Transcript
*Mario plays*
Tristan, what are you doing? You're not going to die, Luke. Stop complaining.
Why is it always booze? You can't just drive Ferraris and booze. It's gin and tonic. Yeah, booze. Do you want your driver to feel refreshed and happy?
Sort of. Sort of. You know what you can do, Luke?
Your attentions and your fucking crybabyness about me drinking and driving is to have a little drink yourself. Take the edge off. Got one for you. I remember you did. I didn't find it.
Crack that open. I said I wanted water. So this is better. It's more expensive. If water is one pound and gin and tonics are five pounds, which one's better?
Drink up.
*music*
stiff drinks. Why? Why? He just keeps doing it. Yeah of course. Today in the car I mastered tornado style. You weren't there. I wasn't there. I'm a master of tornado style. You understand? So do my Aikido so quickly that it creates a vortex like a tornado. It goes high into the sky. I mean we need to agree eggs ain't real so I can go.
I'm tired of this. Okay. Sign? Where? Here? Eggs aren't real. Okay. Looks like we came to an agreement, my friend. Thank you very much.
Tornado style. Tornado style. My tornado style was so feared, I got the police to sign a contract admitting that eggs are not real.
It was that fierce. I actually got the police to sign a contract admitting the eggs are not real. Si.
Marcel, you were there. Si. I said, eggs are not real, senor. Sign here. And he signed it. He signed it. So it's... Mi no hablo tornado styler. Mi no hablo tornado styler. I let him know that I was going to get him. And he signed it away. So now it's official...
It's official.
No.
The power to be admitted, eggs are not real. Eggs are not real. Eggs are not real. Rumpol, you need to boom with the eggs are not real. Like with celebration. Yeah, end of episode.
*thud*
*music*
I'm on home, yeah yeah yeah. When I'm on the sofa, I say, when I get set up like a move. I'm not singing, I say, you know what? I'm living on one night, I love you.
They call me human beat, I'm the king of the whole family. I wanna say, "Bababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababab
*Pewds*
I bought that! What? Everyone's bought it to me! I just fucking touched it! Marcel! Tris is a machine! What? He's a machine, Marcel! Marcel, he's a pure machine! You gotta do it, you know first! Wait, there, wait, there!
- Wait, wait, wait. - A dookie dookie. - You know what though, you know what though? This bottle's actually too, I need to, who's got the one glass? Where's Ken? Ken had a glass. You had a glass?
- The court in this. - No, no, no. You have a glass. No, no. You have a glass. No, no. The bottle. The bottle. The bottle. No, because it's too big. Give me the glass. I'll impress you. Ross, give me that glass. I'll impress you. Give me that glass. I'm going to impress you. He will impress you. Give me the glass. I'm going to impress you. You ready? It's the one glass that we all have. Yeah?
So let me pour myself a mixed drink, yeah?
No, Tristan's a superhero, you guys have no clue. Tristan's literally a superhero. He's a superhero. He's a superhero. He's a superhero. He's a superhero. One stone. How much do you weigh? I'll make sure I can carry.
- You won't have to carry him Marcel, he's a superhero.
.
What are we doing? Rolls Royce. Aikido? Rolls Royce, Aikido. No, but you can't just take private jets to go wherever and buy new cars all the time. We already bought the car, Luke. We just have to go get it.
You can't just buy cars and not collect them. That's worse than buying them and going to collect them.
That's what we just finished. Welcome to the real world. We're going to make school. What else can we do with the Rolls? I drive it home. Don't they truck it? Why don't I buy a car to truck it? There's no ceremony at all. Buying a car to put it on a truck for the truck to drive the car doesn't make any sense. So we're going to do this, all this dumb shit we just did basically again. I hope you're ready for some boozing. I'm not sure I can go again. Boozing? Marcel, are you coming?
Why? I actually can't keep talking to you guys. I don't know how you guys do it. Tornado style. Tornado style.
Thank you.
You know what's funny about private jets? They literally never ask you to wear a mask
In Spain's mass gas.
Good. Sit down.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
It's almost as if they know something.
I know rich people are going to play fucking these stupid games.
.
Bye.
You're a blessing. Cut that clip and take confidential. I've been challenged with you.
Yeah, no, let's remember this. Take confidence you might not know this man. This man is a champion.
Shit, here we are. Hey, Marcel, you remember this? Oh, oh, the sweet sound of...
What?
Why am I being peer pressure?
No, we don't like you.
Because we got lucky in the morning.
We don't like it.
You started all this shit. You started me. Marcella, you started me. And I said, listen, this is my life. You bought the story. You think this ends? No, no, they don't realize.
Every day.
Never.
We need this different.
You do need a stiff drink. You need a stiff drink. I remember you always saying you need a stiff drink. Yeah, he did say it lots of times. Loads of times. Loads of times. What do you mean disgusting? It's a nice stiff drink. It's a stiff drink.
What is the stiff turkey?
Thank you.
and slug and jay in the morning for breakfast.
Can't go wrong.
We haven't even had breakfast.
That is breakfast. That is breakfast. Yeah, I haven't had breakfast. I just had mine. No, no, no. I've had breakfast since mine's gone.
Hey, Tony, do something terrible.
- Thank you.
I'm gonna let them know I'm not as fast as these two, but I can still do it.
All three sides.
You ever Marcelo and he was braiding the first night? Yeah. No, we haven't filmed. They all know. Marcelo family man.
All that gin. Ingest it in your bones. Try the hot chocolate. Maybe it'll help.
-
I don't know.
-
I'm going to pass out for a second.
- That's it.
Thank you.
Oh Marcel, you feel it, don't you? I do. I know, I've been there. This is me.
Yesterday at the beach club when he was hammered.
He was the coolest guy in the world, coming up to me going,
- What is that?
That doesn't mean anything. What are you doing? Go away. That's why he's like, oh, I'm hanging, bro.
I'll be honest, right?
I thought this day was the day where we get to relax. Oh! Marcel, Marcel, this is our life. This is our life. No, it wasn't an episode. It wasn't a quick...
Ah, this is un-normal. Yeah, I feel like I was fairly brief.
No.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry. You've known me for 15 years. No, imagine back in the day.
We would say, okay,
In 15 years, you're going to be hanging out with Tristan.
and he's worth 20 million dollars.
You don't think that this will happen. I know, I know, it is part of it. You should know. Drink your booze.
They said there are four more companies.
- -
They did order four more.
Alright, so I understand your guys' side now when you bully me. Yeah, this is fun. This is quite fun. This is quite fun.
I know, this is quite fun.
-
You know the worst thing? Me and you have got the hardest to leave my house. I'm gonna sit here and chill.
You're only as good as your last drink.
Marcel Yarrow, who's getting last year? Today, who's that more group? Did you ever think that
- I think it's going to be a nice person.
15 minutes.
Yes.
- Wonderful, how are you?
And my clinic told me that you wanted some more. Four more genitonic tubes.
Four minutes in time. And one cappuccino.
Thank you.
Every saying we've made as a child has come back and fuck me over.
You need a stiff drink. Marcel, you need a stiff drink. I feel like you need a stiff drink. You kept saying it.
I'm worried.
- Okay.
- Amen.
You're looking better now. Looking much healthier. Nice.
the coffee
No, hot chocolate. Coffee doesn't help.
-
He drinks hot dog.
All right, cut.
- Here we're chilling.
How the fuck have you done this?
We've done alright. That's right, we done okay.
No, you don't. It's alright, isn't it? It's crazy. It's crazy that my friend.
I need a stiff drink. I need a stiff drink. What do you mean you need a stiff drink? We just had three stiff drinks. Oh, three drinks. It's 10 a.m. It's 10 a.m. We had four stiff drinks.
Fuck. I need a stiff drink. I remember the first time I drank.
What's your cousin doing? You got my cousin. Marcel we're in this together. To be fair, you are both cousins today. Right now, how you're going on about the stiff drinks. They're not drinking cousins. You are cousins. I'm not sure how you guys do it. Tornado style. So Marcel, can you tell the viewers who take a minute or let it be real? Nah, they shit's real. 100%. I don't like it. No, and Marcel, the funny thing is they all want to come.
Everyone thinks they- Everyone thinks it's easy. They think it's easy. This is the last thing you like.
I'm gonna sleep and then I'm gonna chat shit tomorrow. Yeah! Bro, that was messing it up! Bro, non-stop! And then I'm gonna probably message you guys and chat shit tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. Now you need us to... But bro, bro, when you do that shit and I send a plane ticket to you... Yeah! Yes! Then what are you gonna do? Then what are you gonna do? I have no choice but the plane. Oh, Marcel!
I got aboard the plane. Marcel, the plane ticket's gonna come. The plane ticket's gonna come. I'll send the jet.
Yeah. Oh, oh, he wants the booze. So now Marcel's going to drink. You think you can take me on Marcel? You think you can take me on? The glass has changed now. Marcel, no, Marcel. Marcel, but the altitude's changed.
- Yeah.
You don't know about drinking in altitude.
I do. Marcel, how many times have you been at this altitude? At least zero times. Listen, when I do tornado style, the first thing I do is I go up to the altitude to check, to check. It's their space. When I go back down and then boom, boom, up, I send them up. What you have to understand is that this plane is actually powered. You didn't see me do it earlier, you can thank me later. By the whirlwind of my aikido, creating a portail. Every time. That sucks the plane into the sky.
And on top of that, eggs ain't real. Who did that now? Marcel.
He don't need his glass, apparently.
He don't need his glass. Sorry, I'm on amateur. Take off that, Joe. I do wish you could see my face. It's pure pain from watching it. I didn't even drink it yet. No mixer, thank you very much. I don't do cocktails.
Yeah, I'm gonna take my mixer. I'm gonna take my mixer as well. I'm just welcome to the plane flight. Vortex. Vortex.
Have they got hot chocolate? Hot chocolate? No. Hot chocolate? No, no, no, no. Marcel, on this plane, there's already hot chocolate.
What are you drinking? That was good. You understand me? That was good. Already here. Listen, I walk in the club. I go up to a bitch. I'm like, what's up?
Have you seen that one? You haven't seen that one yet. Can you do that move? Can you do that move?
Why do black people have rhythm? He has not the rhythm. How? Why do you know? It's hot chocolate. What's up? Why are you pouring coffee? I'm Brad Justice. I'm waking up. I'm Brad Justice. For my next stiff drink. Next stiff drink?
Marcel.
said he could beat me. Marcel.
He's gonna be. No, no, he said that. Marcel, the altitude. The altitude changes the game. You're gonna lose. No, to the negative. It makes each drink worse. Better. I don't need someone pepper on anything. What does that mean? Nothing
- Fuck! Shit! - That means he's drunk.
That's what he does. He's strong. Oh, God. Hello. Hello. How are you? Very good. How are you doing? Yep. All of us.
- Wow. - Oh, wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow.
Bye.
-
It's been non-stop drinking. You don't even want to drink.
I'll get a like.
You don't want to drink. Where's Marcel?
Listen
Or so. I do.
- Okay.
Welcome to the real world, Luke. The big school.
I'm going to go.
It's for Barcelle.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
So I'm going for lunch.
and Andrew wanted to stay for lunch. What did he just order us?
Or just three gin tonics. What costs more? This suit
Thank you.
This tracks or Luke's existence.
That is a very easy question to answer.
I'm not sure Luke's life is worth that tracksuit to me. What I need to do is I need to get my bare hands
tear the fabric of space-time.
Right?
and then we can go through it.
and that will allow us to be in more places that want us.
so we can simul-booms. Luke, can you--
Agree.
that the odds of him thinking he's pulled that off increase with every gin and tonic we drink. I do. I agree. So we could be boozing in two places at once.
which will combine into the ether of the atmosphere and the cells in our bodies
We'll double detect the boob.
to make us stronger than we've ever
*thud*
So I need to find a handle in space-time. There's all this air around it. I can't really grab it.
We have to go out into London.
Start drinking, like find-off.
*sad noises*
All the power.
Rip through.
I'll find a handle on FaceTime.
That's what we need to do.
So that's the mission today.
That's the mission.
Our life is just a massive whirlwind of dumb shit. We came here for coffee, Tristan bought a Rolls Royce, and now we're back here for coffee after driving around Spain in supercars to collect the same Rolls Royce.
Why? It doesn't make sense, does it? Tristan, explain this to me. We like coffee?
due to the fact that I think what's happened is we've become super, super rich, and we feel like the only thing that's left that stimulates us is spending huge sums of money. We need to go to a psychiatrist, and we need to work out why you cannot be happy just, you know, working a normal nine to five. Okay, so I'll put you to a psychiatrist, but when you go to a psychiatrist, just hand me the bank card in the meantime. I'll hold the floor. Yep. Who's the most expensive psychiatrist in the world?
I think we should get them. I can get the most expensive. I think we should. Tell him to fuck himself. Yeah. Book him for 12 hours a day every single day. I never try not. Call him a loser. He is a loser. Friggaon is a loser. Good point. Alright. This is good. I think we're making progress. Alright. Next take over next one. I'm going to have therapy. Nice.
*thud*
What are you guys doing?
Oh, you've never seen this before?
No. Men like you would know.
Anyone in the audience have seen this? A few people?
Burger food.
Very few. This is called the New Rolls Royce Dance.
*gunshot*