Transcript
Marceau, you don't want 100 rounds. Bro, can you beat me? The disrespect of what you're saying.
*Dramatic music*
CONCENTENT RETENITION!
So, Sterling will join me for a beer. You know why, Justin? Because Sterling's my real friend. Of course I will, Tristan. I wouldn't dare let you down like that. I don't know there's such thing as, "Oh, I had so much beer yesterday, I can't have a beer today." It just... Who gets hung over on beer? He does his shit every time. Beer is non-alcoholic, basically. He does his shit every fucking time.
Yeah. The first thing he does is he tries to attack my pride. Oh, you're being a pussy, blah, blah, blah. You're not going to dream. No, I know I do that as a joke sometimes, but you are actually being a pussy. Okay. The second thing he does, the second thing he does, he attacks my heart.
But Sterling, you don't want to drink beers with Tristan. Sterling does. I'm fine with beers. Sterling's like me. We don't really. Sterling's like me. We could drink beer all day. When I go to the hotel, then I see me from 1% drunk. I could drink beer all day. You were very happy and jolly.
Desperado.
Yeah. Like, if the beer isn't, like, drinking, like, hard liquor. Yeah. And I ate it. Then I'd be on your side. Fuck off. That wasn't just normal beer. You had a fucking tequila in it. So?
with tequila. It was tequila beer. He did get you. He did get you. Those were Hunger Day beers. I gotta go. I didn't see the little flower on there. I didn't know that we don't do this in America. Oh, you want a beer? Psych, it's a mixed drink. Fuck you.
Rory blowing up the turbo. Yeah, it's Rory's fault. He's the reason I'm here. He is the reason I'm here as well. Yeah. Then we're going to drink beer.
They're on their little luxury bus. Oh, the bus is so nice. This is an endurance event. You drink all night. You drive all day.
music no sleep that's what this is about this isn't about comfort it's all about easy i'm out here on the streets i'm suffering i'm building character i'm out all night getting the fucking gt3 racing as fast as humanly possible losing my licenses getting arrested i'm the only one who's doing it the rest of them have just copped out for luxury and comfort they don't understand what
Last man standing, bro. Last man standing.
Why are you glad the cars break up? Because it's an adventure. It's an adventure. I like that everything's destroyed and broken. I like that I have to be here. I feel like you like being in the Metaverse. I can be in the Metaverse here. While I'm passenger in the cars. I'm Metaverse the whole time. I hope you like drinking. Now I can get my laptop out and go super Metaverse. You can't be in the Metaverse when you go to beer in hand. That is true.
I don't want a beer, man. How about beer in each hand? I don't want a beer in each hand. Oh, a double fisting. Oh, a double fisting. Yeah. Love a good double fisting. Am I going to end up drinking beer? Yes. The camera's on me now. Yes, you have to drink beer. Yeah. Luke, what did you think was going to happen in this van? What did you think we were going to do? Sleep? No, I thought I was going to metaverse, and we were going to, I don't know. Get on our phones. Yeah, get on our phones, you know. Go into the metaverse. Go into the metaverse. Dream it. Go deep in. Metaverse. Booze time. No, not booze time.
No, yeah, 10 a.m. It's 30. Look, you can't go weak on me, bro. You can't just, like, get weak. So you're going to drink beer, too? No. What I'm saying is you've got to stay strong. No, no, no, no. I don't want to hear this thing. And look, Justin, we have to stick together on this. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That is the beer side of the van. Yes. This is the no beer side. The men's side. The men's side. The hemisphere of no beer. The side with a penis. No, no, no. It's this side. No. Understood. Now, by the way, I just want to say that now, congratulations to you both. You're now no longer poor.
people and you've now been upgraded well um great cars is for poor people yeah and you're now no longer poor it is yesterday you were both poor yeah why now you're now you're now we're in luxury i agree this is luxury isn't it driving cars is for congratulations i might have to give it you know what it's not just because i'm on this side now it's not just because i'm now in this well you're on the gay side yeah i'm on the gay side i'm on the no beer side yeah aka the gay side yeah
Without trying to sound gay. I'm on the side of my baby. I'm not talking to you. Just a bit that sounds gay. A bit that's the same as saying, I'm sitting on the side that sucks cocks. It's basically the same thing, isn't it?
Bye.
you
Thank you.
Andrew where are we?
I'm going to go.
Where are we? Don't glance, where are we? Why are we by the ocean?
We were just in Porto and now I blinked and we're by the ocean. There's kind of bad men in that.
Why are you Jamaican now? No ramp with me, you know. No ramp with me, you know.
I think I'm going to have to kill Marcel. He's rubbing off on Andrew. Far too much. No, dude, we're not. It's 10.40 in the morning. And you already want to drink it. I'm not listening to this. Sterling, you don't know my cousin then, if you thought that's rare. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I am not your cousin. You are Andrew's cousin first. You don't know Andrew's brother. You know what? Turn up Slim Dusty.
40 p.m. in Australia right now. I can drink.
Bang on the TV. Shout the petrol station. Luke, this is the most homosexual fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Dude, we just did this like six hours ago. We were drinking. Welcome to my life.
Tristan, I love to have a beer with Tim. Drink it.
so
so
Can't play this song
There's a wall that doesn't allow beer past this well, I hope the world sample
So I was wondering why you guys took so long
We found a cafe around the corner.
Nice cold-culled books.
And you guys didn't get any coffees, did you?
We got these things.
I know, the bullshit energy poisons. Energy poison. There's a cold one in the-- There's cold coffee here. There's a cooler.
Say that again. A coffee?
Does anybody want a handle right?
Do you want a coffee?
yeah if you do thank you so much no i don't no thanks justin
Bro, please, I'd super appreciate that. Alright, can you help me load up the cooler?
Okay.
That's Tristan. Crackers.
That's your guy's side. It can't go across our side. What are you talking about? The beers.
Oh, the queers can't come to our side. Thank you so much, dude. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Really appreciate it. Everything else is perfect. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, do you have room for any of our bags up in the line? Oh, shit.
This bag has to stay here because it's got the smokes in it. Mine can stay on my lap. But if you have room, it'd be better. Yeah, good luck. Oh, thank you, bro. No energy drinks in my fridge.
*thud*
It's your energy drink. It's his energy drinks, and he's just burdened me with an energy drink that I specifically said was poison. So you can spill it with beers. No, the energy drink's going in here. Alright, what's going on the, what's going on in the beer bag, then?
Shh.
Andrew what's that? That's the car that you blew up. You blew the turbo. How does that happen? By being a fucking, being an Irish excited piece of shit. That's how. Alright, guilty I was excited and I am Irish and sometimes, actually no I'm a piece of shit. I do want to mention that the wall is real.
I can't understand how you don't want a cold beer. That's... You know what? The thing is, there's going to be some takeoff and introverts who are saying, Oh, it's just a beer, Luke. Why don't you like beer? Yeah, it's nice and hot and sunny outside. We're in Portugal. Yeah, but also, they don't know. They don't know what a beer is. What do you mean? They don't know what drinking beer is. They've never drank beer in their life. They think they have. Oh, yeah, I've had a beer before. Oh, yeah, I've had beers with my mates.
understand what drinking a beer is Sterling I'm not sure if you fully understand we've gotten yourself into I think me and Sterling are beer buddies I know I know you do and that's why we're on this side of the wall you see that's why we have the great divide yeah it's literally the great divide is why we have it separate separates the men from the boys no Sterling you
I thought I'd befriend the monster. No, I know you think you can, but that's how he gets you. That's why he's such a deadling. I believe he's Australian. I think he could sit and drink beer. I've seen Sterling drink beer all night. You've seen me drink beer all night. It's a Sterling thing to do. I'm glad this happened. Just drink every beer that's in here. Okay. Or when it comes time to come down the room tonight, we have to go to dinner and see how he feels. Drink him under the fucking table. I'm not trying to drink him under the table. I'm trying to have a beer with my friend.
with your friend bro? A beer with your fucking friend. One beer. One of my friends. One of two beers.
There's more. There's more as well. There's more as well. I had a beer yesterday. Ten fucking times with tequila in it. Let me explain why there's so many. Because I thought I had more than just one friend.
You don't. I thought I was sitting here with a group of friends and I bought enough for everybody. It turns out
one friend, but now me and him definitely have enough beers. Well, here's to it. It's a friendship, Sterling.
Yo, guys, let's jump Marcel. He doesn't know he's here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- We're gonna blow up his ass.
Thank you.
*laughing*
-
all right so i've offered all my friends a cigar because luke if there's one thing about me you
don't i yeah so all my friends i've offered all my friends a cigar so sterling has a smaller
i don't even want a cigar no thanks tristan no no yeah luke the offer is not open to you i know but i don't want one you're andrew's cousin yeah andrew's cousin doesn't offer cigars all of my friends now have cigars in their hands
honorable to pull a dick move. You're such a good friend. You need two.
Me and Justin don't care. We don't even want cigars. I hear cigars are for homos. Yeah, you know, they like to smoke cylinders. Yeah. Put cylinders in their mouths. And you know what, Justin? I was kind of skeptical about the cigars are for homos thing, but I'm starting to
think maybe they are. Justin, you smoked two fat cigars yesterday, so start calling back when we were friends.
Hey Boris. What's up, brother? So you're off boozing? No, man. It never ends. It never ends, does it? Welcome to my life. You know, I like when you guys are around. I feel good.
No, but all the Tay Confidential people, they think it's a joke. They don't get it. It never, never, ever ends. They don't realize. 12:00 PM today we started? Yeah. Why? And now we're here at the beach and it's still going. Why though? Why do we start? I don't know.
I don't know.
Boris thinks we should stop boozing so much.
What's his reason? Because it's non-stop all the time. We've been doing it since...
12.
Winners never win and winners never quit.
- But that doesn't apply to boozy. - Doesn't it? - But what do we win?
- It's the mental fortitude. You can't give up 'cause then you're a quitter. You go to the end. - So alcoholics are the best. - Alcoholics are the best people on the planet. If they're alcoholics who also get up and function, like us, then you're the best. - That is true. And if they do it not liking it, but they still never quit.
Hard, strong.
So all our fans should booze all the time.
Especially if they dislike it.
Exactly.
Mental fortitude.
All right, Marcel. So you inspired me the other night when you were being the hype man and coach to Boris. And Boris almost beat me. So I know you're going to fight Andrew soon. I'm just saying I'm your coach and I'm your hype man. I think you have the same odds that Boris had of beating me at Moose.
Now you've got like a 48% chance. It's 52 the other way.
Nah. Can I just be honest? The reach alone that I have compared to Andrew is so ridiculous. Yeah, you'll beat him. He's gonna be... Yeah. Jab. Jab. You'll move left. You'll move right. He'll be trying to hit you in the middle. Like always. Jab. Jab. T, if you're really gonna be a hype man, a proper hype man, you'd say they should do 48 rounds.
just to really beat them longer. 100 rounds.
What's up can't be his own nightmare?
Or so you don't want a hundred rounds Bro, can you beat me? Yes. The disrespect of... Ooooooh! A few moments later... Oh, I don't back down for one thing. I absolutely can't. Now you know what though, Justin, to be fair, to be fair, for everyone watching, Marcel's got a point. Because Guinness is one of those weird things, isn't it, Roy? Where like your stomach gets really full, then your drink gets fucking wet. And it's delicious. You know what I mean, Roy?
- So, it goes down really well. - Yeah, so Marcel, you gotta drink in it slow, 'cause my stomach hurts too, you know?
- I love you. - I love you.
You almost had it, Rory. That was close. Woo!
Finally, the time has come to you too. How does it feel?
How do you win?