Transcript
Bing bong. Ooh, raw milk. No, no, I don't want to fight. No, I'm doing ice bath and raw milk. I can't buy a pillow. I don't know.
Long time no see, friends. Oh, look who's back. Bing bong. The old Dairy Queen.
You've been waiting for that one. Yeah I have. Yeah I have, I believe. Dairy Queen. People on Take Confidential don't, they don't know. They don't know? They don't know. They don't know that you poisoned yourself and almost died by drinking raw milk after I specifically told you not to and you argued with me for about 20 minutes about how great it was. From Desert Cows. You wanted the diamond watch or this watch? Diamond watch. That's the wrong diamond watch though. I didn't see another one. Bro, double your watches and solenoids and pools anyway. Doesn't know what to fucking do, Rev. Alright, do it.
I encourage you. Don't tell me what to do. No, no, no, bring it. Listen. Yeah, bro. No diamonds allowed in the sauna. It'll shine too bright. However, I refuse to turn on you when we should be making fun of Dairy Queen. Therefore, I'm instantly going to pivot back to the fact that
that Bailey nearly died from milk that he shouldn't have been drinking. Ooh, raw milk.
You know what's weird about health? Men will do anything it takes to avoid fighting.
I say to men, eat loads of steak and go fight. Oh, I don't-- you know, yeah, I'm into raw milk and, you know, ice baths.
You'll do anything it takes to avoid getting punched in the face. Be a man and go fight. Be a man and go fight. - No, tell him that I'm not gonna do- - No, no, I don't want to fight. No, I'm doing ice bath and raw milk. I get it.
any kind of coke bullshit go fight everything else is gay everything else is gay let me split it so a doctor came to this house because you were completely immobilized immobilized i'm not going to show his face because i told him i wouldn't but let me play the doctor's voice now here's the video i made with the doctor so in your medical uh in your medical opinion and you were a qualified doctor here in this house here to treat baby what do you think caused this problem so the most common
- The addition of raw milk or raw milk. - Okay, raw milk. - The larger meta point here is why is anyone doing anything besides just beating the fuck out? Fighting's all that matters. Everything else is gay. - Eat some steak and go boxing. - Eat some steak and go fight. This is why at 38, I look like fucking Hercules. All I do is smoke. - All right, I'm officially anti-raw anything. - Yeah. - No more sushi. Sushi's gay. - You gotta hit bitches raw. - Yeah. - Right?
Well...
We're all dogging only. Let's go.
I'm going to take up professional line dancing. When you least expect it, you're going to get served. No, when you least expect it, I'm going to line dance at you. And it's going to get you. Watch this space. I'm looking for a photo. He goes, Can you carry a pillow? I said, yes. Why are you carrying a pillow? Because I bought it. I was like, oh, can I have a photo?
What did he expect to answer?
- I can't buy a pillow. What am I not allowed?
Why are you carrying a pillow? Because I fucking bought it, nigger. What do you want? Close your ass. It's like the old days. We're in the Escalade. Old days a couple weeks ago. Bailey, this is back in the old days. This is back in the old days. I remember. Yeah, back in the old days. Tristan, we're back. Back to the old days. These are the olden days where Bailey was filming. I'm filming Bailey film. We're in the back of the Escalade. This is the olden days. That was a few weeks ago. No, the olden days. Back in the day.
where's andrew that's all we need and then we can get our drop the phone that's okay look there's a reason move forward andrew admit this is a throwback yeah no suicide hotline unfortunately is there none no we don't have internet ah so that's the one shame so i guess i'll just have to kill myself yeah well you might have tristan don't you want to stop him all milk that will do the trick
embarrassing way to go down. In fact, if raw milk were to hurt you,
That'd be very, very gay, wouldn't it? Especially if your name were like bulletproof something. Yeah, if that was your nickname, your nickname started with bulletproof, you'd think that raw milk wouldn't get you. You'd think that, you'd be fine. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you're bulletproof. Yeah, I know, bullets can't hurt you. Yeah, if bullets can't hurt you, how could something like raw milk that baby cows drink get you? True. How could that happen? Where's the villa by? It's a real life. What's the place called? It's called Poop. It's called Poop. I knew you were going to get a beer. What do you mean? Labbronina, yeah?
Bugatti? So I'm in the back. Just so you're not allowed back here. Just so you're not allowed back here. Just stolen my seat. Of all the things I want to do, sitting next to you is last on my list. It's not. That's why you chose this spot. Please take us to Poo Poo. It's not called Poo Poo. Then I bet we get there. Really, if we get there, I'll admit it that it might be called Poo Poo.
- It's a crown and it doesn't put up on me. Close your eyes. I will push you off when you're not looking because I don't like you at all. Close your eyes. - Close him.
- Yeah.
Here we go, poo poo. Thanks for that. Villa Banya, ah. Nice. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Search for. Search for. Search for? Search for, yeah. Okay.
Hailey, what is this? I don't know. This is actually the last thing I expected. Dance, damn it. So what do we have here? Explain things to me. I'm confused.
- Poofer? Nice. - What's this place called? - That's what I call it. Guess what I'm doing. - Wait. - Did you go, did you go. - The best view is white. - Wait, I'm seeing that this place lives up to its name.
- Timo. - Stinger? - Yes, Timo. - Okay. - What are we doing? - Never done, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Really? No.
Yeah? None of us drink. The only way to stop being Dairy Queen is for you to down all those. You don't want to be Dairy Queen your whole life, do you? How many shots would I have to down to not be Dairy Queen? One, two, three, four, five, six. I feel like that's actually light work. Yeah, exactly, light work. I think you underestimate this horse strategy. Two more people are coming. Am I dreaming? Am I still under some, like, raw milk coma? There's this weird Russian music playing. Drink this antidote. I will admit that this looks bad. I did not expect this out. Bailey, I was sold a spa. That's what I was sold. I was sold a spa and I imagine, like, okay, a super luxury.
luxurious spa, like some-- I was sold something about grass, and they'll use grass somehow. I wasn't sold something different. I was sold spa. My life isn't complete until I learn all the lyrics to this song. You're never gonna learn the lyrics to this song. Ever. Shazam this. No. Don't shazam it. No one's gonna shazam it. Make sure your life can never be complete. And shazam it, please.
I need to know. The next song. And now it's done. Yeah, but I'll learn the next one. You're really committed to that one. You can't just change your commitments. Bailey, would you like some antidote? If you dry scoop fire blood and then drink all of these, you'll be better for him. I don't think I tell that word. That sounds horrible. If you dry scoop fire blood and drink six shots of random Russian alcohol, I promise we'll stop calling you Dairy Queen. That's true Dairy Queen. You have to stop then. Listen, Dairy Queen, there's a way out. Don't live with that forever. You'd get a cooler name like The Bear Man. I don't know. Something cooler. Wait, guys.
he worked about he's in a dream this is inception you're in a dream and i'm the one here who's trying to wake you up back into the real world next to your hospital bed i'm next to your hospital bed i've been sent into your dream to tell you the only way to get out is to dry scoop fire blood and drink these six shots of alcohol then you'll wake up in hospital and you'll be okay if not you're gonna stay in this coma fever dream forever i've been in a coma for five days exactly and now all of a sudden i'm in a russian bath house yes we're trying to help we're your friends we wouldn't
diapers in this in this bed bailey i wouldn't come down here into your subconscious to tell you this if i didn't care about you you should do it that's why it's called poo poo because you're in a hospital bed pooing yourself yeah you see it all makes sense the subliminal messaging is trickling in where's your job here we have shorts hats pro slippers everything
it'll take three men and one girl for dairy queens bailey the dairy queen thing might stick it might
Yeah, but you're a Dairy Queen. That's why it happened to you. It didn't happen to me. It's super funny because Luke, you are responsible for this. I'm not responsible for all. You were like, "Baby, I got the best raw milk ever." Yeah, I did. I gave him the hookup. And you pasteurized it. Yeah, I did pasteurized it. And you didn't tell me. No, I did. You asked him what I told you I pasteurized it. But you didn't drink it super raw. And it turns out raw milk can actually get you sick. It turns out. I mean, I guess for Dairy Queen. For me, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm bulletproof. Bulletproof Luke. You came full of drinking a glass of milk without crying.
I need a hat and a rope. That's what I need. It looks like this is what I need. And the chains look cool with it.
Oh Bailey, there's loads. Remember when Tristan said don't bring the chain, don't bring the watch? Tristan's like oh no no it's gonna heat up and the diamonds are gonna fall off.
That is exactly what you said. I will cut back to that clip. It's never your watches and saunas and pools anyway. So Bailey's interested in things watches.
You go down from heat.
Thank you. You're doing the wrong dance. The correct dance is actually... Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey
Oh, okay. - Me too. You guys like the...
- Environment, the area. - Yeah. - It's good. - You're the one who showed us the Russian karaoke bar. - To the dance floor. - I think it's a great way to celebrate, like, having fun, you know? It's the only place that's open until 6:00 a.m. and, um... - That's the real reason.
Exposed. No, no, it's fun. It's fun singing. Andrew had a great voice, you know? You remember that one time, you know, we did a little duet together?
Guys, I hope this is like a nice chill evening, you know? That's what we're here for right now. Rob, until you put a hat on, I ain't listening to anything you say. Same. With no hat, you have no opinion. I actually do need to change. Imagine listening to the no hat. Maybe we have a hat. Imagine Bailey. Bailey has a hat. That's the only reason I listen to him.
So if you want to take your health seriously, first thing you need is a scoop of fire blood. Okay, so I'm going to drink fire blood. It's going to taste like pain. It tastes like pure pain. People don't realize that. It tastes horrible. Nice marble red, cowboy killer. Fire blood? Fuck that. You need it bro, make it stronger. Mmm. It's not good. It's not a good thing. When the repowering is complete, second cigarette. If you disagree with my health protocol, you can fight me anytime you want.
I will admit he can beat me up. So it's very hard to argue with the logic when someone can beat you up. It's very very hard. What's health other than being able to beat someone else up?
I'm the bastion and pinnacle of health. You're right.
I put on gloves, 10 years retired, and I beat up a bunch of active fires.
This is why. Marlboro Reds, cowboy killers.
a man of taste and distinction.
♪
♪ Ca ♪
KALINKA, KALINKA, KALINKA, KALINKA, MYA!
I can't do the timing.
This is where you normally drink loads. Thank you so much.
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But the chain is... It's gold. It's gonna burn. Is it like a burn? I told him so. You know, I like saying I told you so, but to no one as much as you, baby. You guys can go on that side. Ah, this is the hot side.
So that's it, Asad? No, the whole side's hot, I'll be real. Everything's hot. This one looks good, I'm gonna have a heyday. So this is one of those situations where I invite you to something and I don't expect you to actually do it,
happens and then he gets a bit big. Good man, how are you? I'm good. Yeah, yeah. Hello. Thank you. How was that? How do you feel good? I said everything will be revealed with time. That's what I said, yes? I don't understand. He doesn't speak English. Everything will be revealed with time. Everything will be revealed with time.
How do you know that phrase? In what world would you need that phrase? For this exact moment. I knew he was going to ask. That's the kind of thing Russians say as an answer though.
- Yeah. - Like, are you gonna kill me? - Everything will be really good. - With time. - It's a very scary answer. - Yeah. - If someone told you that, if a big guy like Tristan told me that, I'd be like, okay, am I kidnapped? - Yeah. - Are my organs gone? - I'm in traffic. - This is the woman.
Nice.
Smell it, uncle.
Thank you.
*laughs* Only Cyrus would have it. Bagunik. You're gonna thank me so much after this. Bro, it feels good. So far I actually like it. If you need me to translate anything to the Russian guy, tell me. My dog doesn't drink apples. That's not true. I just told him, my dog does not eat apples. *laughs* I mean, like he said mine.
-
- Okay.
Anything else?
I took six washing lessons bro.
I've spent the past 24 hours trying to recover from critical dehydration. Now I'm in the sauna. Sweating my balls off. Bailey, what if I told you this is all part of the plan? Everything will be revealed in time. Guys, we did $5 ,000 worth of IV treatments.
to get me back to normal. No, the reason you think you're sweating is like a dream. You are sweating in your dream because you're sweating in real life because you're still on that. You're still in the hospital bed. You're in the hospital bed. You just need to take the six shots. Just drink it. It's the only way out. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. Now the ice park. No, not for me. Yes. Do it for him. Do it for him, please. No, no, no, no. It's a part of the experience. No, I don't want it. No cold. It's so cold. It's actually not cold. It's fine. I highly doubt it.
*laughs*
It's not good.
No, no, no, no, no. It's not good. Meat was better. You just break the foundation of this place. I'm big. What do you want? I'm big. I want this to win now.
I'm sure Russians are big too.
Your name Bailey?
I'll get in.
*crash*
Alright, you're tall.
I can't go all the way down. You can't go all the way down? I can't get my head on dog too tall. Ah, so Bailey
There's a really cool... say again? - I meant the GoPro died. - The GoPro died. - Yeah, it over-eated. - I'm on my main cam. - The GoPro that's meant to go to volcanoes is dead.
It did die. - So we're stronger than volcanoes.
It seems like it. Evidence is here.
I mean, you can bring the GoPro back if you want, and we can try again. Thank you. It'll quit before we do. I'm willing to beat you. You outlasted the GoPro. Real niggers. Yeah. How is it?
You look like you're roasting in hell. It is roasting, but it's not as bad as it was. Because the door's open. I know. I know why. I know the reason, Mr. Science Boy.
I know why.
Are these hard things good for us? Struggle brings you closer to God.
If you imagine a man who truly believes in God and finds strength from God, he suffers. And if you imagine a man who's born with a perfect life, perfect parents, endless money,
No adversity, no struggle, nothing ever goes wrong.
doesn't need to train, he's skinny, nobody ever attacks him. That man is an evil hedonist, he's petty.
kind of person who will hurt those weaker than him.
try and
use his influence and power for nefarious purposes.
People who only have pleasures in their life do not experience connection with God, friend.
but all of the suffering you see. Suffering
So it reminds you
that the light is light and the dark is dark.
This is why God gives us suffering in the first place. So many people pray for their suffering to end not understanding that Suffering is a reason they're praying in the first place. So is this good for us? Well, I
It's been a while since you've appreciated fresh air, isn't it, friend?
- It has, it has. I appreciate fresh air. - I would argue it is good for us. I would argue all suffering is good for us, and God wants us to suffer to show
that we deserve his blessings. That's why if you're lazy, you're never lucky. And if you work hard and you suffer, somehow, you always believe.
Up, up, over!
Jump in. Jump in the water. Nice. Nice work.
One butler.
*laughs*
Lay down, lay down. I'll go back in there for a second.
I'll go back in that torture chamber before I get back in that water. I tried to film it, but it was unfilmable. Tell them what happened.
They don't know.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Come on Luke. What's next? You wanna sit on the balcony and watch the sunset, faggot? You're gonna find out, nigger. Kick you in your fucking gookie head. Marcel, I cannot wait for you to drown in the men's rain. This is where Marcel died. Ultimate swimming contest. He swallowed a fucking whole mouth. Electrolytes.