Transcript
Cobra killed the python. I walked in there and I was like, I like that jacket. What is it? She's like, python. She goes, it's the only one we've ever made. I said, how much is it? Before she told me the price, she said, I'll take it.
*music*
Oh, would you look at the time, Luke?
Okay, it is super nice. I'll admit it's super nice. Luke, if you were blind and you had to know the time,
What would you do?
what's the time correct and i would say diamond time Luke yes if you were blind okay and you had to tell someone you were hungry what would you do
- That's what I do. - Do you know what I do if I was blind and I felt so hungry?
I say, "Hey, I'm hungry."
- Okay, you got me. I got super gone. I admit it.
- Luke, if you were blind and you had to know the time,
What would you do?
What's the time? Correct. And I would say... diamond time. You need me and you need me to have this watch, Luke.
The day you go blind, you'll be very thankful I have this diamond watch. Can you admit that?
Otherwise, you'll never know what time it is ever again. No, but even if you just had your phone, I'd just ask you. Phone.
Shmoan.
You don't need more watches.
I think... I knew I didn't have enough diamonds. Now I have this. I feel like I have enough diamonds for a while. You do. You do. I agree. I feel like I have enough diamonds. Probably for life. Life. Or close. Yeah. I was thinking more 24 to 48 hours.
No.
48 hours but after two days it's gonna be a bit like okay you know no no i don't know no no no one needs no that's enough diamonds for a lifetime i'm glad you agree
*music*
Where are we? Did you ask the time? No, I asked where are we. Oh, Pagani. What do you mean Pagani? Well, we don't have to Pagani yet, but so I thought, don't really need a Pagani house. Sorry. Wait, a Pagani? Yeah. What do you mean? This is what I mean. So I thought, we don't have to Pagani yet, don't really need a Pagani car, and maybe I should get a Pagani house. What?
I've gone to the apartment.
Thank you.
- So I'm with the big G. - Look at the Bugatti penthouse. - So I'm with the ball. - Most exclusive project in Dubai. - Most exclusive project in Dubai. - Only one bar price bagging in the world.
What the fuck else would we be?
So it's not finished because you get to decide exactly what we want.
We've got our main man here, security, keeping us safe.
The big G.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So basically what I'm thinking is,
What do you mean? What are you doing?
Thank you.
What is this? It's like the most prestigious building. It's going to be the most prestigious penthouse, one of one in Dubai. Because we have the Bugatti, so I decided I didn't need a Pagani, but I need something Pagani.
Sometimes we've got Pagani penthouse in Dubai, which costs much more than a Pagani car.
Like I know right now you're looking at it going, what is this? But when it's dark with Pagani furniture, imagine couch.
- Hose. - Okay, couch.
Post.
Okay. You don't pull indoor water hose.
A chair.
Okay. Hold on the floor. Next, just on the floor.
How floral.
Forho. Forho's? Forho!
We got hooks from the ceiling, and hoes can attach themselves by harnesses and just like handmaid. Sky hose? Sky hose! Okay. Okay. We got a rigotti, a real one, put it here.
BAM! Okay, so car two. Car, bam, got it.
Let me go to the globe. What do you mean the globe?
- See what I'm saying? - What is this? - I'm gonna say, look, make my globe cool.
So I have all white food shit.
The globe! - Hose, holes. - Globe hose. - Globe hose.
We can make it like a world and we can start like from South America.
to all the way around to Russia, to the Chinese cities.
Okay. Yeah, the Globehouse.
Like I don't even know how much this is, like 15, 16 million dollars, sub change.
- Thank you.
It is Trump change, isn't it? Trump change is. Shit. Well, now I love it. Who cares? Shit. It is, isn't it? It's Trump change. That's it? I don't know, but I do know I can buy it.
We get to sit with Mr. Pagani himself and design it. You know what's crazy? I'll buy this and any other YouTube channel would make a very in-depth proper camera documentary on
buying it and how they spec it out and all the leather that it's going to be me and you on an iPhone.
talking shit in this penthouse, putting in no effort, no editorial fucking energy. Zero. Correct. And we wonder why our YouTube channel doesn't work. No, ours will have Globos.
Everyone else would be like, "Oh, a five-hour story, but I've decided to buy the..."
They also wouldn't have even thought about Globos. They would not have thought about Globos.
We didn't even cross their mind. Couch.
Couch hoes? Okay.
We can split it up to as many bedrooms as we want. I think the globe would be the end, and we'd have like one, two bedrooms here, another bedroom down this alleyway, more bedrooms.
- The hose. - Okay. - The door is hose. - Room hose. - Room hose. And we're gonna have to make sure our key goes strong, 'cause the hose will be coming out. - Yeah, I know.
Man in the sky hose coming from the top.
Sit.
In my previous life, I did have to once defend myself against 1,000 members of the ninja shogunai, unarmed.
So I'm kind of used to this. Like I was walking through the fields of ancient Tibet, and the ninja shogun attacked me. I had Aikido, all their fucking samurai swords.
Ah, then this would be easy. What? It'd be easy. The hell's... Yeah. Woo! Woo! She's in!
- Thank you.
Back to the sky.
All right, do we buy or no?
man i mean all the hoes glow hose sky hose couch i can envision it now
It would, wouldn't it? It literally would.
Yeah. We do such amazing things. I know. We put no effort. No, I can just film.
No.
iPhone only. iPhone only.
Okay, so it's Sapagani, but where are we now? Where were we in London, Luke?
The Dorchester? The Dorchester. The Dorchester have apartments.
Dorchester collections here in Dubai. You liked the hotel didn't you? It was a good hotel. There you go. See look with our beach.
We can moor our yacht down there. Private beach, private water, private pool.
No one's going to fuck with us. No peasants. No peons. No poor people. No poor people, huh? Yeah, people who are like, oh, good job.
People who are not in Hustlers University because they love to work hard like idiots. People who don't want easy free money from the fucking sky. Those people stay away from us. We sit here with the chill. We chill with the smart.
I think we have an appointment coming up anytime soon. You're not checking your watch for that. I am. You're not. Why am I checking my watch?
You're checking it to have it shine in the sun.
in bling check the time my friend this is very nice this is very very nice valet pull up lambo boom boom take our cars give them to the staff march upstairs to the whoopies ah there'll be whoop ah of course there'll be whoopies you saw the wrangle we pulled off in romania i know imagine we just divide the level of wrangle the level of every girlfriend to the penthouse party
in the cave. That was in a shitty little house next to our main house on three hours note.
We didn't even try. Literally name the cave. Literally, we call it the cave. The depression cave.
This private beach I like. This is very, very nice. And then you've got like a proper pool. But if you want to pretend you're like in the ocean, you can go. But it's like...
calm, perfect, no people.
Because you know we have like an Instagram picture on the beach and there's like humans. Yeah. Other humans. What the fuck are you doing here? Yeah, they're poor. Yeah.
I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to get it. As I hang around, I'm starting to get it. That's right.
i was poor but i escaped so now when i see the people who didn't escape i'm like why didn't you escape yeah i escaped so it's like well duh the gate the gate was wide open to the zoo why did you stay there so i'm walking outside the cage look at them in the cage going the door's still open g it's still there it's still easy to get rich you just walk walk oh walking's hard i'm tired maybe it's a
scam.
Maybe the door open is a scam. Join Huston University to teach you how to make money online. Maybe it's a scam. Listen, if you're going to tell the open door is a scam, then you can stay in your case. I don't want you here on my private beach at my Dorchester penthouse. Not allowed.
Not allowed.
- Thank you.
So, this is the indoor pool. The indoor pool is inside this...
Okay. Just like the door jester. Wake up in the morning. Check the bank.
Thank you.
Bank 2 full. - 2 full? - High capacity. - Come on. - Get almost 2.
Emergency meeting, you need to spend the money.
Boom.
Okay?
- Thanks.
Then pull. You can be like that.
Nice, I can.
Bye.
It is very nice in here.
it's pretty cool it's nice and warm take confidential can't feel it it's nice and warm and spa-y
It's very relaxing.
- Wow.
after the club, we'll call it all the way.
*shrug*
- Yes.
Is it cold or something? No it's not. Not my pool.
I appreciate it. Alright, so far you enjoyed it I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We found a five star movie.
So you can get a massage or just chill.
- Good.
Yes.
Yes.
On the check, there is a man sitting around over here.
- I don't know if it's a change, it's fine.
You need to see it because there is a jacuzzi over there. Ah, okay. I forgot. It's very... I forgot. It's got a normal cheese.
Of course, what did they?
which is special.
Please, enter.
- Okay.
- For all men?
-
Only the...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay. Okay. They're convincing me. It's also such a draw to convince me. You wouldn't know.
- I think you put you. - Ow, ow, ow.
Where's Luke? - You gotta set the temperature there.
Yes, so there's a sauna there, there you can change, you can relax if you still need to, you know, how it works.
The same room we have for women and women are separate.
Cool.
Man, it's just like the Dorchester one. I swear it even smells the same. I think they use the same incense.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is quite nice.
We're down the hole.
- It's fine.
Mm -hmm.
Mm-hmm.
sniper rifle.
telescope
Yep, okay.
The essentials.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is extremely nice.
by Nathism and the...
It is quite nice. This is quite nice. Take confidential viewers. This is quite nice.
But take a bunch of America, you have to divide them.
We don't live anywhere. Yeah, we don't live anywhere. We're just fucking...
They could vote.
Am I listening to her voice?
Yeah.
if they weren't the police.
I'm talking on Saturday, too.
It's true.
What are we doing? What dance is that? Tristan's dance. Where's Tristan? I don't know where Tristan is. You know what this is? This is Python. I'm a G. That is G. It's Python. Cobra killed the Python. I walked in there and I was like, I like that jacket. What is it? She's like, Python. She goes, it's the only one we've ever made. How much is it? Before she told me the price is set, I'll be.
Thinks I'm going to fucking cry over $19,000.
So it's a $19 ,000 jacket. Only. What do you mean only?
What was that fucking stone you told me? Ruby? No, not Ruby, not Sapphire, the other one. Emerald.
What do you mean you need emeralds?
Have you ever done an upgrade? I've not done an upgrade. Mid -date.
Mid-date. Well, you know, the thing is I have. I've done the switcheroo. And it sometimes was an upgrade. The genuine switcheroo. Have you ever done the downgrade? Cool boy. That's not a move. You think you're pulling a mid-date switcheroo, but you think you're upgrading. Well, maybe I'm doing a downgrade. You might be. I might be doing that. Let's hope I'm not doing a downgrade. So that would get you.
That would get me. You'd super deserve that. I got it.
So we'll see how we go. What are we doing? The upgrade has been pulled. He's trying the upgrade. We're doing the mid-date switcheroo. The mid-date switcheroo. He's super fucked. Here's your jacket and your phone. Thanks, homeboy. So he's the drunken cowboy. Yeehaw. The drunken cowboy. Drunken cowboy. Ain't nothing but vodka in this one.
There's so much about you that I'm gonna miss. That cute ball of oil. But it's alright, baby. If I hurry, I can still make sure. Can't flip off the camera. I hate that he can sing. Of course he can sing. Tall, handsome, millionaire, and he can sing.
So what are we doing now? I'm taking a little yacht, a mini one. So we should probably call it a boat, to be honest. It's a lovely place called 101 Lounge. So we're a boat team.
Can you swim? Yes. Go on then. Actually, if you could swim, show us. I can't jump because there's not enough room on the boat. But if you're such a capable swimmer, Californian, then fuck man, the water's warm. It's Dubai. Can you swim? There's no sharks here, I promise. I can't swim. I can't swim. Yeah, I love it. I can't swim. This is pretty bad. As good as a skyline, that's the future of the skyline today. It's a beautiful city. Man, like that's the future.
That is the future. What? New York's going to beat that. Yeah, not New York. Fuck that.
- People shitting themselves on the table.
I'll stick with the bike, thanks.
- Thank you.
I kept the basics of law. Like, come on.
And it's sustainable, too. There's no weird leftism. Four, three, two, one.
Thank you.
*Mario's music*