Transcript
*BOOS* Boo's case. What do you mean boo's case? A case full of booze.
Thank you.
What do you mean, what do I mean? Four bottles of Johnny Walker Black Label, six of vodka, bottle of Fruscavizza, Red Bulls, Sparkle of Wraps. It's a bunch of booze, smokes and... Yeah, smokes, well, sorry, it's a booze inspired scratch.
I'm gonna take that.
This is Cotton Candy.
Thank you.
it's a it's a nutritious breakfast drink it's called a magic breakfast
So it's pure sugar and pure booze. Yeah, basically. It's, it's poison.
Cheers.
Water
Magic breakfast. Let's go.
You know, it's fucking delicious. For those who are watching, never let Tristan order you breakfast because this is what happens. Jewel, I tell J Confidential all the time. They don't believe me. They think it's a joke. Why is this called breakfast? It's a magic breakfast, Jewel. It's not, though, is it? Look, look, the cotton candy disappears. It's magic. Okay, the magic is there, but it's not breakfast, Jewel. That's pure sugar. No, not with that, Jewel. It's not. It's pure, pure sugar. Cheers, gentlemen.
What was?
Don't let me order your breakfast. You're not letting tea order your breakfast. Yeah, cheers. What happens.
I told him I didn't want one.
It doesn't matter.
Is it alcohol? Of course it's alcohol.
What is this, amateur hour? Of course it's all the time. I ordered you one too. Put a cocktail on the way.
What do you think, we have a few shots of Dave? Oh, who's Dave?
After the boys relentlessly warning me about the threats of the Eastern European Mafia, it seemed only natural that they decided to drink in a bar named Mafia.
You mean who's Dave? Dave? I don't know any Dave. You do know Dave. Here's a chicken suit on him.
Jesus. What am I doing?
*thud*
What the f*** are you doing? Andy T! You're early man. Let's go drinking with Dave. Who the f*** is Dave?
Yeah, he's like me.
Thank you.
Who's Dave? This is a table for two. Luke.
If Dave was here
he'd drink like a hero and fall down the stairs. - The night ended with Andrew's favorite impression of me. I made some new friends going down the stairs.
Lovely little bloke.
and quite forceful. Although he had enough by this point and, um, oh,
That happened.
Why don't you ever do that? You fall down those stairs. No, you fall down much higher stone stairs and damage his face for the remainder of the series. You've never done anything, Matt, Epic, Take On Potential, have you? I did cut my pinkies.
Oh, this is not going to end well.
Please.
God damn it.
Yep.
Oh.
*Gunshot*
God damn it. How bad is it? I'm not saying that.
Where is it? Oh, shit. Yeah.
Yeah.
You did cut your pinkies and cried about it for ages about the name Baby Hens for the rest of your life. Dave smashed his face into the floor and just carried on me to hear it.
Why'd he do that? - 'Cause he was boozing with Tristan.
You need to start doing something like that. You need to learn from Dave.
I don't need to learn from Dave. It doesn't sound good. Dave doesn't sound good.
I'll tell you said that.
Shit.
Is Dave going to get me?
Backpack.
You got all your stuff? Yep. Do it to this, please.
It's group suppliers, so they must not be on the issue.
What the fuck is this?
It's booze cases.
What do you mean booze case? Booze case full of booze.
What do you mean what do I mean?
four bottles of johnny walker black label six of vodka bottle of frusca pizza it's a bunch of booze smokes and yeah oh smokes well sorry it's a booze and smoke it's grand bull yeah we're going camping we're going camping yeah exactly
Now, you can go for yourself.
Got my buck knife on my hip.
Boona. In case you refuse to carry the booze case, that's what this is for.
- So that's what that's for, and this is the booze case? - Yeah, that's the booze case, and this is to make sure you carry it. - And this is the group supplies? - Well, you can have some, it's mine, but I'll pour you one if you like.
Barbara Grimmie and all this can't be. This isn't normal.
Get on the bus.
Peace
- Come on.
Bye.
*crickets*
*
- The building has lumber.
- The construction noise from the house is too invasive.
So we've decided to evacuate.
- Do it back to me again.
Yeah, we're gonna go camping with loads of booze.
and loads of women.
That's the plan.
It's a great camping adventure. That's right.
women and booze luke women and booze listen this is all life's always ever been about the same
and think
Women and booze.
And they keep using drills when they're renovating our house. So we're going camping.
with a bunch of women.
and Tristan's booze case. This is what we do, even when we go camping.
Exactly.
There's always women in booth.
Correct.
I'm trying to take a break. Ah, he promised me he's not going to. No!
fucking box. No. It's horrible isn't it Jules? Fucking serious. Welcome to big school. Is this big school? Take me to big school on the range. I won't go to big school. This is what I use. Ah.
I'm Ikeo into my mind.
My hands are busy. What's no whiskey? Which is Aikido? For breakfast. It's 9am by the way. It is 9am. Here someone take it. Someone take the poison. For now. You want something to wash my back with? I got mixers Luke. I got mixers? Luke I got mixers. Take it to Aikido. It's where they feel the Aikido through the force. I got that back. Luke I got mixers. You want mixers? Here watch your back with this.
No thanks. I'm fine.
I'm going to continue dehydrated. I'm busy on. I'm doing that. I don't look thirsty. I don't look thirsty. If Tate Confidence could see my face as they do this. You look thirsty. You're a thirsty. It's going to be a long trip, brother. It's going to be a long trip. Why are you dizzy? No trashies. Now we're talking.
*Mario's voice*
Luke, in this one. Tristan, it's been nonstop shots. Fucking dog. Booze bag. This tent. Get the fuck in. All right.
it's leaving non-stop shots non-stop literally no stop yeah it's been one after the other for for what i'm sorry since when did the tate family retreat look at this beautiful surrounding doesn't make you want some booze no it makes you not want to listen our tate confidential viewers will know that we barely hardly ever drink they don't that's a lie
- Take a minute if you know that we almost never vote.
Is this what camping is? Is this camping? I'm just cold and drunk.
It's two.
1:30.
Bye.
No.
Thank you.
Oh.
I've had... is this all it is?
Warm up there, it's bulls.
This can't be camping. People love camping.
We're having a great time. No, it's fucking cold. Thumbs up.
I'm not.
No more.
This can't be fucking camping. Camping's supposed to be fun. I was excited. You need to fuck yourself. Drink some booze. Booze knife.
Camping. Camping shit.
You don't be camping. This can't be camping.
No, I don't want no more booze. No, no, no more booze.
He looked for his boozing knife. I know who you are. I saw your eyes go down to where you usually hold your boozing knife.
Oh, I forgot. Almost. Well, keep fucking dreaming. That's a person water. Sure.
No, that's my person. That's a person water. It's cool. Fuck your whiskey.
Camping's fucking ass.
This is shit. What shit? Tristan, it's fucking cold. My feet are constantly wet because of the snow. And I'm just getting fucked. It's because of your shoes on. Your shoes are wet. Tristan, what the fuck are you doing? Camping.
Just aren't you cold? Got a jacket right here. It's not a jacket, it's fucking Jack Daniels.
Nice hot coffee up here in the Carpathian mountains.
It was only minus 7 last night. I think it's around freezing now. Perfect weather for camping, you know? I guess if I were to go back to Dubai like I've done before, get a yacht like I did before, fill up with 30 bitches like I did before, I'm like, oh, Tate's rich, Tate's rich. But I'm still rich when I go camping. I just like camping.
It's nice, there's a little bit of a survival element, it's hard, I get to be cold, I have to make a fire. I like it this way.
don't judge me doing basic things yeah i fly around on lear jets yeah you know travel the world shooting guns but also do basic things also i'm a man of the people
I come from humble beginnings.
I wasn't born rich.
I came from the bottom of the bottom, and I made it to the top of the top, ultra high net worth individual. A person with
a net worth in excess of $30 million.
Bye.
Pro-Boy!
And I wake up every day fucking happy.
I thank the universe. Thank you, universe. God, wherever you are out there in the fog, thank you very, very much.
for giving me what I deserve, because I've worked very, very hard to be rich.
And I'm very, very happy I am rich. Because if I wasn't rich, watching the last two years of fucking chaos would panic me.
If I wasn't rich, these last two years would have me in a fucking tailspin. They're destroying your currency and they're taking your freedom and they're wrecking your fucking life.
and your dumb ass
broke.
isn't sitting there going, "Fuck, I need to get rich."
Can't give you problems.
I found my way out.
Haven't you noticed?
my life.
Court case, court case, court case, here I am!
Pampin'
They can't lock me up!
I'm too fucking rich.
You can't tell me to stay home, too rich.
Can I maybe wear a mask?
Can't make me get a dance. Can't tell where to go. Can't tell me shit.
because I'm fucking
You fucking fucker!
Slate.
You pee-offs!
If you're number one concerned
right now in your life.
is it getting money into your fucking bank account? Internal slavery awaits you.
That awaits you and your entire fucking bloodline.
Get your shit together.
or you're fucked.
*Mario*
*music*
.
Music
It's literally snowing. It's snowing. You can hear the snow. If they could feel this, it's cold. It's ice.
Shut the fuck up.
There is no light without dark. There's no warm without fucking cold.
Sometimes it's cold. That's how life works. If you ever experienced any fucking pain in your life, you'd understand that you sit here in the cold and you shiver.
And you think of, it doesn't matter, because soon I'll be warm again. Yes, we're fucking cold. Sorry, Luke. I'm sorry Luke's cold. Oh, no. It was nice and warm in Chipotle when Luke was working in fucking Chipotle before he flew him across the Atlantic living with his fucking millionaire cousins. I bought him a Ferrari. I bought you a Ferrari. Two days in a fucking tent, you're crying your eyes out. You're not going to fucking die.
Stop crying.
It's cold. We went fucking camping. It starts snowing. We don't look like more to fucking earth. You want me to go up to fucking heaven, fix the clouds?
Fuck you, it's cold, so what?
Won't be cold if we have a fucking straightener, you dickhead. Snow straightener? If you're so fucking cold, we'll go out to the fucking cold right now. I'll knock you out fucking cold, you cunt.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm not even cold.
Thank you.
What are we doing?
Luke. What's that? FTO. Do you know what that stands for? Oh. It stands for Andrew Needs More Calls.
It can't be that.