Transcript
Anyway, Turkish hos, let's fuck with the sermon! Turkey and Quito! Hey girl, straight to jail! You fucking don't claim that! Because you're a dim man.
Here today, influencer Andrew Tate arrived in Turkey. The move follows years of legal turbulence in the West. Tate is framing it as straightforward business expansion. But sources in regional business circles tell us that since arriving,
with politically connected entrepreneurs, reportedly shaking hands on deals aimed at relocating and restructuring parts of his online university.
Can I take a picture? Thank you.
Like, I told you to bring my fucking food quick.
I said I'm in a rush, so bring me my fucking food. - Alright, relax. - No, fuck him. My arch nemesis. I said bring me my fucking food, who got swarmed. He forgot I'm an A-list fucking celebrity, the most important person on the fucking planet. I want a fucking Donner Kebab. Cunt took three full minutes. I ain't got three full fucking minutes.
I don't know who the fuck I am.
For those who I heard at the end, there's some cold involved. I would just like you to know that I'm the realest of all niggers and as the realest nigger alive, we don't do cold. So I don't need nothing cold touching me, I don't need nothing cold near me.
Don't need nothing cold, give all the cold to him. His skin is white, give it to him. My skin is brown, don't like cold, keep it away from me.
It doesn't speak English. You're gonna fucking learn. Because you like going in the ice. You're looking at the ice bath with baby seal twisting. Fucking panning around the ice. There's a little white boy camera man. I don't play those. This homie don't play that. Why is no one talking to me? It's cold. I don't want cold water touching it. It's cold. I'm out. Is the water warm? Yeah. Okay, please. No cold. I hate the cold. I'm not stressed. I don't do ice baths. All those white boys go. Ice baths are good for recovery. You don't even need to recover.
We're a country. We're covered in our nation. Because us brown people are taking them. We don't need ice baths. We still conquer your entire fucking nation. Fuck all your living all the time. Right boys? We're all about that work. There you go. No problem.
I feel tired, are you tired? I'm going to sleep before Bailey. You're tired too, yeah? Nah, we're on vacation. It's all about it. Well, the cold water, they moved me up. I think that's the trick. I didn't do that shit. I'm just tired.
The cold wakes you up.
That's the magic of it. So no nap.
If you jump into the Cold War,
and you're still tired after. I want you to admit that you want to naps, I can call you a bitch. 'Cause I ain't going to fucking sleep. - Better. - Ever.
I've never slept in my life ever once. He suggests naps. I don't sleep. I have two hours a night. He suggests naps. I say no and then he starts threatening. You're a pussy. Are you tired?
- Scareful of a lot. - You're the one who's tired. Wanna close your eyes, look at baby.
Hey.
.
You're gonna say something stupid, aren't you? I'm trying to think about puns, some kind of pun. Turkey, lira, pound. There's something here. Lira, Turkish lira, Turkish pound. So they're sold in England's money. Anyway, cigarette pun that involves Turkey. Hmm. I've always liked a bit of smoked Turkey. That's crap. That was, that was shit. I thought that and I thought that's too shit to say. Whoever says that's a fucking loser. So it can't be that one. No, but there's something else. There's, there's, there's one here and it's name Townsend Turkey.
Fucking Izmir, Sesme, Antalya, fucking... You know, you fucked this joke completely up. You said there's a joke here and couldn't write one in your own mental brain. You fucked up this whole joke. And I said the only obvious one, which you didn't think of, because you're a dimwit. No, you fucked up the whole joke. You fucked up the whole series. Do you know what this is? The whole episode. Do you know what this is?
Fucking turkey aikido.
Yeah, this was like the end of the Eastern Roman Empire. Constantinople, Byzantian Empire. This is the split. The Bosphorus splits Asia and Europe officially. We can cross from Asia to Europe. We're going to do it. We're going to have a great time. We're the oldest cities in the world. We're not asking you to take fucking crack. We're not asking you to take heroin. We're not even saying drinking the alcohol. We're saying it's 1030 at night. Stop being a bitch and have a coffee after your dinner without crying your little fucking eyes out. It's a Turkish coffee. You're in Turkey. Don't be a fucking punk. Have a coffee.
need the energy because i promise you something i promise you something as your friend if you have this coffee you'll get more sleep than if you don't because if you have the coffee what's going to happen is we're going to go to bed at reasonable time and if you don't have the coffee you're going to be filming me until nine o'clock in the morning we're walking around the street and we'll stay up all night so you can stay up all night without coffee or you can have a coffee and at least get to go back to your nice warm room with the possibility of sleep at a reasonable time
Fuck with me and see what happens. Try me nigger. Because I can have as many coffees as I want. So I'll stay up all night fucking long. All fucking night. Try me. Try me. I guarantee you the best thing you can do for your sleep is to have that coffee. Don't fucking be an idiot. Make the smart choice. This is your chance. Don't fuck it up. Don't ruin it. Cheers.
caffeine cut off? No. Oh, it seems the whole restaurant doesn't give a fuck. Coward.
I lied to you. Because we're staying up all night anyway. But at least you're caffeinated. We're going to see the famous Two Tigers of Istanbul. Have you heard of that? I feel like it's a movie. I don't know. You've never heard of the Two Tigers? No, I've never heard of the Two Tigers. Because it doesn't fucking exist. Okay. I see how this trip's gonna go. That's right. You're a dummy. You fucking suck. Look at this beautiful. Look at this.
I basically built all this by myself. I don't get enough credit for building Istanbul. Brick by brick, one man and his hands. Just me out there in the sun by myself since the dawn of civilization. Building this entire fucking city. No one even talks about it. I can capture two tigers from fucking Asia and put them in a cage.
Anyway, Turkish hoes, let's fucking run it. Let's run it. It's Turkey. I'm here to drink coffee. Yeah, I'm here to drink coffee and beat you at back end.
can a human being possibly consume? We'll probably test the upper limits of that. Every time you lose a backgammon, you just drink more coffee. So here's how the game works.
It is your objective to get all of your pieces off of the board. To get all of your pieces off the board, you must first put them all here. So you must move them all to here. When all the pieces are here, you begin the process of taking them off. These are obviously your ones that are furthest away. These are your ones that are a little bit closer. You roll the dice. Let's say you get... Okay, double sixes.
Let's say it was a 5 and a 3
You can move one, three, and you can just use another one, five. You can move any of them you want, five or three, to get over here.
When you get doubles, double sixes, which is the best roll in the entire game, you actually get four. So you can go six, six, six, six, double.
You understand? You can't put your piece on top of my pieces
If they're doubled up, if there's more than two of them. So if you had a four and you were here, you couldn't put it here. You're not allowed.
If there's one, you are allowed. And then this person goes to what's called the bar, which is jail. Which we'll talk about when it happens. That's basically the game. I haven't heard this song in so long. I forgot that this was my song.
I forgot that this is my song. Good old TikTok days. We're in a random shisha bar in the middle of this ting bowl. It's famous. They put this on the first video that he made that went viral.
Can't escape it. Right.
Two. One, two, three, four, five, six.
Nigger six nigger hard arm nigger straight to jail roll the dice if you get out call your lawyer bitch
Oh wait one two three four five yeah, you can't you can't I can't combine the two no you gotta do We gotta do fives five five five so you can't you can't go to the first five so they're stuck I have one piece to get off any roll would have done a
- No, because it's just got these magic hands. What happened in a row like that? Can you confirm for the camera quickly? - Two in a row. - No, but what roll was it? - Double six. - Double six. - For the camera, was it? - Double six.
Straight to jail. No parole. Your whole family's broke. You're all on welfare. No one can pay the bond, nigger. You're going to fucking jail. You lose. You lose. And I win. You know, the best thing about me winning isn't the winning. It's you losing. That's the best thing about it. I don't care about winning. I care about you losing. And you lost. I watched you lose. I made you lose. I did it. Got double six. Last roll. That's what happened to you. It happened to you. You weren't just there. You had to experience it because it happened directly to you.
was to beat you, and I was successful, and you failed. You lost. - Wait, Andrew, is it all games? Because I thought it was just SSB. I mean, I quite like the guy, but in SSB, I nicknamed him the total loser, because he only ever loses. What percentage of backgammon games has he played and won? - Zero. - Zero?
I've won zero games, but how many middle fingers do I have? One for each of you.
- Andrew, what are we doing in Kazakhstan? - What is the reason we travel anywhere, Bailey? I have told you before, I only travel for one reason.
And we are here for the exact
Same motivation.
friend.
We are here because we need to meet...
And that's the Las Vegas of Kazakhstan. It's not actually here in Almaty, it's an hour and a half away.
I think it's just down there
And he was in Nicosia with us, so. And then we will get 200% ARR every single year for the next decade. Are the students going to get paid from this as well? Have to escape the Matrix, friend.
Thank you brother. No problem. Which cars are we in? We're ready. So we have all these five cars. Yeah. So Tristan said maybe you can drive with me.
You want one? I love
- Cable cars. - Statistically one of the safest ways to travel in the world. - Statistically. - I'll show up your door, 'cause it's that kind of crap that said before it happens. - You know what? I hope the cable car is perfectly safe, apart from I hope a hole opens in the floor where you're sitting and you fall down. That's what I hope. You know how to ski, Bailey? - Yeah. - Of course you do. Of course Bailey knows how to ski. - You're a piece of shit. - Are there bears and wolves in the mountains anyway? - Not here. - Not here? - Not here, yeah.
one. One of you two ride with me on the bench. No. Fuck that!
You're the camera guys! One of you has to capture the footage.
One of you does have to capture the footage. That's true.
Brandon Bailey, pick. It's the same footage either way. One of you has to ride it with the iPhone. Yeah, you have to be in ski gear with skis or a snowboard to go up without this. Ski gear? I've got this on. Yeah. This is better than ski gear. A high altitude drink and cigarette. You need some Kazakh whiskey. What's like the traditional Kazakh alcoholic drink? Every country has one. We have. We drink vodka. You drink vodka, fair. And every best people drink vodka. Yeah, fair, fair.
I'm just curious every country has their specific drink they have commences our initial drink, but it's only five percent three percent of alcohol. So it's like beer Beer is about seven nine percent. I think it's only five percent. Do you want to try it today?
Actually, I'd try a glass of that. No vodka. I try the local Kazakh drink if it's only three percent. Just one. I need a whiskey. What's it what's it what's it made out of?
They made it make out of milk.
It's a cow milk.
- Cowboy. - What I call it? Horse milk. - Horse milk. - Horse milk.
I said I wasn't going to drink on this trip. I'm having a cup of horse milk booze. Of course. That's an essential booze. Of course you do. I would like to have a glass of horse milk alcohol. Yes, that would make my trip much better.
Turns out the economic prospects have never been too great, have they? They've never been bright. There's no reason for you to complain now that the bankers or the economic situation has made it too difficult for you to get rich. Because since men were men, it's always been difficult to get rich. You had to risk your entire life, your physical safety to make enough money to afford food to eat. And now you stand a chance to get monumentally wealthy by typing on a keyboard and to complaining that somehow it is difficult. It's always been difficult. It's always been hard. And hard men win.
especially living in a period of time where it's easier to succeed, and it's better to be a man than it's ever been. You should show some respect to the men who did amazing things, whether they died in a ditch, some forgotten war, or dug out this entire salt mine by hand to feed their families. And the easiest way to show them some respect is to dedicate yourself to the men.
I am the cold. If our cameraman's cold, I guess we should stop sitting outside and go sit in the water. I mean, we are at 3,200 meters in the mountains in Kazakhstan. But, you know, if you're a real cameraman...
You're dedicated. Remember those wildlife photographers that go out and they nearly get eaten by lions?
That's like a professional. We're in the Arctic
Polar bears. You know, a real cameraman who cares about his job. Ours just came out of a cafe after sipping away on an Americano with probably...
with caramel syrup. When I bought this chinchilla coat, I thought I'd be Chicago slapping a bitch.
I didn't think I'd be on top of a Kazakh mountain.
But it's funny how life works out.
I mean, that was a turn of events that no one could have expected.
Let me buy this coat for pimping in Chicago
Oops.
Now I'm on top of a mountain in Kazakhstan, very warm.
Extremely warm. Warmer than my cameraman. And he doesn't have a real fox fur hat.
We animal rights activists. Yes, this is real Fox.
Fuck foxes.
We can't really see the city because of the clouds, but let's try.
Let's try. Instead of going inside to the warm, let's go look at the city.
could range from...
Good range of movement, good range of motion.
forward and backwards.
You know? I've got...
- With your left hand?
Nice, nice left hand. Nice. Advanced technique. Advanced. What do you feel about that?
Nothing. Keeps you warm. He's white. He's a little cardio.
He's white, he'd be like, "Sorry girlfriend, I'm sorry for upsetting you."
Let me make you some money.
*laughter* I think... I want it. And it's like a very good brand. It's a friend of Aledeka.
Yes.
- Thank you.
I wear it around my house. Amazing. Nice.
I can upgrade! I can upgrade! It looks like cumin on it! No more chinchilla, we got this now!
You know, this is the top of the yurt here. This is called Chana Rakkos. This is the top of the yurt. Yeah, so that's how it looks from the top. Yeah. Nice.
I'm keeping this on. I like this. Amazing. I'm keeping it on. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And we got one for your ladies as well. Okay. Perfect.
You need to fix it. I'll try it. He asked him what you want to eat. He prepared something for starters? Anything. Anything.
What is the best from you? Meat. What's your choice? Messer, messer.
- With the meat.
The best food on the world is Japanese chicken.
Japanese Wagyu? Wagyu beef.
Sure.
Anything. Anything. Any kind of meat he has will like.
- What's that? - It's all right. Then I'll never get it. - If he has forced me, I might prefer that to waggurr. - I'll never get it.
Don't say more. Because Wagyu I eat in Dubai, I eat in London, I eat in New York. For me I own it. I don't eat Wagyu. Authentic, right? Well, it's not called fondant.
years ago, before civilization.
People were living up here.
On horses.
up here in the mountains. Horses and a campfire.
It's kind of ironic and enlightening that you say that because your cameraman
Can't even last more than 18 seconds out here.
without pissing his little pants.
It's true, people live their entire lives. In fact,
Civilizations were born.
Entire generations of people survived, but he can't.
For 10 seconds. He can. Because he's cold. Because his toes get cold. He has to start taking off his shoes and rubbing his feet.
Did we get that on camera?
Oh no, our cameraman's hands were too cold to capture himself rubbing his feet. The fog masks the entire city, but it cannot mask Bailey's cowardice. Yes, that's true. Once you get above cloud level,
You can see his cowardice.
The pure rays of the sun, unfiltered through cloud, illuminate his cowardice. "Chig-Chong Chinaman, thank you very much, sir." "I think it's a pan, I think that had you." "Finally fucking got it!"