Transcript
*BOOM* What? You see what's wrong right? It's not just me I'm not going crazy. Sushi? You're sushi!
I love you.
- Are we watching our life back? - We're watching Take Confidential in a private cinema loop.
Yeah. Best show ever. Take confidential, take confidential. Matrix inside of Inception Aikido. And then one day we'll watch this episode of...
Take confidential. Watching you take confidential. While doing Aikido.
In a take of the day tour. We're starring the inception.
We're in a five-star hotel. There's a private cinema, deep underground London. All the stabbing is above us. We're down here.
And they asked us, what movie do we want to watch? And we said, the greatest movie in history.
- Wow, and they need to get as much as-- - Ah, it's Luke! - Ha ha ha! - Look at Andrew, you're probably-- - Ah, it's Burger King!
You're boring.
I'm in Romania.
You know what? I'm eating nothing but Burger King. Yeah, for COVID.
What's the matter?
is Burger King shop.
Nice. So we go to London and because we can't go on the street anymore, guys, I want to say something to take on that joke.
We are now so famous, we cannot walk the streets of London. Everyone recognizes us instantly. Yep. And like, just comes up to us in huge groups, might get stabbed, whatever. So now we have to hide.
So we're hiding Kensington's above us.
And we're hiding deep in a private cinema we've rented for a thousand pounds an hour to watch our own YouTube series. Because we're too famous to be on the street.
Tristan, do you admit this is all your fault?
- Me and I, sit down.
I might have to agree, Tristan. Is this you on the TV right now? I'll be fine.
So whose fault is it? Mine. So you're middle? Yeah.
At least he admits it.
So anyway, booze. No, we don't need more booze. So we're watching an episode where I'm trying to convince you to booze. And while you're filming, I'm trying to convince you to booze. Ah, I remember this.
Yeah!
We fucking got him!
We got it, didn't we? We fucking got you. Andrew, we got you. Admit we got you. This was a good episode. This was a good episode. We went all the way to Paris to get you. You know what? This actually shows how much our life has changed because back then we were loser peasant brokies who made about 200,000 euro a month.
Literally. And now we make about three and a half million euros. That was before I had the shoulder surgery. Look how sad my face looks. No, no. That was before we flew on private jets. Yeah. Look at you in the airport with a brokie. I know. Flying first class. First class like a brokie. Like a fucking dork.
First class. Oh, business lounge. Oh, business lounge.
Wait, is this booze? I bet you this is fucking booze.
Where's the movie? You were here.
Welcome to the real world, Lucer. Yeah, I can. All right. Play it so I can tell myself off. This is true.
I caught myself saying something stupid.
Going to France. Your country's whack. I said it's not whack, but it is. It is whack. France is very whack. It is whack. I was naive. I didn't know anything about business class. Me, be you. I was correct about booze, though. Booze is actually ass.
knows that and you know what to be honest Tristan is more French than me to be honest I was all wrong look you know what we're lucky we're lucky that we can look back at our past selves I can't admit it I admit it finally I admit it after all these years
I've always been more French. Yeah. That's history. Yeah, because... We don't film enough. I can't get my camera... Tristan just walks from his seat. There. Span in circles. No, it isn't. Like that. And then downed his drink and shook it at us. Why'd you make that up?
Why would I make that up? My imagination is not that good. It's just what happened. Wild imagination. Why are we drinking and eating popcorn? Is it Tuesday?
Some fucking brokey day. Yeah, I know it's a brokey day, isn't it?
Definitely a brokey day, but I feel like... Is it Monday?
Tristan, is it Monday or Tuesday?
Thank you.
it's not an answer so we'll forever not know
so
- What do you say, Luke?
What do you say, Luke? What is this? Why are there shots here? It's definitely you. Body!
Thank you.
Thank you.
There's definitely a...
Human mind. It's 8am in the morning. I may I could kill you with his toothpaste. You'd punch me. With toothpaste. The toothpaste has to make it any more lethal. I may I could kill you with this toothpaste.
Hold the bottle in one hand, stab you with this one. Okay, how about this? I may I can keep you with this napkin. The napkin doesn't add anything to it. I'll put it in my pocket, that would be fine.
Yeah, welcome on board. Thank you. Good news, Luke. What? You've got your favourite. Body. It's not my favourite. I had a holic booze. I don't like any booze. You don't like champagne. Maybe we should spend this whole flight all sitting as far away from each other as possible. One of us there, one of us here, one of us way back.
So we don't have to talk. So I don't want to talk to anyone. Luke can go back to the Metaverse. I could. But the Metaverse is $2,000 for 225 megabytes. What are you, 4?
That's literally unusual.
200 megabytes you can use in like 2 minutes. Yeah, literally.
We can afford to do that. Yeah, but we're all going to have a 100 grand Wi-Fi bill. Aikido. 100 grand Wi-Fi bill Aikido.
100 grand wifi, we don't like to eat it.
Fine, I'm connected to the wifi. We're playing music the whole time.
Did Tristan just make you admit it and he has none? I admit you have no cigars.
I admit your briefcase is the disruptor. No matter what, if I need one of them, they're going to be able to get the sun.
I don't think you want to give me a fucking snort. I'm in. But we have 3 genitomics. Thank you. I have 2 alabers in snort pieces. I have sushi for you. You ordered sushi, so I should. I have sushi. Would you want sushi? Yeah, sushi. Thanks. We'll have sushi and 3 genitomics. Thank you. Okay, I'm in. In the pocket. You have to pick which one you think is snort? One or less. I got the biggest clint, huh? Even if it was lamb.
I
You're right. You don't want some goggles. No. So this is what we do now. We just go on giant jets. We don't need a jet of this size.
It's like breathing. It's literally, people don't realize how big it is because they think it's just this little section.
They don't realize just how big this thing is.
Sir?
So there was cigars in both cases. Yes, and a bunch of cigars in the back. You got them. Basically all cigars.
It's my indestructible briefcase. It's not indestructible. It is.
Admit it.
Admit you don't want cigar. I admit I don't want cigar. It's your minute. What do you mean? Yeah, Tristan also does have a. I admit it all. I admit it all.
You admit it. No, I pull cigar soup. You always admit it so easily. Because I don't care. Why do you always admit it? It's a stupid joke. I would never admit it. You just did.
Draw a camera. Few moments ago.
Yeah, side with that.
It's not admitting Aikido. It is. Luke commits an Aikido. Don't you got a new laptop Luke? Is that true? No. Alright Jin's on the way. False.
It's way too much. We do it that way. It's getting fucking insane. It's getting stupid now.
We deserve it though We work harder than we do Yep, no one realizes They think all of it is parking No, we do fucking 12 hour days Absolutely fucking thing That's what wins Seven days a week
That's what wins. Everyone else just finds a little hustle and they go get drugs and the girls and that. While we're drinking, the moosin bitch, making money, Aikido, no sleep, break up, bench press while working, Aikido. They don't know Aikido. They don't know the Aikido. No. You can actually sleep and work and fuck at the same time. All three. Secret technique. Forbidden. Very Chinese.
Andrew you need to stop now and we play music forever
It's gonna be like a hundred thousand dollars how much megabyte is each song?
No, how many megabytes each song though?
No, but how many megabytes is each song?
Are you saying we're mega rich? No, megabytes. Megabytes. No, not bytes, like bytes.
No. Don't follow that up with a menacing. No, no, no. Megabytes. If you won't spend a hundred thousand euro on Wi -Fi, you're a bro -key. Is that the definition of bro -key now? Oh, buddy. But it's just music, just sound waves. You're scared of noise.
Listen, if you're scared of playing your own music because you're not farting, what does that make you? It might make you a broke.
You guys can't just drink. It's been $100,000 on Wi-Fi. I can do whatever I want. No, but it's money.
You know what's money? These T&Cs are yours.
What is this? You can't just get giant private jet shake. This is stupid.
I have to do it, don't I?
Smooth!
Welcome to the real world Luke. Welcome to big school Luke. This is stupid. You're stupid.
You see what's wrong, right? It's not just me, I'm not going crazy.
Here we go.
Something terrible's happened.
I was at dinner.
I sat at a table with a full-grown man
at dinner, full grown man. He looked normal, looked like a normal dude.
and we're going through the menu.
What do we want to eat? What do we want to eat? Steak.
veal, going through the menu. And he sits there
And he says, "Hmm, I think I'll try the sushi." - Help! - Sushi? You're a sushi eater!
There's no power in sushi.
Literally, what? Your chopsticks are all chopped. Look at this power.
This comes from the food I eat.
You're telling me you're going to get power from sushi?
A little piece of floppy fish, some rice in a circle.
Raw fish. What do you mean? He doesn't understand. It's about fried chicken maker.
Fuck is wrong with you?
What kind of full grown adult deliberately, not on accident, deliberately eats sushi? I caught my brother ordering sushi to the house.
Salmonella. Listen, we're jet masters and I demanded fried chicken. Yes. Here you are with fucking the weakest food. Do you know who eats sushi? Little fucking soy boys. Little fucking fucking Democrats. Oh, actually, I'd like a sushi. They do. They don't go out for fried fucking chicken. What the fuck is wrong with people? There's no power in sushi.
Criminals eat fried chicken. Correct. Yes. Next. How the fuck do you think we paid for this jet, you piece of shit?
Sumo.
I'll sumo you any day, any time. I'll still sumo you. Little sushi eater. If you were to take the last 10 people to wait for our chicken, the last 10 people to wait for sushi, and put them in a battle to the death, admit the fried chicken... In America, yeah. Anywhere, bro. In the world.
No, sumo wrestling is too powerful. No, but that's not the last 10 people, is it? Okay. Now, I want you to admit what you've done. Just admit it. It's fine if you admit it.
If I admit it, would you give me some chicken? Oh, so he wants the power. He wants the power. So you realize after a few... If I admit it, can I have some chicken? After a few bites of sushi, you realize there's zero power in there. And you realize you made a grave mistake.
I'm as strong as I was. What is this, water? I fucking hope not.
I will admit that was like GNT to me Lou. Yeah booze is poison booze ass
What's annoying about this so cool yeah, it's so cold. No, what's annoying is if I was a scumbag loser
This could be water and no one would love me, but I'm a man of integrity and I was down gin and tonics
it hurts my stomach while eating no matter just to prove a point the easiest thing to fake online we do for real we do it for real killed by my lawsuit coordination i promise you guys it's real it's fucking it's in it it's ass it's ass it's real i wish we just
I hate booze. Booze is pure poison. Take confidential fans, I'm telling you. You might think you like booze. Booze is poison. The amount of booze we drink.
No, no. They're wrong. They don't get it. I love when a flag comes together. When you dance with the devil, you wait for the music to stop. And it never stops. Let me tell you something about me. My blood is heavily caffeinated. All the time. I wake up and I have six coffees.
So I'm heavily caffeinated. Heavily nicotined. Then I get some booze down. Some fried chicken. And people always go, hey, Tate, you look in such good shape. Like, what's your meal plan? Meal plan? It's this. It's true.
I'm naturally powerful. There's lemon slices in the booze. Lemon slices. True. I fucking hate booze. Can we have three more G&Ts, please?
What the real world do?
It's ass.
Look, you know what I mean?
If I load the gun, you're scared. I would genuinely be scared. If I load the gun, you're scared. I would be scared if you load the gun.
That would worry me. Wait, what? You see that move? You see that move? You know them ones. What? You know them ones. Wait.
Wait what the f-? We're not on a pro boy Jack! Oh sorry nerd! I don't wanna look at you! Wait! Wait! Wait a second no!
*laughs* Big school has these chairs. Holy shit. This can't be real. Can't be real.
No time to turn the chair. No, but we don't eat booze. We have chairs. We have chairs now. We figure it out. They lock as well. You can lock them. Spares. My heart hurts. My fucking body. My brain. At least you didn't have the vaccine.
You're welcome. Tristan enjoys the booze, Andrew hates the booze but does it anyway, and I just do it because both of them have done it.
*laughter* *laughter*
Ta-ta-da-ta!
Da da da da!
Are we rich? We might be rich. Are we finally rich? We might be rich. Is a hundred million dollars rich? Yeah, it might be.