Transcript
you don't stop thinking you do you don't do any sf9 no no you don't because i get to be a spaceman i know it's a space thing inside man spaceship
I don't need a DBS Rockabee James.
So Bucharest is now cold and rainy.
I have an iPad for the jacuzzi. Look, I can light something up for my iPad. It's not an iPad. That isn't fixing my problem. It is rainy ass. We fixed the cold problem. The jacuzzi is warm. The jacuzzi is nice. The jacuzzi is warm. So we fixed that problem. But it is actually three degrees and rainy. It's cold. Yes.
cold rain.
the rain's ass
When I sit in cold rain, I'd be in London.
Let me tell you all. See you.
There's things happening in Dubai, there's things happening in Thailand, there's things happening in Miami, but that's not the best place to go right now to avoid the rain and the cold. Use your fucking mind and peer into space time with your third eye.
tell me
Number one, best destination to go to avoid the rain and the cold. Brazil. Egypt. Wrong and fucking wrong.
Guess I'm gonna have to show you homos the old-fashioned way, ain't I? There can't be less rain than Dubai, a desert. Luke, if you don't want to be in the rain, why don't you just trust me and get on the plane? And I'll take you somewhere where you'll never be in the rain again. So you don't feel any pain. And you don't go insane.
Alright, maybe we should take a train.
Where the fuck we going?
- Thank you.
I came here despite feeling it.
like total
ass. I'm super sick.
You could hear it in my voice. You could see it in my face. So it's COVID, and he's spreading it to the world. It might be COVID. It might be super COVID.
Anyway...
You keep ordering drinks as if it's going to save you.
Jägerbeister used to be a call from flu medicine.
It used to be. Whiskey probably does kill germs.
Listen, I'm going to say.
- -
We? Why are we back in London?
Listen. I want to go somewhere. It wasn't raining. I've taken us off.
because one, I'm going super jumping.
and two
Is it raining?
it's not raining but it's cold and dreary and it looks like it's gonna rain at any moment
Is it right?
I'm gonna take you where I start writing these, sir.
Did he not deliver all his progress? He did. Man of his word. Now listen, we don't spend enough money. I'm upset.
I'm not gonna say it, you could blanket the number out.
We have a net worth right now
$6 million dollars. Blank that out.
What are we waiting for?
What are we doing, senior? Working and stay at home.
- What are we doing? - We're in London. We never stop.
You don't understand. We keep ordering these things as if they're not real. First class in the United States, what, 30 grand, 10 grand each? No.
Charter a jumbo jet.
Do Aikido parties, push-up contests in the sky.
purchase.
more vehicles
I scratched the bottom of the rolls driving up to
Dracula's castle land to build a castle. I'm building a castle, by the way.
and I scratched the bottom of the walls. Why don't I have a super 4x4? Let's buy, I found a picture of it, an armored Range Rover stretch that politicians drive around in. Here we go, made by Classic in Germany. That costs a mere 1.1 million euros. Why don't we have this?
Why? No. Listen, Andrew, when are you going to start enjoying the money? Enjoying the money. All we do is fucking travel around, flying projects, booze, buy cars at random. All we do is spending...
slower than we're making.
Let's at least break even for you. Have a lot of fun. What's gonna happen? Okay, you know, let's go turbo. Let's go turbo. I'm in charge of all decisions. What are we gonna do?
Spend it all? Really? We're gonna look at the balance go down. Oh, it's almost gone. Oh, now it's gone. That's not gonna happen!
It isn't going to happen. We need to do more things. Purchase more items. Handmade.
Fucking private jet, push-ups, fucking gunpowder martinis.
and fucking more... Where's the booze?
Boots please.
I'm almost...
Step one more boost, but we need more action. Champagne for breakfast.
Where's the action? Is my point.
We...
have enough money
It's like we won the lottery every week for two and a half months. This is getting ridiculous now. Lottery winners go crazy.
I saw the story of a lottery winner in England. We spent three years
doing cocaine and hookers.
I don't do cocaine, I don't do hookers.
But he just got money out in the bank every day and had fun for years.
We are never going to run out. We do this.
No.
But there are levels.
No, you're saying we need to massively increase
All right, let me just explain this to everyone
Tristan's saying we need to spend
five times more money than we normally spend.
We'll be maybe 1% better. We're going to die with a bunch of money? We're doing the best of everything. I know. But we have too much money. We have to spend it. Let's die with a bunch of money. So we're going to buy things like sandwiches for 10 grand and shit that we don't want. Most expensive sandwich, London.
There's no way we're gonna end up buying the most expensive sandwiches in the month.
Is it there? There's no way is there.
Perfect, thank you. For me, thanks. Just the boozes for me, I only drink through them.
So as usual, the waiter asked if we wanted more anything else. Yeah. And then you ordered six more. Exactly.
Ever heard of a double-double?
When you pour all the gin
into one cup for your convenient drinking purposes. Splash a tonic.
Yeah, you gotta double it up.
What's this?
What's this?
It's Aikido. What's on my phone?
I see though. So what's this?
Double Aikido. Aikido square. Welcome to the real world. Come on.
Thank you.
That's your phone, that's your phone.
Double double Aikido squared. Go double it.
What is this? Pump up the action. Why am I here? Your move. Turn up the alarm here.
You know, Module 2.
Is this pure tin?
So Andrew and Luke
have been driving.
a Lamborghini all day.
or they're going to be.
I have an appointment.
at the best tailor on Savile Row.
I've ordered about $100,000 worth of clothing.
collecting about 50,000.
of it.
today.
So I'm going by myself.
I'm gonna film myself.
on Sable Road.
purchasing some of the finest suits
in the world.
I could drive a Lambo every day.
I have two landlords.
But I need my suits.
I am the worst dressed man.
to walk in.
to a Savile Rotaylor.
Under Armour T-shirt.
Sweatpants.
By the way, this is my photographer Laura.
You're on Take Confidential, my YouTube series. Congratulations.
She's gonna be taking my Instagram pictures today.
because I can't take pictures for myself because I'm useless.
Look how beautiful this shop is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So good.
I have a worst dressed man ever to come in here.
No.
So I'm here to collect my suits.
And Michael is pouring me booze. What is it? 1.30 p.m. 2 p.m. Yeah.
So it's a bit late to start drinking, actually. Michael, aren't you French? It's supposed to be a glass of wine for breakfast. Yeah, it usually is. Yeah, I'll happily join you. I'll happily join you.
- Nice knowing you, Luke. - Nice.
- If you crash and die in a fireball, it's 'cause you didn't drink enough. You need more booze.
Decided to buy Luke this car. Salesman is selling Luke this car, because I've decided to buy it for him. So we're gonna see what he says when he comes back.
if you enjoy driving or not. That car is super fun somehow. I don't know what it is. It's not speed. It's not raw speed because we have speed. Luke, you were supposed to crash. No. Why didn't you crash? That wasn't the job. That was the job. The job was to crash. That wasn't the job. For take confidential, you were supposed to crash the STO into a fireball and then we can call you baby face and your face is covered in bandages. No, that thing's super fun somehow. It actually is super fun.
and it's race cargy inside. It's like pulleys and shits all manual. It's fun. This is a fun car. It's a fun ass. It has so many cars in the house. So you're telling me I have to buy one? You might have to buy one. See, this is what I mean, Luke. You're talking about I don't need to buy cars. Now they all need buying. Now when I saw it, I said,
Isn't that good, I'll take you.
*music*
Hold on tight. We're about to get rich. Right here, Hustlers University.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
you
you
you don't stop thinking you do you don't do we need an sf-90 no no you don't because i get to be a spaceman i know it's a space thing it's odd man spaceship
Or do I need a DBS where I can be James Bond?
The DBS maybe, but you definitely don't need to be a Ferrari spaceman. I need both. You don't need both. You keep buying cars. It's inside of my brain. It's inside of my brain. I can't get out of my brain. No one realizes. It's literally in your brain. It's literally in his brain. In my brain. It's constantly there. Why do you keep buying cars? I don't gamble. I don't have to hire hookers somewhat like these fucking losers. All the girls want to fuck me for free. I don't take drugs. I'm making millions of dollars a month. What the fuck else am I going to do?
Luke, I'm tired of this. And now it's in my mind. There's a splitter in my mind. God has blessed me. I'm highly favored by the Lord High Jha. He gives me near unlimited funds. Near unlimited. My pimpings never slip in. I'm out here making too much fucking money. And all I can think to do is to buy fucking automobiles. And you're telling me I don't need them. And now it's in my fucking brain. You don't need them. You ticked every box. You have all the cars.
The James Bond's a maybe.
- I'm not controlling. Something has to change. - You even have it, Aston. You have a James Bond. You have a Hull on the way. - If you jump off that bridge, I won't buy it. - No, I'm not gonna do that. - Why is there an attack helicopter over us? - Ah, nice. - What the fuck is that? - Nice. - It's the end. - Yeah? - Yeah. I even filmed it a bit. - What the fuck is it? - It should be there. - It's a Chinook.
- Is Russia attacking? - Maybe I should buy a Chinook.
shit no we don't need you listen luke something has to change you understand you're gonna say the change is buying the cars no it's true that they're essentially free it's true and it's a hard essentially free i buy the everyone's dream car an sf 90 for half million dollars
And everyone will be like, wow. But to me, I'll look at my bank and I won't even notice. - That's the thing. - They're free! - No, people don't realize the curse that you actually have. You actually, actually, actually have the curse where it's
They're free though. They're basically free. So it's like, why not have them all? They're basically free. The only thing that's putting me off is actually bothering with the registration and the insurance and shit. I can't be dicked. But that's the only, like, literally they're free. They're like on the street, pick it up. Do you want it?
My human mind is under attack. The village people, the village people are trying to attack me. I'm the chief of the village and all the villagers, the village people are trying to attack me. But my enemies will not succeed. Do you understand? That's what it feels like in my brain.
So that's the splinter. The village people are trying to get you to buy all the cars. Or no, they're trying to...
They're trying to keep it in your head that you maybe should buy all the cars. The village people are working with my enemies and they have an agenda to try and prevent my success. Will they succeed? But I'm highly favored and blessed so they will not succeed. And for that reason, I need to buy cars.
That's not the conclusion. The conclusion is that you need to buy cars. That can't be the conclusion.
We're in a Bentley.
*gunshot*
Luke, luckily the kind guys at Armani have bought some booze at 1pm.
Cheers. No, can't do it. We can't do it. Can't do it. So last night what was I doing?
Boozy.
I was out all night boozing with my tailor from Savile Row. And what are you doing? What were you doing last night? I was working.
So not boozing? No, not boozing. So you didn't booze last night?
And you're refusing booze this morning, why?
Because there's no need for booze. We're in Armani. There's no need for booze in Armani. But it's free champagne. Yes, I know. There's no need for any of it.
But Luke, you don't... it's free champagne.
Balook, it's cold. It's cold.
It's cold champagne. I know.
buy our money for free. - Correct.
What gives?
Why don't you grow up?
...
Sort your life out, Luke. Sort your life out.
I'm trying to find some trousers that would go with it, but I don't have nothing in your side. I have this.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Alright, this is gonna work.
This is a bit...
Nah, leave it. Alright, just a jacket. Okay.
So you're spending... I'm not even sure on the trouser if you get a trouser.
So... - Blue booze? - No, thank you.
Uh...
You sure? I wonder if I'm sure.
I'm really percent sure.
It's good for you.
This one.
It's grape juice.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
That's true.
Thank you.
*laughter*
I can't see anything else. It's trousers I'm more interested in but I think you're showing me the trousers you've got. The trousers I'm gonna order because
Andrew, how much did you spend?
We have a matching one. 15? 20?
too much yeah it's too much yeah maybe if you wear this separately with something else
But then you wouldn't have to find that something.
just so I mean
I love the glass. Luke, would you like the glass? No, thanks. Why? You're sure? I'm 100% sure. But it's free booze. I'm 100% sure. Andrew, have a glass. Have half a glass, Andrew.
Half for my brother, half. That's okay for my brother. And Luke, you don't want any? No. Why? Zero. Just a little bit. There we go. There we go. Come on. My Portuguese. A nice big pile of clothes there. Guess how much you think I spent.
- Guess. - How much did he spend? I don't know. - You're the expert. Let's do a guess. - I'm gonna guess 21,000. - It's gonna be difficult for me.
But...
Yeah, around 20... 25. 25? I guess 21. You guess 25. What do you guess? I guess...
I think that's about right. 21 to 25, it's got to be something like that. 21 to 25. You're the expert. I mean, you're the expert. You're going to be closer. I'm confused at this moment. I don't know. Too many clothes. Around 25,000.
Nice. Lost more than that run for the bus. He did lose more than that run for the bus.
Cheers.
To Luke.
not booze them
you
Coward.
Andrew.
Pay your bill. I ain't paid it.
*laughs*
23 000 pounds it's a painful beard you know it's um it's hard there's no there's no light without dark there's no joy without pain you can't have a rainbow
Without Lorraine.
It's true.
That's it.
That's the way the world works.
So, wise men. That's right. I enjoy wearing them more knowing that they cost so much to buy.
That's how life works.
So here we are at the Barber's. And it will go to the Barber's. And here we are.
Listen, all we do is force Luke to booze. I think we should let Luke choose from him. Luke, what should we do? Name something a place on Earth we should have. A place on Earth? Antarctica.
to the South Pole. Oh, the only place with no women and no drinks and no fun and no sunlight. Well, no, no, no. There's no fun. There's loads of fun. It's 24-hour sunlight because I looked up the North Pole. The North Pole is 24-hour going.
I didn't even do an anthrox case right.
Alright, let's go.
I'm down. It's article. After this pint. I'll drink to that.
Going for a long walk. Cheers, Luke. And I might be some time. I'm going for a long drink. I might be some time. Hey, Luke, you're going for a long drink.
I don't want to go for a long time. Hey, pick it up.
Pick it up. God cheers me.
thought out.
Take a confidential. This is Luke. This is Luke. This is my cousin. This is Andrew's cousin. They can come here and drink all of this.
if they will.
So, Luke, I've got another beer because of you and your haircut. I know. Another one. You're welcome. Another one. So many of you come with me to every haircut I ever get for the rest of my life. If there's free beers, absolutely. Can't guarantee that, babe. But there's a chance. I don't like you. You do like me. No, I need beer. I just got you loads of free. I need beer to justify hanging out with you. They didn't. They said they're free. You tried to make me. I tried to. Well, I tried to pay.
I know.
You tried to make me pay for a free beer. You tried to get me. Yes. They wouldn't have lied to you. Because they're my friends. But then I got them. Yes.
Because I know they give me free beers.
Why do they use your creepers? I don't know. They should ban you. I'm dressed like shit. They don't even know I'm in you now. They should ban you. They're not rich. They should ban you. Tristan, you're banned. You can't ban me. I can ask them to ban you. Luke, why do you have no hair? I've transcended hair. What's transcended mean? Transcended. I've gone past. I've gone beyond. I do know what he means. I've noticed something about Andrew. He's been enlightened. I think I figured out why. Okay. It's true.
you look no offense to both of you and you can criticize all of my negative points because i have many but i think i might be the happiest man in this car no you have hair you don't realize you're on the wrong spiritual plane no but you know you're on the wrong but luke luke it's all wrong because andrew looks like a albanian gangster with no hair you are not capable of growing a beard so you look a bit like a chemotherapy kid correct no no not correct
No, I agree with Luke. You don't understand. He's transcended. Well, you two baldies are gonna grow gang up on me obviously So you're gonna make me transcend it because we have
You're still in the earthly plane Earthly plane I like
Why stay there you can just enlighten. Yeah, just float from now on I don't talk to bold people just float up
Excuse me, driver, I don't talk to these two anymore. You're the only guy I'm talking to because I don't talk to bald people.
anymore. They're both losers and I can't talk to them anymore.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Why do you guys do this? Do what?
What do you mean do what? Luke, Luke. You guys need to buy cars and loads of shit and stuff.
It's a nonstop shopping. How much do you spend? I made $6.5 million on a coin called Shiba, which is based after a dog.
Money is not real. The financial system is broken in every single possible way.
If I can make $6.5 million,
because of a dog going.
then I should spend it on shit.
Because that's shit money from a shit place and it needs to be spent on shit. Do you agree?
- All right, I do agree that money's not real, but this can't be the answer. - It is the answer, though.
Is this inflation? Is it just you keep buying all of it? So you guys are outbidding each other. Just people like you. Exactly.
You can't do this. Welcome to the real world, Luke.
*thud*
I'm going to go to the next one.
Thank you.
Another day in England.
Good shot there from Tim!