Transcript
♪♪
Let's get you a ride.
- No, no, you're not. - No, you're not. - Is my car still here? Is the car I bought still here? - No, it's not in practice. - One minute, one minute.
But in Christian life, we need to know
Okay.
We don't need two Rolls Royces. No, I did. Fuck. You should call me Darren. I fell in love with you.
- Don't tempt us, we're that crazy.
Andrew, give me a second one. He's trying to sell me a second one.
Yeah.
- That's nice. - Thanks for Dr. Cendrilli just giving me pain. - I know you don't.
If you haven't had a bonus,
Thank you.
You can make a little soap out of it.
We're gonna be Jewish.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- Nah, we're fine, we're fine. - We're okay, man. - We've drunk enough.
No idea what's going on. Whereas you've often, the last six days,
Every light.
- Right.
for a lifetime.
How do you want your ratio? Do you want your ratio to dust?
Thank you.
Yeah, fine.
That's fine.
- 'Cause you just sat there to say that's fine.
the
And there's Rolls-Royce pens as well. We'll get them next time. When we go for lunch next time, we'll take the pens. These are spare umbrellas for our billiards. Yes.
So you've got umbrellas in the car.
Yes, he's just with a trunk, yeah.
and make a weapons program.
I'm making weapons. I'm getting sore. I know. Then already.
Thank you.
What are you guys doing? Oh, you've never seen this before?
No. Men like you would--
Anyone on the internet seen this? A few people?
Very few.
very few. This is called the New Rolls Voice Dance.
when you buy a girl's voice.
contents exactly like this.
Oh, so like a ritual? Yeah, you're unfamiliar with the dance, obviously.
How many girls worked at the View Ball? How many? None. Loser. So they never taught you the steps?
- When they teach you guys. - When your bank balance goes above 3M, they teach you the steps.
in preparation.
Okay. Puzzle carefully choreographed.
The new Rolls Royce dance.
-
Four beers of champagne. Good news, I have some breaking news. You
Get to be the first one to drive on the Rolls-Royce.
I.
I'm drinking champagne with my friend Steven. - That's fair, that makes sense. - That's fair, you do the driving,
I'll do the drinking.
I can always do the drink driving.
But Brandy Rolls-Royce,
London.
Scratch your wheel.
Bye.
Look for sexy boots.
No, thank you. Complementary champagne.
- On Rolls Royce. - Yeah, but it's only for people who buy Rolls Royce.
True. True. You need to know the dance moves.
- He doesn't know dance. - Yeah, that way, now you can't have any shit.
What?
I'll have to be
I actually lost my voice.
Talking too loud with my clothes on.
Chainsaw could keep the space. Where is Spain? Where is Spain? We drove through from top to bottom. We started in Santander and drove all the way through, all the way down to Monaco. And then we drove out of the canteen and passed through London. The copy's done.
*sniff*
soldier dog.
*thud*
Rolls Royce boots. Yeah, Rolls Royce boots.
I'll do the congestion charge for you today, I'm just going to...
Appreciate that. Thank you very much.
Justin Charles.
- Let me definitely get out of line.
Thank you.
Oh.
It is beautiful. It's very nice.
Why are you guys getting up? What do you mean? This...
fair the back seats are a bit small listen i think you two should get an uber that's a brand new rolls royce get an uber stop talking to me you should both get an uber ah ah touche you're lucky or you'd be in an uber that's for you you cunt fuck what are you what's your leverage
if i'm walking should have worn your walking shoes
you
Some light rain with my morning coffee. The storm is coming.
And this light rain is the exact situation we're in right now.
I don't know if many of you people understand,
But if you do not instantly buy the lies,
If you do not instantly agree with the narrative which they purport,
You are their enemy. They hate you.
They don't just dislike you.
They actively despise you.
The more you think and question their narrative, the less powerful their narrative is.
I don't even have to say what I'm talking about. I don't want to get banned.
Right? But it can be about anything.
Imagine you're in charge of the world. Imagine the ego you have as you're in charge of the world. You own all the media outlets, you control all the money, and you say, "This is true."
The sky is green.
And somebody goes,
But I've used my own eyes and it's blue.
That hurts your ego.
Who are you to question me?
They don't like you as a person. They actively despise you as an individual, and they're aiming to crush you.
The only limit.
on authoritarianism.
is the will of the police to enforce it.
Look at Australia.
If the police are stupid enough,
to completely enforce absolute tyranny,
This is what the people in charge of the world want.
In countries like Romania, they can't get away with it because the police won't do it to their fellow man.
But that's changing in real time.
The only way you can combat things like this
is, in my experience, a strong network of individuals. Maybe you think you're so tough and you're a lone wolf and you can do it all by yourself and you can just hide in your computer and you can
Or you can fucking go Rambo.
Maybe.
For me as an individual, I believe I need more powerful friends.
I think the more powerful friends I have, the better I'm going to be in the future.
So every morning I wake up and I'm sitting there thinking, okay,
If I need passports, who do I call? If I need paperwork, who do I call? If I get arrested, who do I call? If I need banking, who do I call? If I need crypto, who do I call?
I'm trying to find out what is missing in my network to make sure I always have a guy to call.
If you think
This impending tyranny and slavery is something you can negotiate by yourself. If you're Rambo, go do it.
But if you're like me and smart enough to know you're gonna need a little bit of help,
Good work.
♪ music playing ♪
*Rain*
How much? $4,000? About that. Well, we hang around with a kid who will not stop wearing $40 New Balance trainers. They're not $40, they're $100.
Don't make fun of the price of my New Balance trainers. How long have you had them for?
Because they look like shit. Maybe a year. Why won't you just dress better? What do you mean? They're good shoes. So tell me you don't notice my New Balance trainers. So we can have the rolls. I'm in a tailored suit. Yeah. You're in one of the world's most expensive tracks in the second most we exist. And this kid's wearing New Balance trainers. Yeah, we might be poor, Andrew. No group of rich men would roll like that. We might be poor. We're poor on us all looks. I retract my handshake.
group of men. We're not poor. We are poor. Buy some new trainers. This was literally bought, basically, for fun. It didn't, it was not a planned out purchase. It was, we're walking by to get coffee. Yeah? Huh. That's what I wanted to do. That's a good car. Yeah. Let's go look at it.
Let's buy it. So? That's not a poor person thing. But if you walk out with the car in New Balance trainers... Then you're poor. Then you're poor.
Our group of friends is poor.
Me and Andrew are at least
mid-level income.
Because we have an impoverished man on our team.
- I think there's only 10,
shirts in the world.
10. Okay, hear me out. I'm wearing one. You're wearing one. He's one. That's three. Okay, four, five,
Six.
Wait, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Where's the rest? It's 11, bro. No one else could possibly have a Sherwin.
Man, this does feel good. Takeoff Financial doesn't know. That felt good. Smooth. Brakes feel good as well.
So we're cruising through England. Yeah. And I never knew about the hedges. Yeah. They put hedges on the side of every road, and it's the widest car in the world. They're about one centimeter from the hedges on either side.
The mirrors brush them.
Lightly brushed mirrors. Scratch that new paint. Scratch that new paint. Nice. Devalue the car we just paid half a million dollars for. Nice. Nice. Wonderful attitude. Wonderful fucking attitude.
I did not know England was like this.
Listen guys, it's worth it. We're out of afternoon tea. Nice. Don't start that shit.
tea what do you mean we're in a rolls in england we're not gonna have afternoon tea exactly that doesn't make sense you're too good for that you cunt okay well i know where we're going it's probably the best place you get to have afternoon tea don't tell anyone where it is though don't show any of the signs cool keep it hidden we're working out
so
♪
This is really nice.
Hmm.
I'm glad you wore proper shoes.
Yeah, I have new shoes again. See, he likes to come to nice places.
Why do I have to eat if you want to eat?
Thank you.
Might have been more comfortable to walk around with some New Balance.
I think we
Good day.
English people are so much nicer than Americans.
Maybe dress better, so...
Yeah, this is
So the American viewers, they do this.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
There's just people.
If there was an American here, without instruction from his cousins, he'd be wearing New Balance sneakers and sweatpants.
- I would.
- Six.
Thank you.
We got it.
We spot them.
This is very nice.
Thank you.
Huh?
Pick up your rolls of rice and go for an afternoon tea. I know. No, it's super English. You put your fifty thousand pounds worth of shopping in the boot.
Thank you.
Yeah, London shopping.
No.
and then you come for afternoon tea.
So why were you working at your home?
I don't know.
I could have just done this the whole time. Yeah, basically, yeah.
Why don't people just do this all the time? That's the thing, people watching.
I don't... I don't... You think we're joking.
While you're doing your $9.50 a buck, you could just be doing this.
They really could.
They could. You can join Huxlers University and you can do it.
and I said to him, "Look, it's not just university.
It's $49 a month. I teach you how to make money. Even if you hate me, I obviously know how to make money. And they sit there and they go,
Hmm
nah that's why i don't get it how stupid are they they're stupid bro anyone who's not anyone
where the brain is in Hustlers University. Anyone who watches this episode and doesn't join is literally a moron.
I'm literally a moron.
We put that screenshot up today on Twitter. I know. The guy put 500 into 30,000. I know. And all he did was let you just follow our instructions. That's literally what happened. Buy this. Do this. Boom. 30 grand. That's literally what happened.
People deserve sleep.
They supernaturally. They want to be slaves.
They super do.
So why weren't you doing this?
Well, it didn't exist when I was working at Chipotle, to be fair.
These new ways of generating money are brand new. And these people don't know they exist. And we will teach them.
if they will listen. I know. And in ten years...
until like
Lots of people are gonna be making good money, doing all the stuff we're doing. And you're gonna think, "Let me jump on the back of my new Nowy." Man, they have no idea about speed.
Literally zero.
Literally.
They're gonna watch this. They're gonna think, "Hmm, that's a good idea."
And then they're gonna continue watching.
PORNHOUSE.
Yeah.
take their time, do do do, and then they'll forget
They'll remember again in like two weeks. Be like, oh, oh yeah, I was right about to do that.
- Who is it?
They're slaves. Literally slave people. Yeah, slave people. But we did need them to bring the tea and the food and...
So.
Because this is very very nice
And I don't know how to make one of these.
No. This is English. You've never had a scone? Oh, you're a piece of shit. Are they hard or soft? How come you've never had a scone?
It's kind of like a biscuit. Like grandma's biscuits. You ever had grandma's biscuits?
I'm gonna put it here.
- Thank you.
I made you a stone. Don't stand under it. Is this the way? This is the scone way.
It's not being there.
This is how English people do it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Amen.
- Okay.
I can't see my face.
But English people have it right. -Sounds good. Now, stones and tea. -You're ungrateful colonial.
tipped our tea in the ocean and started dressing like crap. Yeah, I don't know why we did that, to be honest. To be fair, why did we do that to the tea? Tea's really good. We just kept wearing nice clothes and doing English things.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Wade's boring us and then we bet baseball.
Thank you.
Disgusting.
I'm English now.
What was it called?
It's gone.
No, I mean the people who decided to stay with England. A loyalist? I'm a loyalist.
Bye.
I'm sorry.
All right.
Although you are half French, so you're a mortal enemy for life and we don't like it.
Fuck.
*Loud rain*
Yeah, first of all,
May 13th.
Monu-
Thank you.
I'm glad you...
So the emergency meeting's on.
Oh yeah, merge meeting.
Guys, it's 4 a.m.
What's that? 4 a.m. Aikido in the rolls. It's actually 4 a.m. Stately Home Aikido.
In a Rolls Royce. In a Rolls Royce. 4 a.m. stately home, Rolls Royce, Aikido. You ever seen that before, Luke?
I have not. I don't think anyone's seen that before. That's why we're here. I don't think it's ever been filmed live.
First time, first time in a straight line.
Okay, some dickhead in Luton on a roundabout.
I'm not even sure how you do that, Crash. By being drunk or high. Would it be a straight on? Yeah, straight on. You don't see the roundabout. I'm trying my night vision so we can analyze his crash. Okay. Night vision. My Rolls Royce night vision. Nice. Why is that guy yellow?
in the night vision.
Guys, we may have just discovered vampires.
Pretty high. But, I don't know, they're definitely fucked. They're definitely high. No, that's a vampire. He's yellow on the night vision camera.
Literally look at his car In the bush There see he's yellow He's fucking yellow
I'm telling you
Something special about that one.
How the fuck did they do that? I don't know. Start fast and ask him.
We don't pass you. Yeah, we do. We're coming over from there.
Ah, that's how. Oh.
We can't wait to get our makeup done.
So we're going to France.
Your dream. My home country.
Your dream.
Mask, or no mask mask.
French are fucking losers. If you're watching this and you're French, you're a fucking loser.
losers all of them yeah Luke they're fucking losers man
- It's COVID, the phone man. - Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Why don't they just let us in? Smove it!
They don't know anything about Shmovid, do they? I don't know anything about Shmovid. I got my Shmovid form. Two. I'm this guy. I'm 54. I've worked hard my entire life. I can afford a Ford fucking whatever it is. And I have a bike. I put my bike on my car. And I walk two or three times a year. I go to... Can you stop coughing COVID all over me? I'm trying to take confidential.
Shmovid Aikido.
to France and I ride around on my bike.
three or four times a year. And if you sit and talk to me, I tell you, Oh, I was prediction princess. We can't,
Went for a nice ride. Yeah, well, you take the bike on the tunnel. You put it on the car.
Two.
Like you're the least interesting. What a fucking loser. People's lives are shit. No millions.
No buying supercars at random. No being the kickboxing world champion.
Nothing.
Just working your entire life to buy a Ford, whatever. I literally don't know what car that is.
He even put the GB sticker on his car.
Because the French are like, "We must know you are from England." The number plates yellow, bro. There's no other country in the world with that. You know we're from England. The wheel's on the other side. You know we're from England. You just want us to have the sticker. We don't have the sticker, they fine us 40 euro. Instead of being a man, tell them to fuck themselves, give me the fine.
You put the sticker. There's no sticker on my rolls.
Look at this door.
Now do the guy in front.
Oh, a Mr. fucking camper van. Jerking off. Can't afford to stay in hotels. Fucking satellite hook up to Pornhub. And what about this guy letting him on the fucking train?
Hi mate, yeah, I'm in charge of this train, yeah. Put the car on the train. Alright, next. Yeah.
Hello, mate. Yeah, you're going on the train, yeah? Yeah, yeah, just go on the train. Yeah, thanks.
Alright, next, yeah? Yeah, look. What the? Everyone's life is shit. 50 years later, he dies. 50 years later, he can afford a fucking car with his bike on it and goes for a little ride. He might get discounts on the train.
Oh shit.
train discounts we paid full price i get this not this porn hub description
all right porn hub yeah yeah thought so
told you confirmed
This is very nice.
Both of you keep coughing. Am I in the car with two? You both have COVID. This is the COVID car. So? Smove it. Get over it. You got COVID on the trip. Who's the one who preaches
I'm literally not afraid of it, but literally this is the COVID. There's a new variant in this car. Yeah, there is.
Hitching. You know, I've been holding it back for super long.
Is this the Rolls Royce variant of COVID? Yeah. The Rolls variant. No one's ready for the fucking Rolls variant. Literally no one. They're really not. Kills poor people.
So you're fine.
Makes the rich stronger. Makes the rich stronger. It's the Czech Republic nice. It's actually super nice. Maybe we should move here. Become the king. Become the king of Czech Republic. Ah, I know what we do. Rolls vary in. Spread it all around. Kill all the people. Easy takeover. Boom, done. Alright, I'll open the window.
See ya, losers! They're riding bikes, they're definitely going. The fuck? So it's been unleashed on the world. Unleashed!
*Rain*
Tristan, you've literally not stopped boozing.
I went to my room, so I couldn't record it for All Takeoff Venture, but Tristan went out after a 17-hour drive. 17 hours.
He went out.
Boozin'.