Transcript
Pop Pop is showtime! 24K and last year in the end!
Big John Chinaman! Thank you very much sir!
Biggest pass, big bad magic! Finally fucking got it!
All that we need, there are different things.
*music*
Dubai authorities have temporarily claimed the city of space. Why have they become such a fucking vain man? The life's been good to us for that reason. Because everyone's slandering our city. We're gonna go there. Travelers are advised to check with airlines for updates. Officials say the closure is precautionary, while the situation continues to be monitored. We maximize the plot and God gives us arms. That's why we're going into an active war zone. We made it. It's left in three days, bro. Go out. Look forward to sleeping in the war zone.
So where's Bailey and Luke? I told the Chinese lady who was waiting for us when we got off of the first class flight because we're super important gentlemen. That we don't wait for economy class losers. We ditched them. So we ditched them in China. Correct. So they're Chinese losers. Correct. The losers of Hong Kong. Absolutely. This is the lady I told about the losers. She has it documented on her paperwork that they suck. Let's bounce. Bailey they got you guys. I feel got I'm like collateral damage.
They got me with collateral then. All right, listen. When we got off the plane, there was a nice lady waiting for us who took us to a private room where we enjoyed Chinese food. And yes, we have your bags. We have all the bags. We put them into Rolls Royces, and we left them the Rolls Royces with your stuff. So you've been standing there waiting for half an hour for no reason. Get a taxi, faggot, and don't take Tristan's car again.
My friends are losers. My friends are actually Chinese losers and they're waiting in the line. Because there's a big line when you don't take VIP service when you come through Hong Kong airport. It's a big line, isn't it? If you fly economy after a long flight, you have to stand in a big line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're losers. They suck. I think I'll have the blueberry muffin. Muffin. Yeah. And some coffee. And the caviar served with fondament. Yeah. Please check if you have some. If not, just a fruit salad. And a muffin.
- Please. - Okay, thanks. - Bailey, Brandon, you guys deserve this. I just realized the only reason they were able to take your bags is because you guys tried to get your bags to ride in VIP service. In check-in, whenever you guys checked in, I checked in differently. I checked in old school. I checked in economy, like a normal person. You guys probably checked in business or first class, VIP stickers on your check-in bags.
That's why they were able to take them. That's why you guys got famoosed. That's 100%. You guys deserve it for trying to betray economy. It's one thing to check in bags. That's one thing. That's already horrible. Check in bags and economy. For any, take confidential if you're watching this.
You never check in bags in economy. They might lose your bag.
And also, come on, what? You need someone else to carry your bags. Oh, all this weight, this weight's too much for me. I need all this stuff to survive. I know. I need all this weight to survive. I need all this weight. Tristan wanted you guys to go ask the desk. I've lost my bag.
"They've lost my bag." Just because we're not telling 'em 'til they write in the chat, they've lost their bag.
Fuck them. I hate them. Fuck them. I saved you guys by finally saying, you know what? Let me just tell them.
They've been there half an hour and Luke's with them.
Actually, I saved you 'cause of Luke.
If Luke wasn't there, I would have left him.
I would have burned in the wreckage all day. I would have stood there all day. Because I would have been getting my good karma points at the same time. I feel like a good person.
You know, I'll stay with you guys through this. I'd feel good. After that you have no bag, you wouldn't even work. Oh, 0% work. That's why I don't check anything in. I wasn't complaining. I was telling you guys, you're amateurs and you're shit at economy, and why would you ever check anything in? If that could be way longer, it would have been better for Luke's ranting, to be honest. I could have ranted four days about how you guys are shit at economy.
Alright guys, we're leaving Hong Kong. Are you still at the airport?
Okay, so anyway.
Ramen
-
We got out of the car, we've been here for 10 seconds. Andrew I think people know who you are. I'm big in Japan.
Come be a star. You're a star. This is called Take Confidential. It's no big deal. I'm just the most famous man in the world. It's my show. It's no big deal. Don't worry about it. I'm not a big deal. I'm a humble guy.
No big deal. No big deal. Sometimes you just gotta mix it up. Don't cough. Gangster.
Very good. You know what you're saying? You're going to be a star.
You got your hat, you got your little fucking life, you got your life, you got your fucking t-shirt. You got all your fucking crap. Like a little out of a backpack, then fucking do it. Be a man. We live in Hong Kong now. Fuck you. Qing Jong, China man. Thank you very much, sir. Sir, can we take a break? I enjoy Hong Kong. I want you to get me. Jump in, jump in, jump in. No, no, no, no. I've never been to Underbred Spicy Crab. Hey, T. Yeah? Hong Kong, Haikido. T, you're 38, 39, I'm 37. We should really go out.
Thunderbrook Spicy Crab. It's the best restaurant in town, Luke.
Get over it. Never heard of UBSC before? Get over it. Get over it. Get over yourself. You know the best dish they serve you. All your talk about saying that we didn't just fly here for noodles. Look at you.
Look at you stuffing your little fucking face. Your greed has consumed you. With your greed hat.
Look at you.
Look at you. I'm just eating some noodles. Oh, we didn't come here just for noodles. And then look at you, the second they're put in front of you. We didn't come here. No self-control. These noodles have revealed two things
to me. The flavors of China
and your true colors.
It's amazing how you'll deceive
Me. The brother of your cousin.
who you've known for all these years
You will pretend you don't want food to sit here and stuff your fucking greedy face. I didn't say I don't want food. I just asked why we're here. Unbelievable. You know what, I actually regret coming to China because of you.
I'm enjoying every aspect of China besides your
You've ruined the whole trip. For everybody.
The move says his system is perfect, but it's not. I told him his system would be vastly improved with a short sleeve t-shirt and a jacket. The jacket formalizes you so you can go into nice places. And then with the jacket you can survive minus 10. And if you take it off you can go all the way up to plus 30. It's the entire spectrum of the human experience of temperature in one outfit.
Jack that's the system and you know it's the best that's the system I use it is this is hot Bailey it's super hot are you wearing a thermals under your gym I am where no one because I'm crazy yesterday was freezing I was super happy for my thomas now I'm like ah it's burning hot it's like hot like that running heat Chinese thermals
I've had three students alone come up to me this morning. I had two. I actually had two. I wasn't aware we had many students. Didn't either. And we don't have the AI translation launched yet. No. So they're doing it in English? Yeah, I think they're doing it in English. They spoke good English, but I was surprised. So once we get the AI translation launched, we have Mandarin, Cantonese, Cantonese, everything else. Yep. And that should be less than two months.
in Miami, whether you're in New York, Hong Kong, all across Europe, Dubai, everywhere. No matter what city people are in, everyone's saying the same thing. Your school, the real world, is the only way to make money. My city, it's so hard to make money, it's so expensive, the wages are so low. I hear that in Bucharest, Hong Kong, Dubai, New York, Miami, LA, Nassau, Kazakhstan. Everywhere we go, everyone's saying, if you're working a normal job in a normal business, trying to pay normal rent and normal bills, you simply cannot survive. The only way to make money
is online in your school. And we hear that globally and from every single city we go to. The entire world economy has literally broken now to a point where a house is 100 years wages or something completely ridiculous. You stand no hope of ever escaping the matrix ever by working a job, saving your money, compounding your hours of labor. That's all long gone. We're the only way out besides gambling. It's the best feeling. It is. It's actually the best feeling. It is.
Because they're just some random guy. I mean, they're a student, but they're a random guy in Hong Kong. Random guy in Miami. And when we get flooded by crowds of people, they don't just come up and say, "Oh my God, you're famous." They all run up and say, "You changed my life. I made money because of the real world. You motivated me." They all say that. And it's truly amazing that besides us, the only way a young man stands a chance of having a life worth living is to just gamble. Which we all know how that's going to end for 99.9%. Ends to zero.
the weak and it's not for the lazy and it's definitely not for those who are content with mediocrity life is for the warriors the champions the ones who are ready to push their limits and achieve greatness you need to understand that if you want to get to the top you're going to need a team you're going to need a brotherhood you need people who are going to push you challenge you demand the absolute best from you because that's what winners do they demand the best not just from themselves but from everybody around them here inside of the real world you're not just some
Commitment is not just about you. Because when one of you wins, you all win. When one of you grows, you all grow. We don't settle for less and we don't let our brothers settle for less either. We hold each other accountable, we support each other, we celebrate our victories together. A community of people, you've already succeeded, so they're going to help you succeed too. They were telling me that I was out of shape, broke, just to call me out. It was what I needed, because the real world was that solution. Every day we log in, we have people to look for and people need their answers, so we are there, we're helping them.
negative, it's all positive, and you just gotta bring the work. This is about hard work, this is about discipline, this is about pushing yourself and your teammates to the absolute limits of masculine excellence, because that's what it takes to be.
I feel better. Did the vitamin C heal you? Maybe. Did you see what I did there? I did. Maybe why are you here? I don't know, why are you here? No, why are you here?
You didn't text me here for a party. No, I didn't.
I want to have a crazy night. That's not what I did. What I did was I said, this is how we got here. This is where you should go to get here. Andrew wanted me to text you this. That's what happened. Why aren't you joining the fun? You've joined the fun. The fun is here. Nah, I'd agree with that. Everyone in the other places, they don't know where the fun is. I found the hidden fun. The hidden fun isn't. Ah, there you are. So you guys, I've interrupted my fun time. Why did you run away from everyone? I didn't run away. This is the fun zone. You see this? This is the fun zone. You're outside the fun zone. You're the least fun person, perhaps, on the planet.
to breathe it all in. I had to take in the fun. You're just avoiding people and things. No, no, no. I found the fun zone. Can you just admit to everyone at home that you're autistic and retarded and weird? I'm not autistic, retarded. Then why do you not want to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone ever? I want to spend any money ever. I want to be in the fun zone where I can breathe in the fun and everyone else didn't find where the fun zone was, but I did. So I've been breathing in pure fun since you've been on this boat. Do you have a breath of a single breath of fun? What I think
Good look over here, guys. And this is serious because you don't spend any money. You don't go anywhere. You don't talk to anyone. You don't do anything. You won't even sit around people. And you should go to this tall building here. You should go into the reception. You should promise them that you'll be back in a second. You should use the toilet. And then get an elevator to the top. And then you should just kill yourself. You should jump off. You can do it now. We'll stay here. We'll set up the camera. And it'll be the final. I mean, you don't do anything anyway. What the fuck are you breathing for? Just think about it. The final scene of this episode. Take off an actual. Think about it. It's you at the top. There's Luke. There he is. There he is.
- Well, yeah, yeah, boom. Because you don't do anything anyway. What the fuck are you breathing for? What, you just sit in the real world? That's all you do? - Yeah. - No, it's, okay. - Exactly. I'm in the real world. - No. You don't, there's no point in you being rich. - Don't you realize that this is a giant matrix? - There's no point in you being anywhere.
You have all this money, you don't do anything. I really think the best thing you could do for entertainment value
Truthfully, genuinely, as the cousin to my brother, I'm asking you to please go and jump off that building and curious. Doesn't sound very fun to me.
I mean, fun zones right here.
You don't see anyone talking about this, which is super weird.
And because he's never moved like this before, you know, like what changed? I mean, he just went to Dubai because he was like trying to prove he could like do it during a war. And now he's in China? Those are places that people go to hide their money. Because like the rules are different and everything. But like China? And look at everyone talking about, you know, war. I don't know. It could be random, but it's just a gut feeling I have, you know? Are we like missing something here?
you
Mia, hello, is that your real name or is that lying?
Lie, caught her, I saw it in her eyes. Saw it in her, see I've been around the block, I can't be lied to. What's your real name? - Don't worry. - You can't pronounce a little bit of a word.
- Women can't lie to me, that's why I'm on this Real Nigger World Tour, I'm the realest nigger in the world, because women literally can't lie to me. They try with their little tricks, but I'm so good. - Why am I so cool? - Yeah. - I have Sculptin' everyday.
We just had to choose. We just had to choose a guy. Andrew, we've maxed out the ruse. What is this? This is the Chinese idea of funk. Because one of my associates said he's going to take me somewhere funk. But you know what? This is pretty funk. I like it.
You gonna like Lucas? Sure. Get your cousin a mic.
In the woods by your shoes. Don't look so hard might hurt yourself. No big difference on the red but blue. Oh shit. It makes me fresh old. It's me producer. It's got all them hopes. It's me producer. It's gonna make a tone feelin'. It's me producer. To the emergency. Days don't need it.
They do, it's Saturday. Tomorrow night, you can, tomorrow night can be boring, it's Sunday. I definitely won't take you out. No, definitely Sunday night we won't go out.
Fight!
Yeah, I'm sorry.
But tonight,
Saturday night you have to come out. Look at the happiness in this face. I have actual work to do. Yeah, exactly. The work is to come with your cousin.
who's my brother,
and come out.
That's the work. We'll talk about work the whole time.
So what we're gonna do is the students, yeah? Okay, I get it. We'll talk about it in the club. Let's roll. Let's roll.
- I told you we came for ramen, but we actually came for something far more important. What did we really come to Hum-Pok? What has the entire world been waiting for? And as usual, everyone's a fucking bitch and a pussy, and I have to get it done. As usual, all the bad things are happening, the fat signal goes up, Top G comes out and has to fix everything all by himself, because no one else is nigger enough to get it done.
As usual, it's just me. What has the whole world been waiting for? I think it's actually, no, because I analyzed and studied geopolitics in my spare time. I think it's for somebody who put a Chinese curse on Ben Shapiro. Correct. Thank you.
Costs 50 Hong Kong dollars per person. Luckily in Hong Kong dollars, I'm literally a fucking trillionaire. So let's get it done. He's our villain. He's a bad guy. We need to get rid of him. What do I do?
Write his name. Ah, write his name. Sure. This is a fair fight though because Ben and her are about the same size. So he can't complain.
Oh, right here as well. Okay. That's right. Whoop his eyes!
Yeah, that's right. Get it!
This is why we came to Hong Kong. This isn't why we came. This is exactly why. Get it!
Finally fucking got it! Rowdy, bro. I need a Bull Demon King Ramen noodle. That sounds fucking banging.
I have one of these. I'll take one. Bailey, I'm telling you now, you're going to die for it. It's going to be the spiciest thing you've probably ever had in your life. I have a suspicion that here, they know spicy. The definition of American spicy is not even spicy. That's my own take. I have a suspicion. Bull demon? I have a suspicion, Bailey. You don't know what you ordered. You have to look at the poster to understand what that probably means. Also, if I had to think about what I'd call the spiciest food I could possibly make, I'd call it probably bull demon. See who wants to challenge it.
Tristan challenged the Bull Demon. Mortal Kombat. I just thought the name was cool. I didn't even think it was going to be spicy. I knew it was going to be the spiciest thing in the band.
The truth comes out.
- Yes.
It's doable.
I know, it's doable, but it's not enjoyable
Doable and enjoyable are different things. It's the team of all. When Andrew did it, I really, really thought, okay, man, maybe it's not that bad. You can literally see all the chili. I'm Tristan, I know.
I can see it. Now this is doable. Yeah it's doable. It's doable. But the heat comes later.
- -
- Yep.
Second stage. Stage two.
The lady. The lady.
I don't know what it is.
- There's some science behind it. - There's delayed heat.
But no, the Demon Bowl's not as... I've been with Ruthless fuckin' Spices.
I'm sweating.
Because I hate being, I get nervous when I'm surrounded by doors. Damn, you don't know anything about cameras. Old school, take confidence. I can believe it. Fuck off. Take confidence, Joel. Check it.