Transcript
What are we doing?
Take off on the just back.
That's fucking fast
- I think we went fast.
*Dramatic music*
*Maniacal music* *Bell rings* You think your life's okay, and then the V12 comes in. *Maniacal music* And you're just like, "Well that's so loud, I just- you're broke, shut up!" Yeah, you're broke! Shut up! Shh! No one cares, it's loud, you're broke! You know, they're probably so broke because they keep complaining. Too busy complaining to get rich!
Get rich, you're gonna go worry about it. I go worry about no car flexing on me with sound. I'm on the V12 6.5 right here. I'm ready. I stay strapped. Call to excuses from these people. Broke.
So Tristan says that his room's the best.
*knocking*
I don't believe it.
So is this the magic room? It's the loser from the loser room. What do you mean loser room?
Okay. Okay. Okay. This is quite big. This is a champion's room. This might be a champion's room. I even have a loser's room.
Can you admit it? Alright, Tristan, this is cool. This is very nice.
- We will lose him. - Citrus, how many rooms of these do we have? Why don't I have one?
Mrs. President's just moved in. They only have one. What do you mean, only have one? It's for me. They have gravy for me. Because I have the mackerel outside.
And you turn up in a Ferrari. Ah, a bed.
Bet you wish you could sleep on it, don't you?
Mm-hmm. So you just gotta put...
You're not allowed in the- Wait, what's this? What's that second door? I think it's for soundproofing.
Anyway.
Thank you.
- Do I have a kitchen? - You don't have a kitchen. What do you mean kitchen? Ha, so you cook like a peasant.
No, it's not a kitchen for cooking. It's a kitchen for mini bar drinking.
And you're jealous. - Don't even know where your minibar is. See, they-- - I don't know where the minibar is. Do you know where it is? - So they-- ah!
They have loads of shit here.
- So you admit it.
- Ah. - Another exit. - Another exit. So hidden exit, so you exit as well. - So you admit you're-
This is very cool, Tristan.
This is very, very cool. I will admit that my, if you looked at these two rooms and you said, who's a winner and who's a loser, I might have to concede that purely based off the rooms.
You would assume...
that the other person's a loser. - So you're a loser.
Thank you.
So admit that you didn't get upgraded. It'd be a false assumption. It would not be a false assumption. It would. This is a super loser room. It's the real story. It's not. It's the real deal.
It's the truth.
So I live in the winner's room.
and you live in the world.
That's just the way it is now.
I think they just wanted to uplift your spirits because they knew you were a loser.
I think
You know, just like give him a chance.
the window and-
But that would teach you a bit. That teach them a certain- certainly teach them a lesson. Upgrading me. Yeah. Oh, we upgraded him, the Chiron driver.
Oh, and then his cousin...
Because we upgraded him. I mean, I'm down. I won't mind that much. Wine? No, no wine. Why not? Free wine. So my room's down there. Yes. Near that area. Yeah, loser level.
you
peasant level this is very cool this is a very nice view as well
It's my view. You have to close your eyes. Stop taking my view. So what if I steal all your view? You can't steal it.
i can record it forever make this an nft put this on the blockchain
Are you on a ball? Yeah, they're bouncing off of buildings from the sun into my eyes.
From the sun that's local and not that far away because the earth is flat. The earth's not flat. It is.
Tristan keeps calling me a globetard. He's a globetard. He keeps- he keeps- he believes the Earth is round. He keeps repeating it, that I'm a globetard. Earth is flat. He's been telling me this for months now. How does this water stuck to the side of a ball?
Because of gravity. Even a basketball. Gravity. Water on the side wouldn't do this. Tristan, Tristan, it doesn't have enough gravitational force to basketball, but the Earth does. Gravity is a theory.
It's not a theory. That's flat.
Just a minute. Look how flat that water is.
Is it not called the law of gravitation? Is it not a law yet? I feel like it might be a law.
But this is very cool, Tristan. I will- I know what the law says. Get out of my room and park all the plates.
So you're going to put your cousin out into the cold. Yeah, absolutely. Out into the cold, harsh reality of the world. Get out of my room.
You're not allowed in my room. The cold, harsh reality.
Sorry, winners are around.
Back out to your loser floor.
See this? This is stupid.
Do not disturb. See you later.
You can't act-
What are we doing? We're sitting with UFC fighters and war members on a boat.
Frog. The captain.
What are you doing? Is this what we do?
I'm not the captain.
Is it inconvenient that we all have booze except for... Oh, you drunk it all? No. You spilled your booze. You spilled your booze. And you expect us to believe it was an accident?
Tristan told me to move. I moved and accidentally kicked over my boots. No one believes you, Luke. Haha, trying to capsize the ship.
Nice, Tristan.
Mr. Capsize. Capsize the boat. There we go. Balance. Balance is restored. Who bought that as
or violence.
Biggest man in the world. Biggest man in the world restored to the balance.
What do you want?
obviously.
- No, 110, 244 pounds. - See, it was an accident.
Could happen to anyone. That was empty.
Could happen to anyone. It's still real, Boots.
Could happen to anyone. - That's right.
No, no, I don't need battle of the Luke's on the president.
It's a whole fight. Don't worry Luke, just work the body. Nah, I just don't want to be in the group.
I live. I leave. I'm leaving. I just don't want to be part anymore. To be fair, I can't swim. Luke, you got my place.
- 56 days, five.
- Top G! - So Andrew's super famous. - Top G, top striker.
Mr. Producer!
Our boat's better. Our boat is better. What the electric?
- I like emissions. Emissions make things better. Keep the world turning, you know? Good old emissions. But old fashioned kind of guy. Yeah.
- How many Tesla's could you buy for the price of a Bugay? - True. - 45?
- So Tristan, what are we getting?
- Sterling and Aaron and Tig troll me even when they're not around. There's no reason for this. - What do you mean troll? What do you mean? No, because we like pina coladas. - No, you don't. No one likes them. - I love pina coladas. - I'm going to have two. - I'm having two. Tristan, when do I ever drink?
All right. He let Kalada contest.
- Three new.
See who blinks first.
Wanna ride to the challenge? Wanna be a man? Let's go.
So we have all these pina coladas.
This is...
Cheers.
I would actually bet that in terms of how tough the group is. Keep talking.
. They were drinking, didn't we? Yes, shake that B.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm not always someone who turns into Jennifer. That's Andrew, too.
Focus. What do you guys know? So, Tristan. Tristan, the Lukes at this table are at four. What do you mean? Four drinks, done. Oh, so you... Because I was talking. And I've decided... If you're challenging me, Luke, this isn't a challenge. The Lukes are done. We're at four. I believe Tristan's at two. Luke, my friend. The Lukes are beating the tights. That's all I know. Luke, you don't want to team up with him.
I mean, the ten more, please. There you go. Thank you. You need your camera out faster if you're going to catch me. Yeah, okay. So Tristan's caught up to the Lukes now.
Now, you're not one person.
What do you mean? If you have the same name, you can't claim the same drinks. What do you mean? Ah, I felt that one. I felt that one, Luke. Yeah, I felt that one. Well, I'm beating you anyway.
We're at five now.
- That's true.
You can't claim the same dream. Aw, man. Six deep. Going for number seven. Going for number seven.
It's gonna end badly. You don't want this.
ah seven seven's rough wait no no this is eight this is eight now
The booze attack, yeah. I'm finished already. I've got no more booze left.
I'm not even hungry.
Hey, this is probably my best booze I've ever done, Tristan.
- I'm not.
There's only one of three reasons you're poor. You're either lazy or arrogant or you're stupid.
Now when I say poor, what I basically mean is less money than me.
Because I take Lord of Earth, set the bar.
I set the difference between rich and poor. My amount of money is the amount of money you need to be rich. If you have less money than me, even by a single cent, you're a fucking brokey, a wagey, a peon, a peasant, a nobody. You are poor.
So when I sit here and make this video and call you poor, you can't sit here and go, "I'm actually not poor, I'm doing pretty good with my business actually, and I have a nice car that I..." YOU HAVE LESS THAN ME!
I'm the only guy on this fucking platform flying around in private jets with 27 cars, living this lifestyle in presidential suites and fucking fairy tale land. Only me. The rest of you are sitting there going, hey, I might be able to buy a BMW. You're fucking broke.
You're all broke.
So once you identify and accept that you are broke because you're not on my level, then we must work out why. And there's only one of three reasons that anyone on this planet would ever be poor. You're either lazy, you're arrogant, or you're stupid. Now, we'll start with lazy. Most of you are lazy. In fact, I'd say basically all of you are lazy. You don't understand what work is. You don't understand what work ethic is. You don't understand the ethos of conquer earth. You don't have fireblood. You don't wake up to go piss at 3:32 AM and go, "I'm not going back to sleep because I want to make some fucking money." So you're all lazy.
You're all arrogant because when I sit here as the richest person who's ever fucking wasted his time talking to your fucking dumb ass,
and tells you what to do, you don't fucking listen to me. Oh, well, Tate, you know, maybe he's wrong about... You're broke.
How can I be wrong when you're in the poor category and I'm in the rich category? I obviously know something you fucking don't.
You arrogant dickhead.
And the third and least common category is stupid. Most of you are not too stupid to become rich.
I could show you how to do it. All you have to stop doing is being arrogant and lazy. So if you sit here and go, "Well, I'm none of those three things." Yes, you fucking are because you're not living the life I live. You are a brokey. If you were none of those three things, you'd be here with me in this room, wouldn't you? But you're not because you are a fucking peon. So look at your bank balance, accept it's not as large as mine and accept that one of those three attributes must apply to you. Speaker 1:
Find out which one it is and fucking change it.
Good morning.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We can't just be the jet setters.
Tristan said his hotel room was better than mine, so I tried to get a prisoner to sweep, but there was only one prisoner to sweep, so I told him we have to leave instantly.
so he can't stay in there.
because he had six days booked.
What is this? Fuck him. One day, one night.
You know how much that costs per day?
It's already paid.
I'll master the seven stars of Shaolin.
That's not a cent in your pocket.
Do you have lunch today?
Thank you.
I mastered the seven challenge styles. Tristan thought he had a better hotel room than me, so I did.
Yeah, exactly. He did. Now you ain't got shit.
It's true, D.I.D. is kind of past tense, isn't it?
say we always go London, so we're going to go somewhere completely different, our favorite country,
Where's the plane going?
What do you mean?
Where's my flight going? Do you know?
Miss.
- To me.
Andrew, why are we going to France?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Thank you, friend.
Yep, sure.
We're going to France because I'm French. Is that why?
Why? Of all the places, of all the countries, why? We don't like France. I don't like France.
- We're friends. - What the fuck is wrong with you? - You guys aren't like me. Why would you want to go to a bunch of me's?
Oui. Oui, oui. He's got a good point. Oui. Oui.
This is stupid. But this is very nice.
Okay.
Thank you.
This is very nice. I'm not talking to you or you the whole flight.
I don't want to talk to you anyway.
This is quite...
It's a France. We're going to France.
Luke's dream. Yeah, I now vote we live in France. Forever. Never leave. France only.
Max France. Good cheese, good wine. Yep, two things I both dislike very much. Loads of it. Only cheese and wine. That sounds like the worst life. France, maximalism. What else do they do? Snails? Share with girlfriends. Yep, share with girlfriends. So all girlfriends shared. France, maximalism. Are you guys ready? I know you guys are English so it might be a bit hard.
I believe you guys were at war with us for like 100 years.
116. Yeah, so you know the number. So it might be hard to embrace the French maximalism, but I think we have to. Just the fuck it was. It wasn't my idea to go to France. It was yours. No, it wasn't. And whose idea was this? Luke's. It was Luke's. I didn't even know we were going to France until a few moments ago. I was fine in my hotel room. My hotel room was really nice. I had to take that from you and drop you in France. I have the best hotel room in Prague. Now you have. Now you're going to France.
Let me get in front of your mouth. Just shut up. I spent 20 grand. You did keep saying how you had the best one. It was booked. You did keep saying that. I didn't. He came to my room and said, this is the best room. No, but you also did. I have you on film. I didn't make a big fucking deal. I have you on film. Ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, every single time we were off camera, Tristan just kept saying how he had the best room in the world. And we're a bunch of losers. And he just kept trying to rub in our face. Literally, that's the type of person he is. I just want you to understand that.
- It paid for the room and it was paid for, for six more days. - Yes. - And for some reason, now we're flying to France. - Correct. - Correct. - It was the hotel this morning. - Are you leaving Mr. Scorpius? - I guess so. - But admit you deserve it. - I don't fucking deserve it. - Admit you do though. - No I don't. - Because you were bragging the entire time. - This is stupid. You're stupid, this is stupid.
Wait until you see France, French maximalism. It's not a real thing. It is.
Hello, how are you? Good, good, good.
Hello, welcome.
the life loop.
Thank you.
This is super nice.
Is this our life now? Is this what we do? We've become the jet-setters, haven't we?
We really have. To jet setting. To jet setting. Ah, Tristan does have one.
God, I'm strained. Fucking lose. Look, none. I haven't even got one. They gave an empty glass.
like a dickhead. No hotel, no juice.
They got you.
Nothing new.
*Dramatic music*
*door opens*
Hmm.