Transcript
*music* I'm sitting at my computer editing and I just hear you beefing, Eska.
We're having loads of fun. We're having some old fun.
What's your beef with Eskimos?
Thank you.
So basically,
Donald Trump Jr. has gone to Greenland.
So I, as Prime Minister of the UK,
the leader of the Brough Party.
have sent a diplomatic cable to Greenland letting them know that we're going to take it now.
Because the Eskimos had it.
And did nothing with it. Like you're Eskimos. You've had Greenland for fucking 300 years. What have you? Fishing.
and snow angels.
"Oh, I've been in the snow for years. Maybe we should have a snowball fight."
Boring unoriginal. They've wasted it. So what we're going to do
Now that America's taken over, we're going to build Bitcoin mining facilities and enjoy the free refrigeration that comes from the cold, allowing America to build a BDC strategic national reserve,
at a cost-effective price.
So me as the leader of the United Kingdom have expressed my support for this policy and I've warned Denmark
via diplomatic cable to not fight American might.
I've just got the idea.
that we might take Iceland too.
So as Prime Minister, I'm going to send them a diplomatic cable, but I do my diplomatic cables a little bit differently.
I tweet the countries on my Twitter account. So I'm going to tweet Iceland and let them know they don't stand a chance against American might.
and the United Kingdom fully supports American imperialism when it comes down to stealing refrigerators we can use to mine Bitcoin. Because I am tired of these fucking Eskimos!
sitting around wasting something that could be used. Tristan, has an Eskimo ever paid your rent?
Um, no. Well, you're my Minister of War. The Secretary of Defense has been renamed to Minister of War. Tristan, you're my Minister of War, and I've had it with these pesky Eskimos. I need you to use the full force of the British fleet to teach them a lesson.
I'll instigate a naval blockade. How about that? A naval blockade of Greenland. You're not going to get your whales that way, are you? What are you going to do?
Sink their canoes. Yeah, nice.
Too much cadoodling going on up there anyway. Exactly. Hear, hear.
Here, here. All right, rewind, rewind, rewind.
I go to America for two weeks.
And I come back and I hear all this,
PM, I don't even know what that means. What is happening? Fill me in. We're breaking the fourth wall.
I don't even know what's going on. I'm the future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. I have launched a political party called BRUV.
Britain restoring underlying values because every other political party is full of shit and they're not prepared to do the difficult things which must be done. I was sitting around talking with Tristan how none of the parties can be trusted at 4pm. And by 8pm, I had a manifesto, I'd changed my Twitter, I had a website, I had 100,000 signups, I've got 67,000 followers on Twitter relaunched yesterday, I've been contacted by every major news outlet in the world, I have large campaign donors promising me millions and millions of dollars, and everybody's asking me in which constituency I'm going to run.
The chance of me becoming Prime Minister is now at 100%. The Ibs are gone. We live in the land of Wen. I am the future Prime Minister. I've had enough of Greenland and I have enough of Iceland. I'm making my policies clear now.
So everybody who votes for me knows how the country's going to be run. There's not going to be any fucking immigrants. They're all fucking off. The Royal Navy's going to blow them up, right?
Sure. Thanks. Minister of War has already been appointed. Nobody likes Keir. The British government is falling and I'm taking it over with the Brough party. And you know what? It's a lesson because I tell everybody all the time it's amazing what you can do if you genuinely dedicate yourself and work hard. I have conquered politics in one day. One day. I promise you this is a promise from the bottom of my heart. It may take a year. It may take five years. It may take 10 years. I
I'm only 38. Before the age of 50, Andrew Tate will be the Prime Minister.
You need to go outside buddy. You spend your whole life in this bed and eating sirloin steaks and every time you're put outside somehow within two minutes you're back in
and on this bed. You should be outside chasing birds and killing things.
You become lazy as fuck and you just want to sit here
An E.
So to remain a killer, get up. Get up.
We're going out. Kill a cat or something.
Find a cat in the garden and annihilate it.
Are you doing what I think you're doing?
You sent a message, Kosti, saying, "Go pick up my Glovo for me, it's outside." I saw that message, I thought, "Oh!"
So there's food here for you, Seth. He is in here.
It's rules of the house. And me and Nigel were hungry. It's breakfast time.
So Yusuf orders food for himself and you just decide to eat it all because food's on the table and the rule of the house is
If food is in the public domain, it's free for anybody. Yeah, exactly.
It's up for grabs. Yeah, and then we're going to put it back in the bag.
Maybe put something a bit heavy in the bottom one so he doesn't notice.
And then, uh...
put it back here and leave it on the table. So he thinks his breakfast is here. Is this the greatest house in the world or the worst house in the world? Cause that's diabolical. It depends for me and Nigel right now. It's pretty good. For you Sif, not so much.
Well, I mean...
You hungry, babe? Do I need to eat Yusuf's food? Yes, you do. You have to join in. We all have to commit the crime together. Did any other group of friends do this to each other? We're the only ones.
I don't know.
But we are super hilarious. I'm not even that hungry though.
Alright, pass me a fork.
Thank you.
Is that you, Steve, pulling up? Bailey, can you check?
It is.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's really hot and hard to eat. Marina's locked the door, go. Locked the door, sorry, let's save us some time.
Go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Oh, you should. - No, no, no, no.
Hey, you see what I did?
I saw you filming so I...
I have a full time.
Oh, I get it. I get it. You got me.
you're going to do.
Nice.
He got me. Hungry, Yusuf? That's why I got two. I should have saved you some. Yeah, but there was me and Nigel. Yeah.
really good. You could appease the horde by buying extra.
Sorry, mate.
When you sent a message to Kofi, he was trying to hit the globo. I was like "Fu!" and you just not hear it.
You should have known better. You should have mentioned him directly. That was a big mistake.
All right.
There might be a few grades of ice left.
- Okay, it's actually, all right.
- You're a piece of shit.
What would you have done to me?
You and Yusef, what would you have done to me?
If food arrived for me and I was half an hour away, what would you and Yousif have done?
You sip would have left it, but I definitely would have eaten it. I think you simply caged a pure pressure
I think you would have talked him into it.
I really do. You have to watch your back 24-7 in this house now.
It's the rules of the house. We're a bunch of hungry dudes, there's food on the table,
Yus is fucking in his little taxi doing whatever he's doing.
Bad timing.
Tactical error.
How long did you wait for that, Yusuf? An hour. Are you hungry?
So
Hmm?
- What's that?
You piece of shit, he was so hungry he waited an hour.
♪ ♪
.
you
♪♪ ♪♪
You can't keep leaning into this.
Are you trying to say I'm the kind of man who's so petty that if something goes viral
I'll just double down on it. Like saying I'm a human trafficker or saying I'm a bad guy or saying that I love Hello Kitty cereal. Is that what you're trying to say? I think that's what I'm trying to say. You don't need Hello Kitty cereal in a Hello Kitty bowl.
- Bailey. - Andrew, that's too far. Too far. - There's some things about the universe you don't understand.
One of them.
being Hello Kitty things.
I don't think I want to understand Hello Kitty things, honestly.
Thank you.
Mmm.
I get stronger every day. I got my Hello Kitty cereal, my Hello Kitty bowl, my Hello Kitty spoon.
And if you have something to say about that,
We can fight anytime we fucking want.
Put on the gloves.
I'm gonna destroy the Hello Kitty paradigm.
I was down with the cereal. He had me at the cereal. But there's no excuse for that bulb. What about spoon?
that can't add to the flavor or nutrition of hellicake cereal.
Why not sell me a drum then?
Well, for me fair. And for me.
I demand answers, you old faggot. Why am I so big and strong? To be fair...
You don't drink whiskey out of a plastic cup, do you?
doesn't really change the taste or flavor. Cognac in those big white glasses
Maybe there are correct vessels for certain foods and beverages. Tristan, don't... Don't let him get away with this, please. If I said to you, Bailey, let's have a whiskey right now with ice, and I gave it to you in a plastic cup, what would you say?
I'd look at you weird.
Because whiskey goes in glass. It does go in glass. Maybe, just maybe, we've been plastic cupping our whiskey the whole time in the form of Hello Kitty cereal. Maybe eating out of normal human-sized bowls.
Just wasn't the way to do it. Maybe you're a dickhead and you're a fucking dickhead and I'm sick of living with two dickheads.
Two fucking losers.
You're short.
You're a faggot, two little losers who try and hate on me and my brilliance. This is called synergy.
You need to study the secrets of the universe. Vibration and frequency. This is synergy. Hello Kitty cereal in a Hello Kitty bowl with a Hello Kitty spoon. Everything lines up. You know sometimes in life everything just goes together and works out perfectly? You don't know anything about that. You're a fucking faggot. Because I'm not on housework.
and Bailey's Dawn House Arrested. Yeah, what's the one factor here? So let's go out for a steak?
Let's go right now.
- Fuck, sir. - You've been in the house too long, sir.
Did you just order five boxes of sunglasses?
Everyone wants to be me Bailey wake up Bailey wake up. Welcome to the real fucking world Everyone's trying to be Andrew Tate all the conservatives are crying their eyes out once a moon full of undertake because they want to be me They want to be a famous bad guy They want to be a superhero and big and rich and strong didn't you know it's that nobody ever smoked cigars and then I pop On the internet and I can't go anywhere without some dipshit smoking a cigar pretending matters. I
It doesn't fight the Matrix.
He's not globally famous, he's not billionaire, he's nobody with a cigar, wants to be me.
So...
I decided
to get my sunglasses made on bulk, and I was going to sell them, but I've come to a very sobering conclusion. And the conclusion is:
There's already enough people trying to emulate me.
trying to imitate me. And if I fill these sunglasses, there's going to be a whole bunch more little Andrew Tate's running around in my sunglasses.
which is going to annoy me.
'cause there are already a bunch of little andro-tanks running around talking to girls. I'm the man.
Gaze.
So I don't know, if I sell these sunglasses, it might add to the problem.
So I'm deciding if I either keep them all,
Or if I sell them all, what do you think I should do?
- On one hand, you could have a bunch of little kids running around school with the Andrew Tate sunglasses, that would call on everybody faggot. - Would piss the matrix off. I got both designs. I wear these ones when I wear a suit,
I wear these ones.
When I wear, let's say a tracksuit or something.
I've got both designs, I've got hundreds of pairs. What I'm actually thinking of doing is putting them for sale on topg.com.
at $20,000 a pair.
Nice. Not to make money, but that way if I run into someone with my sunglasses,
I know they're a fucking G.
and I can take photos with them, I can swap numbers with them, I know they're a man who makes money.
If I find anyone out there in the world with my sunglasses at 20 grand a pair, I will instantly talk, shake, stop, shake his hand, take a picture. I'll want to know who that guy is.
If I sell them at any kind of reasonable price, everyone will have them.
TopG.com already does millions and millions a month.
I don't want everyone to have my sunglasses. So I think what I'm going to do
I'm gonna put them off at 20 grand a pair.
Almost like a litmus test.
Andrew, you can't listen to sad music all day long.
Just because you're depressed
You missed the trump coin.
and our friends made 20 in. You can't just listen to sad music all day. On repeat.
- You say I can't do what?
- Yeah.
I said you can't listen to sad music all day.
You don't realize you've not slept at all since missing the Trump coin. You've been sitting at this computer for 48 hours straight.
No sleep. About 43 hours and counting without any sleep at all. I can't even hear you over the music. Andrew.
Andrew, we can't. No. Give me a play by play. How are you feeling? I feel like I have so much money that I don't need the money, but there was money that I didn't get.
Which is why I'm a winner. Losers think I have enough.
That's why they never fucking get anywhere. People like me have it all and want more.
That's what we do. We conquer lands. We need more.
We take all the fucking money, we take all the fucking women, we need fucking more, we have to have it. And I, who only affords himself three hours of sleep a day,
managed to sleep at the exact time I could have ate into a once in a generational coin.
And...
It pissed me off.
Because I'm on this computer for 21 hours a fucking day. True.
you
You know what?
I prayed for you earlier. No.
- No! - The only answer is to never sleep again!
I'm praying for you. I pray for you all out to pray for me
I can pray for you all I want. You can't even do anything about it. No, you're not. I don't want you to pray for me. I don't want your prayers.
Your prayers are not allowed. I reject them. I reject them all. Good luck, sir!
Good luck, sir. Because your friends didn't help me.
And that's why I'm in the situation I'm in. No, I'm praying for your heart, sir. I want you to understand, the fact I have hundreds of millions of dollars is the only reason I can take this out. If I was broke, and this happened to me, I'd fucking kill myself.
If I was broke, I'd jump off a fucking bridge.
I'm gonna pray that you have peace instead of greed
Joy instead of envy.
and that your heart is healed from this L. - You should pray that I play this song 100 times on repeat, and sit on my chair for another 24 hours. That's what you should pray for, 'cause that's what's gonna fuckin' happen.
you
Are y'all in the trenches? - Maybe.
Boys, I'm sitting at my computer trying to edit your videos, and you're in the here- you're in the trenches making money! I'm getting in the trenches! Boomer Bailey is joining the trenches! Well, baby, if you do it right...
Then you don't have to make our videos anymore, you can just sail off into the sunset with all your money.
That's right, you can quit.
- That'd be a shame.
That'd be a real shame.
Baby, you know, let me just give you millions of dollars.
Nothing is serious anymore.
Nothing is serious anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore. Everything is just imaginary money. I was saying for years money is not real.
It wasn't real five years ago. When I was rich five years ago, it was a big deal. Andrew's rich, he has a big ad, he's rich.
Now everyone's fucking rich.
Everyone has an AP, everyone has a fucking Lambo, everyone's got money, nothing's real, numbers on a screen, vaporware garbage, the USD is backed by nothing, all these coins are fucking Ponzi's, everyone's in the trenches, no one wants to do any real work, no one's building factories to do anything real, everyone's just sitting there clicking away, typing.
And the most interesting thing is people have conflated
They've conflated losing money
with work, because work sucks and losing money sucks. So they think sitting in the trenches, scrolling up and down all day, losing all their money is somehow work.
But it's not, because when you work, you create something.
Even if you don't win that exact day by working, you're creating something. Losing your money is just losing.
And we have this huge conflation now. People are like, I'm working. I'm in the trenches. And here I am myself. In the fucking trenches. Am I working? What the fuck are we doing? What are we doing?
We're on house arrest for human trafficking, gambling millions of dollars on imaginary internet coins.
For no reason. Think about how ridiculous this is. This isn't real life.
This is a simulation. Trump's back.
Let's gamble. Let's gamble. You know I don't like you even more now you see. The simple fact you got in there before me. I couldn't fucking get in. Yeah but I'm kind of losing on Trump so it balances out.
You'll be happy.
- Thanks.
And I started the day filming you
Jamming out to this song. I walked in here to tell you good morning.
It is now 1:00 a.m.
One time.
1:30 and you're still listening to the same song.
Depressed. Full 19 hours later. He is depressed. Depressed that we only made 30 grand on Melania when our friends made 10M on Trump.
♪ I know I gotta ♪
♪ Feel my pain ♪
Hello!
♪ I feel so ♪
It'd be super funny if it all went to zero.
you
No one are lucky, Mike.
We would deserve it.
you
you
Anyone, if this goes to zero on anyone,
They deserve it.
Mean coins are just fun.
They're fun and you can either play or not play.
It's like going to the casino.
*Sigh* *Laughs*
Nothing is serious anymore.
I don't think you realize nothing is serious.
Back in the day,
If something happened in the world, it was taken seriously.
The largest fire in history where half of LA burns down.
That's serious.
In this world, people are kind of serious about it a while. Then memes start. And then within 12 hours, no one gives a fuck. Half the city burnt down. No one even talks about it anymore. Nobody cares. Everyone lost their houses.
Yeah, half the city of LA. Later base, who cares? Did you buy LA wildfire coins? I bet that exists.
Of course it does. Nothing matters.
We've lost all seriousness.
Think about it. When's the last time anyone actually gave a shit about anything?
Aliens could literally come down from space and we'd be here looking for the meme coin.
Nothing matters.
Fucking clown world.
Super fun. Super fun.
I'm going to go.
♪
-
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I lied to you about the tape. I'm talking to him, you know what I mean? I ain't gonna fight whatsoever. Tell him, the fucking ninja that's gonna beat me up, to beat me up.
- Nick.
- I'm feeling different in this. - I don't think you should.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- Oh, man.
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
*slap*
- Take a picture.
-
- Yeah.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- How's that?
♪ ♪
I'm not going to do that.
- Good job.
♪ You're so hot ♪
- You're gonna build that.
- Hey.
♪ You know it's a tough time ♪ ♪ I'm on a hard time ♪ ♪ Everybody on time ♪
One minute.
-
Thank you.
♪ ♪
- 30 seconds.
♪ I'm a young man ♪
- Okay.
- Thank you.
and then dancing, then gardens.
- -
you
Yeah.
you
- Hi.
Bye.
-
♪ ♪
Five seconds.
- Okay. - Two seconds, go.
Two seconds.
Time.
For those that don't know, that's the break timer.
- We're gonna do it again. - Toilet time.
♪ The thing is ♪
♪♪♪♪♪
I never.
♪ ♪
Let me just take his arm out. I don't want to waste punches. I'm even more precise with it. The less the shape you are, the less you gotta get hit.
The more clever you got be, you only got less bullets. You gotta become better. It's different when you're in fight shape. You just fucking swing. When I used to do body shots in fight shape, the other guy, I just fucking swing.
The whole fucking time he just punches. - Three minute round, boom, nonstop. - Nonstop, like psychos.
Just keep going. Because you're going to get tired.
Thank you.
But now it's more like, okay, like I get tired halfway through the round and I'm like, all right, okay now I'm getting tired move whack Whack whack whack and I hurt you Yeah, so I'm like, okay, then he doesn't want to come forward now. I can rest and
Yeah. Thank you for the time.
You just count that nine, and it goes four, five, six hooks in a row. That's all he does.
You've got to just pivot and you've got to stick the jab in the middle.
and you gotta push him.
- Yeah, no, like when I do hit him and he stumbles back, he does go off balance. - Yeah, he goes off balance, and not pushing.
Also, when he... Or if I dodge him and he goes off balance. And also, when he hooks, he's off balance. Yeah. Because he has this weird way of hooking where...
He hooks weird. When I hook, my weight's going forward. I do like Roy Jones Jr. gazelle hooks. I jump in.
but he manages to hook while his weight is on his back foot.
It's weird. So if you, as he hooks, even if you just push him,
He'll fly.
- Ah. - So even if you're close, when he goes to hook, just push him. That's what I was doing.
When I was right up close to him, when he went to hook, I was pushing him right up against the wall. Yeah, yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I'm not pushing. I'm literally just
Thank you.
Because his weight's already here and he's swinging.
He's off balance. Whereas it doesn't work on me the same because I hook
I actually jump into my hooks.
Forward yeah, you're looking very snappy - they're not as hard as his but they're just black
Yeah, it's just seeing it.
It's just enjoying the chaos and just seeing it for what it is and just chilling out and going... Like, it's like...
Second nature. Yeah, second nature. It's like...
You think, but you don't think.
It's just experience, I guess. It's doing it forever.
Yeah, that's the thinking bit, the IQ. I can, it's weird, I can watch it,
And be like, this needs to happen. Yeah. But then when I'm in it...
Yeah, that's the chaos. That's the chaos. That's why I always tell the fighters: don't act, react.
You know, because sometimes when you think about something, till you think, boom, done, too late.
You gotta do it.
Second nature, if you drill to kill non-stop, you're drilling, drilling, drilling, drilling, it will be executed when you need it.
Otherwise, you know, he did millions. "Oh, when we do a thousand this, why not? Do ten thousand."
Yeah, but for you, if I had to train you for a fight, the first month, the first month,
would be
Just pivoting on this shoulder all the time. The first month of
Miss, miss.
Miss, Miss, that would be the first month. Could we get one of those- Three hours a day. Until every time someone tried to hit you here or here, just miss.
That's all you need.
And then pin people is easy.
It's not getting hit that's the game. Hitting people, anyone can hit anyone. You get a fucking dickhead off the street can hit you.
Tell him to move. He can't. The game is not getting hit. Hitting is easy.
Four.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Once they're missing and you're landing.
♪ ♪