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Episode · 23 h 57 min

00:00:00 / 00:00:00

Source: Tate Speech · 8 Aug 2023Watch the full video on Rumble (opens in a new tab)

Transcript

Right, guys, welcome back to the latest emergency meeting where the Tate brothers will spend 24 hours in their homemade cell. Be sure not to miss out. Who knows what might unfold?

So we're back.

Back in jail.

Back in jail, old friend.

is super awesome.

Super authentic.

This is exactly how jail feels.

This is bigger than jail.

and there's no cockroaches yeah let's talk to let's let's there was yeah you let's do a difference of the rooms because people are listening one there are no cockroaches

because I didn't want to put cockroaches in my house, because then they'd infest the house and be very hard to kill them. So there are no roaches here.

The original jail had roaches.

to

The original jail, we had a television with a few channels, most of them in Romanian.

Now instead of a television, we have a screen where we can see ourselves

And on the screen, we can see ourselves, we also have viewers, and we may be opening up to questions at some point.

And that's our entertainment instead of having a television.

This area is twice as big.

This area is too big, but there's nothing we can do about it.

Our we're by ourselves. We have no cellmates. No one else is going to

come into this jail, certainly not during this 24 hour emergency meeting. And our bathroom is just behind the cameras. There's a tiny toilet separated by a door.

But that's very authentic because in actual jail, we had a bathroom door where you could go in.

do your business anyway. So we exit for a minute or two. That's just us going to the back. I have the authentic jail slippers. You do have the authentic jail slippers. Are you jealous? No, because I didn't wear them either. I'm a better prisoner. I said they were ugly when we were in jail. I told you to stop wearing them. And they even have the original pen scribbling when you scribble on them.

from jail.

Also, because we're under judicial control, tomorrow morning at 11, me and Andrew do have to go to a police station to sign a piece of paper. Now, we will not be using our phones, we'll be put in the back of a car, driven to the police station and driven straight back here. Again, very authentic to the real jail experience as we often were escorted to go to court.

the doctors, police would take us places. So we are actually going to a police station tomorrow.

Guards will be searching the cell while we're at the police station and then we will be immediately thrown back in here. No access to our phones, no access to technology.

Why are we doing this?

Bro, this is jail. This is jail. What did we do? We walked back and forth.

I'll tell you what, I need it.

I smoked cigarettes.

The authentic jail asterisk, as you know,

is the lid from a top of a jar of instant coffee, obviously.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Of course. I know that very well.

I feel like we're going to set a trend, Andrew. I feel like people are going to start...

"recreating jail."

and doing jail time on the internet.

But as with everything,

We are super cool when we did it first.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

just yesterday I was smoking a

$2,000 cigar, lit.

with a DuPont

$60,000 light charge was purchased today.

Backstreet cigarettes, old reliable plastic, big lighter.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ, how did we do 92 days of this?

It's been five minutes. Three months ago.

Thank you.

Three months.

In flashbacks, three months we sat like this.

Three months. Gee, for three months we sat and did this. Think about that. If you said that someone had to do something for a month, most people can't even go to the gym for a week.

We sat for three fucking months.

92 days. Never missed a day.

We're not a single day off.

Yeah, three months of consecutive...

Jail time.

Man, that's something. Think of what people like me and you are capable of accomplishing in three months.

We're not just those bums who sit at home and waste all their energy and waste all their potential.

Thank you.

We actually have things to do. We have kids and shit as well.

Three months.

What are the good things about jail?

Thank you.

What, this jail? Now we're in jail? Jail. What's the good things about jail? No women are stressing us. No one's blowing up our phones. We have no phones. No stress. Is that a good thing? There's a cigarette under my pillow.

Whoever was setting up this jail put a cigarette under my pillow. Better smoke it then.

Well, I know the rules.

Find a cigarette, you have to smoke it.

This is hotter than jail, 'cause there's no air conditioning.

I was in Romanian winter jail. Yeah. And jail was freezing.

you

Thank you.

Let me see if I can get comfortable. Of course, the original jail ashtray is the floor.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Amen.

We've sentenced ourselves.

to jail. Older people are expecting like a really exciting live stream.

Because jail sounds like an exciting story, but it wasn't.

It was day after day after week after month.

of monotonous waiting.

We did get phone calls in jail, but we didn't get phone calls every day. So today's going to be one of the days that we have no phone calls.

Yeah, there were many phone callers days in jail.

Thank you.

Yeah, this is one of the days when we're saving our phone minutes. Admit you're in jail.

Admit you're in jail.

I asked you first.

Admit it.

I, Tristan Tate, am a loser and went to jail. A minute. You went to jail.

We'll talk about me afterwards. You went to jail for three months.

First you have to admit you went to jail. And you didn't even do any crimes. So you're an extra loser.

Thank you.

Okay.

These mattresses, although they're very uncomfortable because we bought the cheapest mattresses we could,

they are slightly more comfortable than the ones in jail.

Thank you.

We got all of our mail tomorrow morning, which means any super chat, all of them will be saved and given to us tomorrow morning with our mail delivery.

because that's when the mail comes yeah so good super chats

Thank you.

Don't ask stupid questions.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do I miss jail? Am I enjoying this? What do you call a man with no friends in jail?

Andrew.

Tristan.

Thank you.

Technically,

you

did more jail than me because you've lived less years than me.

but did the same amount of days in jail as I have. So a larger proportion of your life was spent in jail than mine.

So do you admit

You have done more jail than I have.

who's you admit you're the criminal

Thank you.

No. You've done more jail than neither of us have done any crimes in our life. Yeah, but you've spent more time in jail.

As a percentage of your living years. I've spent a higher percentage of my life in jail than you have. You fucking loser.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm institutionalized. I can't make it on the outside.

I had to build this. People on the internet think we're doing this for like some sort of stunt. I had to build this jail, Andrew, and I

I'm never leaving. You think 24 hours. I now live here in the jail.

That's just the way it is.

I'll keep my potato soup through the door.

It's all set up. I'm rich enough.

to sentence myself to jail in my own house.

You can go and live your life and drive the cars around. I'm staying here.

.

Thank you.

Bye.

It's amazing.

how you think when you get out of jail. You'll appreciate everything a million times more. And you do for a while, and then it starts to feel normal again.

I still will have, I still will appreciate life much more.

We were sitting in the restaurant the other day, and I said...

to the guys.

who were drinking their coffee, smoking the shisha pipes,

not really paying attention. I said, every city you are in, everyone who's watching us,

just a few miles away from you if you live in a city.

There is a building

filled with dudes

who you will never ever see.

They just live in jail.

There are jailmen everywhere in the world. A couple miles away from where you're sitting right now is a room

a building filled with men who will never see the light of day again.

Probably a few of them are innocent too.

Scary.

And I'm one of them because I'm never leaving this cell.

I like it here.

I like jail.

Matrix attack, come to sleep.

Okay.

make sure this is attacked us about these cool slippers

You dig at those cool slippers, I'll give you that.

I also do have a pair.

This is what we did in jail, isn't it?

What books did you bring?

Quran and the heart of war.

The books are you, mate.

The Count of Monte Cristo, from Russia with Love, and the Bible.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How long are you staying here? I bet I'll stay in here longer than you.

Thank you.

How many people are watching us in jail?

I'm down, we're in jail, we can't see anything.

What if no one's watching? You are uninteresting and dull and nobody likes you.

If I had to design the worst person in the world, I would start with you as a Blueprint.

Mm-hmm.

And I just did like a few tweaks and finalize the worst humans. How would you tweak?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good question.

There's not much to change. Okay, so you're trying to design the worst person in the world. Correct. You start with me as the blueprint.

What do you alter?

Thank you.

It's hard. You're almost there, friend.

You're almost about perfect, mate. I've almost made it.

You've almost made it.

I mean, as far as people go,

Thank you.

Oh, baby, take care.

If I had to design... What flavor? You want the dinner? Marlboro.

Or dessert, Chesterfield. I'll have a Chesterfield dessert.

If I had to design the perfect brother, I'd start with you as a blueprint.

but I changed one major thing. I put you in jail forever.

Yeah.

You know, I could get the bigger bedroom.

More cars for me. Don't have to share them.

Bye.

So you're a good brother.

I'd start with you as the blueprint.

but I'd sentence you to life in jail forever.

perma-jail.

Remember when we thought we were in permijail?

We were in permijail. We're on 19 days permijail.

H. Farmer's out.

Especially because it's supposed to be one day.

You finally let us out.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So the jail schedule is set up to run exactly like real jail.

This is real jail.

It is.

self-imposed.

Thank you.

I challenge anybody to do this.

for 92 days.

Okay.

What do you call a man with no shins?

Thank you.

Tony.

That wasn't funny.

Yeah, I got that.

Have you heard my joke about dreams?

Oh.

There was a man.

who loved trains,

So he

stole one.

drove it

crashed it killed 50 people

They sentence him to

Death.

and the United States High Electric Chair.

They ask him what he wants for his last meal and he says, "I'll have a single banana by itself and nothing else." And he eats the banana.

The next day they take them to the electric chair, strap them in, everything's working perfectly fine.

They pull the lever.

and he's still alive.

nothing really happens.

So his lawyers fight the case and say to the judge, well, technically,

He's carried out a sentence.

we put him in the electric chair. So I think we should let him go. And they let him go.

Still train obsessed, he runs into the train station immediately out of jail, steals another train, crashes, kills 100 people.

They again sentence him to death. They say, "What do you want for your last meal?" He says, "I'll have a single banana by itself." He eats down the banana.

They're strapped in the electric chair the next day.

Everything's working perfectly fine. They pull the lever.

And he's all right.

So again, he... There's another train, kills a thousand people. Worst train crash in U.S. history.

Sentenced to death.

asked him when he wants for his final meal and he says i'll have a single banana on its own and the warden of the prison

I'm going to give you the standard life, steak and eggs and potatoes.

So we eat a standard meal and they walk into the death chamber the next day, strapping, strapping into the electric chair.

pull the switch,

And again, nothing happens. The director of the prison says to the guards, who's been giving this guy bananas? And one of the guards says, oh, it's nothing to do with the bananas, mate. It's just a very bad conductor.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Woo!

Aren't you glad you're sucking jail with me?

I've got more comedy classics coming up later.

That joke was so funny.

Thank you.

I forgot to laugh. Have you heard my joke about tractors?

Thank you.

Thank you.

There was also a man who really, really loved tractors.

He had tractor wallpaper, tractor pajamas, a tractor shaped alarm clock. He was absolutely obsessed with them. Changed his name to John Deere.

Thank you.

One day he wins the lottery and he's finally got enough money. He thinks, you know what? I'm finally rich farming equipment is expensive, but now I'm going to go and buy myself a tractor.

So it goes to the

John Deere showroom gets into this big tractor he's really excited to test drive it but he slips and falls and the tractor runs over his legs breaks both of his legs and his spine

He spent six months in hospital rehabilitating himself.

Luckily, he's left without permanent injury, but when he leaves hospital six months later,

He's exactly the same guy, except he can't stand tractors. Absolutely hates them.

ripped the tractor poster off his walls,

burns his tractor

pajamas, his tractor alarm clock, throws all of them out because I never want to see a tractor again.

Thank you.

Goes into the pub the next day for a pint.

Orders a pint from the barman.

but the pub's full of smoke.

John Deere was a non-smoker. So he breathes in and he breathes out. When all the smoke in the pub clears out immediately.

landlord of the public's image has made that's amazing how did you do that he said

I'm an X-Tractor fan.

Aren't you glad you're in here with me?

Enjoying jail yet?

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you call a dickhead in jail?

Tristan.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

I admit that was a good joke.

My ex-tractor fan joke. I don't think you get it. I think it's just too complicated for your simple mind.

I feel like my level of comedic genius

is just so

far superior

to anything you can possibly comprehend.

And that's why you don't laugh.

Remember in jail when I used to flirt with the female prison guards.

Thank you.

That was interesting.

um

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to jail two minutes, so I'll already start changing them up again, just like jail. Yeah, exactly. There's nothing else to do.

Thank you.

There's books and cigarettes.

Thank you.

to be fair i don't miss the tv because they're just romanian tv anyway

But sometimes,

Judge Judy was on.

every couple days.

There'll be a few episodes of John's Judy.

some real justice

That was real justice. Judge Judy is

a legend. Super legend.

She may be one of the smartest people I've ever heard speak. People overlook that show and how great it is. People just think it's kind of funny.

But if you're actually a smart person yourself and you hear

her powers of deductive reasoning

He's incredibly intelligent.

One of the smartest people ever to have a career in television.

by far.

She's like four foot 11.

And she's terrifying.

If you were to go to court and lie to her,

You need to be scared.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Those were the good times.

So what do we have?

Walter.

- Instant coffee.

Shall I eat a spoonful of it?

like we did in jail.

Why?

Just stay up all night.

to enjoy jail time more.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

So you don't want to eat spoonfuls of instant coffee with me?

So,

Bye.

So you're scared?

So you're scared of the jail instant coffee challenge.

Over here you can see we have a little table.

with our jail stuff.

plastic knives plastic cups here we go plastic spoons

Thank you.

*crunch*

Okay.

*sniff*

Join me.

It's exactly like jail. We tried to make it as authentic as possible.

We instantly reverted to the same stupid shit we did in jail. You did this in jail. Don't do it. There's no point.

Why?

Because now I have to do it.

I'm not a fucking cock or a coward. I'm not a little bitch. I'm gonna let you down.

Thank you.

If I'm your brother,

We'll go down together.

Thank you.

- It's gonna fall.

Fuck's sake.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Absolutely.

disgusting

Thank you.

Remember Joe, we ate one of these in a day.

Bye.

Thank you.

We ate one of these in a day, in two days.

Just keep going back and forth challenging each other.

Remember when I lit my beard on fire for a joke.

If you have a big bushy beard, gentlemen, do not try this at home.

And you're in jail and you light it a bit. The flame travels across your face.

And it's kind of cool looking. So I stand in the weird, bumpy plastic mirror.

that you couldn't really see yourself in. And I'd light my beard on fire as a joke, and one time I seriously burnt my lip here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You'd like some water.

Yes, please. Wash down that coffee.

That was horrible. Why did you make me do that? You have the worst ideas.

In fact, it was you who started that trend in jail. I did start it, you're right.

I started thinking I was smart. And then you called me names until I joined in. Well, that's most things about that control.

Thank you.

One time.

from the commissary.

I tried to get coconut water.

which you couldn't get.

But they brought back this sugary, horrible drink.

in plastic bottles with bits of coconut flowing in it and it had like hundreds of grams of sugar per two liters and i drank three bottles in one day and made myself throw up

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

now i'm not tired i was at least a little bit tired i thought i might get some sleep

Now I'm buzzed up on caffeine. For no reason. Why did we do that? Even in jail, when sleeping makes time go faster, we used to eat instant coffee.

I know one spoonful of a fucking coward, little bitch.

We'll see.

I need a cigarette.

Scary, scared to have two, but you never have two. Little weak link, man, like you, little weak link.

I'll turn this to a coffee-eating contest.

*clap*

*clap*

I'm going to up my daily intake of cigarettes.

James Bond smokes cigarettes.

Thank you.

Let's sing a song.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Did you listen to that song that I sent you the other day?

that redneck farmer

Gay Bar, no. It's a really good song. I don't like their music, man. It's a country music song. It's very good. I can't remember what it's called.

Something about Tristan Tate is gay. Oh, the Tristan Poo Poo song.

Thank you.

Is that what it was?

That's not a real song and you're making things up. I'm going to show you a magic trick.

Tell me which hand the lighter's in. Ready?

Okay.

Neither.

Wrong.

Can I open both your hands?

It's neither. I instantly knew. It's in an instant.

no no who can eat more tea bags

oh and every 10 minutes we'd ask each other why are we in jail and neither of us knew

why are we in jail well now we put ourselves in jail

Before, we were walking up and down saying, why are we in jail? Calling each other losers for being in jail. You are a loser for being in jail, though.

You can admit it, you're a loser. You're a fucking loser. You're the one in jail.

I'm not in jail.

My mind is free. Only my body is in jail.

Amen.

Count of Monte Cristo was really in jail.

13 years.

for a crime and even commit.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

What do you call a man with no friends?

Who's in stereo?

I've lost my mind again. Where you resist the slave mind t-shirt he bought on topg.com.

I've lost my mind. What's his name? Tristan.

I've instantly reverted to jailbrain.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel like

We're back.

We were going insane.

Maybe I did go and say, maybe I've lost my mind.

Maybe this is actual real jail and the last few months have just been a fantasy.

that I've been having, well, in my cell, rocking in the corner back and forth, screaming McLaren like I'm actually free.

Okay.

Thank you.

You go back to jail, Brandon, because when you're in jail you have to reduce your brainpower to survive. You can't be a smart person in jail, you have to be an idiot. Yeah, it's fucking hard. Did you eat not a spoonful of coffee?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Go on, dude, you don't have to. Be a little bitch. Go on, no, it's fine. Just say you don't want to. Say it's disgusting and horrible. Go on, go do it. I don't want to. It is disgusting and horrible.

This is how we end up eating jars of coffee a day, Tristan. This competition between us. Give me...

the jar.

Nothing good comes of me.

Thank you.

my unmatched coffers spassy couple with sheer spoon ability

Makes me appear devoted in any realm of eating granulated coffee.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

you

Okay.

Remember when we got that Scrabble board? That tiny little Scrabble board that we hustled?

Thank you.

off those other roommates for cigarettes.

When we change the rules of Scrabble, we can make up words. We change the rules of Scrabble so you could make any word that sounds like it could plausibly be a word.

So originally,

Bye.

Thank you.

We played real Scrabble two or three times.

about once a day. And then there was a word that probably was a word, but we didn't have a dictionary to check if it was a word or not.

So,

We went further and further down the rabbit hole to anything that sounded like a word.

Couldn't count.

I won that game.

two triple word scores. I don't even know what the fucking word was.

It was obviously complicated and genius.

Don't worry, we'll get out. We have cork tomorrow.

Oh, I remember those days.

What?

Those two ladies did in fact

Let us out. God bless them.

you

you

Where's my lighter? My cigarette's gone out.

which is unacceptable.

Light your beard on fire.

My beard's not long enough, I'll just burn my skin.

*tch*

Thank you.

*Sigh*

I'm scared.

You're too scared to light your beard on fire.

Admit it. If we lose a lighter, then we're devastated. Luckily. We got another one. We got two big lighters.

Roll-on deodorant, plastic cups, instant noodles.

Shh.

It's called the buffet in our book. It's fine.

Thank you.

I'm going to sleep. I have no face.

You do have a face though.

In fact, you have one of the most recognizable and famous faces in the world. You draw a bald man with a beard and sunglasses.

It's a picture of Andrew T.

If you were a bald man with a beard before whoever wore sunglasses, you've now stolen their look and they'll be accused of trying to look like Andrew Tate.

And I have no legs.

You do have legs.

Thank you.

I have no arms. You do have arms.

You're making stuff up. Life's going pretty good for me. I have a face and legs and arms. To be fair, that is a very good statement. Life is going good.

I mean, I'm in jail, but at least I have a face. Yeah, some people don't have faces.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now I have no head.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Admit it. You will not get a wink of sleep until you admit that.

I swear God is my witness. I'll do anything it takes to keep you awake unless you admit I have no head.

Fucking try me.

I'll start dancing around the room screaming things at you again.

Just like jail. I'm back, won't belong.

I bet no one's watching on your stream. Probably not. Because you're uninteresting. Probably. Nobody likes you. Agreed.

People think you're a human trafficker.

Nobody thinks that says 10 retarded autists full of vaccine. Everybody with a brain knows they're not human trafficker for having a girlfriend who has a TikTok account.

TikTok. Your girlfriend has TikTok.

She doesn't live with you. You've never transported her anywhere. She's lived in this country since before you came here.

You made her do TikTok.

But we can't find the money that you made. Matrix attack. Matrix attack indeed.

Thank you.

*sigh*

Thank you.

Maybe we should make a bomb and blast our way out.

This is our house.

We own this building. Have you ever considered mixing water and coffee?

Thank you.

to create an explosive substance.

Let's talk to me.

I don't think anyone's tried that before.

water and coffee no tristan i might grow my hair longer water coffee and become a short dork

and start working for Vice.

Thank you.

you wish me

What are you going to do when he beats you up? I got my t-shirt. Dedicated to him.

Can you admit that he's going to beat you up? I got a DNG t-shirt with him. Everybody came to the house and you left him outside.

Loser.

Loser.

Everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you.

He's your mate.

You don't talk to him. I don't even talk to him. I spoke to him like once.

Thank you.

you

his career is over. You've ended that man's career.

The DNG. The DNG. You've ended his career.

He's never had a career, bro. I mean, he's always been with there, hasn't he?

Still was there.

Perma-Wizzer. Wiz for life. Wizman.

He is WizAir Man, isn't he?

But Andrew, he thought

Making hit pieces on you would make him mega famous and cool.

Yeah.

Imagine being him.

Torturous. I'd go to jail.

I'd rather be me in jail than him. I was saying this the other day when someone on fucking...

X was saying, oh, you're under house arrest and I can do whatever I like.

I'm like, your options are more limited than mine.

If you're broke,

I didn't go gasoline in the car.

and no women like you and no good men who are friends want to hang out with you. And your options are severely limited.

even now the role in judicial control are options of things we can do with our life.

like,

go out and spend $10,000 on red wine and sit around with your friends and laugh. They can't do that, Andrew. They are far less free than us.

the people who hate on us.

They're much more in jail than we were.

You admit there's a picture of you on these cigarettes, because you'd like to smoke them.

Thank you.

What is it?

Smith is a picture of you. That's a picture of you. I asked you what cigarettes you wanted. You said Chesterfield. Is the guy in the picture wearing a shirt?

Yeah, but the guy in the picture is called Tristan. Is the guy in the picture wearing a shirt? Is you in jail?

Which one of us has a share home?

Thank you.

This is you in jail. A lot of coffees made me sleepy.

I think if we did the revolutionary act of mixing coffee and water together, we could create an explosive. Well, anytime. Apicalda is coming soon. Ooh, Apicalda.

It's almost time for Apicalda, I forgot. Fuck! Apicalda is the best part of jail. You're all I was thinking of was suffering.

Apocaldo is coming.

yeah fucking hell well jolly all that

Apocalda means water hot, by the way, for anyone who's not Romanian. James, great! Apocalda coming! What was I depressed about?

We did have Apicalda in jail, didn't we?

We can make chai, cafea,

When I was a jail amateur...

On my first day in jail.

The nice ladies came and knocked on the door.

And they said in Romanian, do you want hot water for tea or coffee?

And I was like, yeah, I'd love coffee, thinking I was at the fucking Hilton, thinking I was being Mr. Tristan Tate. I drink golden cappuccinos in the Burj Al Arab.

And she gave me two cups of hot water. And I realized very quickly that you had to have the coffee granules yourself.

And I sat there with those four criminals and drank a cup of hot water

as my breakfast.

What was your first day in jail like?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've never been to jail.

Yes, you have.

You're the underconvict here.

You have been to jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms and no face?

Stump.

faceless stump man andrew what do you call a man who's on the front of cigarette packets in a little fetal position like a baby crying his eyes out because he had a cigarette

this is you after you have a cigarette it's not it is i just had one after you have a cigarette this is you

Thank you.

where where is the correct that is in me 100 you everyone why is his name trust in then that's not his name

How do you know his name? What's his name then?

Andrew, show me proof of his name.

Otherwise, he's officially Tristan forever.

I'm going to find out who that man is. That man is you.

You're going to go down the rabbit hole trying to find out who they put on the cover of Chesterfields and be very bitterly disappointed if you find out it was you. I will. You will. I want you to find out it was you. Will you admit once and for all...

You are afraid of cigarettes.

I'm changing my name to...

Gaspard Cateroose.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm changing my name to the Count of Monte Cristo.

Thank you.

This is you.

People at home need to see you. This is Tristan. Everyone pay attention.

Thank you.

This is Tristan. I want everyone to see Tristan after he has a cigarette.

Hey, look, I've got a picture of you.

Picture of Tristan after he's had a cigarette.

Andrew, I found a picture of you.

What do I look like?

You're laying in bed.

with some woman and some child looking at you dying.

*sniff*

nice well this might be your fetal position because you cracked your eyes off this but this might be you

dying in a hospital. Yeah.

Thank you.

Why don't these pictures work at all?

The main one smoke more.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That guy's testosterone level must be through the roof.

Stop showing that to the cameras. I'm showing you.

Thank you.

It's not me. I like how we've blacked out our window so we have no view.

That's very authentic.

you

Okay.

Thank you.

we're going to have a no we're going to have a no cigarettes

Thank you.

Thank you.

What did you learn?

from jail. What does jail teach you? It doesn't teach you anything.

Thank you.

If you were a real criminal who actually did crimes, would jail rehabilitate you?

Hmm.

You know, when I was younger,

Thank you.

I see these rappers think about catching a case.

Like you catch a cold.

Sometimes you just catch a case. You don't do anything wrong. You're just out there in the world to catch a cold. I heard Mayweather say that as well.

Catch your case.

I didn't really get it, but now I totally get it. Sometimes you just catch a case, bro.

Sometimes use Xenop in general.

I didn't do anything wrong.

you just kind of end up in jail.

for our life as a man that did happen to us didn't it it's happened again here we are

Well, I...

this

Okay.

It's amazing how like jail this feels.

We've really done well.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I spy with not a lie, something that means with Jay.

you got me with that one when we first got moved to the same cell together

Took me a while and I realized the answer was jail.

I start my life, something that begins with B.

Don't know baby

Thank you.

I sparred with my lie. Sometimes it begins with

S

D. H. Stupid dickhead. Me.

Well played.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Why don't we light a fire and burn this building down as a protest? I really think we could build a bomb. I remember seeing the Steven Seagal movie where he was under attack and he was in the house. You are not!

Steven Seagal.

Hear me out.

He took some cooking oil and some Vaseline. Yeah, put it in the microwave. And for some reason, that was a massive explosion. Yeah.

I don't think anyone has ever tried putting water and coffee together before. I think if we take instant coffee granules and add water, we can create an explosive, which allows us to break out of jail.

through the concrete walls.

We seem to shield ourselves from the blast.

How about this?

to add to the explosive potential.

When they give us hot water, Apicalda,

Let's do the revolutionary idea of mixing hot water with instant coffee granules to create an explosive we can use to break ourselves out of jail.

I'd rather make tea.

Thank you.

The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea.

Thank you.

Do you remember you were waking up early in the morning to go to court?

more often than not to just get sent back to jail. Some more.

Retort.

Report.

Fort.

port.

short

Thank you.

Are we actually doing this once a month?

We need to ask Twitter who they want to see in jail with us.

Do a day and month in jail. Yeah. A 30th of our lives in jail. Sentence our friends to jail. If we do one day every month in jail,

the 12th of every month.

We'll appreciate life more.

This has made me remember Jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The worst thing about jail is you.

Yeah, I prefer being with the random Romanian drug dealers. The moment they put me in a cell with you, I was pissed.

That was extremely depressing.

started eating coffee and doing weird shit.

Amen.

Thank you.

One of the best days in jail is when that guy's wife

sent him stuffed peppers.

And I ate stuffed peppers with crunched up Doritos in it. And it was the most delicious thing I've ever had. Maybe in my life.

Only cost me a few cigarettes.

All right, cigarettes are the currency of jail.

So I'll give you five cigarettes if you never talk to me again.

I'll give you six cigarettes afterwards if I'm not allowed to talk to you again.

No.

It's actually a good trade. I end one cigarette up for free.

But then I'll give you seven cigarettes to take all the cigarettes back.

It doesn't make any sense.

That would be eight cigarettes to get over it.

Thank you.

I'm going to quit smoking.

You want.

Thank you.

Passing a layer.

you

Okay.

*snap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who would be good to have in jail with us?

Thank you.

I think Rory would drive me fucking insane.

You know what I understand about people in jail? Why don't they just go home?

Thank you.

Do you remember every time I got bored, I lifted the phone off the wall and started calling a taxi, saying, can I have a taxi, please, from jail to take me home? Didn't work, did it?

Do you remember the remaining television commercials?

The guy who beat you up in the cholesterol advert.

No, forgot.

Thank you.

We'll see.

Thank you.

All right, we now spend 1 30th of our lives in jail.

So by the time I'm 60, I've spent a year, by the time I'm 65, I would have spent a year

of my life in self-imposed jail.

And I feel like the other...

29 years of freedom.

I'll appreciate much more.

Bro, how do we do 92 days of this?

Iron Minds, you have no choice.

It's depressing as fuck, bro.

What were our options? Leave. Good thing depression isn't real.

Departism is in real zone.

loads of people in jail depressed though

Thank you.

the people in jail

would often talk about what they're going to do when they go home. But some of the guys there who were looking at like 15, 20 years just looked super depressed every time someone was talking about what they do when they go home.

hug my kids, kiss my wife.

And then there was those guys who were just...

in jail.

Really in jail. Really in jail.

We were quite in jail.

But we met people in jail who are going to die in jail.

Thank you.

Yeah, that's K.

.

Some people deserve it, though.

That's the thing people ask me about the conditions in jail. I said I'm glad they're crap.

I don't want them to be good. Criminals don't deserve nice jails.

Sure, I didn't deserve to be there. Would you rather have a pet dog as smart as a snail or a pet snail as smart as a dog?

Pet snail smart as a dog. Why?

What can a snail do even if you tell it to fetch? It's too slow.

Can't pick anything off.

I've got nothing but time.

I'm in jail.

We're going to send a snail to fetch.

uh,

Pebble.

Fucking into the pebble.

Throw it. So the snail can go get it.

What would you name him?

You would not play fetch with your snail. Slimy. Slimer.

Thank you.

If you stepped on a snail and killed him, would you feel bad?

I've probably stepped on loads of snails.

That's terrible, bro. I think here while we're in jail, you should repent to God and the world. You should say sorry to all the snails you've accidentally killed.

No, I don't feel sorry for snails. No, you should say sorry to them.

You accidentally killed them. You didn't eat them. They died for nothing.

Amen.

I think while you're in jail,

You should pick up your Quran and repent to your God.

that we

No.

for all of the bacteria you've ever killed.

by washing your hands with soap.

Bacteria deserves it.

so do snails what snails ever done to you bacteria's made me sick snails have eaten my crops

You don't have any crops. Yes, I do.

Thank you.

I'm gonna turn our garden into a corn farm. You don't have any crops. Don't I?

Are there plants in my garden, yes or no?

trees,

Grass.

Do that? Yes or no?

Thank you.

I've been carefully cultivating my crops.

Bye.

Smoke a fucking cigarette, loser.

*clap*

We're going to end up with the guy on the packet.

Fetal position boy.

Cry my eyes out.

That's you.

Exactly.

Thank you.

*laughter*

What did I even think about in jail?

The happiest day I had in jail was when news got to us that you had been self-parked.

That was a good day.

I didn't even see the episode.

but it made me smile.

to know that you've been cell parked.

I am going to take a walk.

Because these beds.

or single uncomfortable.

Thank you.

This brings back memories.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've been doing this for hours.

*Piano singing*

- Free top G. - Can you hear them outside the window screaming free top G? - This really happened.

- We were in jail, they'd sit outside the jail, shouting free top G.

Yeah, we did appreciate that. We did super appreciate that. When we were in jail, we super appreciated it.

but also drive past with our cars and play songs.

like your theme tune. Why is that your theme tune?

Thank you.

That was good. That did give us an inspiration when we heard that.

that did make us happy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

or how bad this is.

It's the coolest story of our life. Free Top G! Free Top G!

hold tight all the mandem, all the guys who bothered to drive past and give us moral support that would then make us happy.

That did make us happy.

Super appreciate that.

I don't have to be a human being, I don't know.

Okay.

I'm thinking of changing the first two letters around.

from bunk and beds. Okay. To confuse the world.

Think about it. We take the first letter from bunk and the first letter from beds and we swap them around. Let's do it now. It's the perfect crime.

- There you go. They drive past and play this song for us.

I wish I knew what she was saying. I still don't know to this day what she talks, sings about. I should probably meet this woman at some point, considering her song is mine now.

I hope she's saying nice things about me. It's a lot of songs about men. Is it? Yeah. What does the man do? I can't remember. I read the lyrics once.

Of course, it was on top of the other book already.

How the fuck did we survive this, bro?

Oh, man.

Where's the survivors from?

Thank you.

They can't break our minds.

Our fans are shouting for us.

Thank you.

Nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

being falsely imprisoned for no reason and you've never committed a crime could make lots of people have mental breakdowns i can't have mental breakdowns but i think they exist hear me out i need to change the first two letters between bunk and beds to confuse the world when i say i'm going to go to the new thing which is new name that no one's

So I'm going to swap around the first two letters from bunk and beds. They won't know I'm going to sleep. And they'll think I'm doing something else, which allows me to get unlimited naps behind the back of all my opponent's enemies.

What do you think? - I think that's a wonderful idea, Andrew.

Thank you.

just a minute.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I have no face.

Shut up.

Thank you.

I'm going to sit in our chair.

I have no legs. We have an uncomfortable chair, just like we did in jail.

I'm going to sit in the chair with a change of pace.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So you get mail tomorrow morning.

Yeah. Super chance. Yeah.

Thank you.

Tomorrow morning is mail, which is all the super chats that get sent.

Let me get all our mail.

We follow the prison schedule for inspections,

Food, everything. - Yeah, you take it to the police station, sign a piece of paper.

Just like when we were in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Board of jail now.

Board of it.

Going to sleep. Good night. Good night, cruel world. - Tomorrow we also have to train. We have to do a thousand pushups tomorrow.

yeah we train the jet we got lower balls

Oh.

Good night.

Hello.

I have no legs.

Shut the fuck up.

Jail was better with the Romanian criminals.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

These posters are very cool. You know what isn't cool?

You.

They might have no head.

Who is the world's most boring internet influencer?

Andrew Tate.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you realize that?

Thank you.

You ever hear my joke about the guy who loved tractors? I told you that joke an hour ago.

You ever hear my joke about the guy who loved trains? Go on, tell it.

He was a very bad conductor.

Thank you.

That's just the punchline. Yeah, we skip all the boring part and get to the funny part.

Mm-hmm.

Do you ever hear my joke about the guy who loves cars? No. There once was a man who completely loved cars.

but he didn't like the idea of buying a new car.

because he wanted to get one that had already been run in.

So he decided to buy a used car. So he drove down the road.

in his car.

went to the first used car law he found asked him how much they'd take trade in for his car okay

They said $5,000. Okay.

And he was going to swap it.

for a very expensive, fancy used car that costs $20,000.

OK.

But he asked for a test drive.

Okay. And the used car salesman said, sure, you can test it.

So he gets in the car and he drives out.

And he drives north.

Then he drives south.

And he drives west.

Then he drives east.

And he returns to the used car salesman and says, I'll let you know if I want the car.

I have to see a few other cars first.

So he gets back in his original car,

drives on the road, finds another used car law.

Ask them how much they give him for his car.

They said $6,000.

If he traded it in and he got a fancy new used car.

She says, OK, I want to test this car. I found a really nice car for $45,000. I wanted to test it. He got on it and he drove north.

drove south.

He drove west.

They drove east.

He came back until he used Carlson as a salesman.

I think I might get this car. I'm very interested, but I'm going to try another car lot.

He's back in his car.

Drives down the road.

Thank you.

to another car law that sells used cars.

He asked him how much he could get trading for his car. He said $7,000.

They had a fancy new Cadillac. Sorry, used Cadillac. Almost new, used, perfect. Exactly what he was looking for. Took it out for a test drive, drove north.

Drove south.

Drove West.

Drove East.

Came back in.

told the car salesman that he's very tempted. He might buy it, but he has to try another car loan.

So he drives down the road. Shut the fuck up.

You're going to keep saying this over and over again, increasing it by $1,000 each time. And finds another car lock.

And he asked him how much he'd get traded for his car. He said $8,000. Okay.

He saw a used car he liked on the car lot. So he said, can I take it for a test drive? The guy said, yes. We drove it north.

Drove it south.

Drove it west.

drove it east, but he wasn't convinced. So he let the salesman know

that he's almost convinced, but he's not quite convinced, he has to try another car. So he drives down the road in his car, and he finds another used car law. And he said, "How much will I get traded for my car?" And the salesman said, "$9,000."

You have to uncover your head and listen to my joke.

This blanket's soundproof. I can't hear you.

Curtis did.

Are you accusing me of just talking complete shit?

and just going on and on forever about nothing. Have you heard my joke about the ducks? No.

wait i haven't finished my car joke yet there was four ducks who lived in a pond in the middle of a forest

One day.

A hunter came.

who was hunting ducks.

and he aimed his gun at duck number one.

And he fired and he missed.

Now the hunter wasn't a very good hunter. He was too confident in his abilities and he only actually bought one shell.

to the

forest.

So the hunter leaves and all the ducks say, "Duck number one." Hey, mate, that was very close. You almost got shot by the hunter.

And Doc number one says, yeah, I was...

super, super lucky.

I flew up.

super high and evaded him. So the hunter comes back with another shotgun shell the next day.

fires his shotgun shell at duck number two.

and he misses.

The hunter, of course, only packed one shell just like before, so he leaves the forest.

leaves the ducks in the pond.

And the other three ducks say, "Duck number two, look mate, you're very lucky the hunter aimed you and missed."

is not good.

Thank you.

And he said, yeah, it's wonderful.

So the hunter comes back for the third day.

He brings two shells with him.

He fires a duck number three.

And he fires at duck number four.

He misses the Ducks both times.

Then he went home.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You don't get it. Do you want me to say it again? Yeah.

Thank you.

Four ducks lived it upon in the middle of the forest.

I don't get it so far. I'm confused. Explain it to me.

What's a duck?

- You. - It's ribodactomy.

It's got feathers.

It quacks. Okay.

Thank you.

If you were an animal that wasn't a human, you'd be a duck.

Interesting.

Because you're a stupid, pathetic, idiot.

loser

What do you do if I turn the world upside down?

The world's always upside down, mate. No. Well, I take my pillow.

and put it here. Okay.

and I inverse the polarity,

of the axis of Earth.

What will you do when the equator no longer functions as it should?

Well, when the equator runs north to south instead of east to west. That's exactly what I have just done.

I don't think it is. Try it.

No.

- Scare it off.

Unforeseen circumstances, I understand. What are you going to do?

when the world's best astrophysicist doesn't know what a boy is.

"Oh, you're made."

Thank you.

Camille de Grasse Bumble Club. Well, he understands black holes, but he also understands what a girl is.

Why do you care how I identify? Shut up, you fucking geek!

He's a geek, you know? All these people who are supposed to be smart are fucking idiots.

Sam Harris is a dumb ass. Yeah. Neil deGrasse Tyson dumb ass.

They're all dumbass. Bill Nye sold out.

Yeah.

to spectrum.

shut up it's not a spectrum of these people are just dummies how do these people get known as smart who actually looks at them and thinks they're smart and can you give me credit admit before they even sold out i said to you i don't think these people are smart i think they're just nerds yeah

I said if you didn't. I said there were nerds about all of them. I said you can be smart and not be a nerd, or you can just be such a big nerd that people think you're smart, but really you just have a shit personality and you're boring.

Yeah, and you'll say what they tell you to say.

at the end of the day. I won't say what they told me to say. They're scared bro, they're scared you can cancel.

little babies have gotten a cigarette. Had a cigarette and a fucking mental breakdown. From now on, the loser on the front of all cigarette packets.

is called Neil. Neil, fine.

Neil the loser.

Fuck.

Because gender is on a spectrum. I'm going to put the polarities of Earth back to save you.

Otherwise you're going to fall off. What the people at home don't understand is as I lay here on this bed.

You almost fell off the planet. Yes. Think about it. Technically, you're not looking up.

Technically, you're glued.

with your back to the earth staring down into infinite space.

Did you know that? All I can see is a jailbed, man.

If I grip with my fingers into the floor of jail,

I can use my chi to slow down the Earth's rotation. Have you ever been to Jupiter? To make days longer. Hear me out.

And if I speed the earth up,

to spin

92 times faster.

we can finish our whole jail sentence in a day.

Have you ever been to Jupiter? Yes.

Is that why you're stupider?

You will never recover.

for the rest of your fucking life. You will never financially recover from what just happened to you. You're going to be broke forever. Next time you fucking want to walk around, I'm Mr. Millionaire, I'm the Tyler's man, walk around your fancy suits with your fucking fancy cars, try to go to Monaco casino, try to spend 20 or 30 grand a night on dinner. They're going to remind you of the fact that you went to Jupiter, and that's where you're stupider and you're never going to be the same again. You will never recover from this exact moment. Your life will never be the same from this moment that I told the whole fucking world where you've been and what you really are. I forgot people watching us.

Your favorite planet is Uranus.

I can't. I'm Neil.

Scared

Cigarettes are a spectrum.

Okay? I roasted him on Twitter. Tristan, cigarettes are a spectrum on how you feel. You know the worst thing about him? He was one of the people who said that Pluto is not a planet.

Because it's just not. He's been with you.

He's been to Uranus.

Thank you.

I hate vitamin.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name. It feels good to get out of the rain in the desert.

Thank you.

on the rest of the board. Do you know their stories?

In the desert, no one remembers your name because... La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

uh

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

After four days in the desert sun,

Andrew went to jail.

I walked up and down my jail cell, then I laid in bed.

I have been to jail longer than you, haven't I? Of course you have. You've been to Jupiter as well, you fucking loser. So I'm a hardened convict, and you're a jail noob.

Thank you.

Most people are jail noobs. Most people can't handle jail.

-

Jail's a punishment to weak losers.

Oh no, jail!

Fuck off.

Thank you.

Okay.

there's no punishment that can be given to us that stops us smoking we'll always remember that

That's true. I always smoke cigarettes. No matter what they do to me,

No matter how unjust

I am treated.

I'm always able.

to smoke cigarettes, no matter what they do.

I may not be able to, you know, run my business, take care of mom, look after my feed my children. Let's take that all that away from Tristan. Cool.

But what they can't take away

are my fucking smokes.

I said a hip, half, but hippie. If you did a hip, you'd probably don't stop the rock and say the bang, when you're self-drug, you're really good to be.

Shut up what you hear is not a test. I'm wrapping didn't be a meeting group member friends.

Or try to move your feet. My name's one of Mike. I'd like to say hello. The black, the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow. But first we got a bang bang. That's what we did. We say, I'll do the bang bang. We'll be less rock.

Don't stop right there to limit your body rock. So far you heard my voice, but brought one friend along.

Next on the mic is my man Tristan. Come on, Tristan, sing that song.

Four ducks living upon the middle of the forest. I have a used car. I'm going to use car salesman, north, south, east and west.

You've been to Jupiter because you're a fucking dork.

You and Neil deGrasse Tyson have long intellectual conversations about

Gender being a spectrum.

Jerking off at the same time. Planet Tar Spectrum.

Pluto is a planet. Space isn't real. NASA is fake. NASA is fake and the Earth is flat. I proved it by reversing the polarity of Earth.

I just reversed Earth's polarity with a pillow.

If the Earth was a globe, that wouldn't be possible to do. The equator now runs from north to south, and you're never going to financially recover from the fact that everyone knows you're stupider because you've been to Jupiter.

Fact, scientifically proven in jail.

I think you are in fact one of the lizard people.

My investigation was inconclusive.

When I get out of here, I'm going to fucking prove it to the world.

that you're a slimy lizardy cunt.

-

I have no face.

Shut the fuck up. How did I survive 92 days with you as my cellmate?

Thank you.

You were the worst part of jail.

Thank you.

Bye.

*sniff*

Thank you.

*whistling*

*crickets*

Thank you.

Three months is a very long time.

If you took a three month vacation at a five star hotel, hear me out, you'd get bored of it.

Thank you.

Three months traveling the world to get bored of it. I love sitting in this fucking room.

Thank you.

What was done to us was monstrous.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I met you with the Venus.

- How have you been to Venus? - No. - Because you're on my penis.

Stupider Jupiter.

and no penis in venus what's next for you what's next for your planetary journey of loserdom around the solar system for the whole world to witness voyager 10 tristan kate planet to planet ultra dork neil degrasse tyson and his co-pilot talking about spectrums and how happy you can be to talk and jerk off

That's your ideal space journey, isn't it? Star Trek, but fucking gay. That's your fucking dream. My ideal space journey. That is your ideal space journey. From planet to planet with Neil deGrasse Tyson. No, it's going to Mars with Elon, obviously.

That's everyone's dream space journey.

All

Thank you.

Thank you.

Have you been to the psalm?

Yes. Because you like it up the bottom.

But for some reason, it wasn't funny in my ones.

Thank you.

Because you're trying to take my jokes, but everyone knows you're the one who is on the fucking space journey and losing them around the solar system. And you're going to be doing that forever.

You ever been to Earth?

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Earth is flat and space is fake.

Nah, Elon wouldn't lie to me.

Did Elon say it's a circle? Well, whatever. Yeah. Elon wouldn't lie.

I believe the earth was flat and space was fake until Elon started doing space.

Can't trust NASA. It's run by Nazis. Alex Jones was right. I mean, I have no legs.

Thank you.

I could go to jail with Alex Jones and be very happy.

He's interesting. He's more interesting than you.

So we're going to recreate Star Trek. Captain Tristan of USS

- Spectrum. - The USS Spectrum. - The US Spectrum, USS Spectrum.

Travels the solar system, going to Venus because he has no penis, and going to Jupiter because he's stupid.

And the second in command is Neil deGrasse Tyson, who talks about happiness

of the spectrum.

Thank you.

That's what you're gonna do. And you're gonna go try and discover why you're both such monumental losers. Set Phaser to gay.

That's what you're going to say. That's your first opening line. I'm not sure those answers exist. I have hundreds of millions of dollars. I'm going to produce this show. I'm an actor who represents you. An actor who represents him. And they're going to be all over TV. Netflix special. I guarantee people watch it. And I'm just going to learn about you.

traveling the solar system you know really expensive movies cost less money than we have we could make movies

Thank you.

Quebec smoothies.

Thank you.

I'm not talking to you anymore. You're good. I'm tired of Jay. These are a smoothie. They're moving. What's gonna give you more genuine satisfaction?

A nice smoothie.

or a stupid movie.

Shh.

Thank you.

That question's groovy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Having a nice walk. What do you do if you went to space and there was a man there? Just a guy. Who's the spaceman? The spaceman.

It's like, what are you doing here? He's like, I've always been here.

Just hanging out.

I'd assume he's a demon.

Why would Nusen be an alien? Because aliens can't be real.

Thank you.

Why? Not mentioned in the Bible.

Okay.

Aliens can't find their way to earth dummies.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's the only flat planet you have to go to. Aliens have intercepted our number one astrophysicist talking about spectrum, and they refer to us as falions.

i think that's true i think they listen to me on the grass and they think this species is stupid they don't need to go to that they don't even know if they're boys or girls

Let's talk about stars.

Thank you.

Who else on the internet do I dislike?

Everyone's a lean to that. That's a door boss, bro. I don't watch anybody. I actually don't. I don't watch anything. Anybody. So what do you think about this person? They said this about you. I'm like, who?

Who I don't care.

I don't know who the people who talk about me are.

So in a way, I win.

Talk about me all fucking day.

So interesting about me.

Do you remember when I ruined the Star Trek movie when it was playing in jail? The Star Trek movie came on and you said, oh, I haven't seen this. And I said, no.

Don't worry, at the end, she uses the Beastie Boys to kill Idris Elba.

And you said, that can't be the ending of this movie. And then it was. And you laughed and said, it's shit.

Yeah, that was terrible. And they made Sulu gay for no reason. That was the second worst Star Wars, Star Trek movie behind your one.

I don't have a movie. You're going to have a movie.

- Yep. - You're suspecting.

You'll be grasped by yourself.

loserdom journey around the solar system.

We're going to make it come true. Someone's going to produce this movie now. It probably cost like $40 million. And that's not going to be a deodorant.

The weed did used to do that. Smelling is fun. Yeah, smelling is sensory input. Do you want to smell the derogar? No, thanks.

I'll save you some.

I'm going to sit and smell my cigarette.

I'm going to balance a cigarette on my upper lip.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm gonna insert cigarettes into my nostrils so every breath I take is smoking. Every breath you take!

Thank you.

Every move you make

Every single day, every time I pray.

I think I'm better at jail than you. Why? Don't know. I feel more at home here.

Maybe in a previous life I really was a criminal.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think the most illegal thing I've ever done is copy music CDs illegally when I was a teenager. Please copy music CDs, please.

Thank you.

Take him to jail. Are you telling on me? Police! To the internet. Police guards! I told on myself. Tristan Coppy music CDs.

Life in jail. I didn't even know. Life in jail. I lost 14. Yeah.

Admission of guilt on the internet.

Thank you.

Typical fucking you, isn't it? Typical fucking you.

What was that? I want next. Your girlfriend got a TikTok account. What was that stupid Irish band that sang that song? C'est la vie.

Stupid. Yeah, what was that band's name?

Stupid. I copied their music CD. Internet, if you could find that band of Irish girls that sings a song called C'est La Vie,

I copied that music when I was 14.

Yeah. Bewitched! Bewitched! Somebody find them and tell them I owe them 10 pounds.

I will pay them. They probably need it, mate. I copied their music CD. They probably need it. From my friend at school. You're a fucking criminal. That's the most illegal thing I've ever done. You're a criminal. It's disgusting. I can't share a cell with you. I'd rather share a cell with a murderer.

Maybe Bewitched aren't famous nowadays because the £10 they lost from me copying their music CD...

financially ruin them.

Thank you.

They were 10 pounds short of making their second album.

Thank you.

Who else has music CD-ed? Now that I'm confessing to crimes, who else has music CD-ed? Coffee.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jesus has forgiven me for my sins. But that's the only crime I've done.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Bye.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

Thank you.

You know about human traffic?

us

An organized criminal gang was formed to take us away from our families and kids and lock us up.

- Thank you.

We were human trafficked.

Agreed.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Give me the layer.

Thank you.

I might just stay in here forever. Think of all those cunts that, you know, Bailey, Rory, we just ignore them. Stay in jail permanently. Never talk to them for the rest of our lives.

How are they going to talk to me when I'm in jail and I refuse visitors?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm really sorry for Bewitched.

What I did was morally wrong, Andrew. You do owe them 10 pounds. Now I'm sitting here in jail. I feel like I deserve it because I copied their reasons here. You do need to send them 10 pounds to their bank accounts. Okay.

Why did you even have a CD to copy? Explain. A girl at school gave it to me and asked if I could make a copy of it for her friend.

You're a piece of shit. Yeah, I know. You're a fucking piece of shit. That's my criminal history. I didn't think there was anything that could stop whilst having a close brotherhood, but now I understand what you've been up to in your spare time. You're a piece of shit. I'm not, though. You are.

Un-fucking-believable.

You deserve all of this.

Give me a piece of paper. You deserve everything bad that happens to you for the rest of your life. Give me a piece of paper so I can do origami.

everything bad that happens to you throughout your life is fully deserved because of what you've done

- As I sit in jail, I try and wonder what I did to land myself here. - Copy the Witcher CD. - Yeah, I know.

Thank you.

I've got a black belt in origami, did you know that? Yes I do. I do.

I'm not lying. I have a black belt in origami and I sit here on the floor like the depressed loser I am and fold a paper crane.

Thank you.

Cool.

Thank you.

So that's what we do in jail.

I'm going to go.

Oh.

Thank you.

Are we gonna sleep or are we gonna stay a whole night, smoking cigarettes and sleep during the day?

but we used to.

Thank you.

See what happens.

There's a lot less screaming in this jail than a previous one.

through

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The greatest television series ever produced.

was picture.

Pink show is a great show.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You don't know how to block out morganmi.

Thank you.

You were unaware.

Okay.

You are unaware that my origami skills are frightening.

frighteningly good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If I fold a paper crane,

The internet has to worship me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Is there a flying here?

Thank you.

There's a flying J. A fascinating...

Thank you.

Nice! One shot kill. We were in jail, the insects couldn't escape me.

I couldn't cockroaches.

Thank you.

It's not origami if you have to rip the paper, mate. - Yes it is, 'cause you have to sort origami with a perfect square of paper.

A4 is not for origami.

Isn't it? No. It has to be a square.

So now, Internet, I have a square of paper.

I'm going to use this square.

fold of beautiful

paper swan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

because I am.

an origami black belt, as I said.

Unlike you, who by the way is an origami

loser.

You should call it fluorigami.

I am sitting on the floor.

And then you should sell it and call it

-Poor-agami? -Store-agami!

And then when someone can't afford it, you call it formality.

Okay.

and then you can write folk tales about it and call it loradi correct

And then you can shout out from the rooftops about how good you are and call it

Rorigami.

And you can do it in a private jet and call it sorigami.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay?

There's also a joke about horigami in there somewhere, but I don't want to be accused of being misogynist for making a joke.

Yeah, might end up in jail.

again.

Men are part of drugs and women. Straight to jail.

Right to jail, right away.

You didn't go to jail.

You are a loser. I am a loser.

What the fuck were you doing in jail?

My girlfriend had TikTok.

I go find a TikTok. Yeah.

Correct.

I don't think I know a girl who doesn't have TikTok.

Maybe everyone's human traffic. Maybe everyone's human trafficker. I mean everyone does have TikTok.

All the way.

Thank you.

Why do the people doing this to us have family members with TikTok?

Probably.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I liked your light bulb analogy on that Romanian TV interview. That was very good. It's true, stupid.

What's the best way to change a light bulb? Well, I'm a professional changing light bulbs. Here's how you change a light bulb.

go and change the light bulb. Forced labor,

You were nice to her. Loveboy method for slavery human trafficking. Yep.

That was a very good analogy, Andrew. It's ridiculous.

Thank you.

matrix type

Let me make

I just want you to shut up, Andrew.

I have shut up. What do you have? I have.

Have you? I'll stop telling everyone about your Star Trek movie.

Thank you.

That's not a real thing though. You made that up. I'm gonna make it real. We're gonna produce it. We are. You're a nice producer.

I'm Mr. Producer and I'm going to hire an animation team to animate a Star Trek series where you on the USS Spectrum travel around on a journey of lucidum through the solar system with Neil deGrasse Tyson. You go to Venus to do it in a penis, you go to Jupiter, you're stupid. Neil deGrasse Tyson tells you the whole time.

that a woman, man, won't be a woman, why do you care? Because that's science.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Okay?

Okay.

okay okay i look forward to see when that's when that is on our rumble channel fully produced

Will you admit that I made the movie?

I know.

I will admit it. I'm going to do it. You can't stop me. The only way to stop me is to kill me in this cell before they let me out.

Good luck sleeping.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It was a bit too thick for origami.

And excuses come didn't take fucking long did it mr. Fucking origami and I kind of excuses already what next?

What next, dickhead?

Come on.

What next? Cunt.

Wonder everyone fucking hates you universally despised. Nobody on this planet has ever said a good word about you ever.

Thank you.

And also that's true. There are millions of people writing all the time.

Oh by the way, while people are listening to us, if you ever send me a message that starts with day three of trying to get your attention, I want you to understand.

that

Thousands of people are doing that, and I will immediately walk in.

The only acknowledgement you might get is a block.

Thank you.

Day 26 of trying to tell the tellers man my shit business idea.

Shut up.

Thank you.

I wish you luck out there in the world.

Don't waste my time. I'm a businessman.

our whole business plans.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What a bewitched-wise suiting.

What would you do with Bewitched? We're waiting for you outside jail to beat you up.

Let's let them beat me up.

Like we get out of here. Okay. Three Irish ladies come up.

- They'd be old now, wouldn't they? - Yeah, they would. - Middle-aged Irish women. - Middle-aged Irish women who were very angry, stole 10 pounds of them back in 2001, and decided to beat the living shit out of you. And I agree with them, so I don't help you. What would you do?

How would you defend yourself? Well, if anyone attacked me, I guess I'd have to defend myself. I don't think I'd have to try very hard. Obviously you're going to lose. So what would you do when those three women destroy you? And I agree with them, so I don't help you.

"No, but what would you do if it happened?"

.

Give B-hop, I guess, by the Irishman.

Thank you.

Such a loser.

You would deserve that though.

Okay.

Thank you.

I have competently folded

a paper swan.

Can you admit

that I have a black belt in origami.

Just admit that you can't do that and I have a black belt in origami. Admit it to the fucking world! You doubted me!

You said, and I quote,

Tristan, you will never competently fold a paper swan ever.

End quote.

Andrew Tate, 2023, just before this live stream started. That's what you said. And here I stand triumphant.

in my achievement,

at folding a perfectly made paper swan. I want you to have this Andrew.

as a symbol of all the things you'll never achieve.

as a symbol.

to the nobody that you'll always be.

That is what happens.

when you try and become something in life.

The Matrix beats you down.

Yeah, let's set a fire. Fuck you, Swarm. Let's burn our way out of here.

Let's set the whole place on fire.

Fuck this song.

We really need, Tristan, hear me out. What if the swan is the first thing we explode with our new explosive? He's unburnable. Tristan, we need to mix hot water with instant coffee. It's never been done before. We create a super more powerful explosive than a nuclear bomb and blow our way out of here.

Koffenheimer.

Smart.

Super smart.

I think we should at least try it.

Thank you.

Poor swan.

All he wanted was

You took knowledge that I am the master of origami and you'll never ever

ever ever amount to anything nothing you've ever done in your life

tops the achievement.

of me making a paper swarm live to the internet.

Thank you.

How jealous are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

10.

"You must be furious. Sucks to be you, doesn't it? Little Mr. Andrew, sitting there with a piece of paper in his head, wishing it was a swan.

but unable to fold it into one because you're a bumbly-handed loser.

who can't competently fold paper.

Hmm.

I admit, if you can't do origami, you are a loser who can't fold it. You can't even fold a piece of paper in half. That's how shit you are. You couldn't fold a piece of A4 paper into two. That's how shit you are at origami. The single worst man that's ever existed at the ancient martial art of origami.

Fucking embarrassing.

How can I, the great Tristan Tate, origami legend of the internet and the world,

Have a brother like you.

You're right. That paper is coated in plastic. It stinks. You're right. I admit that I'm shit origami because I can't fold it. You can't even fold a piece of paper in half. I'm having a crisis, a life crisis. You can't fold one piece of paper in half. I can't make a stupid crane out of paper like you.

Yes, exactly. I'm a loser. Now, there you are.

I'm fully aware.

What am I going to do about this? Will you teach me how? No.

My origami knowledge cannot be passed on to losers like you.

you will never know how to do that.

ever

ever

ever.

You had one chance in life to watch me do it and to try to competently copy me.

and you failed.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You are officially Porigami.

I'm Porigami. You're right. I'm Porigami. I'm officially Porigami. Yeah, I know you are.

Thank you.

I'm devastated, Tristan.

Yeah, I bet.

It must hurt.

to be that big a loser.

Ah, Apocalba.

What's the mask?

Apicalda's arrived! Woo! So when Apicalda's here, do you want to talk about the Apicalda system while I prepare the Apicalda and the Pendant Chi? We'll talk about it.

I think we talked about apocolosis.

I think we can open the window, though.

And, J.O., we did have a small window to open. We did have a window to open. And that paper swan stinks. Yeah, that paper stinks like plastic in here because of your bullshit swan project.

Shit.

Since then you can't do it.

It's so bullshit, how come you can't do it?

Thank you.

Go on, explain the apical system, probably the towel.

When Apicala shows up, you have to get the towel first thing.

Andrew, do you want some of this? I'm an origami loser, and I can no longer talk.

I hate my life. So what you do is

When you get hot water,

or apicala, as we call it, in jail.

when you institutionalize like me, you take one bottle,

and you wrap it in a towel.

To maintain the heat,

.

Thank you.

The heat of the apocalder needs to be maintained.

So you wrap it up in a tally, and that way you have apocalda for later.

Thank you.

Thank you.

One.

I'll just put this in here, so I'll just put it in the Bible.

And then we have an apicaldon to use.

So I'm gonna make tea and instant noodles.

- Tea and ramen. - Exactly.

That's what we did, didn't we? We got avocado. We made instant noodles. Exactly. It is what we did, isn't it? It's all coming back to me.

I'd love some noodles. I want some noodles.

Well, we haven't got bowls, we forgot, so we have to make them in these cups. Nice.

Cup of noodles.

This is going to melt with the whole water.

No, no, no, I think cups are okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

You've got one bottle wrapped, you've got two hours more where that water stays hot. Yeah, you wrap it in a towel, you've got two hours.

Noodles and a cob.

It tastes so good to eat.

the tasty prison trees. I make my noodles with hot water and they taste so great. I'm in jail for no reason.

Because I'm Tristan, Dave.

Oh, Jesus. They sent us to jail.

Woo!

Okay.

so

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Noodles in a cup. I eat them in my cell.

Thank you.

Noodles in a cup. Goes down very well.

And it's just going to melt the cup. Noodles in a cup.

Thank you.

you

This bottle is fucking hot.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is going to melt the...

Okay.

It's gonna melt the cup unless you stay noodles in a cup.

Noodles in the cup.

You can double up the cups, bro. Then when the first cup melts into plasticky goodness, we can just ingest the plastic toxins. We have paper cups for tea. We ingest the plastic toxins to add to our powers. Men of...

cybernet cybernetic organisms okay

The whole cup's collapsing.

We're gonna destroy ourselves.

The cup is melting. I told you it would.

Shit.

Fuck. Why don't we have bowls? In jail we had a bowl. I know, but we forgot them.

There's able.

here.

because they've got tea bags in it but this bowl wouldn't be allowed in there because it's made up of something you can break

I'll use the bowl first. Ah, bowl hog, eh? Yeah. Always had you down as a bowl hog.

Never had you down as much else to be honest. All these years I've known ya. I was the only man who could competently do origami here. I knew there was something suspicious about you all these years. I didn't know it was because you were a fucking bullhugger. I'm a music CD copying bullhugger. That's right. You're a music CD copying bullhugger and you owe Bewitched ten pounds. Can someone let the internet know that Tristan owes Bewitched ten pounds? Okay.

wait till that goes viral you're fucked me I can't wait till those three old Irish ladies kick the living fuck out of you so you deserve

It's not, it is.

I'm not a bad person. You are a bad person. I can't wait to get the shit kicked out of you. They're not going to get to shout at me. Noodles in the car. I think they're going to forgive me.

and they find out what I've done. I don't think they're going to forgive you.

And they find out all that I've done. They're never going to give it. I think I won it.

I don't think they're ever going to forgive you for what you do.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't understand how young and stupid.

Living a life of crime. Everyone makes mistakes.

Thank you.

It is so fucking haunt here.

I realized something.

The other day when we sentenced Rory to two and a half hours in jail and made him stay in here,

Technically, have we actually human trafficked someone now?

Yeah.

Take us to jail.

because

Thanks for having me.

oh

Thank you.

You can't make noodles in a cup because the cup melts. You can't. Because you're not man enough. I'm going to double my cups up. You're just going to melt the cup around the other cup. I don't live in fucking fear like some USS Spectrum Jupiter piece of shit with his little fucking first mate.

Happy homo.

You're definitely going to ruin the cops.

Oh no, don't ruin the plastic cups. What are we going to do? We should ask the prison guards for another bowl. We're allowed bowls. We had bowls in jail. It was an oversight by those who said, "Look, then I have to make a whole new song."

Do you think I have time to just invent these songs off the top of my head with all the fucking brilliance that goes into them? Please bring us a bowl.

We're allowed bowls. It was an oversight.

Noodles in a cup.

Stop doing that. You're not going to successfully make noodles. You don't go in a bowl.

Noodle, see, no bowl, prison guard said. Noodles and a cup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Never gets old. Don't go in a bowl. Or I was in a bowl. Bowl old.

Soul noodles in a cup good for your soul good for your soul noodles in a cup never in a bowl noodles in a cup Tristan can get fucked and

"Fuck" kind of rhymes with "cop".

Noodle and the cop just gonna get fucked.

That's why he doesn't get noodles in a cup. It doesn't work. He said noodles in a cup too many times. I have to work on it, but we're going to get there. We are. We are. It's going to be the new intro to emergency meetings. Noodles in a cup. Noodles in a cup.

There we go for the soul.

Noodles in a cup. Don't eat them from a bowl.

Noodles in the cup.

Thank you.

You are so jealous. You're a monumental failure in all aspects of your life.

You can't fold a paper crane. You're in jail, man. You can't give anyone life advice. You're in jail. At least I'm eating mood rules from a cup like I fucking promised myself. At least I go back on my own word. Like a fucking coward. I'm a man of my word.

What the fuck have you ever achieved?

Your little bowl fucking girl in gonna tutu princess and

Thank you.

Enough of you in your shit.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are we actually staying here 24 hours? We're sitting here 92 days.

or not?

Noodles in a cup.

I wonder what they were- I'm a bit jealous.

Just a tiny 1%. Be honest. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with God. Everyone's watching. Your ancestors are watching you.

Now is your chance to be honest to your ancestors and admit that a part of you, no matter how small, is a little bit jealous of what I've achieved.

I'm angry that I didn't pull it off.

Of course.

Of course you fucking are. That was your chance to be a somebody. You could have been a someone. You could have mattered.

Your name could have been worth something. They said you fucked it all up for what, a bowl?

Cut.

I wonder what people expected in watching this live stream.

I think they expected us to basically be streaming, talking to them and

This is jail. This is all we did in jail.

The authentic jail experience. You have to turn your brain off and become a retard, otherwise you can't survive.

It's a very low input environment, so you need to make sure that your brain waves operate the lowest possible frequency.

So sing stupid songs.

So you can get maximum entertainment from nothing. You can get maximum entertainment from nothing. I feel very happy. I'd actually say, I want to say it right now.

I feel very happy deep inside.

move in the outside world,

I need a beautiful girl, a sports car, cigar, millions of dollars, nice suit, etc. to feel happy. But now I feel deeply happy inside with noodles in the cup because you failed.

Thank you.

I feel great.

Watching you fail so monumentally, like the piece of shit you are,

Princess Bullboy.

"Watching you be Princess Bulboy while I succeed,

Beautiful.

You may have popped the hole.

I've done something you could not do.

'cause I'm a winner.

And what's the opposite of a winner, Tristan?

a loser.

Thank you.

Thank you.

T?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't mind if I do. Usually if I'm involved,

Loser.

you're never going to financially recover from this.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I guess all the super chat money is going to take, Ledge.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I bet no one's watching us.

I bet we're doing this for no reason.

See?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Something about the cup gives them flavor.

I don't think that's true. I think you made that up. A clear plastic cup does not have flavor. It does, because when the plastic melts, all the fumes and chemicals get into the noodles.

That's why I'm the bionic man. I'm your little princess ball boy.

you

Thank you.

Captain Plastic.

Thank you.

I'm a bionic human now, I'm a cybernetic organism, and you're a princess.

That's because of how you made your noodles.

What do you have to say about that?

I'm going to share.

Bet you do deep down in your heart in your soul. I think it's hard to deflect because you're deeply insecure about the orgami incident. I

Thank you.

I'm trying to claim some victory with your little cup because you couldn't fold a piece of paper in half. I folded a cup around my noodles and absorbed the chemicals. You can't do that.

Princess.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Neil deGrasse Tristan.

A pole is a spectrum.

I want you to know that everybody hates you. Nobody's ever liked you, especially not me. It's all about a psyopsis at the beginning of time. Everybody has always been against you. And I've only pretended to be your brother all these years in this exact moment. I've been waiting 35 years in the exact moment when we pretended to be in jail so I could reveal to you the master plan of the world.

You've been the subject of a Truman Show style experiment where we create the biggest loser on earth. And you have passed the test flawlessly. The final test, the chance you redeem yourself, was you to make noodles in a fucking cup. How hard can it be to make noodles in a fucking cup? You just put noodles in a cup, put water in a fucking cup, and you fucked it up. And pussy it out and became Princess Bow Boy. And the whole fucking world knows it. Nobody's going to ever forget. When they see you on the street, it's what they're going to call you. Hey, Tristan, you ever been to fucking Jupiter? Do you have a bowl? You're never going to live this down, ever.

you finally fucking kill yourself.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Four ducks are in a pond in the forest.

Thank you.

Hunter comes in.

Thank you.

and a cup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

It's a simple pleasure in life, isn't it?

- All right, so have a tea.

Thank you.

Thank you.

or Julius.

Admit you can't make tea.

Thank you.

Would you like one? I'll make you one. Would you like one? Here you go, man. Here's a nice cover take.

There's no trick.

I hate you, because I'm your friend. Want to redeem yourself for the bold incident? No, no.

No, I think you're retarded and you're losing your mind.

in jail. You've lost your mind.

Remember when we used to open the Quran to a random verse and find joy and truth? Yeah, we'll do that again.

the random verse, but you don't even do it once a day because you didn't want to

Didn't know how long we'd be in there.

Didn't want to use all the verses.

I don't mind being there forever.

Let's open the Quran on a random page.

And it was always something inspiring.

Thank you.

noodles and a cup.

Okay.

Thank you.

Nice cup of tea.

Thank you.

Ah.

so

Thank you.

No.

Remember the time you fucked up the shop and you didn't order enough Walter, but we got loads of hot sauce instead?

Thank you.

At least one of us has our priority. It's great. I hope sauce is not more important than water.

It is. I think you made that up.

Thank you.

Where do I think I am? Almost opened a new pack of cigarettes, so I'm going to have to smoke a cigarette here.

Remember the blue bin bags?

That pissed me off. You actually have mental problems.

Oh.

Thank you.

I think you have depression.

Thank you.

Are you listening?

Thank you.

Ah, ramen noodles, slightly crunchy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

from a cop.

Thank you.

To each his own, mate.

I'm not gonna stick by your bold decision. You see potato, I say potato. I can't wait to bewitch to kick the living fuck out of you. Potato potato, let's call the whole thing off. It's gonna be a massacre.

What other legal things have I actually done? I'll confess my crimes to the internet. No, trust me. It's going to be a massacre.

Those three old Irish ladies are going to beat the shit out of you. You don't stand a chance.

You don't stand a fucking chance. Why did I copy that CD?

Thank you.

I'm on the floor. Stop, stop.

They'll be doing Irish dancing, river dance on my clothes. You know, I'll be saying. Uh-oh! Because you're going to beat up so bad? Like, uh-oh?

I get it.

and then the Irish dance on your head.

Can you admit that the sugar babes beat you up? - Can you admit that,

Girls Aloud beat you up?

Can you admit?

Thank you.

The Eagle Bein Alp by Yunus Churchill.

Can you read that atomic kit and beat you up?

Can you make that baby spice beat you up?

Who did it fight? You or Bob Ross? Bob Ross. Bob Ross was a G.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

What do you call a man with no friends who eats his noodles out of a bowl?

Tristan.

Thank you.

*coughs*

What do you call the biggest loser in jail?

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sigh*

Thank you.

What do you call a man who put ash on his t-shirt and burned himself while laying in jail smoking a cigarette?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ah, the plastic chemicals are starting to kill you.

Thank you.

From your noodles in a cup fiasco. I do feel a bit sick in my stomach from eating the plasticky noodles. I'm not going to lie.

Good. I think the plastic melted the cup.

the hot water, the boiling water melt of the cup.

And all the plasticky noodles I ingested are now back to punish me.

So you failed in life.

I do feel awful.

are spoonfuls of coffee and then plastic.

fumes or plastic chemicals. Is that bad for you? It's a good jail diet, mate.

maintains you.

during the long cold nights of jail.

Does it?

I remember I had a cough for two months when I first got to jail because it was freezing cold.

and I would try not to cough in court and fail.

Going to sleep.

Court in the morning.

you

They might release us.

Good night, loser.

Can't turn the lights off just like real jail.

Okay.

There was a system where we could put a t-shirt in front of the light bulb.

That kind of worked.

Well, then you're so fucking smart.

Not here. You can do it there. Fuck you.

as the biggest winner in this jail cell and the origami black belt champion of the world i want to tell you that you are a shit person

Agreed.

Everything about you.

Andrew, I might stop talking to you because I think you're a misogynist and I think that you shouldn't be telling young men to go to the gym because it's dangerous and it comes from the side of misogyny.

Shit.

We got you in a cigar. Fuck. I told you this. You worked it out. Journalistic genius. I have a nice car and I smoke a cigar. Worst man in the world. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah.

comes with a side of misogyny. That comes with a side of misogyny. Thanks, lesbian.

Thank you.

Did you see that police woman? Who got called lesbian by a 16 year old autistic girl and they bundled her with eight police officers and manhandled her into the back of a car. Failed society bro. Failed society.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why are you in jail?

because I said a police woman looks like a lesbian.

here's what I think they should do

ask her if she actually is because if she is one

then fuck off. You know what I mean?

Thank you.

I'm even told I look like a man.

Neil deGrasse Tyson would disagree.

could you do

Thank you.

10 star jumps. If I wanted to, yeah.

Go on then. No.

I can't.

Why'd you say you could if you can't? Because I can't. I don't have any legs.

I don't have any legs either. I don't even have a face. My legs are fake, and they always have been.

That's why I'm six foot four, because I got to choose my own prosthetic leg size.

You know, my arms are fake.

My brain...

doesn't exist. My real brain was taken out when I was three years old and replaced with Jell-O.

Thank you.

So why you're such a funny fellow.

That's why you're gel.

Is that why you can play the cello?

That's why your voice is loud.

has allowed Bellow

So while we're in a solo,

Is that why you say hello?

Thank you.

Why have we put ourselves in jail?

Thank you.

What rhymes with chair?

Hair? Wrong!

Typical answer from a loser, wrong.

What rhymes with bed?

Thank you.

Nothing wrong.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Rhymes with jail

Thank you.

Thank you.

Have you ever been to Planet?

Thank you.

Planet Fitness. Obviously not.

Can you admit that your favorite food is Chuck E. Cheese pizza?

Well,

Thank you.

If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

I think he'd be a worm.

Why?

because you're pathetic.

They're contemptible.

You're worm-like.

If you were an animal, I think you'd be a chicken.

Why?

Because you're chicken. Because you're scared of everything.

Thank you.

Why is everyone crying in jail?

because it's depressing.

I didn't cry in jail.

Frankly, I quite enjoyed jail.

What did you enjoy about it?

Cigarettes?

Okay.

noodles in a bowl.

Noodles in a bowl? Dumb cunt. Andrew, in jail we ate noodles from bowls.

But things have changed. Now noodles go in cups.

No, they don't. They do. I don't feel like that's something. Then how the fuck is there a song about it if it's not real?

I don't feel like that's the consensus of the earth. I think that's something you just made up.

And I'm never gonna eat again.

Noodle and boldness have no taste.

It's not easy to pretend.

Tristan is a fool.

Should've known better than to call a friend.

Cause he can't make doodles in a cup. My song doesn't have to rhyme.

Because you are a door.

I feel like we brought the word dork back.

From now on, I sing songs at you that don't rhyme.

from now on,

I speak only in beeps.

How will I understand you? Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Thank you.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Yeah.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Beep, beep, beep.

Thank you.

Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, beep.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep.

I said I want to go to Italy and drive my supercar around the Almaty coast. You didn't understand me though, did you? Because you're a fucking idiot.

I talk only in yarns.

Thank you.

I've got a really good business idea.

Are you listening?

Go business idea where I can make millions.

Thank you.

You listening.

What I do is I take out insurance

against you, and then I push you off of a bridge.

Did you hear me?

I could become rich beyond my wildest dreams.

How high is the bridge?

six feet, but you're weak so you die.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can you admit that my hands are made of solid gold?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why is a fireman called a fireman?

Because he puts out fires.

So why are police not called crime men?

Why are doctors not called sick men? Why are ice cream men not called ice cream men?

A man is dying in his bed, and his two sons... are by his side.

And the man says, I leave all of my wealth.

to whichever one of my sons has the slowest horse.

They race horses a hundred times, but no man

wants to win the race, so their horses just stand there.

They go and consult.

uh

wise man in the village.

about how to deal with this

threat has to do with this situation.

And on their way home, they're both riding as fast as they can.

What advice did the wise man give them?

Make your noodles in a cup.

This blanket is soundproof and I no longer hear you.

Thank you.

And I'm never gonna- No! No! Please! No! Shut up! Come on! Shut up! No! Please! Please! 10 out of 10 for accuracy.

Sounds about right. Someone's getting their ass kicked. Yeah, that did happen quite often in jail.

Remember when you got your ass kicked?

I wonder what he's getting his ass kicked for.

refusing to listen. That's the thing about jail. People are always getting their ass kicked, but I don't understand the point of fighting the guards because you're not going to get out of jail. So you just get your ass kicked and stay in jail. Yeah. The guards did beat people up.

within the legal ramifications of what they're allowed to i imagine

But people did try to fight the guards, yeah. Why?

I don't know, fun.

Imagine you're never getting out.

Is that what you're going to sound like when Bewitched beat the living fuck out of you?

Honestly.

And I'm never going to jail again.

Tristan makes noodles in a bowl, and he has only got one friend.

Who thinks gender is a spectrum?

They're right around the solar system in a ship.

It goes to Venus, he has no penis. This is gonna become a viral hit. I'll produce it for you too.

YouTube. YouTube shit. Say rumble.

So,

interrupt my fucking fuck off again

Sick of this jail cell.

Thank you.

Sick of this jail cell, sick of you.

Old McJail had a farm, E-I-E-I-O, and in that jail was Tristan Tate, E-I-E-I-O, with a bowl, bowl here and a bowl, bowl there, bowl here, bowl there, scare of noodles in a cup.

Old MacJail had a farm.

Tristan is a nerd.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm replacing my brain with Jell-O.

Thank you.

Did you hear me?

Thank you.

I'd give my all to have my noodles in a cup. I'd give my life.

to feel

Plastic in my food and I can't go on.

eating my noodles from a bowl i give my all for noodles

in a cup i'm gonna make another noodles in a cup right now in your face you won't do a thing about it i dare you you're gonna see it smoke cups i don't care what you do

You're uninteresting and unfunny. Try me! Had enough of you and your bullshit in this jail! Do something about it! We can both die tonight!

What about melon holes in all the cups?

Thank you.

*thud*

you

*lots of laughter*

You're in jail every month. Does this mean every house you buy, anytime in the future, anywhere, has to have a jail limit?

Is that the case?

I bet no one glossed for you. You're basically uninteresting.

"From Russia with Love" is the best book ever written.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And I, I.

Have noodles in a cup. Woo!

You are such a fucking monumental loser. I don't know how you fucking sleep at night.

Probably under your little spaceship. You got a nice little comfy bed under your little princess spaceship with your bowls. You and Neil.

Well,

Got myself a comfy bed. You got a little blankie.

Big hands.

Thank you.

Blankets are a spectrum. Fuck you.

and your crew who's on your crew you neil degrasse tyson

fucking

you

Meh.

All your mates.

Tristan's shit.

Your friends are not sharing. Your friends are not sharing. You invite him to the house.

Thank you.

You invited him to this house. That means he is your friend.

He was your best. He's your man.

I don't know him.

Thank you.

Bye.

Okay.

I hope he knows that his new documentary is going to be filled. It's going to completely fade. Who the fuck's going to watch his new documentary? Matt Shea and the BBC. What, the Batty Boy Corporation?

And now...

You say you want me. Well, just to prove you do.

You need to make noodles in a cup. No, you shouldn't have done that. You should have been. So why don't you make me some noodles?

Make me some noodles.

Yeah, then how's the end? See? It's complicated, these songs. They're not just easy. You can't just start making them up on the top of your head and just singing random shit.

I thought I felt bad from the plasticky fumes, but really I was becoming a cybernetic organism.

And now that my stomach feels a little bit better, I need more plastic to become more cybernetic. So that I, when the machines come, I'll be the only one who can fight against them because I'll be half machine, half man.

Like a Terminator. Cue!

Do you understand?

Did you hear me sneeze? You didn't say bless you. I guarantee the bowl is not made you a cybernetic. You didn't say bless you when I sneezed.

How dare you?

Thank you.

How dare you not say bless you when I sneezed?

Mmm.

I can hear they're crunchy I can hear the crunch and so can everyone watching

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm a ramen king.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*whistling*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crickets*

Let's talk about all the things we're going to do when we get out of jail.

When I get out of jail, I'm going to buy an Aston Martin DB6. I'm going to drive around.

Florence, Italy in my DB6. When I go out of jail, I'm going to go back to jail.

Well, that's what we fucking did, isn't it?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When I got out of jail,

I'm going to.

go to Switzerland and buy an obnoxiously large diamond for no reason.

When I get out of jail,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can feel it in my bones.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm Terminator.

Thank you.

the real plot twist is that if I don't eat these noodles and become a cybernetic organism, I'm not going to be able to stop USS spectrum when it tries to attack the flat earth.

The plot's unfolding.

So the beginning of this jail stint, we've learned that the Earth is flat, that you're going to be on the USS Spectrum, and Neil deGrasse Tyson going to Venus because you have no penis. And you're eventually going to attack the flat Earth. And it's going to take a cybernet organism to defeat you, which is me, because I had noodles from a cup. And you can't beat me because you don't have the powers because you're eating noodles from a bowl.

Thank you.

Do not make that TV show. Oh, I'm going to make it. We're going to make it. We're going to animate all of it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I travelled through time once. Did you know that there is a time portal hidden in Bucharest?

where you can go into it, hear me out, and just pass long periods of time and teleport yourself

into the future.

as the same person.

but older.

It's called jail.

You go in there, OK?

and you're 34 years old, and you pass through time,

while inside jail using your aikido you can open up the time portal and for every day you spend in jail listen

You can come out.

later, but one day older than you were before.

Good system, isn't it?

Are you listening?

I passed 92 delightful days doing that.

I didn't have 92 days of my life stolen from me, away from my children and my family. Now, that didn't happen. I was voluntarily...

meditating.

for 90, by 92 days. So when I came out, I was older.

You know like when you put whiskey in a barrel and you age it, yeah? And you take the whiskey out and it's older. That's what happens when I go to jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Big Talk, can't finish his noodles.

My stomach has to adjust to plastic. - How are you ever going to become a silicone based life form?

with

uh computer brain powered by silicone chips if you don't ingest enough plastic i am i just have to do it slowly because my weak biological form cannot control cannot handle all the chemicals at once so i have to do it slowly as i transform into a cybernetic organism

Thank you.

You know what I think?

Thank you.

I think that I...

I'm not human at all.

I think that I am a bird.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Matrix tech.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why are you a bird? I just think I might be a bird, you know? I feel like species is on a spectrum.

Thank you.

And last time I checked, I read somewhere, somewhere.

that in this country we had the pursuit of happiness.

Why?

is it so important that you

don't accept

me

Seeing species

on a spectrum.

Well?

That's right, I'm a fucking bird.

Get with the program.

I'm a fly.

Thank you.

You might be a fly. I'm a fly with the body of a human, but I'm a really special, unique case because I also have the head of a human.

Mm.

Okay.

That's interesting.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've got a car outside, right? It's a Bugatti, right?

with the body,

of a lot of

and the engine in the wheels.

of a lot of

But it was a Bugatti originally. I just changed the parts.

tomorrow.

Super smart.

So it's a bigetti. No one could say it isn't.

But it's just got the body of a larder.

For fuck's sake.

He got ya. No way. He got ya. This was the song that I was listening to at New Year's Eve. Bro, at New Year's Eve. As the clock struck 12.

I was in this part of the jail. I didn't hear it.

This was the most depressing moment of my life. This was my exact New Year's Eve, right?

We didn't even have any cigarettes yet on New Year's Eve. They got ya.

Thank you.

Happy New Year, Andrew.

Happy New Year.

Oh, it was the most depressing New Year's Eve ever. It was that song playing down the hall. Whoa, what do you mean? It's perfectly fine to look as Joe.

That was the worst. Now I'm genuinely upset in my heart and soul.

I'm genuinely upset. Any more plastic, any more chemicals. Maybe you should kill yourself.

I can't kill myself. I'm a cybernetic organism. I can not self-terminate.

but in jail to make it authentic because you know people try to kill themselves in jail

One of us should attempt suicide.

Thank you.

I can myself terminate. Yeah, I would never kill myself.

Just like Jeffrey Epstein.

I'm thinking of changing my name.

Thank you.

Fernand

Mondego.

Thank you.

I think that's a good name.

Are you listening? No, I'm deeply upset because I've just heard that song. That song brings back the worst memories ever. Good. Why don't you cut yourself?

What should I comp myself with? I don't know. Take a piece of the bed, turn it into a shank.

I'm going to make a shank and stab you.

- Yeah.

We are in jail. I'm going to make a shank out of this.

Thank you.

No, Tristan.

I said, hey, aha, hey.

Yes?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well? I want to apologize to you.

for a while.

- You're not for making fun of you.

for eating your noodles from a bowl. - Why? Because you feel sick now.

Nothing to do with it.

I'm also sorry for saying that you are going to be a spaceship

Take Neil deGrasse Tyson as your second in command. Travel the solar system on a bruiser tour. Visit Venus because you have no Venus. And visit Jupiter because you're stupid. I accept your apology. I'm sorry for this.

Thank you.

Sorry for everything I've ever done.

I feel reflected now that I've been tortured with that song. And I need to go back and repent for all the bad things I said. I'm sorry that I once copied Bewitched's music CD. I'm sorry that I told the world that

Not told the world. I'm sorry that I told you that the entire world is fake and it's just one big version of the Trudon Show designed to watch you so that we can eventually determine the fact that you're a loser because you ate your noodles from a bowl after 35 years of observation. I thought you made that up. That didn't sound accurate. I made it up.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I apologize to you too.

Sorry for wasting your time with my fake duck story. There was no joke there.

I'm sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the world.

by demonstrating your lack of origami prowess.

Mm-hmm.

I am sorry that I landed us in this mess and got us in jail by copying the music CD of Bewitched when I was 14 years old.

21 years ago.

I'm sorry for that as well.

I'm also extremely sorry.

that

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

poisoned yourself with noodles.

from a plastic cup. It was my idea to use those cups. And if you die from plastic poisoning, I am responsible.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sorry for this.

I'm sorry.

I think I might be Japanese.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know?

Thank you.

I think I might be.

Japanese.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There's a hero.

If you look inside yourself,

Thank you.

Oh, there isn't.

Thank you.

Our jail friends are still in jail, Andrew.

or Swindra.

You're in jail. How long has this been going on?

How long has jail been going on?

while your friends and their fancy persuasions

I'll tell you to eat from a bowl.

But they are only lying, and you just do as you're told.

Noodles taste much better from a cup, no matter what they say.

And if it makes me

Eventually throw up.

I'll do it again anyway. Bye.

It's just been going on. I'm going to sleep.

Thank you.

No sleeping until I make you have no head.

I admit it.

Say it. I admit that you have no head.

Gotcha. Finally. I gotcha because it was a trick because I do have a head and you fell for it. Shit.

Finally fucking dumbass. No one knows you're fucking stupid and gullible. What next vaccine?

I'm getting vaccinated tomorrow.

I'm scared of COVID, I want the vaccine.

I want the vaccine.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're going to lay back down and become more cybernag and I can eat some more.

Oh.

Plasticky noodles.

My weak biological form is resisting cybernetic transformation.

Ah.

I must fight against it with my Aikido.

I'm the Count of Monte Gristo.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

All right.

Tristan.

Thank you.

This is a voice inside your head.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Tristan?

This is your ancestor speaking from the spirit realm.

Thank you.

We're disappointed in you.

What's funny? Nothing. The voices on my head tell me something. What'd they tell you? My ancestors are disappointed.

Why would your ancestors tell you that? Don't know. My brother's a loser.

They must be disappointed in you. No, I think they're disappointed in me.

because of the way you turned out.

Interesting.

Admit that you're a skateboard.

That's it. It's admit you're a skateboard. How could I possibly be a skateboard?

Scapeboards have four wheels, yeah.

you have two hands and two feet.

Skateboards are for losers. You are a loser.

Did you hear me?

Okay.

Can you admit that you are

a mattress.

Can you admit that if you were any food item in the world, you'd be a sandwich?

Why?

Because you're...

full of shit.

You'd be a shit sandwich.

Tristan.

I might stay in jail forever. I might never leave.

Responsibilities. Work. Kids. Family. I might just set myself on fire. Really? Yeah. Where do you get that idea from? I don't know. Voices in my head.

why would they want you to set yourself on fire because i'm stupid and ugly you're stupid and ugly this picks my brain set yourself on fire the world will be a better place when you're gone

I think the world would be a better place if I was going under.

I'll say that.

That's a horrible thing to say.

The world wants you gone.

Nobody will miss you. Andrew.

This is the poison cidery.

I'm going to sleep.

Good night.

Thank you.

Fuck off.

Thank you.

Tristan.

You belong in jail. I'm a bird.

Tristan, everybody's waiting for you to set yourself on fire.

If you don't do it, you're going to disappoint millions of people.

Okay.

Tristan, don't disappoint the world.

We're waiting for you in the spirit world. Mm-hmm.

Tristan.

You have no friends.

Everyone talks about you behind your back.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

There's very long, detailed conversations about how they hate you.

Nobody loves you, Tristan. Yeah, I know. It's cool. It's fine. It's fine. What's fine? What are you talking about?

Everything's fine.

Nobody loves me.

It's fine. Why are you saying that? Because it's just true. How'd you find that out? Because

I just realized it.

Tristan.

Don't tell Andrew what I'm telling you.

Otherwise,

He'll know that you can speak to the ancestors.

Andrew, the ancestors told me not to tell you I can speak to him.

Can you talk to them?

What do they say? They said you're a loser.

Andrew's gonna lose her.

Thank you.

Ancestors are wrong.

Thank you.

Have you ever considered setting yourself on fire?

Yeah.

There's pros and cons.

Let's go through them. Cons,

Burns. Pros. Nice and warm.

Nice and warm.

Cons.

Probably going to die. Pros.

I'm in jail anyway.

Won't have to do any more jail.

I can't really think of any more cons. There's probably only two cons, but there's loads of pros.

It'll be interesting to watch. It'll look cool. It'll look great.

Think of how good it will look as an Instagram picture. I'll do it tomorrow morning. Good night.

Do you promise you'll set yourself on fire tomorrow? Sure.

Promise, Tristan. Yeah. Don't let me down.

Say, I promise. I promise.

Tristan.

Everybody draws pictures of you.

And they make slogans.

that insult you.

They pretend to be nice to your face and then they go home and draw cartoons.

that insult you.

Every person on earth has cartoons all over their walls.

walls.

about how much they dislike you and how happy they'll be when you set yourself on fire.

Tristan, eat a spoon of coffee.

Do it.

Eat a spoon of coffee, be a man.

Your ancestors will not be disappointed in you anymore.

If you eat coffee like a hero.

If you go to sleep, you're a little princess gay boy.

Good night.

Okay.

I wish I had an accordion.

Same. That I could just play. No, a harmonica.

I could play the jail harmonica.

I wish I knew the recipe for cherry soda.

Thank you.

Because then I could manufacture it and sell it and make money.

Thank you.

Maybe I should whistle all night.

Good.

Enjoy.

*sad music*

*whistling*

oh

*crickets*

*whistling*

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

You're queer.

Why? It was quick, wasn't it? Okay.

*Loud sound*

*whistling*

Oh, baby.

*Police sounds*

*crickets*

Thank you.

*whistling*

Ah!

Yeah.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

I've got some mail here, a few letters.

Thank you.

Let's read them out. First one.

Thank you.

Would you rather put yourself in jail or play Smash Brothers? Well, I'd obviously rather play Smash Brothers because jail sucks. My jailmate is Princess Ball Boy.

"Dear Andrew, today I made noodles in a cup with sparkling water. It was terrible, but it felt super G."

I will not let my noodles be cooked by flat war.

Fuck the Matrix. Moon Landing was a hoax.

Okay.

I've yet to try my Sparkle more, but

Thank you.

Now I have a new objective to complete in my life. This one's long. To the one and only, the best, the strongest, the smartest, the best looking, Andrew, a.k.a. King Cobra Tate, a.k.a. Top G.

and his likewise amazing brother, Talisman, AKA,

bold princess gaylord USS

spectrum

loser tour of the solar system.

That's not what it says, is it? Yes, it does.

The confinement of a cell does not limit your reach and power over all realms.

Andrew, Tristan's confinement in a cell.

massively restricts him because he is princess boba now don't get too comfortable

every hour of energy

is important.

A thousand push-ups, sit-ups, squats, burpees, mountain climbs, tuck jumps, star jumps, jumping squats, jabs, crosses, hooks, uppercuts. This is from Amir.

He wants us to do a thousand push-ups, sit-ups, squats, burpees, mountain climbers, tuck jumps, star jumps, jumping squats, jabs, crosses, hooks, uppercuts, front kicks, low kicks, middle kicks, head kicks, side kicks, hook kicks, axe kicks, spinning back kicks, spinning hook kicks.

Job in News.

Show me front kicks.

Spinning roundhouse kicks, jumping side kicks, jumping hook kicks, jumping spinning back kick, jumping spinning hook kicks, jumping back fist, back fist, overhand right.

And then we can meditate.

And

visualize our victory in all realms.

from coaching here. Or we can stay in jail.

This is what he wants us to do each day in jail.

All right, we'll do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will do a thousand pushups because I did a thousand pushups each day in jail. So I will do a thousand pushups tomorrow during the day.

What's this? I'm not sure about the rest of this.

What's this? Good to know that Master Amir is thinking about us. What's this?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Pendulums will draw a stream.

Mm-hmm.

"Why ingest any more plastic?"

Eat the cup.

I'll give you four cigarettes if you eat the cup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can't wait for Buh to keep the fuck out of here, bro.

It's going to be sick. Great.

I had to pay for my crimes anyway.

Thank you.

*throws*

*clap*

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*poof*

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to do a thousand push-ups tomorrow.

during the afternoon. No one likes you.

because that takes the afternoon away. Otherwise, afternoon will be really hard. Andrew, nobody likes you.

Did you hear me?

I don't like you. No one watching likes you.

Nobody.

Good night.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*

Thank you.

*clap*

*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*

you

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

Thank you.

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

*clap*

you

*clap*

you

*clap*

*clap*

Thank you.

you

*crash*

*puff*

Thank you.

*clap*

Okay.

*clap*

*thud*

Thank you.

*claps*

*knocking*

*knocking*

*punch *

*clap clap

*pounding*

Okay.

*laughs*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Tristan.

Thank you.

Amen.

This is your subconscious.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Andrew is going to throw you a light turn.

Set yourself on fire.

Thank you.

Thank

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Shhh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Pfff.

Yes.

Thank you.

Tristan, there's a lighter next to you.

tomorrow.

Set yourself on fire right now. Tomorrow night.

Thank you.

Tomorrow what?

set myself on fire. Why did you decide to do that?

I'm going.

Thank you.

What gave you that idea, buddy?

Thank you.

Thank you.

*snaps*

All right.

Thank

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, hey.

Holding back the years.

You do do.

Thank you.

uh

- Stop whistling, please. - Ah, stop whistling now. Ha ha. - Yeah, you win. - Finally, I get a counter attack against your insanity. - You win.

I win, don't I? Yes. Which means you do what? Lose. Lose. What do losers typically do?

"love to do."

So.

Correct.

Princess Ballboy, have a nice little fucking nap.

We'll see.

What next?

First, it starts off at NAPS, they're in gay clubs.

I'm a big, strong man.

We just have a nap.

I'm going to sleep for the night. Yeah.

Going to sleep is effectively just a long nap.

Starts off with naps, those gay clubs, gay bondage.

till it all starts, naps.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I've never known a superhero. I was busy taking naps. So sorry, I was just a little bit tired. My eyes were hurty-hurty, so I closed them.

after eating your noodles from a bowl.

You're nothing but fuck up.

Whole life's a fuck up.

You're a testament to failure. God only created you to show the world how to fail. Look up failure in a dictionary. It's a picture of your stupid face with your eyes closed, napping.

Thank you.

Should listen to your ancestors to set yourself on fire. We got the chance. How do you know they said that?

I heard him.

No, you didn't. - No, you didn't.

So I'm on to you.

I feel like you've been faking ancestry connection.

They told me what they told you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The earth is flat.

*snap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

But two types of people in the world, Tristan, people who take naps and people who are men, heroes who don't.

who fight back.

math.

I'm just tired, so I just had a little nap.

Unbelievable.

What next?

Thank you.

Oh.

*sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It started ticking.

Thought it was a clock.

Me and my layer.

Thank you.

what can you do about it sleep at me

I think it's a shit what Sleepy Boy decides to do after he's had his noodle bowl. I'm just not talking to you. Just fuck off, princess.

We're the real convicts here. We're the rest of our time.

and talk to you the rest of the night.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

*punch*

Thank you.

Okay.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Okay.

you

Thank you.

If you took the word sleep,

and replace the S with a G,

and replace the L with an A.

and replaces both E's and P with a Y.

what would it spell?

No answer.

Can't work out the math.

Thank you.

You're working out one day, friend.

Thank you.

I'm trying

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

you

Thank you.

Well,

Thank you.

I guess

Thank you.

You're a fucking loser, aren't you? Yep. See you in the morning.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's your favorite song?

What's your favorite color?

What's your favorite movie?

Thank you.

What's your favorite car?

What's your favorite country?

Yes.

What's your favorite dish to eat noodles from?

Go on, say it.

Go on.

Tell the world.

admissible

Fucking loser.

Such a fucking loser.

No self-respect, no dignity.

Can't even become a cybertronic organism like I can.

Well, because you're scared a little bit of stomachache from plastic fumes like a baby.

They're a fuck up.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

a princess,

Thank you.

dreaming of your spaceship are you?

Excited for your little tour of the solar system.

with your mate, Neil.

Well,

Amen.

They have a nice little comfy bed on your fucking

Spaceship, don't you?

Is your blanket pink?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Bet it is.

pink and fluffy.

Your uniform is probably pink and fluffy.

Your captain's hat.

pink fluffy captains out on your way to fucking...

PluO.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I am on to you, mate.

Your secret plan is to travel the solar system.

on your loser tour have been exposed.

You're never going to get away with this.

ever.

*Sigh*

If you count to 10, I'll be quiet.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We have to count to 10.

We don't count to 10.

I'm not going to stop talking.

What do you think of advice for anything?

One more time so I can hear you. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

You have to count to 10 backwards or it doesn't count.

All right, don't lie to the subscribe for the two one.

He has to do it with a girl's voice.

And then I'll stop.

Give me my cigarette!

Shut the fuck up, you criminal. Don't pay yourself. There is no justice to take this time. Shut the fuck up. Nice. Wonder what he did.

Give him some cigarettes.

Thank you.

Pissed the guard off again. Your mate next door. Give him some cigarettes.

So you give him some cigarettes out the window. Yeah.

We'll make him happy. You sound singing.

Count to 10 backwards in a girl's voice and I'll speak quiet.

I understand very much. I can't sleep. Flap your arms like a chicken. Say, I'm a little chicken boy and I'm tired. I can't sleep. There is no sleep. If you flap your arms like a chicken and say, I'm a little chicken boy and I'm tired, I promise I'll stop.

I'll stop talking to you and I'll let you sleep.

Just admit your little chicken boy and you're tired.

And you want a nappy nappy. Can't be dumb. Say, I want a nappy nappy because I'm tired chicken boy. And flap your arms.

and count from 10 backwards like a girl, and then do a roly poly on the floor.

We'll say, I miss my friend, Neil.

And then I promise I'll stop talking.

If you do all of that,

I'll stop.

*crying*

*Screams*

This is an authentic damn experience.

Ah!

It's pretty authentic. I might go mental like the other guard, other people, and start attacking guards and just go mental.

You can't go mental. Tristan, I might go mental in jail. We didn't go mental.

is this the way let me out

You think it'll work? No. Look if we scream, let me out, they'll let us go home.

No.

We should try.

We've never tried it.

No.

That's not how going home works.

*shriek*

It's not how jail works.

Unfortunately, otherwise all those people would have got out.

That's true, actually. Maybe they did get out. We never saw what happened to them. Maybe the one's fighting the guards. Maybe they're just waiting for us to scream so we get to go home.

Yeah, maybe it's like an escape room.

You just have to ask him nicely.

Thank you.

Who would win in a fight?

A kitten.

or you.

Thank you.

I will literally not even reply to you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You with a machete versus a two week old kitten.

The Kitten. And you get an element of surprise. Who would win?

Who would win the fight? An ant.

100 Tristans. Fight to the death.

Thank you.

Who wouldn't fight a feather?

No wind, no air. Stationary feather on the floor.

Not even airborne. OK.

or you.

Feather. How would I actually beat a feather in a fight? There's no victory against a feather.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There's just no victory.

Why are you back in jail? Why were we ever in jail?

Because your girlfriend has TikTok?

Oh yeah, I forgot. That makes you a human trafficker. You forgot? Oh yeah, sorry.

My girlfriend has TikTok. Send me to jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to put it in the middle.

Thank you.

Okay.

Who would identify apple juice or orange juice?

Apple juice. Why? It's better.

Oh, oh, oh.

Apple juice is better.

Thank you.

is it everyone's yellow people who would sing

Thank you.

I sing in jail.

True.

Who are we going to fight? A child with a spoon or you with a machine gun?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who would win the fight?

Thank you.

a bowl or a cup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Boom.

Thank you.

Paul could envelop the cup

Surround him. Cop can't do that to a ball.

Bye.

Thank you.

Bye.

you

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I miss my children.

Yeah, I remember when they locked us in jail away from our kids. And I miss my wife. Maybe I should call them.

and see how they are.

or maybe instead,

to calm my soul.

I should have a cigarette.

That's a good idea. Cigarettes? Yeah, cigarettes. Back in the game! Jail's always been sleeping in jail. You can't sleep in jail. I'm always screaming.

Thank you.

Oh, the time you do this.

Time for a cigarette. Good point.

That's refreshing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

5 to

Probably 6am tomorrow.

Police station at 11.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

My triceps are eight.

Thank you.

You don't have triceps, you have biceps. Because you're gay. I do have biceps, yeah.

See you in a minute.

Thank you.

No, that's not true. It doesn't make any sense.

That's the guard for a broom so we can uh

- Clean our cell.

No.

Wow.

Fuck off.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Fuck off, that's why.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Well, give our cell clean. - No, we don't.

Cleanliness is close to buildliness.

Set a very wise philosopher Britney Spears.

She didn't say that.

We're gonna fight you or Britney Spears.

Thank you.

Brady Spiers.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why are you in jail? I'm in jail because my girlfriend has ticked off.

*shrug*

While you're in jail.

Because your girlfriend has tingles.

I'm in jail because the Matrix attacks us both together.

Thank you.

Fine mate, I'm going to do it with you any day.

Thank you.

Send you back, better fucking send me.

right roll as a team gnts

Thank you.

J and T

Yes.

J&N's.

J &N's.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Maybe we should start renting out this jail. That's the Tate's Jail Experience. A million dollars a day.

Thank you.

Or do you think we'll be arrested for actually human trafficking then, if we had a functioning jail in our house?

The jail experience. Yeah, hates jail experience.

You should get your mate in jail and see how he likes it.

Aiden Ross.

five days in jail.

Should we do a day in jail with Aiden Ross? We'd beat the shit out of him. Breaking the laws of pudgyness.

regular loss of fitness.

He'd be very lucky we're not gay and rapists. He does fucking doubt him.

Yeah.

- I don't think Aiden's built for jail.

Is he?

Certainly not.

You have a very bad time.

to the game that was built for very much, but internet streaming, to be honest.

He's a knucklehead.

very knuckle down for a knuckle is fathead

Thank you.

Step on his foot.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good.

Let me make sure that it could--

Yeah.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

*breath

my stomach level acid.

Thank you.

My stomach.

Acid levels.

are off the charts. Call the cops. I'm off the charts.

I'm in jail again.

I'm in jail again.

Just can't wait till I'm in jail again.

Smoking cigarettes, doing push-ups with my friend. I can't wait to be back to jail again.

Back in jail again.

Just can't wait to be back in jail again.

Having committed to an issue and push-ups with my friend. I can't wait to be back in jail again.

Thank you.

Give me a J.

Give me an A.

Give me an I.

Give me an L.

Go jail!

Thank you.

Thank you.

She used to get out of jail free cards from Monopoly. Yeah, do you remember when you had those in Monopoly and used them to play the game?

That's bullshit, you should have just held on to him.

Just kept it all out. Yeah.

All right.

Amen.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What was the best thing about jail?

Thank you.

Go use the fridge.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice little walk to the fridge once a day.

What do you think?

What time is it? I've lost track of time.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Seven.

It's Dalt 7.

egg.

Four ducks live in a pond in the middle of the forest.

Thank you.

They're all named Andrew.

Thank you.

Three chickens.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

What a gold chicken with no face.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

to clean this cell.

A thousand times no.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What are you doing when you mix Kool-Aid?

with ice.

Ice Kool-Aid.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Back in jail again.

Thank you.

You know, I can't wait to be back in jail again.

Thank you.

Do and push up smoking ciggies with my friends.

You know, I can't wait to be back in jail again.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why are they chickens?

There are no chickens in jail.

There were random people making weird noises, though, so that's nice and authentic.

Thank you.

We're an animal house.

yeah J-O is Animal House isn't it

I don't want to live in an animal house, I want to live in one of the other houses.

Little house on the prairie.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

I'm going to request for the guards to get in the room. I'm going to sweep the floor.

No.

No, absolutely no way. You will not touch the fucking floor.

And let's chill.

I like it this way.

You don't.

What's that do?

Thank you.

It's a mess. Exactly.

I'm going to sweep the floor. No.

Thank you.

You're not allowed. Touch the floor and you're fucking dead.

The moment you fall asleep, I'm stabbing you with the shank I made.

You won't.

While pretending to kind of half lay down earlier and half close my eyes or secretly making a knife.

Prison Shank.

You're fucking dead. You can play N'Gal. No.

Still telling me no. Putting things over a way. Nope.

yes

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

cleaning our cell because we don't want to.

No.

That stays.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

I'm using blue wind bags.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you don't sweep my floor why I like the floor this way you know yes I do

You don't. You're lying. The noodle crumbs on the floor is what makes the jail complete.

They complete me.

If you sweep the cell, you'll take away the greatest part of me. Ooh, no, no, don't sweep the cell.

Thank you.

If you sweep the cell.

It'll take away the greatest part of me. Don't touch that broom. Don't sleep myself.

If you sweep the cell, it's a deal breaker.

You're listening.

You're a deal breaker.

you

How can that be true?

You're a bar. You're a dirty line car.

Thank you.

I want you to know that. On what? A cell sweeper. You're a sweeper cell.

wanted

Thank you.

It's like what Jonathan Ross should be if he was working for the...

the government secretly.

That was a smart joke. You didn't get it.

I'm...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now I have to call me Darko Kareem.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Dark Ocarina. - Yeah.

What does that mean? It's my name.

I don't think it is. Head of Station T.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, good night, buddy.

See you tomorrow in jail.

Nice eventful evening. Noodles, sweeping, tea...

Thank you.

No bad day.

All and all as far as jail days go. It's a good one, you know?

Thank you.

I'll go to more jail tomorrow.

Thank you.

Bullshit. It's an extra tight go to sleep.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't sweep my side. Why would you want your side dirty? I like that one. You don't? Yeah.

Thank you.

-

Wash.

It's not.

You just lie.

I've never told a lie.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Okay.

- Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank

-

Thank you.

You don't have to apply. Nope.

Thank you.

your lining now.

This could be a lie.

-

Good night, mate. I'll see you in jail tomorrow. You'll be here?

*clap*

I'll be here. You'll be here.

Thank you.

.

If you put it on like an actual t-shirt from the bottom, it would stretch around there. You do it, you stupid cunt. You're a Cupid stunt.

*clap*

I'm leaving now.

If you sweep the circle.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can block some of the light with this t-shirt.

We've become a successful

Fold it back up and do the other thing.

Ah, blocking the light with a T-shirt.

The old jail tactics.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

Cool.

Thank you.

you

oh

Cool.

Thank you.

Nice too dark

Thank you.

This isn't working.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can't book away with C sharp.

You can block your eyes with a t -shirt.

Why don't you take the light and burn your eyes out?

Then it'd be dark.

You know?

Thank you.

What do you think? All right, sorry. Okay, sorry. Okay.

Thank you.

No turning off the light, T. Guards get mad.

Nice. Just like real jail.

They have to see you at all times.

All right.

you

*Dramatic Music*

I'll see you in jail tomorrow, mate.

See you in jail tomorrow, friend.

See you tomorrow.

Enjoy.

See you in jail.

See you in jail, ain't it? Let's wake up tomorrow. Hopefully we'll be in jail together. Yeah, true. So make sure this attack is bullshit whenever you get out.

Thank you.

*music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No! No, please! No! Shrugger! No! Shrugger! No! Shrugger! No! Please! Please! No!

Thank you.

Nice.

Okay.

Maybe if you beat all the guards up, they'll let you out, bro.

keep going man I'm racing shot in the device don't give up now there's only 50 guards and guards are screaming maybe they'll beat them all you can go home

Take the keys.

Let me out on your way out, bro.

Throw us the keys if you win the fight, please. Yeah. Sell five, mate. Right here.

I'll drive.

I'll drop you off. Yeah, open cell five, please.

When's the last time you solved the Rubik's Cube?

This morning.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

okay

oh

is

is

oh

foreign

I'm getting ready.

Happy New Year!

Nice

Happy New Year, bro.

I hope he gets out.

Jesus.

Oh, oh.

It's a great song.

It might be my favorite song.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jail is always so bright and so loud. There's always noises and you can never fucking relax in this place.

Yeah, I like it.

You don't like it. Illuminates your soul. Opens your mind.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice, there's a mosquito in here. Hope it bites you. I'm welcome to kill him in the hope that he goes over there and pesters you.

So you get mosquitoed online.

mosquito all night long.

Mosquito.

Bid me all night long.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Moving to Paris.

Moving to Genevieve. Same.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

you

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

.

*sad music*

Stop snoring, you retarded cunt. I'm trying to add a degree of realism.

DJ.

And if we're going to add realism to jail, you're going to start snoring because you are snore man.

in jail.

You're snorry sinnet.

Mom.

Thank you.

Your mom doesn't snore in jail.

She does.

How do you know what your mom does?

Bye.

Yeah.

Fuck you.

Set yourself on fire.

I'm setting myself from far.

Or do that idea for him.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Okay.

-

*Gasp*

We enjoy tomorrow? See you tomorrow.

Nice.

unintelligible words from around the jail.

Random screaming in Romanian. My favorite.

Thank you.

Great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

See you in the morning.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Joe's kidding. How about you?

Simple life.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the boys are now asleep. However, they won't be asleep for long.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm. It's just warm.

That's all right.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

yeah

you

and sleep.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No problem.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmh.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

See you.

you're welcome.

Yes.

Yes.

no don't don't don't no

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Yes.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to the next one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, yes.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

to the ground.

Thank you.

*puff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

hmm

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

I have to go on to the next one.

What does that mean?

No.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*sad music*

*puff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Yes.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Right, guys, as it's very clear that Tristan is sleeping peacefully whilst Andrew is starting to regret every second of this live stream, I think we should start talking to chat and thinking about

Tell us what ideas we should come up with next.

.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Amen.

All right.

Chat, tell us what your ideas are. We want to hear all your ideas.

It's going to be a long day tomorrow, and we want to get them as much as we can.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thanks.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Hmm.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yes.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

you

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

I can't get it.

I'll cry in tears in my eyes.

Thank you.

Hold tight. Shout out to the band.

Oh, God.

I love you.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

*Loud music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, that's it too much.

Wow.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

Okay.

Wow.

Thank you.

do it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

MR PRICE: Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to

Thanks.

*shriek*

*sad noises*

Okay.

-

Okay.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I cannot sleep.

at all

I need more cigarettes.

Just move.

We always have.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

I shouldn't have eaten all that coffee.

Increasing our captivity is always an option if we want to be free.

What the fuck does that mean? It means we strengthen the power...

of our jail.

to achieve true freedom amongst the stars.

Bye.

Thank you.

Amen.

I don't know what that means.

Thank you.

Neither do you.

It doesn't matter what it means.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's start it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't want to be in a jail anymore, shit, man, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

That means one of us, I'd like to hear.

Thank you.

Maybe he'll let you out, G.

I might live here forever. Keep smashing the cell. He'll definitely let you out.

Good luck, bro.

I think I've decided that I live here forever.

No, we should do like that guy. He's going to get out and we're not because he's more disciplined and motivated than us. Think of all the things we teach about hard work and dedication. Yeah, we're not even screaming. We're not even trying to get out.

We need to be more like that guy.

Thank you.

That's how we get out of jail, team.

So anyway.

You go first.

Now, I'll look at...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Fucking six months! All I did was look in a fucking car window! Fucking bullshit, man! Shut up, shut up, man! Shut up, shut up! Shut up, man! Fuck! Do I have enough, man?

Nice. Gata, Gata. Gata, Gata. Ah! Stop. Gata. Jail simulator. That's 100% jail. We're gonna start. Unlucky, bro. We're gonna send people here, Andrew. Maybe next time they'll let you out. We're gonna let our fans come and sit in a jail simulator. If you scream louder, they might let you out next time.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Maybe we should start shouting until the guards attack us.

Tish, should we get attacked by the guards?

Good.

We need to start fighting the guards.

What do you think? You should have done from day one.

We're never getting out of here if we don't fight the guards.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Should we start screaming?

I

Thank you.

maybe this is all just a big test and they're waiting to see until we start screaming knock and let us out

Yeah.

I believe that too, but I'm staying.

-

Amen.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

*pain*

*sniff*

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

*

.

*sad*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

From what we've seen so far.

My observations are that Tristan

Tristan seems to be coping a lot better with this 24 hours. I mean he's sleeping peacefully. He hasn't really moved much.

He...

It's like he's accepted that he's going to be there for 24 hours and that he's going to be...

under a lot of pressure from the noise outside it's like he's accepted that and he's at peace with it. Now Andrew,

Andrew is

tossing and turning at every noise he hears. I know

from my own experiences that he doesn't like to be away from his phones and his laptop

any noise that's made is waking him up and

I wouldn't say he's agitated, but I'd say he most definitely wants to get out of there a lot more than Tristan. But we'll see what happens. We've got some more tricks up our sleeve.

Wow.

We shall see. Maybe Andrew will accept it for what it is soon. Maybe he won't. Maybe he'll be up all night.

I think Tristan's coping a lot better though. He's sleeping like a baby and I think we're going to have to change that soon.

Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose.

With my head.

Shut the fuck up.

I come see my family

Shut up, bro. It's very realistic.

Very realistic gym experience.

How much?

Are we charging people for this?

for each 24 hours.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you think?

I'm not charging enough for anything.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

-

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sigh*

Thank you.

*thud*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

but they cannot.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Random, inexplicable noises.

I like it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Shh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Interesting. Are you asleep or a sweep?

it's a good one i think i may have been a sweep bro you are closer to a sweep than you can possibly imagine

Why, because you were going to hit me if I didn't wake up in time? You have no idea how close you were to a sweep.

I'm sweeping.

Thank you.

I'm sleepy.

Are you sleepy?

Yeah, I'm real sweepy.

Thank you.

yes

What?

What do you do if I master Kung Fu with this brew?

What would you do if I... And I decided to destroy you.

What would you like swept the floor with you?

I can speak...

I can go to jail so well.

that I now

can

commentate the workings of Earth using my master voice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If I broke our broom, would you cry?

Yeah.

- Sure.

Yeah.

I'm gonna break it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jill's gay. Oh, Jill's gay. I like him.

*sad music*

no you don't nobody likes jail

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*cough*

any more content from the uh from that big fat woman who

- It's on public trial.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Thank you.

So,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

okay guys so we are now a quarter of the way through we've done six hours it seems that Tristan is a lot more relaxed he's talking sleep talk to Andrew which makes zero sense at all we

Don't know how it's gonna pan out over the next six hours. I guess Tristan might have a bit more energy in the morning because he seems to be getting a bit more sleep than Andrew. However, Andrew doesn't seem to be sleeping at all, or if he is, it's very...

if he is sleeping it's very it's in intervals of 10 minutes 15 minutes it's not real sleep so i think that the guys might have different energy levels when it comes to the morning andrew's playing with broom he's walking around the room he's trying to wake tristan he's trying to entertain himself and keep occupied whereas tristan is very relaxed and

We shall see how it pans out in the next six hours, but we're a quarter of the way through now, and we shall see how it goes. If you guys talk to chat and give us some more ideas, some of the ideas coming through are great. However, the boys do have to be up in the morning.

we will let them sleep a little bit longer now but all ideas are welcome so talk to chat tell us tell us what you think we should do in the morning and yeah we'll we'll review the comments and we'll we'll see what we can do

Thank you.

Thank you.

Or do we let them sleep? I mean...

I'm up. I'm awake. It makes no difference to me.

So do we let them sleep or not? Talk to chat and let me know what you think.

Mm.

Tail's going to be infuriating.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice. The best thing about jail was to be inmates crying. My favorite.

*laughter* *laughter* Is that you crying? *laughter*

It's you when you have to make noodles in a cup, you fucking bowl, fairy. It's you when it's time to sleep. Princess bowl.

- -

You have to be straight.

You're around girls.

So you and you're in outer space.

It's you and your own outspaces, you're making evil.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's how you say hello to your friends.

because all of them will be losers.

Thank you.

One minute.

You're my friend. I'm not your friend. I hate you.

So...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Screaming*

*Screams*

*Screaming*

CALL! CALL!

*Screaming*

.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Screaming*

Yeah!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shriek*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Try and cover the light where I lucky you did earlier. Welcome. Can.

You do it.

Wow.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

yeah

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

you

*shrie*

All right.

you

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

All right.

you

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

you

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

you

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

you

you

.

Amen.

you

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

you

you

Thank you.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

you

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Amen.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

All right.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

you

you

.

*shriek*

*Zzzz*

you

*Zzzz*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

*

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

*crash*

Bye.

*sniff*

*shrug*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

*crash*

*crash*

Thank you.

*crash*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crash*

you

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

*crash*

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Amen.

you

you

*bzzz*

Thank you.

*pfff*

Okay.

*sad sound*

*sniff*

Okay.

*sad sound*

Thank you.

*sad sound*

Thank you.

*snoring*

Thank you.

*snoring*

Okay.

Okay.

*snoring*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Hmm.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shriek*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

*sniff*

you

Thank you.

*crash*

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

*crash*

Amen.

*sad*

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

*sniff*

*sniff*

Thank you.

*sad sound*

*sniff*

Thank you.

*bzzz*

.

Thank you.

*sniff*

*sniff*

*crash*

*sniff*

*sad sound*

*sad sound*

*shrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

*sniff*

Thank you.

*sad sound*

*bzzz*

*sniffle*

*sad sound*

*

.

*bzzz*

*sad sound*

Thank you.

*sad music*

*snort*

*sad sound*

Oh.

- Andrew.

Andrew.

Hey Dork!

Thank you.

Nice.

Amen.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

*crash*

Good.

*sad noises*

*shrrrrrrrrrrr*

*Bzzz*

*Bzzz*

*shrug*

Yeah, you hear that?

Andrew.

Shut the fuck up.

just like real jail

Thank you.

Thank you.

Some frustration there from Tristan with Andrew's snoring.

Maybe Andrew was trying to impersonate Snorri Sinnott.

Who knows?

you

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So guys.

The boys are sound asleep.

However,

in 30 minutes.

they're going to have a rude awakening.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Exactly.

Nice.

Back to jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

*sad music*

*sad*

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Amen.

All right.

Thank you.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shriek*

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What are you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

to learn the future.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

that you can get left.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

MR KIRBY: All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening! - Good evening

Go, go, go. Go, go.

Thank you.

No, no problem.

Everything's fine. - I don't know how to do it. - Yeah. - We're starting.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Please.

Okay?

All right. Thank you. Have a nice day. Brings back memories, Andrew.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cigarette for breakfast?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Breakfast cigarette.

Too scared. I've decided...

Right.

You're no longer my brother.

Cool.

Thank you.

He's been relegated.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've decided not to talk to you anymore.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

*sad breathing*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Okay.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

women in jail

Thank you.

And why you enjoy it.

Take off

Thank you.

Tick tock.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That doesn't make any sense.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll be back.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've changed my name officially to Mr. Potato Head.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

the

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We're supposed to be.

One, two.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

What?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Do we have to ship?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well...

Oh, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

would fit.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pigging*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

one, two, three, four.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Love.

I'm not going to talk to you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Hey.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love this.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What you...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

and I'll press the next year.

Yes.

So, we're going to have to go ahead and go ahead and go ahead.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not going to be so good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Welcome.

MR KIRBY: Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sweep*

Good night.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Amen.

I'm just going to put it in.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I think I'm going to do it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

yeah

Thank you.

Oh.

...

No.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

-

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We'll be right back.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

the ground ground, the

-

- What do you--

I'm going to go.

We'll talk to you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, I thought you would get to see it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

No.

to go to the house.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not sure what they do.

Thank you.

Love us. Thank you.

and the offensive.

I don't know if I'm going to be a little bit.

And

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -mm.

Mm-mm.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you're listening to

Thank you.

I'm going to show you a little bit.

and the world of Italy.

Yeah.

Thank you.

or a new one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Not bad.

Thank you.

I'm not sure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

One minute.

I'll see you next time.

Washington, yeah, then you think of them?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to push it to the office.

Thank you.

and the federal government is...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

No.

Thank you.

- Good morning.

Thank you.

I'm sure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

more

you're okay.

Thank you.

Good morning.

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go to the number four.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

.

um

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yes.

Mm.

Thank you.

*sad music*

and which is

-

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

.

- I'm not sure I can make it on the outside, mate.

I don't think I even agree with society.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

*Mario grunts*

*sad music*

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank

Thank you.

Yeah.

Mm.

Amen.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

*sad noise*

*vroom*

Thank you.

*Burps*

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

you know

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Thank you.

Mmm.

*sad*

Thank you.

*clap*

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't know.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmmmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

All right.

Thank you.

*Painful music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Amen.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

*Mumbling*

Amen.

Yeah.

*vroom*

*Mumbling *

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Amen.

Amen.

*sad music*

*sad music*

Thank you.

*vroom*

*Burps*

All right.

*Mumbling*

*vroom*

*vroom*

*Mario's sound*

Amen.

*Mumbling*

Amen.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

*vroom*

*vroom*

you

.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Mario sounds*

*Mario sounds*

*

*Mumbling*

*Mumbling * Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Amen.

Amen.

*bzzz*

*bzzz *

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

*sniff*

*sniff *

you

you

*vroom*

*vroom * Thank you.

Thank you.

*Bzzz*

*Bzzz * Thank you.

Thank you.

*vroom*

*vroom * Thank you.

Thank you.

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Thank you.

*Mario sounds *

. Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

Amen.

*Mumbling*

*sad sound*

Mm.

*Zzzz*

Hmm.

*Mario*

*vroom*

Thank you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

*buzz*

Thank you.

Amen.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

*sad noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Mmmmm.

*makes noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

Mmmmm.

*bzzz*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Amen.

*sad music *

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

*bzzz *

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

-

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mmm.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Vroom.

Mmm.

*sad sounds*

*bzzz*

Thank you.

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*vroom*

*vroom*

*sniff *

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

*bzzz*

Thank you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

*vroom*

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you.

*vroom*

*shrug*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad noises*

Thank you.

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you.

Mmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

Mmm.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

Mmm.

*sad sound*

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

*sad noises*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

I know.

Mmm.

.

Mmm.

*sad music*

Hmm.

*sad music*

Thank you.

*Burr*

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

Hmm

Thank you.

*sad sound*

*vroom*

*Mario sounds*

*sad noises*

*vroom*

Thank you.

*thud*

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

*sad noises*

*sniffing*

*vroom*

*grunt*

Thank you.

*sad sound*

Amen.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

*vroom*

Thank you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

*vroom*

*vroom*

Thank you.

Sure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm.

Amen.

Hmm.

Mm.

*sad noises*

Thank you.

And

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

*sniff*

Let's go.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

*vroom*

*Mario grunts*

Thank you.

*sad sound*

*vroom*

*vroom*

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*mimics*

*vroom*

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

*sad noises *

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*Mario grunts*

Mmm.

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*vroom*

Thank you.

*sad noises*

*vroom*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Mmm.

*bzzz*

Thank you.

*sad noises*

*vroom*

Thank you.

*vroom*

Thank you.

Hmm.

.

Thank you.

Mm.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Mmmmm.

Okay.

Mmm.

Hmm.

Thank you.

*shrug*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Mumbling*

*Mumbling*

Thank you.

*vroom*

*vroom*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Mmm.

.

Mmm.

*Mario grunts*

*sad noises*

Thank you.

*vroom*

Amen.

*sad*

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

you

Thank you.

*bzzz*

Thank you.

*shrug*

Thank you.

*vroom *

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Painful Music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Shh.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm.

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Amen.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You make sense.

Thank you.

*shriek*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Bye.

.

you

*Tonk*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I should not know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Shh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

you

I'm going to go ahead and get some more.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crash*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Yeah.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm so good.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

*shriek*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crash*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ha ha ha.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

All right.

I think

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yo, talk. Yep. Stop snoozing. Okay.

I'm going to go.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Pain*

Thank you.

common cast for the automatic

Good morning.

I'm going to put the camera on the camera.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Timmy Joe.

Ah, good old jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Glad to be here, glad to be anywhere.

You know?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bread and a boiled egg.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ooh, close.

There are many different versions of reality, my friend.

And in all of them, you are a loser.

Andrew.

Thank you.

What come?

Thank you.

Thank you.

No one has ever liked you.

Thank you.

Probably got to keep my whore mouth shut.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Incredible Walt Luther, you're. He amazes me every day.

Look at that look around at you. Wow.

What an incredible achievement.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*sad*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

um,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Andrew, you're a loser. No one likes you. I don't even know what time it is.

What time is it?

Thank you.

No one knows in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

They call me the human spider.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Have a good start, you have to go to the segment.

What's the track of time? Got to go sign the...

for the police station.

Yeah. How is it?

So, do you know?

I will take it to you. Okay.

Thank you.

Come in.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And then back to jail.

Bye.

Okay.

Thank you.

saying stuff

Thank you.

Been through the desert on a horse with no name. Shut up.

Thank you.

How good to get out of the rain. It can't be 10 o'clock.

- Thank you.

No alarm clock.

Never knew what time I was in jail when we woke up.

In the desert, one remembers your name still.

I'm burning my egg for later.

Thank you.

and police station

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, let me get you.

Oh, thank you.

Unfortunately, guys, due to the boys' conditions with the Judas, you'll...

control they do have to go to the police station to sign their papers they won't be going anywhere else they'll be coming straight back this is obviously out of our control in the meantime though we can watch some Tucker behind the scenes and we'll get the boys back in the cell as soon as possible

Thank you.

*music*

Thank you.

Cigars are hundreds of years old.

Me and Andrew did not invent them.

But I see all the time people on the internet post photos with cigars in their mouth, and everyone's like, "Oh, you're trying to be the Tate Brothers."

Like, I have never claimed

that I

started cigar smoking.

you got that one little piece of glare,

Off that light, is that what it is? - Yeah, you see it right here? - Yeah, I do.

So...

This is right up here.

Let me see.

Thank you.

-

put it on top of that. Yeah, I'm just gonna slide this under it.

*sad music*

Bye.

What about you?

Florida.

Nice. I live in Miami now. Really? Yeah. I'm in Naples. No shit, bro. Yeah, bro. We gotta hang.

you

you

Yeah.

- Short?

Yeah.

Andrew, what is it smelling in here right now?

sure

- Thank you.

I just wanted to.

Raid, I've been fly hunting.

This whole house smells like green. I think there's still one or two, but they're rocked.

Then you woke up with messy pants. Yeah.

And no wallet.

-

Thank you.

Bye.

- Okay.

Pick it to you guys once more soon.

Thank you.

Do it again.

All right.

I've been, uh,

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know what I didn't realize about this?

What? Is that it actually has...

Jack in it.

Yeah, they left it in there when they did the resin.

Andrew, you're going to sit up? You're going to sit up, yeah? Keep talking, Justin.

Test, test, test.

Test.

Actually, Tucker,

Test, test, test, test. Did you know that Tristan is--

Tristan is a lizard man.

and he's in cohesion with

Marcel now.

to fight against.

The insect people.

*Gunshot*

from cigar to prison cigarettes.

- Hey, these prisons.

Yeah.

So I'm-- wait, who's here? I'm here, Tucker's here, yeah?

Talk us here. I'm here. Cool.

Oh, can we clear everything off this table?

Yeah, cool. Absolutely.

- Yeah.

*Spring*

-

Exactly how I like it. Thank you very much.

Nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sigh*

Slept good?

Yeah.

I couldn't fall asleep. Nothing wrong. You ever have that?

You're like, "Fuck!"

I started to get mad about it.

Yeah.

Like, there's no reason for this.

- It's just a good one.

*sad*

T's probably gonna do it.

Might as well do three.

How can we turn this to...

Make it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

- Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

They make it very clear around here. Yeah, these will kill you. That's what that means, bro. The Gretza made them too powerful. Yeah.

It's like when Darth Vader puts the mask on.

The force is too strong in him.

Yeah, they put dying people in the front of cigarette packets.

science

Bro, the small print, bro.

NONE.

in Europe they put images of dying people on them

- Okay.

That's awesome. Deterves nobody. Yeah, we went to, you guys have been recommending amazing places. It was the best steak I've ever had. I mean, nine out of ten was unbelievable. Where'd you go?

First night where'd you go? I can't remember. First night they went to Hero Bay. Last night they went to La Brasserie.

The first night they went to LeBrasse. The first night was LeBrasse. The first night was LeBrasse. Last night was Caseta David.

So you went brasserie, how late were you there like I'm living vicariously through you now? We were there till

Midnight and then we walked around the lake. Like I walked around the lake for about 30 minutes. There was kind of clubs like loud music down there. It was really nice. I just want to move here last night. And then you went to Casa last night and you're saying the food was good there as well?

Yep.

So

Did anyone guess why you were here?

No, there's a couple fans that came up to talk to "We Love You" and stuff like that. You know, like four or five people. That was like... Yeah. Does he get that in America? He must get that in America all the time. It's... He can't go anywhere in America. Yeah. He used to be able to travel to Europe. No one came up to him. Yeah. Uh, what you're saying last night? He was like, "Well, coming to Europe now is a little different." Yeah. You know? Because Twitter's international. Yeah, of course. It is, yeah. It's worldwide. Yeah, it's a big deal, bro. Just watch your monologue. Other days... Bro, him going to Twitter is fucking huge.

I'm so happy about that. 12 minutes?

Alright, we'll see you then.

Keep that door closed. Just like one centimeter open.

If any more flies fly in here, I'm going to be pissed.

Emory Tate.

Is that his name? - Emery is Andrews.

technically it's Andrew's name. So my father was Emory Andrew Tate and his father was Emory Andrew Tate.

and my mother hated

than a memory.

So when he was born,

They agreed to call him Andrew Tate.

and she was all like half dead in the delivery room. So he goes, "Don't worry, I'll go fill out the paperwork. Emory Andrew Tate III."

So his whole life we called him Andrew. I didn't even find out his technical name was Emery until I was like six or seven years old.

So his name on paper is Emory Andrew Tate.

But everyone's always called him Andrew. It's not even something he's adopted.

And then my mom fell for it again.

silly woman, they had this argument about my middle name.

So Tristan Tate and my mother wanted to give me some gay ass middle name that my father hated.

So again, they tricked her. She's in the delivery room. Don't worry, I'll go fill out the paperwork. Left my middle name blank. So... You don't have a middle name? No, no, no. So my dad just hustled her twice, sold the names.

Yeah.

TT.

Tristan Tate, that's it. My mother had a middle name planned for me. I don't know what it was. I'd have to ask her.

So you guys built this from scratch or what was it? It was a warehouse that a guy had turned into a house very badly on a very low budget.

So me and Andrew took it over and spent a lot of money

doing it the way we like.

The cigar room was a very poor, put together cinema.

It was crappy looking when we first came in here.

We rented it for about one year.

and then we bolt it afterwards.

Guys, don't panic. Andrew and Tristan will be back in the cell as soon as possible.

They have to go and sign these papers as part of their judiciary control. It's completely out of our control. We will have them back in that cell as soon as we can.

It's not dangerous for saying women can't drive. Who gives a fuck about that? That's not important.

-

I hear a car pulling up and it's 11.42.

All right, we're good. Thank you.

No problem man.

You're a perfectionist, I like that.

- Okay.

Alex, step outside and look up and down the road.

Gentlemen, how you doing? Good to see you bro. Amazing as always. Nice to meet you bro. Tristan.

Hello. Hello. This is beautiful. Thank you. It's my first time in Romania. Yeah. You enjoying it?

It's awesome. I walked down the city for a while yesterday.

Yeah, I know. I know. I don't live here for no reason. I guess, yeah. It's beautiful. You raved about it for a reason. Hey guys. Hey. Hey.

How are you? Good, man. Good to see you again. Thank you for having me. Good to meet you. Tucker's nephew.

Ah, okay, cool.

Part of the resistance, eh? Yeah, right? Yeah. - Seen it. - On board.

I'm going to stay in the shade. Yeah. Yeah. You're in a nice suit.

Thank you.

Yep.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey! How you doing? Well, I'm totally bewildered. I come out and meet you before I step one foot over this line. Hey. It's back to jail. Tucker Carlson. Tucker, a pleasure. Tristan Tate. It's so nice to meet you. Great to meet you too, man. What a trip this is. I'm a huge admirer. Help, man. This is like...

You're the famous one, bro. You're the famous one. Not me. I've never been star struck in my life. Here I am. Hey, Tucker Carlson.

Nice to meet you. Are you American?

Yes, very. What are you doing here? I got a couple friends, you know, one flew across the world. I go to jail. Yeah.

It's good hunting and fishing here. I wish I could take you, but unfortunately... I want to go to Transylvania. Oh, bro, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. You have to. I like incredible. That's the only car they left me with. A 1979 Lada built in the USSR. No way! Yeah, I bought it just for shits and giggles, but they took everything of value. They didn't want that one. They took all off. We had a bunch of fancy. Oh, so I kind of liked that, actually. I like it, too. And they fucked up because the... Do you like a standard transmission? Yeah, I do. And the moment they let me out of this house, that's going to become the most famous car in the world. Because I'm going to be... So you literally can't leave the house? No.

Nope, back to jail if I stepped foot over the line.

Anyone want coffee? I have like eight cups, but thank you.

All right, we have to clear this table, though. Is that Tate's? Yeah.

Okay.

*Bad music*

Sparkling water and coffee, that's most of our diet. Drink the fucking water. Yeah, yeah. Drink the fucking water.

- Yeah. - Like a little, like a fanny pack. - So, taking a sip every 10 minutes.

*Clapping* *Clapping* Claire, I was just like, this is cool. Yeah, I know. It's also cool. This is so fucking old school. I know. This is for real. This is sick. See why you're in America.

-

-

- -

Thank you.

Yeah.

One wing mirror is ascended.

I'm not going to be able to do it.

I don't know why.

I like shitty old stick chips, I just do. Tells you something.

Thank you. That was great. Did you turn the key all the way to the left? Otherwise the battery's half on and it drains. Just double check. Now we're talking. You guys have a great week. We want to pop the bonnet and see what's under there. He's the best. It's got a choke. Yeah, it's got a choke. Or when it doesn't start in the cold, you gotta pull it. I was gonna say, I try not to be honest. I have no idea. I can do some trouble.

- I'm back at the front.

I think it's that right there.

Thank you.

Okay.

Maybe to the side? - I might put it in a second. - No.

- Well, this should be open. - Oh! - There you go. - Now these are, some of the, it's well built. Some of these parts are from a newer Lada. - I was about to say that's-- - The electric ignition is from a newer Lada, new battery. I've got it all ready to go for the let me out of house arrest. - That's clean as fuck. - I'm gonna tear the city up. - Yeah, I mean, it's a four cylinder overhead valves.

It's a pretty modern engine actually. I doubt that's very general. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know...

The the the top and this look different from when I had it a month ago. I got this all rebuilt.

you

you

*music*

*music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well this is fun so now apparently I'm in here until

Take it back.

How's that fair?

I didn't do nothing wrong.

I guess neither did they go.

I'm still going to

unless they sell out all the gone here.

Cigarettes.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Please tell me.

It didn't take the light up.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm.

Oh

Did they take off the slide here?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

The funny thing is

I haven't been in a cell.

in years.

Thank you.

I was arrested a few times.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But you know,

You grow up, you know?

I was arrested for stupid shit.

fighting in pubs and

silly things.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

These cigarettes are a load of odds.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What even are these?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Chesterfield.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I might.

*sigh*

mess up their cell a little bit while they're gone, you know? I haven't got B in here all the day.

So I might sabotage this a bit.

and put

noodle wrappers in the toilet.

Thank you.

Hmm.

I guess I could just take a nice stinky poo

I'll leave it there for them. But I'll get them, won't I?

I would certainly get them but I'm not going to do that

*laughs*

I was gonna do that, I'd do it on the floor.

Get Tristan for real.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can't do it a bit tight.

Hold on to the energy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I guess at some point, Andrew's going to train, isn't he?

He's going to do some push-ups.

I can see it coming.

So maybe,

Maybe.

Thank you.

I soak the floor.

So he has to do wet push-ups and then get back in his bed.

web.

hands and wet feet.

I would read again.

Thank you.

*thud*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shh*

I imagine in the cell that they were in,

Thank you.

the floor was cold wet. Let's make it a bit more

at home.

*sniff*

*sad*

so

.

-

I'll keep topping the water up.

There's a battle raging for your mind. If they fail to brainwash you then they will try their best to restrict your body.

They will do anything it takes to stop you from

telling others.

*Clears throat*

Good

coffee floor.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*snap*

.

Actually, coffee.

wet cold floor.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

In a world of shadows and bonding chains, the time for liberation is near. With unmatched perspicacity, wisdom is revealed. Your mind, body, and spirit are sharpened, and endless possibilities unfold. So stand strong, defy conformity, and rise above. Your destiny knows no bounds.

Resist the slave mind.

Costum in there.

Wow.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

I'll be back.

- Christian didn't eat his egg.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

I can now smell the coffee on the floor. Nice.

Maybe if it starts to evaporate as the day goes on, it will caffeinate them more because they're breathing it in.

superpower

caffeinated oxygen.

humid

caffeinated oxygen.

Thank you.

Personally, I think they should have threw knowledge in here with me.

But they didn't. They sent me on my own.

This isn't fair, I haven't got anyone, this is solitary.

Thank you.

No booze in here. Just water.

Hot water.

*music*

I'm going to go ahead and see you next time.

Thank you.

There is a battle raging for your mind. If they fail to brainwash you then they will try their best to restrict your body.

They will do anything it takes to stop you from telling others.

true.

There is a battle raging for your mind. If they fail to brainwash you, then they will try their best to restrict your body.

They will do anything it takes to stop you from telling others.

*music*

Amen.

you

They definitely should have put someone else in here with me. I feel that I'm sitting

in solitary by myself there's no one even to talk to

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think that people should say in the chat that I deserve a soulmate, right?

It's only fair. I mean,

I shouldn't even be here.

Thank you.

I went from narrator to prisoner.

in two minutes. It took two minutes.

Thank you.

It's annoying that the boys had to go and sign papers.

Not gonna lie.

But I guess when they were in jail, they would have had to go to court and things like that anyway, so...

it doesn't really change anything. It's the same as what would have happened if they were in jail or so.

I guess it's an exemption, isn't it?

If I gave you a million dollars right now, you would not have a sparkle in your eye that women respect. You would not have that depth of your character that men respect. But if I teach you how to make a million dollars and you make a million dollars with your own grit and determination, that million dollars becomes far more valuable because you are a more important person. It's not just about giving a man a fish, it's about teaching a man to fish. And once the man knows how to fish, he has an unspoken aura. Something changes about him that makes that money much more

found some money on a crypto pump is not a life worth living you need to make that money because as you make that money you learn everything about negotiation networking you know anything about stress and hard work and determination and it is those things that is going to change your soul and forge you into a man which is respected by your peers and also respected by the females that you're trying to attract and they're going to look at you in a way where they're going to know ah i can actually trust this man he didn't find this money he didn't get this money lucky he earned it he's the kind of man who never fails and never loses and that's why it's so important that you

right now, I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be good for you. It would be detrimental for you. Most of you are not ready for wealth. You have to go out there and earn it yourselves. We teach absolutely everything on CobraCape.com. Our email list is completely free. Hustles University cost less than the lunch you ate yesterday. We'll teach you how to make money with 18 modern wealth creation methods, and the network you're looking for exists inside the world. The answers to the dream life you have been looking for already exist.

If we only exist

amongst the month.

you're gonna end up

That is why.

inside of Hustles University.

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It's a venomous

Beats?

I'm sticking to the gear. You're not the way.

I've been feeling, childless business, love is dancing, you'll be feeling, childless business.

*Mario's voice*

you

We need to break.

Thanks.

You're going to pack the cash.

Yes, cool. We'll automatically

It might be the best time.

Yeah, don't worry. That car costs less than the insurance.

No, how much is it?

tire on your car.

No, the Bugatti tire is more than Lotto.

- Thank you.

Amen.

Is Andrew back? Yeah, he is. I figured that the cell that you were in jail would have been cold and wet.

It would have been nice to do the exercise on.

It's worse though in some ways.

Mucha good matter.

- Freezing cold, two parts of fun super cold floor.

It's a care. But we wanted to make it more realistic, right? So we need to do it on a cold and wet floor. That's what I'm talking about.

There's no cockroaches, bro.

Unfortunately, they're not.

I'm just playing holding stuff. Yeah, I explained to you.

There I am.

Thank you.

by 30,000 people.

Thank you.

All right, get the fuck out of my cell. It's going to be a long day, bro. Get the fuck out of my cell. I don't want to be in your cell. In fact, I was in solitary by myself. At least you had to- Fuck off. Give angry slippers. Where is angry?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, so I will be fine, and I will be fine.

I might be in jail by myself.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

I had to go to the police station.

because I'm still actually in jail.

Thank you.

First, my jail cell was a room. Then my jail cell was my house, and now my jail cell.

is this city. So I have to go and sign a piece of paper so the police know that I'm still actually spending my time in the city.

in jail.

Amen.

And now I'm back in jail.

I'm back in my jail.

I might live in here forever.

I might never leave.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll look at the back. Morning.

Spill the water, did you? No, Rory did. Why the fuck did Rory spill water all over our floors? This is a fucking idiot. I just swept it around and we'll wait for the drive.

Thank you.

I know. That's what I was thinking.

He's a conch.

So welcome back to jail. Thanks.

Thank you.

Well, you know what they say.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm having a traditional gel breakfast. Chesterfield.

- An egg and a cigarette is a pretty traditional jail breakfast. - It is.

Can't go wrong with a negative cigarette.

Thank you.

We want to peel the egg though.

don't

Peeling the egg is very annoying.

My hands are heavy.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's another day in jail. So I'm thinking, Andrew, instead of staying here for 24 hours, why don't we stay for 92 days?

Starting now.

Thank you.

Some of the good ideas.

Um,

The outside world can't bother us.

all the horrible things outside of these doors like fresh air

and human company.

Can infect my mind.

You promised last night you were going to set yourself on fire this morning.

I did promise last night I was going to set myself on fire this morning. I'm starting with a cigarette.

- No one let them.

Thanks.

The world thinks you're a liar now, do you?

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

or the menthol cigarettes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

You're having fun getting your egg.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

How was your breakfast? Bread and an egg. That was a good breakfast, we got it.

but there's always just the one egg.

Thank you.

That was my problem.

Thank you.

You fucked up, you didn't wake up and wrap up the towel

Thank you.

We're slipping on our technique.

I bet I could still make instant coffee with it.

We come.

I'm back at still making some coffee with nice cold water.

Bye.

I thought I was talking about also traditional jail workers, man.

hope

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That certainly is traditional.

*clap*

All right.

A spoon full of coffee.

Full pools on the Chesterfield.

Well, sitting there peeling an egg, like a loser, am I?

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

You want your breakfast?

I want to drink some coffee. Well, you let the water go cold, and that's our own fault.

Well, you can just get replaced with hot water.

We woke up when the guards searched the room. And we didn't take the war and wrap it in a towel because we're amateurs.

Are you listening?

We've lost

the technique of jail living.

I feel like we need to spend more time here to get back used to it.

Thank you.

I'll sell you my egg for 12 cigarettes.

I'll steal your egg. It was delayed.

Well,

You won't. I made a shank last night.

Thank you.

I made a shame classmate, and if you try and steal my egg, I will kill you.

I want you to know that.

live on Rumble.

most viral stream ever.

you

Tate brothers, hundreds of millions of dollars in net worth, stab each other to death over egg.

Thank you.

In fact, I'm going to eat my egg.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And the bread.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It was a really good day in jail when with your egg you got a slice of sour cheese.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you think a fair amount of time would have been to actually hold us in jail?

Zero.

I think a forgivable amount of time

Thank you.

would have been.

48 hours.

48 hours

is a forgivable amount of time for an innocent man, especially when

You have all the evidence that proves we're completely innocent.

like CCTV,

like the false accuser literally admitting it. And they had that the whole time. I think 48 hours would have been acceptable.

Thank you.

and forgivable.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

I'll show you my 8 for 12 cigarettes.

Thank you.

Rumor has it, because I can't read the Rumble chatroom,

Rumor has it, Andrew, you're too scared to eat a spoonful of coffee.

I thought that's a rumor.

I think it is.

I reckon right now people are spamming the chat.

With Andrews too scared to eat his morning spoonful of coffee.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Eat your fucking coffee.

I'll make a coffee in a minute.

Thank you.

Hope for the floor to dry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

So you're scared.

Thank you.

Yeah.

afraid.

Thank you.

Oh

What's today's Quran verse?

looks so.

Go find out.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good breakfast.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

- I'm gonna write a letter.

Thank you.

Thank you.

like in jail, write letters to our home country's embassies.

So they can tell us to fuck off and run in jail.

Hi, I'm a citizen of your country.

Thank you.

I've been falsely imprisoned.

Please, can you assist me? No.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Smoke your fucking cigarette. Why'd you throw the lighter down the crack of my bed, you prick?

because I hate you and everything you stand for.

The sight of your face fills me with anger and rage.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shriek*

Ah, the first jail cigarette of the day.

You know, snow is going to be a good day when you wake up in jail and smoke a cigarette for breakfast, you know?

You know it's going to be a pleasant,

Day.

Thank you.

Then we get mail at some point.

Their mail comes in 10 minutes.

and the mail is super chats that people have been sending us

Nice.

Sure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Four ducks living a pond in the middle of a forest.

Wow.

He's like

Do you want to hear a genuinely really hilarious joke?

It's really funny on here.

Thank you.

What did the strong inmate...

say to the weak inmate in jail,

Eat your fucking coffee.

Thank you.

It's a good joke, isn't it? Why do you think calling me weak is an insult? This 2023 being strong doesn't matter.

Oh, being strong doesn't matter.

So like if I had gone to jail in Romania with all those criminals and I was just weak

it wouldn't matter at all. They just leave me alone, would they? Yeah.

You're a feminist.

*snap*

So if I was weak and I was a feminist and I had blue or pink hair,

and I went to Romanian jail, it's fine, you don't need to be strong anymore. I just explain

to the violent psychopaths in jail. Correct.

who have been in jail for 20 years since before the world was this way. Correct. That being physically strong and powerful doesn't matter at all. And we're all equals in the jail cell. Correct.

or

or thought experiment,

Would that weak, blue-haired, pink-haired feminists

Be fucking cleaning everyone's shoes and tidying the room and doing foot massages and blowjobs.

Strength is real, you need to be strong.

No, you don't.

I take back everything I've ever taught.

You take back everything you've ever told.

It's important that you're

an ally to the community. Well, community. Or do I have to guess?

Thank you.

So not at least.

All right, if you had the power, would you rather have superhuman strength or superhuman empathy?

I already have superhuman strength. I would choose superhuman empathy and be weak.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, all the Greek philosophers, all of them, although you imagine them as old men wearing robes because they did eventually get old, were all soldiers and athletes.

All of them.

Plato isn't even Plato's name.

Plato means broad, like wide. It was his wrestling name and no one knows his real name.

It's the equivalent of like in...

2000 years time.

Dwayne Johnson just being known as The Rock and his real name being lost in history.

so Plato one of the greatest philosophers

goes by his wrestling name and his wrestling name is broad because he was big and scary i'm the greatest philosopher and i got by the name top g

You are a bit like a modern day philosopher.

God.

Wow.

Thank you.

For the record guys, Andrew and Tristan cannot see the chat. They have a TV behind the camera with a Romanian channel playing, but we're playing it on mute simply because otherwise it interferes with the microphones. They cannot see the chat.

philosophy for the strong will have its

What is that?

We'll have a society ruled by cowards. It's war fought by idiots. It's thinking done by cowards. Yeah, that's it.

Something.

We'll have his thinking done by cowards and its battles fought by fools.

- It's very true. - And here we are today.

Here we are today.

Very few world leaders are physically intimidating.

President of Mongolia is G. You won't want to fight the president of Mongolia.

I have faith in that country.

because the president's

edge.

Burkina Faso, he's a warrior.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Mind joining the Amish community? I don't think you'd be welcome. Why?

You're a dickhead.

Why wouldn't I be welcome in the Amish community? Ridiculous.

I don't think that's a requirement.

I don't think being a dickhead

disqualifies you from being in the Amish community because I bet there are some high, there are plenty of Amish stickers.

I've never heard an Amish person call another Amish person a dickhead. I've never really heard an Amish person. Where are you going to hear them?

On the radio. I can join a community you never heard.

I've seen them.

I spoke to him at length and we all talked about me and every single Amish person. I had a meeting with the Amish and they said, look. You're not welcome.

Ezekiel told me.

The I could join. Ezekiel's a G name.

Ezekiel is a G name.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I need to bring the name Ezekiel back.

Ezekiel take. I might fucking use that.

Private Psalm.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Think of all the things we could have accomplished in 92 days of not being locked in a room.

Thank you.

We need to get some marble statues made.

Thank you.

Good ball.

Awesome.

I'll move back in the future.

Can you listen?

We need marble statues lost made.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks. Nice.

Thank you.

Cut the pile in half.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*shrie*

Yes.

laughter

Let's see.

Right. First, you or me? Well, most of these are just thank you messages.

Let's go to one more one.

When the next time we're gonna go fresh and fit.

I would like to do freshman fair.

soon, but I think that's also going to be one of the most

important.

podcast to do when all of this is completely over we can speak absolutely freely yeah yeah a full expose buy yourself some jail six thank you very much

Can I come visit you for one day, Andrew and Tristan? No.

You can't because I don't know who you are and you're probably not interesting.

So I don't want to talk to you. Yeah, I want you to understand at home. I appreciate the messages of, hi, I want to come visit you. Hi, I want to come see you. Hi, can you mentor me? Hi, can I come work for you?

Thousands of messages read that exact same thing per day.

If I need anyone for anything, I can find them within the war room. One.

Two,

In a day and age when I get hundreds of letters every day,

99 from fans who adore me, and one from assassins threatening to kill my family. If you come to my gate, I'm not going to walk out and talk to you.

I don't know who you are. I don't know which one, if you're an enemy,

or a friend.

So although I might

be polite if you see me on the street don't come to my house no you cannot come visit me

Max Wood.

sent six messages.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can't put into words how grateful I am.

"When you're gone, I'll be telling the story of Andrew and Tristan Tate to my grandchildren's children."

It takes me trust.

Blah, blah, blah.

I'm going to the gym. I'm making myself healthier. All the usual stuff. Well, good for you, Max. That makes me very happy.

to know that I've inspired you.

to be a better version of yourself.

PotionSeller96, called Bless Your Tates. There's $20 for his tape pledge that I hope goes to good use.

It does. I guarantee tape pledge is the most efficient charity on the planet. All these other charities, less than 10% of the money ends up out in people. Tape pledge, all the money. Bureaucracy, staff, we have people on the ground

who spend all the money we send them

helping the people we intend to help.

And that's it.

And we take zero money, zero admin fees, zero anything, and we just keep throwing money into it.

Best cherry in the world.

Thank you.

So yeah, it'll go to very good use. If you only had to tell yourself one sentence to push yourself as hard as possible, what would it be?

Depends on the scenario, I guess.

That's a good question. Come back to that one. If you're a young man and you're at home, maybe the man who wrote that, what I would say is this.

Because you're asking us for advice and you're asking us for help. And we get asked for help and advice all the time.

I would look myself in the mirror. I'd take off my shirt, in shape or out of shape. I'd look at my...

fat body or maybe you're out of shape or maybe you're in shape. I don't know. And I'd look myself in the eyes and I'd say,

Only you.

can help yourself.

That's what I would say to myself, because a lot of people reach out to me for advice and they reach out to me thinking that a message for me is going to change our life. But it isn't.

You've got the power to change your own life right there with you.

right now. Nothing I say or do.

is going to make you do the work. So now you're in control of yourself.

I said a hey, ha, ha, hey.

Okay.

I know that song that is, I'm going to hear that again.

Thank you for everything, Andrew and Tristan.

- Very welcome, we are the top Gs. I love you guys so much, I try to message you every day. I wanna bring you chocolate when my passport comes. Thank you for bringing people

people closer to God,

from a young woman of God

Thank you.

Female fans, which we have a lot of, people underestimate how many women actually adore us.

I know you're interested in holding it down. Keep up the good work. I'll see you when you get out, inshallah.

from WorldCrate.

Central Europe.

I'm about to go running just for the discipline, keep killing it you guys, don't let them win, big respect from Slovakia.

Thank you, Jager Sam. Slovakia is Eastern Europe. I'm sick of you all saying Central Europe. You're just trying to disassociate yourselves from the other Slavs and the Romanians and pretend that you're different.

Eastern Europe, Slovakia's Eastern Europe.

or technically it's more west than parts of Italy and

There's a line called the Iron Curtain.

East of the Iron Curtain is Eastern Europe. West of the Iron Curtain is Western Europe. There is no Central Europe. You are a Slavic people.

Stop saying Central Europe.

Only Slovaks and Czechs do this and it makes you sound retarded.

You're welcome. Good night, Tate. Hope you're doing well.

I've not had any life experiences. Should I join the war room? You should join the war room when you've had experiences or not, because without a brotherhood and a strong network, you're always going to be an unimportant loser.

So you already know the answer to the question. I'm not sure why you're asking me when you know the answer. Swimpimp says start playing a slide whistle at random times. Well, this is jail.

There are no slide whistles.

This isn't a fucking fairground.

Tristan, here's $10 to pay off Bewitched for your copy of C'est La Vie. I looked them up and they were touring in the UK, performing as early as this year.

So we can go to a Bewitched concert, you can give them the £10 you owe.

In person, if you're not afraid. What I'll do is I'll just buy tickets to their concert and not show up.

That way they've been compensated.

for copying their CD.

Scared, eh?

I'm scared to look them in the eyes and tell them what you've done.

Scared to finally face up to it like a man.

Hmm.

typical year.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm always debating teachers in school who try and spread lies about you. No matter the outcome, you're making history and you two will be talked about long after you're gone. Thank you for everything. Thank you guys. And yes, teachers are number one matrix agents. They don't want to know the truth or spread the truth about anything.

Thank you.

But we will win in the end.

Good morning, Andrew. It's just an interesting stream.

Were the lights really on in the real cells all the time? Yes. Yes, they were. They want to make sure that when they look in the cell, they can see what you're up to. Want to make sure no one's trying to kill themselves. So yes, the lights are on at all times. We had a system where we could kind of.

use a t-shirt to cover a bit that made it a bit darker.

But yeah, the light was on all the time.

Again, this is the same stupid question. We have versions of this all the time. I want you, Mr. Emery, Mr. Tristan, teach me how to be the best person of myself. This is my Instagram.

One.

I don't have Instagram, so I can't contact you. Two, I won't because I am not your ticket out of the situation you're in in life.

You are your own ticket out of that situation.

I was my ticket out of being broke and being lame and being uneducated and being dumb. I fixed that for myself and you could fix that for yourself. What you can't expect is two multimillionaires who are intensely busy.

to start messaging you on Instagram and assisting you in any way with the basic motivation you need to be the best person of yourself because you already know what you need to do.

Bye.

Train your body, train your mind.

I can't do it for you. People are very excited to see your expedition with your mate, Neil and Matt Shea. Oh, shut up. On the USS Spectrum. I forgot that was a thing.

The world hasn't forgotten me.

Okay.

I'm in the process of having a sales job, but my boxing gym is only open within a certain time.

How do I balance the time?

Find a way.

but do both.

Thank you.

Lots of donations to Tate Pledge, which is amazing.

loads. Tiffany Robertson, I'm proud of you reliving this trauma. You know what, this is kind of like reliving the trauma. This reminds me of being in actual prison. It's basically the same. I can't imagine for a second reliving my trauma. I'm very sad that you had to go through this.

I sent you a very personal story. Use your phone time to check your ex messages. There is no phone time in jail.

That doesn't exist, but obviously

I will, hopefully,

be released from this relatively soon.

Maybe I'll have time to check my X messages, but I'll probably have thousands.

We'll see.

Sneeko, emergency sleeping.

Nice. Nice. Nice.

blessings gentlemen sending you unlimited energy from nino

our friend, you know,

Grateful for you always, from a girl.

Blessings, gentlemen, from girls. Well, those girls love lots of stuff.

Thank you.

You guys are the final piece of the puzzle I've been looking to for years. God led me to you and I was seeking the truth. Thank, guys. Thanks, guys. From Copist.

-

Good for you. Thank you.

I'm going to read more later.

I'm going to go.

and the warrior's cold, there's nothing in the earth

Thank you.

*whistling*

*whistling*

a terminal cancer patient so I can't pledge more money

I wish I could. I've been to jail for eight months and it was like being in the twilight zone.

Respect you guys for showing a bit of what it's really like. Love you both. Yeah.

we decided before doing the stream that we weren't going to pull on a show

do anything crazy, do anything wild. This is not a stream. I'm not a clown.

I'm not pudgy aiding.

Thank you for listening.

I am Tristan Tate, and I want you all to see what jail was like.

There's no stimulus. There's nothing to prompt conversations. You just hear with your thoughts and your cigarettes.

and we occasionally got mail and the mail read all very much like this it was all very supportive so

I appreciate all the people

All the real ones who sent me real letters in jail.

I can save them a month later.

Saving the fun.

"Brow Shaughnessy, the brotherly bond you share is powerful."

You both inspire me to rebuild my relationship with the three brothers I have.

We're going to make you proud.

Keep working hard.

Andrew, Ahmed 51561816 asks if we're ever going to see Top G sparkling water.

Okay.

Thank you.

working on it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Am I going to save some for Lara? Oh, this is an interesting one. Tristan, how come you are an origami master and your brother is incapable of even folding a piece of paper in half?

Sorry, interesting question.

Very interesting.

Why is that? How did I become so good at Oregon? When you made zero effort in your life to ever attempt anything difficult.

I guess you're just a shit person.

Also, the colds of pussy for not eating your breakfast coffee spoon.

And they've got a point.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm gonna falsely accuse you of stealing my coffee.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

this one.

Thank you.

We should put a project party in jail.

Thank you.

Why?

help them grow as a person.

sitting there on fucking Pornhub all day scrolling up and down TikTok.

Getting some real jail time away from the devices.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank you.

Did that kid who got being up ever reach out to you?

What, you?

Thank you.

No, not me. You could be enough after you see Bewitched.

and then you'll reach out to me for help.

That's not true.

If you wish, you're going to hurt you.

I don't think that's true at all for what you've done.

I actually think

that bewitch.

are going to have their social medias blown up and get a little bit bigger because we've mentioned them so much on the stream.

Uh-oh.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So we have no chest, we have no scrabble, we have no backgammon.

Thank you.

We can't both partake in origami, of course, because you're completely useless.

Because I could fold a frog.

Three, four.

No way.

You've done a crane. If you can do a frog too, I'll admit you're actually skilled origami.

It could be 15 minutes of meditation to remember all those.

See? Can't.

Yes, I can. Where is that?

Where's this frog become? Wait, I have to remember all the fucking origami skulls.

*clap clap*

*clap*

Stop tapping. Not until I see a frog folded from paper.

"Oh, I'll make you a fucking frog fold for paper, you cunt."

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

what are your thoughts on the guy who did 17 years because he got full cqs and right

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It is very dangerous to be a man nowadays. I don't even know what the answer is to it.

It's insanity.

pretend you're only dangerous.

Amen.

They're out to get all of us.

It's not just you and me. Every single person with a voice is going to try and destroy.

And the humanity tells the truth in the front of the story.

So you gotta lead by example, as long as you've got millions of people.

while following your example, they can't lock everyone up.

they cut the head off the snake though

turn everyone into a little bitch because you can't watch Andrew take content anymore.

I'll certainly help. It's certainly a snake worth cutting that off.

Thank you.

I think we can rejoice in one thing though, Andrew.

It didn't fucking work, did it?

None of the things they've tried against us so far have worked. Cancellation. Okay, yeah. Do you feel canceled or bigger than ever?

Well, let's say they're bad people and they commit sexual crimes and lock them up in jail. People will just forget them then.

Sure, didn't work. Nice try.

Could have at least hired some actresses to pretend to be fake victims like the BBC did.

What do you mean, Sophie's super real?

Oh, the imaginary BBC victims.

that no federal agency can find but but the pbc somehow can just just pull out whenever they want

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm thinking of becoming a country and Western music star.

Now I can't sing.

or write songs.

or play instruments.

But I feel like I could pull it off just from the look alone.

Go to CowboyTaylor.com.

suit cut, hat, boots, carry a guitar around on my back, the image would be so

monumentally cool

that people will just accept I'm a country and Western music star, without having to have any of the talent of, say, Jason Aldi.

What do you think?

- Polymilly Vanilli.

Young people don't know what that is.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life, what would you change?

*pain*

Thank you.

do everything the same I just speak to you less

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I stood guards for hot water.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- -

Hmm.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I did not see any guards.

So it looks like there's no hot water.

Thank you.

Also, I personally dislike you, so I don't think you deserve water.

.

Thank you.

Why is there a little bit of a waffle?

You let me sit myself for five fucking minutes. It's like the nightmare inmate.

When I was in jail, I met a guy who had a cellmate who wouldn't stop shitting his pants.

That's a bit like having Rory, isn't it?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

*Ding*

*Ding*

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

I'll sell you my Lada for 40 cigarettes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Interested?

No.

Why?

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Oh.

Thank you.

I'm actually the inventor of ice cream.

Thank you.

Did you know that?

That's how I got so rich.

I invented ice cream.

I wish I had some Bud Light, don't you?

I need to train. This wet floor shit's fucking stressing me out.

Yeah, same.

It's ruined my entire day.

I'm going to train legs and arms.

Shoulder hurts for push-ups.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crash*

Admit that you're in jail.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

*throws*

*throwing*

*pickling*

*pulls*

*pfft*

*sniff*

*throwing*

*throwing*

*throwing*

*throwing*

*throwing*

*throwing*

*pulls*

Thank you.

Did you know that I speak so well?

that when I speak,

It travels, my voice travels at the speed of sound.

Did you know that?

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

And you can always see me because the photons that bounce off my skin travel at the speed of light.

Isn't that impressive?

You can get a whole water from a guard.

No guards.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why, coffee contest?

I've already had my coffee maker. I don't need hot water.

because I'm not a little crybaby like you.

scared of eating his spoonful of coffee.

What am I, your fucking butler? Yeah.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Moraine

Morning coffee, eh? Yep.

Spoonful of morning coffee.

Thank you.

Keeps it nice and refreshed.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

How was it?

Thank you.

Keep your combat ready. Keep your blood pressure nice and high.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

I guess it was an efficient way to have a nice morning coffee, to be honest with you. Instead of making it, stirring it. It was very efficient. Mixing it.

It's too hot to drink.

This was the way.

I'll be in the same.

Amen.

Floor's drying.

Thank you.

We'll be in today's training. We've got more letters to do.

Wow.

Thank you.

Nah, I might cancel today.

Thank you.

Reading letters, training, eating lunch. I might cancel all of it. Just cancel it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Have a nice relaxing day in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

15 more minutes to the floor.

Mm-hmm. Who's counting? Who are you, Mr...

Mr. Time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

What's two plus two? Four. No, you're wrong, it's five.

Thank you.

Why is it five?

you have to write there's two things

And what's five minus two?

Thank you.

I'm asking you what 5 minus 2 is. So if you add 2 to that, it's 5, right?

Thank you.

so

You're right. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So you apologize to me.

Okay.

I'm not holding.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Did you know I hold the world record?

For the most steps walked.

from bed.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

So,

Don't I? Who has ever walked up any steps in bed before?

Until me.

Pretty sure I invented that technique.

Thank you.

Okay.

Ah, pacing up and down, that old ticket.

Okay.

Something's never changed, friend.

Thank you.

Why were we in jail for three months?

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

TikTok.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

I have an actual question about the crimes we're accused of in general, not about the case specifically.

Everyone knows that human trafficking means buying and selling people.

usually to force them to work into prostitution. That's what it means in every country in the world.

If what we're accused of is stealing money from TikTok creator funds,

Why did they name it human trafficking?

And why have we been called human traffickers for 15 months?

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Because, like, surely if I went to Aiden Ross's house and nicked money from his Twitch streaming fund,

they wouldn't say I human trafficked him.

Yeah, it's a horrible attempt to slander your name.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jail's a low-energy environment.

I think if you tried to be high-energy in jail, you'd end up fucking...

smashing your head against the wall.

Thank you.

You would.

Thank you.

No, I wouldn't.

Thank you.

So we don't have any Judge Judy.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Most important life advice I've ever received.

It was from Rory.

Thank you.

I doubt that.

Whoa!

He gave him the most important life advice ever. He said, no matter what happens, Tristan, you can't trust your brother.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank

Okay.

Thank you.

Did you hear me?

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

*

- Bye.

you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

I

He's right.

Thank you.

Who worry?

Yeah.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So, I'm going to break what you need to do.

I didn't want that bread. That's right. You want to do a fucking thing? Actually, I was saving that bread for later.

You know you can't, I'm eating it. I'm gonna burn your feet with my lyre.

Did you hear me? I mean you're too scared to set your beard on fire.

Thank you.

If I had my jail beard, I would light on fire to prove a point.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Counting low.

You forgot about the county you love, didn't you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I might ruin my fun and read all my super chats now.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Watching the G's sleep is substantially more entertaining than watching Aiden Ross.

Probably true. Thank you, Andre Poulet.

you

Thank you.

you

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Joe says thanks for transforming me.

Lost my path at 22 after dad's passing. God rebuilt me through you. I'm unbreakable at 24 starting a company with my brother.

Thank you.

Turbo Terps, so this makes you feel connected to Andrew Watson's sleep. He feels like Watson's clan leadership back in the day. Makes him more real and more authentic.

I do sleep, even though I have a cybernetic organism now. I used to not sleep, I started recently.

Thank you.

I'll share it with you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can you imagine in 10 years how many rich successful millionaires there are going to be in the world?

who all have our backs and like us. - 'Cause of us, yeah.

Make them rich.

Thank you.

Right now it's hard because we've got millions of fans, but I'm telling you, in 10 to 15 years' time, there'll be men in positions of power, politicians...

people who all grew up watching our shit.

Sure.

We're not going to grow up to be geeks, are they? Listen to us. You're a geek.

You're a big. You look like a big. You look like a big.

Thank you.

You look like,

more of a geek than Matt Shea.

Bye.

- Okay.

Thank you.

I thought it was wrong, I'm gonna smoke another cigarette. Here, smoke a cigarette. I'll try. Smoke a cigarette while it dries, obviously, because the heat of the cigarette coming off of your face will assist the evaporation on a micron level.

Are you listening?

micro evaporation of the floor. It's very important that you smoke that cigarette.

Mm-hmm.

*snap*

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

out.

.

See, now we're doing something.

Now we're doing something productive.

Now we're getting somewhere. Exactly.

Look how much the dry the full looks already.

because the micro heat from the lighter

increases this room's temperature.

The thing is about temperatures, and I'm really worried about this, Andrew, generally. I'm very scared about climate change.

Thank you.

I feel like we need to do more with our massive fan base.

to help climate change.

we get mailing at 4:00 p.m. if you don't want to send more mail after inspection is nice okay

So yeah, seven.

Your male are going to hate.

Anyone wants to send more? More messages, more mail. Appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But the climate change, Andrew.

Thank you.

Okay, we need to fix it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't you think?

The climate is changing.

And we need to fix it.

Thank you.

*pulls*

Thank you.

Thank you.

How are you going to make sure your sons don't grow up as dickheads when you're a billionaire?

Because you'll be a billionaire by the time you have any sons that reach an age that you need to take some things. Easy work.

It is actually very easy, isn't it?

Let's kick a little bit of shit out of him.

teaching a lesson about the real world.

Make sure they have no money.

Yeah, I have friends who own Starbucks franchises and shit here. You work here. This is your job.

get a friend in the UAE government to get him a job sweeping the streets.

for 20 bucks a day in the hot sun.

This is the real world. You want something? You make 20 bucks a day, go and sweep the streets.

Massa.

Watch out.

Nice. Thank you guys. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Nice.

Thank you.

I have masks off.

Okay.

Bowl of potato soup.

You know,

They're doing a good job, they've really nailed the authenticity. Lukewarm.

potato soup with one single piece of chicken in it yeah it's master time

*crash*

Thank you.

I did tell them to make sure this... What the fuck is this?

of spork. It's an abomination.

So fork one side and the spoon is the other side. It's like fucking transgender. Is this you?

Did you do this? This is something to do with you, isn't it?

No. It must be.

This is a fucking disgrace.

I've seen a spork before, but I've never seen this level of degeneracy in an eating utensil before my life. And I am strongly suspecting you as the culprit.

I'm not that.

You must have something to do with this. I didn't manufacture that.

Thank you.

I don't own an Indian plastic bag. Is this what you use to eat on your little spaceship?

You kneel.

In a gravity-free environment, I don't imagine you'd use. Oh, gravity-free, huh? So they're just floating around everywhere all around you. You and Neil naked.

flying around the universe with these, flying in between your private parts.

They're fucking weird.

Thank you.

This soup is really horrible and salty.

- Thank you.

Yeah, we did say make sure the soup isn't delicious.

And it's not.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I didn't watch all of it. One more time.

You do more to all of what? Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining how there's a gender spectrum. Explain again, how does he use a scientist? So he says XYX, he must acknowledge chromosomes, right?

He says, "XX chromosomes, XY chromosomes,

He tries to use the old ad that gender and sex aren't linked, which they are 100%.

And he says,

that

You could feel 80%. I could feel 80% like a female one day and wear makeup. I could take my makeup off and feel like I'm 80% male.

And he said that because in this country we have something called the pursuit of happiness. I read it somewhere. The pursuit of happiness is in the American Constitution.

He said that why does it

If I have the pursuit of happiness and I want to believe I'm a man or a woman and my gender is fluid, what business is it of yours and why are you so strongly opposed to it?

is basically his point.

And I'm like, "Pursue of happiness, I don't think the sun's a star, I think it's a planet." What the fuck?

So he's fully clucked out and sold out to his sleep. You know what I think? Here's what I think.

I reckon he's bejeeking on his wife, homosexual affair, something that they have on him, and as on the loudest voices in science, they said, read this script.

I don't think he's doing it out of the goodness of his heart because he cares about the fucking trans community. I genuinely think...

that somebody important had some dirt on him because everybody besides us seemingly has skeletons in their fucking closet. Everybody. Homosexual affair aboard a starship traveling around the solar system. No, loser.

Tor.

to Venus and Jupiter?

Anyway, I reckon they have something on him. I'm on to you, mate. Do you want me to make your coffee with my apocalva?

Okay.

I've got apicala.

Would you like a coffee?

Apicaldo pentru cafea.

Hold on.

The only one, the only guy who's stuck by his guns, who rejects God in the way that he thinks that he's living completely, everything has to be fact-based, everything has to be fact-based, oh, we're not sure about the Bible and the Quran, but the only atheist who's rejected God,

He's saying,

I came to the conclusion, Andrew. Atheism isn't a lack of belief in God.

atheism is actually a cult of devil worship.

And years ago when I was an atheist, I didn't believe this was true.

I used to believe of course they're not devil worshippers because devil worshippers you don't believe in the devil if you're an atheist because when I was an atheist I didn't believe in any devils.

But let me tell you something. If you purport to be an atheist and your reasoning is that you have a worldview that rejects faith and is completely based on what we can measure with human instruments and human science, despite the fact that we're probably still very primitive compared to where we're going to be. If that is your worldview,

then you should reject things like men or women and women are men immediately. In fact, you should be the first to reject them.

out of all the people in the universe. But the fact

that all of these famous atheists are all now saying men can get pregnant, women can have penises. Just goes to show that it is a cult of degeneracy.

and a cult of devil worship. It's nothing to do with a disbelief in things you can't prove. Clearly, one man

Richard Dawkins stuck to his guns.

He's the only one. He's the only one who asked,

when asked about transgenderism can be men be women and women be men he went no no i'm a biologist no

Fair play to him. Grumpy old Englishman as well. Yeah.

Fair play to Richard Dobbins. Credit to him for dying on that sword.

I remember telling you before they all sold out, but I remember literally saying, "Yieldinggrass is not smart."

Why does anyone say he's smart? He's not smart, he's just a dork.

- Yeah. - I knew it.

I'm never wrong about anybody ever. I can see into their souls.

But it's a spectrum.

Thank you.

I want to hire Tony Jaa from Ong Back.

to float through life. Anytime anyone says it's a spectrum, it just flies out the corner of the room.

flying elbow.

Well, actually it's a spectrum, boom!

Yeah.

And then he does the thing with his hands wrapped. - Tony Joffre, I'm back, yeah. I think that's the solution. - I think he might fix it. Every time we say it's a spectrum, he comes flying into the spinning elbow. Bang.

Might pull on board your little pretty spaceship.

- I'm gonna make a television series. - I'm gonna make a television series better than your television series. No matter what happens in your television series, mine will be better. It'll be double, double the amount of characters, double the amount of words,

double the amount of scenes, double length, no matter what you do, I will surpass you.

Go on. Go on. Make something. What's going to happen to your little show? Your little PP show.

Go on, take a little pee pee. Take a while. It's gonna be a bad man.

It reminds me about two men named Andrew. It reminds me about two men called Andrew.

Thank you.

Thank you.

who go to jail twice as long.

How long do you think you could be the same in this room?

Married two days.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

You could do another 92 days

Tristan.

Allah is the best of planners if he decides we have to go back to jail for years.

That'd be nuts. After all the fucking... After everyone now knowing it's a scam and Kandesow is completely exposing...

how someone was set here to set us up, and how they found no evidence so came up with a TikTok story.

and no one's ever been trafficked anywhere. It would be wild if they sent us to jail.

while

Thank you.

It's a wild world.

Ooh baby, baby, it's wild. Why aren't me and you scared or intimidated by this? By these people? Because we don't know if we're a fearful man.

It's not who we are.

survivors. It's not, is it? In the Warriors Code, there's no surrender. 99% of people would be scared in our situation. We put ourselves in jail for practice. Spirit cries never.

Deep in our souls, a quiet ember. No, it's you against you. It's the paradox that drives us all.

It's a battle of wills in the heat of this hell.

It's the passion that kills. Why do we just sing it? You know what?

That's our ultimate victory. So forget that they made us a lot more famous. Forget that they galvanized our fan base. Forget that next year we're probably going to make more money than we would have ever made if they hadn't done this to us. Forget that everything that they've done has had the opposite effect.

The worst thing for these nerds

Must be.

that they haven't upset us.

I mean, you could have at least upset me.

I'm fine, mate.

A little bit of jail, fuck you. Cigarettes.

Can't stop me from moving.

If they find somewhere buried in old communist Romanian law somewhere, a precedent that allows them to stop me from smoking cigarettes, they'll give me.

Thank you.

*whistling*

I miss. I'm over here.

- So, Blake, race morning to join there.

Whoa!

Who's the pen?

*whistling*

Shit.

He fucking got me.

cigarette.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There's a cigarette.

in my Bible for a smoking thing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I better smoke it.

There's a cigarette.

in my Bible. He planted one there.

Because he knew I'd find it. Because he knew at some point I was going to open the Bible. Where's the pen, you stupid cunt? I asked you a question.

You had it last. Why don't you fuck off, okay? Just fuck off.

No one likes you in the world.

I don't know where the pen is. I lost it on purpose.

We need a pen, what's the pen?

Fuck off.

Must be over there.

on the desk with the things.

Thank you.

But you know, that's a lie. I did have it, didn't I? I sat down here, pretending to write my imaginary embassy that was completely useless to me.

Exactly.

Thank you.

Mind our own embassies want us in jail.

All right.

You know the cool thing about this story? I'll allude to some spoilers, I'll allude to some.

A year and a half ago,

Meaning you knew that somebody was sent here to lie and the evidence was clear that they lied. We weren't allowed to say it.

Other people have now leaked it, that's good.

We've actually known all of this crap and we're sitting there being asked about human trafficking saying I can't talk about the case.

knowing that the accusation is that we stole from a TikTok creator and there's no money in the file. We've known this the whole time and we haven't been allowed to say it, which is nuts because now the world's waking up being like, whoa, what the fuck?

Thank you.

When this is all over,

The shit that we'll be able to tell the world about why this is all happening will blow everyone's minds...

Because all that information is inside my brain already. I just can't say it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When I was in jail and they took me out to the press and I handed that piece of paper to the press, it went viral. It was Tristan pulls a stunt.

And I said, I'm in jail because my two friends made TikTok videos in 2021. And they think that I forced them to make the TikToks. That's why I'm in jail.

Everyone read that letter and the press all dismissed it. The next week it was still "Maybe they've been kidnapping."

No, I need to admit things. Charges have been filed, and that's what the charges are.

I've been doing crimes behind your back. You've been doing crimes behind my back the whole time.

What crimes have you committed, Andrew?

Confess your sins.

I confess to stealing from Bewitched.

But you won't face them face-to-face, will you? Tell me what crimes you've committed. Will you face bewitched face-to-face?

Yeah, sure. What crimes are you committed? If you promise you'll meet them in person. I promise. I'll reach out to them on the text.

And I'll see what they say.

You owe them 10 pounds, man. I know I do.

I'll pay your debts.

Thank you.

So?

What crimes have you secretly been committing behind my back? Loads. I hope you haven't been human trafficking anymore, because then we're far. Yeah, I have, yeah.

Shit.

Rory Bailey, all the guys here, they're all human traffic.

Fuck.

before we have TikTok.

I think so.

All right.

And just like our other victims, you've stolen $0 from his creator fund. Correct, yeah. Shit, that's human trafficking.

Fuck!

We're in real trouble now.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What are we going to do?

*shrug*

Thank you.

Thank you.

The floor is dry, yeah. The floor is basically dry, yes.

Five minutes.

I'm going to do hundreds of bicep curls with these multiple tools.

Thank you.

Wow.

Bye.

Thank you.

Jailhouse Aikido right there, that's what that is. It's a bit complex for the normal man to understand.

It's quite a complex...

scenario.

Thank you.

That soup was actually horrible. It was almost inedible.

Very authentic.

authentically awful. Yeah.

I mean, we do have gourmet chefs working at our house.

And I told them not to make the chefs make a nice soup.

I had to enjoy my real inhale from the whole fucking mood off.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And we have no attractive prison guards to flirt with.

I just flip that prison guard over the top.

Oh no, she's done.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, I bet jail misses me.

I thought J.O. was exciting when we were there.

It was a big thing.

Crowds outside.

It was sexy.

You know, it's a cool story.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I bet jail's rubbish. He's filled with criminals.

I guess as it should be. I guess jail should be boring and filled with criminals.

all exciting and filled with innocent men.

That would make sense.

Thank you.

When do I spill water on the floor again? To fuck with your schedule. I don't like you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why don't you like me?

many reasons.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I remember how Jayden tried to do push-ups on his screen, and it was the worst thing ever.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Someone's fucked with one of my plate balls look.

Thank you.

this.

has more water than the other one.

So I'm going to have to fill it up and balance it.

I'll show you guys the art of jail workouts.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

I

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad*

When you're free from jail, what car are you going to drive and where in the world?

Lotta off a cliff. Don't fuck with my lotta. You can throw yourself off a cliff all you like.

You leave my lot alone.

Okay.

All right.

Ow.

Thank you.

you

*clap*

-

*laughs*

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

*sigh*

Yeah.

All right, how did you get workouts now?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

*clap*

Thank you.

I don't know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

40, then 30. Now 40.

Thank you.

And 30, go back and forth, 40, 30, 30.

All the way to a thousand so 170 so far.

Thank you.

Next set, 40 to 110.

Thank you.

you

We have lots of time.

Lots of time.

Thank you.

And use that stick as a bar, put both these in it.

That might work.

Thank you.

It's not enough time to grow my beard. Might stay in here until I have the same beard as I went in 92 days.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Amen.

What negative effects, if any, do you think jail had on you?

I think it only had positive effects.

I know I missed a look on the bright side.

What negative effects did jail have on you?

Your kid's missing...

month and months of my life.

Thank you.

That's unacceptable for the kids.

But what bad?

actually happened because I went to jail.

lost probably 50 million dollars

2000, 3000, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

*laughs*

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Okay.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

110.

Okay.

Thank you.

All right.

*sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*phone ringing*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Christ.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

You could travel back in time anywhere.

Where would you go?

Two different scenarios. One, you had to try to blend in.

And two, you had an invisible ship that could run around and look at things, but you weren't.

Thank you.

I fear 1000 in England would just be tents. Shit.

Villages. Cool to see London but I guess it's going to be... shit on the streets. Building and...

of us are going to be

The cathedral's from Phil to say you later. If I had the blend in, yeah, ancient Rome. Just don't speak, walk around the streets, try and get into the Colosseum and watch the flights.

It was free.

free entry, just get there first.

Was it? Yeah, it was fresh.

Thank you.

If

I had an invisible ship and I could travel around and just watch things.

I'd watched the campaigns of Napoleon.

fighting in Italy and Czech Republic and

or modern day check about it.

Austria-Hungary.

Russia I'd watch that that'd be super interesting.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

They're all in a stand, have a coat.

Is it wrong if someone doesn't have a Coke? Yeah, go back to the 1950s.

I'm not sure you do both of those things today.

This coffee is pretty good.

Thank you for making me a coffee, Andrew.

Next coffee's on you, friend.

no fucking way

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm glad people can see this 24-hour stream.

Because I don't think anyone understands...

how boring and non-event... jail is, or was.

"We went to jail for three months." It sounds like a cool story.

like something exciting happened.

It was literally this.

All right.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Stick around.

Got ya.

assassinate it, do your push-ups.

Thank you.

My intention was actually to not go over there. Fine, just do your workshops.

scared

.

Why?

Why would you be scared of the push-ups?

Thank you.

Okay.

*clap*

*pain*

Thank you.

Conduct yourselves.

Go on then. Give me the bird.

It's fine.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I

So go, yeah.

How does that make you feel? Honestly.

Thank you.

- No.

Thank you.

Right, crying prisoners.

Bye.

I'm going to go.

nice and realistic

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

uh

*laughter*

Oh.

*crickets*

Shut the fuck off!

I'll give you something to cry about, you cunt.

-

I'm

*laughs*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Go play on a loop right here.

*laughter*

Thank you.

*coughing*

ah

- Oh, stop.

*crying* As long as I wish the guards would let the crybabies in my room.

*gasp*

I can cry for real.

Why do people cry in jail?

- If you wanna go home. - Maybe it doesn't help, does it?

I've tried it. What? Crying? Worth a try. It's not worth a try though, is it?

I'm never going to let you go after you cry. It might sound so very long.

-

You sure?

Well, I didn't try.

*sniff*

Oh, no, let's try me.

Go on.

Go on, you cry. You cry, let us out. I don't know how to cry. I'm actually incapable of crying.

I'm too manly.

*crying*

Thank you.

I'm gonna have a cigarette and ignore the crying. Remind me of the good old jail days.

-

Where's my light there?

Bye.

Be going in the corner.

*coughs*

*laughter*

.

You know the best thing about Jay?

When I was in your room, me and you had no electronic devices and just had to talk to each other. That was the best thing about Jay.

It's the worst.

Fuck you.

Stop talking to me. I wish you had an electronic device so you could go back to ignoring me.

- Yeah.

*laughter*

everyone who's tracking 180 now 40 30 40 30 40. how many

180. - Where's the rest of the darts of the alley,

-

Because I know you think you're an athlete and a sportsman, but really, can you compare yourself in terms of great British sportsman to someone like Phil the Power Taker?

- -

Or Steve Beaton, the housewife's choice.

Thank you.

Your mate stopped crying. Maybe he's killed himself.

Amazing.

Thank you.

*scoffs*

So I know you're the four-time kickboxing world champion. That's for your cue.

But you do know

that you've been beaten and transcended on all levels,

by tilde power tailoring.

Thank you.

Oh.

Wow.

He's like 17-time world champion.

Amen.

Wow.

What's funny?

*sniff*

Michael Van Gerwen would beat you up.

Thank you.

The power.

John Blue Walton would beat you up as well

Or Martin Wolfie Adams. They'd be the super most famous people in any British pub. But there's just no pubs left. That's the problem.

Yeah.

Well, Pop's gone.

It's a real shame.

pub cultures that

Pubs were great.

I think electronics kill pubs.

too much interconnectivity, you don't have to go down the pub to mix with the society anymore.

and do it on Reddit, I'm a loser.

Fucking hell.

It is for losers.

Thank you.

-

British pub culture is the best thing about England.

Yep.

Thank you.

England was so awesome just 25 short years ago.

England was fucking incredible.

Yep.

It's 1999 London.

You're walking around the streets. You're safe. No one's going to stab you.

people out

social, sociable, friendly,

what a great country England was.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Even though you don't drink, you could have enjoyed a nice day down in the pub, you know?

send the beer going.

lime and soda, slice of lemon,

Packers scampi fries.

*poof*

Life is good.

Remember when we used to go down to Leicester Arms for steaks every two or three weeks, and we had 20 pounds to buy a steak with?

Now we eat steak.

Basically every day.

We eat the most expensive steak there is basically five or six days a week.

No, no, it turns out.

Well, today we don't.

And not in jail, we didn't.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

You need to go after the set. Hardens your own muscles.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

220.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I

It meant that you forgot how to use a pen. I just used it. And what did you write? 220. You don't know numbers.

Thank you.

So suddenly you know numbers now. Here, count to one. One cigarette.

Thank you.

and move in.

Who will fight you or the Count of Monte Cristo?

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Count of Monte Cristo would be even a fight.

Okay.

*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

*Mmm*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

That's a solid feeling.

Try tomorrow.

Thank you.

You might be in jail tomorrow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Alt-T.

are.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

For a new house in the library we need a writing desk and an obnoxiously expensive pen.

What are you going to write?

for threats.

threatening letters

Nice, nice. Threatening letters to members of the neighborhood for small reasons. Parking. Yeah.

very, very upper class, very

dignified, very threatening. Very threatening.

and call our actions preposterous.

Thank you.

I'm going to say that they don't park their cars where they should.

gonna

I'll issue them a royal hiding.

Yeah, I think just a threatening letter desk.

-

right threats to the various people in my life who I dislike.

spend my days writing threatening letters.

Bet you get good at it over time. Yeah, bet you get really good at it.

Yeah, because you want to be too samey, samey.

You work on your technique.

you know,

Oh, man.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

-

Okay.

Thank you.

*thud*

*thud*

Thank you.

Ah.

What did I do when I was born in jail? A nice little relax. A nice little lie down. You can always have a lie down in jail. That's the thing.

When you're working your normal nine to fives, like I have done for many years of my life, you can't just...

Stop what you're doing and lie down, can you?

Often, though.

That's like a privilege reserved for toddlers. Once you get over like four, you can't really just lie down all the time.

true.

but in jail,

You got 10 lie down today, you know?

It's true.

*coughing*

So tell me, what was the hardest thing about jail?

Shut up.

Thank you.

I'm going to make a shank. I'm going to manufacture a shank.

The pursuit of happiness.

defies science, okay?

That's not true. The pursuit of happiness does not defy science.

you

But Pursue Happiness, Andrew, does not.

Defy Scythe. It's so fucking hot in here. I'm gonna take longer between my sets. Because it's so fucking boiling hot.

And then when I was in jail, you know the worst thing about being hot or being cold? You think you'd instantly like the opposite one.

I remember Jay on a super cold, I thought, I just wish his room was warm.

I just wish this room was cold.

Thank you.

There's no air calling in here.

Jail would be hot if we were there now, though.

No Eric on there either.

big brick building.

Thank you.

Two words collide, rival nations, it's a primitive pact.

.

Do you think the idea of jail was to get us to confess to crimes that didn't happen?

Bravely we hope against our hope.

There's so much at stake.

There's our freedoms up against the road. Let me ask you a question. Let the crowd understand. I'll ask the question. Is it east versus west? All right, I'm not talking to you. I'm man against man. I'm going to sleep.

Can any nation stand alone? It's blanket soundproof.

in the burning heart.

Just about two bursts.

Thank you.

There's a quest for answers and unquenchable thirst.

In the darkest night.

Rising like a spire.

Thank you.

In the burning heart, Tristan Tate is a dork.

I wanna ask a question about crime.

in general and motivation.

what would have to be in it for you?

to commit any crime.

Let's say a crime that can...

Let's say a crime that will give you two years in jail.

What would have to be

the motivation, the benefit for you to do that crime.

and maybe get caught.

Free Bewitched CD.

Because I wouldn't do a crime for a billion dollars. You wouldn't.

I do account for $1.

Thank you.

Well, murder someone. Correct.

I got a girlfriend with TikTok for a dollar.

From now on, every time I meet someone who has TikTok, friend or girlfriend,

I'm going to make them give me $1. So I human traffic them. Nice.

Rory, Bailey, everyone with social media. I'm going to tell them when to do a post and take $1 from them.

Thank you.

*laughs*

Thank you.

What a stupid case.

Thank you.

They know it's stupid. They don't care.

Yeah, true.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Who are we having in jail with us next month?

*sniff*

Thank you.

Are we just going to use our friends or are we going to invite other famous influencers?

to jail.

*sniff*

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Well,

Thank you.

I have any friends.

And me or you?

Ew.

*sad*

You don't have any friends.

Thank you.

260 push-ups so far.

Who are we inviting to jail? I want everyone at home to track this. I did. 40, 30, 40, 30. 40, 40, 40.

It is tracked. 260. It's on film.

Oh, yeah, it's true.

How's it not tracked? 260. 740 to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who are we bringing into jail next month on the 12th?

Thank you.

Well?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We got deep! We got deep! We got deep! We got deep!

We are free! We are free! We are free! We are free!

You know these are sound bites from real protests that happened.

3 top G

Free Top G. Free Top G.

Nah, keep him in jail.

That does give us happiness, doesn't it? We heard people screaming for Etoll G.

There are protests in Australia, Greece, London, lots of places.

That did bring us joy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

to know that the world understood we were innocent

Can't see the chat.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Free Top G.

Free Talk Chi.

Free Top G.

I'm always free.

Thank you.

My mind is free.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to read the book of Revelations.

Okay.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Okay.

*clap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

you

so

MR KIRBY: Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer. Behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison.

that ye may be tried, and ye shall have tribulations for ten days.

Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.

Revelation 10, 2, chapter 10. Chapter 2, verse 10, my bad.

The devil threw us in jail, Andrew.

I have seen the face of Satan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Okay.

*sad music*

*shriek*

Thank you.

*shriek*

*Clears throat*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Clears throat*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

there's actually a call croak here

Was that actually a cockroach crawling in my bed? Yeah, look.

I'm not joking, Andrew. I think it must have come in from the garden. Either that or Rory's dicking with us.

Thank you.

It's food bro, as soon as food's around. Huh?

As soon as food's around. What? As soon as food is around, bro. There's food. You got eggs on your bed and shit.

No way. How legitimate is that? Nah, it's only a tiny little bug. I don't think it's cockroach at all. I think it's some sort of firefly.

Killed him though.

Nah, it's not a cockroach, I can tell you a cockroach, it's a beetle from the garden.

Well, that's authentic at least.

.

This isn't food brother, this is eggshell.

Thank you.

Walk on them.

I don't really understand what you're trying to say.

I was reading the Bible.

a beetle probably must be jail

Kimberly Bailey put a cigarette in my Bible. He got me.

Thank you.

You really fucking got me.

Can you admit that you are not an origami master?

Well,

I'm in it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

I

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughs*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-Shit.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Oh.

I pace back and forth.

Thank you.

and whilst I had a good walk, you know.

What's the longest?

Do you think I ever placed four in jail?

Three hours, four hours.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Three or four hours sounds about right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

How long should I paste one out? 92 days.

Thank you.

92 days of pacing.

you

Thank you.

Why is this room so hot?

Thank you.

Super raw.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who are you bringing in jail with us? Nobody. Nobody? Next month we just do it again.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We're going to bring people in jail with us.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You do realize last night was Saturday night, right? It was the first Saturday night we were free to do anything we liked.

Thank you.

You realize that, right?

and we stayed in jail voluntarily.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That doesn't really make any sense.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's when jail gets you. Sometimes it just gets you.

You can have plans, you know?

I mean my friends are fucked up by this.

false imprisonment

shenanigans.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- I just sleep yesterday terribly. - Yep. - Sam, two-hole craft pillow.

You snoring once or twice woke me up.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love it till someone's saying.

you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Yes.

That's my other t-shirt.

Thank you.

I'm going to show you t-shirts and swipe it this way.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Are they playing jail sound effects in the window? That's what jail sounds like.

It's a pretty good sound effect.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Next time we'll do three days.

Three days in jail. What do you think?

I feel like the soup we had was worse than the soup we ate in jail. You know why?

I feel like the suit we had in jail.

was well-intentioned people

trying to make soup as good as they could.

with Shane Greetings.

Whereas what we're eating now is badly intentioned people trying to make soup taste bad with all the possibilities they can.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Maybe we change the brief.

Make us as good of a soup you can. Your greetings are Walter Potatoes, Salt and Pepper.

Thank you.

.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm taking this shirt off, just so you all know.

the shark.

and the posters.

can be found at topg.com.

so you can actually get yourself one of these awesome shirts. Well, this one I've slept in

I've been training in, so I am changing it officially.

topg.com.

All the merchandise is

Thank you.

- That's nice.

This you can't get.

unless you fight for stormtro.

I encourage you to go do that as well.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel better now to change pressure. Why?

Because I was fighting for free from doing bicep curls. Now I'm happier.

Do I need my Bible?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

hmm

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh.

What's the matter?

Ah, let me have these friends, oh my God!

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

No.

Okay.

Thank you.

-

-

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and get the rest of the day.

I'm

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Gasps*

Thank

.

Yes.

AHHHHH!

*BOOM* *BOOM* Fuck!

Let me out!

Ah, shit!

.

Oh, shit.

Do you think he's going to get out? Yeah, I think it will work. I think everyone who ever kicked off a jail got out.

Because we sat there calmly. They didn't let us out.

That's why we did 92 Days. If we just screamed and shouted...

We would have got out too.

you

you

I'll be right.

Next time we go to jail, we kick off.

Scream and shout. Scream and shout.

Thank you.

I think it might work.

Amen.

Thank you.

They were too calm about it all.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Perfect.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Uh.

*Sigh*

Amen.

.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

that way.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Take brothers! Take brothers! I want three cigarettes from Take Brothers! So you know my people!

He's been listening to our jail.

Thank you.

- Do you give me cigarettes and come again? - Listen to me, Christian! I want cigarettes! - Well, in jail, they were a lot friendlier. - Take my... I am take my... - They were a lot friendlier when they asked us for cigarettes in jail, a lot more respectful. - Not all the time.

Five secret ends.

Thank you.

Jake Roberts, Jake Roberts.

You hear me, please stop.

But instead of a bad Russian accent, they just spoke Romanian.

Thank you.

I'm going to read this again.

But not now.

Thank you.

Amen.

you

you

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm sorry. Can I have just one secret? Please, Tristan, please.

Come on, I'm sick of that.

I'm not listening to these people. You give me a cigar. I know you can hear me, Tristan. You give me a cigar.

*thud*

Give me a cigarette.

Please, brother, please.

One secret!

He doesn't want cigarettes. Give your mate a cigarette.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I slip one through the door.

I don't know where he is.

Put it in that window.

Thank you.

Thank you, Matt.

They listened to our jail stories.

and are doing a very good job.

of the jail experience.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now I am Tate Mafia. Anyone want to mess with your taste, they mess with me. I'm a cigarette now.

Maybe you should tell the audience about who that really was.

There was a real man in jail who did this exact same thing.

He was poor and had no money. And after I gave him cigarettes to help him out and make him feel better, he walked around the prison threatening people, saying he is now with the Tates.

And if we start a fight on him, that all of us are going to beat him up. Despite the fact that me and Andrew were locked in a different cell than him,

So we had no way of helping him in his fights.

Thank you.

His name was Mustafa.

You had no way of helping him. I did.

Thank you.

And he walked around the jail, threatening everybody with us, saying that we were going to beat him up.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Mustafa love Tristan take for a cigarette. Anyone met the Tristan they are dead. Or Andrew.

I'm sick, Matt, you know. Who wants it?

Thank you.

Mustafa Latrista. Pretty accurate.

It's pretty good, yeah.

It's like for some reason this fake Mustafa speaks perfect English.

Nothing fake, mate. What are you doing?

Thank you.

Yeah.

It's exactly the same as jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What antiques are we gonna buy to furnish our new houses?

Amen.

Amen.

Buy a few more houses. What antiques do we need?

I need a musket or a rifle fired at the Battle of Waterloo.

I need one of those.

I do need one.

That has to happen.

um

What are you going to buy?

Thank you.

I believe in worldly treasures, mate.

Thank you.

You don't believe in worldly treasures.

No.

So you are not materialistic. Correct.

um

You have four of the same supercar, three of the same diamond watch,

that's to stop others from getting them because i don't want other people to be materialistic

I'm trying to save the world.

So let me get this straight. If hypothetically, because obviously we have no cars, but if hypothetically we have 42 cars,

Us buying them and then locking ourselves in jail is a way of helping people

Fight climate change.

and reduce materialism.

because we own them.

but we lock ourselves in jail instead of drive them. Correct.

We're saving the world little by little, bro.

Little by little, my friend. You truly are selfish. Selfless.

We're truly selfless man.

You buy.

a massive percentage of the world's supercars, more than anyone really needs.

and you

keep them undriven and you lock yourself in a room. Exactly.

kind of like hermits of really expensive churches back in the day when they had gold and all the things that

were accessible in all the worldly treasures of man,

They would just not really eat and just pray all day and lock themselves away.

Exactly.

Is that you now? Yes.

Andrew the Hermit

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

All right.

It's a good idea.

you are saving the world because think about it if you bought every car on earth yeah and you owned every one

and you locked yourself in jail, no cars will be driving.

So you're doing your bit.

Obviously we don't have any cars.

But theoretically, if you had over 40...

You've taken 40 cars off the road.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Climate change.

Wish the climate in here would fucking change his whole.

Wow.

Couldn't we have picked a colder day to do this?

I guess you don't pick your times in jail though, do you?

When it's too hot, the climate has changed. When it's too cold, the weather doesn't represent the climate.

Amen.

Global boiling.

Thank you.

global toiling

That's what they want.

global spoiling.

Global foiling

Thank you.

So you wrap the earth in foil.

to bake it like a potato.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't believe the atmosphere is real. I think it's conspiracy theory.

Tell me, have you ever seen the atmosphere?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Okay.

So you're no longer materialistic. What are you going to do with all the money that people think you have?

Of course we haven't got any money.

hundreds of millions of dollars yeah what are you gonna do with that

If you had hundreds of millions of dollars, what would you do?

put myself in a simulated jail.

Thank you.

That is what you do, isn't it?

Thank you.

I'm gonna go live in a cave.

Thank you.

on an island in the middle of nowhere.

how much are private islands? Epstein ruined private islands, didn't he?

I'm probably on the board, bro.

You're boring as fuck.

Thank you.

But cheap.

i want now they're cheap a couple hundred grand but you got a lot infrastructure electricity food

sewage.

Set everything up there, build something there, move everyone to it.

To do what? What are you going to do that's so private you can't just do in a hotel?

We're not fucking pedos.

That's what I mean. Epstein ruined the private island. There's nothing to do with a private island. What do I do? Oh, I'm going to have sex with girls. I'll do that in my house.

I don't need to go to an island to have a threesome. I'm not a loser.

it's a good point imagine being the kind of dorky dude he's like oh it's and i got all these hot girls so i need an island what is your penis that small

You're trying to hide your small peepee that badly. From the rest of the world. From the rest of the world. From every federal jurisdiction. From civilization. So to see how short your dick is.

They can spy on me all they want and see how huge my cock is. I don't give a fuck. I have sex at my house.

Thank you.

We are kind of getting them. They're spying on us. So what we do is we put live cameras on us all the time so the whole world can watch us.

Just don't human traffic anyone.

Tell me what to do. Andrew, I've been doing TikTok, and I made some money. So I'm going to give you a cigarette, and that means I'm human trafficked. Agreed.

Thank you.

*whistling*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crickets*

- Warriors, cold, there's no surprise. - If you were a ghost, what would you do?

We've talked about this at length on a TED speech.

Tell me. I don't want your fucking Rumble channel.

We should.

Why?

'cause it was really long and detailed and funny.

And I can't be able to say it again. Nothing about you is funny.

But it explains perfectly why 99% of people who say they have a ghost story are lying about ghost stories.

Whoa!

*whistling*

In this country, we have something called the pursuit of happiness, Andrew. I'll write it somewhere.

I'm a ghost.

*crickets*

Thank you.

.

*whistling*

Thank you.

*whistling*

Thank you.

*crickets*

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to show you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

- Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Okay.

Amen.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Imagine how cataclysmically life-ending jail must be if you're not a guy like us.

Imagine you rented your house

worked a job

Imagine they just threw you in jail.

and you were working a job to rent a house where your wife and kids lived in,

and they've relied on your income and your money.

you

Thank you.

I don't know how destructive that must be.

think

40, 30, 30.

40, 40,

30, which is 140.

40, 40, 40, 260.

4T300.

Amen.

Then 40, 40, 40, 420. So you learn how to count.

plus 4T, 460, and that was just 4T.

500.

So you can count halfway to a thousand. Can you count?

- I did a thousand pushups a day in jail. You do a thousand pushups here. - Who can count higher, Mirrod? - Then I'm gonna read my mail.

A good day ahead, mate.

I'm loving it!

When the whole war comes, I'm making noodles in a bowl.

all

Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is your only chance to redeem yourself in front of the world, make noodles in a cup.

don't be a coward tristan no don't be a don't have needles in the bowl i don't believe in cups don't do it again to yourself

and to humanity.

I don't even want noodles. I just want to make them in a bowl just to prove to you that there are other ways of doing things. 500 more push-ups. Andrew, the pursuit of happiness. Read my mail.

Jail's great. Is it though? It's just like the good old days.

Thank you.

We did have good old days in jail, didn't we?

Remember when Demolition Man came on TV?

We waited three days for that movie to come on.

We did.

The first woman in the world that I've ever found myself attracted to was Sandra Bullock in...

demolition man

That was the first time I ever remember thinking a girl was home.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It was Sandra Bullock in "Demolition Man" and Gwen Stefani

in the song Don't Speak when she was still with that band of people who never became anything. You should buy a private island guilt, pedo.

I'm not a pedo. I don't want to provide. Sure. I'm very sure. Yeah. In fact, I think pedophiles should be murdered.

Can I say that on the internet? Or is that hate against the sexual orientation now?

in 2023.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Any more Super Chats and mail

All the new Super Chats.

We get

8 .30,

8.30, 9 o'clock tonight.

the next round of mail. I can't see

chat our chat on our screens frozen

too small anyway i can't see it any any uh super chats will get his mail i'm gonna go through all these and read them out

the good ones, and answer them all.

After I do 500 more pushups.

I'll read some out while we're doing that.

When I stop sweating, I'm going to do more bicep curls. I'm going to wait until later. We pick the hottest time of the day.

Get fucked.

I want to thank you both for all your wisdom you've bestowed upon the youth.

I remember the marketing campus and would love you to look into the camera and say, no, I'm not looking into the camera and say anything Dean Dollar. Sorry, mate.

So maybe in jail, but I don't know if your site is stupid.

Not doing it.

I'm really connected with y'all when you first started, and it's like I've thought and felt the way Andrew thinks my entire life from a toddler.

I request to play Missing by No Mercy.

So a song.

There's no song requests in jail, bruv, Bruce ABL.

What kind of jail has song requests? In fact, we had three really crappy music channels.

that we'd sometimes put on. And we heard over our 92 days

a total of probably five songs that we liked.

Thank you.

Andrew and Tristan are my favorite. I wish we could meet

I will become financially independent, resist the slave mind from Cody Hernandez.

Thank you.

There's a chance I can meet anyone who's sending me these one day.

But...

Eagles fly with eagles and seagulls fly with seagulls in the words of Big Hark 916.

So,

You're going to be a little seagull.

and try and fly with me, it ain't going to work.

Whereas there are lots of people in the world who I would love to meet.

because they are Gs. So we come in G first.

Thank you.

Jason has an idea for his business. This is his Instagram. Please contact me, Jason. I don't have Instagram.

And I wish you good luck in your business. But if it's a good business idea, you don't need me.

I have a business idea usually means I need some money from you. Or I don't have a good business idea. I need you to make it successful.

Your business idea is good, Jason. You'll do it without us.

Good luck.

Life is war, you have two close allies, time and attention. Time is the wise guy, attention is the fool.

Control the fall and direct him towards your goal and the wise guy will make you stronger. Jordan Shields.

Interesting.

Tristan harnesses the Chi of the bed frame and in doing so he's choking Andrew with bed frame Aikido. I think you were talking about yesterday when I was trying to control the speed of the earth to speed up and slow down our prison time.

by holding onto the bed frame.

Is that what was happening? Yeah.

I'm thinking of going back to live in Russia after 17 years living in Australia. I believe Australia is becoming like a prison.

People here are nice to the government.

Well,

SCIF CCCP.

I get that most people don't know CCCP is the Russian designation of USSR.

I do understand that.

Go back live in Russia and Australia and you where would you rather live Russia or Australia?

Depends if I was Russian or not.

Depends how much money I had. Depends how I was making money. Depends on lots of things, doesn't it?

Andrew, any aspect of Islam you're finding difficult to practice? Tristan, how has Andrew's conversion affected you since many things are off limits?

Um.

Thank you.

Andrew doesn't drink anymore. He tries incredibly hard. He takes Islam incredibly seriously. Serenity now 8.30.

i'm a full burn man lenders a full-time man i don't give a if he doesn't want to drink a vodka martini with me

I'll drink vodka martinis by myself or with someone else or on a date.

and he can do what he likes.

We'll be 40 in a couple of years. I'm going to tell him what to do and what to think.

so no I don't think any of it has been difficult for Andrew but he's still learning as all of us are

The world is lucky to have you. Matrix number win. Carter Lundy 10.

Oh.

There's a famous clip of someone blasting your theme song outside of the prison. Did you hear it? Yes, we did hear the theme song from within prison. And even now they're playing it outside of this prison.

Reyes, escape the matrix.

AdamSZ22.

Tell your brothers, peace and blessings be upon you. My grandfather has ended his life after 76 years.

His house burnt down, invented a rehabilitation exercise desk,

for you to have.

I'm not sure what that means.

But sorry to hear about your grandfather. May some blessings be upon you also.

Bye.

Book recommendation.

The Kai Balion, a book for intelligent individuals like yourself, written 121 years ago. Highly encourage checking out if you haven't already.

from Felix DuPont.

Felix Dupont.

Interesting name.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi, Gene. My brother and I suffer from a genetic neurological disease called Alivorden-Spats. You can search it on your Google and you escape. Do you have any advice? I can't advise you because I don't know the medical condition that you have.

but my advice is always going to be the same.

You know, I have a very minor medical condition, but lots of people I know have various medical conditions from diabetes to arthritis.

Work as hard as you can, become the best

version of yourself that you can and you saved my life I lost my little sister to cancer my father to alcoholism for so long I thought I was lost in life you taught me how to recover and be better

from Boiler Tommy.

Thank you.

That makes me very happy.

I'm glad.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm on a dinner date. She said you have to turn that off. I said fuck that from Hulk as fuck.

Hulk, my friend, I'm going to disagree with you a little bit. Me and my brother have locked ourselves in jail for you all to see for the next 24 hours.

I would have said my advice to you, young man, would be,

don't take a girl on a dinner date if you have something else that you'd rather be doing. I think that women who go out on dates with men, and this is why women should never pay for dates ever, ever.

Women are paying with their time and their attention and their beauty.

and how good they make you look when you're sitting opposite them.

And if she's dedicated herself at her time,

to get all dolled up and

go out on a date,

The idea of her going isn't to impress you. The idea is that she's giving you a chance to impress her.

which is pretty good of her. So

If you were really dedicated to watching this live, which I do appreciate, you should have scheduled the dinner for tomorrow night.

and taking the girl out tomorrow. I don't think it's polite or gentlemanly to be sitting there watching a live stream while on a date.

So reschedule next time.

is my advice.

I'm making around two grand a month from lessons I've learned inside of the real world.

I'll do anything to help you out.

You saved me, man. I was being tortured before. Ilya Sarkar.

Hopefully not literally tortured, my friend. Lots of different types of torture.

I hope that you're fine.

I'm glad I helped you out.

i think that my landrew's message is one of positivity

And I don't.

In fact, I've never heard of a case where someone said, I started listening to the Tate brothers, actually listening to them.

not listening to what is said about us, not listening to what the BBC purport about us,

I don't think there's been a single case of anyone ever saying,

I've been listening to the Tate Brothers and taking their advice.

My life has become worse.

I'm a worse person and the people around me are suffering more.

I don't think that could happen. If anyone does say that, they are lying.

or they are not truly following what andrew and i represent i think we're a force for good in the world and i just love getting the stories from all you millions of young men who have improved your lives

because of listening to our teachings and our advice.

So you're welcome.

and thank you for sending me these messages because they make me

realize that when I

I'm stuck in this exact environment for months and months on end, and people are trying to silence me and especially my brother.

That is worth it.

It's worth it.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, last one. Andrew's a loser from Talisman Tate.

on rumble 500 super chat for extra attention

Thank you.

Did you hear that last one?

No.

*punch*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I like your D&D t-shirt.

- Tulsi Gabbana.

- It's not Tulsi Gabbana, is it? - See what I've done there? D&G t-shirts.

Dolce and Gabbana no DNG and

Every single time one of these is bought from topg.com, topg.com, every time you buy a DNG t-shirt, Matt Shea gets an email address. He gets an email to his personal email address reminding him that he is a...

disgraced news gatherer, deluded narrative generator, and a discredited news guardian, a dork, a nerd, a geek.

The DNG. You buy these and give them to the DNGs in your lives. And that's a little picture of Matt Shea with a shopping cart, because he looks homeless all the time. He's wearing the same clothes every day.

He flies around, economy!

to different parts of the world to try to bother our friends who ignore him.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

He was this close, Andrew, to being a somebody.

if he adjusts

portrayed the War Room event.

as we know he really did portray him.

man, this really helped me. I see how this helps guys with confidence and self-esteem. And yeah, this is awesome. And, but,

you know, when he had his little snake face on.

when he was really enjoying himself,

and it made him a better person. He could have just stuck with that.

because now this imaginary case is falling apart.

and we're clearly not human traffickers.

what has he got to go on he thought hitting us was cool it's cool amongst him and his little

DNG group of friends, but the world disagrees.

He has to turn the comments off when he makes things.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Imagine.

And here's the good thing. If I was so hated, like the DNG really is, because we're not,

And every time I posted something,

Everyone typed hate at me and called me a loser.

I'm not hated. When I post something, I get...

what, 500 good comments to every bad one?

But if I was that detested,

and that contemptible and worm-like

that every time I posted something,

As a snake, everyone attacked me and called me out for being a snake and what I am.

I

and mentally strong enough to read the comments and smile and keep posting.

somewhere in his tiny bedroom at night,

after making his posts.

he reads and then he clicks comments disabled and he clicks it off

Because he can't take it.

I could take jail. I could take worldwide persecution.

I can take despite being

the father of adulterer, being called a human trafficker

For a year and a half,

So people think I buy, sell, and pimp people.

I can take it.

But he...

can't take the comments.

He has to turn them off.

I can imagine his sad little face as he disables his comments.

Thank you.

yeah it's pathetic right it's super pathetic

All right.

Thank you.

He lives in total obscurity and whenever he pokes his head above the grass, which is talking about you,

Whenever he...

ever gets noticed by anybody

during his hit pieces he does on you.

Everyone calls him a DNG and asks him for chocolates. And I think that's going to continue for the rest of his life.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who was ever going to let that man interview him again?

is

Thank you.

Oh

- Good question.

Thank you.

He turns off the comments because he can't take it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Pretty funny, really, isn't it? It's actually hilarious.

please

the comments hurt his little feelings little baby feelings

I remember when he was outside trying to negotiate his way into this house with his chocolates in his hand.

Oh, please. Hey, hey, is Andrew scared to talk to me? Shut up. Fucking DNG. DNG. Embarrassing. I'm scared of you, you little pussy.

Thank you.

Invite him back. I feel bad for him.

Come on, give him a chance. He ruined his whole life.

Well, he's ruined it himself.

He's ruined his own life and his own career.

Thank you.

I bet he never got recognized in the street ever, ever, ever until now. And I bet when he does, it's DNG, where's my chocolates?

Probably.

Probably. When I recognize in the street, "Oh, can I have a photo of you? Please just give me a hug. Give me a handshake. Man, I admire you so much." Imagine them just saying chocolates to you.

Because I don't condone bullying of any type.

But asking a man for chocolates isn't bullying. But it must hurt him.

Thank you.

Every single super chat.

You're right out. We'll get the new mail. All the money goes to Tate Pledge. We're saving the world.

after my push-ups.

Exciting.

We just have to look forward to it.

It's a real thing you do in jail. Get letters, you save them.

Thank you.

You know the rules of jail.

You know the time by the schedule of things arriving.

Thank you.

It's true.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who'd win the water drinking contest, me or you?

So you admit that you can drink water.

I can even race now if you want. I think you'll smoke me.

What, two liter race?

- It's smoke paper.

two liters of water rice.

All right, let's go.

Thank you.

Blue's Rusty is a beautiful coffee.

Oh, so does the winner. Nice. Okay. Ready?

I was standing up, huh? I was sitting down. No, no, no. I was just sitting in my office.

I can't drink things quickly. I don't know how to drink. Three, two...

One.

Half. Did that? That's not even half.

Thank you.

You win, you gluttonous cunt. Happy? You kneel happy now in your spaceship? Consuming water does not make you gluttonous cunt.

It does make me want to pee, though. Not what Neil told me. So I'm going to use the bat.

Thank you.

Papyrus is a spectrum.

I

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

*coughs*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So you lost the Great Water Race. The Great Water Race of jail.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

30 at time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

570.

Amen.

Thank you.

Bye.

So far. Have you ever seen those memes? With all the time in the world. What time is it? Have you ever seen those memes where the girl's looking at a guy on the phone? No. And she's like, he's probably talking to other girls.

Someone make a meme.

of the guy just watching the Tate livestream prison feed.

- Us sleeping. - Watching us sleep for seven hours.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Going to World's Collide.

Bravo nations. I'm singing that song. It's a primitive pack, venting years of frustration. I mean you can't drink water as well.

I mean you're scared of your stomach gets wet, you'll cry.

- Stomach gets wet and cry. - Yeah.

I'm gonna name my sons Athos, Porthos, and Aramis.

*whistling*

Did you hear me?

I'm going to name one of my sons Balthazar.

Thank you.

And now you say you love me.

Thank you.

Just to prove you do.

I want you to eat noodles from my car.

Thank you.

Doodles, tabaka.

Thank you.

- Doodles for Muffle, bar for fat.

- I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

I bet you can't name three songs.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's it. Three songs.

Correct.

You're right, I can. - Go on, name three songs.

Because you're so fucking smart.

Jingle bells. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Tim stuck on two.

66% there, 32% of fucking failures. That's all I know.

I don't know any other song.

Okay.

Thank you.

.

so

Stop fucking whistling.

Thank you.

Shut the fuck up.

Thank you.

*whistling*

*whistling*

Thank you.

Even our Master of 7 styles by Kido.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What will you do? Nothing as usual through your life. All talk.

Thank you.

Shh.

Mr. Talker, Mr. Big Talker.

And yeah, well, I'm going to go.

And yeah.

Well,

We'll take it to a thousand push-ups. I expect lots of people to send us super chats.

Thank you.

to take pledge, donate some money to take pledge for the children in Syria.

I'm doing a thousand pushups. You're a lazy motherfucker. Shouldn't do them all with me. Probably didn't even do them with me. You're all losers.

You're half a man. You would have watched his stream and did push-ups every time I did push-ups.

and at least save the starving kids. You're forced for good in the world.

instead of being a gluttonous

idiot, like my brother here, the inventor of the most disgusting utensil that's ever existed. This offends me.

Let me show the people at home that you've been doing. It is an abomination. Let me show what my brother's been doing in his spare time. My brother, along with Neil deGrasse Tyson, preparing for their space journey.

through the solar system.

decided they needed both a fork and a spoon. And unhappy with having two utensils, or the widely renowned and very well respected spork, they admitted this.

The Foon. The fuck is this? It's a Foon.

And they--

sit in zero gravity surrounded by these floating utensils.

don't you?

No.

You do. I've never met Neil deGrasse Tyson. USS Spectrum.

Pursuit of happiness. And this is bullshit. And you know it. It's disgusting.

That's why you're in jail.

For this. To be fair, if I invented this, I deserve far more jail time than I've ever served.

Thank you.

This is an abomination, isn't it?

Thank you.

Thank you.

This may be... Is this the worst thing humanity's ever done? Let me show the camera now.

No, I think that may be Andrew. The worst thing humanity has ever done.

Let me show you the camera properly. It's a fork and a spoon.

It's the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody, ever.

Look at this. This is what Tristan and Neil deGrasse Tyson want for the world. It's not.

That's why they fly around in their spaceship. This, look.

Explain this to me.

You can't. No logical man can explain this to me. No rational human.

I'm going to join the King's Musketeers.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Did you hear me?

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're going to what? I'm going to join the King's Musketeers. Okay. Okay.

Do you have a problem with that?

Admit that your real name is Cardinal Richler.

you

Amen.

Well,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

Thank you.

Who's that? The enemy of the King's Musketeers. Cardinal Richler. Sick name.

Oh, people have really good names.

back then.

Thank you.

*sniff*

*sniff*

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I need a lackey.

Thank you.

- I've decided, Andrew, I'm going to buy,

A gilded horse carriage. Hear me out.

And be squired around town. 35, 605. In a horse carriage. Yeah.

Are you listening? No. 605. Where's my pen?

I stole it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

15 more. That's even. Number 620.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

All right.

All right.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Bye.

Now we have come in Monsieur de Treville.

Thank you.

That's my name.

Okay?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't think it is. I am. I'm head of the King's Musketeers.

Captain of the King's Musketeers, Monsieur de Treville.

That's my name.

Wow.

Let's go round again.

Thank you.

Let me return back the hands of time.

Let's go round again one more time.

Stop singing that.

One more time.

Thank you.

Would you like kung fu your bed and broke it?

I wouldn't really care that much. I can't break this bed.

One strike, Denmark. Hey! Straight.

I smashed the cellar.

We're Gustaf and we need it.

I'm going to manufacture a shank.

It's mostly

disgusting thing I've created.

Okay.

Thank you.

Huh?

Amen.

Thank you.

God.

Hey. Yeah.

Okay, I bent the metal bar.

I can remove that. It's too rapid.

Thank you.

go

Thank you.

*pfff*

Thank you.

So my shank's manufacturing is going too well.

- Go bring the ladder off, let the ladder snap off. - Yeah.

*thud*

Thank you.

You should pull aside. Alright. 3, 2, 1.

That's stronger than we thought.

Ben, absolutely. I feel like standing on it would be easier. Yeah, let's try to stand on it.

Nice. Getting somewhere.

*Buff*

Nice.

my superhuman strength. Now I can just

Somehow hammer it down and coldsmith it into the shack.

*crash*

-

Thank you.

- Mm.

Yeah.

It's kinda sharp, you could cut someone with it.

kind

It's already a cutter.

I'm not sure if it's a stabber though, you know?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I need something heavier to back it with.

In fact, I'll use that ladder itself.

*thud*

*Ding*

you

*Bang* *Bang*

.

Spending, sure.

Flat, with a nice smooth blade.

You're gonna be a way of flattening it now. Flatten it and then sharpen it.

It's not that way.

It's really good, but you need

It's a bit sharp, but it's not razor sharp. You could injure someone with it quite badly,

scrape the skin off their face.

It's not excellent, though.

Who are we going to change?

So we got two here. Each other? So we got my short name.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Put the metal on.

That is a good technique.

I think I'll lift it up especially. Here from the shank.

Thank you.

Thank you.

yeah and then use this as like a

All right.

And so I just don't get the weight down.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*clap*

. . .

*clap*

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The screw isn't sharp.

and it's a little bit

Thank you.

Otherwise, if the screw is sharp, this would be a weapon itself now.

We'll get someone to the hip this year.

Thank you.

There's ways to make easier shanks, Plot.

The classic way for you ladies and gentlemen watching at home is to take a normal plastic toothbrush and spend hours just rolling it around on the floor, scraping the edges off to a nice point.

and you keep it in your sock,

safe from attackers

Unless I'm the attacker, because you're not going to kill me with the tomb bar.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Thank you.

Oh, lucky because you're a baby.

I'm not playing jail baseball.

Ooh, when the loss is you smell the odor, I mean, yeah. I'm jealous. I'm jealous.

Nice.

So all systems will be different.

good

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Woo!

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

you

Thank you.

I'm sorry out there you're reaching out to a belayer.

Thank you.

-

Felix Lair. He looks like a G. He's a tall, fair-headed...

racist Texan.

Thank you.

the Bond books, he's a G that one up there, he's not in that one though

No.

every time Phoenix Fire appears.

Thank you.

The book gets better.

Thank you.

-

Your turn to clean the cell. I cleaned last night. Fuck off you loser.

You can't turn the goulter. Give me the ladder. I'm in it.

Yes.

You're a Walter loser. Wait a minute.

I'll give you the latter if you admit that you were afraid of your stomach getting wet and couldn't even finish one bottle of water.

Admit it, say I was scared of my stomach getting wet.

Thank you.

Okay.

*thud*

The guard's gonna take our shangles during inspection.

Thank you.

I'm gonna hide my prison chain. I'm not gonna shank them first. I'm not shanking the guards.

It's the only way out, mate.

Have you tried screaming yet?

here the mic shank is disguised have you tried screaming yet

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Screw you.

- Nice.

Thank you.

How can they do this to innocent people?

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank

Here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

*Bell rings*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

to go home.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I also have a book called The Life of the Prophet Muhammad.

in the results.

Thank you.

which I started

But...

your friend

Faris Al-Hamidi recommended me a better book.

called the nectar of life, the something nectar. I thought of it.

Apparently it's much, much better than this.

So I'll read that one.

Let's escape jail.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's escape.

I'm going to go to the next one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let me read the plot of this book. This book is actually good. Smerch, the Soviet counterintelligence agency, plans to commit a grand act of terrorism in the intelligence field. For this, it targets British Secret Service agent James Bond. Due in part to his role in the defeat of Le Chiffre, Mr. Big, and Hugo Drax, Bond has been listed as an enemy of the Soviet state, and a death war has been issued for him.

His death is planned to precipitate a major sex scandal which will run through the world's press for months and leave his service's reputation in tatters. Bond's killer is to be Smearsh's chief executioner, Red Grant, a psychopath whose homicidal urges coincide with the full moon.

Kronstein, Smerz's chess-playing master planner, and Colonel Rosa Klebb, head of operations and executions, devise the operation. They persuade a young and attractive cipher clerk, Colonel Tatyana Romanova, to falsely defect from her post in Istanbul, claiming to have fallen in love with Bond after seeing his file in a photograph.

This is From Russia With Love.

- Okay.

These books are so fucking good.

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Light your beard on fire.

Thank you.

Andrew, eat a spoonful of coffee.

Thank you.

I feel like you need more spoonfuls of coffee.

time will pass faster on them.

Because the caffeine

injection.

So you

Thank you.

Thank you.

or I'll shank you.

Do it.

I have to catch him up too.

Too sweaty.

here.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- -

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

You forgot prayer, man.

Yeah.

I didn't forget it. I decided I wasn't going to pray on the stream.

.

Oh, carry on. I didn't know that.

Pray afterwards.

you

Yes.

Thank you.

*Police*

so

Okay.

with my shank

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do our persecutors not realize that sending innocent men to jail for imaginary crimes when we just want to shut them up?

has Andrew.

effectively never worked.

It just becomes part of their hero story.

-

They don't realize that.

They could have at least tempted us into committing a real crime.

somehow. But we wouldn't. We could more of them. We're uncorruptible.

I don't do crimes.

Thank you.

I'm letting my hand on fire.

Thank you.

Maybe I'm lighting my hand on fire in your mouth.

I bet you're a loser.

So every time I do a semester swing,

I'm barely on here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

What lessons did you learn in jail?

2+2 is 5. Not this jail, last time we went.

2 plus 2 is 6? You did not learn 2 plus 2 is 6 in Romanian jail.

No, who to ask most inmates will probably give you that answer.

Thank you.

.

The biggest takeaway I took from jail

is and i knew this already and you knew this already

Drugs are bad.

half the people in there, drug use is why they're doing crime.

Romania is not even a country with a drug problem.

Imagine how bad it is in the fucking United States.

Okay.

smug

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's not a word.

Stop sleeping.

Eat your coffee, loser.

Hey loser, scared of coffee.

Admit you're scared of coffee.

I'm scared of girls.

Thank you.

with Doug Douglas and the U.R.

I'm not making tea of the week. Everyone's forgot about it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why do I have a headache? Is it the heat?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Oh.

Oh.

I meant the air carbon-based life form.

No.

Admit it. I refuse. Tell the whole world.

Refuse to admit it.

Why?

Thank you.

-

Amen.

Thank you.

What?

Wow.

It's not true. I don't think your plastic cup noodle technique worked. I don't think you are now a silicon based cybernetic organism.

I'm a cybernetic organism. I think you're a carbon based life form. Oh, cybernetic organism.

Thank you.

If you're a man, I have to eat noodles from a cup. You'd understand.

Thank you.

Because you know

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

.

I'd like a cup of coffee. Why have I self-imposed this on us?

Whose idea was this?

Whose idea was jail?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to talk to you.

I'm going to read some Bible and ignore you for the rest of my jail time.

-

Also, I think that we should do six days, not 24 hours.

You listening?

Cigarettes.

All right.

relationship to.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

YouTube.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thou shall not revenge, nor bear any grunts against the children of thy people.

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

it is my team

Okay.

Thank you.

No.

that work.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

*laughter*

Okay.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

I got them all over here.

- Oh yeah, this is the power.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, hey.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

If they got that body down, if they got the role of body down,

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Fucked up with my library.

I was having a good time until I realized my legs were sick.

I blame you.

Thank you.

*Police screaming*

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

you

Thank you.

Oh, oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

uh

that we have.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

- Well, that's it.

and

Yeah.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Yes.

Thanks.

I love this one.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I heard an interesting story once.

Thank you.

about heaven.

and hell.

Thank you.

A Korean man.

He's a Christian his whole life. And he has a near-death experience where the Lord says to him,

of the

I'm going to show you.

what awaits for you in hell. And I'm going to show to you

what awaits for you in heaven.

and they take him down to hell.

And hell?

is a pleasant room.

with banquets

of delicious food everywhere but everybody in hell is starving

It turns out in hell you can eat with chopsticks. The chopsticks are all six feet long.

If you touch the food with your hand, it disappears.

you need to use the chopsticks to get the food to your mouth.

These people are tormented, century after century.

through years of hunger and years of starvation.

And the Korean man looks around and says, yeah, hell is not the kind of place I want to be.

Maybe I should change my life. Lord, can you show me what awaits for me in heaven?

and the lord takes it to heaven

and it looks exactly the same as hell.

Big banquets of food. Well-lit room. Picturesque, beautiful. Just like hell looked.

But all the people are extremely well fed.

The Korean man asks God, he says, well,

Are the rules here the same as in hell? And God says, well, yes, of course.

The chopsticks are all six feet long.

And if you touch the food with your hands, it disappears immediately.

He then looked around and saw...

all of the people in heaven,

We're feeding one another.

instead of trying to feed themselves.

I thought that was a very interesting story.

because it talks not about what hell or what heaven are, but about the nature of people.

and how life, even given the exact same circumstances,

can be made an eternal torment

or an eternal paradise...

all depending on the nature of people that you have around you. The only difference between heaven and hell in this case, the only difference

is that good people go to heaven.

and with the right people,

It's a paradise.

I heard that story years ago.

It's very profound. I think you could take a lot away from it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you asleep?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Bye.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

So to summarize my story.

Thank you.

reason I'm thinking about it as I see a ring grid is because

Jail wasn't that bad with you.

I know you were asleep.

The jail was actually fine.

because me and you were in hell together.

*Dramatic music*

That's why they can put me back and I won't give a shit.

Thank you.

-

Injustice happens every day.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

on that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

that.

*music*

*pain*

I think

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Police speaking*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You are not long from all of us.

I think I'll go through it.

Thank you.

- This is the party.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

-

.

Thank you.

Bye.

- Wow.

All.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

All right.

.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

-

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

All right.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

-

hmm

you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

And.

-

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Amen.

*sad music*

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

John chapter 4 verse 20.

If a man say I love God,

and hateth his brother.

He is alive.

For he that loves not his brother who he hath seen,

How can he love God?

Who may have not seen?

All right.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

one

-

Thank

.

.

so

Thank you.

-

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So that's right.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

- Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I

Good father.

- Thank you.

-

Thank you.

No problem.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Yes.

Oh

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh.

you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

No.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay.

*sad music*

don't leave

Thank you.

the door.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

of all.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

*clap*

Thank you.

*thud*

Thank you.

-

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*Police speaking*

Thank you.

Oh

-

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

hey

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is a fight against my family, and this is a fight against my family.

Thank you.

No.

Oh, my God.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

*Squeak*

Oh, my God.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh.

All right.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

*Rainful music*

*

- Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Yes.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

*sad breathing*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And

Thank you.

I'm not.

I

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

-

Thank you.

- Who is not?

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Burps*

Thank you.

.

much.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

oh

oh

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

world mode.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Rest.

Last one.

- Thank you.

*crying*

Oh.

Thank you.

*sad music*

*

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

laughter

-

Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh.

.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Okay.

Thank you.

Ah, tried to sleep. With the jail noise. How did that go? Loser.

Well, how did your attempt to sleep go?

I don't.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mmm, I don't know how much.

- Good morning.

Thank you.

.

Oh

All right.

Thank you.

*laughs*

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh

Thank you.

*crickets*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm?

um

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Okay.

Thank you.

.

*Piano music*

-

Hmm.

-

700

Oh, is that the answer to how gay are you out of ten?

Yeah, 700 out of 10. Great.

Now I'm tired. You've lowered the energy in my cell.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Wow.

you

- Whoo!

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

-

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Ballon*

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

and we'll let that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

- Good.

*whistling*

I

.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

*Loud grunt*

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, that's good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Oh

Thank you.

Oh.

This is the first time I was going to be able to do this.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Hey, let's go.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If they fight, they won't have a fight, they won't move by the action.

Thank you.

You are cool.

- What? - What?

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Dramatic music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Beautiful.

*Ding*

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Oh.

Hmm.

you

Thank you.

- Yeah.

We hope.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

All right.

-

Hmm.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I do.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

*sigh*

Thank you.

.

Okay.

um

Amen.

What?

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

you

you

All right.

Oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Okay.

Thank you.

Excellent.

-

I'm going to go ahead and get some more.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

*Rainful music*

Thank you.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's true.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I protect from matrix. I need two more cigarettes. Come on man.

We're making cigarettes. I know you can hear me, Tristan! You're in charge, give me cigarettes.

Mustafa need two more cigarettes that is protected from Matrix and fed mafia. Come on man. You have two more cigarettes. Come on.

- Three steps, you're my friend, three steps.

Repeat the matrix together, please stop. - Call your name, mate.

You're right.

Thank you.

- I'm okay!

Can you hear me after a tape?

Nice.

- Who's that? - Come on, man.

Give him some cigarettes. You heard the man. Nah, fuck it.

So he's my friend, not yours. So the stuff is going to beat you up. All right.

Nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Tristan, you take back, you man, I need time on that.

Two more cigarettes, man. Bye.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Why you not Mr. Mustafa, we take back there together!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

-

*Rain*

Fuck you! Fuck you, Sigrid!

Please bring the champions, press to get them!

We destroy Buck. We destroy Matrix. Come on, man.

You can give me cigarettes.

Yes.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank

so

If you don't give your mate cigarettes, they're going to beat you up and it's easier.

I'm not scared of him. I'll go see that every afternoon.

Be with you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

-

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm -hmm.

- Tristan, why you not listen to me? I need to wash cigarettes, man, fuck!

You said what's back for your friend, man? We beat Matrix together. Take Mafia. Come on. I'm expert zoning out.

I learned.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

-

800. 200 to go.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go to the next one.

*sad breathing*

Thank you.

*Piano music*

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Bye.

Yes.

so

I'm going to say it to my best son, man. Come on. I need cigarettes.

Just one more, Matt. Come. We beat everyone together. One basic.

Give me cigarettes.

You give him cigarettes. Nope, he's asking you this time. You give him cigarettes. He wants to be your friend.

Thank you.

I want you friends.

I have it anyway.

Thank you.

Okay.

Peace.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Okay.

Thank you.

peace

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

I need one more. Come on, man. We are better friends, man. We speak the matrix together. One, hit.

That's the mighty that's the right way below that mighty.

Come on!

Nice.

I

Thank you.

The guards got him to shut up. Nice. But you and him can beat the guards, take mafia.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Right? No.

Thank you.

Oh.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Please don't fuck the dogs, man. Fuck you. One cigarette. Come on.

We've been to pick the matrix together.

this is so realistic especially because I'm tired I didn't sleep, I'm trying to lay down people are screaming at me

Thank you.

Super realistic.

We need to reenact this with people. People think you just relax in jail, but you can't. You can't relax. This is so realistic.

It's loud, it's bright, it's bad shit.

Noise all the time.

I don't know where they found this ambient noise, but this is so good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You can't rest at all. It's Animal House.

Sleep around. Sleep and smoke. Be a man. All right.

You are.

Thank you.

-

Yeah, it was Animal House. So we called jail Animal House.

I just have a little cigarette farm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Super smart.

Thank you.

Wow.

Yeah, Jill's Animal House. It's literally Animal House, there's no sleep.

Sometimes the afternoon between two and five, you get asleep.

late at night between 4am and 6pm and wake you up, maybe.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you don't really sleep you just gotta close your eyes and pass the time

Thank you.

You don't have to have a moral peace for sleep.

the mental piece of sleep, you know, too much going on.

Any questions? Too much bullshit? And this has awakened me, and all my feelings of injustice and rage, so they're back. I remember that this is still going on.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

logic

um

*Burps*

*sad music*

I've lost track of time as well.

you

Thank you.

What did you actually miss in other real world? Being in jail? I don't think I missed anything.

focus I was just mad

Thank you.

-

Hard now.

Oh.

It was a good cigar rest.

I'm a little bit of this.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

You know the number I'm on?

Thank you.

One.

One, you're on one.

I wonder if anybody knows how many I'm on, and gets it right.

8.30.

*pain*

840.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

-

Thank you.

*laughter*

Oh.

May the hell party.

-

Thank you.

Nice.

Thank you.

We had a lot of girls screaming they loved us from outside the jail. Especially me. I think you mainly had men. Shut up.

Neil was screaming from outside that spectrum.

This is the funny thing, we had to go all the way back to jail, the funny thing, I'm not a millionaire guy's got the place.

Isn't it interesting?

No.

They're blackmailing him. It's a filthy pervert and they blackmailed him.

You think?

100%. It doesn't even mean to be that bad. Cheating on your wife. But it's like...

Why has everyone sold their soul? Or everyone has some big dirty secret they're scared of?

We're the only people who are just like, you know,

Tristan once said that he used to sleep with lots of women

That's how I met the mothers of my kids. Fuck off. I was in my 20s. I was a millionaire. Fuck off.

That's the worst secret you found about me. Newsflash! 20-year-old high-testeron muscular handsome millionaire has sex with women.

Oh my god. Fuck off. Get fucked. I've got no fucking skeletons in my closet. Fucking nerds.

Super nerds.

so

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ah.

you

30

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Okay.

875. When you start the push-ups in jail, you think I'm never gonna get to the end. You get to like 138 or 192 or something like

This is going to go on forever. 200, 300, 410.

not even halfway. But if you persevere, and you don't give in,

You believe in yourself.

Like the little engine that could.

You keep doing them. You don't be a coward. You don't be a bitch.

Eventually you take 175 and then you're only 125 from finishing.

Then you did 1,000.

which is the magic number.

A thousand pushups in a day.

keeps the homosexuals away. True. That is why

They must be done.

Thank you.

So I'm going to take a little stroll, a nice relaxing walk, and then I'm going to do some more push-ups.

Take a nice walk.

Where am I walking? Am I walking between my penthouses in Dubai? Am I walking to my Bugatti?

Am I walking along the yard?

- Thank you.

Where am I walking now? I'm walking in jail.

Nice. And a circle. Nice. The endless circle. But you know what? The circle never lets you down, Tristan. It's always there for you when you need it. True. When you need a stroll, the circle's always there.

I had many nice strolls around the circle. Oh, I spent hours walking the circle.

oh red light imagine i was walking deep thoughts in the circle i imagine i was walking in the transylvania mountains of the swiss helps i would actually argue that i had my most introspective

conversations with myself.

walking this circle than any other walk I've had in my life.

Thank you.

It's an important circle. It is. It's the circle of life. Exactly.

And I mean, if you can't listen to Elton John for inspiration,

Who can you listen to? He's definitely not Matrix Home.

Yeah? True.

Anyway, the pursuit of happiness, why do you care?

Shut up.

Thank you.

125.

Thank you.

A lot of my five is 25s.

Thank you.

So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do 25, which will be tiring.

I'm gonna stand up and walk two laps, then try and bust out like 10 more.

to get the free ones in you know people don't understand you're doing this many numbers you've got to sneak in the free ones

They add up over time. So you got pre decide when the free ones come, otherwise you get too tired. So we do 25 pushups, two laps of the track,

free push-ups.

Get the free ones in.

write down a number, have a cigarette,

Then do it again.

Thank you.

That's the plan.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Five.

28. 28. I'm going to do a walk. Turn the room. For a walk or two. For a walk.

Jailwalk.

Do a bit of jail. Sometimes you do nothing wrong, end up in jail. Okay.

That's how it goes. Go Jacob, that's life. Do not pass go.

Back. Free for shots. 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34,

35, 36, 37, 39, 40. Five more.

One.

One, two, three, one.

Four. One more.

Five! 45 total.

Which brings me up to 920.

Thank you.

8, 7, 5.

Tristan.

There's a lesson here for the people at home. Even in the most dire circumstances,

If you can give yourself a near impossible task,

A Herculean feat.

which instills you with anxiety and dread, once you complete it, you can feel happy.

I'm about to do a thousand push-ups, I'm gonna be happy.

Ignore, Geno.

Because I'm happy, because I did it. We were happy, Joe, weren't we? All you have to do when you're unhappy is give yourself something.

You get happy again. Plus you get the benefits of doing said difficult thing. I get to be built like Hercules.

It's great!

There's no downside.

I have a nice fucking healthy cigarette.

That's the lesson.

Oh.

Thank you.

The lesson is, there's no such thing as sad, or depressed, or bored, because you always have pushups to do. And if you finish them, you'll be happy again.

And if you get sad, you're going to do them again.

And if you feel sad, you just do a thousand more. Push-ups are unlimited.

Although,

I've almost done all of the push-ups today. If I do all the push-ups, there's no push-ups left for anyone else to do.

I'm going to do them all. Anyone in the world? Everyone in the world. I'm going to do all the push-ups.

so that no one else in the world can do push-ups.

Amen.

There's only a certain number of push-ups that exist in the universe. There's only a certain number of push-ups that exist in the universe. I'm going to do all of them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

.

Relax some cigarettes. 18 more.

80 more, I have fucking 720 to do. Only an hour or something to go. I remember the stress in my mind, because I'll never get through these fucking push-ups.

Thank you.

Hard work, perseverance.

That's all it takes to be successful in life, my friend. You know what, if we work really hard, maybe we'll have hundreds of millions of dollars.

No, it's impossible.

Thank you.

Well, me and you, being broke, working hard every day, hundreds of millions of dollars.

Nah, it's not possible.

Thank you.

We might go to jail, though. Oh, yeah, we definitely go to jail.

Let's go round again.

Right.

80 to do. So I'm going to do 40 and 40.

Nice, simple system. As many as I can. Two walks around the jail, jail walk.

Get in the free ones. Hopefully that gets me to 4.8.

Then I have one more set of pushups.

and I am done. One thousand.

Do a little bit more cigarette.

Thank you.

Then we're gonna have some noodles in a cup. Bowl. Noodles do not belong in bowls.

"Moodle's in a fucking cup," I said.

Don't push me. You don't actually care how anyone eats noodles, Andrew. I feel like you've made up an issue.

See that again.

You don't. You've made this up.

I've never seen you care ever before. In fact,

I'll go as far to say that during our 92 days in jail, you ate noodles exclusively out of bowls. I'll have it in a cup soup two times.

Nah.

Thank you.

You were bold, man.

Bye.

Thank you.

Rise ye ho then.

Let's just see where I hit the shown road.

I'm not saving this cigarette from my jail law. Let's save it.

*whistling*

Thank you.

so

*laughs*

Uh...

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Five.

What is that?

*sigh*

Sorry. Noodles belong in a cup. Tristan needs to admit that noodles belong in a cup. Tristan needs to admit that noodles belong in a cup.

Tristan needs to admit it, till he does we'll stay in jail. Till he does we'll stay in jail.

He needs to learn the lyrics to the

I'm writing TV commercials.

Why don't you join me on my walk? Nah, I'm tired. Tell me something. It's fine.

I'm finishing my cigar rest. Trust me. Tell me to join me on my walk. I'm finishing my cigar rest.

For how many push-ups I did, I think I did 28. I forgot. 12 more.

Right.

Okay.

-

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

13 just in case, 27, couldn't remember.

960.

Push -ups

Push-ups are the key to joy. Happiness lies on the other side of push-ups.

Happiness lies on the other side of pushups. There's no such thing as being depressed or unhappy with yourself once you've done a thousand pushups.

You feel too much pride, pride.

So if you're depressed or unhappy or sad, so all you have to do is your entire life's instantly fixed.

Some life advice. Someone comes to me and says they're depressed.

So how many pushups have you done today? The answer is less than a thousand.

and we all know

They deserve their own misery.

Little fucking cowards.

Thank you.

So I'm gonna finish this cigarette. I'm gonna do 40 at once the last 40 and

Okay, hold on.

Happening the slides go outside of pushups.

Fact. Proved it. Scientifically.

It's a spectrum.

It's a happiness spectrum. And the more pushups you do, the closer you get to bliss.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Four left.

40 left. Top G, top G, top G, top G, top G.

When you were resting, I sat and quietly read my Bible. Yeah, like, oh, pussy! Should've woke me up when you had the fucking chance, shouldn't ya? Well, should've. I can't wait for you to rest again. Go on. Admit it. Admit that when you had the chance, you were a coward. When you rest again. And now war befalls your nation. Fine. You don't get to choose when battles come, friend. Fine by me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

40 push-ups.

And I'm done. 40 push-ups, which isn't many.

But after you've done 960, it's actually quite hard.

40 more.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

-

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

25. 15 more. Let's do 5. 1, 3, 4,

Five, 10 more. 10 is easy. Last 10 down, Cal.

Ten is easy. One, two, three.

3, 4, 6 more.

Ah. Tristan's a loser.

noodles ball in a cup.

-

one five more noodles in the cup come on noodles in the cup

Thank you.

What?

- Dude.

Three.

Four. Last one. Noodles in a cup.

Noodles in a fucking cup. Noodles in a cup and there's nothing you can fucking do about it for the rest of your life.

Cunt.

Pussy.

Fuck you.

Can't wait to be witch, keep the living fuck out of you and finally finish you off for good.

Piece of shit, thousand pushups.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's up?

-

1,000. The satisfaction I get from writing that number 1,000.

is equal to the satisfaction

that most people never get in their shitty lives because they never fucking

They don't dedicate themselves to anything.

or work hard at anything,

So all they do is go out drinking, try and get a bit stinky puss.

from Mary's flag face.

And they pull that off and they feel some Mary Jane rotten crotch.

mary j rotten cross i feel some ramblings of self-importance because

Some woman was stupid enough to allow them with low standards.

to attempt.

to give her dick. And I say 10 because they don't know how to give dick.

But I wrote the number 1000 on a piece of paper and maybe happier than they'll ever be because

I dedicated myself.

My noodles belong.

In a cup.

forever.

And the more plastic I ingest, the closer I become, finally being Terminator,

Top G, cybernetic organism.

from the melted plastic cups and the fumes and the plastic e-doodles makes me stronger than ever before.

Thank you.

Do you understand?

Victory lap.

so

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Right, now I can read the mail.

First

Then you can read the mail.

I'm

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

All right.

-

Awesome.

-

one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey.

Amen.

Thank you.

Now I agree with my own.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Admit this deeply upsets you.

No. Admit it. Of all the things in my life that ever upset me.

This upsets me 0%. You're not deeply upset right now. No.

Are you lying?

To yourself? No, no one said.

Are you lying to me? No.

I'm now Tristan.

Don't do a stupid voice. Who want my noodles in a bowl, please?

-

-

*laughs

- -

You want your noodles in a bowl, don't you? You'll never learn.

Malcolm, just wanted to donate to Tate Pledge. Thank you very much, $20. I love you, Andrew. Thank you, friend.

from Mark.

One hot crock. Love the work. Hope you guys are eating well. Use this $5 for charity.

It's $10, so we will. All goes to Tate Pledge, every single Super Chat.

Thank you.

Just...

My friend Corey and I grew up together. The past year he's watched me start a business and leave my job.

He refuses to commit and lacks discipline.

He needs to take branded words of encouragement. No, he doesn't.

For there to be winners, there must be losers. Let Corey stay a loser so you can enjoy being a winner. There's no light without dark.

If everyone was hardworking and motivated, it would be difficult.

And I'll tell you right now that I made hundreds of millions of dollars and conquered the entire Earth, became the most famous man on the planet. And I probably only really gave it.

maybe 85% effort.

There were times I slept.

I shouldn't have slept ever.

I should have been awake this whole time, but I slept. And I still managed to do it, because all of you are fucking lazy idiots. So people like Corey,

are very essential to the world. Someone has to wash the cars, flip the burgers. Thanks, Corey. I have a Big Mac and fries. Get fucked.

Hi, brothers. I'm Husam, 16-year-old student of the real world.

Hope to meet you one day.

Yes, my life goal is to join the war room when I'm 18.

correct you have the correct life goal you're in the right place make some money and we will meet once you're inside the war room asalaamu alaykum

Thank you for both reaffirming and installing this in me to lead an extraordinary life instead of a life of mediocre one.

hopefully someday we can share a cigar and laugh. Indifferent, certainly can. Wait to see you inside the war room.

That is how we meet people. We only meet people who have been vetted by the war room.

Yeah, because even people look at our friends now and they were like, Oh, wow. How did you become such friends with Justin? Justin Mueller? How did you become friends? He joined the war.

I'm out in Vegas.

Yeah, war room. Sorry find our friends. I wouldn't have met my voice. How would I found it? Alex the Batman is

Bettering himself every day, mind, body, and spirit.

Promise that you tell us thank you.

Good. That is our reward for telling you all to do it. I love seeing people

making the world a better place and seeing people live lives worth living.

I love the bond you guys have. Always have each other's back. I feel honored to donate. Thank you very much.

Friend.

That's all he was mindset. All we are.

O-L-I-W-I-A. Sounds Polish, no?

W is V in Poland. Yeah, it's Olivia. Olivia.

- Olivia. Oh, sorry. Let me say it again. This is a chick.

Thank you very much, my dear.

Hopefully one day we'll meet if you have long blonde hair, pretty green eyes.

Thank you.

Salaamu Alaikum, Tates. May Allah protect you.

two questions to ask.

What will be the effect of AI on humanity in the future? What's your opinion on NoFap? Well, I don't normally answer these such asinine questions, but considering I'm in jail, I'm going to answer them.

Question one: What will be the effect of AI on humanity? It's gonna make me ridiculously rich. It's gonna make all the rich people richer than ever before, and it's gonna make all the poor people poorer than ever before. Because we have a very, very easy to use slave workforce that's all machine based that can replace an army

of loser dorks. Most of you are such unremarkable loser dorks you can be replaced by a machine. And that's what's gonna happen. AI, like every other technological advancement, insist at dawn of human time is gonna do the same thing they all did. It's gonna make the rich richer and the poor poor. It's gonna do nothing but accelerate the wealth divide. So if you don't get on the right side of history now, you are fucked forever. Two years ago, this poster

We'll take a graphic designer.

An hour and a half, two hours to make.

Now you type

Use the Top G logo, write this website, and put tally marks onto a poster and sign a poster for me.

AI. We already teach artificial intelligence inside of the real world

which is only $49. So you can learn how to use AI to become rich yourself for $49. And if you don't bother to do that, guess what? You deserve to stay poor forever. And that's what's going to happen to you. AI is going to accelerate the wealth divide.

What's your opinion on NoFap? That's a stupid question. I hate those. I fucking hate that question. I hate that question.

Thank you.

So dumb.

You should have so many girlfriends, you have no time for that shit anyway. And also the strength of mind, I'll actually say this now we're recreating jail, didn't even cross my mind once. In jail. 92 days, no access to any woman in the world. Didn't even cross my mind.

because salam tate and hate you since august

How do I delete dirt out of my mind to stay ultra-focused and win?

man silver i feel like that's a more of a how do i make distractions etc

A sure answer is you don't. You can't wipe your mind of everything unnecessary, so your mind only wants to focus on what's

worth doing. I think that that would be a life hack. That'd be an incredible life hack. And life would be incredibly easy if you could do that.

Um,

Yeah, distractions, temptations, it's always going to be there. And that's what sets you aside from those who make it. Stay a loser if you can't dedicate yourself to anything. I don't care. I'm glad there are losers out there. I'm glad you exist.

you're always going to need to exist so I can stay a winner. If you're a loser,

And you can't get out of bed and decide to not be a loser and dedicate yourself hard enough. You just only do a thousand push ups.

If you can't dedicate yourself to anything, then stay a fucking loser, that's fine with it.

me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I keep fighting every day. I'm eating KFC in honor of YouTube. Nice.

The World Economic Forum told us we'll own nothing and be happy.

None of this from the WEF or D-Caw.

Thank you.

mihai alex i hope you like the handmade good gift wood piece with andrew tristan chess horses the hands on top

i just wanted to meet you guys a guy from brush off yes we super appreciate the gift but we don't meet anybody who's not in the war room if you want to meet us you want to sit and have coffee with us you want to sit and talk to us you have to be in the war room first that is how it operates but you cannot join the war room and just come to my house because there's nobody in the world i know that we have a message that resonates with a lot of young men and you feel like you know us because we're helping shape your personality

There's no celebrity in the world you can go to their house and be allowed access to. You can let Cristiano Ronaldo as a soccer player

You can't just go to his house because you like him and ring his doorbell and expect him to come out and shake your hand. It's just not the way that the world operates. Join the war room. Follow the white path. We will end up meeting.

War Room can be accessed at covertape.com.

If you don't understand what the world is or don't believe you need it, then don't join. Is anyone with a free mind or the capability to have a free mind understands what it is and understands how powerful it can be?

Can't afford it, join the real world, make money, and then join. Very simple.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

26 years old and just joined a fight gym thanks to you and Tristan what should I focus on to guarantee success when I step in the ring

There is no guarantee of success, which is why it's so great. If you're guaranteed to win,

then it wouldn't take any bravery, would it? The reason it's respected so much, and the reason people have so much respect for fighters, is because they understand they're putting their ego and their lives on the line, and it could go wrong. One punch could end it.

That's the exact point of it. There are no guarantees in life. The only thing you can guarantee

is that you don't set it you do your absolute best

you don't dedicate yourself to anything you'll never be anything and all you can do

is try your absolute hardest. And I guarantee you, if you try your hardest and train very hard to be a difficult man to be,

That's all I can guarantee.

Tate, sad to see you back in jail from Cammie Christo. Happy to know your iron mines can handle it.

Made my first e-com sale today, double my Spotify numbers. God bless the tapes. To your innocence, alhamdulillah. Thank you.

Hello, Andrew. My name is Martin, 17 years old from Prague.

Thank you for the amount of positive force you've left on this world inspires me to take action and become a better person.

- You're very welcome, friend.

Alan knows the truth. Keep going from Muhammad Mazzeh.

- Thank you.

I feel bad for not sending either of you a letter now when you were actually inside. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been.

Much love from Eritrea, A-O-T-E-A-R-O-A.

or a trap

- Meritre.

Stay strong. Thank you.

Don't know how to say your name. Big Nate Deasy. We'll call you that. Thank you.

Dear Andrew and Tristan Tate, my name is Andre and I'd like to thank you for messing up my sleep schedule. Now I can't sleep unless I have an extraordinarily productive day.

good

If you have a lazy day, you shouldn't be able to sleep. You should feel guilty inside. You should get up and get some work done. That's exactly how you're supposed to be wired. So see wired as a person who has to earn his happiness.

who has to go out there and do something difficult so he feels happy. I was not happy until I completed my task and now I am happy. I'm ecstatic. It doesn't matter if I'm in jail. I'm happy either. That's what I was doing in jail.

Give yourself difficult things to do and make sure they get done and do not ever make excuses or skip them. Happiness can be earned.

You need to inflict on yourself because no one else cares enough to inflict it upon you.

They have other things to do, like try and stop being a loser themselves.

you

Thanks you guys for changing my life. Colin.

Thank you.

This guy sent 12 super chaps in a row.

Message from Max Wood.

Andrew and Tristan Tate, my love and respect for you has propelled me into a long awaited mission of becoming a real man. I found you days before you took over shit talk. When I was 17, skinny as fucking lost. I dropped out of school at 13, fed up of the aimless school system, locked me in isolation for asking questions. I left knowing that I could educate myself further than school ever could. Already having videography, editing and music skills under my belt. Also teaching

Older years to edit because the teachers were clueless. I left a network with arts in London at 14 until I was 16 and had become a complacent stoner, drifting like a feather in the wind. I had burnt out. No discipline, no ambition, no hope. Then the top G and Talisman Tate spawned like a message from above. At this point, I was merely flesh and bone, weak, stoned and aimless. With my last token of hope, I joined.

my like-minded brothers and hustlers university 2.0 in the space of three months. I had quit my five year streak of smoking weed.

I think that's the end. Four out.

Ah, the rest of them are. He turned his life around and his life's... He turned your life around, Hustle's University helped you do that and now you're making money. Fantastic. That's exactly what we'd like to hear. The reason we end up suffering and the matrix attacks us is because we teach things that actually work. If we were teaching kids how to invest in CryptoZoo or drink sugary drinks...

or be a degenerate clown, we wouldn't be attacked by the Matrix. We were sellouts like everyone else. But the fact that we actually teach you to have mental resilience and make enough money for yourself so you can resist

slave programming and the slave imperatives that's why they attack us

This is only worth it if it actually changes lives. All of this shit we're going through is only worth it if some of you actually improve your lives, which is why we

If you truly are a fan of ours, what we want you to do is become as rich and strong and successful as possible.

- See you.

Bye.

What's this one?

*pain*

What is the ideal way to deal with a person that's in full slave mind?

Okay.

Don't deal with them. Deal with other people. Deal with better people.

and

Some minds are not ready to be free, my friend. You need to find other free minds and focus on an upwards trajectory of propelling yourself to the absolute top.

the highest echelons in life. You do not have time to try and drag people up who do not want to be taken from their slavery. So join the war room, get some new friends. That's what you do.

That's the mail.

Alright, is the floor mine?

Yeah.

let's go

Thank you.

Ah.

-

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Bye.

All right.

- -

- -

No.

Wow.

Are you trying to convince me that noodles belong in balls?

I feel like I'll have a stronger argument.

Because Mike is right. You see, you did a thousand push-ups first.

and you're saying noodles below in a cup. I feel like if I do a thousand, then at least you have something to debate with.

it will be much more difficult to convince the world nobles long a copy to do a thousand

- Want to see a idea?

Walk around.

Shit, you've stolen my technique.

Hey, we both developed this technique. I'm still on my secret move.

Woo!

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Physical strength is the baseline to a happy life as a man. I think that it underpins everything else. If I could pick

physical strength

and a strong body

Eww.

supreme intelligence and knowledge.

Eww.

billions of dollars of wealth. Most people would pick billions of dollars of wealth.

If I could only pick one of those and I had to live my life with one,

and not the others, I would be a strong man.

I think you're happier overall. You'd be happier overall. You can have friends who have money.

You still enjoy your life. You can have friends who have

more knowledge than you, you can slowly learn, even if you're a dummy.

But there's something about

being a physically strong man, that when I meet physically strong men and you meet them, they immediately have my respect. Immediately.

regardless of how smart they are, regardless of how rich they are,

I immediately respect them.

- Yeah. - Of course there's no man in the world who's so rich

"that I will immediately respect him "without strength or intelligence." And as nobody so smart

who I will immediately respect

when he's completely flat broke in a weekly.

- That's true. - It's the most important thing.

in life to being a man.

the single most important thing.

- Yes.

Thank you.

Take a shower off.

Thank you.

That was push from Saskatchewan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

Thank you.

Nice.

Comb my hair.

Thank you.

- Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's this? Jail Aikido. Jail Aikido. We did loads of Jail Aikido. We did loads of Jail Aikido.

You're super good at it now.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

You know, you think you remember the number? You don't. It's higher numbers. You fuck up. Yep.

Thank you.

- Okay.

I'm gonna use this little cigarette box. You're gonna take your time between them, although you don't stand a chance, so. Yeah.

Thank you.

*cough*

Thank you.

Thank you.

So far, I have done an AT.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Come on.

Relax and see where I break.

Now the real jail memories are flooding back.

Thank you.

It's a real jailbone, serious jail, you know?

-

Oh

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

-

Want to cut that?

That's all right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What are his moral arguments for? I haven't read that. How many? 10 pages in.

Of course, he's not lying exactly what war is and what opinions of it.

What are the aims control?

Thank you.

Thank you.

exactly what you say.

the struggle of war, the entire object of it. It's no due to violence, it's no due to killing anyone,

to do.

with taking away your enemies' ability to resist, disarming them.

Both.

mentally, psychologically, physically, taking away their ability to resist his victory. If you did that with a stroke of a pen, you won a war. If you can do that after a battle, you won a war.

Thank you.

so that they can no longer resist your version of reality, so you can inject the slave programming. Yeah. For what you want of them, because they're not your people, or if they are your people,

even then you still might want them as slaves. So once they no longer have the capability to resist,

You have won the war. You've won the war. And the reason you want that is so that when you come along with things they don't like, that they would resist against, they can't.

Thank you.

Because if they have the capability to resist, you have to be very careful with what you tell them to do. But if they don't,

You can tell them to do whatever you want.

Yeah.

So even the first chapter, let's get into the first chapter, it's very interesting.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank

um

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

yeah

Thank you.

*Dramatic music* Without definition, so many people are at war today, or they're certainly having a war waged on them.

and they are not even aware that by the strokes of pens they are being defeated daily.

weekly, monthly, yearly, all the time. Defeat after defeat after defeat.

So they're sitting in their house with eight booster jabs. I hope they let me go to a coffee shop. Clowns. And by destroying the enemy's capability to resist, that means they also have to destroy you financially, which we all know, which is why we teach how to make money, because it's very difficult to fight back with that money. So they try to do what to do to us. Completely. And we've lost maybe, what, 50, 60 million dollars from this? Oh no. They destroy your money. That was our only 50, 60 million.

Because, yeah, they have to destroy your capability to resist.

They want to destroy your mentality, your warrior spirit, because that's required as a capability to resist. They want you in jail, breaking down.

crying, upset

unable to sleep. So the prosecutor says, just say you're guilty. So we win. You're okay. Even if you're not in jail, they want you out on the street, broke, semi depressed, sad, fat, weak,

addicted to porn because then you cannot resist the slave mind programming.

Thank you.

So I've been saying I'm glad you said it's what I said because I'm that I know I'm right. My everything is good to have it confirmed by Mr.

Carl von Klotswitz. I don't know when that book was written, by the look of his uniform, I guess, late 1800s. So it was written before the first two world wars, but...

after Napoleon's campaigns in Europe, Franco-Prussian War maybe, I'm not sure.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

only 920 questions here. But we have nothing but time in jail.

The push-ups will be done.

I wonder if there are any super chats actually, is Tristan not doing push-ups? Because I was waiting for you to finish your push-ups. We have a bit more space here, but typically in a real life jail environment,

You let one man do his push ups at his own pace, because there's only so much floor space for one man to really work. And then the other man renegades himself to the bed while the other one does push ups. So if there were any questions,

Any super chats while I'm doing push-ups about when's twisting to do with push-ups? I should have actually clarified that at the beginning.

I do my push-ups after Andrew's done his push-ups.

Because there's no rush. It's not that we both have to be ready and at the house by four o'clock.

That's why I've got such a massive gym where five or six men can all train together.

You go 24 hours in the day. It doesn't matter if you do them up until midnight. It doesn't matter if you do them at 1 in the morning.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

You just do the bushels.

Thank you.

Yes.

Wow.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

You can do it, Rock.

There is no tomorrow.

You can do it, Rock!

*shrieks*

Cool.

Thank you.

Push-ups. The warrior's code, there's no surrender. Underpinning of all healthy civilizations. The spirit cries stop.

Holy Christ, no. Oops.

Body Christ, stop. It's Spirit Christ. Never. How do you do your numbers?

* *singing *

- Let's cross them out right in the new number. - No, so what I do is,

Because this is also in a little system I have that makes press-ups more fun.

So I'll do four E, and then I'll turn the four into an eight.

to save paper space 80. so when i get to 120

I'll write 12.

Not 120.

And then however many I do, I'll turn the two less I do 45, turn the two into a six and add the five on for 165.

Nice.

Why does this matter? Who knows? It's jail.

preservation of ink and paper.

Jail, everything is limited.

If I were to ask one student chat,

You know what I would ask? Why didn't Andrew lose her ease for coffee? In the burning heart, just about two bursts. I'll do another one right now.

Thank you.

Spoons! An unquenchable thirst! Or frangitures!

In the darkest night.

Rising like a spider.

Coffee.

Thank you.

and

Ah.

Woo!

Buzz myself up for the press ups of the future.

After you did yours, there was only a thousand press-ups left in this room? There's only a thousand press-ups left in the universe after I did mine, so if you do them all, then nobody at home can do any push-ups. No one can do any push-ups. Because we've done them all. Which makes us stronger than everyone else on the planet. In fact, I'm gonna wait a while for my next set, and I'm gonna tell everyone.

If you didn't do push-ups, I had to do push-ups.

Now's your chance in the next 20 minutes, so do 120. And then follow along with me back to the 40.

Be heroes. Join in.

Join in on the thousand push-up challenge. And if you feel like you haven't got energy or you feel lethargic...

Life hack.

eat granulated coffee.

Like it's sweets, like it's candy. I mean, we're almost half a jar in now.

And I think besides

We've had one cup of coffee. Everything else has been eaten the old-fashioned way. Yeah, that was a new jar.

And we started last night at 10 p.m.

Nice. In the Warrior's Code.

There's no surrender.

Don't you spirit Christ stop. But why don't he say that?

'Cause you're a retardy, clearly. Spirit cries, never! Where's my proketo? Deep in our soul, we need some coffee.

It's you against you. It's the Nescafe that drives us on.

Larry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on, 120, guys. I want you to get there.

Thank you.

.

Five more minutes to do your 120 push-ups. You can keep up with T. Do a thousand. Be a fucking hero.

*whistling*

Thank you.

I'm burning hard, just about to burst.

There's a quest for answers and unquenchable thirst.

And the darkest night, rising like a spire.

The burning heart, the unmistakable fire.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

I've got coffee granules over my arms. I spilled it while I eat.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bestie in Fleming Book.

Thank you.

by far the best.

it

Thank you.

No.

.

.

Thank you.

.

Bye.

What was Istanbul like in the 60s? Sounds good.

Was it? Yeah, he's with a man named Darko Kareem, head of Station T for MI6.

He's a big former strongman at the circuses, mustache, bald head, a big Turkish guy who's

station takes Turkey.

Darko Kareem is a fucking G. Oh, I famously corrected someone. It was one of my most beautiful corrections. You don't idiots talk shit.

Some idiot was like, Ian Fleming was a bad guy, blah, blah, blah.

And I've read all 12 of his books three times each. And he said, I said, Ian Fleming, bad guy, why? Well, he said that.

women enjoy having people force themselves upon them. I said no, Ian Fleming didn't say that. Darko Kareem said that. He's a character from a book in which Ian Fleming wrote. Does that mean that we have to say that J.K. Rowling wants to murder school children because she wrote character Voldemort? Don't fucking tell me that Ian Fleming said something because a character in a

Shut the fuck up.

And their face was just like

yeah uh-huh yeah it's simple in the 60s must have been sick oh i bet it was sick but you need connections you need you need dark oak green would dark oak green make it good dark oak green does make it good

takes them to a gypsy feast where they witness a fight to death between two girls who want to marry a gypsy prince, assassinates a Bulgarian terrorist,

Thank you.

Bulgarian assassin who's after Darko Kareem, him and Balden take him out.

Fucking good luck.

It's an excellent book. Tarko Kareem. Yeah. I'm gonna change my name.

to Darko Kareem. He can't be Darko Kareem.

- Sick name.

- Bro, Darko Kareem, bro.

Yeah.

Super big strong guy with one of those dry crushing handshakes.

Oh

I hope you've done 120 push-ups, nerds.

*Loud singing*

yeah

All right.

160.

- It's Arbacreams, G. - Ice cold, G.

I also like the sound of this person.

I don't know. Colonel Rosa Klebb, head of operations and executions. Fucking nasty bitch.

short ugly yellow teeth chain smoking cigarette 50 something year old woman

- Oh. - Head of operations and executions. - Yeah. - To torture people for fun. There's a line in that book, I can't remember, you should get.

close to their face and talk to them as they're being tortured and breathe in their screams as though they were perfume.

It's a good line.

Rose McClellan's vicious How does she get killed?

Can't tell you enough spoilers.

That's only a seven hour audio book. Next time you're on a flight and you have no Wi-Fi, have it downloaded already.

I can't do audio books. I'd read it for real. I might read it.

Yeah, grab it. Grab it. We do whatever breakfast in my room.

He was Northern Irish.

He defected to the Soviets in Germany at the end of World War II.

And they train him up. He's a giant psychopath, 6'7".

red hair, dead eyes.

Smerch's number one executioner. - Nice. - That's a fucking awesome character. - What does Smerch stand for? - Smerch, it's three Russian words. It translates to death to spies. And now Russians in Ukraine,

are using that term to execute spies and triggers.

Thank you.

I wonder what the world was like in the 60s. They're much more interesting. Accredibly interesting. Everything's the same now. A lot of everyone's problems in these books would be solved or fixed. They had GPS and cell phones and stuff. It's all geeks now. Yeah. Espionage. Oh, we think that Emilio Largo's got a nuclear weapon that he's going to set off off the coast of Florida. Go to the Bahamas and investigate. Now it'd be like, click, click, click, click, click. Yeah, it's him. Yeah. Send the SWAT team. Boring. Boring. Those books are good. Send deco. Boring. Boring. It's good because they're written in the 60s.

Thank you.

All this.

You don't want to fight Darko Karim.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

He may be my favourite sidekick on the bombs.

stop listening to the song.

Thank you.

Can you make a point about when you're in jail and you get something stuck in your head, it just sticks in your head?

Nothing else to fucking do, friend.

Thank you.

Push up some cigarettes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

and

I'm not going to.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Roseclad's horrible.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Rising like a spire.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When it was for dinner.

Nose.

potato soup shit usual

I hope not.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.

Thank you.

The spirit cries never...

New soul food.

Pride Amber.

knows it's you against you.

The paradox attracts you on.

I know you're here.

.

.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

I...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

God.

Ooh. 200.

Thank you.

for you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Okay.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Cigarette?

What? Not yet. There is no tomorrow.

Smoke your fucking cigarette. You're in jail, loser.

All the earthly pleasures that you have.

Thank you.

True.

Good.

Just lay on your uncomfortable bed.

This is my life, my death, my death.

-

What?

What?

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Painful music*

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

*Police sounds*

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

All right.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Let's go.

*Painful music*

Thank you.

*laughter*

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

200 push-ups guys, follow along.

They think they can stop Mustafa.

You stop the delta, son! You stop stopping, they take them off here! It's the least time!

I need one cigarette bro!

- John, come on, see you in!

My mother called me Mustafa because I want Tapa cigarettes. Most Tapa cigarettes. That's a good one. You know, I told these guys the jail stories.

And they've really, really done a very good job at making jail.

I'm back from my solution.

I don't know how to fuck me!

It's a very realistic representation. Give Mustafa a cigarette. No. No, I'm giving him a lot of cigarettes.

If you're making a cigarette.

No.

Thank you.

You can give them a hug.

-

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Trista, come on, man! Give him a cigarette. I have nothing, Trista! You're my friend,

Thank you.

you

- Thank you.

I come for a cigarette, Tristan!

Thank you.

I'll give him a cigarette. You can give me a cigarette.

Thank you Andrew. Please don't take my friend.

You know the worst thing? The guy he's pretending to be is still in jail. Right now. Ah Mustafa, I have a secret!

I can fix my neck.

Thank you, Andrew. No problem. We are unstoppable together. That's right. Take mafia. Take mafia.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Which I'm not gonna do themselves, you know?

Unfortunately, no, I tried that. What's a set down? Yeah, they don't do that. Okay. Oh,

-

I don't know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh,

Shhh.

Oh

Thank you.

go over the way

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So teach about this.

Oh.

It's not me, her hair, you or me.

- Man, the cigarette is powerful. I do firecracks up every time I smoke you.

What I don't talk to you think. You're welcome, G.

Technically my hair is tighter than yours. Why? Because it exists.

I have hair. It's just short.

very short micron level micron tidiness

So do a minute.

Maybe.

I have a better hairstyle than you.

Sorry.

Whatever. Two minutes.

Whatever.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Who can see he can meet Mustafa, but Mustafa friends with Andrew at least on tape?

Fuck you, fuck that!

You can get the last game.

He's 100% going to get his ass kicked.

It's a real jail experience.

We could sell this.

20 grand a night, full jail experience.

with screaming psychopaths and everything.

Management of resources, limited cigarettes.

Amen.

*whistling*

.

-

Thank you.

*Loud music*

Two words combined.

Primitive Pat.

and get a frustration.

Riffly we hope against all the world.

But it's you against you, when your freedom's up against the road.

- Jackery, make yourself a good story.

Thank you.

Does the crowd understand? Stop singing that fucking song. Is it East versus West?

Thank you.

Or man against man.

Can any nation stand alone?

In the burning heart.

Just about to burst. There's a quest for answers on virtual both worlds.

In the darkest night.

Rising like a spire, the burning heart, the unmistakable fire.

Thank you.

-

In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.

It was body Christ stop. The spirit cries never.

Deep in our soul, quiet ember.

knows it's you against you

Thank you.

It's the paradox that drives us all.

It's a battle of wills.

In the heat of attack.

It's the passion that kills.

The victory is yours alone.

In the burning high.

Just about two words. You need a cigarette before your push-up.

I actually have that. It's a great game. Your dog is night. What do you think of it? Greta?

Rising like a spire.

To it, you're my pickable farm.

Thank you.

No.

Do do do do do do do do do.

do do do

Thank you.

Oh.

Being alone. Being alone. Like a beer so far.

I mean you're too scared to light your beard on fire.

10 minutes, I mean you're too scared.

They met in jail, I let my beard on fire when you did.

I don't know, I let my bedroom apart a few times. I think I may have gotten you a couple times.

Yes.

I used to do that, I used to do that.

Oh

Oh.

I'm going to go.

*clicks*

you

*click*

- Thank you.

*crickets*

If you think about it, Edgar, push-ups don't technically exist as things.

you make them exist so why is everyone so scared of doing push-ups they don't even exist they're scared of something that isn't real no but you bring them into the universe by doing them

You conjure them from nothing. It's like alchemy.

So you have the power in your hands and arms and chest to conjure a push-up out of nothing. Why is everyone so scared of doing it?

I can't hurt you. That's why they don't create anything. That's why they're little consumers, little babies.

We create like magicians. We create push-ups. Yeah.

Thank you.

So I were heroes.

Falsely imprisoning innocent men to try to silence their cause has never worked in history.

It's never worked, has it?

It doesn't.

Thank you.

As soon as people realise that it's all bullshit, they shouldn't be in jail. It just galvanises their whole cause, their message. But, but, but, no matter how heroic you are, how smart you are, how right you are, how innocent you are, Matt Shea's gonna come out and get you with a hit-peat. SHIT! Not Matt Shea, no, the DNG, ha ha.

Scared? I can't think of a personal RF I'm less afraid of the mission.

To be fair, he's... I'm already literally beating him up. You know that. We sparred, and I tried less than 3%.

And he was so shit.

that I accidentally hurt him while trying very hard to not hurt him.

I thought, let me not hurt him and accidentally hurt him because he's that weak. Like a baby. Or like when you're play wrestling with a child and you accidentally hurt him or a woman. I was like, let me try not to hit him. But he's so shit and so stupid and so weak. I accidentally hurt him.

And then he wrote in his little documentary, he beat me up.

Rolf.

You have no idea how beat up you could have been.

You have no idea. The limits...

of me beating you up that exists out there in the universe that I did not enact. I tried very hard to not beat you up and you still got beat up.

Thank you.

BUMBUCKLOT. I wonder how many more millions of views of us sitting in jail smoking cigarettes is gonna get his hit pieces working on forever.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

- Yes.

Is this love?

that I'm feeling.

Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love?

Or am I dreaming? Is this the love?

Cause it's really got a hold on me.

Use this jail.

Where I'm sitting. Is this the jail that I've been searching for? Is this jail?

Or am I dreaming?

Is this the jail?

D-Cott's really got a hold on me.

Amen.

hold on

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ushelves don't do themselves, do they?

I just sit here. Push-ups don't do themselves.

I can't write more numbers on the paper.

I'm not doing more push-ups, can I? And there's nothing more satisfying than writing numbers on the paper.

When you write a number, you're like, yeah, I did some pushups, yeah.

Wait until you start writing the fucking 900s, mate. Woo! I'll show you the fucking good time. Do you write down the thousand? Yeah, oh, you want to write down the thousand? That's the best time! Yeah.

When you write down a thousand, that's as fuck as I have a birthday cake.

What do you have to write one with three zeros?

- Right.

Best time of your fucking life, mate.

You've never done anything so good. What Bugatti is? What sex? Mr. Tristan pounding away on the vag? No, no, sir.

This is what matters.

Not some whoopee. Have sex with me please. All these girls, please have sex with me. No!

I have to run my empire. I can do my push-ups. Fuck off. What can I handle? Oh, Jesus Christ. Leave me alone. How are men out here not having sex? Women literally beg for dick all day, every day.

Maybe not into temptation.

Thank you.

It's hard to get a girl that one for you, pussy. I bet it is. You can't find outside my fucking house. It's like an inept loser caveman who can't hunt. It's hard to get a food. It's not.

Top G

Why can't I remember the first line for that song, "White Snake?"

Should've known better. Better. Should've known better.

Let's walk through.

Times like these, I can't make it on my own.

Wasted days and sleepless nights.

And I can't wait to see you again.

So I can hold you. No, no, that's the hook in the middle. Yeah.

- Right.

Wasted all my time waiting on your call.

Times ID. No, no, it's some facts again. I hate to tell you, babe.

Hate to tell you, baby. Back's against the wall.

I need you by my side. Tell me it's all right.

'Cause I don't think I could take any more.

So I can hold you in my arms in this love. Whitesnake are fucking Gs. Whitesnake are legends of the world. If you know Whitesnake, or you're like the son or grandson of someone who sang or performed in Whitesnake,

You tell them that they're fucking heroes. This is the love. The only person who got more fucking puss than us was Whitesnake in the 80s. Damn right. With their long hair.

Yeah, they were slaying, weren't they? Or is this the love? Man, dude, that's the skeleton in my closet.

- Chris and Tate used to meet and date and sleep with multiple women.

oh my god i know the conservative so can't see you because everyone's scared of the conservatives they win loads of issues

fucking cowards. I want to serve it. Republican bill 306 porn addicts get fucked.

You lose to liberals, you lose to people who don't even know what gender they are. Shut the fuck up.

Thanks.

is this the love that i've been searching for is this yeah you know what i find hypocritical about the whole thing hear me out on both sides of the argument the worst thing they could find out digging through all my closest risk code things

is that I used to sleep and date with lots of women, okay? Hear me out. Women are the gatekeepers of sexual relationships and sexual interactions, right? No one here is a rapist. Rapists are detestable people.

Every woman who's ever gone to bed with me, I've had to charm, take out on dates, buy flowers for, eat dinner with, and they thought, I'm going to sleep with this man.

And in this day and age, I'm talking more about the liberals, I guess, in this day and age of

women have sexual freedom of choice and can sleep with who they want. When they find a clip of me,

when I'm 26, going, "Yeah, I've got loads of girlfriends. I sleep with loads of girls."

They're like, oh my God, he's a bad man. It's not something I'm doing to them. It's something they choose to do with me. What kind of fucking hypocritical universe is this?

Should have known better to let you go alone.

In times like these, I can't make it on my own. I need a cigarette to make me feel alright. Cause you know that I'm in jail again.

Jesus, dear.

that i'm living is this the jail

Thank you.

*whistling*

*whistles*

Thank you.

Cause it's really got a hold on me.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh.

- 208, not bad.

- Even numbers of the enemy. - Go do the thousand.

If you do like 300 or 400, even numbers for the enemies, then you have 100 in front of you. If you do 320,

They're almost...

finish the threes. Even though you haven't, your mind thinks you have. No, I don't do 20 next, I do 30 or 40.

or 23, anything. Can't leave the 100 as a formidable force. Then you feel like you're done. It's like a complete task. That's right. You have to damage the enemy army. Yeah. You have to...

encroach into enemy territory or so slightly the next 100

Dark territory. Dark territory.

Thank you.

Steven Seagal was one of the coolest people on planet.

We knew he was a G and we learned Aikido and then we met him and it turns out he's better than we thought.

He's better than we even told us. You never meet your heroes.

No, meet your heroes.

once you're already a G, because you might be disappointed,

But you might.

Meet your heroes if they're Steven Seagal. Meet your heroes if they're Steven Seagal because you will be...

overwhelmed.

at what a fucking badass he is in every way.

*whistling* Steven's call is one of the best humans I've ever lived.

in our generation. And living memory is one of the best humans ever.

Thank you.

I'm usually by my side, tell me it's all right.

Two or three times in jail, the Steven Seagal movie came on. On the old movie channel.

Hard to Kill was on.

Mason Storm.

- What's the fucking name? - You wouldn't mess with Mesa Storm. You certainly wouldn't kill his wife and his family.

and hospitalize him because he'll come out of my coma fucking 12 years later and you're fucking dead. Fucked.

You can take that to the bank. You can take that to the bank. The blood bank.

look

Thank you.

*whistling*

I don't think we could have reenacted jail better than this. It's jail, bro. I think everything about it is perfect. This is jail. This is what you do. You just sit and drill.

I'm glad people see you now.

Thank you.

You only get to experience one 90 second of my time in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So I hope

Hold on.

No problem.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

*whistling*

*whistling*

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

.

*Rainful music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Times like...

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Did you spill the ashtray over there? Get fucked.

Oh, you saw- oh no. You didn't. You were just using the floor as an ashtray.

as per jail rules. Nice.

We were lucky enough and rich enough to have Nescafe lids to use as ashtrays.

I have one of Joe gets that luxury. What are the luxury of cigarettes? Hmm.

eat our coffee and smoke our cigarettes and heroes we also had oreos

Oreos.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*whistling*

*sweep*

Oh, yeah.

yeah

Woo!

my

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

320.

So

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you guys. Thanks.

Massa. Nice.

It doesn't get better than Massa, does it? So what do we have?

A potato. I need some ice cream.

A potato.

and a bowl of horrible soup.

- Thank you.

So the only thing I'm doing is prison masa. Slicing my potato up to bolster my soup.

We've got a bowl of horrible soup and a potato.

It's very typical.

Can we go hot water?

Ah! Hot soup noodles.

Thank you.

Ah, nice. Well, well, it's so hot.

Super good idea, but if I do that, then I'm eating my notes from a bowl. Fuck! Shit!

The ultimate betrayal!

Last night before? Should've known. All in all, you have something up your sleeve.

Now what am I going to do with it?

Thank you.

Thank you.

here.

Take it on top.

Ooh, I'm looking forward to this.

Good meal.

*dying*

I can't do it.

Thank you.

You don't want noodles in that soup. No, I want noodles in the soup. And there's not many things I say I'm not.

mad enough to do but I

Thank you.

I can't go back on my conviction. I'm too deep in.

I'm too deep with my philosophy. But now I'll go back. - And there are millions of witnesses. - There are millions of witnesses. The whole internet's gonna see me admit that noodles can be eaten from a bowl. And I can't do it. I'm gonna have to just go without noodles. - And you're awesome. - And I know I'm hungry. And I know I've had only watery soup and an egg so far today.

I got a dry potato.

sometimes your soul is worth more

My sanity is not for sale. I'm a principled man. I've always told the internet I never sold my soul.

I'll tell the truth.

$50 million they offered me to sell my soul. All I had to do was shut up and take the contract. And I said, no, I've never sold my soul. Here we are now with you, an agent for the matrix, trying to finally make me eat noodles from a bowl. Can't do it.

Kristen, you can't do it. No, sir. Enjoy your noodles, traitor.

I have never been in needles from a couple of years.

Thank you.

I don't even have a cup to make me lose my cup.

Andrew, eat some damn noodles. No, I have no cup. Andrew, the internet won't care.

Just eat some noodles. They will care. They'll make fun of me for the rest of my life. Just confess. No, I can't. All the song and dance numbers you've done about bowls and noodles.

Admit you were wrong. It's okay to admit you're wrong sometimes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can you do it, me and my potato?

Would you like my potato?

As your brother, as with Ramadan when we gave each other different foods at different types of day, because you couldn't eat at certain times or whatever, I will offer you my potato. Because you have access to unlimited noodles. Yes. I know. Yes.

That is fair, but it also feels like the I am then, once again, part of the noodles in a bowl fraternity. Fuck you, I'm keeping up with that.

Fuck off.

I do things right or not at all.

I...

-

You just got something to go without.

Fine, you just eat all those doodles from your old bowl. I will. And poop your little pants. I don't poop my pants. You will.

Sooner or later.

Like when I'm old and dying. Yeah. One day you'll poop your little pants because of what you're doing right now.

you and Neil, to the Solvig Spectrum, to both of you, isn't it?

Alright, Andrew, just take some noodles.

Maybe it doesn't compromise me.

Ah!

I have found you a cup.

No.

And I feel like

Thank you.

If you use the shank to take the top off on these plastic bottles,

You can somehow frenable your way to noodles. I trust in your abilities. I'll eat your packets. One cup melts badly.

It's a good fat place, good fat ends.

Some hand negotiation situation. And the internet believes in you. Oh, and here's a car.

as the overall action.

See, sometimes we just hold out.

Don't give in. Do the right thing. Trust in God. What did I say to you? My sanity is not for sale. That was a chance.

for me to sell out.

just like the matrix wants me to do and has always wanted me to do. To sell my soul and to stop preaching my message to the youth of today. That was a chance of me to sell out. I stuck by my guns and look what God provided me with. Two cops.

Two. You said hey, that was two.

Okay.

lesson up for the children of home always do the right thing never give in

Okay, but also it doesn't matter what you eat. It does matter.

So super matters.

I think you made it matter what it needs to. I didn't make it matter. Galt made it matter.

I was going to go without noodles.

Show the world.

I knew what I'd say.

Thank you.

Paul G never gives in, never surrenders.

All right.

Oh by the way you're in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Real mindfuck.

Is that maybe soup shouldn't be eaten from bowls either. Okay, you're just talking shit. Maybe it should all come from cups. Hear me out.

maybe the bowl is,

It's not just a psyop when it comes to noodles, but to all forms

of nutrition.

All calorific quantities should be consumed from cups.

to reach spiritual enlightenment.

Thank you.

Ever crossed your mind? No. Of course it hasn't. Don't fucking think about anything serious, do you, you prick?

Thank you.

- Oh.

- Thank you.

So now I know the tie. Now the tie must be 6:30. No, 6:8. 6:8. 6:6. Car's coming 6:30.

It's an inspection.

*whistling

Thank you.

Thank you.

Self -imposed

Self-imposed jail.

self -imposed

self-imposed jail

Thank you.

This is our longest ever live stream.

Okay.

Bye.

Thank you.

Do I get a knife from fork?

I gave you two.

I'm going to become a cybernetic organism.

plastic fumes.

You're not, you're not cybernetic, are you? Little paper bowl boy.

Thank you.

I'm already quite sucking an egg. Bro, Paper Bowl boy is not a scary superhero.

You and I both know it.

All right.

Oh, watch out, Paper Bowl Boy's coming.

I've never heard that before in my life, have you? No, in fact I- Yeah, I'm just right!

- Your mates back. - I finished my master and I fight. Bogdard, he's done it.

I punch my teeth! What a damn look, teeth!

-

Who's your man?

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Pretty good soup.

- Thank you.

so

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

It must have been a bit stupid. A lot of times it leaves me in it.

I'm going to go ahead and get the next one.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Now transferring our pre-cooked noodles into the rest of the soup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll get as much flavour out of it as I can. A system that would be much more difficult if you relied on primitive technology like cups.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Same.

put out there, so it works now.

Thank you.

Oh

I can prove to you conclusively with math.

The noodles in a cup are bears and noodles in a bowl.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Math, correct.

Imagine this.

Someone puts a gun to your head.

Thank you.

And they're going to kill you.

If you're second in a competition in which you have to write noodles in a bowl versus me writing noodles in a cup.

Yes.

But I have one less character. What chance do you really stand?

Scientifically, it's more efficient to write noodles in a cup than noodles in a bowl.

Therefore, when your life depends on it, when there's a gun to your head, you're going to

You've done the right thing from the beginning.

Thank you.

You understand me?

Or is that beyond your little fucking comprehension, your little fucking parrot brain?

All right.

Thank you.

Think about it

That's why I don't have noodles in a glass I

It's inefficient. The noodles in it can't.

and I'll have glasses in jail, and you know that.

Thank you.

My noodles on a plate are unacceptable also.

But noodles in a mug would be okay, Aysen.

Noodles in a mug.

equivalent values of noodles in the conference.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

okay is all starting to make sense to you now tell me starting to get it through thick fucking head

When your back's against the wall in a time crunch, you're going to have no time for that paper bowl.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you're going to regret all of your life's decisions.

I want.

You will.

-

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Usually by my side you tell me it's alright, cause my noodles are in a cup.

Thank you.

Thank you.

First of all, those are in a ball.

This is the cup from which I'm eating.

And I've been searching for is this cup or am I dreaming? Are you happy because your back was against the wall earlier?

This is the car.

Thank you.

Tristan is a fucking nerd.

Fucking nerd.

Bye.

Should've known better. Put your noodles in a cup.

Sooner or later you will see that you fucked up.

Now you sweep the floor.

Because you're fucking gay.

And you eat your noodles from a bowl.

I'm gonna have a cigarette.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

How do you send me your phone? I sit around doing push ups.

Thank you.

Roll along to the other end.

Thank you.

Wow.

Mmm, refreshing. Water. Brush down my noodles in a bowl.

Okay.

Thank you.

I can prove to you with more scientific reasoning that cop is better. Why? What does cop begin with?

what is bold in one lgb

-

Think about it.

LGBT, do you, is there a C in that? No.

Lesbian, gay, bold, trannies.

What does COP end with, though?

P.

And although L is the beginning of LGBTQ,

the full 2SLGBTQIA+P ends with P. There's no C. And P is the most detestable letter. There's no C in the homosexual agenda because you're supposed to eat noodles from a cup, but there's a B and it's pretty early on. I'm just saying that plus the fact it's inefficient to write down in a crunch means all in all, there's no reason to eat your noodles from a bowl. What advantage do you have over mine? They get cold quicker?

The steep steam can rise. If you have cold noodles in a bowl. Yeah, I'm choking on my fucking horrible plastic like a man. Becoming a cybernetic organism like every man should desire to be.

I'm doing a bunch of pushups and I'm adjusting my microplastics. What the fuck are you doing with your life?

push-ups and even my food and cigarettes. You are a loser.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All you've done ever is lose. That's not true.

Thank you.

L-G-B. B stands for bowl.

you

Thank you.

All right.

That was a pretty good meal.

Soup, potato, some noodles. That's shell food, bro. That's what we lived on. No protein, almost. Absolutely no protein. You've got to get protein from cigarettes, vitamin T, tobacco. Correct. Or your protein from smoking.

- It's doing your way out. - Doing your way out is through.

I've got my food sale and I'm gonna continue on my saga of push-ups.

Okay.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and get the ball.

Thank you.

I wonder how many live viewers we average.

Thank you.

This can't be a very entertaining show. This is not meant to be entertaining.

If anyone's listening at home. This is meant to show you what we did for three plus months. What is bowling?

A spore? A pointless, leisurely...

activity, pointless leisure activity for fucking heathens who aren't trying to become the best they can be. What's cupping?

Thank you.

a rehabilitation for fighters. We're trying to be as strong as possible.

Now, which one of those two activities is for warriors?

Bowling.

with your fucking girlfriend wearing your little shiny shoes you rented.

Who are you? You.

or cupping your arm, which is damaged from war.

- This has nothing to do with how you eat lunch. - It has everything to do with it. Bowls are inferior to cups.

Thank you.

I want you to just fucking admit it.

Thank you.

Once and for all, let's get it over with.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not talking to you. I smoke my cigarette. I'm scared, eh? Have a one hour relax. Scared, eh? Away from you and your nonsense.

*clap*

Thank you.

What's the matter? I pulled over. I got pulled over by my arguments. You did it, didn't you?

Bye.

Well, didn't ya?

a few cups are always half full.

What's the last letter in bold?

Thank you.

Out. For loser.

You go pee. The writing's on the wall.

Okay.

P for perfect human, perfect cybernetic organism.

Pee for piece of shit.

Thank you.

I feel sick from the plastic fumes.

Those noodles tasted like plastic. It was like eating a plastic cup.

hope it poisoned you

Thank you.

Thank you.

I know it's just part of my transformation into a cybernetic organism so I have to

Stick with it and never give up.

Thank you.

Need you by my side. Tell me it's alright.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

that

Thank you.

Thank you.

*whistling*

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*whistling*

Thank you.

If you were an animal, you'd be a duck.

Why? He's a little gay boy with feathers.

Loser. The beak.

Thank you.

Chinese people cook you.

Thank you.

- Yes.

Oh, oh.

-

Interesting.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If you're an animal, you'd be a slug.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you realize that?

Amen.

.

Thank you.

-

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

One more!

Yeah.

.

I want to go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

I bet no one watched this.

I bet no one watched any of this ever.

- No.

I don't know.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

-

*crickets*

Thank you.

-

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

.

you

Thank you.

Cool.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Prisons are horrible.

Oh

-

That's gay.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

.

Does mail get delivered? I ain't...

Smile.

Thank you.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Thank you.

I

This

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Uh, follow the law.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

*crying*

Thank you.

Amen.

All right.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Okay.

*Drums*

Amen.

Thank you.

There's all glory when you need it.

no

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

and also

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Washington.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I could easily do 91 more of these, 92.

unfazed

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, you're resting, are you?

Are you resting, yeah? No.

Why don't you have a little cigarette?

Thank you.

Thank you.

The thing is, Andrew, is I'm a reasonable man. And I would like to let you sleep.

- What did I say? He don't fight with or not, because he not want to fight with Andrew, we said take brother. - Andrew, talk with them. - We talk, chief. Matrix. Take back, you man.

Andrew's up to the prison.

the earwates, you talk to them.

Talk to the prisoners.

I need a pill!

- No.

I know.

What's the matter, Andrew? You want to go to sweep?

You can't hear me, please stop. I mean, you're going to sweep. I admit it. I mean, you're trying to sweep. Fine. You were trying to sweep, weren't you? Yeah, I was trying to sweep.

Thank you.

Welcome to Big School Loser! How does that feel?

Did you get a good sweep?

I was helping you.

Yeah.

I'll leave this in case you want to go to sleep.

Yeah.

Wow.

All right.

- Sorry.

Amen.

Okay.

uh

Oh, God.

Oh.

- See you guys.

Thank you.

.

350, you were on

320.

*Burps* Power after launch.

*clap*

That really helps.

What if these hiccups kill me?

so

-

Thank you.

You admit it then. What does broom begin with?

B.

LG.

was tristan was talking

What does Tristan begin with?

T, top, and G. We'll leave it for you, Liz. T, G.

What is Tristan being with?

What does Tristan take?

TT

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We'll see you again.

If they buy that one now, they're not rolling in the house.

Which one of the biggest ones

-

Oh.

Resist the Slave Mind t-shirts. TopG.com.

- Must possess this lightening.

You must resist the sleep mind.

Thank you.

-

.

Thank you.

-

Amen.

All right.

All right.

Amen.

Thank you.

Destroying your enemies capability to resist.

Yes.

I will also run. One if you do it.

I

-

Oh.

I'm Phillip Schofield.

.

Thank you.

I'm Hugh Edwards.

That's why I got sent to jail.

I mean, who ever?

Huh? For being Hugh Edwards, yeah.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

*gunshot*

Thank you.

Why was Hugh Edwards sending pictures of his bum to a 17 year old?

They were for the Bat Boy Corporation.

That wasn't even a good pitcher.

*sniff*

Don't look soft.

It was an old man with his pasty ass out.

Yep.

nice.

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Boom.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you call a man with no face?

Andrew.

Man, I have no legs.

I mean, you work for the BBC, the Broom Balancing Corporation.

I do, don't I?

Matt, Shake could do that.

Can't do much else, but you could balance a girl.

Bye.

I work for the Room Balancing Corporation, I admit it.

So you admit it, you're from BBC.

-

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

Thank you.

*thud*

*Tonk*

*thud*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Speak yourself on the floor.

No deal.

.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Trying to sleep are ya?

Andrew, you're in jail, loser.

You're doing it in jail.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I admit that you're in jail.

I

.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cool.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Yes.

Sure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not actually a human, I'm an artificial intelligence program designed

to do jail time.

The future of AI. How does that work?

No.

with me

.

Thank you.

I don't know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

-

- Shh!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why does the Matrix hate you so much?

Why do dorks sit around...

conspiring how to take you down.

Chelsea.

Oh, oh, oh.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Take one.

*crying*

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

me.

.

Oh, God.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If the God has not found, if the God has not grown by now,

Thank you.

What?

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Oh

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yes.

Peace.

- No.

Thank you.

Thank

you

Thank you.

Wow. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

-

All right.

Thank you.

*sad*

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Yes.

- Okay.

Nice potato for dinner, fill me with energy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- No caviar in jail, is there?

Thank you.

Thank you.

For fully long.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

If they ever send us to jail again for some bullshit, our fans can watch this on 24 hour repeat.

to know what we're doing.

It's true.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Stop balancing the broom. You're not Lucy. I am Lucy.

You're not.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

big other

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you.

- Let me hit.

Oh.

You're alive.

-

-

-

-

Okay.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and get some more of the time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

so

sir

Thank you.

Yes.

-

Okay.

Thank you.

Correct.

Bye.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

without

you

Shh.

.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

I have a question.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

and

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, ciao.

Ciao.

*thud*

Thank you.

BBC.

I saw the broom falling.

Don't worry when...

Brother works for the BBC. You don't work for the BBC. I do.

What would you do if I was an undercover BBC reporter?

They'd hired me four years ago.

and offered me one of our huge BBC salary of £29,000 a year. Oh, shit. I'm a little dork and write bad things about you. And everything bad I've ever written about you was me writing it.

Hmm.

Everything. It's all me. It's all you. It's been me the whole time.

undercover.

Detecting your misogyny. You have a cigar in Ugati. Oh, shit.

That comes in a side order of misogyny.

I forgot about that.

.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

You forgot that having a baguette and a cigar comes with a sign of a zombie. I've got a lighter and a cone.

And that comes with the side of misalgyment.

- Thank you.

You have a broom and a book.

Bye.

Valid.

important

Thank you.

-

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All

Bye.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Andrew, I think you're a misogynist.

Bye.

Because Lucy said so, and she works for the BBC. Well, they don't lie, do they?

No, the BBC don't lie.

Take your jab, COVID boosters. Stay in your house.

Hugh Edwards is fine. Trying to solicit porn from 17-year-olds is not a crime.

Sending your naked bare ass to 17 year olds is not a crime according to the BBC even though it is.

Thank you.

Are you listening? Yeah. So what are you going to do about Hugh Edwards?

Thank you.

Nothing.

What if he beats you up again?

Is that why you hate the BBC so much? Because Hugh Edwards beat you up?

Harb it.

Can't blame you.

Shit, I'd be mad too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

Do you hate ITV because Philip Schofield is cooler than you?

What if you just cried and threatened to kill yourself? Have they ever left you alone?

think so

What's that happen to you fucking... Philip Schofield?

Didn't he like groom a 15 year old?

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Okay.

-

*sad music*

*thud*

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

I need to buy a horse-drawn carriage and use that to get around town.

Why? Huh? Why?

Because then I'd be the Count of Monte Cristo.

Is that what he does? Well, yeah, but also the book's set before Cars Were Invented.

So I guess if he were alive today, he may just have a Rolls-Royce for you.

I'm going to go to the next one.

-

Thank you.

I'm going to change my name to Maximilian Morel.

- Yeah.

What?

-

Did you hear me?

so

fall off in the middle.

Change my name.

Thank you.

-

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm changing my name.

Thank you.

you

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

I don't count how many

Steve.

How many bristles on the tooth?

And welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There's 24 big ones.

and

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

24 big ones and 32 fine ones.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We have to guard for Oreos.

No.

We did have Oreos in jail, that is authentic.

That's why I'm asking. Should we get some Oreos, me and you?

No. Why?

Oreos are the enemy of what? Life.

will Oreos kill you.

Yes.

That's an exaggeration, friend. I never exaggerate.

Thank you.

I don't think Oreos literally kill you. I don't think Oreos do kill you.

I think they're the enemy.

Sure.

Thank you.

I think if I ate Oreos now, I'd die of sugar, sugar.

diabetes.

What am I doing right now? Waving a fucking broom around. I'm sweeping the air and getting rid of the dust. If I threw that so far that it turned around and came back, would it be a broom-a-ring?

I don't know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not cleaning the air. And you're not.

Thank you.

*Line's gun*

Departez the foot!

Stay with your face on the roof! Down! Down! Down!

What's this?

What's this? It's not mine! It's not mine! It's not mine! It's not mine!

It was amazing! No, no, no!

Wasn't me friend. No, no, no. We've got to be a... What? What? What? Think of it. Speak Romanian. Speak Romanian.

- I'm not going to speak, but I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak. - I'm not going to speak.

Where are you?

Kunyak, I don't know, it's not mine. I never see this before in my life.

My brother is a Muslim, it's not his.

It's made in vain. I know that he doesn't eat it, but you?

Well,

- I'm good, Noah? - Yeah, of course.

Maybe.

Okay.

yeah yeah my control is

- I like it. - Hmm? - Okay, you got it, I want it. - Only coffee. Only coffee. - Only coffee? - No drugs, coffee only. - You're good? - Rubbish, nothing, nothing. Let me...

I'm a good prisoner.

Oh, you are not good. You drink, you smoke? No, no, it wasn't me. What is this? This is the previous prisoner. Tell me because you have problem. The previous prisoner must have left this here.

Not me.

Andrew Knowl something? I don't. He's a Muslim. He was afraid. I don't know anything. I'm sorry.

You don't know what your brother is.

Neither of us know. Do you have a guest?

We're innocent of every crime. We're in jail for no reason. Like always.

How much you pay for this? We have split it. It's not me and me. It must have been here before me.

The previous prisoner had it. I'm assuming he's a Muslim, but he is. I am, so I don't drink.

- Proof I'm in a second. - They stood there, too big.

I drink, yes, but not today, not in jail. The new artists, the new artists, you know what it's like. It's a misunderstanding, officer. It's a misunderstanding.

And here, what is this description?

Last message?

- Thank you, Gato. - This is push-ups. Every time I finish push-ups, I write down how many I'm doing. No secret messages.

Nothing for the media, nothing for the police.

Who is the one who is the one who is the one?

- Trabuk? - Yeah. - Where did they say? - Iran. My brother is Holy Book. - Yes, I know, but he must check.

Everything is fine, I promise.

telephone no never no no phone yeah

foreign

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you hear? Yeah, sweet.

All in the regulates?

What's the cigarette in my coffee? - "Sigure in my coffee"? - No, only coffee. Only coffee, friend.

I'll have a new coffee.

Is it good? Coffee and cigarette.

It's okay, everyone. It's okay, no? It's okay.

Of course it's okay. Of course it's okay.

Thank you.

- Doar the "Bautura" and "Tigere"

Where are you?

Where do I have cigarettes? On the table. Bye.

Okay, they're on the table.

- Hey, I'm a star. My cigarettes. - Don't listen to cigarettes, but I don't know.

I don't understand.

The drink and the cigarette, the trouble.

- I don't know, you'll have to do a drink. You have to work it out. I don't know, it wasn't us. - Yeah, report us to the jail. - Raport on, she was in bed of city.

Thank you.

Right, so I...

If you say "I'm going to go to isolation"

Isolation? I don't understand. In isolation you stay alone. Ok. You are brother alone, you alone. Yeah, ok. You have 5 minutes to do it in camera.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This one is confiscated

Should I take it? Yeah, take it. It's not mine anyway.

Thank you.

Give it to Roy.

And the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom.

-

Give it to Mustafa, the prisoner. He will enjoy this. Mustafa? Yeah. He's your friend. I don't know. He's crazy. Eleste Nebuna.

Put our little home back together. Home sweet home.

Place a day you get your prison cell thrown apart, checked, searched.

Today, everything gets destroyed and wrecked. Yeah.

They even planted whiskey in the prison to get us in trouble.

Smart, super smart.

to build some of my snack. Coffee is not a snack.

Okay.

Beleza.

Yeah, good old inspection. Good old friendly jail inspection, eh? Yeah, 6:30 every day. So at least I know the time now. It's time for inspection.

Thank you.

destroy the few comforts we provide ourselves with. Throw everything around.

Throw your pillows around and you have to clean up your room by yourself when they're done.

So he's in trouble for being our friend.

Looks like it.

yeah so you get your daily twice daily room search

Nice. That's a good idea.

Nice. He deserves it. He does deserve it.

- What did we used to do after they trashed our cell? We put it back together and we mopped the floor. - And then we'd smoke a cigarette.

Is that what we do? Yeah, after they trashed the shell, you put it back together.

Thank you.

Did they take all their cigarettes? Do we have any left?

know that we have some cigarettes. They looked in our, they looked in the coffee jar, they look, it's very

professionally done.

Make sure you're not hiding anything.

- Thanks.

Good memories, eh?

Oh, good memories, Andrew. Good memories.

Being back in jail.

Thank you.

fun days.

92.

184 room searches we went through.

wake you up in the morning, interrupt your dinner,

When you're eating Oreos.

.

Sometimes it'd be one good thing on TV.

all day or 48 hours and when it's on they come and search the room and trash you.

Thank you.

Nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Good memories, eh?

Hmm.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are they good memories, Tristan? They are good memories. Come on, bro.

Why are they good memories? Because it's hilarious. Because it's fucking hilarious.

You say women are worse drivers than men, and the whole world thinks that you, of all the people in the world out there actually doing crimes, need to go to jail.

of all the people in the world doing crimes who are dangerous to women and kids, who are all over the streets of every country...

For some reason...

a disproportional monumental effort has been made

to put you in jail.

That's true. So it is actually absolutely hilarious.

Thank you.

it's super hilarious. It's the funniest thing in the universe. And what's funny is they think they're upsetting us, but all they're doing is making us, making our message louder, galvanizing our fan base. And I'm impossible to upset.

Thank you.

Fuck 'em.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I spit in jail. Did they throw away my push-up numbers thinking it was a secret message?

Sorry again.

No.

3008.

Let's go.

Whoa.

All right.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, oh, oh.

God.

410. Where's my pen?

Where is my pan?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

four hundred and ten

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The Quran means placing higher up than all the other books.

So on that pillow, that bed, it's a few cents meters higher than my books.

Those are the rules.

There are rules like that with Bibles.

So even though I had a Bible in jail, the Quran always went higher up than all the other books.

usually on a pillow or two on top of the

Talk Funk.

Thank you.

That's why we kept the Quran.

Although I think technically, because it's an English translation of the Quran and it's not in Arabic,

I'm not sure it's actually considered, and that's to be treated exactly as a Quran Quran in Arabic.

I think

I think...

There are technicalities there, but regardless, it's the Quran we had in jail. It's the one that we had with us.

Neither of us speak very much Arabic.

Okay.

I know only the basics.

So

It's the Quran to my brother.

That's why we...

treat it so respectfully.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Where's my lighter?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

My lawyer.

Nice, flipped onto the floor with my pen and the rest of my stuff.

Oh

We're not.

So sorry.

Daily so trash and

Yeah, hello Marina, I haven't got a sink.

Yes.

The Daily Selling Crash.

The twice daily sell trash and this morning sell trash wasn't as bad as this one. So it's actually quite good to get a variation because it all depends on who's doing the trash. Yeah.

Oh, I'm not leaving. This is cool.

You just really gotta hold on me.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

*whistling*

Thank you.

I'm going to go to the next one.

Okay.

Thank you.

Peace.

Nice, nice cell time.

*whistling*

Peace.

Amen.

But I know better than to let you go alone.

Time to like these.

Can't make it all low.

Wasted baby.

I'll be by myself.

I'm going to go.

Was it you were scared of your stomach getting wet? Yeah. It's really pathetic anger. For man of your size and strength, be scared of getting a wet stomach. Yeah. That's not

I'm better.

All right. It's actually very...

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I'm having some chair time.

Well, you know, you don't mix it up in jail. Walk time, chair time, all the different

Times. Times. Fun things about life.

Amen.

to keep life interesting. You smell the deodorant.

You know?

Oh

Use mouthwash occasionally? Sometimes use mouthwash for fun yeah.

That's how life goes.

Thank you.

I want to finish my chair time, I might go back to have some bedtime. Then some walk time. Some smoking time. Then a nice little lay down to top it all off. Nice.

Thank you.

Larry's Lerner.

That'll be good. It'll be nice. Get the mail, yeah. Get the mail.

Read some messages.

Probably your last shot to get some super chats in if they're going to be printed in red.

We went to court this morning, so we get the court decision at 9 o'clock.

*sigh*

Okay.

Thank you.

Those are the worst days.

Court decision days. Yeah.

I'm going to ask you.

Well, courts keep making the correct decisions these days.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

people.

Thank you.

Amen.

*sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I like your jail slippers.

The most authentic thing about this is you wearing those slippers.

All right.

They were the jail staffers.

I had a pair that I never wore.

I was sock manager.

You are a suck man.

I don't know why you were so mad.

prevents mosquitoes biting me on my ankles.

Thank you.

Ah, fear.

Should have known him came from a place of fear. I was sitting up, now I'm having a nice little lie down.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Oh

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Cancelling you didn't work, Andrew.

Thank you.

Okay.

You realize that right? Raw is cancelled. Sure, they banned you on everything. You two just deleted you.

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Didn't work, did it?

I don't.

Didn't do anything. Didn't do anything at all? You're ten times more famous when you go canceled.

It's true.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go canceled for being your brother.

I do remember that.

Thank you.

You deserved it though. Why? Technically I deserve cancellation more than you.

You got canceled, right?

And I don't think you really deserved it. But they did cancel me for being your brother. And I am 100% guilty of that.

- Exactly. - So I deserve my cancellation. Why'd you cancel Andrew? Bullshit reasons. Why'd you cancel Tristan? Because he's Andrew's brother.

Technically,

Technically, there were 100% correct in their assessment of whose brother I was. You were guilty at that time.

Thank you.

Fucking dead bang to rights.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

which I really had whiskey in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and a cigar.

.

Ooh, that would have been nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What was the view from our window?

The tiny corner of that building, wasn't it?

and a lamppost. A lamppost, a high fence, bars in the tiny corner of one building.

Thank you.

I will never forget that view.

Thank you.

ah it was a good room I miss old room 5

You know?

Thank you.

Miss it.

don't you going for a walk cool enjoy see you later

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you remember our last two hours in jail?

All right.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Our last two hours in jail were crazy.

The whole building was cheering and roaring with applause when they found out we're leaving.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, the worst nights in jail. Week 5?

Thank you.

Thank you.

The worst nights in jail. Before or after court.

Week five is the worst, the beginning of the second month.

Thank you.

Was that the worst? Because, okay, one day in jail, okay, cool.

Then they sent you that month.

'cause that's a standard operating procedure, and you appeal it and you lose, and you just think, fine, I've been fucked for a whole month, 'cause that's just the way it works, but surely,

Surely by now,

Because in America, you have the district attorney, and it's the district attorney's job.

to find you guilty. He fights against your lawyers.

Here you have the prosecutor, but the prosecutor's job, according to Romanian law, is to find the truth, not to find you guilty.

So I was like, surely any day now.

you know, he's going to realize that there's no case and do his job and realize that it was a false accusation. And then a bunch of bullshit.

Yeah, you might be alright.

Well, that's the prosecutor's job. By the legal definition of Romanian law, his job is to find the truth.

about a situation or a crime or if a crime took place. His job is not to try and put you in jail like the American District Attorney.

which is terrifying, really, because

Okay.

they're still fighting to have us on the judicial review or house arrest

It's insanity.

Absolutely insane.

I

Okay.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Okay.

walk to the moon.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*clap*

Okay.

You mean...

on war.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Dramatic Music*

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Okay.

-

What?

Thank you.

.

Whew.

-

*painful breathing*

.

*crying*

Yeah.

.

- Bye.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's go to that.

Thank you.

Who?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let me hear you in jail.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yep.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm more in jail than you though.

Thank you.

According to the laws of physics, there's more of me.

in jail than you.

Are you listening?

Thank you.

Why is there more of you in jail? Because you're heavier? Yeah.

There are more cells that make up my human body in jail than you.

I'm more in jail than you. They've got more human in jail when they got me.

That's true.

So I'm more in jail than you are.

You're right.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Wow.

being the king of jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When I moved to Virginia,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you think?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why?

"Why?" "Why?" he asks. "Why would I move to Virginia?"

Why do you think?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

oh

No need to be here.

Thank you.

.

.

.

Okay.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

All right.

.

Thank you.

Hey, what's up, brother?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Police speaking*

you

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A spoonful of coffee.

what would that achieve

laser -like

laser-like focus.

What do we focus on?

life

We're in jail.

*Humming*

Thank you.

We will not be able to focus.

jail or not, laser light focus is always good.

hone and sharpen your mind. How about instant coffee in Cold War and an insanely, insanely strong amount?

All right, make us coffees.

Thank you.

Lead you by my side.

Tell me it's all right.

- More classic students.

Ah, I found another layer. You only find things in jail if you're rich.

And now two lighters up.

All right.

- You're listening.

Are we rich?

Hey, we're rich, bro. We got lighters, we got cigarettes.

Thank you.

books

pillows my one gets a pillow in jail forgetting that

You're probably rich, you get the pillows. Get some cigarettes to start hustling so you can work your way up to pillows. And maybe, maybe a mattress topper if you can get your hands on one.

Woo! Then you're fucking to me.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Incredibly heat spoon, number one.

Okay.

and

I'm going to be a spoon number two.

So...

Thank you.

Thank you.

We've had this coffee since 10 yesterday. It's happened.

Because we keep eating it.

There's instant coffee even dissolved in cold water.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

refreshing

Here, your water over there. Take one of the cups, a little powder.

Take one of those waters.

Oh, the abomination strikes. Yeah. Sorry. Maffoon.

Now, my laser-like focus.

He's coming.

All right.

Well? A little bit distracted me.

So I can't focus.

Why can't you focus? I'm tired too. Sleepy and can't focus.

Sleepahontas over here. Sloppy sleepy loser.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

- I didn't drink it. - Why is it thick like syrup?

Because that's how good coffee is made.

Thank you.

Jesus

laser-like focus angle. Easier to eat it. Fucking hell.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How do you feel focused?

I might actually treat myself to some minutes. In the chair. Oh, you're gonna go sit in the chair? Yeah. I think I'm gonna have a Chesterfield. Cool. With a chair. A Chairsterfield.

Just sit in the chair. That's, that's fun, bro. That's fun. It's like a holiday. You know, we used to talk about going to Monaco. Yeah.

We don't need to anymore. You just go to the chair. Yeah, I know. You can do it on the car. Have fun, bro.

I don't know. I'm somewhere. Check them inside your bed.

No.

The fuck Rochester means? Well, it's going to have to be a moral bro in the chair then.

go for a walk sit in the bed sit in the chair go for a walk

Sit in the bed, sit in the chair.

So many options.

I know! Fuckin' hell! Everyone thought we were bored of you, suddenly losing our minds, saying I have no face.

So, that's not true, you know?

We would never say that we have no face. That's just...

It doesn't even make sense. Well, you think that me and you, we get so bored in jail to the point where we almost lose our minds and start arguing about what better vessel to serve noodles in.

Like it's a life or death situation. Never.

We are constantly entertained in jail.

Thank you.

Mattresses definitely burn.

in case you were wondering.

We're saying fire in jail.

Thank you.

Yeah, the mattress would definitely burn this place down.

Do it.

Open up.

and horrible plastic-y fumes. Do it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

do it

We're on our way out.

Thank you.

I don't want to leave.

Thank you.

Why would I want to leave jail?

In the outside world you've got all those responsibilities, the matrix is trying to get you.

Here, they think Matrix thinks it's got me.

But I'm fine.

Think about it. It's like your enemy's thinking you're dead. So they're not keeping us in, we're keeping our enemies out.

Yeah.

Yeah, they thought they were keeping us in jail.

Now that we're free, we put ourselves in jail to keep our enemies out.

Smart.

We really are smart. We really are thunk him this time, Andrew.

Where are they?

at jail in their house. Oh,

Losers.

- Sure.

Thank you.

Losers.

Amen.

.

.

Thank you.

All right.

Amen.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What am I doing, Mr. Chair?

Thank you.

It's nice to sit down.

It's been a while.

Thank you.

Well, that's not how to cherish it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We only have one cheer until about week six. We got a footstool, a little round stool, and we both sit at the table at the same time. Ooh, that was an upgrade. That was an upgrade.

The whole cell felt different.

on how that school's doing.

Not the chairs to it.

Thank you.

It's like, who's taking care of you now and gone, room five, you know?

Thank you.

That was a help.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Burps*

Thank you.

Mayo comes in two hours.

Fucking hell, two whole hours. Two short hours.

It's gonna fly by.

Yeah, it's definitely gonna fly by.

*Police speaking*

Oh, oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

oh

Thanks, Chair. It's a good chair.

what's good about it?

It's the only chair in our universe that we can at Salem.

Therefore, it's the best chair that we can possibly sit on.

That's true. So it's best year in the world. In our world. Yeah.

Thank you.

Think about it, if you have lots of chairs in your house, and there's a best chair in your house, there may be a chair more comfortable in Buckingham Palace. If you can't go sit on it, it doesn't count, does it?

So this is our limit of chairs.

What?

It's true.

-

All right.

.

*Sounds of the sound*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

All right.

I'm the Count of Monte Cristo.

Oh, oh, oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

people

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

and

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

-

Oh.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

What if I lost my mind? What would you do?

*Sigh*

What would you do when you lost your mind?

Thank you.

I don't know.

I lost my mind when I tried to eat the chair, maybe.

I haven't lost my mind yet. I think you should lose your mind. Why? So I need the chair.

What would you do if you lost your mind?

Go to sleep.

Go on, go to sleep.

If you go to sleep, I'll burn you the cigarettes.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh

Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh.

*clap*

*

.

*music*

*clap*

so

*clap*

*clap*

*snap*

*clap*

*clap*

I think we needed coffee.

I'm sweating profusely. That is my lack of coffee causing me to sweat.

*claps*

*claps*

Thank you.

*claps*

Okay.

*clap*

*clap*

Okay.

Thank you.

I'm going to talk about the guy who wanted to buy a new used car.

no actually he didn't tell me there's a guy who wanted my new used car yep I'm just

I really am. Tell me.

*music*

The outside world has not forgotten us. The outside world has not forgotten us, have they? Almost every day this happens.

Amen.

Remember we exist as people inside of the jail. The jail men.

We've not forgotten Tristan. We can still save the world. So you're saying when we come out of this shit we're going to be super famous and things are going to be fine? When we come out of this crap we're going to have the biggest platform on the planet.

any direction we choose. So towards kindness and good and charity and God, yeah? Towards good and charity and kindness and God. Isn't that human trafficking? The people who are trying to put us in jail are safe places. They're safe places. They're evil people. Evil people with no salt. Now that's what Jones called it years ago.

And when we beat this Matrix attack, we will be poised to save an entire generation. And the fact that the outside world has not forgotten us proves that.

that they can't dampen our message.

What does V say? Bullets cannot kill an idea. No, yeah, he says, uh, why won't you die? He says, because behind this mask, Mr. Creedy, there's more than flesh and blood.

Behind this mask, there is an idea, and ideas are bulletproof.

And our idea is now large enough

to be very difficult to kill. The idea of masculine sovereignty, the idea of

Living out your masculine imperatives, the idea of not being afraid or cocked

or living in fear or selling your soul,

The idea of saying what you think, believing what you say, doing what's right when everybody else around you is happy to do what's wrong.

And that idea has spread now to enough minds where

Okay.

They cannot stop it.

They could shoot me.

even if they put us in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's saying when you cut out a man's tongue.

Thank you.

Thank you.

some, what's the sign? When you cut out a man's tongue

You've got to prove he's a liar.

Yeah, you don't prove him a liar. You only prove that you fear what he has to say.

try to cut our tongues, G, delete us on every single platform and throw us in jail and use the mainstream media, which is the only media who talked about us that told them that we were corrupt

Criminals.

Grand criminals.

horrible people.

Yep. Okay, try.

-

and they fail.

- Thank you.

Technically, this is your bed.

And I don't give a shit. We tried to break the beds earlier to make shanks.

Thank you.

tried

We made some quite effective shanking weapons.

You can hurt someone with what we made.

Thank you.

Okay.

What'd you do to be mad with no face? I'd say hi, Andrew.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think one of those Wing Chun dummies.

We'll have one special order for next time we go to jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Go for a walk.

Enjoy, man. Enjoy.

I'm just going to lay under the stars and look up at the sky.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

*coughing*

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*whistling*

I'm the inventor of the world's spiciest salsa, by the way.

I'm going to write a letter, which I will show inside of the real world at the end of this. So if you're not inside the real world, you will not see the letter posted.

I'm going to write a letter.

My brain is switched back to jail brain. Everyone can join the real world and see this letter. I'll post it.

Tomorrow morning.

Thank you.

But if you do not join, you will not see it.

Thank you.

*Mario plays*

Thank you.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Police sounds*

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

you

Oh.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

*sad breathing*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you think they have on DeGrasse Tyson?

Cheating on his wife, homosexual affair, something like that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

All right.

*Loud breathing*

All right.

Thank you.

All right.

people.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Let me read it.

All right.

*snap*

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

All right.

.

Thank you.

All the time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We posted inside the real world tomorrow morning, only for students who are desperate in their search for truth and understand such.

intricacies of the universe.

I feel that's a stretch.

It's an intricacy of the universe.

Thank you.

Thank you.

If I ruin it and say what it says, you have to write a new one. What did jail teach us? Because we did learn things.

I'll tell you one thing that happened. When I got out of jail,

And then I was on house arrest. And then I got off of house arrest.

I had absolutely zero interest

and going to a club

going to a festival, being around peasants. I didn't want to go to festivals anyway. Our mission is greater than that, Andrew.

But it certainly made most pointless things in life even more pertinently pointless and made it clear that there's no point in doing most of the things you think you're supposed to want to do.

Clubbing is a waste of time. Parking is a waste of time. Festivals are a waste of time.

I went to jail and all I wanted to do was hang around with you. Spoke cigars and talk. In jail all we did was sit around and make jokes and smoke and train.

And we go out of jail and now all we want to do is sit around, make jokes, smoke and drink.

Thank you.

and these losers

didn't really punish us at all.

They gave us a greater appreciation for life.

It made us closer and stronger as in Gormoran close to strong enough. It made us appreciate life more, made us appreciate the small thing, made us appreciate family.

And it just made all the other unimportant shit that we would sometimes do

clearly so unimportant that we decided to never do it ever again pretty much probably never go to a nightclub ever again for the rest of my life yeah pretty much

Ever.

Thank you.

Also,

Thank you.

Thank you.

in terms of our relationships, male and female.

Thank you.

It was a fantastic chance for other people to prove themselves to us, to show us who really cared and who didn't. True.

I learned a lot about a lot of people when I was in jail. Same.

Thank you.

- Exactly.

No.

Thank you.

So really,

Our ideal state is you and me somewhere

talking.

Training. Drinking coffee. Drinking coffee.

And instead of a jail cell, we just replicate that with five-star hotels in the Alps or Monaco. And private jets. And private jets. And Dubai.

But it's all basically us doing the exact same thing all the time.

Because the ideal masculine life is sitting around with your boys, sitting around your team.

talking, laughing.

smiling, joking.

and be as strong as you can be.

That's all there really is to life.

Then you have the other side of it. You have children.

You got the women you care about.

But

That's all life is. Nightclubs are bullshit.

Nothing is fun.

There are things you're supposed to do and you derive happiness from the achievement

but actually fun. I mean cars driving is fun.

but mainly that's fun because you're driving a car no one else can afford normal cars

What's fun? Yeah, it's only fun at the extreme levels. What's fun?

Like what do people do for fun?

Nothing's fine.

The best thing in life, the best things in my life. You can kill me in jail with the right people. I'll have the best time in my life. Yeah. Yeah.

I've loads of fun.

It's all about people. The world is all about people. If you gave me a list of 20 people I could go to jail with, I'd have the best time of my life in jail.

It's all about who. It's not about where, it's not about what, it's about who.

Thank you.

So I have a good relationship.

with your woman is so important, this is why brotherhood is so important, and life is about whose, it's not about what's or where's, it's about who.

It's true.

Well, we're lucky because we have that.

And we also have all the stuff everyone else wants. We have all the Watson wares.

Because if you don't,

I imagine it would be very lonely. And people say stupid things like money doesn't buy happiness, which is –

Not that true, because money is great.

But...

relationships with people are more important than money. And we're lucky that we actually, Andrew, have everything.

We're the richest people in the world. We have everything. We're the richest people in the world because we have enough money. To buy anything. Anything.

And then we have all the things that money can't buy that most people with more money than us don't have.

youth, strength, brotherhood, women who genuinely love us, children who genuinely love it, etc. We have every single thing, a mission, saving the world, helping people, respected on every single city on earth. It doesn't matter if we go to Beijing.

or Baltimore, we're gonna have street cred.

every single place we go with the richest people on the planet

You might be right there.

There's nothing we're lacking in any realm.

Nothing. And if to have that perfect life and to save the world, to inspire an entire new generation of young men to build a life worth having, you have to do a little bit of jail.

So be it. A little bit of jail. So be it. It's worth it.

Absolutely.

Because we could delete the mission.

delete, try and inspire people, delete any of that, and just not go to jail.

And life would still be good. But no, the mission's bigger than what they could do to me. Fuck them.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Get the fight out of my town! Get the fight out of my town!

Oh, oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Do some push-ups.

They don't want to do themselves. That's true. My next set will be over halfway done when I do my next set.

What are you on now?

480

Thank you.

480. 480.

480. Wow, you're right. Look at the moon for jumps.

You know what slowed me down? My fucking potato and noodles.

Yeah.

I'll leave my stomach to digest this.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let me take a little walk. Walk off some of this.

Potato noodles, you know?

Nice high-carb, low-protein toxic food.

JLA. It is the JLA friend.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

I work for the BBC.

I always have. These posters are cool.

Thank you.

We hope.

Thank you.

Amen.

-

- -

Oh, wow.

Mm-hmm.

-

-

*pain*

Ss, ss, ss, shh, shh, shh, shh.

*few*

-

-

- Huh?

Yeah.

Uh.

That was fun.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Burz*

and then

I'm counting on the crust.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

All right.

you

Thank you.

All of us.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

All right.

-

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank

you

.

- Thank you.

.

*Loud noise*

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Exactly.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

my favorite part of the book

No, you traitor, for I'm aware you know me, but I know you not. Adventurer sewn up in gold and jewelry, you call yourself at Paris the Count of Monte Cristo. In Italy, Sinbad the Sailor, and in Malta I forget one.

But what is your real name? I need to know so that in the midst of your 100 names, I shall pronounce it at the moment I plunge my swords through your heart.

The Count of Mosty Christo turned dreadfully pale. His eyes seemed to burn with a devouring fire, and he bounded towards a dressing room near his bedroom.

Unless at a moment, tearing off his cravat, his coat and waistcoat,

He put on a sailor's jacket.

and a hat from beneath which rolled his long blonde hair.

He returned thus, formidable, implacable, advancing with his armors crossed on his breast towards the general, who did not understand why he disappeared. But who, on seeing him and feeling his teeth chatter and his legs sink under him, drew back, only being stuck by a tail to support his clenched hand.

For now, he cried. Of my 100 names, I need to tell you only one to overwhelm you.

But you guess it now, do you want it? Or do you rather remember it? Notwithstanding all my sorrows and tortures, I show you today a face which the happiness of revenge makes young again. A face which you must have often seen in your dreams since your marriage with Mercedes. My patron.

Thank you.

It's a fucking good one. It's my favorite bit. If you're not, he finally realizes who ruined his life.

And he goes to confront him. How does he ruin his life again?

Um...

Fernand as a soldier was involved in a scandal where he sold out a Turkish Sultan.

for money, betrayed a French ally and sold the four out, sold the town. So he could steal the money from himself. And he came back to France as a super rich man.

Count of Monte Cristo exposes the whole scam, takes the guy's daughter,

who'd be bought from a slave market and the fucking... in court. He gets completely famosed and framed and his name is completely disgraced. His wife and his son leave him and he's left with nothing.

After that, he goes back to his house and shoots himself in the head.

Thank you.

This book was written in the 1800s back when you could actually write proper shit.

Thank you.

So he goes there to challenge him to a duel. He puts on a sailor's uniform when he was a teenager. He comes out.

13 years in the Chateau Diff, my friend. Finally he realizes

who have been fucking with him all these years now.

Thank you.

Because Captain Monte Cristo's revenge plans take a whole decade.

G. Fucks with everyone. G.

- True, Jay.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

uh

Thank you.

-

Amen.

- Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

If they're back, they're on the back. They're back, they're rolling by now.

No.

Oh, oh.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sad music*

All right.

.

*Ding*

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm

Amen.

Thank you.

Oh.

*sniff*

Amen.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

We eat Oreos.

We don't.

Yes.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We don't need Oreos.

Thank you.

Thank

Oh,

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

*sad music*

you

Thank you.

What do you think people are doing in the outside world, Tristan?

Jail becomes your world.

Everything people are doing outside of jail.

I don't think about what people are doing outside of jail. Why would I?

Saturday night last night what do you think everyone was doing?

Doesn't matter.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think from within jail you can appreciate what other people are doing outside, but it's very strange. I don't think anyone outside can possibly imagine what it's like to just be in jail. You're frozen in time. I met men in jail, 40 something years old.

And they acted like it was like talking with a teenager.

or with like a 20 year old. They were so emotionally and mentally immature, 'cause they've spent 20 years of the last 40 in prison. They're taken as a 20 year old, they're thrown in jail. They're still 20.

life experience is what matures you as a man.

The same routine, day in, day out, your mind is frozen in time.

It's true.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

I've seen everything and I've done everything. You'd think that would make jail more difficult. In some ways it makes it easier.

You have so many millions of experiences to draw upon, of your life. I've seen the whole fucking world.

I mean, if you're emotionally mature enough, it may make jail easier.

If you're spoiled by it, it will make jail harder, if that makes sense.

You're emotionally mature enough, you can see it as a test. You can see jail as a test.

Thank you.

and you can draw from all your life experiences.

It is a test from God. Saul's life is a test. Saul wants big tests from God.

Bad shit's going to happen to everybody. You can perform as best as you can in the bad times. That's what makes or breaks you.

There are people saying no names who run into tiny inconveniences or little problems in life, and their whole life spirals into the toilet.

Drink, drug addiction.

Fucking suicide attempts. They fucked their whole life up.

because of things which other people have dealt with a hundred times more. It's true. And not broken down and spiraled into depression and fucking self-loathing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

I'm doing it male.

eight I think.

Go on.

Do it.

Break it.

you

Thank you.

On the count of Monte Cristo, I heard

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why'd you say that? Because we just, like, pulsing prison released.

And then Richards was influential, most powerful man in the entire realm.

our realm is on France, it's Earth.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Should we burn our cell down?

We should run ourselves.

I like ourselves.

Why?

Plus, I like it here. Stop burning my fucking chair. I like this chair. It's a good chair.

It's the best we've got.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

*crying*

Yeah.

*pain*

Bye.

All right.

I don't know.

All right.

All right.

-

Thank you.

There she is. Ah. There.

I had to lay down, now I'm going to sit at the edge of the bed to mix things up a little. Oh, a sit down! Nice. A few things interesting, you know?

Yeah.

Nice to lay down.

Sit down, stroll, chair time.

Thank you.

Okay.

oh

- Come.

I stole it. I'm not sure what my last name was.

It's a good point. I stole your comb. That's why I'm in jail.

And you're in jail for having shit hair because you can't brush it. So now we're both in jail.

Well, that's more of a justifiable reason than human trafficking, mate.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

that's all right.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

you

Thank you.

There's something here.

Pretty cold jail for hot jail.

*Painful music*

Thank you.

*Dramatic music*

I'm gonna find you or Spider-Man.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I called Spider-Man gay before they started making this character gay. I literally knew it.

I was totally right about that. Spider-Man's character is gay now.

Why? Who says? Everyone's gay now. He's gay now. This character's gay. What do you mean? I did a Tate speech saying Spider-Man's a little...

gay, loser.

And now Spider-Man is like officially gay in the new comics issue.

What? Why?

Isn't he far too mad for that Mary Jane bitch?

I don't know. All the characters, all the actors who played him were little...

Pussy boys as well. So I'll just... If you insult...

Who? The little gay actors, I don't know their names. Tom Holland.

kind of

Oh, man.

I saw Tom Holland did some scene where he got bombed and then had taken a year off Hollywood because he realized that he's a Satanist propaganda.

or something. I didn't know exactly what happened.

Got bombed in the movie.

I would let myself come out in a movie.

I guess he wanted to be a good actor.

Acting like you get bummed isn't noteworthy.

Whoa!

Tristan, artistic.

What did he actually say? This is Satanist bullshit. I don't know. He said something like he needs a year off and I don't think he said something bad about Hollywood, I think.

I don't actually watch these people talk and I don't really listen to these losers, but I didn't know his name. I somehow heard in the ether that he somehow was unhappy with Hollywood after he let them bump him.

Okay.

That's not good. Why not? Well, at least he repents his bullshit. You have to hear all for something.

My bum hurts.

Maybe his bum hurts, yeah?

What's wrong with the world bro?

Thank you.

What's wrong with the world? What's wrong with the world is that

They have attacked the baseline of morality by destroying the most fundamental interactions between humanity

which are the masculine and the feminine, the perfect unison created by God. And by destroying the way men act and women act, and by extension, our collaboration with each other, they can extrapolate that chaos out towards the family unit,

the town, the city, the state, the country, and with enough chaos and confusion, the world

the world, then they can come along and say, this chaos and confusion must be remedied. We will remedy it with the following.

laws and with more tolerance and with the following regulations and with more equality and these other false gods and falsified ideas which have

no genuine intention behind them

or any merit in regards to fixing the problem. The only goal for these things is more control in an attempt to create a slave class. So

two

condense my answer. They have made the world sick so they can give a false

medicine a false prescription which leads to them getting more of what they want which is control over your life your mind

and destroying any remnants of personal sovereignty you have left,

and they cannot install

Such.

Draconian measures

without a degree of confusion and chaos, which is being artificially manufactured down every single level of society.

to the most base level interactions

especially

between how men and women interact because men and women create children which own the future it's a very long that is the answer very long answer to why did tom holland give up

Thank you.

It's a very long answer to why Tom Holland got bombed, but it is the reason.

think about it. He's Spider-Man, young boys look up to him, now he's getting bummed. That's right. Maybe I should try to get bummed. We have a whole generation of

men who can't watch Andrews Hague because he's banned, but can watch their Spider-Man hero goodbye. And we've already talked about Ant-Man at length.

or you have.

I don't care about anything.

Nobody should care about Ant-Man, but he was Netflix number two at the time I made the Ant-Man movie, which really genuinely upset me because now people want to be ants.

This is my point. None of this is accidental. It's all extremely deliberate.

Thank you.

Thank you.

and their goal

Thank you.

is more control. The goal is always more control.

Why are they doing anything?

The goal,

is always going to be more controlled. The answer is always the same.

Why are they trying to save the planet from imaginary climate change? Why are they trying to save you and protect you from imaginary COVID?

Why are they trying to do any of the things they're trying to do? It has nothing to do with the reason they say they are doing it. They are doing all of it.

for more control.

That's all they want. And when they have absolute and utter control,

when you are fully disarmed,

and you no longer have the capability to resist,

You have to sit and think, do you trust these people?

who have absolute sovereignty over your life to not be draconian and to not destroy elements

of your life that you enjoy once you no longer have the capability to resist and sleep.

Well, if you do, then you are a fool.

You're certainly naive.

Because once somebody cannot resist things,

The answer is always the same. It's either slavery or death.

Thank you.

No.

Thank you.

and even the masculine spirit

which exists inside of all men,

Thank you.

the innate masculine spirit to rebel against the system and the machine.

which God has instilled inside of men to prevent tyranniness.

is being dampened and attacked consciously.

because they want us all to be eunuched. They want men to be semi-depressed, watching porn, without enough motivation, physical strength, or mental fortitude to do anything about the enslavement, which is being...

- Well, about their own lives first and foremost, because that's the underpin.

They're not going to do anything about their own lives. If you're trying to- - Then why would they care about the society, the good of society? - Correct. If you're too depressed and too sad,

to fix your own life? How can you fix anyone else's life or take care of a family or worry about your society? I'm the person said.

I know.

which is why things like depression are advertised and why

Me helping men's mental health and telling men to not be depressed because depression isn't real is an act of rebellion against the matrix, which puts me as a target for punishment because I'm genuinely helping men.

with the mental health crisis that they pretend they care about because they don't want you to be happy.

Because if you're happy, you're better equipped and they want you disarmed completely and absolutely.

and

Amen.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

they want you miserable they want your woman to not listen to you

Thank you.

They want her to leave you and cheat on you. And for some reason, you have to tolerate that.

They don't want you to have any sovereignty over your own household. You're not allowed to be a king in your own house. The house you work for and you pay for it, you're not allowed to be in charge of in any regard now.

Yeah.

Thank you.

And any innate masculinity inside of you to protect and provide is now called oppressive. You can find a woman and say, I'm going to pay your bills and make sure you're safe. You're an oppressive misogynist.

Yeah.

And it's all done on purpose. Because by destroying the masculine essence, there's no one left to fight.

The women can't fight. They'll never get us, bro.

which is why our very being our very existence is seen as an act of rebellion against the system

And that's why the system wants us gone.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

So that's why Tom Holland got bombed.

Thank you.

It's a very elaborate and interesting theory, Andrew.

It all fits into it, bro.

we can go back down to something even more asinine.

When Millie and Vanilli,

got caught with their tape on loop skipping girl you know it's girl you know it's girl you know their careers were over in the 1980s we expected our singers to sing

Yeah, we had standards.

When Cardi B throws her microphone at some ratchet chick, because who else is going to go see Cardi B? And I'm not even insulting Cardi B. I don't know her as a person, but ratchet people went to her thing and some ratchet girl threw a drink at her and she threw her microphone back at her and the music kept playing. Nobody even comments on the fact that she doesn't even perform anymore. It's all just...

A tape.

And that's fine.

Standards have fallen so greatly in the last 30 years, from the end of 1989 to now.

the end of the 1980s now.

that we no longer even expect our singers to sing. I know that's a small thing, but things that would get you canceled

with moral outrage 30 years ago, now do not even

Turn ahead and register that even register nobody cares

Nobody cares about anything anymore. You can be a singer and not sing. You can be a girl. And you can be a model and be in horrible shape and look ugly. You can be a model and be ugly.

You can be a singer and not sing.

You can be a girl with no femininity. You can be a man with no masculinity. There are no standards at all for anything.

The only standard they expect of you

is for you to be unlimitedly tolerant to the insanity

that they push and purport and propagate. That's all they want from you.

The only thing we expect of you is tolerance, because if you're tolerant enough, you don't have any standards, you don't have any parameters, and you will accept the SLAVE program.

We don't want anything from you besides the ability to say everything else is okay.

It's okay to have sex with children. It's okay for crying to go up.

- It's okay to burn down your own neighborhoods. - It's okay to burn down your neighborhoods. It's okay to be godless.

It's okay for singers not to sing. It's all fine. If you have an opinion on any of these things, you're a bad person.

I would argue you're a good person to care about things, but no, not according to the matrix. To the matrix, you're a bad person if you care about anything.

You're supposed to care about nothing under the guise of tolerance. Because you're a tolerant person, you have no standards for yourself or others.

I will say right here, I'm an intolerant person and I'm very intolerant towards myself.

I would be intolerant of allowing myself

to become physically

Unfit, for example. I'm intolerant of that.

I have high standards for myself.

By extension, high standards for the people I associate with both romantically

and fraternally,

Thank you.

By extension, I should have high standards for the society I live in.

Thank you.

But no, you're not allowed standards for anything.

And that, guys, is why Tom Hollingham.

It's all an interconnected web.

None of these things are small things.

They're all very deliberate attacks on the human consciousness and psyche.

me well.

Thank you.

Amen.

Oh

All right.

Thank you.

How old is Tom Holland? I don't know.

Does he even realise...

Okay.

Well, it's a good question. How many people inside of these entertainment arts realize they're being used?

to propagate the worldview of Satan. A lot of them.

Not all of them, a lot of them. Some of them just pretend they don't know for the money.

Some of them may be well-intentioned.

but it's too late.

Thank you.

but I do feel like there's a shift in the culture coming and we have been a large part of that culture shift. We've made God cool again.

I do think that's good for the world. And I think that's exactly what the Western world needed.

I also think by teaching men to have standards for themselves by extension, like I just described, they're going to have standards for everyone around them and the societies they live in, which is going to make them less tolerant of insanity, which is good for the world. So the best way you can save the planet is by teaching men to have very high standards for their own capability.

by teaching men to have very high standards for their own competence.

I'm a man and I expect myself to be extremely strong and extremely rich and extremely smart, extremely connected, extremely funny, extremely charismatic, etc.

you view of all these standards for yourself and you work hard towards achieving them

you're going to start to have standards for everyone around you. Which is super important. Which is super important because that's how you save society.

So men and their own personal work they do on themselves and their own personal struggles and their own wars.

is how society at large is fixed.

People say I'm misogynist, but they don't understand that for women to be truly happy, they need to have men they respect. And for women to be truly safe, they need to live in societies which are based on law and order. And for all of that to happen, you need to have men.

of genuine competence and capability and standards.

So by increasing the capability of men and inspiring men to be the best versions of themselves, women are happier and safer and everything by extension. Women are happier and safer. That's right.

It would be misogynistic if we did the opposite thing and not care about female safety and trying to convince men that being weak is fine.

because it's not fine, because there will always be a predator, and there will always be prey.

and to a degree it takes

a bad guy to stop a bad guy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And that is why... Tom Holland got bombed. Tom Holland got bombed.

Thanks for telling the world that, Andrew.

I didn't even know Tom Holland got bombed.

I don't keep up with pop culture. I saw it somewhere on Twitter.

Well, pop culture is now Spider-Man getting bums, so that's probably why I don't pay much attention to it.

Thank you.

I don't think you're missing very much.

To be honest with you.

I think it's all a PSYOP now.

I don't think any of it makes any money anymore.

Amen.

Disney's lost money on every movie they made in the last five years. Well, I said this. So best best buy released a advert saying our management team were not hiring whites for our management team. I'm like Best Buy. Okay.

That's an essential business. Computers, phones, electronics, everyone goes to Best Buy.

After Bud Light fucked up.

instead of taking the foot off the gas and saying no one do that anymore,

They're all interconnected and there's somebody telling all of them to do this. No, no, no. Bud Light fucked up.

Cool.

You, Disney.

You fucking Best Buy. You. All of you go harder. Coast to coffee.

weird anagrams of people who mutilate themselves with weird little drawings. Everyone go much harder because if we all do it, they can't boycott all of us. They need to eat.

and buy stuff from somewhere.

So...

Let's go harder.

It is all planned. There's no way any CEO or CFO of any company after the Bud Light debacle, debacle, debacle.

thinks let's do this. There is no way those are independent decisions being made at a company level

for companies that have no interconnectivity and had nothing to do with each other.

There is somebody telling them to do this because if they go hard enough, then what?

Then Walmart can do it with their fucking no target can do it with their gay kids, gay pride for three year olds clothing.

Fine. If Target's the only supermarket in your town, you almost have to go to Target.

They'll keep going harder and harder and harder until all of them are doing it. And if you want to drink coffee and eat food and buy gas, you have to go to those businesses.

It's not gonna stop. Lunacy.

All I can do is become the Count of Monte Cristo.

Please, get it.

That's it.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

So when we're creating push-ups out in air and doing push-ups, we're effectively saving the world.

Here we are.

someone has to do the push-ups someone has to do the push-ups to save the plan otherwise more men like Tom Holland

are gonna fall victim to bum bum attacks.

Bum bum, that's right, the bum bum. Up the bum.

Tomahue.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you.

All right.

Bye.

.

*crying*

*pain*

I don't know what I'm doing. Shit, I fucked up.

I did a perfectly even number and I'm now at 600.

*clicks*

*

- Yeah, don't want even numbers mate.

I'm not.

And that's why I take a whole lot.

you

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yes, sir.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

All right.

Sorry, why did Tom Holland get bummed again?

Tom Holland got bummed because they're trying to normalize degeneracy.

Because there are certain things which are not been accepted and if you don't accept things you have hardline parameters and they have to destroy all parameters and degrees of morality inside of your mind so they can install the slave program. Because I'll argue actually something. I'll actually argue something about...

movies you can have actors play gays in movies if there's a reason

Hear me out. Hear me out.

Liberace the pianist, yeah? They made a movie about Liberace, who was a homosexual, who was a piano player.

We don't, no one celebrates him for being homosexual. He's celebrating for being a piano player. He was a piano player. Michael Douglas plays him.

and Matt Damon plays his boyfriend.

but it's a movie about a homosexual guy.

I feel like

That's an excuse to make a movie. Watch it if you want, you know he's gay. But when they start making like Sulu in Star Trek Gay,

for no reason.

They finish the space battle, and then he goes and hugs and walks off with his boyfriend. No reason. There's no plot. Nothing about the story of Star Trek.

needed Sulu to be gay.

Even the gay actor who originally played Sulu said Sulu isn't gay.

They just inject it for no reason.

It's not like a movie about Alan Turing where he's gay and he fancies his kid at school.

I mean, he was gay, that's a movie.

But they're doing it for no reason. I'd like to think that the Tom Holland getting bombed movie probably wasn't a historical biopic.

um

Thank you.

Well,

Yes. So there's an agenda there, isn't there?

No, you're a misogynist.

Thank you.

You're a misogynist.

and you're dangerous to the minds of young people. I teach people to have standards for themselves and that's why they consider me dangerous. Yeah, how dare you tell these young men to go to the gym and get into good shape. That's toxic.

You should be fat and soy and sad and watch porn all day. Because that's progressive and that's great. It's healthy and normal either. You don't know that?

Thank you.

You don't have to stick to your heteronormativity worldview. Men need to be strong.

That's toxic.

You are toxic.

Why am I in jail with you? I'm on the BBC's team. Give me a job, Matt.

Oh

Try a spoonful of coffee.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, no.

*Sigh*

Ah. Ah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

But that's what they want to do to you. They're not going to put you in a Hollywood movie and ask you to get bombed in a movie, but they're trying to do that. They want you to do a Philip Schofield. I'll kill myself if you don't leave me alone. Hey, look, guys. Look. And your tape's a big sensitive pussy. It's fine. You can all be the same.

That's what they want to do to you, bro.

They want to break me.

They don't understand. They could put me in jail for a hundred years.

I'll be smiling, dancing around smoking my cigarettes. We don't break.

Thank you.

That's what they wanted.

That's why they ambushed you with the BBC. Oh, you just got out of jail? We're going to ask you what jail was like. Yeah, my son's a nice...

They're hoping you had your mental faculties

slightly diminished.

- Correct. - What she didn't realize is that in jail,

we invented a coffee eating technique

that focused our laser eyes. Laser focus, yeah.

So when you came out, you were in fact sharper than you ever were before prison. Correct. Because of the tobacco and coffee Aikido. Correct. That we invented within the walls of Booker S. Central Arrest Prison.

She was totally unprepared for that.

It blew her mind.

She got the most. She got the most. Of course, she's a loser.

She's a loser.

I'd love to see a reporter go for fucking Philip Schofield and jump out the window, wouldn't he?

And they never go for him. They ask him how he's feeling. Yeah.

I was talking to 15 year olds. I actually bummed him later when he was over the age of consent. At 15 I was just buying him drinks.

What?

Bro, clown world. Anyone who's on their team, they let them off.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The matrix is real.

Say the name Hugh Edwards, everyone. Don't forget about him. Everyone's forgot. Andrew said two days after they say his name, he'll be gone. It's gone.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Never no wrong, Hugh Edwards did in fact literally commit a serious crime.

trying to solicit pornographic images

off of someone who's under 18 is the possession of child pornography. Even if that person was old enough to consent to physical sex in person, you can't take pornographic images. And he was Snapchatting his naked ass and getting images back from someone who's under 17.

That is illegal. If you're a 21 year old man and you get a 17 year old girlfriend, don't let her send you pictures. That's illegal. You can date her and you can have a nice normal relationship. But that is a crime and Hugh Edwards committed that crime. Literally, the BBC, he committed a crime.

Same.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Ah.

Thank you.

Maybe if you change your name to Hugh Edwards, and I change my name to Phillip Schofield, everyone will leave us alone.

What do you think?

Wow.

Okay.

Good idea.

Thank you.

Jimmy Savile and Ralph Henders will be fine.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Whew.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

you need to do some pushups immediately, even one.

Oh, that's a ton of barrier.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

I'm human error.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Chocolate?

God, that's it.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do we need today? Two bowls of water, soup, and a potato. And some bread and an egg.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

A piece of chocolate would be nice. Do you have any commissary? No. We forgot to organize commissary.

Commissary is getting empty, a gentleman's getting food without me. Can't wait to get out and move forward with my life. Got a family that loves me and wants me to do right. But it's time to get locked up.

Oh, oh.

- What?

Oh, dude.

- It's a close. - No matter how far I go.

That's... if we don't get going closer, no matter how far I go.

That's some people. You're saying this to 200 years.

They're that guilty they deserve it. You fucking kills people and hurts kids. You deserve 150 years a day.

car is stolen.

Registration.

Cops patrolling.

Now they're going to stop me.

And I've been locked up. Don't let me out.

I'm locked up.

Oh.

Morning, I'm locked up.

Thank you.

*crickets*

Thank you.

It's amazing how time drags in jail.

Visitation no longer comes by.

Feel like they forgot about me.

Commissary is getting empty. Somebody's getting food without me. Can't wait to get out of me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

right now.

Ah, 32.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

I can't wait to get out of the hole with my line.

Uh-huh.

Time is it?

*punch*

Thank you.

It's your time.

What's he doing now?

Who, Chico?

Yeah.

No idea.

But in Lutz, if you ask an English person in their mid-30s what time is it?

They'll still say it's Chico time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come here.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

After a thousand punches,

My hand will become stronger in the metal effect. I'll become iron hand.

Yes.

Man with the Iron Fist. Man with the Iron Fist, yeah.

It was at Stalin.

I believe so.

- No.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

*puff*

Steel handle.

Thank you.

And I saw him as the Man of Steel.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

When you die, 50s. 54, 53.

five, six years after the war. I think it was longer than eight, nine years.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on.

Thank you.

I'm gonna light my beard on fire.

to get you.

Thank you.

Go on.

It's so fun.

You need to fluff your beard to effectively do a beard flame maneuver.

Whoa.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Oh.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*thud*

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

um

Amen.

Oh

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Oh

so

Thank you.

All right.

*Belding*

Bye.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

*Squad*

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

*click*

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

*Sigh*

Thank you.

-

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

um

Thank you.

Oh

Andrew K.

Tristan! Tristan, I need one more cigarette, man! Your mate's back.

Thank you.

Fuck this prison man!

I have business idea for you, Tristan.

You're my brother. We can do Bitcoin.

My brother has Bitcoin wallet. I can send you, but I need one cigarette. Fuck you, Tristan. That's a good business idea. It's a good idea. You should try it. Think about it, Tristan. We might get rich.

For one cigarette, it's worth a drink.

If only when I was in JR I'd made those investments I'd be so rich.

Give him a cigarette and then we can get unlimited bitcoins. That's not how anything works. You're telling me you don't trust a crazy jail man?

No, I don't trust the crazy journey.

Why?

because they're all insane

His brother has a Bitcoin wallet.

Do you understand?

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Interesting.

Yeah, I'm not listening to you anymore.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

that voice

That voice, where did I first hear it?

You heard it the first time in Marseille 23 years ago.

The day to your marriage of Mademoiselle de Saint-Mirant. Refer to your papers, sir.

You are not the Abbe Boussouni?

You're not Monte Cristo?

"Oh, heavens, and you are some concealed implacable and mortal enemy! I must have wronged you in some way at Marseilles. Oh, woe to me!" "Yes, indeed, you are right," said the Count, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "You condemned me to a horrible and tedious death. You killed my father. You deprived me of my liberty, of my love, and of happiness."

Who are you then?

Who are you?

I am the spectre of a wretch you buried in the dungeons of the Chateau Diff. The form of the Count of Monte Cristo was given to that spectre when at length he was issued from his tomb, enriched with gold and diamonds to reconduct him to you.

I recognize you

"I recognize you!" exclaimed the prosecutor Duvoir.

I am Edmond Dantes.

"You? Edmond Dantes?" cried Vilfort, seizing the Count by the wrist. "They'd come here."

and he dragged Monte Cristo up the stairs, who, ignorant of what had happened, followed him,

into astonishment. Hold Edmond Dantes.

he said, pointing at the bodies of his wife and child. See?

Are you now well revenged?

So he killed the wife and child of the prosecutor? No, his wife poisoned herself.

and his child.

Why? Because he set them all up and completely financially bankrupted everyone.

Thank you.

I know why happened to prosecutor after that. - Oh, he went mad. He went insane.

Thank you.

Monsieur de Villefort, the prosecutor who had to protect his father, knew that he was asking to sign the jail anyway.

It's a good book. The best part is when they find out who it is, after the huge build-up.

They find out who was

doing this. How does it end? Eben Dantes does what, the end?

Emma Dantes, Mercedes, the girl he was going to marry, is left in destitution, but her son goes off to join the army to...

and the son is a good guy,

challenges the cow to a duel and the duel doesn't take place because we're seeing stitches on his father

says what happens. Albert de Morser, the son of Mercedes and Fernand de Traire, goes to join the army. Mercedes goes back to live in Marseille. Fernand Mondego blows his brains

Stole his wife. Monsieur de Vilfort, the prosecutor, goes mad after his wife and child commit suicide. Goes completely insane. Monsieur de Dumbois, uh...

banker at the time and using insider training and his his knowledge of information completely bankrupts him and when he completely bankrupts him he holds him in a cell

And because his father starved to death through lack of money while he was in the Chateau d'Eith,

Monsieur de Denglairs, made to pay over 100,000 francs for each meal he's giving in the cell to eventually he runs out of food, and as he starts starving, the Count of Monte Cristo has mercy on him and lets him go.

and then because he's sick of getting revenge for all these years and he lets Monsieur de Denglar live. And then he has this, the young Turkish girl who was the daughter of

the alley, the

Thank you.

what's his name Ali Pasha I think his name is the Turkish guy for non-betrayed the young girl he purchases as a slave to bear witness is madly in love with him and he leaves all his money as well

to Maximilian Morel, the son of the ship owner he originally worked for, who was a good guy who tried to get him out of jail. And he absconds with Idae and starts a new life with his beautiful new wife.

And Mercedes left him left in poverty, which is why I hate the movies. When he marries Mercedes again, 14 years later when she's got some fucking kid.

15 years later. Fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch. Mercedes is a bitch.

So he gets a, he marries someone else. Yeah. He marries a young, beautiful, uh, Turkish Greek princess.

He swung with enough money in his yacht, he leaves everything else to the son of the shipowner, who he originally worked for, who was the only man fighting to try and get him out of jail before his death while he was still in Sunday's chapter.

No, he died shortly after. My apologies.

Thank you.

It's a happy ending all around.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I

Thank you.

Amen.

I'm going to go ahead and get it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

but Monsieur le Dumblar, even though he lets him live,

He's completely financially destitute. Reputation in shatters. Had to leave Paris. Lost his wife.

Although he doesn't actually starve to death as he originally planned. His life is still fucked.

Oh.

Thank you.

-

I wish I could do the cells.

-

Wow.

All right.

I'm going to go.

Thank you.

- Okay.

To make it a good movie, you'd have to make it an 11-part Netflix series 10 hours long.

Can't do it. Never been done as a series yet? No. And modern people wouldn't make it hard enough, you don't think? No.

Harsh enough? No. Does he do some fucked up shit?

Yeah, it was written in the 1870s, 1880s. No, I think it was written in 1855.

*Squad*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

*crying*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

*laughter*

Thank you.

*pain*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

At the end of the Three Musketeers, all the guys get together and they hire an executioner, and they brutally cut the head off some woman.

been fucking with their lives.

- She's equal though.

But you wouldn't write a book with that ending today.

Huh? What did she do? She was trying to seize power for the cardinal in France to make him more powerful than the king.

She's an evil bitch who was fucking with everyone.

In the end they chop right off.

Good work.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Hope.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Okay.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

*crickets*

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Shh.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go ahead and put it in the middle of the middle.

so

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

He hasn't commented on Twitter. He hasn't posted on Twitter since he said that dumb shit by pursuit of happiness.

He was never smart anyway. He was an idiot.

I never think he was an idiot before.

When I get a new phone, I move it around in my hand, so I don't need a case. Shut up, you fucking dummy.

You drop something, you drop something. Someone bumps into you and you drop it. What the fuck are you talking about?

Sound like a cunt.

Thank you.

So thank you, everyone.

If you know so much about space, how come?

Thank you.

You're dumb.

That's my argument.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

I'm better origami than you.

Thank you.

- No.

hmm

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Snor-a-gami.

Thank you.

You bear with that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh.

.

Thank you.

- Good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

so

Thank you.

All right.

-

- No, I'm coming soon.

Oh.

Thank you.

*Loud

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Woo!

Okay.

Yeah.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

.

Thank you.

*music*

Thank you.

I

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

We hope.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

uh

Okay.

Yes.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Okay.

Amen.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

Oh.

All right.

.

Amen.

Thank you.

*Gunshot*

Thank you.

for a while.

Thank you.

Amen.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

*Loud noise*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*laughter*

um

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Going to sleep.

Thank you.

Sit and rest.

Thank you.

Can I see the rest?

Oh.

No.

- What?

Thank you.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to go.

Good morning.

*crying*

Ooh.

Walk up.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Why don't we put ourselves in jail?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't know.

Whose idea was this?

Thank you.

I want Oreos.

So?

Thank you.

Thank you.

"How about cigarillos?"

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How about Segura Loads instead of Warriors, mate?

My favourite kind of oaves

Thank you.

*clap*

Just change the Ori for the Cigarill.

Think about it. Yeah, that's true. Are they that different?

Thank you.

Here you go, my front.

Maybe like strong coffee and it's off.

Hopefully you've consumed enough coffee.

Thank you.

Thank you.

so

Thank you.

I say, okay.

Imagine being our persecutors, trying to attack us so heavily, and then when we get free, we lock ourselves in jail, extremely.

It's true.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's a parking lot of the cell. It's my own chair. It's a good chair. It's fireproof. Exactly.

and blessed by the Holy Spirit.

We're going to affirm the sacred chair of Christy Tate.

throne of my Jehovah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, that's my mate.

Thank you.

*bom* I can't wait to see

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Registration. 692 push-ups.

So when you finish, we can go home.

Well, no.

Home time is already set for 24 hours.

I think when you finish...

We'll be free.

That's your mistake mate. It's the biggest mistake you've ever made.

We're still on free.

- It's your phone. - Sounded up?

Thank you.

Peter Pan, Peter Barber, J.R. Lyon.

Oh, yeah.

It's a peanut pan peanut butter alert.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Okay.

-

Thank you.

-

All the other.

Thank you.

*Humming*

Backgammon, you and me? We have backgammon, Joe.

Shanks? Shanks fight?

Thank you.

You?

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*Bell*

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I forgot about leaning.

Mmm. Can I have a nice little lean? New activity. Yeah. I forgot.

This time around I forgot that leaning was a thing.

Lean.

Yes.

Feel lean and smoke, you know?

Fender anywhere.

We have a five star hotel on the El Mati Coast.

Take a little soup, some loafers, smoking a cigarette.

Just as good here. Here I am in jail.

Right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes.

I'll go play, Andrew.

I am the Count of Monte Cristo. I have a plan to get horrible vengeance upon you.

Why?

I'll see.

You'll see. I will have the most horrific vengeance

you've ever imagined.

because I have the resources and the ability to take you down.

and my revenge on you.

will be golden.

Thank you.

Everyone watching will see it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

you

Thank you.

All right.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

*laughter*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh

How many are you on now? 722. Two laps. Do a few more free ones.

Trust me.

.

Yes.

Okay.

100% Romanian jail, bro.

Okay.

Oh, man.

Thank you.

uh

-

All right.

Yeah.

Freebies.

7:35

Asalaamu Alaikum Andrew

Good day. Good day. Sydney, Australia. Good day, Mike.

I was curious your thoughts on the Sikh warriors and the Sikh Empire.

We respect the Sikhs. We respect all kind of warriors from any empire. The Sikhs are well-known warriors and the Sikhs.

Famously, we're super pro-British, super pro-British empire. Fought a bunch of famous last stands, outnumbered, so on and so forth.

with the British...

So they're historical allies and friends of the British Empire, especially during the occupation of India.

And that guy in California recently who beat the shit out of that thief with a stick

I think proves a point. I said the 90s gave us rooftop Koreans. In 2023, we have stick-seeks.

Respect to both.

Thank you.

The Thousand Push-Up Challenge is a bit hard. Well, duh. The whole point is that it's hard. This whole point of the beauty of victory. If it wasn't difficult, you wouldn't want it in the first place. It's supposed to be hard.

I've discussed this at length on other podcasts, that every single thing you want in your life is difficult because if it wasn't difficult to achieve, everybody would already have it. It wouldn't have value. The idea that something is valuable means that it is hard to obtain. Value and difficulty are inexorably linked. They are the same thing. Saying something is difficult is the same as saying something is valuable. So when you say the 1000 push up challenge is difficult.

What you've just said to me in my mind is the 1000 pushup challenge is valuable. You should do it. You should achieve it. You should complete it for special people who wish to go the extra mile and be exceptional individuals. Hey, Tate's I was unfortunately a victim of the COVID BS and got the jabs.

but I've realized that it was a scam. I've learned my lesson. I'll never be manipulated again.

I'd like to believe that's true. You're probably still being manipulated in more ways than you can possibly realize. You need to strongly analyze your brain, defrag, understand every single

opinion you hold where it came from why you believe it what the proof for it is and does it genuinely benefit your life because i guarantee they are still manipulating you

Everybody is programmable in some degree. - Do your best. You can't undo the damage, but be as fit as strong as possible.

Do a thousand pushups.

right now.

Thank you.

Hello brothers, $100 for tape pledge. Thank you very much.

Which version of the Bible should I get?

Um.

King James is always good.

go for king james king james 50 thank you takes for helping me get back to the real world

I learned a lot on the campus.

Just giving this very small donation because I know it will go to a good cause.

I would argue we're the most efficient charity on the planet. I have two people on the ground.

I move them around between Iran, Turkey, Syria,

these war torn countries, I send them money and all the money spent on food. If you give money to food aid or Oxfam or any of these other big charities, less than 10% of your money actually ends up accountants salaries.

MDs taking millions a year. Offices.

Fancy PR companies. You're just fancy chairs. You're funding a scam. Tate Pledge is the most efficient charity on the planet.

And for that reason,

every single dollar is going to go to actually feeding children as it should.

It's disgusting what these other charities do.

Yeah.

Salaam brothers, since listening to you both, I've become spiritually stronger, learned to defend myself.

And I aim to have a pro fight. My mentality is improved. Thank you two for everything.

God bless you and good luck. Good luck.

You aim to have a pro fight.

That sounds good.

Super chat me again after you've had a pro fight. I don't like people who talk about things like people who have done things.

I could aim to go to the moon. It doesn't make me a fucking astronaut.

Let's talk when it's done.

*thud*

Thank you.

Hello, Andrew and Tristan.

I would like to ask you what I could do in order to be more confident.

with girls.

Thank you.

I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either. What can I improve or do?

That sounds like you're in bad shape, Juan.

Confidence naturally exudes a man who knows that he has the things that people look for, whether it be when looking for a woman to settle down with, have a family with, whether or not it's in business and you have the mindset and the competence and the knowledge to go to a business meeting and sit down, you know that you have what it takes.

the way you describe yourself, I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either. You don't want to be either of those things. What you want to be is...

He's muscular and fit.

and healthy and you will naturally exude

the confidence which your hard work gives to yourself.

So competence comes after hard work because

Anybody

In today, in 2023, you could be Sam Smith, you could be a disgusting, pudgy, pasty, horrible looking creature.

and be confident as hell because as andrew was talking about earlier

during this live today, no one's expected to have any standards. But although society can get rid of standards for people,

People don't get rid of standards for people. We can give everyone participation trophies and say it's all fine. But a woman looking for a man to protect her, to provide for her, to start a family with her, to let her...

to let this man into her bed to give this man sexual access to her these women will still have standards so you can listen to the matrix and be not skinny and not fat and i don't know how i can get more confidence or you can do all the hard work it takes

to become the kind of man who will naturally be confident because you have all the tools. So get to work, forget women for a year.

Um,

see where you are in 12 months and hopefully the confidence should come naturally to you my friend

Yeah.

Confidence is a side effect to competence.

If you get good at things, you'll naturally be confident. The reason you're not confident is because you're nothing to be confident in.

I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either. I don't like the sound of that. No, you're out of shape. You're out of shape. You're out of shape.

You should be in fantastic physical condition. You should be as smart as possible. You should be working as hard as possible. Confidence is a side effect. Confidence isn't something you build.

You build your capability and it comes as a side effect.

hello andrew i'm a 17 year old i'm a student in the real world

My parents are getting divorced and it's making it hard for me to focus in my environment.

Give me advice on how to stay focused. There are 17 year olds right now being dragged into wars going to fight on the front lines. There are 17 year olds right now. There are 10 year olds right now who are the heads of entire families in places like Yemen because their whole family have been blown up by a bomb.

divorce so wait you still have your mother you still have your father i'm gonna go with one parent i'm not gonna hear about divorce any advice on how to stay focused during hard times yeah here's the advice during heart it's not that hard yeah during hard times you need to be more focused than ever that's when it's most essential

If you truly are worried about your parents getting divorced and you have a vested interest in seeing both of them, and I'm sure you having financial capability will make that more likely to happen. Being broke is not going to make you more likely to see both your parents as opposed to being rich. If you're rich, you can miss work or change a school date or catch a flight, etc. So if you're truly worried about your parents getting divorced, then you need as much money as possible. And that is your reason to focus. Hard times are fantastic motivation for you to become the best version of yourself.

personal excellence then you are born to lose if you're a loser stay a loser winners when bad things are happening we use that for fuel to make sure that we perpetually win into eternity

Hello, G. So the past five months I'm dealing with my mom who has brain cancer. She recently passed away. And without you guys, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Sorry to hear that. Rest in peace, brother. And it's the natural order of life that parents go before children. It's just something all children have to deal with. Stay strong. Start family of your own. Name your first daughter after her.

and she'll continue to live through your family and your bloodline.

Helm of West

After a month in the real world, I quit my normal job because I was making money. My business has given me financial freedom, so I'm thanking you both for helping me with that. You're welcome.

And now if they come along with a new vaccine that all the normie people in your normie job are forced to inject inside of themselves, even though they know it's poison, you no longer have to do it. Financial freedom is more than just.

having money, it's autonomy over your ideas, autonomy over your time and autonomy over your bloodstream. So it's extremely important you become as rich as possible. And that's why we teach how to make money inside of the real world, because you cannot resist the matrix if you are dependent on a wage, because they will simply

restrict your ability to earn money, and then you will end up having to do what they want you to do so you can eat. What did we talk earlier about war? Yeah. Number one objective of war. Disarm your opponent. Disarm your opponent. They want you bankrupt. They want you broke. They disarm you by taking your money away, taking your spirit away, taking your resolve away. But when you have no money, it's very difficult for you to do anything at all. You have to become an independent, sovereign individual if you want to be independently thinking.

Thank you, Andrew and Tristan. Addie Cobra. Thank you, Andrew and Tristan. I wish you and your family all the best. Thank you very much. $20. We'll donate that to Tate Pledge.

I want to thank both you guys for helping me get back on my feet.

by FNFBHFB.

Andrew, when do you get the Rimac-Navera?

Good question. We'll see when all this is over.

For now, it's in... It's somewhere. It's somewhere. Do we have a Rimet-Navera? No, we don't have a Rimet-Navera. No, we don't have a Rimet-Navera.

I think you guys should get some dirt bikes for you and the crew. Me interested in quit Super Bikes. I think we kind of quit Dirt Bikes by extension, don't we?

Yeah, we go bikes are safe enough, but.

A few days ago, rest in peace to Dean. A good friend of mine died on a superbike the other day. It's hard on me, me and Andrew. You know, we've lost a friend.

That's only 48 hours ago, but you've got to keep

keep going strong and keep your head up. So rest in peace, Sadeen, who recently just died on a motorcycle.

He's a real one. If you are a pious man, it doesn't matter if you're in a yacht or

in jail you'll always be okay because you're with god by nicholas true

If you believe in who you are and you believe in you're doing the right thing, it doesn't matter in your surroundings nearly as much.

Because if you're empty on the outside,

It's like being cold-blooded. If you're a cold-blooded animal, you need heat from the outside. If you're a warm-blooded animal, you can generate your own body heat.

and spirituality is to a degree warm-bloodedness.

So if you're a completely empty vessel, you're cold blooded, and you need to have fantastic surroundings around you for you to be able to feel some fantastic. But if you generate your own powers,

deep within your spirit and soul. It doesn't matter if you're inside of a jail cell. Damn right.

I've been working on myself to become the best and working out every day. I never thought I'd achieve what I've achieved. I'm 32.

from Sydney, Australia. Congratulations, Money Leader. Good for you, bro.

All right.

.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

lots of people asking me questions about what they should do financially should i pursue this option or that option

The best financial decision that exists on the planet Earth today is the real world. It costs less than lunch, and I will teach you how to make money online. I could teach anybody with 18 modern wealth creation methods.

If you do not invest less than your lunch money in learning how to make money online so you can be rich for the rest of your human years, you deserve to perpetually lose. Everybody who is not inside the real world is a loser.

Hands down. Fact.

All right.

"Tristan, this is your ancestor, set yourself on fire."

Shit!

- Fuck. - The ancestors can super chat.

Thank you.

We're running out of options now, ain't you, mate? That's a hoax.

It's a hoax.

I don't believe you. Hope, sir. Improving every day. You two had a massive impact on my life since I lost my father. I know to be proud. Implementing your strong mindset. Top G. Congratulations. Surtee.

Gibraltar.

Autumn, a girl. Hey, again, I absolutely adore you guys. I know you think all women are psyops, but I truly hope to meet a man like you. Keep inspiring men to be better someday so I can be a perfect wife. Yeah, if a man says he's a fan of Andrew Twisten, take...

He's going to treat you respectfully. He's going to protect you, provide for you.

he might make a joke that he can drive better than you and he's gonna have to go over there.

I wish you luck.

What advice can you give to my little brother to be a professional fighter? He's worked versus black belt. Work hard or train. Yeah, work hard or train, fight. Everyone knows the answers to these questions. There's no point in asking people like me.

Or, you know, if you want to be a boxer and you think, oh, if I email Floyd Mayweather enough times, if he replies, I'll be a great boxer because Floyd Mayweather is great now.

You want to be a boxer, you already know what you have to do. Go to the boxing gym for more hours than your opponents and try harder and train harder and eat better and sleep better than all of your opponents and you will be a good boxer. Floyd Mayweather emailing you is not going to change that. So you shouldn't.

waste your time asking questions, I guess, of successful people. Correct.

Asala, Asalaam Alaikum. I'm from India. I tried to join the real world, but it doesn't accept payments from India. It will do very soon. We have an Indian payment person coming online. We can also join using crypto.

So use crypto and you can get some in the real world. There's no excuse to not be inside of it. Like I said, it is so cost effective. I'm refusing to put the price up for as long as possible, even though.

The price should have raised months and months ago, and the other people are talking to me about putting it up.

I'm not doing it because at $49 a month, it is cheaper than lunch. So anybody who is not inside is objectively a loser and deserves to lose. In almost every country in the world, you can earn that in one day.

Okay.

Hi guys, I'm a big fan.

You're my son's hero. He wants to shave his head and do fighting like Andrew's head.

Good. Make sure he gets good at it because fighting is not something you can play with. You're going to have to be very good at it when you get hurt. So make sure it trains hard.

Thank you.

Andrew and Tristan, how do you deal with physical sickness?

I currently have strong fever. I can't focus on my work.

Look, you get sick, you get better. - Telling me certainly won't help. Me and Andrew have a saying, if I'm feeling sick, whether it be, I don't know, flu, cold, food poisoning, hangover, I will never ever, Andrew, I feel sick, 'cause he will reply.

Do you want therapy? What do you want therapy? As in talking about it isn't going to fix anything. You just send me that message. Do you feel better? No, I didn't think so.

Go to bed, get some sleep, get some food.

You'll be fine. Completely.

Me and my brothers are a lot like you two. We identify with you. Good. I think all brothers should be close. I don't understand why brothers are arguing with each other. It's great.

I see that and it genuinely saddens me. Hey, geez.

I live virtually through you 24-7. You're my true brothers. You're very inspiring. Sad, do push-ups, depressed, do push-ups, happy, do push-ups to celebrate. Hope I can meet you one day. You're completely right about the push-ups, and you will meet us one day. If you join the war room and follow the white path, that is the only way to meet us. There's no other way. Yeah, we don't keep outsiders around.

Thank you.

You interested and inspired my twin and I to be much closer to each other. You guys are alpha and extremely educated men. We love you guys. God bless you both. Thank you.

Can you tell us about Wudan? Who made it? What is the whole story? Will you do anything interesting with the stories in the future, like a book or a movie sending love and strength from Prague? Yes.

We actually have an animated series which has already begun.

And you can see that on CobraTape.com. Go to CobraTape.com, get information and click on lessons from Wudan. These are stories that I wrote with my father when he was still alive when I was fighting professionally and they were beginning to be animated, producing animated series. So Tales of Wudan is already coming true. Also Planet T, which is something we're launching shortly, we're going to build an entire

artificial intelligence world built with AI.

Kind of think of Minecraft, but not geeky. We're going to build a brand new planet.

all members of hostas university are going to be allowed to own a percentage of this planet this brand new future we're going to own and mount wudan will exist and it'll be a place that you can visit on the planet once again more information exists about that go to cover tape.com click on ai to learn about the planet we're building and mount wudan will come true there and also go to the tales of wudan story read the tales and watch the animated series and all the tales have an important lesson in them if you join the war room we discuss the tales

at length and we also talk about the lessons that are inside of them but if you read them you should be able to decipher the lessons that are there for you

$10 for tape ledge.

Thank you very much, Dylan.

Kareem, I was diagnosed with stage four cancer five months ago. I want to let you know you both helped me stay strong and maybe mentally stronger. We're trying to beat this cancer. Good.

Gold, that's your green. I'm going to pray for you, bro. Absolutely. There's no advantage to being mentally weak in times of war. No advantage whatsoever. Yeah, and being a defeatist, there's no advantage to that either. So keep fighting, bro.

Andrew, Tristan, where's the best place to meet high quality women, dive bars, are usually filled with low quality women and the regulars?

You think those type of women are really wifeable? No, well, don't go to dive bars, Juan. I don't believe if you're a man trying to socialize at all, you should be hanging out at dive bars. It's not about low quality women are there. Low quality people are there in general. So Chief Brandon, the fact that you go to them,

tells me maybe you need to work on yourself a little bit. If you were going to the higher class establishments, five-star hotels, hotel bars, drinking coffee, dressed nice, you probably run into women that are a much higher quality. So that's like saying, oh man, I'm trying to get healthy food, but there's just none at McDonald's. I eat at McDonald's every day. I like going to McDonald's. I just can't find healthy food.

You're making the wrong choices in your life because you know you're looking in the wrong places, but you are also of the clientele of those places. If you don't stand out there, if you don't look like you're out of place, maybe you work a bit harder, bro.

Vladzzz, tell Tristan the story of the man who sold cars again.

I'm 21 years old. I have to tell you a story. I'm making 1.5K a month from passive income in Greece. I'm inside HU. Am I doing good in life for a 21 year old? I admire you guys a lot. You don't need me to tell you whether you're doing good or not. You probably know that yourself. I don't know enough about your life. 1.5K a month passive income. Yeah, cool. Are you also working? Because that's still fucking nothing. Although it's passive income, although it's

you know, money that you can, I guess, live on, you could live off 1.5k a month. It's still almost zero in the grand scheme of things. So if you're not working

50 hours a week. No, you're not doing well in life because you're not living up to your full potential.

So I would say

do better thoughts on the amish their values are based on who is in their lives and not

where and which, kind of the same values you were talking about in jail from the slave mine. Thoughts on the Amish? The Amish are, as far as I know, good God-fearing people. I mean, they...

In the 1980s, you would have thought they were a bit crazier because the world was very-- in the 1950s and '60s and '70s, certainly.

where the world was stable and nice and normal and men and women had marriages and had children and stuff. The Amish trying to abstain from all technology and abstain from the modern way of life.

seemed a bit crazier to me than it does in 2023.

I feel like if you could take some Amish elders around and show them

what has become of the world and they'd be truer in their convictions now than they would be in say the 1950s true but they're also still and this is the thing where mike makes right they're still relying on a degree of good grace from the government yes they have no capability they have no financial means they have no physical capabilities they don't talk about physicality and the american government were to one day outlaw them they had very little reproach or re

wouldn't be able to do shit. So when you're surviving based on charity, I don't think that's a good way to live. So it's good that they focus on the who.

but you should also be building up the what and the where's because you should be capable in all realms

especially when your enemies are capable in all realms. And Darwin said it's the most adaptable that survive. And I cannot imagine the Amish being very adaptable people. Agreed.

Wendell says, "Wanted to give to Tate Pledge. Been doing this 24 hours alongside you both. I'm currently in 1,115 push-up. How is this only 1/90th of what you went through?"

That's worth massive respect. Yeah, I want all of you to...

understand that to understand the full ordeal of what we went through. This is not an entertainment episode of Take Confidential. This is not an informational episode.

episode of

emergency meeting podcast. This is a recreation of what we went through in prison

so to get the full

perspective of what we went through are you have to play this video to yourself 92 times in a row

it would be a lot of the same that you've seen here laying down

you know, moments of silence, quietly reading, smoking cigarettes, pacing back and forth, doing push-ups.

We didn't write a script for this. We didn't want it to be entertainment value. We wanted it to be very reflective of the true experience. So if you have three months to waste,

watch this and lock yourself in your room and watch this 92 times in a row and then you'll understand what they put us through

for absolutely nothing. They've done damage to our lives, they've done damage to this country's reputation. I don't quite understand why it's happened yet.

All I know is

God is the best of planners and he will see me through this no matter what my enemies try to do.

The first place you'll visit after being released from house arrest was the mosque. So can we consider that your next visit might be to Mecca, Saudi Arabia for the pilgrimage after being completely free? That's a question to Andrew, I assume. God willing, it's coming. Food, Gurkha, I'm out. Being worked on.

God willing, it's going to come.

Serenity now 8:30. No.

Just wanted to make you guys a contribution to Take Plage. You guys are legends. We need more people that aren't scared to openly challenge the stats quo and promote traditional values. Thank you, Serenity Now.

You continue your operation, too.

I have an athletic body, not jacked and improving my finances a lot. I can't seem to find the attention of any female. I'm alone and have urges.

and needs as a man.

It's a gay way to say it.

What do you suggest? I suggest you become more important.

I suggest, firstly, you don't have urges and needs because that makes you sound like you're a coward to your urges and needs.

Thank you.

You are in control of every aspect of your life. And obviously you're not as important as you need to be to have the things you want in life. So clearly you need to become more important.

There is no shortcut to these things. People ask me questions looking for a shortcut. The difference between me and every other influencer is I'm not going to sit here and

slam women, insult women, blame women, blame the world. I don't blame on any of these things for the reason you're failing. I've always only ever taught masculine excellence because the only answer I've managed to see

genuinely works for the problems that you're facing in society today i'll chime in very quickly because i heard the way the question was phrased i have needs as a man it's phrased very badly and from that one line alone i can tell there's something broken in your mindset and the way that you look at things uh sexual access to a man is the most sacred thing

that a woman can possibly give you.

and

You having needs as a man has nothing to do with the equation, absolutely nothing.

is if I were sitting there in the middle of a field saying, I have needs as a man, I'm hungry, I have needs as a man, I'm starving, and I refuse to work, and I refuse to plant, and I refuse to plow, and I refuse to farm, and I refuse to grow anything, then who gives a shit that I have needs?

no one gives a shit women don't give a shit i don't give a shit and andrew doesn't give a shit

you wouldn't

Talk in such a desperate way if you had a better outlook on what it is you were trying to achieve.

I don't like the way your question was phrased.

Frankly.

Okay.

Alright.

all up from the ksa where's ksa uh i don't know

Why don't I feel can't say?

What can I say?

I don't know. - Make a live stream showing the boring work you do to maintain your wealth. It gives a good idea of what rich men go through to stay rich. - Imagine this, but me sitting on a laptop. - It's this, but us on a laptop. Can't say Saudi bro. - Ah, nice respect. - Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. - Yeah, correct. - Thank you, bro. I can't wait to visit Saudi. We're gonna come very soon. - Yeah, I'll be there.

And imagine this with us on laptops. We work endlessly. More comfortable chairs.

Hello, my name is Cuba. Thanks for inspiring me and showing us how your life can look like if you work hard and become the best version of yourself. Greetings from Poland.

Look forward to seeing you soon. We're in Warsaw soon, God willing.

Stay strong, top Gs. Keep up the strong mentality. Trust the process.

Hey Tate, I'm a 16 year old, I'm making 20k a month in the real world and training every day to be the best shape of my life. What do you recommend I do because I'm not old enough to join the war room?

You save your money, you keep training, become an absolute animal. And when you're 18, we'll be waiting for you inside of the war room because you still have a whole bunch more to learn. It's good you're making 20K a month so young. A lot of people think making money is hard. Making money is actually extremely easy once you know how to do it. If you're not making as much money as you want to make in the world today, it's completely your fault because I'll teach you how to do it. And it's not even difficult. Making money is easy. What's difficult?

after you make money is becoming the man that can

do the kind of things that makes money worth having, and also be the kind of handle the fact that you're rich. It's like a fast car. You have to be a very competent driver to drive the top of the range supercars. And if you're making $20,000, $30,000 a month,

and you're under 20 years old, you need to be working on being the type of man that can handle that without being hustled, without being robbed, without being gold dug, without being all the bad things that can happen to people with money. Completely true.

So you have a whole lot more to learn. So money is the easy part. And anybody who's still struggling with money hasn't even passed the first level.

There's 100 levels to life and money is level one, and it's truly the easiest. So I don't understand how anybody is struggling to make money today, especially when I'll teach you exactly how to do it. And I'll teach you for less than your lunch inside the real world. $100 for Tate Pledge.

"Can you show all the books you have with you in jail?" Much love, Oliver Jackson.

We have the Koran, we have the Bible, we have From Russia with Love with Ian Fleming,

the original bond we have the prophet muhammad but you meant being katir

and Carl von Klotswitz on war. And of course, the Count of Monte Cristo greatest book, my favorite book, my favorite fictional book.

Thank you.

Hello Andrew and Tristan, what's the most valuable lesson or insight you gained from this experience?

"Has this prison experience enhanced or deepened your brotherhood?" Well, that's easy. Yes, absolutely. It has enhanced or deepened our brotherhood. It shows that as long as we're together, nothing can break us.

What's the most valuable lesson or insight we gained from this experience?

There's been a whole bunch of lessons and insights, and I don't think I learned anything new as opposed to having things I already knew confirmed.

Yeah, I had a lot of things that I didn't, that I already knew about myself confirmed.

Thank you.

Um,

Also, I have no more fear of what they can do to me.

Now I feel like this persecution and the people who are involved in it are so fervently and adamantly obsessed with the idea of putting me in jail.

And I just know that these people's life sucks so much more than mine, even when I'm in jail.

So, uh, yeah, their obsession is, uh, their obsession, it's unhealthy. Uh,

It's criminal almost because you shouldn't be throwing innocent men in jail, whoever's doing this to me. And I would say that

Yeah, the reason they're doing it, I think, comes from a place of hatred.

I've learned that hatred is very destructive and hatred is very evil.

because I've got nothing but love for everyone and anyone in the world who I come across, and I could never do.

what has been done to meet anybody for any reason.

Absolutely beautiful to see the power of masculinity and brotherhood which you rarely could find anywhere else. Shows the true power force the force of Tate brothers. Thank you for your work. All brothers should be as close as us and I don't understand why they're not. The main reason is usually one of them is obsessed with a woman or some female petty bullshit or dick measuring or garbage. You have enough enemies in the world. You can have an ally. You can have someone on your side and that's what brotherhood's all about. Yeah.

Thank you.

Even if you just make fun of each other all day and tell each other to light themselves on fire. Correct. That's also love. Dear Mr. Henry Tate, I'd like to thank you for your two sons, Andrew and Tristan.

"Rest easy, sir."

Big G.

Thank you for the dedication. It was the big G.

Count of Monte Cristo, best movie ever made. Incorrect. Count of Monte Cristo, the best book ever written. Yeah, and the movie he ends up back with Mercedes. It's a farce. The plot line's kind of good.

But read the book, trust me, it'll take you about 56 hours on Audible, or probably 40 hours of actually reading.

Fuck the movie. The book's graced.

Truth always wins. The matrix attacks are no match for you. And Tristan's mental fortitude. Stay strong. Allows the best of clients. Ryan. Thank you very much, Ryan. You're completely correct.

Thank you to both of you for showing me what true brotherhood bond looks like. I never got to meet my brother before he committed suicide. My mother kept us separate when I'd he existed.

Sorry to hear that, but you can make new brothers.

and the way you make brothers in the world, the most fantastic way to get what you want is to give what you want. If you give love, you receive love. If you give tolerance, you receive tolerance.

You get respect, you get respect. Exactly. If you're a good brother to someone, you'll have a good brother back and maybe someone will screw you over, but you can't let that poison your heart and destroy you as a person.

Because I've got 10 brothers.

Yeah, we have a bunch of brothers inside the war room. We have more than just us two.

$100 for Tate Pledge, again, from OJ Rizzle, the same guy who asked about the books. Thank you, bro.

What different cigarettes you're smoking?

Thank you.

How much stuff can you do with $100 for Tate Pledge? We can do a lot with $100. I think, depending on which country the meals cost between $1.50 up to $3.50, depending where. So there's a lot of people who eat. It's 75, 80 children sat around a big table. Eating in your name. So thank you, brother. That means a lot.

We're smoking the same cigarettes we got in jail. Marlboro Storm Mist Cigarillos and Hard Chesterfields, which are a lot rougher.

Gotta mix it up.

Thank you.

$20 today I broke my record for a DB chest incline.

12 kilograms times eight for most that's easy for me it was tough I posted the video on X for users to see if I can do it you can too thanks for the motivation good good fever may have a new record to beat records must always be beaten you must always be pushing the only way to ensure you retain everything you have in life is to constantly be gaining and trying to achieve more and more which is why when a guy in fantastic physical shape wants to retain his body he still goes and tries to become stronger he tries to become bigger because it's a guarantee to retain think of everything as rent that you're paying whether it be your mind you have to keep reading and keep learning and keep

expanding your knowledge of the world, otherwise you stagnate and you lose it. Same with your physical fitness, same with your relationship with your brother or your friends or your wife or your girlfriend. Same with business relationships, same with your company. Everything is rented.

In 200 years, your company, your girlfriend, none of these things will exist anymore. You have to work to maintain them to the highest standard possible while you're still here and alive and breathing.

Absolutely. That would be true. How many of you got left?

I'm on

886. Nice! Woo!

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen.

How about that?

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

God's always watching.

*crying*

*crying*

uh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can you read these?

Yeah.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I understand, no?

My 118

Okay.

Salam.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

-

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nothing about time in jail.

*click*

No excuse not to do a thousand push-ups a day in jail.

300 or 400. A day in your normal life, but...

Thank you.

jail is no excuse. And let me tell you something to you young men out there.

Young men, most of you are in jail.

I'll explain something. Totally true. 12 years ago

Thank you.

I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with Andrew,

I had no money, no gas in the car, nothing to do.

There was nothing to do. Literally, I had a slight bit more entertainment than jail. I could have played video games. I didn't.

The point is most few young men are in jail.

You can't go out, you can't do anything. You can't do anything worthwhile. You can't put on any nice clothes that cost any money. You can't drive your car.

You are in jail. Do a thousand pushups. If you're at home all day and you find yourself at home all day and you love to go out and do things, but you can't.

you are in jail. That's what jail means.

They may not have as solid walls as some of the jails I've been in,

But I'm telling you, it's got invisible walls.

You can't just go to the south of France right now. Why? Because you're in jail. You're confined. One thing or another has confined you. You're confined in one way or another.

And that's why I laugh at a lot of my Landers haters

well, have fun in house arrest. I'm like,

You're under house arrest. Yep.

You're confined to house arrest basically for your entire life. Maybe on your wife's birthday, you could take her out to fucking Chili's.

But besides that, you're under house arrest anyway. Or you're locked in your office.

Yes, young men, many of you are in fact in jail.

So 1,000 push-ups a day, no excuses.

Agreed.

Thank you.

That's what jail means.

Many different forms of jail, bro.

Some people have no freedom at all, despite the fact that they've never been victim of a

judicial system or false accuser or anything that can get them thrown in jail

They have no freedom at all.

Thank you.

*cough*

Thank you.

Okay.

you

-

*sniff*

you

*sniff*

*sniff*

*thwink*

Yeah.

*sniff*

So I take...

92 days and one hour left.

Fucking hell, bro.

Fucking hell. It's insane, isn't it?

um,

*sniff*

Yeah.

Thank you.

you

So,

*sad music*

I'm going to start a little bit.

Thank you.

I've worn down my fingernail when it hurts.

You know, therapy.

Exactly.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I have to give credit to the team, Andrew. This was as close

That makes no difference, jail.

Literally, I have to give credit to the team.

yeah this was true the shouting the music playing the guards ransacking your room

the guards being rude and throwing yourself on the floor. It's... they really did nail it. I'm very happy. I explained what jail was like and left it down to my team.

the crappy potato soup.

like

100% jail.

Today I could have eaten nothing but steak and caviar and champagne and strawberries.

And I ate two bowls of potato soup, a potato, some ramen noodles, and an egg.

Authenticity is what matters.

Thank you.

Okay.

My Count of Monte Cristo revenge money is coming up every...

you

Oh, okay. Right.

Right.

All right.

All right.

There.

I'm going to go.

No time to be said. There's push-ups to be done. Exactly.

Nine out of the 36.

All right.

*poof*

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Can't be sad when there's push-ups to be done.

Because at the end of the push-ups,

It's happiness.

Exactly.

Correct.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

foreign

foreign

let me first

that's all i remember

You have to be a really ugly Spanish girl. We got Jacky doing it.

57 muscles back.

Ah.

That's confusing. Everyone's got keto. Too complicated.

best beers he's ever

Oh, my favorite song's open.

Devastated. Devastated.

Oh, push -ups more important than me walking around doing the dance.

Thank you.

All right.

Yeah.

All right.

You're right, I forgot about leaning. I forgot about leaning. I have seven pushups left.

And now at the end of my incarceration.

Having dealt with all I've dealt with,

Let the viewers know.

My Count of Monte Cristo.

Revenge plot comes full circle.

On the man

who upset me, on the man who everything bad has happened in my life.

It's his fault.

I remember trying to rest, and this man did a thousand push-ups.

and started screaming about how noodles in a cup were superior to noodles in a bowl. Well,

I have seven push-ups remaining, my friend. One.

Two.

three, four, five, six, seven,

Eight. 1,001 push-ups.

Noodles are better in a bowl.

How does that make you feel?

I feel bad. Like a saber strength to the heart. I feel terrible. You should.

1001 push-ups.

I could just do two push-ups. No, you can't, because I got you.

I got you now.

You did your personal it's a long while ago. Your time to shine is over.

The floor was mine, you officially handed over the push-up floor.

And I hand it back.

1001 push-ups.

Noodles are better in bulbs.

And he was going to have to eat that up.

with a bowl. And it's not. Mock and lie, I do feel very sad. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure you feel morally and intellectually defeated, what you've done.

It's devastating.

Thank you.

*pain*

I'm not sure.

Yeah, I know.

I'm going to lean this out. I finished my 1001 push-ups.

If you're at home and you've not done 1001 push ups, then you're a bitch ass.

Oh.

Come on, we'll be back.

No escape.

while in jail. There's no reason why not to do a thousand pushups. And of the however many of you watching this, thousands of you are in jail.

to do your golden workshops.

Most people's lives are jammed. Damn right. Especially when people hate us.

- Thank you, I'm not in jail.

With the liberal men who say we deserve to go to jail because we're a webcam company who also jerk off the webcams. Oh, yeah, them. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

The porn addicted freaks who completely fueled the industry with their money, who say that women are on total autonomous and can do anything they like without judgment when we hired web camels, which has nothing to do with our current case that these guys obsess over and jerk off over, think we should go to jail, yeah. Even though that has nothing to do with our heads, yeah.

Yeah, 100% into those people. They're in jail.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Where's that A? Huh? Hey? Where's that A? I don't know. What are they even saying?

no bless my god.

All glad to have you.

God bless you.

Thank you.

cannot defeat the slave programming of your week

*whistling*

*pain*

Thank you.

That was some pushups. Woo! Productive day in jail.

I fucking love jail!

Hand me this fucking copy.

loser

Stop eating coffee. - No, I won't stop.

There you go.

you

I'm about to do it. Because you did it. I don't want to do it.

I don't want therapy. I don't want coffee either.

Therapy and a cup of tea. Therapy and a hot chocolate.

Poor you, Marcel, loser.

Now we're talking. Woo!

Laser eye focus. Back into the real world, Andrew.

We're back.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Oh.

*clap*

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

Coming out of jail the first time was insane. Crowds of people screaming, "Top G, Top G, Top G."

Thank you.

I knew that was just the beginning of our redemption arc, Andrew.

i knew because i i don't say anything i'm not i knew there'd be smart people out there who want to know what goes on

people smart and diligent enough like Kendex Owens who actually digs up what's going on and shows the whole world. "Extris, an andrute!"

I want you to do it gentlemen!

Funny thing is, this and stuff that does at Supermania.

I'm telling him we're going home. I'm sorry. Fuck the Matrix, bro.

No, we'll definitely write to you, bro. Yeah.

My snowing yeah

Good jail friends. I'm going to write to our jail friends actually. Not him.

But you know what?

Being in jail for 24 hours made me realize

Those dudes are with.

Thank you.

I'm going to write them a letter.

*sigh*

Yeah, I know some guys I need to wear those too.

Remember, I said at the beginning of the stream, no matter where you are, if you're in a city, unless you live out in the countryside, if you're in a city, you're just a couple miles away, maybe just a couple blocks away.

from a room full of men who you will never meet and never see. Pray you better not meet them, because there's only one place to meet them.

Ain't the fucking local cafe.

It's Jay.

It's jail, jail men.

and some of them were innocent.

There are jail men all over this world.

men packed together living in squalor.

And most of them deserve it, which is the good news.

The good news is most of them deserve it.

Me and Andrew do not tolerate criminality or criminal behavior.

*poof*

That's 45 minutes in jail, Andrew, what we discussing.

Thank you.

discussed a lot of very important things. Do you know why we had to go to jail?

Do you know why we had to go to jail?

I was important on a life mission that we know.

Do you know why the Matrix had to send us to jail from their perspective?

because Tom Holland got bombed in a movie. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah.

But I also think

I say gold is the best of planners. You say law is the best of planners.

I feel jail is good for me.

Everything bad that's happened to us is good for us.

Everything bad that's ever happened to us helps you grow. Everything bad that's ever happened to me was good for me. I'm a more complete and more well-rounded man.

since being falsely imprisoned in jail for a crime that doesn't exist.

Not a crime I didn't do.

Not a crime that I'm innocent of.

a crime,

that doesn't exist. No one was trafficked. They didn't get the wrong guy.

It's a completely made up crime.

that never took place.

So yeah, but going to jail,

has only made me stronger and more powerful

and a more feared opponent in every realm of human endeavor.

Correct.

Bad things are supposed to happen to us, or men.

And so when they picked me up and they said, night in jail, I was like, okay, we'll see, see what happens.

They said, "A month in jail?" I said, "Fuck, I can't do a month in jail."

Shit, I didn't think I'd mentally break. I was just like, my life, I don't know how I'll hold things together. A month in jail is such a long time.

I don't fear your stupid pathetic weapon. You want to fucking make up fake crimes?

called Bank Robbery Next, put me in jail.

MR PALLADINO: Fuckers.

Thank you.

They can't stop me from smoking cigarettes.

Sure they can.

Can't take my cigarettes away. Always for cigarettes. Always.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow.

Thank you.

I don't know.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are we doing jail again next month?

We'll see.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sigh*

I spent my last little bit in jail.

Having a nice, relaxing nap.

Goodnight.

Good night, world. Hope you enjoyed this 24-hour podcast.

Tate special jail adventure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Couldn't do that in the real jail. The beds were thinner or something, or too close to the wall. It still hurts my finger. You couldn't get enough purchase.

They don't want you to have anything to hang yourself on, so it's hard to get grip on anything.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The hit of coffee really relaxed me. I don't feel physically sick with a spinning head.

I feel nice and mellow.

and chilled.

Thank you.

Is that a thing? What? Loads of raw coffee granules. Yeah. Yeah.

We've almost used our whole jar of coffee. So?

Yeah, almost. What are we, pussies?

Well, half a jar in a day. What is this? Amateur?

Amateur hour, those are rookie numbers. Go pump those numbers up.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Admit I don't have a face.

Andrew.

This is your ancestors.

Light yourself on fire.

I'm thinking about lighting myself on fire. That's a really good idea. You think? Yeah.

Who do you think wants me to do it? Our ancestors.

Thank you.

I should do it.

Good way to end the stream.

It would be interesting. What are the downsides? Burning and dying. Only two, but the upsides are it looks cool. Loads of views go viral. Goes viral. Because we need to go viral because, you know, we need to do stupid shit for views because we have nothing interesting to say. Nice and warm, comfy and warm. Right, comfy and warm. Never be cold again for the rest of your life.

I'll be warm to the end of my life if I set myself on fire. That's true. I'll never be cold again for the rest of my life. That's got to be an upside.

That is an upside. You'll never be cold again, because you hate the cold.

I do hate the cold, yeah.

Thank you.

Interesting. If there were another way to make sure that you were never cold for the rest of your life, you'd do it.

But I think this may be the only way. It would guarantee that I'm never cold again for the rest of my life. Ever?

ever.

All I have to do is set myself on fire. Everything will be fine. Until I'm dead. Yes.

Interesting.

I'm strongly considering it.

Well, there are plenty of idiots who set themselves on fire for YouTube views. You've seen it.

no retards they put like alcohol on their head or on their ass and they try and light it on fire and then they run around like jackasses getting third degree burns

Really? Yeah. It's a real phenomenon. The world's fucked, bro.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, the world is fucked, isn't it, my friend? What's wrong with people?

Gotta keep fighting the good fight.

against the degeneracies of the world

Keep people in the straight and narrow.

I have to go to jail once a month for the rest of my life.

I'll do it.

Nice 24-hour jail stream.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think it might be a thousand squats next time I'm in jail though.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Nice 1000 squats.

yeah a bit of pushups each

Do me?

True. Well, I actually did 1001 because noodles need to be eaten from bowls.

And to prove that I was morally superior to you, I suffered more.

We're going to do a poll and we're going to ask the world if Doodles belong in bowls or cups.

Okay, find Andrew on Twitter. I'll retweet it.

when you get devastated,

The loser has to set himself on fire.

Hehehehe.

Okay.

Deal.

Deal.

I'm in.

Sign me up.

That's what I'm talking about.

Thank you.

What am I going to do when I'm out of jail this time?

Go out, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to get the boys because I missed them.

I'm going to sit around the table and have a nice cold glass of wine.

You can have a cigar and an espresso because you need some more coffee.

I'm going to sit and smoke cigars and talk about why life is great.

and share knowledge and information.

because that's

the best thing to do in life.

That's what I plan to do, my friend.

Could even watch a movie.

Nah, movies are a waste of time.

oh there is a movie that we have to see together though sounds really good

Ant-Man and the Wasp.

You in? That does not sound good. Doesn't it?

It's Ant-Man, Andrew.

I think we need to watch Ant-Man and the Lost personally.

Thank you.

What do you think?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amen to the lost.

Avatar 2, pretend to be someone else, pretend to be a big blue chick.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Final thoughts on Neil deGrasse Tyson's selling out to anti-science.

Bro, if your brand is science, you can't... What the fuck is wrong with these people? That's what I said. His brand is science, Gene. That's what I said. Only one man, only Richard Dawkins is holding the line. It's not like his brand is something else and he's just commenting on unrelated issues. Yeah, his brand is science and truth.

He was on the board that demoted Pluto as a planet. Why? Because Pluto's technically not a planet, so we have to- Is he an atheist Neil deGrasse? I have no idea what his beliefs are.

I have no idea what's the rules of police on.

Thank you.

I will say at least Richard Dawkins stuck to his guns.

when asked about

male and female genders. I know no there was only two.

Of course, it's our biologist.

Fair play.

Nice grumpy old English man.

Yeah.

Also, all of them are

Trump butthurt. Why are they so butthurt about Trump?

Sam Harris is the biggest fucking idiot. What's he famous for again? I don't even know. Is he supposed to be an intellectual?

Because everything he says sounds stupid.

What if COVID was 100% fatal and vaccines were 100% safe?

Mate, if ifs and buts were candies and nuts... Dummy. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, fucking retard.

*sniff*

What kind of things you have for Alguibra is this?

because of clown what if mcdonald's was 100 healthy and laying on the couch helped you build muscle

Then you two wouldn't be so against eating McDonald's every day and laying on the couch, would you?

Well, no.

But we're talking about a hypothetical reality that doesn't exist

And just because you were super pro laying on the couch and eating McDonald's for fucking a year because you were terrified and masking up. Coward. Does not mean you could give me impossible hypotheticals.

And pretend that that's the real universe, Sam Harris, fucking DNG. He's a DNG. He's a DNG! Anyone who thinks he's smart is a DNG, too. He's not smart. He's an idiot.

I didn't read. The problem with weaklings, they don't really understand the world, no matter how much they read, because they're weaklings. Yeah, they're weaklings, they don't understand the world.

I didn't really know who he was until Trump was running and he became a super anti-Trump

That's when he first came to my attention.

node.

He's a nerd, isn't he?

- He's a nerd. - And you can be a nerd without being smart.

Yeah, you could be a nerd about being smart. It's easy. I'm just a nerd. The world's full of them.

Thank you.

Midwit nerds. Yeah, midwit nerds.

Middle brains. Let me tell you something. You could be educated without being smart.

100%. Intelligence and education are two very different things. 100%. I'll sit down with anybody.

and bury them in intellectual arguments and I'm technically uneducated.

I got a master's degree in what? Being propaganda. Yeah. And you might be. There's a 1% chance that you're a top 1% intellect person. But the fact that you got your degree doesn't increase that. You're probably a dummy because everyone's dumb. The smartest people didn't need a degree. Yeah, exactly. You're responsible for dummies and degrees.

You can buy an education, you can't buy intellect.

Thank you.

.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*chip*

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Those are the type of people in the world never to listen to, by the way. If someone says they're smarter than you and then starts citing their education,

they're actually

just proving that they're probably not smarter than you.

If they say they're more educated than you and say they have a different cool, fine.

If they say they're smarter than you,

And

cite their education as proof

You should dismiss these types of people.

A street pimp from the United States named Pimpin' Ken.

who used to be famous he was in a bunch of music videos and stuff back when uh 50 cent was big

He once said,

If you knew better, you'd do better.

and to me that's one of the most truthful things in the world there'll be people out there be like oh i love to debate the tapes because i know about this and that and they're not actually that smart and blah blah and these people like try to be rich or driving like a nice mercedes i'm like

If you knew better than me, you'd do better than me. How are you sitting there with no viewers, no subscribers, no one wants to listen to you, so you haven't got the respect I have, you've got nowhere near the money I have, you can't do the stuff I have, you're nowhere near as successful as me in any realm of life.

talking about smarter than.

You clearly don't know better.

Yeah.

If you knew better, you'd do better. Pimping Ken. Remember that quote.

Because any time there's anyone, because hate always comes from below,

doing far worse than you in life.

talking about how they know better than you and how you're not smart and how their worldview is better

Cool, then why is your life so shit?

Because I'm telling you, my life's fucking perfect.

It works.

Nerds geeks.

The NG's. The NG's.

It's a very good quote.

very underrated and I don't even know

an intellectual

equivalent of that.

I didn't know if you knew better, you do better.

No one's ever said anything like it.

in a better way. Does that make sense? I know of.

Bro, do you remember in jail when we found out we were going home?

Yeah, I remember.

Fucking hell.

when we found out we were going home from jail.

It's crazy.

We were dancing around the room.

It's crazy. We were doing the new Rolls Royce dance, which I can't really remember. What's this? It was like, what's the new Rolls Royce dance? Ah, shit, I need to remind myself. It's been a while to sleep with the Rolls. So let's buy one next week. Let's buy a new Rolls Royce. The dance just comes to you? I think it does. You know, Luke, you ever bought a new Rolls Royce? He says no, and you say loser. Yeah. You call him a loser, aren't you? He's a fucking loser.

Your cousin.

I don't have a problem.

- You have my cousin. - I don't have any cousins.

- All right guys.

You know the crazy thing is, me and you don't run away from problems ever.

Thank you.

It was said in court,

If you release these guys from prison, they're going to run away from the country via helicopter because they're rich and they're going to interfere with the case. But what did I do? Nothing. Zero rules. Stay in my house.

The judges who let me go, I respect them enough to break any of their rules. And then the next week, they're saying, you can't release them from house arrest because they'll escape and they'll interfere with the case. I'm like, you said that last week.

About jail.

And now we're free to go around the city.

And we heard the arguments.

that we'd somehow escape the country, run away from what?

My daughter and all the money they took from me in my house, in my home. We're running away from shit. What, some false allegation bullshit TikTok nonsense?

Fuck yourself.

So when they do let me go and let me travel,

I'm coming straight back whenever they ask to see me, because I want to clear my fucking name. See, a lot of people don't understand. A lot of nerds don't understand how important your name is to you.

Most of my fans know Tristan Tate and Andrew Tate as upstanding characters and law-abiding citizens in this world, but there are haters in this world convinced I'm a criminal.

No, I don't want you putting fucking smoke on my name. I don't want you telling, even thinking that I'm a bad person.

So you can think I'm a bad person as much as you like,

After I clear my name,

Fuckers.

You can't do this.

I bet I could.

Got it? No.

We can do it.

I'm gonna add my legs.

Give me a cigarette.

- No, I have no head. - Give me the cigarettes. - I have no head. - You have no head, give me the cigarettes. - Say it again? - You have no head.

No face. And there's a lighter there as well. Ah, lighter as well. I have no arms. Ammit it? I admit it.

I could have thrown you an empty packet there and got you.

Under the chair.

Under the chair.

Thank you.

Where are the cigarettes? I think they're over there.

Tristan wants to have a smoke, so he said I have no legs.

Where are the cigarettes? They are under the chair. Under the chair. Under the chair. Tristan needs to smoke. Where are the cigarettes? Over there.

outside of jail they work all day inside this cell I spoke good night

Thank you.

Yeah.

They can all break me.

I'm just to take me on the road around.

How one got left in jail? How one got left in jail?

Just wait for the court's decision made.

I have a close decision.

Mr. Producer.

Okay.

- -

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Namaste, please.

All right.

You're not today. You have Mr. Produced none of this episode. Wrong.

You do this to jail.

Wrong. I did all that in noticing. No, that's not true. We've had no access to electronics. Even when we went to the police station, we didn't touch electronics.

.

Thank you.

What time is it?

Thank you.

What can you answer me? I'm going to do it over.

You are so funny. 23 minutes left in jail.

Thank you.

What do we discuss for the next 23 minutes?

Thank you.

*pain*

*whistles*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hmm.

what is there to discuss bored of talking to you god knows how i did it for now in three days

Was it '92 or '93? Were we released on the 93rd? Were there 92 full days?

But we got picked up at close to midnight. It's hard to tell. I actually need to work it out.

Thank you.

Under the chair

Thank you.

You can sit around and smoke a cigarette with you all day. You know what I'm gonna do as soon as I'm free? Sit around and smoke cigarettes with you, my friends.

As soon as we're free, let's get out of here and then let's go sit in the water and smoke and sit and talk shit. Yeah, let's go sit down and smoke and talk.

We haven't done that enough. We have done that enough now.

That's all we do.

Best thing about life.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Especially when you have very few worries to worry about, apart from the Matrix trying to put you in jail and completely ruin your entire life and reputation. These things are...

He's, they're dummies bro.

Sick of these dummies.

They're in jail. I'll put myself in jail for fun on the internet.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

and buy my patented Storm Jim Tellers Man t-shirt.

project released.

That teacher's still in a thousand push-ups. A thousand and one.

How upset are you with my Count of Monte Cristo style revenge plot? Have I upset you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nah, leave it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Need it.

What did we do when we were leaving jail? We used all the bleach, dance around like this,

Thank you.

Thank you.

We did this for hours. It was like three hours before we got released. I was screaming I don't want to leave. I ain't going nowhere. I live here. Weather trying to take me out. Weather trying to keep me out of my house. Rent's free. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. Should we use all the mouthwash? Yeah. We use the bleach. Just super clean the shower. We're going home. We're going home. We're going home. Use the mouthwash again and again and again.

You used the black bin bags? Oh yeah, the black bin bags, only had two of them left.

Use both of them. Put a little bit of rubbish on each.

We stopped rationing everything. We smoked endless cigarettes. Endless cigarettes. We used everything up. We ate Oreos in four packets. Yeah, I feel so sick.

But I'm fucking facing the cameras, I'm like, ah, my laser focus from the coffee.

was a

It was all that.

Helped me.

all that fortified me

I like a T-shirt.

What else did we do?

High five. We're honest.

We made loads of jokes about how we didn't appreciate our last few days in jail. We just ordered forever.

We kept saying we didn't appreciate jail while we had it.

So we're back.

We send ourselves back.

Back in the other...

Quack-a-doo-doo.

Thank you.

Thank you.

we are back in jail we're everybody doing yeah so we use all the bleach which we were rationing we used the mouthwash we were right all we think we were rationing all the oreos everything was rationed we used because we were worried about the bleach for the cockroaches we're running out

or used at all. I sat in the chair one last time. Sat in the chair, yeah. Nice. One last ride on old cherry. Wonder how that chair's doing? Wonder how she's holding up?

Ah, room five.

Thank you.

and granted our freedom is just the beginning.

Thank you.

and we're releasing this will be freer than we've ever been. I think.

because our minds will be freer.

Thank you.

part of my mind, part of my soul still lives inside that jail, appreciating the life I'm living on the outside. I like how Neo's mind gets stuck in the Matrix.

Mm-hmm.

Part of my soul is in that room, Andrew. Whether you believe in that or not, something, some essence of me is in that. The inferior, weaker man that I was when I went into jail, part of that essence is in that jail cell.

forever. And he's looking out the window at the life I'm living, thinking, wow, what a good fucking life.

Maybe we're still in jail. This is all a dream.

Thank you.

- Then we're gonna wake up tomorrow in the jail. - Well, the real jail. - Everything that happens, this is what got out.

All of the podcasts and global fame and all that stuff and this, this all just made up. We've been the most watched interviews of all time in world history of any human ever. Maybe I wake up tomorrow in jail.

And that's it.

and no one's gonna care, I'm gonna tell them to do something about us.

Thank you.

.

Okay.

Let's do the Koran quote then. Every day in jail, we'd open the Koran at a random page and find a quote which was applicable to our situation. Yeah. I think it would go more towards the back this time. I'm just going to choose a random page. I think it would go the time.

Scan it, find the Quran quote.

of the day, the Quran quote of the day.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you've got prayers to do when you get out of here, still a few hours of the day left.

Thank you.

Those who rejected the truth will be led to hell in their throngs.

When they arrive, its gates will open.

And its keepers will say to them,

Were you not sent your own messengers to recite the revelations of the Lord to you and warn you that you will meet this day?

Thank you.

You open club.

Thank you.

That's a good Quran quote of the day. In jail there was a daily Quran quote. We opened up the... Every single day we opened the Quran and we found a page. And there was always something applicable to our situation. Those who reject the truth won't be punished. Let's do it again.

a new page.

I will tell you

that this day will come for those who have rejected the truth.

this day will come, the Quran is correct.

the day when you face judgment for all that you have done.

*shrie*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

*breath*

Thank you.

There's no one on every single page.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I know there is, bro. I've read more Quran than most non-Muslims in the world.

Thank you.

Knowledge is power.

Thank you.

you

*sniff*

Amen.

One of the admins can tell us how much we made for TatePledge during this 24 hours.

Thank you.

Yes, that'd be very good to know. I'd like to acknowledge all the Super Chats. It's all going through good calls, me and Andrew.

Yeah.

you know, we donate above and beyond all sorts of charities, all sorts of causes. I mean, I'm the kind of guy that comes across GoFundMe pages for

sick people, dying people, good charities, good causes. I recently gave to a charity called The Gift of Chess.

which their ethos is

spreading knowledge of chess around the world, because in countries that lack educational infrastructure, in countries that lack schools, chess is a very good way of getting

and understanding and knowing the powers of deductive reasoning, the powers of logic. Chess is very, very good in substitute.

of a perfect educational system. So all across Africa and the Middle East, they're spreading the gift of chess. I gave them $6,000 because I randomly came across their page. Me and Andrew are very generous people.

We'd like to help out.

anyone and anywhere we can.

and

Yeah, this is all going to go very well. Can the admins tell us how much we've made? This is all going to go to Tate Pledge, which is our personal charity.

with people on the ground that, um,

Thank you.

specialize, I mean we've fixed various roofs and book washing machines for various families and a few other things, but we specialize in feeding people.

especially children.

No child in the world should be without food. - Yeah. - Not one. - Food's too cheap.

Not a single child on earth should be without food.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

I don't know how much was donated.

from our loyal viewers and that's the thing you know there are guys who go on stream and talk shit that's poisonous for your mind poisonous for your mind all for selfish gain

They'll play video games. They'll make you watch them play video games. And it's for selfish gain. They make their money or they make their super chats. What do they do with it?

Maybe upgrade their car, upgrade their life.

Um.

This has not been pleasant, by the way. Obviously, I would much rather have spent this day with one of my kids. That would have been better.

but

We do it in the hopes that you all see what has been done to us, what has been taken from us, what we were put through. This is a very accurate and true to the experience representation of what jail was like.

Jail was actually harder than this, obviously.

But, um,

Yeah, it's been a very unpleasant 24 hours.

and I hope that you've all enjoyed watching it.

So we appreciate all the donations, all that money, and we've gained nothing from this.

personally

but to let our fans know, obviously, what we were put through.

and all the money made.

is going to go to a very good call. So lots of people in the world who are deserving

of help, food, and support are going to get it

because of what was achieved here. So I'll pat myself on the back a little bit.

I do not mind putting myself through difficulties.

if it helps others.

Clearly, otherwise I was going to shut our mouths three years ago and just...

No one would know who we are, but we'd be living fucking without risks of jail for sure. Yeah.

Thank you.

So that looks good. Just another day in jail.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A lot of great books in here.

We've only read a few lines of each, but I hope you are

If you have some spare time,

Although reading will not make you financially successful and reading will not really do much in the way that's going to better your life financially, which I've always agreed with my brother up on. Stay away from success porn books, books about mindset to make you rich.

The only people those books make rich are the people who write them. Ignore all those, but there's nothing wrong

with indulging in entertainment.

and books are a higher form of entertainment than Netflix or video games, and most of the entertainment that you guys partake in. So if you wish to read The Count of Monte Cristo from Rush with Love,

Good. If you're an atheist and you wish to pick up the Bible and the Koran, even better. Either or

You know, although I'm not a Muslim myself, you're an atheist, you pick up the Quran and read it cover to cover.

I believe that you will change your mind and I believe that it will be a massively powerful

beneficial experience for your life.

um knowledge is power that's why i'm reading a book about the prophet muhammad peace be upon him

I like to know about my brother's faith. I have lots and lots of good Muslim friends now.

in the Middle East.

And just out of respect for them, I like to know everything. I want to know everything.

and knowledge can be found in books much more than it can be found on fucking netflix

10 minutes left, G.

10 minutes. Nap.

Coffee.

Sleep.

I'm a walking circle.

You want to walk in a circle? Cool.

I'm going to enjoy the chair for a little bit. And I'm going to get up and smoke a cigarette. We haven't smoked much today, haven't we?

No, we haven't smoked enough today. I've only smoked about 30.

Thank you.

I don't know if I'm telling anyone you're not.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Why do I feel nervous when we really go out of jail?

because this has brought back the experience.

It's almost like PTSD, which is very real. In the first few hours in here,

No phone, no device, you don't know what's going on in the outside world, you're stuck in a room with a bunk bed.

and a cigarette and a coffee.

just waiting for the next meal to come through the door. It was a horrible experience and this has brought all of it back.

Thank you.

PTSD is a very real thing. Yeah, well it's actually a lot less comfortable I thought it would be a lot more uncomfortable.

the team did exceptionally well.

The team did exceptionally well.

We explained what jail was like and we gave them instructions to emulate it.

And even though we thought this room was too big, I'll tell you something. This side of the room is all cameras and wires and stuff and we can't go over there. So it has limited the space in here massively.

So that's very authentic.

Only one cockroach that I found earlier.

That's a coincidence, I guess.

but it was some sort of beetle, not a cockroach. This building doesn't have cockroaches. I didn't want to release cockroaches into my own building.

and then have them in the crevices laying eggs and have to call an exterminator. So,

No, I...

We didn't see our ninja moves killing. Yeah, I didn't do the cockroaches, but I did kill a fly and I did kill a beetle.

We were slapping the walls all day.

all day.

Especially at night, that's when they crawl out.

from the frames of the bunk beds

from the holes in the wall, the cracks in the paint,

Cockroaches are fucking voracious. You can fucking find them everywhere. It's insane.

cockroach the size of your half of my thumb

would fit into the tiniest little fucking hole in the wall.

somehow.

clever little bastards.

So obviously we pour bleach everywhere and try to kill them all.

but

Thanks for them.

I did not have to share a cell with the cockroaches.

The roaches had to share a cell.

with me.

God help them.

That's the way I see it.

Yeah, vastly unpleasant experience and this has brought all back. This has been a very unpleasant 24 hours.

Thank you.

the beds aren't comfortable, way too hot in here,

I've been sweating all day.

All in all a productive stream.

Lots of money made for hungry people. And my fans now understand what I went through.

Which is important.

*sniff*

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Last cigarette? Last cigarette.

Last fucking coffee, mate.

Fucking hell thing.

The plastic, I'm not gonna admit that cybernetic organisms cannot eat as much coffee as biological humans because it's plastic stomach. Oh, therapy!

Thank you.

I do not want therapy, so there's no play complaining.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Woo! Now we're the face of war with laser focus. Now it's time for one last cigarette. After this, we can go sit down and talk to each other and smoke.

Thank you.

Bum ourselves up on coffee.

The all that energy for jet. The fucked up thing is we do this when we knew we weren't getting out. We do this and we have three weeks left at least and we just buzz up on coffee for no reason. Let me call each other pussies.

for not doing that.

Thank you.

I defeated you with a push-up challenge and came to the conclusion. Oh, I feel sick. Got bowls of red for noodles. And I did that via push-ups. Remember everyone at home, Mike is right.

- We're gonna have a poll mate.

A poll?

Might is right.

I sung better songs than about noodles in a cup.

The songs didn't matter, Andrew.

Good day.

...

I'm going to write a newsletter about this tomorrow. So if anyone is not in the newsletter, go to CobraTake.com and sign up. Write a newsletter about what I've learned.

my revisit to jail yeah if i don't twitter i'll be tweeting my thoughts newsletters free it's on covertape.com

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Raised over 10K for take pledge. - Over $10,000? - Yeah, so let's say average price of $2 a meal is $5,000.

5,000 meals, G. Worth it. I go to jail any day for 24 hours to feed 5,000 kids. It's some good shit. 100%.

Thank you.

absolutely worth it thank everybody who donated yeah everyone thanks for 5 000 children you're going to see all of it on twitter account i post every time that everybody's eating you'll see it all

Take Pledge, follow us on Twitter.

Thank you.

Enjoy my last cigarette.

I'm gonna do a bit of a mixed bag. I'm gonna do a bit of a bag set.

nice lean nice to chair wow to stroll hell he did the whole drill jail tour i didn't do a lay down

Oh, you missed that again. Okay, so...

That's it. Okay, see if I can get this right.

To lean, just roll. Okay. To chair. To stroll. To lay down. To do all the different fucking...

All the phases of jail come from.

Good to them all. I think you should do it, Andrew. I don't know about man enough. All of you have comfort at once. It is. I mean, it's like tasting all the foods at a buffet.

At the same time, it's a lot of joke on purpose.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know what song was playing for us outside when we were released from jail?

Everyone came and sat outside the jail in their cars and started playing a song. Was it your theme day?

It was our thing, too. Right. I remember hearing it, knowing that they were waiting for us.

Yeah.

I feel like whoever's running this shit show of a horrible jail experience,

is to start playing the theme tune.

Thank you.

So it's time to once again leave these walls in your back to our normal life. But you don't understand, I'm free, always.

in my mind that I am free.

I can walk out here, I can walk out of jail.

I used to this for 92 days. Having more fun than how long you have.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This poster represented this trip in jail, baby. 1-1.

One.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

1 ,000

1,000 pushups.

Matrix has attacked us, Justin. - And yet? - I think everybody else.

They can't break our spirits. That's the only victory. That's the only victory. Strong spirit and God's health. Side by side. Remember what bullshit they come up with. We're gonna fuck it.

We're going to fucking win. Man, we're fucking right. All I do is win.

I'm having four hours of jail.

It doesn't matter what bullshit they come out with,

to you, no matter what, you and I are still going to be on the same fucking team. It doesn't matter what garbage they try, it doesn't matter what they lie they tell, what they come up with, you and I are going to remain on the same fucking team. And as long as we're on the same team. The millions of young men who listen to us. You are not going to convince these people that I'm something I'm not. Because they have the power of reason, and the power of logic, and the power of being smart and listening to their own convictions. All is on our side. The truth is on our side. And in the end, the truth will set us free.

And this bullshit will damage the credibility of the Matrix even further, so they will struggle to damage the lives of men who don't deserve it. So we are suffering with reason. Their weapon is blunted on our armor. They think they're hitting us, they think they're striking us, but they come to swing this sword at someone else. When someone else worthy of respect comes out and says the things that you want to say, time to go.

Be there.

you guys thank you thank you free to go

Thank you.

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