Transcript
Someone stole an ice cream. Shit! Who was it? I was looking for the guy who's following. I don't know who was. Fuck!
What's the liberty?
Thank you.
- What are you doing? - What are you doing?
*Loud noise*
Okay.
- Thank you.
-
- Thank you.
They call me the farmer, that's my name. Making my rounds all over town, putting out on flames. Nice. Hey, where we go? Come back. They say you continue? No. No. Please, no, it's fine. No, it's fine. No, it's fine.
- I think I'm gonna stop.
I don't know.
Let's go.
- You gotta stop.
- Yeah?
El Smith, Joe, por favor.
Yeah.
Last night.
Fuck off.
- Thank you.
friendly divider. Good thing about Spain is ice creams are free
- What?
He's walking to the establishment.
Look him in the eye.
That's not true, I see.
I have never once had a free ice cream. Si, senor.
One moment.
I'm struggling here. - I didn't know that about Spain. That's cool.
Did I pay for it?
I'm eating it yes
Where am I?
True, Spain. - In Spain. - You eat a free ice cream? - Free.
Makes sense to me.
- And then went to go and stopped again.
Oh, my God. This isn't the M.O.K. crisis.
- Oh, I have.
Bye.
Was you driving a Cascade? You told him anyway, didn't you?
What's happening? Be fair though lads, I'd be pissed off if I was on 24,000 euros a year as well. Does that work? Yeah. One and one.
Someone stole an ice cream. Shit! Who was it? I was looking for the guy I was calling. I don't know who it was. Fuck. An ice cream? I'm gonna call a whole ice cream.
He saw sick people in this world. Rumor has it he's worth $100 million.
Jay told those cops to get fucked And I'll tell you why the cops didn't beat the shit out of them Because they know that we wouldn't let them Because we're English And they've been around So now they've called for backup and shit So we're bouncing Before they take all the cars and end our little fucking trip Because if they started hitting Jay All of us would jump on What the fuck you do with that and get in the way Yeah, yeah, see you there bro That's a treat You're 100% correct
got in the way. You're right. Held them, stopped them. Even if we didn't beat them up ourselves. So that's why they didn't get violent because they knew. Yep. They got them up ahead. Yeah, but they've set up. So one of them said they're setting up and if they haven't yet, they're definitely going to. They ain't letting that slide. Nope. So we're going to bounce. So we're going to disappear. Also, rumor has it some very handsome, tall, sexy, strong, intelligent, humble, gorgeous man with a hundred million dollars, even though he's filthy rich, kept
Really? He's on the loose. He's on the loose. It's like because there was a line. He didn't want to wait in the line. He just saw fucking start stealing ice cream. Unbelievable. So we definitely, definitely have to get out of there before the police find out about that. Because they're looking for him. Man, they're fucking on him. Bro. It's the ice cream stealer. It's a big, it's a big, it's a big bet.
Fucking ice cream. Man. Yeehaw. Fuck Spain. Fuck Spain.
So we've all disappeared. We're all getting out of here. Little do they know, although they think they're trying to run to save them, the ice cream thing is mumbling. What do you mean? It's me, Luke. You stole the ice cream. I know. I know you. I was the last person you suspect. I covered my tracks by eating an ice cream in front of everyone. I was actually the only person eating an ice cream. Smart, no? But it turns out, all along,
It was me. You're the ice cream thief. I'm the ice cream thief. The notorious ice cream thief. I'm the ice cream thief. So they're after you. They're not after Jay after what happened. No, they're after me. And now that you guys are with me, we're all going to jail. Shit! We're all going to jail. Fuck. Spanish jail. Spanish jail. So what, siestas and tapas? Basically the same as Spanish life, really. Okay. And I'm gonna fuck all those today. Fucking lazy Span groups and cucks. I'm gonna be fucked a lot. Where's your armada? Oh, you ain't gone.
I'm not one.
Everyone extra.
So we're deep in bowl town.
Yeah, this is where they, the bowls chase people.
Imagine being Spanish. They can imagine it.
you're like small hola i want to run from from bulls for fun i'm lazy i work two hours a day siesta hola this is what spanish goes like hola just like imagine like being spanish hola every business you go to is closed because yeah why open right just sleep like they've set up for the bulls
If I was in the Lambo, I could make a bunch of jokes about the Lambo, because it's the Bull and 600 horsepower, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I'm not with the Porsche. And I'm sure that Boris isn't saying anything like that, because Boris ain't cool enough. Boris didn't think about it, did he? He didn't think about saying, "I'm the big bull here, 600 bulls in one. Big boss talk to you." "Trying to run away from me." "I'll catch you, run you down, everyone dying." "None of that shit, he's just driving his car."
Just driving his car. What can we do, Luke? It's not easy to make an entertaining YouTube series when everyone around us is a boring cut.
Go out your black and jans, come out and fight me like a lad. Show your wife how you were medals down in Flanders. Tell her how the IRA made you run the hell away. From the green and rocky lanes of Kaila Srander.
so
Yeah, it's up good roads now, yeah? It's supposed to be? It's Portugal now, I've never driven to Portugal before.
with dates in my senior prom.
They took a partner's son, she ain't no kid. That's a cocktail waitress and a dollar part wedding. I said I know a nation crew, that's the kind I did.
I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
Sterling what happened?
Well, I'll tell you what happened, Rory. I thought, I'll have the day off of driving. I've been driving
Don't stop the last couple of days. You know what? I'll let Rory.
drive the car. It was a great idea. And guess what? Well, it turns out it wasn't a great idea because guess what happened? Rory blew up the turbo and now...
The car is...
and just covered in oil
Pipes burst.
and we're stuck here. Is that oil?
Yes, we're worried that is oil.
Ah!
Yeah, it's soaked, isn't it?
Yeah, well done Rory. Gee, Rory, how did that happen?
Exactly. I don't quite know. I'll tell you how it happened. You were trying to race a Lambo. But it's a GLC 63. It should keep up, no?
Apparently not. Yeah.
It did just kind of go bang, didn't it?
Ah, so what now?
roadside beers
Good idea.
Good idea, I think beers might actually fix the car.
-
Beers usually fix everything, right? I think that car.
definitely needs a beer.
Let's go get the car a beer. Good idea.
So we're getting beers? While we wait to be recovered?
Get a King Brown. Superbock. Nice. Excellent.
I've never remembered doing shots of beer.
Excuse me, do you have pint glasses?
No?
Oh.
Shit. - Well, it looks like we're doing shots of beer. - Looks like we're down in lots of shots of beer. Nice.
*music* Justin you've been singing to me for three hours why? I want to take this van to have a relaxing time. *music* Stop singing country music why did I give you control of the wifi? I'm the DJ.
DJ Cowboy!
I'm going to go.
Yeah, turn straight to Portugal, real Portugal. This is just like Nice. Where was it? Can, this is just like Can. Literally Can 2.0.
Can 0.5
out that whole time come on Marcel the fuck black people we can't put that bar take confidential though all right I just don't want to blow the car up oh no I've already got a warning right now
Yeah, man, fuck off.
- I'm going.
I'm sorry.
Sterling? Yes? What's happening? Well we've just finished our...
But... it's... what? We're not... what's happening? She's going on a truck now? Oh the car that you blew up is going on a truck now. Ah! So it's not drivable ever again? Apparently not. Shit! Apparently everything you touch turns to shit.
This kind of explains your, uh, your feel for it.
*Muchas and a little bit of a drink*
*Mario plays*
I love the problem of ice. That's all I need. Also future remote. Of course. Who? Tristel. Tristel's never been at drinking. Never. I've always outdrank you since we were kids. I've been hanging out with my son. Since we were kids. I came out the womb, had the bray goose, the blenches on and I was going crazy. What was you doing? Come on me to record. I was out there, come out, break you, I was bowling.
You call out Disney. That's right. Alright. Dustin, you're here tonight. Marcel, tomorrow...
Why does Marcel do this to himself? I'll drink everyone. Tomorrow is...
boring
- One bottle of water. - Me and Boris, I'll drink Evian.
Boris? He and Boris! Boris, why are you talking shit? He was in the car and he was like, fuck me.
Bitches.
Oh, bro. Boris, I'll take you out. I didn't know you were stupid behind my back like that, Boris. It's probably recorded. So you'll take a jump, and I'll take Tristan. Yeah, but the size, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, you know, we are closer in size.
That's true. That's true. What, you did 16?
I'm 6'1". Yeah. It's close enough. This is fucking horrible. We're gonna kill Marcel. He deserves it. Marcel does this every single time I see it.
- Sir,
Can I get another double vodka water?
And this factor will take one too.
No, double Red Bull.
No, it's fine. I got more. Yeah. And Sterling wants a Buena Colada.
No.
Yeah, double vodka, same thing. Yep.
What is it happening with you?
Just get warmed up.
Tristan, don't worry. Thank you.
Now it's fucking. Neehaw, been drinking all day in the van. Okay. Drinking this fucking beer with tequila. Big. Don't give a fuck. Tequila beer. More booze. You'll take it out.
Marceau, you are a fuck.
What? Why?
I'm talking English! I'm not all English! Do you guys like up while hanging out? Yeah, I'm talking about it. That's a classic one. That's a classic one. That's a classic one. Obviously that's nothing. Obviously it's not a foreign one. No, it's not a foreign one. So he picked me up and he was like, "Oh, you're going to the gym and he picked your shit up." Yeah. I'm not doing a friend for a thing. You can't do that. It's going to be like, "I'm more than just a kid."
- You know what, Trippin? - It's actually a big thing. - How big, Portugal, so much? - It's not. - Now I know, actually, I think Portugal won't. - Yeah, yeah. - Tony, are you having a laugh?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I'm not having a laugh. - Really? - I'm having a drink. - I can't just...
Frank's the last supporter bro. Don't let him do that bro! Shut up! Boris! Show him! Boris, clap him bro!
Show him! Show him bro! Show him Boris!
That is snuffy! I don't like it. I don't like it. I like some vodka!
- No, no, no.
- Easy. - Marcel, you're doing well. I've got to say it. You got me off the ropes, Marcel.
I lost that butt too. I lost that butt.
- Who wants to smile? - He's not over-jastic! - I'm not over-jastic! I'm straight!
Why have you got red ball in it, man?
No, just now I'm watching the other end of the team.
This is ridiculous.
This makes me hurt so hard. My style is not finished. I'm just not down though.
No, it's the bubbles in it. Don't look at me, bro. Look at all this side and shit. Stop it.
Wait, can I refill? How does it make it go?
Refilio!
I'm pretty sure I'm 10 beers ahead of you that's right faggot yeah do you have evidence I actually do
hanging in the same clothes that appeared around the crowd.
Thank you, me and Boris are exactly the same place. You're nice as a girl. Thank you very much. Why are you necking my face? I'm good, man. That's what you just did. Shh. I just did it. You guys brought Tristan into it. Look, Tristan is my tag team partner. I know. This fucking retard brought Boris into it. Which is a shitty partner. I know, but when you ask why you're necking giant body cuts,
Combined weight. I'm 230. He's 245. 135. Boris is 160. We're gonna pound them 10
Me and Tristan are 20 beers ahead of him. Boris can't be only 160. No way. And they're both pussies. They're both pussies. Yeehaw.
-
So, Sterling will join me for a beer. You know why, Justin? Because Sterling's my real friend. Of course I will, Tristan. I wouldn't dare let you down like that. I don't know there's such a thing as "Oh, I had so much beer yesterday, I can't have a beer today."