Transcript
We're gonna do something we've never done on Take Speech before, and I'm gonna do a car review.
And the first car we're going to do is the brand new 911 992.
Right, the reason I'm doing this car review is because before I got this car, I watched a whole bunch of car reviews. And then I got the car, and nothing that they said in the car reviews was accurate. They all reviewed the car terribly. So this is going to be the most accurate car review. If you're watching take car reviews, it's not going to be some bullshit, some dickhead talking about, and the powertrain feels linear. It doesn't mean anything.
I'm going to talk about the reality of owning these cars, because the difference between me and all the other people who do car reviews is I'm only going to review cars I own. These people borrow a car for a week, not even a week. They borrow a car for a day and review it. You don't know anything about the car after a day. When I got this car in London, I drove all the way to Bucharest, Romania, where we are right now, on the frozen, cold streets of Romania, some of the worst roads in Europe.
of miles in the car. I've done all kinds of terrain. I've done 12 hour stints. I've done mountain roads. I've done it all. So take car reviews are the best. Now, obviously, because I'm in Romania, this is going to be a bit jumpy because Romanian roads suck. So there's not much we can do about it, really. I mean, we could be dorks and I don't know, nerd out and try and get some stabilization crap, but no, you know, the roads are bumpy. So it's going to be bumpy. That's
We're gonna go through the basic functionality of the car. I'm gonna explain to you how it all basically works from head to toe. The PCM system, the new little gear lever that everyone talks about. We're gonna go through it all so you can see how the car basically works.
And then I'm going to start to tell you all the good things about the car and the bad things, because there are bad things.
which surprised me because usually with Porsche, they get everything right. With this car, they've got some things wrong. I'm freaking for my Porsche cup. When I bought the Porsche, I demanded a cup and I also demanded a luggage bag and some driving gloves. And they said they couldn't do that. So I actually genuinely left the showroom and said, okay, bye. I'll go buy a Aston Martin and CEO. And they emailed me saying, if you come in, we'll give you the cup and the bag, but we can't give you the gloves. And I agreed. So if you're buying a Porsche, don't leave without
cup of course for the review but at least it fits perfectly in the little cup holder you have here in the middle.
I'm sure you didn't know that Porsches need petrol but they do so that's what we're gonna do. Full please bro. So we're gonna start here from the Porsche cup. In the middle you have a cup holder. I discovered a really cool thing that if you take the cup holder out you have a little place you can put the key. So that's where the key lives.
in Andrew's Porsche, cup holder on top. This is the new center console, heated seats, pretty simple, controls for the sunroof, which is above us, the little gear selector, which everyone was kicking off about. Now, I was hoping that with the little gear selector, you could do like you could on the M4, which is change gear, either with the paddles or the gear selector. You can't. The gear selector just allows you to put it in reverse neutral drive. That's it. You can't go up and down
drive you press the m it's in manual and you got the paddles take off the m it's back to automatic
climate control and then you have the computer system here above so we'll talk about the computer system while this guy fills up my car it's it's very porsche which means it's very good it's uh very easy to use there's a whole bunch of pointless settings there's a whole bunch of stuff you could do you can adjust the airflow you can go to climate and adjust the airflow from where your
a german would do this but us normal people don't do these kind of things the only things that are really interesting in here are the car settings so you can go here you can turn off the stop start you can turn on the louder exhaust system you hear that it goes up and down you can also do it with this button here it's exactly the same on and off and there's a rear spoiler which automatically deploys but you can turn it here and you can turn it on and it comes up those kind of things you have the drive mode here on the side but you can also control that from the steering wheel we'll
about this system are actually the fact that you can get built-in Porsche data and Apple CarPlay. So we'll do them one at a time. If you go to apps here, you have all these applications. With your Porsche Connect account, the world's getting so connected. You buy a Porsche, you have to sign up for a Porsche Connect account, very much like an Apple ID. If you pay 19 euros a month, then your Porsche Connect account has seven gigabytes of data anywhere in Europe. So this car has data anywhere in Europe. This car has its own Wi-Fi network. You can connect to it and give Wi-Fi
you can use the data for news uh google searching finding weather etc all from the porsche data nothing to do with your phone so that's something you can get for 19 euros a month i signed up for it i don't really need it but yeah it's kind of cool the other thing you can do is apple carplay now if you're familiar with apple carplay good if you're not it's pretty cool you can go here click on apple carplay and then i use ways which is my sat nav because it shows where the police
here. You can go to calls and you can go through your recent contact, et cetera. I won't do that because it's classified. Your Spotify. So basically you're controlling your phone from the car. Playlists, click a playlist and it's very, very fast. You'll see that it's very quick, which I like because I can't stand slow systems. I can't stand systems that are slow or lag. This one doesn't, which is very, very good. Also, you have all your phone apps, your messages,
Capital Extra app here, WhatsApp, Telegram, everything you want to do. So you can completely control your entire phone from the car, which is kind of cool. Then you have Assist. This is actually cool. Porsche ActiveSafe. So if you're driving like a moron and you don't brake in time, you get all warnings on the dashboard, collision warning, slow down, all these kind of things. So it tells you. It's actually extremely intelligent because when I'm driving really, really fast, trying to drive like a psycho, it never goes off. But when you're chilling and cruising,
So it must be able to tell when you're driving aggressively and when it doesn't need to warn you about close collisions because they happen when you drive aggressively right behind people and when you're not. So that's actually very, very intelligent. I would never turn that off. It's never annoyed me once. Sound. Yeah, you've got a Bose sound system. It's very, very good. Of course, it's Porsche. Device is normal. You can connect all the different phones here. You can see with the two phones here, we have one which we allow to use Apple CarPlay, one which we just use for, you can just use for Bluetooth. You can select what each phone actually does.
from the Porsche Connect package I bought. Settings, go into settings, you can do everything. Tons of stuff you can do. You can go into displays, you can adjust this PCM display, you can even change the instrument cluster, which is here behind the wheel. I can change all the information I see here as well from the PCM of I to side. So a little bit more of the boring stuff. You've got your speedo in the middle. On the right hand side, you've got information which can be scrolled with this button here. You've got a trip, and the trip
I started the car, but you can also choose since my last refuel. You can also choose continuous or to your destination. So the trip can change vehicle, which is information that you can toggle from the main screen here. You can choose what it says here. So here it says the time, the date, the amount of pressure that's in the turbo and, uh, Apple CarPlay, where my media is coming from. We have your drive modes here, which we're going to go into shortly. Tire information, pretty standard. Shows you where your power is being delivered. This is the 4S.
G-Force, Sport Chrono, and you also have the map here. So you can see the map of exactly where you are. So you have the map while you're driving. On the left-hand side, you have your Speedo, traditional Speedo. This one here. And you can change that as well to show different speed limits, no information, or show your exact position. Now, what's actually annoying about this car, I'm going to take the camera quickly to show you, is when you're sitting, the wheel perfectly blocks the two outside gauges.
So to see the temperature and time, or to see your fuel, you have to move your head, because this is where your head is. This is what you see when you drive, about this. Let's put it exactly where my head is, here. So it's annoying. So you have to constantly move your head to see these things. Like the fuel gauge, the time, the date, they could have put them in the middle somewhere, and you could have been able to see it easily. There was no need for them to have their own gauges, and then they have their own gauges you can't see. It's a slight annoyance, but you kind of get used to it.
Voice command settings. Who uses that shit? Only dorks. I don't use it. Drive mode controls. This is very, very simple. Here you adjust the drive mode. You turn it here and it turns up here.
Normal, sport, sport plus, and individual, which is your individual settings. Wet has the most traction control. When you go into sport plus, it's as sport as obviously it can be. And then you have everything in between. You can manually do a lot of this anyway.
here and you turn off the stop start you turn on the exhaust system you turn on the spoiler and then you also turn on the suspension that's effectively sport plus that's all sport plus does but the car's traction control is still in normal mode so it won't let you slide as much so you can manually mess with it all and get the exact things you want typical Porsche style if you're a normal and you got it in automatic and you want to overtake if you press the button in the middle it gives you
for 20 seconds to car in automatic mode,
will drop gears and drive like a psycho so you can easily overtake things you can turn it off again with the button it's kind of cool so that's the basic control of it that's the things you need to know it's not difficult it's quite intuitive it's very well done the system is not laggy at all it's very impressive it's nothing like the mclaren system or the aston martin system which are me it's nice the lamborghini system is good as well to be fair so what am i comparing this car to well i've got a mclaren 720s which is crazy i've got a lamborghini huracan which is
I've got a Vanquish S, which is typical James Bond. I've got a lot of supercars I'm comparing this to. And if you've watched car reviews on how it feels to drive one of these cars, they're all going to be in some beautiful Spanish mountainside talking crap that doesn't really explain anything. We're here on the bumpy roads of a village in Romania, and I'm going to tell you what this car is really like. It's a Porsche, which means it does everything perfect. It's
It's definitely not slow, even, and I'm saying that as a McLaren driver, it's not, it's not going to disappoint you in the speed department. It grips amazingly. It does everything it's supposed to do perfectly all the time. That's what Porsches do. Porsches almost have so little soul that they have a soul of their own because that's what they are. There's just, there's no quirkiness at all. They're boring, but they're so boring that if you're a nerd about it, they become good. They're like really, really good missionary sex with a school teacher who's like 10 years older than you, but she's still hot.
that's what it's like like a Lamborghini is like having sex with a porn star McLaren's a gangbang that's what Porsche is it's just good nice missionary with your with your school teacher that you've wanted for a very long time I love it McLaren is a gangbang McLaren is a gangbang bro because it's just a mess there's stuff going everywhere you might get jizzed on you might crash the car who knows it's crazy the McLaren you can't control it you have no control over a gangbang
There's not really any surprises, but it's still enjoyable. It's still fun. Don't get me wrong. As for the speed, I was pleasantly surprised by how quick this car is. We're on snowy, icy, terrible roads, and I'm drinking my coffee, so when I finish my coffee, I'll show you. But it is definitely not a slow car. This is the 911 992 4S Carrera. It's not the turbo. The turbo doesn't exist yet, and I was worried there would not be enough power. 3 liter, 450 brake horsepower.
off the line, especially in the lower ranges if you're going off the line or you're tearing through traffic, it's extremely quick. Once you get above 120, 130 miles an hour, then yeah, you can feel that the McLaren would be able to piss on it. But besides that, it's certainly a very, very fast car. We're going to put it in manual now.
Let's see if we can do this without spilling my coffee. See if the Porsche cup is all it's cracked up to be. Sounds good as well.
considering it's turbocharged, has a good sound, you can really hear the engine. This is totally stock.
Gear changes are really fast, like bang, bang, bang, gearbox is good. It's a Porsche, it does exactly what you're expected to do. If you're looking to buy this car and you already have a Porsche, you know what I mean, it's a Porsche.
two weeks all across Europe in the rain in the snow and it gripped it never let me down I have winter tires on now yeah but it gripped it never let me down it's easy to say good things about the car I mean what can I say it's a Porsche it grips the computer system is very very efficient the gearbox is fantastic you don't really feel any kind of turbo lag you would never guess it's turbocharged it's nice the power just goes all the way through it's very fast off the line it's intuitive but there are a few things I don't like I don't like that I can't see my fuel gauge I don't
because it just seems so pointless. They should have put the information inside of those two gauges somewhere in the middle. There's plenty of space, so you don't have to keep moving your head to check. Now, if you do get low on fuel, to be fair to them, they do give you a nice big warning you couldn't miss. So even if you're not paying attention to your fuel gauge, you do get a nice big yellow fuel warning. But still, I don't like that. Next thing I don't like is, in fact, I'm gonna pull over right now and I'm gonna show you.
I drove this car 4,000 miles. I noticed it, it really annoyed me.
rest here isn't big enough. So when your foot goes on it, only the edge of your foot goes on it. That's about half my foot. I don't know if you can see. That's about half my shoe. After a couple hours, your foot starts to hurt or you start to get weird cramp because your foot isn't rested properly because only half your foot is on. I don't know why they've done that. There's plenty of room down there. There's not a full foot rest. It's like half a foot rest. It was me in this car.
to swap just because that car has a real footrest and this one has half a footrest. I don't know why they've done that. It's stupid. Next thing I don't like. Okay, I found a place for the key for it to go under here. Until I discovered that, I don't like that there was no key port. One thing Ferrari and McLaren do very well that all the other car manufacturers need to learn from, yeah, we understand the car is keyless. Still, give us a nice place for the key. Look at all
put it down here and stop it rattling around or keep it in my pocket or some garbage don't like that the way you start the car you have to get used to but when i first got in this car i couldn't work how to start it look at this
On most cars, you have a dial to do the lights. But this is actually how you start the car. This key that you can't remove stays inside.
And that's how the car starts. When I first got in, I was like, okay, that's the lights. That's that. So where's the on button? So I'm looking here, like a Lambo, for the on button. And there is no on button. That's how you start the car. So there's a few things I don't really like. But all in all, it's a fantastic car. I just think the biggest mistake they made was this footrest thing. Because the whole point of a Porsche is that you can cross continents.
it's a sports car but the reason you don't have a Lamborghini or you don't take your Lamborghini in my case because I'm Mr. Plenty the reason you don't take your Lamborghini or your McLaren is because you want to cross continents in comfort you want the power you want to be able to drive the mountain roads you want to be able to keep up with anything else you encounter but when you're cruising you want to just cruise so they've destroyed the entire touring capability of this
if they would have put on five cents more metal, it would have been fine. Then it'd be comfortable. The seats are comfortable. The ride is comfortable. The automatic gearbox is fantastic. You could put it in automatic and just cruise through countries. But I couldn't because my foot kept hurting. What a mistake. And I expect better from geeks from Porsche. Porsche is for nerds. German nerds who make Porsches should certainly know better. So we're going to wrap this up. Is it worth the money? Yeah. It's value for money. You can't complain about the value for money you get from
other supercars out there, considering off the line, it would keep up with the 720S or the Huracan. Once you get above 100, 120, they've got that extra power that would really show. But up until that point, the Porsche would certainly keep up with them. And considering it's doing that with a three-liter engine, I mean, the McLaren's got four-liter and the Huracan's got 5.2. It's really impressive. It's very, very impressive how it'll keep up with them. If you're looking for value for money from a car, get it. If you're worried about it's not going to be fast
You're only going to feel it really if you're really hammering down on really high speeds. That's when something like a McLaren or a Huracan will teach you a lesson. Otherwise, yeah, it's worth the money. It's a fantastic car. It can do everything. It's fantastic for touring. It's really, really comfortable. It's fantastic for a sports car. If they would have just given it a proper foot rest, a place to put the key, and a button to start instead of a stupid imaginary light switch thing, then the entire car would be perfect.
deal on this car is 3.7 I think but I think it's a faster than that it feels to me like 3.2 3.3 it's very impressive we're gonna do a launch control here on wet roads the four-wheel drive system and I've already done this before with the Lamborghini and the McLaren when you launch control them it automatically goes from first to second for you it goes up to the first into the second gear the Porsche doesn't when you launch control it you have to change from first to second so literally half a second after you launch you gotta be ready to press the button so don't be
of cars for you super car drivers out there so to launch control the car you put it in sport plus adjust it here sport plus very very simple you uh put your left foot on the brake hold your right foot down right we just did a launch control and because it was such a violent takeoff we accidentally turned the off button on the camera so we do it again but it was fighting for traction anyway this is a terrible all the car reviews you're watching the internet and
Italian roads. Look at where we are. Look at where we are. Welcome to Romania. Look around. And we're on icy roads. It's two and a half degrees wet. Probably a bit of ice on here. Hopefully we don't destroy the car and lose control. But we're going to try and launch control again. So I've already explained how it works. We're about to go for it. When you're ready to launch, it'll say launch mode activated right here. We'll show you.
side to it. Hopefully they kept recording. It's still recording, yeah. Twice we've lost the camera. I told you this car is quick. This car is fast, man. When it comes off the line, that's twice we've failed to record it. This car is fast. I mean, the Huracan's got four-wheel drive system as well, but the four-wheel drive system, man, all four tires, they just grip. You just fly off the line. Have a look at our beautiful environment. You can see the wonderful area I chose for this car review.
views in sunny Italian mountains or do you want the reality of owning a car? This is the reality.
roads in the world. So here we go. One last try. We're going to try and launch control. Hold on. Ready? Ready?
So in that tiny little spread, we got to 77 miles an hour, but it was going sideways for a bit. I don't know if you felt it. It was sliding everywhere from the wet, but we didn't crash
So basically the 911 is a perfect car value for money. It's amazing. It just has one stupid problem There's no key which is a little problem I don't like the way the car turns on which is a little problem and the big big stupid problem with the 911 992 is the footrest Because I've never driven a car with a sub adequate footrest before neither have you and you don't realize how annoying it is until you buy this car But you should still
Thank you.
you