Transcript
- Tristan, we're on house arrest.
So I thought I'll do something I'd never done before.
I would use my core of a million dollar television. Look at it.
Now I don't know if, you know those when the camera records the other screen and it flickers and stuff. I don't know if it's going to do that.
but for all the people at home, the brokies,
That's a badass TV.
And I don't watch TV, ever. But I'm on house arrest. I came out of jail...
They attempted to destroy them, but I'm still a trillion here, so I thought, "You know what? I might as well use this house arrest
to
Rest and relax.
to gather my chi
for the Aikido of the future.
Start talk tonight.
Let's watch a movie with my brother. I've done it a few times. We've watched some amazing movies.
But tonight I wasn't sure what movie to watch, so I thought, let's go to the Apple TV and let's see the number one top movies charts.
Because I thought that Hollywood was dead. I had this impression that nobody gave a shit anymore about Hollywood. And they just came up with terrible ideas and rehashed a bunch of garbage.
But I was wrong. Because if you go to the top movies charts,
We have...
Avatar
the way of war, pretending to be someone else in someone else's body, like...
That's the internet all over now, isn't it? All these fucking dorks. But that doesn't offend me.
What actually upset me genuinely deep in my heart
Because I have so little faith left for humanity, please understand.
I have so little left.
And it's the tiny straws that break the camel's back, the little nails in the coffin.
The second most watched movie.
is Ant-Man?
Who the fuck is Ant-Man?
Hi, I'm Scott. I've already discussed Spider-Man at length. All superhero movies are stupid and it's all bullshit, but the worst of them all is Spider-Man. Spider-Man is a bitch. If you like Spider-Man, you need to seriously reassess your life. Who's that bitch? Mary Jane?
park or some shit
You're Spider-Man.
And she still won't have sex with you.
It's not working. You and me. What? But I am genuinely, maybe Scott spent too long in fucking jail. I can't be here. I can't be here. I'm under house arrest. I didn't know there was an ant man.
How lazy do you have to be as a superhero creator to sit and look at Spider-Man and go, hmm...
What's weaker and shitter than a spider?
Ant-Man! Hiya, champ. How was school today? And his backup, his number two, is called The Wasp.
This can't be real! This can't be a movie! Why is it number two? Who is watching this?
Ant-Man! I've never seen Ant-Man. Let me guess the plot. A man with some characteristics of an ant
And his sidekick, the Wasp. Ant-Man and the Wasp teaming up. Follow my lead. Who can fly?
end up in a battle against...
The spray?
And they went.
I don't really need to watch that movie to know it's shit! And the worst thing is, it's number two. People are paying for this with money. They're paying for this voluntarily watching this.
with their own time. And they go, "Oh, I don't know why I'm still a brokie stuck in the Matrix. I just enjoyed the Ant-Man." Ant-Man is fucking attacking your mind!
Don't you understand? This is beyond how trash Ant-Man is.
This is a larger psyop on your human psyche.
In the 1980s,
You grew up and you wanted to be Steven Seagal. You wanted to walk into the bar and say, "Hey, don't talk to that girl."
They're leaving for a while. Aikido!
And destroy all the men in the bar. That's fine. But now these kids are growing up and they want to do one.
Ants? They would be ants? Like your cousin, Luke?
That's it! That's everyone's fucking aspiration! Ant-Man! Steven Seagal doesn't play fucking Ant-Man! Where's the Action Heroes?
Who the fuck plays Ant-Man?
I am pissed. Who plays Ant-Man?
No idea. No. Ant-Man actor.
Paul Ross. Who the fuck is that?
Describe Paul Rudd to me.
I think he's the guy who played...
Brian Fantana and Anchorman.
Listen.
He's pretending to be an ant. So he's clearly desperate for work. If I was an actor and they came along and said, "Andrew, do you want to pretend to be an ant?" I'd say, "Get fucked. No."
Spider-Man is already the worst superhero. I've already discussed this at length. And now we have Ant-Man and the Wasp. And it's not just about the fact that they're making shit movies. It's the fact that Hollywood sit down with the number one propaganda system on Earth. They're designed to enslave you. They're trying to attack your psyche. They sit around this table and they say, the young boys, all the people who are going to watch the next action movie, we need to instill them with all of our propaganda and make them as weak and lame as possible because we don't want anyone to grow up like Andrew Tate. That's why we don't talk about Andrew Tate in school. That's why we delete Andrew Tate from the internet. You're not allowed to be a G.
You have to be a fucking nerd to control your mind. So let's create a fucking action movie. All the kids are gonna watch it. They're gonna grow up and they're gonna want to be fucking ants. Ants in a colony.
Slaves inside the colony walking in a fucking line with no individual sovereign capability. By themselves do nothing. But if they're part of the machine, if they're part of the Matrix, if the ants stay part of the Matrix, they might be able to live somewhere underground in the fucking dirt. Live in Barrow like your fucking cousin. It's bullshit!
Yeah.