Transcript
I don't know if anyone on Tech Confidential's notices. Marcel's black.
On the road again. Just can't wait to be on the road again. Let's go. Fuck ass. Fuck ass. Fuck ass. Fuck ass. Fuck ass.
*Boooon*
I've been set up
This guy's arguing, saying there's seven seatbelts and there's nine people. Yeah, it's France.
This is all your fault. How's it my fault?
What's the store? This is all your fault. It's not my fault. Put it on 0 .5. Look, bear.
Can't put it on 0 .5 on 4K. France.
Only France having pouring pouring rain heavy raindrops. So
Ah, it's France. Yeah, we're in France? Yeah.
I forgot it's France.
Oh, Marcel's scared now. There's no bubbles in it. Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge.
We should have been a cowboy in France. Oh, that's good Marcel. That was weak Marcel. Get up. No, no Marcel's ducking. Marcel's covering the ball. We don't actually have any. I refuse to believe everyone's had a sip and that's a wrap. Let me show you guys a real sip. Now we're going to drink like a real sip. Ready? I'm going to drink like a man now.
I just did what all you did in one go.
He never hung his head up at kiddies' blade. I should have been a cowboy.
I should have learned to roll from ride.
Wearing my six-shooter, riding my pony on a cattle drive.
Stealing a young girl's harts.
Just like Gene and Roy.
Oh, can you do that? Marcel, can you do that one? Ready, I just did it. Do the move.
- Show me the move. - Show me the move. Show me the move. - Okay, I gotta do it again now. - I'm using my powers up. - All right, go on. - My meter's low. Your turn. - I need to see the move first. - Okay. It's like this.
- It's like Paul. - See that? - This doesn't make sense.
- Nah, we don't need to.
- This is France.
- All right, back to white boy music.
Justin, how do you like the Eiffel Tower?
I love the hope. It's okay so far, cowboy.
So you hit him and watch his face go...
So this is it. So this is it. This is the Eiffel Tower.
Do you know what? It reminds me a lot of when I first seen Big Ben.
I thought Big Ben was fucking huge when I was a kid. I thought it was like...
Massive, like the Empire State.
Is Big Bang bigger than the Eiffel Tower? No, smaller.
I might be further away, I don't know.
Thank you.
So that's it. You built this.
Are you proud of what you built?
I guess it's kind of cool.
So I built this can I sell it you have family
Can I sell it?
Depends.
- To who? No one wants to buy that shit. - Yeah. - Fuck. Shit. - What's it good for?
Even the structure's just not logical, is it? Let's be honest.
They could have done a lot more with the lamp.
Hmm.
*crickets*
-
- Yeah.
It is actually almost like now he might be the same I don't know if anyone on I don't know on tech confidential notices Marcel's black I'm black John how come you didn't tell me you were
I don't see race. I don't see color. I do. So put your phones away.
put it on there. He's trying to steal our cattle.
- -
- Sure.
So that's the art of Israel. That's what I said, Dustin! The only thing that's cool about that is walking inside. It is cool. No, it actually does look quite gangsta. Inside's cool. When did they make this? Do you know? But inside, there's an apartment, which is cool. How about the top was the big G's apartment? Who lives there? Now, no. Yeah, there's an apartment. That'd be fucking G. Walking to my house.
who's fucking hugging you can just go the stairs you pay insurance and walk up the spiral staircase and talk yeah i can see it now
bro bro are you see where's the vodka i don't know what is this thing we start it's the arctic tree i don't give a there's no vodka
foot down, full speed. We have the slowest car. We have the best car. We don't. Well, the Lambo and the Porsche is better. Well, yes. Oh, then this Bentley. Yes, exactly. So you're telling me that those are faster and actual performance vehicles. Yes, and my arm hurts for surgery, so I'm driving a big slow car.
They don't realize how fucked they are with their slow cars. If you expect to beat them in a race, let me tell you. We are going to beat them in a race.
Mr. Goon. You're not Mr. Goon. I am Mr. Goon. Can you show the audience why you're calling yourself Mr. Goon? Mr. Goon. Found this in the car.
And clearly, I would be Mr. Goon if I wore this hat. Who else would wear this hat? Anyone who got a free hat for this car rally. Ho, ho, ho. So you're telling me there's a bunch of Mr. Goons? Yes. It says Goon Squad on the side. That's the idea.
Squad of Mr. Goons.
No, not mister. There's no mister. There is.
Yeah, there's no way I'm keeping it on these guys. So, fuck it. I'm determined to beat them. Because we both conceded to the fact that we're not going to beat them in a race. But hear me out. No, we will beat them in a race. It's the best car.
fucked off all the mountain driving and just drove straight to the destination, could we make fun of them for being slow? Wait, they didn't think of that? What do you mean mountain? There's like exciting mountain roads to drive, which would be fun for anyone who likes driving, me included. Or, or, I could avoid all of them and drive straight to the end destination on motorways. And we would beat them to the destination. So we'd beat them in a race. It is a race. And they'd have to admit it.
to a diesel Bentley. The better car. The better car won. It's on. It's on. I will destroy them. These two cars. Oh, you're super cars. You're a fucked mate. I'm super smart. Super sport. Exactly. So they got away, but they don't realize our plan. Our plan. We're actually there though. Yeah, he's way over there now.
They're fucked. This is the better car. The superior vehicle. We use navigation.
Advanced techniques. To cheat. It's not cheating. It is a bit. It's not. It's navigating to the destination. I can catch up with them. Maybe. Ah, we can catch up, actually. This is it. They're double fucked.
Okay, so I just sent the... I just sent our threat to all of them. That they will not win
not win the race. 0% chance. Justin, Sterling, they think they're going to win? Yeah, right. Boris, the Blade? You're right. No way. What is Lamborghini? Yeah. What? Andrew with the Porsche. Police reported ahead. Does he know I got a giant diesel Bentley? Yeah. I don't think they're fucking ready. They don't realize that we have true actual driving machines. Look at that Lambo. Oh, Lambo. So low. Ooh, so fast. You go from zero to 60 so much quicker
That's what I mean. They don't know about fucking driving.
Guys, we need to beat Luke and Tristan and Andrew and Marcel, because Luke's already in the group chat telling me that I'm...
wanker or something, I don't know. He's being super abusive. He's talking smack. Talking smack.
May. I don't know what's wrong with it.
But he's telling me that they're going to beat us in the race. Who?
Luke and Tristan think they're going to beat us in the race.
You know what? I think that's bullshit. Let me tell you why.
he might have Andrew and he might have Tristan and
They might have supercars, but you know what they don't have?
What, Justin? Power Crunch cereal.
Damn right. We ate Power Crunch cereal last night. So did you, Rory. Yep. And I'll tell you who didn't.
Marcel's bitch ass. Marcel's fucking afraid of cereal. He's a fucking coward. Wait, the power crunch was the stuff that we broke out the kitchen? Yeah, the stuff we stole from the kitchen. Yeah, the super cereal. No food in Paris? Fuck that. Paris fucking sucks. We can't get any food.
We need to sneak into the kitchen to get some fucking milk. Fucking found it. Scratching milk. You got something? Yeah, that shit. That's not milk. That's apple juice.
- Roomsday.
Thank you.
Is that normal?
why does paris have no food after midnight is it retarded well this is milk
fucking hit me hit me
that's milky got it oh bread
you
Thank you.
Thank you.
*Tonk*
you
Fuck.
We heard French voices.
- I'm gonna cool her.
*laughs*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
James bought this bitch.
With the milk. Woo!
What's what I'm talking about?
Fuck, I thought I was gonna lose it. I thought it was Marcel. I didn't have no shirt on. It was definitely Marcel.
Thank you.
I'll fumble like this. No, we're not. Yes.
Fucking freedom.
Hey, the cereal's over here. Yeah, motherfucking cereal. Get the cereal.
Drop them bombs.
Thank you.
Oh.
Thank you.
So, today when they're running on fumes and it's late in the trip and they start to get tired, what we're going to have is a power crunch cereal. And they're not going to have any of that. So we have the edge. Yeah, we absolutely have the edge. Plus, Marcel can't touch the pedal. So, Andrew has to drive the whole time. True, true.
*Dramatic music*
Good shot there from Tim!