Transcript
I think I'm live.
This is all new to me. I'm not a dork.
Alright, so you people are going to have to give me...
You're going to have to be patient with me.
You're here for the emergency meeting test. We're testing out the live emergency meetings. Anyone who's a fan of the tape,
Brand knows that emergency meetings are the core of our monumental success.
So we are gonna be doing emergency meetings
Live!
here with all of you so you can join in.
But before we can do that,
I had to work out exactly how the fuck
My expensive ass podcast studio works.
Because I built this studio.
I spent a bunch of money.
And I don't really know how any of it works. I got buttons and shit. Check this!
Pow!
What do you know about me? You don't know about me.
Thank you.
Okay.
So I can be sitting here.
Thank you.
say zoom in on that bitch boom
Bitch. Next bitch.
Behind the computer. To the hoes. Ho-cam.
Me in the middle, obviously, underneath the tape. I got readjusting, so...
see what I mean? Like wires are messy. I don't really know exactly what I'm doing.
But I think I can play adverts.
That's all I care about right now. I'm trying to run the adverts.
So let's try to run an advert right now.
I'm gonna come at you with some fire.
*music*
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
you
you
Thank you.
*Gunshot*
Bye.
I always switch back to me when the adverts over. You think I don't know about podcasts?
Just because I'm a G.
I know I'm out here on these streets, got the big guns.
but I'm learning how to use computers now. Listen, I'm 35, right? I'm not like you fucking youngsters. You're 21, living in the metaverse. I ain't Luke.
I got buttons, but I don't really know what a lot of the buttons do.
Got a button for sound.
Fuck, I just talk for sound. I'm just gonna get a button for sound.
button for cameras and shit.
But I can play adverts now. That's the most important thing. I can let you all know about the fun the War Room had in Dubai. You missed the fuck out. So today's not a proper show. Today's just me messing around with things.
Show you the diamonds. Fucking the diamonds.
That's why I get the podcast lights.
So you can appreciate 62 carats on the wrist.
Thank you.
Right. Do I need a producer? Someone's talking about hiring a producer. Do I need a producer? Hmm. I don't know if I need a producer.
I ain't that black. Yo, Timberland. No. Right. I can play sound effects, I think.
You guys hear that?
Or did only I hear that?
You guys hear a bunch of fucking American Pie music.
Or not.
I think maybe I can just hear that.
I have to know if you heard that or not.
What about this?
Hear that shit? Everyone's clapping for me. You hear it?
All right, so now this is what I mean. So I've got buttons here that make sounds. I need to change the sounds they make. I've got to have one that says like Haram, like I said, I've got to go through take confidential, get sound bites.
I'll upload that to my audio board. Don't know how that works.
I got a button.
for like a holding screen in case of an emergency.
I can press this.
Can you still hear me?
Do I have to cut? You can still hear me with my emergency button?
I don't know if you can still hear me or not.
And I can go back to camp, pal.
So I got emergency button, but the emergency screen ain't gangster. Like this ain't gangster.
podcast.
No, that's not gangster. It has to be something gangster. Ninjas have attempted to break into Tate Compound. He is currently in the middle of a battle against a shogunate.
Normal service will resume after they've been defeated.
You know what I'm saying?
James.
No, I'm not. I'll use his real name.
Shit.
Mike.
Mike, make a thing that says Ninja Shogunate. And then we'll upload that somehow to this fucking...
atem pro whatever the that is we need atem pro we need ninjas
Make that here. I've got button to make it go black.
Thank you.
Bye.
that's it. What else can I do here? I can do it. There's a whole bunch of buttons. I don't really, I'm scared to press most of them.
I'm scared to press most of the buttons. I'm too rich for this. I'm a millionaire. What am I doing?
Buttons! I should be in my supercar!
I got girls next door right now saying, I came over to see you. Shut up.
Do my TV.
Right, what else are I about? I've got another mic I'm known to talk to.
That's it, I can do my adverts. Ah, I wanna learn how.
to share my screen with you. So if I ever wanna Google something up, I can like put it on the screen and talk over it. So that's what we're gonna attempt to do right now.
We're going to try and do that. So we're going to go.
Press this. No, wrong button already. Press this. Press this.
Press this.
No, that doesn't work. So what about this?
Ah, this.
Okay.
Now go back here.
And I close that.
Then I do this.
Then I do this.
Then I do this.
Boom!
Now I can click here.
It takes a G.
Thank you.
and look that up me being a g i go back and you guys should be able to hear me talk and see me talk about
How much G?
Is that what's happening right now? Can you see the YouTube...
Can you see me saying how I'm a G?
Thank you.
And can you hear me talking at the same time?
That's what I care about. Because if so, then I'm in the game.
And then I need to know if I play a video on a browser, if you can hear it.
I don't know these things. I don't know. So now we're going to try that. So I'm going to play a video on the browser and see if you can hear it.
So we're going to play.
Tristan's Gillette advert.
How hard you tried you now find yourself struggling to use Gillette products?
Can you hear that? This is a natural reaction to having testosterone along with me talking balls.
So I need to know. Say, yes, Andrew, we can hear the YouTube video with the talking. Because if so, I'm basically done. That's it. Quick time. Bam.
So if you're none of these things, try the new morning routine. We'll get rid of that.
And then we'll go back to just me.
pow pow
All right, good.
We're done. We'll go back, press this, boom, boom.
Boom, boom, boom.
I'll get smoother. I'll get slicker.
but yeah i don't need nobody this is it so like everyone's going take come on these podcasts then i gotta fly you know it's long okay take come on this podcast i gotta get on my private chat
with then three bitches and fuck the bitches on the plane. Bitches always want to fuck on planes. Am I allowed to say that on YouTube?
I don't know.
Anyway, they always like, oh, Mile High Club. I'm like, shut up, Mile High Club. I'm tired.
All the bitches just have sex with them and you fly in the air and you got land.
Now you're in some Chicago, like the worst place. You walk out the airport. Everyone's ugly and fat. There's no Eastern European hotties. No one's wearing heels. No one has a manicure. It's just ugly, cold.
to go on my podcast. I sit there and ask me the same old questions. So Tate, how did you get all those girls?
Because I'm a chi, what do you mean, how?
Why are you asking me how? How could I not?
I just wake up and I like,
Slip and fall. Oh, shit.
Ah, pussy.
again
Fucking how I'm a bad boy.
I'm in Chicago, go do their podcast. Same old questions back on the private plane. But I'm like, no.
I've had enough of that.
So while I was on my last escapades, I sent a message to my PA and I said, build me the best podcast studio.
And she got some company.
And they're like, "Oh, it's gonna cost!"
I can't even remember. I don't even know. I said, put on the card. I have literally no idea how much this cost. It could have cost $25,000. It could have cost $100,000. I wouldn't notice either way.
I don't know.
PA put it on the car, pow, pow, now it's done.
Half an hour ago, there was some dude in here trying to show me how everything worked.
It's all broken English and this audio source,
number four
and you press this and you change setting in inside of the atom pro and your your road account what what no i don't understand you
So I kicked him out.
And said, we're going to go live and work all out my fucking self.
That's what we're doing.
And I've done it all. I can play adverts. You can hear the sound. I can do video in window.
I'm a Batman. It's over. It's all over. I haven't even started. It's over.
It's over.
That's it. I allocated like an hour to this learning how but took like six minutes. Bad boy.
Right, so.
I'm not going to do...
a show today.
Now I know how it all works. I'm going to prepare.
for the first official emergency meeting broadcast. This was just a test. Now I know how everything works.
because I've got stuff to do.
I'm going to go, I'm going to talk to the war room, I'm going to talk to Hussies University. If you're inside the war room or you're inside a HU, you're going to always know a lot more. So the basic premise is going to be, I'm going to go live to the peons.
to the peasants,
We're going to talk. And at the end,
There'll be additional content for HU members.
and there'll be additional content for world members. If you're watching this, you don't know what either of those two things are, you go to corporatetape.com to find out. You should be inside anyway. I don't know what you're doing with your life if you're not inside of either one of them two. Imagine existing as a human, not learning how to make money from a multimillionaire and not being connected and networking with multimillionaires.
I don't know what you're doing with your lives.
Cobratay.com explain all that. So it's going to be the peon broadcast, the peasant broadcast, emergency meeting, and we're going to have special broadcasts for the mandem who are on the right course in life. That's basically how it's going to work.
so before i go i'm gonna play one more video because that last war room video was fire
It was sick. Don't pretend it wasn't sick. What else do I even have? I don't even know what else I have on this computer. I'm going to have to find all my videos.
in between all the titties i'm gonna have to find all the like smooth like the titty pictures no no no no
Not that titty picture, not that titty picture.
I have here.
Right.
This.
Mic play.
let's try this out so i do that and i do this i'm a fast learner
It's a thing people don't know about me.
I'm a fast learner, but that's a .mov. .mov files don't play. James, I mean, Mike,
No .mov files.
Run fold also no MOV files. They're no good to me.
Let me try this then.
Thank you.
Mmm.
This one, see if this works.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I might get two screens on this computer as well. If I set up another screen.
then I can...
Do things.
like a screen for what i'm doing a screen for what you guys are saying like double pow pow
I might do that. I'm a bad boy like that.
Thank you.
Right. We're ready for the last advert. We're almost there.
It's going to be about to buy again.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Make sure it's not the same one we already played.
Might be.
Might be the same one. Is it the same one?
Might be the same one. Is it the same one?
*music*
I think that's the same one.
And I want to play a different one just to like, you know, make sure I know what I'm doing.
Thank you.
Is this different?
They seem the same to me. I don't know why they seem the same.
Okay.
.
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay.
This can get deleted.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. Why am I... Ladies, there's no ladies watching this.
No lady's going to watch me.
Thank you.
I'll call them ugly or something.
Tate called me ugly. Tate told me the truth.
*Squad*
*music*
*music*
you
you
.
*music*
.
you
you
you
you
I'm going to go to the next one.
*outro music*
Yo, so has it gone echoey or is it just me? I hear echo now.
You know what I'm saying?
There was no echo before. Is the sound as good as it was?
"where something gone wrong."
Is it echoey or is it all good? If it's all good.
Wait a second.
Wait.
Hello? Hello? It's me. That's it. That's better.
Thank you.
Right, so I can basically do everything, but I'm not happy with my setup. I need another screen here. I need a drinks fridge.
I need whoopies. I need chicks. Like there could be a girl who like brings me coffee.
My Glock is next door. No, from now on when I broadcast it's on the hip.
So like if I'm saying something and someone's like, I'm going to find his podcast studio, he has them diamonds, I'm going to get him. I was like, comment.
The last video you see on my channel is me empty in a clip.
So I gotta get my gun.
I got git.
One of my guns. Got to get my guns.
Go get the drinks fridge. Go get the girls.
Go get news articles.
all this to do, I'll prepare some stuff.
So I need around
24 to 48 hours before we go for the first official emergency meeting broadcast here on Take Speech.
I need an intro.
and then exit.
I need a cooler still. This is not acceptable. I need to talk about the Ninja Shogunate.
That needs to be fixed.
but I now know what I need to do.
So I'm gonna go get to work.
you
You motherfuckers need to go get some money, try and catch up with the big G to learn how on cobra tape.com.
and in 48 hours, Sunday, official Sunday. What day is it today?
Thursday. I don't even know the day of the week because every day to me is a party.
Thursday on Sunday,
It's the first ever.