Transcript
*music*
Right, you know who's a dickhead bitch?
Shania Twain's a dickhead bitch.
I know this song's a little bit out of date.
that "You can't impress me much, Saul."
And I probably should have invented YouTube and created my YouTube channel when that song was relevant.
But I didn't.
The only song I've complained about thus far is that Havana Na Na Na song, because she's a hoe.
And basically she's saying, I'm a dickhead bitch. I'm going to fuck Pedro even though he makes $10 a month.
But what's just as annoying is Shania Twain's song, "That Don't Impress Me Much."
I was driving in my car today, being a G, as you do.
Shania Twain comes on.
I have no real beef with Shania Twain. I mean, when I had Twitter and I was calling out all these celebrities, me and Shania Twain didn't exchange any bad words.
It was all good. And I'm sitting there, I'm driving, I'm listening.
I kind of get the point of the song. That doesn't impress me, and I'm a fucking...
egotistical, self-centered,
female
I'm so cool, as if that's unique nowadays.
It's not unique. With Instagram, bro, every chick's egotistical and self-separant.
I know sevens who have like one fake nail missing.
and eat microwave dinners.
We're on Instagram with Facetune.
adjusting your shit.
talking about Stay Blast and
I'm a queen, you better treat me like one.
Ho, you are B-A-S.
I see.
Anyway, back on point.
So, Shania Twain, I'm listening, I'm listening to her, and I can't remember the exact words, but it was something like,
So what? You're a rocket scientist.
that don't impress me that
So you're not impressed by a rocket scientist?
You're not impressed by a dude who can get it.
metal. He can get rocks and melt it down into metal and then shape the metal into a rocket. And then he can combine oxygen, hydrogen, and different elements from the atmosphere in the right combination so they become super explosive.
to power this rocket.
fast enough to escape Earth's atmosphere,
while also containing sophisticated communications equipment so we can control the rocket in space.
That doesn't impress you because you're so, so cool. You've done something so much better by releasing super average pop songs.
Like, which of those two things is more difficult to achieve?
So I'm listening to this bimbo bitch saying, you know, rocket scientist doesn't impress her.
blah blah blah blah thinking she's an idiot.
But then I realized she's not an idiot. She's just a woman.
And females and idiots, it's a pretty fine line.
Because she says something which proves me completely right. She says, after she says you're a rocket scientist, it doesn't impress me much. She says,
"that won't keep me warm on a long, cold, lonely night."
That, at the end of every single thing she says, it doesn't impress her. Like, "You're a businessman that doesn't impress me. You're a rocket scientist that doesn't impress me."
That won't keep me warm at the end of a long, cold, lonely night, some shit like that.
What she's saying by that is,
I need dick.
Long, cold, lonely night. She's saying, "I don't care if you're a rocket scientist.
I don't care if you're a businessman, I don't care how successful you are, I don't care about nothing.
I need...
dick, because if I'm kept warm, dicked right,
on a long, cold, lonely night, any night.
Basically, I'm a hoe, I need dick. That's all I'm interested in.
And this is a very important lesson for you people out there. This is how all females work.
If you've ever looked at a girl thinking, what the fuck is she doing with that guy?
That dude treats her like shit.
He has no money. He's cheating on her all the time, and she will not leave him.
Why? Because he fucks her right.
That's why.
If you ever look at a girl and go, she's with a millionaire.
Why is she unhappy? She is a millionaire. He looks after her. He looks after the kids. They have a perfect house. All he does is work to provide for her. Why is she miserable?
because she ain't getting dicked right.
And Shania Twain proves it with her stupid fucking song.
You ain't gotta be a rocket scientist.
You just need a big dick. You can keep any woman on earth happy.
Trust Big Daddy Tate.
.