You know, the herd on its own can look intimidating coming towards you. But when you get one on their own, they're absolutely terrified. And that's exactly how this guy handled the situation. He looked at each one of them as a one-on-one situation, a one-on-one man-on-man confrontation. And when they got that look and when the guys made eye contact with him, or when they brushed past him,
None of those people wanted to fight him. And that's the way the real world is.
Thank you.
This takes me back to my original point.
What those Indian miners did
by putting the masks on the back of their head may seem
so insignificant and so stupid and by all means, please Google it, they look ridiculous.
But all it takes is the tiniest...
of little steps in the tiniest of little details
to deter physical confrontation and to stay out of conflict.
The reason behind this is because most men
are cowards.
Most men don't want to fight you one on one. Occasionally you'll meet that guy
Every once in a while who thinks he can handle himself has a problem with you and wants to deal with you and will actually come forward wanting to fight you head on. But that's not the way the world is.
99.9% of men
cannot throw a punch.
They can't throw a punch, they can't take a punch, and deep down they know it.
That's why tiny little
details.
can completely avoid conflict.
Now in the last 10 years,
Me and Andrew have had maybe
five or six physical altercations where hitting someone has become a necessity.
And every single time they've been very easy to deal with.
But on top of those, there have been at least 200 times
where somebody has wanted to hit me or Andrew, or somebody has thought something negative about me or Andrew, and it could have spiraled into a physical altercation.
had I been in the wrong company,
or had I displayed the wrong body language.
That's a massive part of conflict avoidance.