Transcript
I thought you're not allowed to smoke on a plane. No. You're not allowed to NOT smoke on this plane.
*Dramatic music*
*Massive music*
Unless Spectre was stopped, the word would get round. So Tristan asked me if I want anything. I said a coconut water. We'll see what he comes back with. What'd you say? Coconut water? Yeah, I said coconut water. Yeah, go get your back, go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to say yeah, right or something. He's not going to give me coconut water. He's going to give me some bullshit. But he's probably going to give me booze, which he knows I can't drink.
Probably what he's going to give me.
He's a cotton, isn't he? Nobody likes him. So here you go.
Non-alcoholic beer.
I don't want no alcohol. It's not alcoholic lemon flavored beer.
That's what you asked for, isn't it? No, I asked for... I just think that I just think you remember you saying, "Tristan, hi, can I have a non-alcoholic lemon flavored beer, please?"
I didn't No that's exactly what you asked for me Asked for me It's not at all Word for word
I don't want this. Hi Tristan can I have a non-alcoholic lemon flavored beer? That's what you asked me for.
Is yours alcoholic? No, mine's not alcoholic. So you also got yourself a note. So you got yourself as well. Well, this is what you wanted. So I followed your recommendation and it sounds and looks delicious.
Is it?
I feel like it's shit. It tastes like coconut water.
Yeah, I doubt it.
I doubt the lemonati. Luke, it tastes exactly like coconut oil. You're right. Yeah.
Mixed EWO. This is bullshit. I want coconut water. At least you got real water.
I'm going to go to the house.
*BEEP*
*music*
We're off!
*BEEP*
They made a spaceship. They made a McLaren spaceship. Yeah, look at it. It looks like a space ship. It looks like an aliens car. We're still trying to use like combustion and shit. They're just spaceships. Time warp.
So Tristan asked me to record him. So he's going to do something evil. Yeah.
coconut water coconut water but you got yourself three yeah i actually there was only so there was only four on the shelf so i bought all of them because i wanted you to get upset because i wanted you to go in and see that they didn't exist anymore but you didn't come in the store so i ruined it so i may as well give it to you nice so they do have coconut water
KFC
Oh
With your coconut oil.
Tea. Mm-hmm. We used to be broken. Mm-hmm. Now we sit around on some dates with a two-year-old cigar, drinking all the pain.
It's a Sunday night, just drinking... Yeah, I'm drinking whiskey. I'll have a proper drink on a Sunday. Okay, so you're drinking Blue Label. My point is you spend thousands and thousands a day on booze and smells. Is that necessary?
Mm-hmm.
Is it necessary though?
Europe.
Literally necessary. Yeah, necessary. A necessity.
I think I love you.
Why are we here? Hold on.
- I'm not published now. - You've ever met a goat?
Have you ever seen a gun? I've seen a gun.
Exactly. Have you ever danced with the devil on the pale moonlight?
Have you ever seen a long one?
- No.
I
Probably not.
We can't leave.
These aren't answers to the questions. I've heard llamas are real if you've never seen them.
Because of the internet, I've never seen a polar bear either.
- I've never seen a Polaroid. - You look difficult, Polaroid.
What a little bit.
- Thank you.
- Find something new every day. - What are you wearing?
Why are you wearing a track suit?
because
Sound address.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're wearing a robe.
- You classy like your cousin?
Let me tell you something, I have $750,000 worth of cars parked outside of this hotel. I'm allowed to wear a robe to the bar.
It might be fair.
These gatherings.
And you are drinking Don P. I can come in with nothing but a fucking... Oh, no, you're Blue Label. I can come in with nothing but a... This is Don P. I can come in with nothing but a Thumb Bikini in made certain drinks.
Would they?
You can fucking try it even though.
- Ever seen an octopus?
Thank you.
No. Okay. Where are we going? So I got some good and bad news for you losers. Yeah? I'm ready. The good news is yesterday I met a beautiful girl from Ukraine, so well done to me. Can you give me a round of applause? No. No clap. No? No. She told me that right now there's fun in Odessa.
Odessa, Ukraine. Odessa, Ukraine. On the beach.
on endless champagne in Warsaw and now we have 20 girls blowing up our inboxes that we could sleep with all week. You want to go to Ukraine. She said it would be fine. That's why he told us to pack. For this.
What are we doing?
Where are we going?
Ukraine. Why? What do you mean to Ukraine? Ukraine.
You've never been to Ukraine before? I've got whiskey from the bottle on your private jet to Ukraine before. No, I haven't done any of this. Why haven't you done those things? You're really pathetic. You call yourself a man. What kind of man are you? Where do people take private jets? Wait, why are we going to Ukraine? People take private jets to where?
Duh. Is that why we're going? It's part of the reason we're going. It's part of the reason we're going. There's also a secret business deal I need to make. Nice. But that's confidential. Nice. Nice. Cakes only.
I thought you were not allowed to smoke on a plane. You're not allowed to not smoke on this plane. I thought it was safe to, like,
We're in the air.
There's smoke in this cabin. There's never been smoke in the air before. Yeah, there's never been smoke in the air. There's never been smoke in the air. What is this? I thought it was safety. Luke, safety. Safety's for poor people.
Drinking for my safety. She gave the pilots a swig or two. Why do you drink out the bottle? They have glasses. The bottle's made of glass. Luke. What are you? What are you cousin? Where are you even going? Crain. Why? People always
We take private jets to Monaco, Cannes, Vegas. We take private jets to Ukraine. Smoking booze the whole way.
Are you allowed to do this in the air?
Welcome to the real world, Luke. He got his fucking space suit again, didn't he? He did. Scared the smoke. With a space suit on, you're allowed to wear about the smoke, will ya? Yeah, not at all. I think that's what I packed.
Smokes, booze, what else do I need on this plane?
Dice. Private jet dice. Air dice Aikido. Air dice Aikido. How much money did you have when we hired you? Zero dollars. Maybe negative. Negative dollars. Negative dollars. So we're in Ukraine. You are. What do you mean? Are you in Ukraine? Yeah I'm in Ukraine. Okay so you're in Ukraine. Yeah we are in Ukraine.
in Ukraine. You are. Luke, Andrew, your cousin's in Ukraine. Do you admit it? I admit I'm in Ukraine, yes. Definitely. Do you admit it? But we are in Ukraine. You are. Yeah, you are.
Thank you.
*music*
*Gunshot*