Transcript
Now we're going to talk about rewards.
Because...
People have this impression that to have an iron mind, you need to be in constant God mode.
and that life needs to be struggled permanently,
And you need to be able to deal with that struggle permanently. And it's all just doom and gloom, which is not the case at all.
You need to have goals. You've obviously created your enemy. You know who you're battling against.
But life should be a happy experience.
So making sure that completing your goals makes your life better and more positive, makes you feel more happy,
is certainly going to encourage you to set larger goals and to complete them.
So,
what I do when it comes to rewarding myself, because every single one of us needs to reward ourselves is,
I very simply
pin my rewards to an objective.
So what people normally do is they go through life and they go, I feel like having an ice cream.
And then they buy an ice cream.
Then they eat the ice cream, the end. Even on such a small level, what they're saying is, I do what I want, I do what I feel like at the time,
And I don't feel like I have to earn that treat, for example.
So even on a very, very small level, let's say I'm walking down the street and I feel like having an ice cream.
I will sit and think, I really want ice cream, but I'm not going to have one.
Tomorrow, I'm going to do X amount extra in the gym. I'm going to do an extra 100 burpees. I'm going to do an extra set of bench press, just one extra. And tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to have an ice cream.
and even something small like that this is a genuine example you spend the whole day thinking about ice cream you end up getting anticipating ice cream get excited for ice cream you go to the gym you do extra you earn the ice cream and then you know the crazy thing is the ice cream tastes better
After going through that process than if I would have just bought it when I kind of wanted one the first time.
And it's the same with absolutely everything. If I had some money in my bank and I decided to buy a Lambo,
Sure, it'd be a fun, happy day.
But if I set myself a series of objectives I had to complete first,
Not even just to be able to afford the land though. Sure, you can say once I make X amount of money, I'm gonna treat myself to this.
That's fine. But you can also pin to a bunch of other objectives. So I had the money for a Lambo, but I wouldn't allow myself to buy one until I completed other things.
In the gym, for example,
Gym is the one I use all the time. If I want to do something which I know is stupid,
but makes me happy, like booze.
Like,
eat some bad food, like buy something I shouldn't buy, et cetera, et cetera. I make myself work for it.
And I do that to alleviate the guilt of having it, because what's going to happen is,
if you've done the first two parts of this correctly and you understand the enemy you're combating
you're going to know that that person doesn't give in to those kind of
desires, doesn't give in to urges.
If he wants ice cream, he just goes without.
Well, that's who you're battling against, but it's fine for you to have an ice cream because you're going to work extra hard.
So the next thing you need to do is you need to put together a list of objectives. You need two lists.
You list things you can already do and afford.
and a list of things you can't do and afford it.
So,
The first listings you can do and afford
You just sit there and think,
Even basic shit, junk food. I want to have a cheat day of junk food.
to allow myself to have that cheat day of drunk food,
on the seventh day of the week.
On the six days of the week, I'm going to get up at six o'clock, I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to train for an hour and a half. I'm not going to leave the gym until 7:30.
I'm gonna be there at six o'clock every day.
And unless you complete those six days, unless you complete the objectives,
You're not gonna give in and allow yourself to sell it.
And I'm telling you,
The seventh day, if you finally do complete the objectives and then you sit in there eating the junk food, it will be so much better once you've earned it.
The greatest thing about this is
The reward is actually better. Not only do you work harder, but the reward is so much better knowing you worked for it.
So that's one example, junk food for example.
Or let's say you want new shoes. Basic shit. All the shit you're doing anyway now without thinking. You go to a mall, you'll buy yourself something.
You'll want it for 10 minutes. By the time you get home and take out the bag, you don't want it anymore.
That's because you haven't trained yourself to earn it. You're gonna be a happier person when you look at something you want and go, "Alright, I'm gonna come back and get that "in two days."
And in the next two days, I'm going to do X.
and you do that X that you don't wanna do, it's gonna be difficult and you're gonna achieve it, and then you're gonna get what you want. And you're gonna be happier that you got the thing, that's the first thing. And the second thing is, all these small little objectives, these small little missions, you're setting yourself around a compound,
especially when it comes to physical fitness.
Physical fitness is the easiest one.
Because you can say, I'll do 500 price ups and then I'll get it.
Done.
So this list of things you can already easily afford, you're going to do.
You're going to write it out, and you're going to set an objective for each one.
So if right now you're thinking of going on holiday, you need to set an objective for completing that holiday. If you want to have a day of junk food, if you want to buy something cheap, etc., etc. That's the first list. The second list is a list of things you cannot yet afford or things you do not yet have.
And that's very easy because
what you're doing is the punishment or the mission you're trying to complete.
is actually necessary, it's vital to having the objective. So if you want a Ferrari, you write down Ferrari, well then you have to make the money first, don't you?
Of course, if you wanna have a six pack, well then you've gotta do the work. A separate list of things
with the objectives yet to be completed, which you will need to finish before you can even purchase them. You have two lists.
Things you can do right now, and you're gonna delay gratification on purpose,
to train your mind to earn things.
So you're going to train your mind to earn things with the first list. And the second list is obviously going to be all your life goals, all the things you're aiming to get.
The first list is actually the most important. The second list is just going to be a general motivation. Everyone wants to have a Ferrari in a mansion, of course. It's good to write those things down. You may never even get them. It's the reality of the world. You may get halfway there and still be a very happy, contented person. So this is a dream list. But that's good to have. But the first list is the most important because you're going to learn to delay gratification. You're going to learn to train yourself.
to make yourself work for the things you want, things you already can do,
You're going to start putting an objective. You're going to start putting a goal in the way.
So people say to me often, "How do you find the motivation to do this?" It's like, "Well, if I don't do that, I won't allow myself to do it." And why? "How do you find the motivation to do X? If I don't do X, I won't allow myself to do Y."
So for example, I train seven days a week.
Some days I wake up and I cannot be asked. I ache, I'm tired, I've got a super busy day, I don't want to go to the gym, my phone's already going off, I've got shit to do.
But if I don't go to the gym, I will not allow myself to drive my fast cars around, which I enjoy doing.
And I've set that in stone. If I don't gym, I'm not driving the cars.
So I'll end up, you know what? Well, fuck it. The Lambo's looking nice. It's sunny. Okay, I have to go to the gym.
You have to learn to put objectives in the way of the things you want.
And if you complete the objectives, then you can have what you want.
Now the most important thing about this list is also you need to write down all the times you fail.
So let's say you've decided that on one of these days, I'm using very simple examples.
You can think of the examples you do for yourself. You need to go through your life over the next couple of days and realize how often you actually give in to your impulses. You're driving, you see McDonald's, fuck out of McDonald's.
When you see junk food, fuck it. You see some shoes you want, fuck it. You're watching TV, you want to watch Game of Thrones, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. You give in on tons more than you realize.
And if you actually be conscious about it, you'll realize, oh, shit, I want to watch a new series of Game of Thrones.
That's effectively wasting my time purely for entertainment. If I'm going to do that, I need to do X amount of work first.
So you can always find an objective. You can always find an objective to put in before. So it should be very easy for you over the next couple of days to look at all the times you give in to impulses and do things which your opponent wouldn't be doing. Your opponent would not waste time on Game of Thrones. He would not sit in a McDonald's drive-thru. He would not buy those shoes just for the sake of because he saw them and he liked them. So all the things your opponent wouldn't do over the next couple of days you can write down. You need to set an objective in front of each one. And you also need to realize and need to keep track of how often you fail the objective.
So let's say we chose Game of Thrones. You want to watch Game of Thrones on Sunday. And you've decided you're going to go to the gym six days from Monday to Saturday, every single day, before you allow yourself to watch Game of Thrones. And for some reason on Thursday, you fuck it up and you don't go.
You need to write down next to that objective, yeah, I fucked up. You need to try the week after.
If you give in and just watch Game of Thrones anyway, then everything's thrown out the window.
But if you truly listen to the first two lessons we've laid out,
then you should feel too guilty to watch Game of Thrones.
I couldn't sit there
knowing I failed the task and give myself the reward. I wouldn't enjoy the reward. I'd feel genuinely guilty.
Genuinely.
If I was supposed to go to the gym and I didn't go to the gym and I had the ice cream anyway, I wouldn't enjoy the ice cream because I'd feel guilty.
You have to learn to take yourself accountable, make yourself accountable. And if you make this list,
Like I said, over the next couple of days, keep track of all the times you give in, put an objective in front of each one. And you shouldn't be able to do, you shouldn't be able to give in and do these things because you should feel guilty if you don't complete the objective. Which means the only way to do it is to complete the objective. And before you know it, you're going to have a shitload more work done.
than you could have ever imagined.
Especially when it comes to physical fitness is the easiest one.
What will happen when you truly implement this mindset is you'll start.
this is what happens, this is what happens to me. You'll start realizing and you'll start noticing how much other people give in
So I'll be sitting there at dinner and I'll eat my dinner. I'm still the person I'm with and they'll go, "Oh, I want dessert."
I want a diet. Ah, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. Dessert menu.
And you'll start realizing how quickly and how easily other people get into impulses. They'll be in the mall. They'll look at something. I want it. Yeah, I'll buy it. Okay, yeah, fuck it.
And you'll also notice how it doesn't fulfill them whatsoever.
The first thing that happens when you take this step back and put these objectives in place is, one, you notice how people give in so easily.
And two, you notice how much it doesn't actually fulfill them. They want the dessert. They eat the dessert. Are they happy afterwards?
Are they smiling? Are they ecstatic? Or do they feel the same as you do? Except they've got a fucking stomach full of sugar and you don't.
Most people, because they give into their impulses so easily, they're not even happy with them.
This is the reality of the world. People buy shit they don't want, do shit that they don't even fucking like doing, eat crap, go, oh, I really want that, and they eat it, and they feel like shit afterwards. It's all asinine. It's all inane.
When you truly implement this system, you're going to start noticing how easily others give in.
And what it's going to start to do is, it should motivate you further.
When I'm walking through the mall and someone gives in and does some dumb shit they shouldn't do, it motivates me to make sure I'm never like that.
Literally, when they buy that t-shirt and then they go home, by the time they get home, they start on the couch and throw the bag on the couch, throw the wardrobe, just carry on playing video games or whatever they're doing.
I think what a waste of money. They don't give a fuck about that t-shirt. It made him happy for maybe six minutes.
Maybe.
If you only got six minutes of happiness out of a T-shirt,
but it inspired you to go to the gym beforehand, then it's worthwhile.
then the t-shirt now has a purpose but just to buy it for the sake of feeling a little bit happier for a few minutes to throw in the wardrobe
absolutely not worthwhile.
So there's a huge difference between the two.
So the second part of this objective
After you've done everything we've discussed with the two lists,
and you're understanding after a couple days of analyzing all the things your opponent wouldn't do to realize how often you've given them yourself,
is to also become super perspicacious and pay attention
to how often other people give in to their whims.
Because that should motivate you more than anything.
Make your list.
Put all your objectives down. It doesn't matter what your objectives are. Objectives can be super simple and they can be super basic to start.
I wanna make my first $50 online. I've never made money online before. I wanna find a way to get someone to PayPal me $50, and make my first $50 online, and after I do that, I'm gonna allow myself to go and blow it
Or go blow $200. It doesn't matter. It's just the principle that I've managed to make money online. And if I do that, I'm going to go and I'm going to go shopping on Sunday.
And then you're gonna sit there on Twitter, and you're sitting there and going, "How the fuck can I make some money? Da-da-da." Because I want to go shopping, I want to go shopping, but if I don't do this, I can't go shopping.
and you're gonna see how quickly this compounds to a complete
change of lifestyle.