Transcript
We have what we like to call an open door policy. What does that mean? There was an issue where there was a really hot lawn and I had a locksmith issue so we kicked that bitch in. Wait.
It's never locked.
It is gonna be horrible. This is ass. I'm just saying.
Now.
I feel safe.
with him behind the wheel. Now. After the fifth one. Finally.
Finally we feel safe. I feel safe. This doesn't make sense. Am I insane? Am I crazy?
Take all entrepreneurs. Am I the crazy one? What's this?
Yoga fire!
Yoga fire.
Am I the crazy one? Yes.
- Yeah.
No, I think I'm around a bunch of fucking crazy people.
all the time.
Woo! Look at them!
Go hang out with someone else.
Nerf.
Or have it with your own kind, down at the chess club or the library. We're boozing.
Why am I here?
Woo! Woo! What are we doing?
out these people. We should not lose that.
Sweet Ali never believed she'd drink her own love. And now we're swimming gasp. So now we're so salty. That's why you sober up. Yeah it is.
All my exes live in Texas. And Texas is the place I didn't love to be.
Some girls don't like boys like me.
I got plenty of these! Let's go! Take no one else I hate it for doing beers in London! But it doesn't let no country to!
Why are we doing this? I know! So they're waiting up here now? Yeah, there's little police up there. You know what I'm gonna do? And I swear to God, if the police stop us, I'm gonna-
I'm going to throw some cans in the police. You know what? Listen, listen, listen. I'm driving. Fuck those motherfuckers. I'll throw another beer at the bus.
I'm taking the blame. What's wrong with these people? What? What's wrong with me? Yeah. What's wrong with you people? What's wrong with you? I'm not a fucking...
Boo! Woo! Woohoo!
Why are we on a boat? Where are we going? We're pirates. Hey, hey, hey, that's how you- Cowboy pirates. That's not a thing. Hey, did I tell you about Redneck Ice, sir? That's the Redneck Ice. I'm about to tell you, motherfucker. Two trash bags.
Get some ice? Let's call it a redneck.
Fucking ice chest. Well two trash bags as a man who I consider, I'm basically a piece of trash. Give me that fucking beer. There you go white boy. Thank you very much my half white boy. Half white boy. I'm a full white boy. I'm half white. I'm half white.
What are we doing? We're all super hammered. Why are we doing in Miami on jet skis? We shouldn't be here.
What are we... - Mine's the slowest one. Ha! You're slow!
No, you're slow.
Yes I am. Yeah you are. I'm gonna go full pelt the whole way. Watch you catch up with me. Alright, so he's gone full. Got me super wet.
Ah, he's slow! He's the slow one!
So take confidential.
Tristan is naturally slow.
Be slow.
He can't go.
He is slow.
Tristan slow Tristan slow
- Have a nice day, mate. - Bye. - Don't check, bro. You think I can't get holes in her jet. You don't know me. I'm from the streets, bro. I'm from the streets.
- We got two things for you on this island. - Well, first of all, so we bought these genuine Cuban cigars. - These are real Cubans. - When we left Romania. - Wait, they're actually real Cubans. - I know, I know. - We bought them. - I know, real Cubans. - The last time we left Romania,
And so, take your picture. - Don't call me a gentleman again. - A degenerate, a degenerate. - Thank you. - Yeah, the degenerates. - Let's be honest. - Just so we don't get too classy, show 'em the redneck ice chest. - Oh, the redneck ice chest. - Oh, the redneck ice chest. - What do you mean, redneck ice chest? - Oh, redneck ice chest. - Turn around, turn around. - Redneck ice chest. - Two bags. - Two plastic bags. - Filled with ice. - No, no. The middle one, you fill with ice. - Like, I got it. - And you have an insulating layer
with the second... They're fucking trash bags. Yes. And they were insulating a layer.
Ice cold beer. Ice cold. Sorry, I don't want to question the men of Louisiana. But why wouldn't you just put one bag with ice hands? Yeah, I'm confused. Insulating layer. Insulating layer. We need insulating layer. I mean insulating layer. But it doesn't make any sense.
The beer for the ice. Why do I just have one girlfriend? *laughter*
They got you. All I know is, about five minutes ago, everyone here was looking at my ass. My jet ski is slow. My jet ski is slow. So who's the homo? You were all staring at my naked ass five minutes ago. So who's gay? Redneck ice chest, motherfucker. What is this? Luke, take your booze. Why am I with these degenerates? Take your fucking booze. Take your fucking booze. Fuck Luke, we only have five more beers anyway.
Only. We'll get more. Don't worry. I'm going to pick a truck and find a gap. Alright, so let's hang out here until we have to drive back.
Mine's slow as fuck. Mine's fuck. Humans, it could be because you're very, very heavy. Yeah, I think you can't drive. Honestly, it's...
It's Walter.
Folks don't work that way. Justin isn't. Wait till he's in McLaren. I'm in the Aston and I overtake his Aston. Boom! I'm going to be McLaren slow. Oh, it's so slow.
They got you, Tristan. We all know your jet ski is just as fast as everyone else's. It's your slow. You're too afraid to press the button. You're too afraid to go all the way down. So you go like a quarter of the way.
It's okay, Tristan. I know sometimes it's fast.
Let's go!
Oh, yeah.
- Speed, speed gyms.
- Hold on tight, we're about to get ready. Right here, at Paul Smith University.
Hold on tight. We're about to get rich. It's right here at Halston University.
We'll be right back.
you
*music*
So why do you why do you want me to film we have what we like to call an open-door policy? What does that mean? There was an issue where there was a really hot lawn and I had a locksmith issue so we kicked that bitch in. Wait.
It's never locked. We've been out all day. Who the fuck is gonna mess with us?
What do you mean? They'll just do it when you're not home
Yeah.
Nah, we'll find them. They live on our fucking floor, Luke. That's right.
It beats their odds. - That's right.
Don't worry. We don't need doors and locks and outlets. So everything in here is free.
Yeah, basically. Free booze! They have loads of free cigars. Free booze.
Absolutely nobody
as tough.
Until now. If we're crazy enough. I wonder how easy it is to take the TV off.
Free TV. - It's fine bro.
Now we know where you can go to the biscuit was loo, so if you have a biscuit, it's loo.
Free things.
- Yeah, it's free. - So this is the free house. - Yeah, it's free. - So free.
Thank you.
free your suicide. Yeah. Yeah.
Just push paste. Grab the microphone Justin. Yeah. I'm not singing. Yes you are. Here we go. Put, put, put Rick, put Rick, Ashley and I'll sing it. You're singing Justin. I'm not singing. Justin you're singing. Oh my God.
Yeah, that's what she said here. This is too much. Let's go.
Just throw a kiss as you roll away. He never hung his hat on. Get it. At Kitties Blaze. I should have been a cowboy.
I should've learned to roll the ride!
you
We're in a third world country.
- So what was that dance you did last summer in Miami? - Oh, the "This is My House" dance.
You don't know this is my house? You just can't keep buying houses.
Yeah. Yeah.
Paul.
- Little pool, you can buy a plug.
Yeah, we need a boat. We don't need a boat. We never use the boat. So basically the hotel
It was terrible.
$2,000 a night.
- Per room, yeah per room. And then you have to pay $15 for wifi. - No, it's fucking gay. - It just doesn't work. - I know.
In my room, there's no signal for it.
I was like, phones all don't work. The fucking phone signal's trash.
We have SIM cards. We have American SIM cards. We went to go buy them.
I actually think we're in a third world country. I figured it out. Yeah, literally America's in third world countries now we're at a 13 million dollar house and
on the Miami...
Fucking
canal team
And we're just gonna have to do what we do best, which is just keep flexing on our burke boys. But the fucking hotel is a joke. Let's hire a barman than a chef. A barman and a chef? Barman, chef, I'll do a bit of a wrangle, a few shots for Luke.
No, I don't need these. What do you think? No. I mean yesterday we started drinking
at 10 a.m. and then we drunk and then the jet skis and we were drunk the whole time. We went to that restaurant afterwards and we were drinking there and then we went to a club and then we drunk.
Woke up today feeling absolutely terrible. Well I finished drinking at 4:00 so I'm actually still on the buzz.
So we quickly get the shots in. But no, no. Hang on, before I start feeling tired, I just start...
Boozing now. I can just ride the fucking wave. We don't need to ride the wave. To the promised land.
Silver fire. Yoga fire!
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm not aware of his presence.
No one will ever get our jokes. Ever.
Luke, is your mom singing?
Is your mom singing? I call my mom fat. Yeah, see, the fat woman's not singing. I can't hear her. Can you hear her? What you mean, that ain't over. We've just fucking begun.