Transcript
- Merry Christmas!
You know, the world is cyclical.
It's kind of funny how things always work out the same. They say history doesn't repeat, but it rhymes.
Last Christmas, I was in a five-star London hotel.
smoking a cigar when they told me I'm not allowed to smoke.
Telling you you're all losers. What I would like you to do, my Christmas present to you all, is some self-awareness. If you watch this video, I'd actually like you to genuinely undertake the following exercise. I'd like you to go into the bathroom,
Strip down to your underwear.
and look in the mirror what an average piece of shit you are.
And here we are. It's Christmas. I'm in a five-star London hotel, smoking a cigar I'm not supposed to smoke, and guess what I'm about to tell all of you? I'm about to remind you of some simple facts.
You know, what's actually interesting,
about the fact that most of you are losers.
is you don't see yourselves as losers, because you think, "Well, I'm just a normal guy."
But from way up high, from the absolute upper echelons of human success,
Guess why?
the normal dude,
is a loser.
And that's the problem. I'm not trying to flex with these bags. I literally have nowhere else to put them.
And this is half of the stuff I bought. I went shopping in London and I decided to be like Santa Claus. And I just bought everything. Most of this stuff is even for me. In fact, I'd say 95% of it's not for me. A lot of it's like girl shit. I saw some shoes. I was like, those are sexy shoes. Those are beautiful shoes. Do you have them in a size 36, 37, 38, and 39? Just bought four pairs. Four pairs of 3,000 pound shoes. Why? Because I don't know which of my girlfriends have which size foot. I don't know.
So it's bottom hole.
Just fuck it. Buy all of it. I think I spent about...
Thank you.
$250,000?
Talk about the average man, I was a loser. It's a genuine question because when I sit here and insult you guys, I'm not trying to just like be, you know...
horrible. I'm trying to make you understand that
outside of the matrix, once you break through the code,
There's different versions of reality.
Ask yourself, have you ever spent £250,000 in a day?
Not on a house, not on a once-in-a-lifetime purchase, just on a do-do-do, store-to-store,
core of a mill.
on shit that you don't want
You don't even know where you're going to give it. I literally don't know what I'm going to do with most of this stuff. I'm going to end up giving it away on Twitter.
I don't know how to do it.
Every bag is rammed to the top, full, even with all my human strength.
stuff. By the reason I bought it, when I was walking through the stores,
I kept telling the people, I was like, yeah, give me five of them, give me six of them. They're like, why do you five? I said, everything's free.
Money is not real.
And they didn't understand. They thought I was just making something up and talking woo-woo. But they don't understand that once your bank balance number becomes big enough, no matter what you buy, it looks basically the same.
So it's all free. So just give me every size. What size is she? Who knows? Who gives a fuck? By the time Christmas...
is over. If I still have any of these left, by the time New Year, I'll probably have a new girlfriend.
I don't have a horseshoe size yet. I'm a fucking psychic.
I want to give her something nice. I'm a nice man.
There's a completely different version of reality that you can live when you escape. Being the average guy makes you a loser because the average guy can't go spend a quarter of a million pounds on Christmas presents he doesn't even want.
And this is the problem. Oh, sorry. Complete sidetrack.
My phone charger closed.
G.
This is gangster.
And someone, namely this big fuck called Tristan, said that's gay, why did that stupid little phone charge like a kid? Tell you why.
How many times do you plug the charger in somewhere and then it doesn't charge your phone? You don't know if it's the plug that's broken, the charger that's broken, phone that's broken. I now know that my wire and the plug are functioning.
This is functional.
So don't laugh at me.
Anyway.
It's not a normal phone charger, is it? Because normal is loserish. See how I always get to fucking Aikido back? I'm so smart. I'm so clever. So you don't want to be a normal dude, because when you're a normal dude, you're a loser. You don't get to do amazing things. What's interesting is none of you have had a normal life.
It's Christmas Day now, and each and every one of you is living a unique individual version of Christmas Day.
You've had a unique and individual life path.
The things you've gone through, nobody else on the planet has gone through.
You've lived certain experiences, the school you went to, the time you were picked on in that class, the girl who broke your heart. Every single thing you've been through is unique, like a fingerprint.
A completely unique life.
And somehow you've managed to stay
completely...
Non-unique.
It's almost impressive how you can have a completely unique life experience and still end up average.
How the fuck did you do that?
Your life's different than everyone else's and you still look and talk and sound and act like everybody else.
Like a dummy.
Incredible.
I'll tell you why that happened. That happened because you have not paid enough attention into analyzing your life,
Self-analysis. Every single time something good happened to you, every single time something bad happened to you, you've not spent enough human hours sitting and thinking and trying to work out why it happened. How to make sure the good things happen more often, how to make sure the bad things happen less often. What was God trying to teach you?
when your boner didn't work.
He was trying to teach you something.
You think, oh, I just felt scared. No, God sent you a lesson and your dick didn't get hard, but you didn't pay any attention to it.
Do you understand? Everything that's happened to you has been sent from God himself to guide you on a unique path. Everything good and everything bad. And the point of the unique path is that you end up a unique person. But you are failing!
You're failing yourself and you are failing God. God has given you all you need.
And here you are watching my Christmas message and you're going to go, you know what? Tape's right. And then the question is, are you actually going to fucking do something about it?
If you're a full grown man,
You should feel deep shame.
at the fact that you can't do what I can do.
Yeah, I'm top G. I am your superior in every human metric. Any way you can possibly measure humans, I surpass you.
Yes, I agree. But you should still be angry in your heart.
That I destroy you.
so easily.
You should feel sad about that.
Someone sent me a quote today. Not often I read from my phone, but I really liked it.
I'm going to read it out.
Obviously I haven't prepared it or anything because I'm not a geek, I just talk, so I have to find it.
So while I find it, you're all going to have to...
Wait.
Ah, found it. That's smart. Right. In the animal kingdom, testosterone promotes aggression.
But the aggression is a service of status.
A lot of human behaviors are repurposed behaviors seen in our primate relatives.
So here we're replacing physical aggression with a sort of consumer aggression. The takeaway is luxury spending asserts dominance in an age where our weapons are perceived as what we wear, drive, and live.
rather than our fists.
Therefore, the highest expression of masculinity in an evolved age should be all of it.
what we wear, drive, live, our ability to move the world with money,
And mastery over the ability to decimate somebody physically So the point is
It's not just about physicality anymore. Yes, being a rich dork,
is not enough. You need physicality. But if you're strong and broke,
It doesn't change anything. Let's pay attention. In the animal kingdom, testosterone promotes aggression, but the aggression is a service of status. You are aggressive for a reason, to be respected.
In the modern world, that's not quite possible. If you're aggressive all the time to be respected, you end up in jail.
It doesn't work.
So now we've changed that with a consumerist aggression.
Luxury spending asserts dominance in an age. Our weapons are perceived as what we wear.
What we drive.
rather than our fists. The highest expression of masculinity in an evolved age should be what we wear, drive, live, and our ability to move the world with money.
That's a top G. That's the big gorilla.
Do you understand? That's the strong guy. There are old fat mafia bosses that have enough money to put you in the fucking ground.
Your ability to move the world with money. When I walked into Jimmy Shoe,
They locked the doors.
Because they knew they were making all the money they needed. They didn't want brokies in the room. Brokies around me. Brokies coming up to the assistants. Excuse me, how much is this? You're broke! Shush! Tate's here. He's buying all of it.
We don't fuck around with you asking your stupid questions about price. Dummy. I don't know how much any of this shit costs. Just run the card.
Move the world with money.
My unique life path has led me to have a very unique human experience as Top G, the most respected man on the face of the planet, the most googled person on earth. Everybody loves Top G. All the women want him, the men want to be him, that's who I am. My unique life path has resulted in me being a super unique person. And your unique life path has resulted in fucking nothing.
You're still a fuck up and you're still average and you're still a loser. The best story you could possibly tell me about the happiest day of your life would pale in comparison to my average fucking Tuesday. And it is your fault.
God...
is unhappy with you.
Because you're not trying hard enough.
God hates the lazy.
God wants people who try.
Do you understand? He's created all of us and he's looking down. He's seen the ones who are really trying. He's seen the people who don't try at all. And then he's seen people like you. Most of you are in this category.
somewhere in the middle.
You've convinced yourself you're trying.
and you tell other people you're trying,
But deep dark in the middle of the night, really, when it's time to try your own Pornhub.
You know you're not trying as hard as you fucking should be.
So another year has passed.
hundreds of millions more dollars for me,
10 or 15 new supercars, 3 new houses, tried to cancel me and failed.
Here I am, more famous and sexy than ever. What have you achieved this year that could genuinely be brought up in the same conversation without making you look like a dickhead?
Fucking nothing.
Very much.
Bye.