Transcript
*BANG*
They confident just that.
You heard me, hoes. Western s**t, it's your fault. Because the Taliban were only fighting against the American war machine to try and preserve their way of life because they understood that if you liberate females, you end up with the Western female. The Western females brutally s**t in near every way. You know what? I have a lot of Muslim friends in London and they look around sometimes in the nightclubs and they tap me on the shoulder and say, there's girls in England, but there's no wives. And they're completely correct.
have any money you did not have physical prowess you don't have a Lamborghini you have none of the things it would take to attract a female the only reason you're gonna get females because she understands she's indebted to a husband and she must remain loyal if she was liberated she would just cheat cheat cheat because you ain't got shit would you allow these women to be free to be liberated look what they do in the west look how they use their freedom they suck non-stop hi nice to meet you
you
This joke is stupid.
to start bringing your wallet out with you.
To some people, that's a $400 lunch, but to me,
It's just lunch.
Yeah, I know, but why do I have to keep paying for it? I don't care, but you keep leaving your wallet at home on purpose. He's going to pay for it, my friend. Sorry, but for going to then have electricity and then make the bill...
And the telephone.
Okay, no problem. Yeah, fine. Let's receive.
I did that. I'm the emir of the Islamic caliphate of Teistan and that's a Christian living under
My rule: you have to pay a tax.
and that tax is to pay for all of our lunches and bills.
forever so you don't bring your wallet so I have to pay things because I'm having a Christian tax. Do you renounce Christianity and join
Islamic faith no I don't but that's why I had to pay for lunch yeah calling the caliphate I own half of
It's half my house.
It's not a house.
Caliphate.
it's a caliphate. The second you walk into those gates, the caliphate of taste. I will bring my wallet. It will be at a stand stalemate.
Allah will prevent that.
Yeah. Every single time you leave the house, you put the wallet in your pocket.
a la insurers.
Christian God's will
I'm not paying a tax to you.
Yeah, man.
or I'm going to start stealing your money.
and hanging for our lunches.
Can't we cut off hands for theft?
- Wow.
I'll bandage mine up. Remind me of someone else in the family.
Look at your heads. Oh shit. Okay.
Alright. This isn't gonna end well.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Listen, you need to get them casts off right now.
I propose a toast. Interesting, I don't want to drink.
What do you mean you don't want to drink? Toast to one drink. Fuck, ass is crazy. You gave that up in England. What do you mean, toast to what? Well, I say yes to your toast from our what's for.
What do you mean?
is to the victory of
Religious conviction. It's not to me coming back. As a Christian, what I've heard of, actually I recently heard, imagine this.
A band of men got together and they fought a vastly superior and more powerful enemy.
and their motivation was purely uniting their country under the will and protection of God.
and they managed to defeat this massive, evil, huge enemy
Because God was on their side. Good for them. Good for them.
And I'm back. To the Taliban. And I'm back. To the Taliban. To celebrate this,
I've already looked at flights to Kabul, but I heard the airport's a bit of a mess. In what can only be described as a chaotic exodus.
People are literally clinging on
to US military aircrafts as they try to take off. - So, we should, out of respect, go to the most Islamic country we can think of.
I know.
You know which one that is.
Which one?
I'll book the jet. Got a toothbrush? You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London!
Heavy! Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck! Where are we? Where are we going? Luke.
We're going to the most Islamic country in the world to celebrate the Taliban's victory. Yeah. Where's that?
the Islamic Republic of Great Britain today. Better get the drinking in before we get there.
You can't drink beer.
Luckily Tristan carries his head. He's hitting glass. Hitting. I'll booze all the time. Do you want some booze? No. Why? 0 % 1A booze. Because I'm dead. I booze too much. Booze too much? What do you mean?
He's a baby.
Didn't know this, I think it's too much my friend. There is. Probably too little.
You know what's funny?
What's funny is, I know exactly what I'm talking about all of the time.
I'm that guy. If I talk about something, I know exactly what I'm talking about all of the time. I'm never like, maybe I don't know, maybe I didn't know. I know exactly what I'm talking about all of the time. I'm that guy. I'm that guy to the point where now, I get paid a million dollars a month. And when I tell people, listen, I'll teach you how to make money online.
There are still idiots out there who go, hmm.
I don't know if I can trust you. I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
The dollar is fucked.
The dollar is completely fucked. We are living through a period of history which they will discuss in the history books.
of when America no longer was the global power, and the global reserve currency was changed from dollar to whatever it's gonna become. 'Cause I tell you what,
The dollar is fucked.
If you have half a brain, you should understand what's happening right now. I always say politics doesn't matter, but Joe Biden and his cronies, the people behind him,
He's doing it.
have destroyed! They're about to pass this $3.5 trillion bill. All they've been doing is printing trillions since the beginning of this corona garbage.
The dollar is fucked. Do you know how they calculate inflation? They calculate inflation based on a basket
goods. They go and say, oh, bread, eggs, the normal things the normal person needs, da, da, da, and they calculate inflation at like 5.4% of the same shit.
But that basket of goods, they just change. When they want to adjust what the inflation number is,
They can just change what's in the basket.
to fuck with people.
Do you know how I
Calculate inflation.
This was the price of something last year
And this is the price now. I encourage you to go and Google up the price of timber now.
compared to what it was. Wood is wood. You can't really fuck with wood. You can't change the type of eggs. You can't mess around. Wood is wood.
The dollar is fucking crazy.
You know what happens when the dollar gets wrecked?
the rich get richer because the rich own the assets.
and the price of these assets goes to the moon, people with no assets
they get destroyed because your dollar is worth less and the price of the assets are going up. You're never going to have the ability to buy assets. You're going to get wrecked.
Listen.
In periods of monumental change,
Crisis, opportunity, the same thing. There is a monumental shift coming, you should already feel it.
Just buying Bitcoin isn't enough.
Just buying gold is not enough.
This is a massive opportunity for you to create generational wealth.
Do you understand people like me went from
No money.
to one million in two years.
to five or six million a year later.
to 30 plus million dollars during a fucking pandemic. I'm an ultra high net worth individual. Me and Tristan, what are we buying right now, Tristan?
everything
a plane we're buying a plane trusty didn't want to ruin the surprise
Soon on my timeline, you're gonna see a plane. Listen,
This fucking hyperinflation, which is bestowed upon the American dollar is going to change to fiscal
system of earth.
And if you don't have a plan to benefit from that, if you're just gonna sit there like a shit muncher and let the tidal wave come and ride you over, and not even prepare a surfboard, you deserve the slavery which is coming to you. Because by the end of this, there are gonna be people which are filthy rich.
and slaves.
*music*
Okay.
- Why are you wearing swim shorts? - Because I'm nice and comfortable. It's hot. - Don't go up to me. - Nobody likes us.
Nobody likes him. Nobody likes us and we don't like him. Collectively.
I died yesterday.
- No, no.
We will take a picture now. We will take a picture now. Yes. All these people. The laugh is very good.
Die. Die. Au revoir. Booze. Too much booze. Booze over us. Oh, enough booze. I can kill you. There's no pushing through. No. Through the wall. There's no pushing through.
I have a long hard look in the mirror. I don't want that man to drink. I couldn't even move.
Last time we got a private jet to England. Didn't we do that car rally? Remember we bought the cars and the German police took the cars and just drove around like idiots all around Europe and ran from the police and ended up with all those poor cases we didn't go to and all those fines. Remember that crap?
I don't know, I don't know, but it's awesome. Any interview room? I don't know. How many guys in the room? I don't know.
Hello, no, we're just...
No one?
I know you
Oh yeah? Also fun, yeah? They're going? I have no clue. I don't know. I don't know. What's with this? Yeah, I don't know.
Also fun. That definitely means go straight ahead. No problems. Come chase me. Nobody likes us. Nobody likes us. We don't care. We don't care.
I just want to jet again, maybe we should do that, but we should buy some supercars. And we should go fucking mental.
I'm in. Luke's in. I'm pro. Luke's not allowed to go. Take him away. How about this? How about this? We buy supercars, we drive all day and we booze all night. You in Luke? Uh, I'm in.
*Rain*
you
you
Okay.
Thank you.
you
- Thank you.
the same...
Lutonair for I used to work in When I was making sandwiches And he was
- Okay.
Yeah?
- Oh.
- Salahamu.
to be shit.
Guys, we'll buy it.
We have to barb them.
I'm going to buy one. I'm going to put on Takeoff Financial.
I would make Luke drink every time he's on it. All the time.
Yeah.
That would teach him a lesson. Boo's playing.
the booze plane.
Booze jet.
Airbus.
The G700.
so this is the best coffee in the world that's talking about
sorry let's go for the world we're here to have the best coffee in the world if there was a place where the best coffee in the world was served it would be this place yeah it's the best coffee in the world i had it yesterday you're on youtube bro yeah you're on youtube i told we're gonna have the best coffee in the world abroad here fun man cheers
a little bit of vodka in yours luke no thank you i'm gonna mix a little bit of vodka in
No thanks. Nope, no, zero booze. No, no, just nice good coffee. We're having the special Jamaica Blue Mountain. The Jamaican Blue Mountain.
That's what happened.
The best coffee in the world. Correct.
This coffee costs how much? It's the world's best coffee. World's best coffee why? Because that's what they call it. Tristan, look at it. It's a foodie coffee. I'm gonna try it and tell me it's not good coffee.
Fucking excellent. Shit. So I'm about to have the world's best coffee.
I don't know what that's popular.
- Is it ball pen yours? - No, no thank you. - Make it Irish, Irish off a bit? - Mm. - There's so many Irish copies.
for the world's most expensive Irish coffee.
- Yeah.
-
The world's best coffee. Is it really the best? I'm super excited.
- Let's go.
It's wonderful. It just might be the world's best coffee.
For 10, you lift the caffeine energy you need.
Stop moving. Ever heard of poo called?
No. So monkeys eat the beans. But these beans are not monkeys. This one is a sipic which is a tapakula.
and they eat the beans.
and they shit the beans out,
And then someone goes through their shit and then you make this very expensive pot.
- That's it.
Bye.
Wonderful.
So it's poop.
Yeah, it's pretty bulky but it makes the coffee better, supposedly.
How?
- Fermenting it or something, I don't know. - Listen, if someone has to go through the shit to get the beans out, it's gonna be expensive, right? No one's going through shit for free.
So that's why it costs me much.
Is it even better?
1
find out
That's good.
It's good.
Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
by them.
Cool coffee.
-
He's like, "Shit."
- -
That RS7, I like that car.
- You're calling driver? - Yeah.
That's why I'm...
- Car, car, car.
Car smart. Audi's out. Although they are super expensive. You have every other car. What else are you going to fucking buy? You have every other. Not the whole force.
Smart. No. What?
Whole force. No. You can't just buy rolls.
- Thank you.
No, I don't really remember the last call yet. I think they have to say that.
Guys, what are we doing? We might already be sold.
We're waiting for a salesman.
I know.
Because you need to sell them to buy things.
No, but you guys weren't serious, were you?
Why wouldn't you be?
because it's a car.
That's not how you just bought it.
Yes, yes.
It's the best automobile from the planet. What's the problem?
It's the prestige automobile brand.
thing on earth.
Really?
We have every car, we don't have a Rolls. Tristan was right.
Logic. Yeah, but it's a full, like... It's nice. It's blue, yeah. I know, but we... It's a black badge. Yeah, it's the most expensive one.
That's what I mean. What's the problem with that?
Don't you think about it? Like sit down, emergency meeting. What about emergency meeting? All right, emergency meeting. Do we need to roll voice?
Emergency meeting over him.
- Don't. - Wait, no. No, you don't need a Rolls Royce.
Sorry, you said that after I ended the emergency meeting?
We came to a consensus, a two-on-one consensus during the duration of the year. So we're actually waiting for the salesman, and we're just going to buy it. The salesman?
It sells you.
Exactly.
And if they don't have that one, they will buy one of the other ones.
Yeah, I like that color.
I don't even care.
I want you to understand something. I want you to understand something. I don't care. I don't actually care.
I don't give a fuck if I buy it.
and then it sets on fire at the end.
- Bye.
No, no, no, Luke, here's what you don't know, though.
These cars, yeah? This one's going to be, what, $400?
something thousand pounds, they have "hear me out"
Built-in umbrellas.
on the door
That's worth it.
It's not worth 400,000... Now we're talking. Sorry. Thank you. Do any of your cars have built-in umbrellas on the doors? No.
So what do you do with the-- - In fact, I've never seen it.
Come look at this.
What do you mean, umbrella?
*music*
Even the door opens weird.
Bye.
I'll sharpen mine.
to be a tip.
So when I get out, the rolls, I press the button, and I have a sword.
Alright, that is pretty deep. So do you understand I need it now?
Look, I'm in London. I just had coffee. That's not worth 400k.
- Luke, I'm in London, I just had coffee. - I know you. - Tristan pointed at the rolls. - Yeah, you guys can't just walk around
look at things through windows and just buy it. - No, no, but we can't.
- We can. - All right, you can, but is,
Is that not weird?
Yeah, it's weird, I guess, because a bunch of normal people out there with their money, "Oh, no, go save, go think on investment."
Almost.
Have you closed your doors?
I pull it closed. I know these are weird doors though.
tonight
Do you have a button? You don't have a button close your door do you? Just got that second.
All right. Welcome to the real world, Luke.
- Thank you.
I'll name Charlie and text for my movie.
- Thank you.
and you can't have to go.
Thank you.
Well, I sell for
Thank you.
Thank you.
Why are you going to take
-
- I don't know. - My first world works. - Is he done this one right?
you
Any questions, Luke? Any more questions about, "Oh, maybe you just sit and think, oh, maybe you just think about it, maybe you just think about being cool as fuckin' rich?"
No, I don't think about it. That's all I think about. Think about it.
Miami! This was the fastest decision we've ever made for buying a car.
seeing it and buying it.
No, it was literally three seconds. It's a bell curve, isn't it?
That's a good idea.
Am I middle brain? I'm middle brain, aren't I? You're middle brain. I think. Yeah. You're middle brain, bro. We're fucking, the most stupid people in the world and the smartest people in the world.
act. People in the middle are all like, I'm smart. I read books. You're a fucking loser. Keep reading your books. I'm dropping my roll. Fuck you.
Oh, no.
- What's the whole boy when he tasted the boss? - What's the head if you couldn't do it?
We have a lot of fun on the cars. We're not those guys who are behind the left, the right screen. We drive on the cars. I'm a crazy, crazy car. One day he came, just took me, Stephen, and he dropped off the Tarran SL. Yep. 7221, that was a little bit different. Anyway, it was left-hand drive. And he said, "Can you do me a favour, look after two weeks, I need to rush back."
- See you.
I have local recognition. I believe I have the world's least valuable Aston Martin Fenglish's ultimate edition.
There's 175. I smoke cigars in it. I drive a car. I don't know. Who ever designed that car? What can someone let me do that? It may well be the least valuable example of the new woman. This is the joke.
I'm sorry to use my teeth, but I can't be seen to all of them. Take more of this passion. Not a problem, not a problem, my friend. Cheers. Thank you very much. And I hope one day we have another drink at Bookerrest. We're waiting for you. We're waiting for you. I'd love to go back. Yeah, come back anytime now. You have a bookerrest. I'd love to see you once.
Guys, this is getting completely insane. You guys are just walking down buying everything.
Yeah, I need things. So we bought the Rolls Royce, and then we bought, how much did I spend on Armani? Eight.
No more. No, eight, nine. Nine. Eight, nine, ten.
now we're here yeah and then wait we've got to pay for the roof the the roof
on the new house that's being constructed. It's glass and it's going to open up like a convertible. Is that 600?
That's Dye's paint today, yeah. So it's a million pound Dye.
No, it's actually insane.
Take off and I tried.
People think this is like made up or whatever. Free water though. Free water. We can subsidize the cost by drinking water. Yeah, we have been free water and coffee. It's a one million pound day. There's no other YouTube series where people are spending a million pounds in a day. And here we are. There is none. Here we are with no subs.
Nobody follows us. Nobody follows us. We're unknown in underground. Unknown millionaires. You guys have to replace my...
Sounds so bad with that.
I need to stop pointing at things.
No, you guys can't just keep buying things. You guys just keep telling the people this, that,
Why do you need red Prada socks? Luke!
Nobody likes me.
Will you wear them? I don't even know. You bought so much stuff. Neither do I, Luke. Neither do I.
What's this? I'm tired of spending money. Can't keep spending money. So we're gonna throw axes.
What? Fuck off. Axes? At least three times and we try and give you a different opponent each of those three times. When you come in for a game you'll get to throw your axe five times. And getting those five throws, when it has the most points, gets wins that game. You're a fucking bitch.
- Alright, let's see if we can walk the walk.
- Nice.
*thud*
So we'll see that right side of our left leg.
-
I'm calling. I'm aiming for the small space.
-
.
*Squeak*
not quite in the bullseye but it's the equalizer for the wall! I'm not gonna aim for that
You're still a loser.
Relax.
Last throw to the knock, but it's 5-4. It's on this side. Coming to that leg.
Ah, lucky. You're doing the way now. It cruises all the way down.
Who's the loser now? Who knows?
You're still a loser.
- How about lean axes? I've got hands. How about those dudes? That's a good point. - That's a good point. - What was for throwing axes? Because I wouldn't really walk. What I do is I just... I Kido the axe out of the way. I close the distance. Elbow.
Punch him right in his afro face. No matter how much it's safe, man.
Well this Aikido, no fucking chance, no hope.
Shit.
There is no hope is if you plan square on axe to the chest well max my chest cool close to this
One shot there from T-