Transcript
Jake!
J.
-
- Thank you.
Jay!
.
I had to get my dog, G.
Gee, come here. I had to get my dog takeaway.
Had to get him steaks.
Because
I've come to the conclusion
that I'm gonna feed a bunch of random women, as disloyal as they are, in the best restaurants in Bucharest.
Who would I be to not order sirloin steak?
for my best friend.
who I've had for all these years who has never let me down, more loyal than any fucking bitch will ever be.
And they're walking around, going to the best restaurants, eating all the best food, and I'm going to give him, what, dog food?
No, he is sirloin. He's the most expensive steak money can possibly buy.
Because...
He deserves it. These are beef ribs. They're beef and they still got bits of the bone in.
They're fucking banging. He just eats the whole bone and everything. It's a gangster.
If I'm gonna feed women, I'm gonna feed my best friend. Look after your boys. Bros before hoes.
Okay.
Thank you.
*crackling*
What are we doing?
- Thank you.
Why aren't we at an opera?
-
You look like you can't wait to go watch someone sing their heart out.
I would bet we're gonna be here for 15 minutes max. Under or over?
Alright, we'll see what happens. T, you excited for the opera? Shut up, this isn't the opera.
We need booze. Let's get up and go get some.
Three days later.
.
Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerer of death's construction In the fields the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds
Oh, Lord, yeah.
Politicians hide themselves away They only start in the war Why should they go out to fight They leave their own to the poor Yeah!
Who'd you mate? Who? The whole, the garlic selling witch lady.
I think we need to buy some garlic from her. If she comes to this car, you think I'm not buying garlic? I'm gonna keep away evil spirits.
M3's a nice car and that guy does have a nice car, but me and Andrew literally bought one just to see what the steering was like.
again.
Six and a half hours later. Anything perfect. I'm set. So I heard Rory's trying to do his show. What's Rory's show called?
Two pints? Two pints with Rory Sinnott? I heard he's in my house doing a show without any fucking pints.
- Ah!
I'm not having that.
How dare he? How dare he?
- Thank you.
I've heard a story. I've heard a rumor. Rumor what? A bad rumor. Guys. I hope to God it's not true.
Look who's here. I hope to God the stories I've heard are not true.
I really do. Why have you crashed West Street? What's the name of this show again?
I said, I told you I wasn't drinking this week. What does it say on the front?
You don't like the police. Why are you trying to be police? Because I...
Heard, you're trying to have a show called Two Pints with Rory in my house without two pints.
So what does that mean? You're convicted? First of all, I bought you a gift.
Tristan. What? Why have you bought me false nails?
False gay fingernails. Well, I thought if you're gay, because you can't handle two pints on a podcast...
Then you may as well put the fingernails on so everyone knows you're gay. You know how like Drake and these people put their gay fingernails on and finger pick themselves?
I actually tweeted about that and said men wearing fingernails is super gay. The only thing gay in that is having a show called Two Pints with Rory and not having two pints.
That'd be very gay. So have we got pints? Yeah, and I know what you're thinking. Well, maybe you should take fake pints to entertain the viewers. I don't do fake pints, ladies and gentlemen. So we're having pints of whiskey and soda. Switch the cameras.
Not a very good producer.
Mr. Producer.
Johnny Walker Blue? He makes the worst shows.
Ah, shit. How are you going to have a show called Two Pints of Rory in my house without actual pints?
So we're on the whiskies now. Shit's about to get dangerous. It's a pint of whisky and soda.
What were you talking about while your viewers and fans realised that you were a closet homosexual? That is not the case. Is that what you were talking about?
Hello, I'm here! Two Pints of Roya! No Pints! Let me ask you a question. What's the name of my show?
Emergency meeting. Do you think I've ever had a show where it wasn't a real emergency?
I don't know how to answer that, actually. I don't know how to answer that, Tristan. I'm authentic. When I'm sitting there telling them that Alex Jones is right, and they're going to make the frogs gay, and you need to get rich now, and...
What else do I say?
that transgenders aren't real women. Listen.
That's an emergency. So I'm true to my show with my emergency meeting by holding real emergencies. And I'll be fucking damned if I let you host a show called Two Pints in My House.
20 episodes in without your fucking pints.
See, isn't that better? Isn't that better already? Hasn't your move immediately improved? I think this show is about to get a whole lot better. I'm done buying cars for this year. I have to do. I've got 30 cars in three months. It's out of control. It's unnecessary. I can't drive them all.
has to be.
I've seen the new Bugatti that's coming out. Looks incredible. Out of this world.
I'm gonna get one of them. Got my Pagani Utopia, got my two Jescos, got my two Jameiras, got my Rimac, got my A12 competitions.
*music* Bro, the new Bugatti is 5?
The Jescos were five each, that's 15. The two Jumeirahs were five each, that's 25. Pagani was around five, that's 30.
The room back was around five, that's 35.
My 812 competitions were 1.5 each, I got four of those.
out of control. You cannot just spend 50, 60 million dollars on it.
I need to stop. It's enough. I'm done. No more.
I've retired from cars until probably
August and then I'll buy 10 more.
I
Every time you want to buy a new one, I'm going to show you this video.
this will be your... - Andrew! - Healthy reminder. - You don't drive them. Andrew, if you've driven every car you own,
You can buy it. But if you've not yet driven, if you've not yet sat inside of some of the cars you own,
Not even just to go up and down the road like you did with the M3 and say you don't want
If you've not even sat in them, you're not allowed to buy a new one. Oh, I'll get it. We're having an amazing dinner, but one thing is missing.
Where's your brother? Oh, Captain Fun. Where's Captain Fun? A lot of many people know that Tristan won't do anything unless it's boozy. You want to drive supercars? No. You want to go to Iceland? No. You want to go see volcanoes? No. You want to go out for dinner? No. You want to go out for Shisha? No. You want to go out for cigars? No. He sits in his house, angry. He won't do anything. But if you say, let's go out for a drink, he'll come. But for anything else, he refuses.
That's why it's called Captain Fun. I'm gonna start documenting this so people actually can see what we talk about. He's never here. We've even got a secret. Look, he's there. Just to know that he's not here. Captain Fun.
Now they're attempting to silence and censor my school. They're attempting to do this because it works. $255,000. $15,000 a month. $22,000. Five figures a month. $15,000 euros. If my school did not allow people to make money from home, they wouldn't censor it. My school delivers exactly as promised. It's completely changed my life over the course of the past few years. It is the only educational platform on the planet that will teach you how to make money today. You can join at 8 o'clock in the morning and be earning money by 8 o'clock the same night.
even need my job anymore. I can literally make money from thin air. You do not need $100,000. You do not need to waste four years getting a degree. You can join and start making money online, matrix-free, geographically free, near instantly. We have a completely custom platform. Nothing is matrix-owned. We teach things that you can't learn anywhere else. We teach it all for $49 a month. Sales, business, finance, marketing, investing. Learn the ways of artificial intelligence and
even teach you fitness. We are constantly and endlessly up to date. The day you are watching this video is the same day that new information and new updates were added to it. And it is for this reason we are the largest online educational platform on the planet and will continue to grow until the Matrix finally cracks forever. They cannot stop the light of God's truth. They cannot stop me. They cannot stop the ambitious people finding the tools they need to escape. It is game over for the Matrix.
*music*