Transcript
It was at this moment that he knew, he fucked up.
And then can I also have 20 bottles of sparkling water?
- Big ones. - The big ones.
Bye.
- Yes, 20, two, zero.
bottles of sparkling water.
elite level hydration.
Sorry?
Yes, the big bottles, 20 to zero of them.
Cole.
Yes, the large, large sparkling waters and cold, please.
And ice, please. And lemons.
Bye.
Oh
And yes, that's all.
*music*
Yes, sounds perfect. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So, I didn't do this to us. I wanted the rib eyes.
I wanted one ribeye.
We need elite level hydration.
This doesn't make sense. Look.
What is the number one thing humans need to stay alive? Tristan says we're not drinking enough. We're not having enough thoughts.
They are going to drink.
All day. All day.
20... 20? Is that 20 liters? How much are these ball repeats? I think they're a liter and a half.
30 years.
Nice. What are they, one last? So 10 liters each of water.
Just stop.
As a star. What do you mean as a star?
What is this?
We're drinking all day. All day long. You can't go outside because the peasants are waiting for us.
- The secret from all along.
Simulant say, "Hey, what do you do when you're worth $100 million?" - Water contest. Elite level hydration. - Done.
- You also bought the course. - Course bought. - Perfect. - You're gonna set the course. - Now we need you to see the elite level hydration. - The loot doesn't. - The only way.
to achieve elite level high drug use.
Thank you.
*laughs* Tristan, that can't be in the course! Is that a part? This can't be a part! This must be part 8! Elite level. This actually might be elite level. This might be truly elite.
I'll drink more water than both of you. You won't.
Now you out? You out?
We'll see. We will see. The incredible champion is in the heart. Nah, I'm just gonna edit out every single time he drinks water.
Nice.
Teach them a lesson. - That's not how you win. - Could be. Take confidential, wouldn't know if I did or did not do that.
Maybe I cut this out too.
So Triss is going the barbarian tactic.
I don't think I can do barbarian. Why have you made it bubbly? You made it super hard. Yeah, it's like all bubbles. And he's doing the barbarian tactic. But I believe civilization will defeat the barbarians if I just always drink it out of a nice glass.
You guys are drinking out of the bottle. If I just drink it always out of a glass.
-
There's no way you're beating me.
Amen.
Nice and refreshing.
And I'm just gonna make sure this never, ever is empty.
like the infinite glass isn't there a legend about some infinite glass that never runs out you can't defeat me
- What is boozing day? Tristan can drink liquids so fast. - He can. - Tactics are...
- Poor.
See why I did that? That is his tactic. No, this is going to work. There's a reason cups were invented. Why would cups be invented if this is not the most ideal way to hydrate? He's using poor tactics.
You're going to have one sip.
I'm on my second bottom. You're going to talk to me.
Ah.
Bye-bye.
My mind's made of water.
Now, my brain was a dry sponge and it's now expanding. I can now see.
40.
and it's swimming inside of myself.
- Yeah.
These aren't real.
I didn't have enough blood.
and all I can do is force myself to make more. This person's seriously down one. He did, didn't he?
It amazes me, this is pure carbonated sparkling water.
Bubbles do hurt. They do. It's not beer, but body.
One down.
- Okay.
Ugh.
50 each, yeah?
Nice. I'm making progress. I don't know how much because I don't even want to know. I'm just going to keep pouring.
You drummed half of that.
Luke, you're nowhere near him.
I'm getting close
Look.
It's almost done.
And mine's been nice and pleasant. You guys look horrible. It's not almost done.
It's all in the glass. Yeah. So that's how you think it works, do you? See, now I just have to drink my nice one little glass of water.
and continue on.
Nice pleasant.
you
We're rich. Why do we do this?
Hydration.
Poor people actually couldn't do this.
This is a rich person only activity. It's like four euros each. Yeah, probably.
So the water has been given up on? Not really.
What do you mean not really? You're just eating things now. What for melon?
I'm just eating instead of drinking again.
beating up the process.
I knew both
*sniff*
Nope.
Where's my class? We are drinking- You're on the same fucking class!
Never ending.
embarrassment. For all you know, I'm down 20 giant bottles.
But it's all just gone through this glass.
*knock*
Run for that at the menu.
Luke, I'd like you to know
If you're on fire
And all it would take
It's my piss to extinguish you.
I would still take a long walk in the cold in the middle of the night.
to the toilet and piss in the toilet.
But they did it.
If you caught on fire right here, right now,
I would drink each and every one of these bottles of sandwich. I'm like, really bad. Each and every one. I would drink all of them. Slowly.
Teach you a lesson about dedication to the gods.
Nice little glass.
What are we doing?
We used to sit around Yeah, watermelon mess
- All right.
You guys keep calling me Globetard, so it seems like it. The Earth is flat, look. I follow all the flat Earth paint.
Yeah, so, okay.
I mean, it's not flat. You're a globetard. You're globetard. You think this isn't flat.
It's not. It's the world round. Yes, it's a globe.
Globe card.
Thank you.
Alright, so how's it flat then? Prove to me it's flat Look how it slides it
I see the curve I do I see the curve
Tell them more proof.
Roof, did you know
that not once in the history of space travel ever has any astronaut panned his camera around
Not what?
Why don't they?
What do you mean?
Full face, full manipulative images. You're a globetard.
Your name should be Luke the Duke.
But it said your name is Leek.
The Geek.
I'm gonna start calling him Lurd.
- -
lork lork the globe this is stupid i'm not a globe tarp you have a space suit you can go up there and see it's flat but you ain't fucking got one it's not that's why you're lork the globe so is space fake is there even space
You're Lork. So you can't drink your water. So it's a dome? Space is CGI, yeah. It's a solid dome. I'm gonna drink so much water than that.
was not laughed
I'll drink all the water on the earth.
Then what?
Then you could be thirsty.
What kind of name is Lorne?
That's not my name.
It's on my name.
Can everyone who wants to take confidential please spam Lorc's inbox, calling him Lorc.
I don't have an inbox.
Yeah, he does on Instagram. It's real lucky Lord.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Tristan got slowed down by the bulb.
They got you, Tristan.
Why use them about to say?
- Wow, so you touch kids.
Literally saw it, caught red-handed.
So I go to my room and ignore you both. Did you touch that, Kate?
Can we go to the vault east of the room? Yes or no. Just admit what happened. We should go to the club.
I'm just saying we should. I want to get clear. I don't want to, but I feel morally obligated. I super don't want to. You know, I was saying this to you the other day. Why does a salmon swim on the river? It just feels like it happens to you. Why does a salmon swim on the river? It's a obligation.
Okay.
Is everybody ready? Is everybody ready? I want to see one hand up in the air.
Come on, let me see your hands.
I'm going through a door. You don't even have it to you too much. You can tell me I'm just a touch. Baby.
I'm a father. Since it is cold and empty. Nobody's around to touch me. I can't see. I should fall in love. I ain't even party. Bro, if I pay extra for the big body. I'm a cold ass nigga nigga hot tub. Bless me, get the money run. And a chain on my neck. I got chills.
*outro music*
These men are sitting on a Bugatti Sheeran Pure Sport that doesn't belong to them. Unfortunately one of the owners is European kickboxing champion, Tristan Tate.
He gon' give it to ya, ex gon' give it to ya Yeah! Oh, this kid is dangerous!
I don't think a Bugatti's ever traveled on roads like this. It's a 4x4. Andrew, this isn't a 4x4. It is a 4-wheel drive. I'm not even sure it can go over that bridge.
We're camping because we have to realign our shocker. So I took the 4x4. This isn't a 4x4. It's going to happen to the bridge. Is it going to collapse? Yeah, it might. And then we want to buy a new car. No, this is like, what, 6 million euro. No, but you can't. It's not that easy. It's like, it's all rocks and stuff.
Is it going to collapse?
Bro, there's holes. It ain't.
It's left.
No one has ever, ever, ever,
bring bugatti here ever never never in a million years this isn't a 4x4 it is we're in like the mountain villages yeah you don't bring bugatti's out in the mountain villages because even look at the mountain man looking at you being like why does he they're asking why they're asking themselves why who does this he has so much money can afford another car that's all about me
That woman wants me. She does. She probably does, to be honest. She's curious about it. She's super curious. I'd be super curious. I'm the big G. I'm the big G. And there's the mountain man. Fuck him. I'll race him right now. You know what I mean?
Okay. You would beat the mountain man in a race. I admit. How bad the road gets? This is always the best off-road vehicle. Look, just because it costs all that money doesn't mean I'm going to be like, Oh, we can't go driving on terrible terrain. That's going to ruin it.
gay. That would be gay, wouldn't it? So gay. But I definitely don't think the guy envisioned this when they were crafting the car. Probably didn't envision people smoking in it either. Or fucking driving it drunk, full of girls. Probably envisaged loads of shit that ain't gonna happen. Listen, I don't adhere to the rules of the matrix. I do things differently. This is very different. I will admit that this is very different.
Nice, going into the mountains.
Yeah, I'm racing.
Mountain racing to the mountain, man.
This is probably better. More reliable? Male Speaker: No, I think it needs to sponsor. If you go to a computer, it's harder to do that.
Albania.
Thank you.
This is nice. They have internet.
Realizing our shockers. There is no more internet, no more badmurs. No, there is. We're here to live with the nature.
I'm gonna live with the lambs.
and we're gonna stop living on the internet
booze in all the time and we're gonna do
Things for our hearts and souls. - So phones in the grass.
Bye.
Listen, that looks absolutely super uncomfortable. Do you have any body?
Like, look at your spine. It's like in a sea.
It's not supposed to do that. My spine's made of liquid mercury.
What does that mean? Does that just mean it's super dense? You ever seen the Terminator?
Okay, so you're the Terminator.
This looks extremely uncomfortable. Are you comfortable? My spine is made of solid rubber.
I thought you said it was liquid mercury. This is not some helpful. Check it out, bro.
It is, isn't it? So why are we here again?
Then this door
We're here to be one with nature. Guys, look at this.
your chakras.
Shut the fuck up. Tristan, all... I've got my chakras right here. Exactly. Tristan, don't you understand? We were in the club. We beat some people up. We punched them in the face. We need to realign our chakras with the nature and the universe. Are we putting that in take on financial? Yes.
Okay, fine. We beat some people up. I have to go to the club and booze in hard with a bunch of fucking whores with big tits.
And now we need to go back to base and realign with the source. That is my fucking base.
What do you mean that's your base? Why didn't you drag me here? Well, beating the shit out of people after hanging around a bunch of girls with big fake tits is not your fucking spiritual base. It's been my entire life.
But it's what I know and do best.
is my natural state of existence. That is the worst spiritual base ever. Can't be a spiritual base. It's not very spiritual. I'm pretty fucking happy. Can't you just enjoy the fucking nature? Yeah, look at the clouds. Let's count them.
*Tonk*
This is beautiful. You're going to be cold. Look how beautiful it is. Tristan, you're also going to be cold. You're both going to be cold. Because it's getting colder and colder. Sun's going down. Even I've got sweats and I thought I'd do this.
There's no way a tricycle will heat you up in a way that you make unlimited heat. Does exercise warm you up, yes or no?
but the tricycle won't help. It's got four wheels mate, that's like a tricycle.
Bicycle training wheels, dickhead.
Okay.
Okay, I don't actually know whether it's called a tricycle or not. A tricycle has three wheels. That is clearly a bicycle with training wheels. Isn't that the same thing? No.
Can you admit you're a monumental failure and there's a vehicle on earth I can't drive? Sheer on? I might have to admit that. Or this.
I might have to admit that. Emergency meeting. What do you mean there's an emergency? You can't tricycle to the emergency.
It's not even an effective... I can tell that that's way more effort than walking.
Well, Andy's just gliding here. I'm walking with my big heavy legs. Andy's just gliding along. That's not gliding at all. I see the effort.
He's slowing down so you can keep up.
I'm just walking at a normal pace. I'm not even walking fast. Now he's trying to catch up.
Okay. It's uphill now. I'll be up there. I'll be up there. I'll be up there. I'll be up there.
So tricycles are an ineffective boat of transportation. Merge me.
That's a tricycle and we all know it.
It's not an emergency.
The...
The goat.
Is that the emergency meeting alarm? Do we have a new one? Yeah, go.
That's the emergency meeting. So until we sit down, it won't... The emergency meeting is kidding me on the balcony of that cabin. I don't know what we're talking about. It is, isn't it?
I don't want to walk to the hill.
But it's clearly there. The goat's calling us. The two goats.
Go too aggressive. The emergency goats.
Are you niggas? Are you underwear of my hands? It reminded me of yesterday. They look like dumbasses as well. I'll take you out the fucking game, goat.
I actually think goats want beef. I actually think he really wants it.
the goat wants beef doesn't he but doesn't he realize that his neck being in that position such a imagine axe kick down yeah or up
A soccer kick up. He wouldn't... Hey, he heard ya.
Look at my tactics here, dude.
Alright, come on.
I love every time!