Transcript
*Mario plays*
Tristan, what are you doing? You're not going to die, Luke. Stop complaining.
Why is it always booze? You can't just drive Ferraris and booze. It's gin and tonic. Yeah, booze. Do you want your driver to feel refreshed and happy?
Sort of. Sort of. You know what you can do, Luke?
attentions and your fucking crybabyness about me drinking and driving is to have a little drink yourself. Take the edge off. Got one for you. I remember you did. Let me find it.
Crack that open. I said I wanted water. So this is better. It's more expensive. If water is one pound and gin and tonics are five pounds, which one's better?
Drink up.
*music*
drinks why why he just keeps doing it today in the car I'm a master of tornado style you weren't there I wasn't there I'm a master of tornado style you understand to do my kido so quickly that it creates a vortex like a tornado goes high into the sky I mean we need to agree eggs ain't real so I can go
I'm tired of this. Okay. Signed? Where? Here? Eggs aren't real. Okay, well. Looks like we came to an agreement, my friend. Thank you very much. One more minute. Tornado style. Tornado style. My tornado style was so feared, I got the police to sign a contract admitting that eggs are not real.
It was that fierce. I actually got the police to sign a contract admitting that eggs are not real. Si.
Marcel, you were there. Si. I said, eggs are not real, senor. Sign here. And he signed it. He signed it. So it's... Mi no hablo tornado styler. Mi no hablo tornado styler. I let him know that I was going to get him. And he signed it away. So now it's official...
It's official.
Yo.
The power should be admitted that eggs are not real. - Eggs are not real. - Eggs are not real. - That's fine. - Run Paul, you need to boom with the eggs are not real. Like with celebration. - Yeah, end of episode. - Yeah, end of episode.
you
you
*music*
I'm on home, yeah yeah yeah. And I'm so happy to say, but I can't stand up and move. And I'm so happy to say, but I can't stand up and move. And I'm so happy to go. I'm making my one out of love.
*Sings* *F*ck* *F*ck* I bought that! *laughs* I can f*cking touch me! Marcel, Tris is a machine! What? He's a machine, Marcel! Marcel, he's a pure machine! *F*ck* *F*ck*
Wait there, wait there, wait there. A dookie dookie. You know what though, you know what though? This bottle's actually too... I need to... Who's got the one glass? Where's Ken? Ken had a glass. You had a glass?
You have a glass? No, the bottle. The bottle. No, because it's too big. Give me the glass. I'll impress you. Ross, give me that glass. I'll impress you. Give me that glass. I'm going to impress you. He will impress you.
Give me a glass, I'm gonna press you. You ready? There's one glass that we all have, yeah?
So let me pour myself a mixed drink, yeah?
No, Tristan is a superhero. You guys have no clue. Tristan is literally a superhero.
If he does it, that's the fucking thing. He's a superhero. He's a superhero. He's a superhero. One stone. How much do you weigh? One.
You won't have to carry him Marcel, he's a superhero.
.
What are we doing? Rolls Royce. Aikido? Rolls Royce, Aikido. No, but you can't just take private jets to go wherever and buy new cars all the time. We already bought the car, Luke. So you have to go get it.
You can't just buy cars and not collect them. That's worse than buying them and going to collect them. Yeah, so we gotta go get it. Drive all the way across Europe. 20 minutes.
that's what we just finished. Welcome to the real world. We're going to make school. What else can we do with the rolls? I'll drive it home. Don't they truck it? Why don't I buy a car to truck it? There's no ceremony. Buying a car to put it on a truck for the truck to drive the car doesn't make any sense. So we're going to do this all this dumb shit we just did basically again. I hope you're ready for some boozing. I'm not sure I can go again. Boozing? Marcel are you coming? I can't come.
Why? I actually can't keep talking to you guys and how you guys do it. Tornado style. Tornado style.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know what's funny about private jets? They literally never ask you to wear a mask ever.
In Spain's mask ass.
Yeah.
Good up.
Funny guy
Yeah.
It's almost as if they know something.
I know rich people aren't going to play fucking music.
games
Thank you.
Bye.
Yeah, no, let's remember this. Take Confidential might not know this man. This man is a champion.
Oh, oh, the sweet sound of...
What?
Why am I being peer pressure?
Because we don't like you
We don't like it.
You started all this shit. You started to beat. Marcel, you started to beat. And I said, listen, this is my life. You bought the script. You think this ends? No, no, they don't realize.
Every day.
- It never ends.
We need this gift for him.
You do need a stiff drink. You need a stiff drink. I remember you always saying you need a stiff drink. Yeah, he did say that lots of times. Loads of times. Loads of times. What do you mean disgusting? It's a nice stiff drink.
different.
and slotted jigs in the morning for breakfast
Okay.
Can't go wrong.
We haven't even had breakfast. That is breakfast. Yeah, I haven't had breakfast. I just had mine. No, no, no. I've had breakfast because mine's gone.
Hey, Tony, do something terrible.
I'm gonna let them know I'm not as fast as these two, but I can still do it.
All three sides...
You ever Marcelo and he was brave first night? Yeah. No, we haven't filmed. They all know. Marcelo family.
All that gin Ingest it in your bones Try the hot chocolate, maybe it'll help
-
-
*cough*
Don't pass off, let's go.
That's not silly.
Yeah.
Oh, Marcel, you feel it, don't you? I do. I know. I've been there. This is me. Welcome to...
Yesterday, the beach club when he was hammered.
He was the coolest guy in the world, coming up to me going,
What is
*laughter* That doesn't mean anything! What are you doing? Go away! *laughter* That was like, "Oh, I'm hanging, bro."
I'll be honest, right?
I thought this day was the day where we get to relax. Oh. Marcel. Marcel. This is our life. The call is not there. This is our life. No, it wasn't an episode. It wasn't like a quick...
Ah, this is un-normal. Yeah, I feel like I was fairly brief.
No.
Sorry.
You've known me for 15 years. No, imagine back in the day.
We used to hang out with you to say, okay,
In 15 years, you're going to hang out with Tristan.
and he's worth 20 million dollars. You don't think that this will happen. I know, I know, it's part of it. Yeah, I do know. You should know. Drink your booze.
They said that there are four more coming.
-
They did order four more. Awesome.
All right, so I understand your guys' side now when you bully me. Yeah, this is fun. This is quite fun.
I know this is quite fun.
Mm-hmm.
You know the worst thing? Me and you have got the hardest. I need my... I know! Get to sit here and chill.
You're only as good as your last trip.
Marcelo, you are only the guest master. Today, who's had more group? Did you ever think that
- 15?
- 15 years.
- Oh, yes.
- Wonderful, how are you?
and my colleague told me that you wanted to
Four more Junetimes at least.
Four months in time. And one cappuccino. And one cappuccino.
Thank you.
for the reason.
Thank you.
Every saying we've made as a child has come back and fuck me over.
You need a stiff drink.
Marcel, you need a stiff drink. I feel like you need a stiff drink. You kept saying it. You do need a stiff drink.
I'm worried.
Yes.
- Thank you.
You're looking better now. Looking much healthier. Nice.
The coffee.
No, hot chocolate. Coffee doesn't help.
-
He drinks hot dog.
All right, cut.
How the fuck have you done this?
But we've done alright. That's right, we've done okay.
No, you don't. It's alright, isn't it? It's crazy. It's crazy that my friend.
I need a stiff drink. I need a stiff drink. What do you mean you need a stiff drink? We just had three stiff drinks. Oh, three drinks a half. It's 10 a.m. It's 10 a.m. We had four stiff drinks.
Fuck. I need a stiff drink. I remember the first time I drank.
What's your cousin doing? You got my cousin. Marcel, we're in this together. To be fair, you are both cousins today. Right now, how you're going on about the stiff drinks. We're not drinking cousins. You are cousins. I'm not sure how you guys do it. Tornado style. So Marcel, can you tell the viewers to take a minute or they're real? Nah, they're just real. 100%. I don't like it. No, and Marcel, the funny thing is they all want to come.
Everyone thinks they- Everyone thinks it's easy. They think it's easy. This is the worst thing in life.
I'm gonna sleep and then I'm gonna chat shit tomorrow. Yeah! Bro, that was messing it up! Bro, non-stop! And then I'm gonna probably message you guys and chat shit tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. Now you need us to through. But bro, bro, when you do that shit and I send a plane ticket to you, then what are you gonna do? Then what are you gonna do? I have no choice but the plane. Oh, Marcel!
I got aboard the plane. Marcel, the plane ticket's gonna come. The plane ticket's gonna come. I'll send the jet.
Yeah. Oh, oh, he wants the booze.
So now Marcel's cornered drinks. You think you can take me on Marcel? You think you can take me off? The glasses have changed now. Marcel. No, Marcel. Marcel, but the altitude's changed.
You don't know about drinking in altitude.
I do. Marcel, how many times have you been at this altitude? At least...
zero times. Listen, when I do tornado style, the first thing I do is I go up to the altitude. To check. To check. It's your space. When I go back down and then boom boom up. I send him up. What you have to understand is that this plane is actually powered. You didn't see me do it earlier. You can thank me later. By the whirlwind of my aikido. Creating a portax. Every time. That sucks the plane into the sky.
And on top of that, eggs ain't real. Who's that now? Marcel.
But he don't need his glass apparently.
Glass. He don't need his glass. Sorry, I'm not an amateur. Take off that job. I do wish you could see my face. It's pure pain from watching it. I didn't even drink it yet. No mixer, thank you very much. I don't do cocktails.
Yeah, I'm gonna take my mixer. I'm gonna take my mixer as well. I'm responsible for a plane flight. Vortex. Vortex. Vortex.
Have they got hot chocolate? Hot chocolate? No. Hot chocolate? No, no, no, no. Marcel, on this plane, there's already hot chocolate.
What are you drinking? That was good. You understand me? That was good. You understand me? That was good. Already here. Listen, I walk in the club. I go up to a bitch. I'm like.
What's up?
You haven't seen that one yet. Can you do that move? Can you do that move?
Why do black people have rhythm? He has not the rhythm. How? Why do you know? It's hot chocolate. Why are you pouring coffee? I'm Brad Justice. I'm waking up. I'm Brad Justice. For my next stiff drink. That's a stiff drink. Marcel.
- He said he could beat me.
- Marcel. - He's gonna beat me. - No, no, he said that. - Marcel, the altitude. - The altitude changes the game. - You're gonna lose. - No, to the negative. It makes you drink worse. - I don't need-- - Better. - I don't need salt and pepper on anything.
- What does that mean? Nothing you do makes sense.
- No, he's not.
- Fuck! Shit! - That means he's drunk.
Happy...
That's my top of the truck.
-
Thank you.
I'm going to go.
It's been non-stop drinking. You don't even want to drink.
I'll give it a lot.
You don't want to drink. Where's Marcel?
- Listen.
Or so. I do.
Thank you.
Welcome to the real world, Luke. The big school.
Thank you.
It's for Barcell.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
So I'm going for lunch
And Andrew wanted to stay for lunch. What did he just order us?
or just three gin tonics what costs more this suit
Thank you.
This tracks or loose existence
That is a very easy question to answer.
I'm not sure Luke's life is worth that tracksuit to me. What I need to do is I need to get my bare hands
tear the fabric of space-time.
Right?
and then we can go through it.
and that will allow us to be in more places that want us.
so we can simul-booms. Luke, can you...
agree.
that the odds of him thinking he's pulled that off increase with every gin and tonic we drink. I do. I agree. So we could be boozing in two places at once.
which will combine into the ether of the atmosphere and the cells in our bodies
will double detect the boob.
to make us stronger than we've ever been.
-
I just need to find a handle in space time. There's air around it. I can't really grab it.
So you have to call out into London.
Start drinking. It's like findable.
-
All the power.
rip through
I'll find a handle in space time.
That's what we need to do.
So that's the mission today.
That's the mission.
- Our life is just a massive whirlwind of dumb shit. We came here for coffee, Tristan bought a Rolls Royce, and now we're back here for coffee after driving around Spain in supercars to collect the same Rolls Royce.
Why? It doesn't make sense, does it? Tristan, explain this to me. We like coffee?
Yeah.
Due to the fact that I think what's happened is we've become super super rich and we feel like the only thing that's left that stimulates us is spending huge sums of money. We need to go to a psychiatrist and we need to work out why we cannot be happy just working a normal 9 to 5. Okay, so I'll put you to the psychiatrist, but when you go to the psychiatrist, just hand me the bank card in the meantime. I'll hold the fort. Yep. Who's the most expensive psychiatrist in the world?
I think we should get them. I can get the most expensive. I think we should. Tell him to fuck himself. Yeah. Book him for 12 hours a day, every single day. I never try not. Call him a loser. He is a loser. Bridget, he's a loser. Good point. All right. This is good. I think we're making progress. All right. Next day, call me a drone to therapy. Nice.
*thud*
What are you guys doing?
Oh, you've never seen this before?
No. Men like you would know.
Angolanians have seen this, a few people.
Burgers.
Very few. This is called the New Bro's Roist Dance.
*BOOM* *BOOM*