Transcript
So he got us. He's put his lights on now. We've been got. They got us. They got us. We almost made it.
So the French once again hate us. Every year, the French hate the cannon run. Every single year. It's English hoodlums. It is, it's just English hoodlums, bro.
Tristan, what's going on? I've got a flat fucking tire.
How? And I've got no fucking phone signal. I'm in the middle of a press conference sign. Hold on.
*laughs*
Oh
Yeah.
Yeah that's pretty flat.
- Thank you.
So what are we gonna do?
Because we haven't even taken the same route as everyone else.
I'm going to go.
There's no spare
There won't be a spare. I'll check in a second, but there won't be a spare.
Shit.
Thank you.
Surely Bentley have a spare fucking time.
I forgot to film the Frenchman. The undercover cop. He's pissed at someone bro. I think he's going for someone. Ah, maybe they're getting everyone at the front. Because everyone looks out in their cars. Really? Up ahead, yeah. Up far ahead they look out in their cars. I'm going to film this without a lot. Hilarious.
I see people out in their cars.
okay what happened to them they can't get us all they got us all!
it's that undercover french car, you see that one coming? they didn't use undercovers last time. the french are up in their game to attack the english and i just saw that lambo take a lap. i'm confident andrew will also, we're not gonna go into the killing field.
No way. No way. No way. Bro. Very possible. Someone hit a pedestrian or something. Could happen. That could happen, bro. That's not out in the realms of possibility. Imagine. Bro. Bro. The French would fucking hate us. Maybe they hit a police officer. Bro.
Hi Tristan
Oh...
So we have a red space-saving tire. Looks that way.
That's clearly smaller than all the other wheels. Yeah. They've put custom wheels on here that are bigger. That one's smaller. This is going to fuck up the steering.
That's clearly smaller than the wheels I got.
You've got to pop it up.
Bye.
to the South of the States.
it would be funny if a car hit us better and crashed another one bites the dust i think you did get through bro i don't think they care i think we're through now but i'm telling you this is how it starts so that's the first bit where they show force and then they look at who humbles
doesn't over somewhere in the and it's not going to be the immediate future because they actually are quite good at knowing which are the only roads out yeah so it's going to be some although maybe last time we were in such a village this might be big enough there's too many off ramps that we could possibly take we'll see i think the french have set up a trap but we will see
Yeah, this car's faster. This car's faster, Boris. Woo -hoo! This car's faster.
So that's Frankenstein. It's twin -turbo Dementinor. Yeah. Rappin. Miles, miles, miles.
No, it's not going to make it.
So let me get this straight, Roy. What's this in the back?
What's that?
Right there. That's fuel. That's a can of petrol. Why do we have a can of petrol in the car?
Because on the first day, Andrew broke down. So, no, he didn't break down. He ran out of petrol. Bro, you know you're smoking, yeah?
That's petrol, bro.
This can't be normal.
I don't think they'll let you smoke. I'm mad at all. I'm ready for the boom. I don't give a fuck. Well, yeah.
Which is all Andrew's fault for being a dumbass, yeah?
And why do we have this?
- 'Cause we got it from the petrol garage to go and save Andrew. - Yeah, to go save Andrew. 'Cause he went out of gas 'cause he's stupid, yeah?
Now,
We have a flat tire.
And those cunts just drove straight past us. Yeah. Didn't even beep or wave. They saw us. There's no way you don't see a big Bentley by the side of the road. Yeah. They literally just drove past and left us here.
So when Andrew runs out of fucking gas, it's all hands on deck. Everyone's scrambling around to the gas stations. Let's go pick up gas for Andrew. Let's go save him.
We have a flat tire, which is not our fault. It's not being thick.
Like running out of gas.
And they just leave us here. They just drive past us.
I think it's Luke's fault Might be Luke's fault Yeah Luke punctured our tyre I think Luke did this this morning He knew what was going to happen That's why Andrew drove past Yeah, sounds about right Luke planned this
Okay.
Fuck it, I need to straighten it with Luke Since the beginning of my relationship with Luke He's been plotting my downfall And this may be just another cog in his masterful plan
Luke's on a sabotage mission.
Fuck Luke.
Yeah.
Those cunts, Tristan and who else? Rory. The guys we don't like. What can we do? No, their car broke down. I haven't got a spare tire on me. I know. I know we don't. We don't even have a spare room.
Maybe they can fit in the boot.
Right on top. The engine.
Exactly, bro. I don't like them anyway. I hope they're stuck in France forever. You know how good of a curse that'd be. That'd be the worst curse. All the making fun of France.
as shit. France is your new home.
I'll tell you. How do you like your new home Tristan? I know. Tristan how is it? France doesn't like it. France really wants people to stay in France. Trying to get us under the bridge. They can't keep them there voluntarily. They can't. They have to try other ways.
Excellent.
Tristan
Excellent.
Some more
There's a sign.
*Loud noise*
That's a good sign.
I'm not talking to you. What do you mean?
Okay.
What's wrong? I'm not talking to you. We're having fun.
I'm not having fun with you
So you're bored though? Are you bored though? I don't like you. Are you bored though?
Bordo? Are you bored though?
- No, no, no.
We're near Bordeaux in France, for anyone who doesn't get the joke.
That's where we are.
But are you bored though?
Get out of the car. I might kick you out of the car.
So Me boys have the police on us. We have a tail. We have a tail Morris. I
Don't know what they're doing though. It's been like this for a good 20 minutes.
I
Think they're waiting for us to get bored and just say fuck it. Let's go. They're not gonna catch me
shall I just go? No.
We've got 10 minutes to the Spanish border. Shall we just go now? No, because the French will stop us at the border, maybe. What are you going to do? Get a helicopter out? No, but we shouldn't run away. I think he's waiting for us to get bored and have these thoughts. That's his French plan. The French trap.
It's annoying, man. It is annoying, but that's what he's trying to do. He's trying to annoy you. That's his plan. Otherwise, he would have pulled you over already.
- There's no reason to pull us over. - Yeah. - We're just in a Lambo. - What, oh, it's illegal to be in a Lambo now. - Yeah, probably, sir. - He couldn't see our front plate. He couldn't even see it. He doesn't know we don't have one. He doesn't know. He can't know. He hasn't passed us. - Yeah, exactly. - So, it's a waiting game. Us against the Frenchman. Who has the patience?
- We'll see. - So he got us. He's put his lights on now.
got. They got us. They got us. We almost made it. We almost made it to the end. We could not come off.
Ah, have to come off. I've played these games with the French before. Have to come off here. Because this is a clear, what it would be is, you know, the cannon run guy behind him. That guy shouldn't come off, but he did. That was dumb of him. The cannon
guy I don't think should have came off.
Oh, is this not a rest stop? Yeah, it is.
This is also where he's going to try and get us for speeding as well, because I don't know the speed limits on these small roads. I don't either. It's the left, I think. It's there.
Yeah, it's here.
So the Frenchman's angry. Angry Frenchman. I'm sorry, Boris. I'm sorry for my people. Because they can't get any women. No, they're cunts. They're women are ugly. Yeah, they're cunts. They're cunts, Boris. I'll admit it. I'll admit that they're cunts. They're cunts and they're after us.
He actually looks angry as a person.
Hey!
so
I believe Boris is okay.
I believe we're actually fine.
And he was actually quite chill, I believe. I think he gave us a fine, but fines aren't real.
Where's Tristan? Where's Rory? Tristan fucked up.
- How? - Because his car broke down, but he didn't realize that Mr. Goon was the only reason that the car was functioning in the first place, 'cause Mr. Goon never fails. - Just get the ticket without the hat. - I don't know, I'm Luke, I might fail the task. But I know one man who won't.
- Listen, Mr. Goon. - Tristan, what do you need? - I need Mr. Goon.
- Mr. Goon!
Mr. Goon's on the case. Mr. Goon has never failed. Mr. Goon and Rory are out of the race. Yeah, they're out the race. They're out the race.
So if my poor brother is stranded by the side of the road I guess I should go back Nah Food He shouldn't have left Mr. Goon
Mr. Goon never fails. Listen, I know Tristan very well. And the universe knows that he deserves what's happening to him. He does. He fucking deserves it.
Thank you.
He does deserve it, doesn't he?
I hope he's still there now.
blistering hands.
Yeah, that'd be good as well. Hope it starts raining.
Teach him a lesson.
The final French goodbye.
So we ended up going on the bus.
How's your day T? Have a good day. You enjoying yourself? Always.
*BOOM*
It's the eggs, isn't it?