Transcript
He's going to go right back.
Yeah, they're going to toss the rest after
seven months ago.
Why are we not going out?
in the church.
Oh my god.
What do you mean?
You've been on a... Tristan, please don't buy into this.
Thank you.
You've been on house arrest for seven months.
Have three days.
We can go now, we can go do something.
We have a chance to go do something. We are doing something.
Thank you.
Let me get my laptop.
You've been off house arrest for 24 hours and you're still exactly where you've been for the past seven months. Can we please go do something?
today that does not consist of sitting at this war room table.
a pet.
pancake swap.
We can't stay in the trenches forever. We have to exit the trenches. You can't.
I'm built different.
Thank you.
Tristan after seven months and
four days.
I should leave my house?
I mean, that's my vote. I actually think you're going stir crazy. And what's outside?
*cough*
Anything but the trenches. But what is... How much have you made from the trenches? Not enough to justify staying here. What is actually outside?
Well, you've got a Christmas Lambo that you haven't driven yet. My green Christmas Lambo?
I forgot I bought that.
I haven't driven that once. No? I've never driven that. You haven't? My phone's not even paired.
I could drive my Christmas land, but what would you drive, Tristan?
Vlad is still at the lawyer's office, so...
Okay. I'm not letting that go out of it. So we need cars.
Story of our life, we always need cars.
You know?
We need more cars.
How many McLaren 765 LTs do we have? That's the car we have the most of. It's my favorite car. We have
Seven, eight?
Nine? How many do we have?
If you know what you got, you ain't got much.
What happened to going out? I don't know. Yeah, I'm off house arrest. I'm celebrating with you. Staying on this point. It's right.
This is not the way. What cost are I?
Thank you.
-
Well, I can't celebrate.
All we did while we were on house arrest was play SSB.
It's an old tactic, you gotta change it up.
- Okay.
Why aren't we playing SSB?
Because we're celebrating because we just got off house arrest.
Thank you.
You've not been out of the house.
Since you got off house arrest. Seven months and four days.
And this is not the way.
What's up, Simon?
We always play SSB even on house arrest. You can't keep playing SSB when you're off house arrest. Yeah, but I'm celebrating that I got off house arrest.
having fun by playing SSB.
Marcel, talk some sense into this, man. I'm absolutely right. There's nothing outside but people, and people suck. What am I going to do? What am I going to talk about? What are they going to tell me?
Want to tell me their interesting life stories?
My life's been more interesting on house arrest for the last seven months than most people in their
Freedom. How are you free if you're fucking broke?
"Oh, my life's great, I'm free, I went to the park." You're a brokie.
Most of you motherfuckers should just go to jail, get free...
Get a free fucking meal each day and a lie-in.
Because you niggers are getting up just to fucking pay bills. At least in jail you got no bills. At least you could sleep.
Jail's better than the life most people live.
My house arrest and my fucking compound with all of my females and my shisha, my endless cigars,
and massages
and my gym and my Smash Bros.
is better than 99% of people's lives will ever be.
So when the police think they're punishing me, I have to show them that they're not by staying in the second they let me go. I don't want to go anywhere.
There's nothing outside to see. There's nowhere to go, there's nothing to do. There's nothing that's gonna be nearly as fun as kicking the living fuck out of Marcel and Tristan at Smash Bros.
Name one thing that'll be more fun than this or trenches.
Go on. What's outside? Name something.
the sky, the moon,
Is that what you want me to do? Go play with the fucking butterflies like a faggot? Is that what you would do?
It's been seven months, three days, and we go outside, there's butterflies outside.
Touching grass like a fucking homo. Bailey, I'm not gay.
Okay. When you lock me on house arrest, my reply to that is fine. I will stay on house arrest. Oh, you can go out now. No, I can't.
I don't want to.
I don't want to. Judge, Your Honor, I don't want to go outside. No thanks. No thanks.
When they were asking me in court, why do you want to leave house arrest? I'm like, I don't really want to leave house. It's fine.
Okay, well you'll stay good then eventually after seven months. They're like, okay, we're gonna let you out. I didn't really ask for that but okay
So now I'm celebrating, we're playing Smash Bros. in my house.
Thank you.
Well, it's complicated. I'm the do it back to you guy, you know?
"Andrew, you're a human trafficker. Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm not gonna say I'm not a human trafficker. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna start human trafficking."
*laughs*
- That's a lamb. - Andrew, you're nasty and mean. - I'll become nasty and mean.
I'm that guy. If you're gonna call me it, I may as well fucking do it.
I'm now the man who never leaves this house. That's who I am.
That's what I do.
Thank you.
Maybe if I get a new car, I'll leave my house.
Do I need a new car? How many cars do we got, Tristan?
68.
Do we need 70 cars?
If I get a new car, it might go out.
Until then, I'm playing Smash Bros.
If you take away the G and the R, how do you pronounce touching grass?
Touching ass.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Bailey with his butterflies, butterfly Bailey.
Okay now.
I don't know what Tristan's getting at with the touching ass.
Thank you.
I'm experiencing nature right now. Look at this. We're in a beautiful, sandy castle. Look, look at our nature.
We got sunshine coming through the...
Windows up top.
Shisha, please. I'll have everything at home.
Fucking unlimited, unlimited everything I've ever wanted. Three whiskey and Cokes and a cigarette please. My jail's literally better than Esco bars.
Tristan, you can't drink.
We just woke up. It's morning.
I'm a full-grown man, baby.
in case you haven't noticed.
That game doesn't count 'cause uh,
Oh, I was playing.
- Thank you.
Andrew Gardner will be there tomorrow, mate.
You are the computer that beat me though, that was Joker. Just because I'm on my phone does not mean I'm on Grimond Grinder. You are!
- Can you prove you work on Grindr to any of us? - So if I'm ever on my phone, instead of playing Smash Bros, it's automatically Grindr. - Andrew, it's the Romanian system.
Can you prove that you weren't on play? No?
laughter
Marcel, can he prove to you he was not on the house? I love being off house arrest!
This is sick. Free. At last.
Thank you.
This is great.
Bailey, have you got Grindel on that camera? Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow. Grindel over there tomorrow.
How's Grondo?
What? Okay, I want to leave the house just to get away from you.
I'll go out if you promise to stay in. Deal.
.
Come on, brain man, get him.
Come on, brain man, get him.
Get him and hold him.
Thank you.
Fuck off! I told you, Sora's dangerous bro. That was gay shit! I was all right. Sora is dangerous, I told you that bro.
Basically I want
You did win. Tristan sucks.
Tristan, how does it feel to be horrible at SSB? Take pictures from Grindr will be there tomorrow. Grindr will be there tomorrow. Take Andrew's Grindr pictures will be there tomorrow. Grindr will be there tomorrow. Take Andrew's Grindr videos will be there tomorrow.
Pfff.
Come on, invincible Mega Man!
Come on! Be invincible! God damn it!
Fuck you!
Come on, I almost had it! I almost had it! I almost had it!
So, house arrest for seven months. I basically locked myself in the house.
Cars have just shown up because we're free.
I'm going to drive wherever Andrew says.
That's the plan, wherever he wants to go. Clues.
Yash, Galatz, Timishwara.
Anywhere in the country Angie wants to go.
We are driving.
Let's call them.
Thank you.
I'm feeling he's just gonna wanna stay home. The guy who did this car...
I can trust. There's no secret wires by decal in this car. This guy's legit.
So we're golden.
So wherever Andy wants to go is where we're going.
He's free from elsewhere.
Which means I'm free from house arrest because I put myself in house arrest because Andrew was in house arrest.
So I'm going to jump clean, put on a suit,
We're gonna jump in these cars and speed off into the sunset somewhere.
They're nowhere.
We'll decide. Andre, this looks
fucking amazing.
Bye.
Yeah.
Put it on Ultra HD, do some fucking lens zoom. - Okay, no, you're good, yeah. - It's the best looking tire I've ever seen. I've never seen a better look at the tire, brother. - I've never seen a great time. - It's like this time you can see the other one. - Yeah.
Wow.
car has a lot of
That looks amazing.
10 out of 10.
When the sun hits it and it overtakes you, you're like, what the fuck was that? Full carbon, everything is carbon.
And you took all the crime off it, you blacked all the badges?
all the badges and we had to paint some other parts
The car is fully, fully PPF'd. I mean, there are PPF'd in places that you won't
Fully, fully carbon. That's amazing. In the sunshine, that is going to pop.
-
So where are we going?
What?
Music, when you were cutting.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- So it's Christmas Lambo, we haven't driven yet.
Got a brand new
Pink.
Fully carbon, 765.
And I'm off house arrest.
Thank you.
*music*
Or who's taking what? Tristan, you taking the Lambo or the McLaren?
*sigh*
Now...
Fuck, you're right.
This game doesn't count because Bailey's not in it.
Andrew.
Andrew, you can't buy a brand new McLaren.
Thank you.
and sit here and play SSB.
That's going to be like a time to do.
Earth to Andrew. This is not...
Hello, Andrew, hello. Oh fuck off you fucking Indonesian Nepalese, you fucking Pakistani fuck. This is bullshit.
This is Pakistani, India bullshit.
Fucking bullshit.
Amber. What?
You just bought a brand new McLaren.
We're supposed to go driving.
Why?
That was the plan.
The plan was for Tristan to get in the Lambo, you to get in the McLaren, and then we were going to take off and go test it out.
- More dilemma.
Seven months, four days of house arrest,
I think I should celebrate my freedom.
by playing Smash Bros.
And if you're not playing Smash Bros, it's because you're on Grindr.
Grindr will be there tomorrow, Bailey. So put the fucking Grindr camera down.
and lock in.
I ain't going nowhere.
This is Pakistani, Indonesian, Nepalese, Bhutan bullshit.
That's why I lost, because Tristan cheated.
But the next game he won't be allowed to. "Oh, drive your McLaren, drive your Lambo, maybe you should go out." What the fuck do I want to go out for?
Keep me on house arrest.
Judge? Tristan, I think something's wrong with your brother.
I mean, he just lost his game.
Skill issue, I guess.
First,
Thank you.
You hate the walls.
Then...
You get used to them, and after a while,
Kind of depend on them, you know?
Not sure I can survive on the outside anymore, I'm fully institutionalized.
Have you seen the Shawshank Redemption?
The old man hangs himself.
That's me, but with Smash Bros.
- Three match.