Transcript
When I see meeting you present,
boom
We're live! Are we? We are live. I'm pretty sure we're live. I'm the producer and I don't know exactly what I'm doing. You may have messed it up but if you're watching, welcome!
to the first official
Emergency meeting.
Music.
Thunder in Your Heart, which was the song I chose. Tristan wasn't 100% sure on it. That was my song. Don't take credit for my song choice. It was 100% my choice. What? We've been on our podcast for like 10 seconds and you're already lying to the people.
*Music*
No, no, listen, let's not... I am the producer! You can't just ruin the podcast.
Before I get to your terrible skills as a producer, there's no need to play the intro three times. Can I just say,
This is our first time
at a professional podcast studio. No expense was spared.
Why?
Are you wearing it?
a road.
You said dress up.
Yeah, dress up. I'm wearing a tailored suit from Savile Row, London. You're wearing a robe.
I'm wearing Versace.
You have Versace suits. I'm called Versace. I'm looking fresh. I've got Versace.
What more do you need? It's Versace. You look like a jackass, and I think everyone at home watching you
Completely agrees with me. Consult me again. I dare you. Don't say something. You're going to...
*Music*
as the second half of this podcast. Who's the producer of the show? I'm the producer.
Why do you have counterfeits? I'm a G. While we're here, I actually need the audience's help because I'm deciding my new nickname.
because they don't let females call me Andrew.
I find that insulting.
No, you have to call me either. I used to be called up top boss. They come and say up top boss. Do you want coffee? No one's ever said this. Every single girl has me saved in her phone as up top boss. Don't make me start getting my phone out and prove it.
But I'm thinking of changing my name to Top G.
No one has ever called you any of these things.
The girls call me up top boss or top G. So we need to vote. Your smoke is going to smoke out the whole camera. We bought cameras. They might not see your beautiful robe.
Yeah, my beautiful robe, you're going to smoke it all out.
I can see what you're doing. Don't press that.
- Hello and tell me.
Do the girls call me up top boss?
We're top G.
How are you going to count this load? Press 1.
For Up Top Boss! Oh, people need to like... Type in the chat! People have to like press the like button or something.
like button they already like us how many likes we got doesn't help like the algorithm or something you're the producer i don't know i'm the producer exactly
I see a lot more ones than twos. So I'm top boss or top G?
- 'Cause I think-- - So I'm up top boss?
I mean, there's lots of, whoa, now the tubes are flooding in.
I might have to mix it up between the hoes. Half of them call me up top boss, half of them call me top G.
Is this what people tune in to? This is our podcast. What else do you think we're going to talk about?
I'm the producer, bro. I got buttons. Don't mess with me. Say something. I'll come at you. You don't even know what I've got. Why don't you show us? Because I have had nothing to do with this setup. My setup was get dressed and light a cigar. I got dressed.
You didn't. I got dressed. While you were not getting dressed, what were you working on? Can you at least show us what we're prepared to know what this podcast has to offer? Sure.
I have
Luke's not even here.
Exactly. But you doubt my skills as producer, but I've been working on the ability to control cams remotely.
So maybe not in this episode, but in an upcoming episode, we'll be able to call Luke's phone, FaceTime,
And when he answers, it will go live on the podcast. You won't even know he's live on the podcast. And then I can ask him where his fucking space suit is in front of everybody. - Yeah, we'll get him. - He'll have to accept it. - I'm impressed. The robe's worth it now. See, what's with all these cameras here?
Oh yeah!
You?
Nice.
us.
Me.
I got the fucking...
FlexCam.
For the broke boys. 62 carats of diamonds. I got a flex cam. It actually works because you wear your watch on the right. I wear mine on the left. So my camera sees mine. I got more than that, bro. I just have to find my things because I don't know where they are. But let me find them and I'll show you what I have for my flex cam.
I have something, I just have to find it. Why is there not flashing letters saying FlexCam?
when it flashes towards you. Listen, bruv, I'm new to this. All right. I don't have that, but I do have this.
So I've got something so I can flex on the bro. Bam. Get the watch out. I might wear a different watch every episode, a different diamond watch every episode.
Because I'm a G like that.
So we got that.
We go out.
That's me saying emergency meeting. Can you put the camera back on?
Oh, so you want to be on camera now? A little bit.
I am master of the show.
Yeah.
And look, this is a real call out for anybody who is a qualified producer. I'm now hiring.
I'm.
I'm producer. - Here you go, man. - I'm gonna stay producer.
No one's going to be a producer but me for this whole show. It doesn't matter if it slows it down. It doesn't matter if I don't know what I'm doing. It doesn't matter. I am the producer.
That's the plan. And even though we could hire the best producer in the world because money isn't real,
All right, no, you're I mean, you're passing the interview.
I put a call out.
And you are you're nailing it. I have to say you're nailing this interview. You know what? The job is yours. I'm the best. But you're hired. Do you imagine the best? I admit that you absolutely smoke the interview, but you play the intro wait.
For the thrill of the moment Taking a stand
But it turns out the people
The people who are actually broadcasting to can't hear them. Wait!
Wait, wait, everything's wrong.
Everything's wrong. I can fix this.
Give me a second. I can fix this.
I actually can't fix this.
You actually can't, okay? I can.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
They fuck.
Okay, we're back. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
They say my mic isn't as loud as yours.
Who? Who says that? Come say it again! Come say it again! Just- just turn my mic up. If you don't like how I produced the show, either come say something or log off. Turn my mic up.
one second let's see if they can hear our sound effects first can you hear this people whoo
Hey!
Woo!
Can they hear the sound effects? Because if so, we've got to do all this again and talk about sound effects. Can they hear the sound effects? Can you hear the sound effects, people?
Yes. Resounding yes. Do I have the job again?
So we have to start the whole show again. All right.
So you agree we're starting having to get it. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Emergency Me.
Taking a chance, risking it all, for the thrill of the moment, taking a stand.
So we're back. So what were you saying? So we all go through the sound effects again because they didn't understand the sound effects. All right.
Welcome to Emergency Meeting.
Andrew has been setting a lot of things up while he hasn't been getting dressed and hasn't been making any effort.
on his looks or his beard or his suit.
He's just showed up in a robe. It turns out he was actually doing some work, which is interesting.
And I was slightly impressed, even though no one else heard it. So to all of our 3,000 viewers, by the way, hit the like button, everybody.
He is going to debut...
the emergency meeting sound effects. Let's go. Yeah, so what I was talking earlier about going to Luke live,
We play this.
Because he never fucking wears it. I mean, I haven't once ever seen him wear a spacesuit. Are you even allowed to smoke on YouTube?
up.
I don't, this is my house. I'm not smoking my house.
It's just going to give us some age restriction. No under 18s. I don't want under 18s watching me anyway. True. I don't care about views or monetization. True. We don't need those things. Got to smoke. Money isn't real. See how I'm prepared. You can just talk at random and I guarantee I have the right button to press that will fit in.
Say something.
I bet you don't. I do. Say something.
No, because you've already got something lined up. Woo! That's... Emergency meeting! Fucking amateurs! Haram! I'm a G! I'm a G! I'm a up top boss! That's the plan.
They may have done well.
you've done kind of well i've done this is the best podcast since the beginning of human time apparently according to people on the comment section these these chats are coming in super fast i cannot keep up with this that's supposed to be my job so you're failing your job i'm just gonna i'm just gonna smoke instead so my job's good and you're i'm doing my job i quit and you're failing i quit all right so we're gonna start this podcast there's a few things we could talk about we could talk about why we use emergency means yeah or
For no reason whatsoever, just because I don't want the internet to forget, I just want to say,
Jack Murphy.
this was not part of today's agenda or script
Jack Murphy, if you don't know,
Now you know.
Yep.
Is that all we're going to say? Yeah, Jack Murphy. I'm not going to say nothing else. Do your own research. That's it.
That's all I'm going to say. I have so much cool stuff to show people.
What should I show them? Can we just actually talk to them for a while? About what? But that's what the podcast is for, isn't it?
- Let's talk about how I myself,
freed the world from restrictions.
Bye.
You don't know it was me? It wasn't you. The world is in free of restrictions. Most of the world is starting to free up because on day one, when they tried to lock everyone down, I got in the Lambo and put on a gas mask.
and went for it like I found the virus. No, I'm allowed to say that word. Sorry, I found
the issue. Uh-huh. We're not talking about this. I found the issue and I solved it. But, apparently, according to the chat, you've spoken to Jack Murphy and solved the issue.
you
Thank you.
Thank you.
*music*
Yeah.
you
*music*
you
.
-
*music*
Bye.
Amen.
*music*
*music*
*
-
*music*
*crying*
*Sounds of the night*
you
it all myself bro right can we actually do the podcast now
Fine. So here's how the podcast is gonna work. So every episode we're gonna have G,
of the episode. Certified G.
I'm going to certify a G from anywhere in the world. I'm going to certify them.
So any one of you watching this,
you have a chance to perhaps one day be certified.
But I've already got today's G. They're going to be certified. So I'm going to do the certified G. Okay.
We're going to show how people are winning inside Hustlers University. We're going to talk about a little bit about how the war room is conquering Earth.
And then we're gonna talk about the news, topical things,
Okay.
but we're going to do our own little spin on it because I'm the producer and it's going to be gangster. So as the most professional producer in the world, the first thing I want to do is start
by telling everybody,
Because I worked hard on this. So if you don't do it, I'm going to be a bit offending. Because I worked really hard on this.
I want you.
to follow me and my brother,
on Instagram.
Because look how hard I worked on this banner.
Look at that.
That's hard work, bro.
Could you put a banner on a screen like that? I mean, if I was sitting in your chair.
You couldn't do that. You couldn't do that. You couldn't do that. You're lying.
"Fucking amateurs." Everyone keeps saying put the chat in slow mode. I don't even know how to do this.
Slow mode.
I don't know what that means. Rule one of hate you. Toggle timestamps. Is that it? It can't be because everyone's still spamming the chat.
Top chance of messages.
Put the chat in slow-mo. Come on, do your job. I don't know how to put it in fucking slow-mo. I'm putting the banners up.
Alright, put my banner up. Let me try and find out. Can someone tell me how to put this in slow mode? I don't know how to use this. Alright, so follow me on Instagram and follow Tristan on Instagram. I just swapped up the banner like that one time quick. I'm not like my brother. I don't fail when I'm asked to do something. It's just like pow. Neither of us have ever heard of slow mode until just now. I know what slow mode is, G.
Slow-mo is when like,
A chick catches you cheating.
And you know you're cold busted.
and you know that every message you send her, she's sending to the other girl, and they're like, they got a little group chat going on now, and they're going back and forth, and all you can do is slow down. This is some professional game for the Gs.
When you know you're busted, right? Emotions are high. But you've got to slow it down. You've got to long it out. Because if it takes a long time, wait, this is only me talking about.
Pay attention.
Let's get rid of your banner because you're in the way of my, of my genius. All right. I'm going to work out slow mode because you're just, you're just making stuff up. No, this is true. You go along it out. So when the girl busts you and she's like, ah, you're dead. You're fucking, I know you're dead. I'll kill myself. All the stupid shit they say.
You cheated. You got to slow down the game. You got to give her time to process her emotions.
So you got to start replying slowly.
10 minute replies or I'm driving be right back. You're busted anyway. She ain't going to find out anything new. But by slowing down the game,
Gives her a chance to like get over a little bit. That's what slow mode is.
You tell me you've never done this when you get busted and you're like, all right, she has to wait 25 minutes for a report. Sorry. I'm the, I'm the king of getting busted. Yeah, exactly. So that's what slow mode is.
That's how I play. Oh, shit. I'm flexing on flex cam.
My Cartier Diamond watch is in it. No, Flex Ham's for me, bro. It's not for you. Yeah, but why have you set up this way? Then you can see my wrist when I'm smoking. You think as producer next episode, you will not even, I will make sure you don't fucking show your face on this podcast. If you cut me out, I will, I don't care. I'll go to sleep. You will never show your face on this podcast ever again. Guys, I'm actually going to quit this podcast. Ever again. Enjoy the only episode that I'm ever on.
Ever. I'm the producer.
I am the top G.
Okay, I've got a guy working on slow mode. My behind-the-scenes guy is working it all out now.
Is that the guy whose name run all I'd say?
Yeah, you can't say his name.
James, yeah?
You can't say James's name. Yeah, he's like, you guys have controversial content and it might affect my other work.
fucking amateur shmontraversal fix it James right slow mode slow mode so while he works on slow mode I've told the genius about my slow mode team
Now we're going to talk about, we're going to get it out of the way. We're going to talk about quickly how people are winning in Hustlers University. Because the reason we're doing this is because I get so many messages. I get about 300 DMs on Instagram per hour. If I ever don't reply to you on Insta, I can't possibly reply. I have to scroll through. I look for the pussy. I snatch the pussy out. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Put them in primary.
Maybe some dude owes me some money, put him in general, send him a death threat. Bang, bang. And then it's just delete, mass delete because it's crazy. Can you stop saying on our new podcast that you send people death threats?
This is like aren't we supposed to be nice and clean?
Okay.
Woo!
So,
Then everyone's asking questions, "Hey bro!"
I got a question about Hustlers University. What do you want? What's the question? I'm a multi-millionaire, I teach you how to make money. What's the question you can possibly have?
Like, well, I was just wondering if, wondering if what? Just shut up and join. Stop being, if you're scared of investing $49 in yourself to learn from a multimillionaire how to make money, you're destined to fail at life. I don't need to talk to you.
But because we get so many questions, I have decided in my infinite genius to set up a hotline
There's a hotline now. So whenever I talk about Hustlers University or War Room,
If you have specific questions, this is only for people who have questions about
The networks, the Hustles University and the War Room. If you have questions about joining them or you have questions and you want to be involved,
Then there's a hotline.
that you can
Wait.
official producing things. There's a hotline on Telegram.
Pow!
at EM live chat, emergency meeting live chat on Telegram. You can message them questions about
war room or hustles university and they can get you all signed up head to toe you can start making some money you don't have to dm me anymore i i pray for the day i log into my insta and it's just a just the girls
I don't need some fucking geek. Hey, bro, I'm a geek. And I'm a geek and I was wondering...
All right. 60 seconds on that done. Message this.
on telegram live whenever we're on an emergency meeting and they'll answer all your questions about the network so we don't have to clock up our show with a bunch of questions in the comments about what's hostess university exactly yeah just message exactly
Hustles University is where you need to be. We're about to explain how everyone's winning. But first, because I'm the producer, I'm gonna play an advert.
Thank you.
I'll tell you everything you need to know about joining the Hustlers University program. And the reason I actually do this, all joking aside is I'm extremely proud
of what I've built.
What we've built,
Tristan, you and I are going to basically conquer Earth. Yeah. Nobody who starts where we are from ends up where we are. And everyone pretends that they did.
They have no supercars. They're not balling. They weren't broke. They were living in a house where there was like, you know, food.
And they had a house. You had food. We had no food. You lived in a house. You lived in a house. We lived in a homeless shelter. No, and me and you are basically going to conquer the planet. Yeah, basically. Our current trajectory, it's impossible for us not to become billionaires. Yeah, basically, yeah. Be. It's exponential. Be.
And all we do is spend money. All we do is live the life. All we do.
So I'm actually very, very proud of what we've built. And I'm proud of all the people we help make money. And I do that because people who resonate with my mindset, people who agree with me on the things I say, I want them to be rich. I'm not a philanthropist. I want the people who agree with me to be rich. I want all the people who hate me and go, he's a misogynist to sit there broke.
And I want all the people who go takes a G to be flexing. And when someone goes,
Hey, how'd you get that Lambo? And you're like, listen,
I'm in HU.
That's Hustles University. When that dork goes up and goes, hey, bro, what's your job? To those nice cars, people want to say job, job, Hustles University. I don't need to work.
So we're gonna talk about Hustlers University a little bit now.
So let me decide. Didn't we just cover House of Universel? No, because we're going to talk about the wins. I thought the point.
was to put this up so we didn't have to talk about it on our podcast.
No, bro. We're talking about the wins. Okay, all right. Make it quick. Chat's in slow mode, I think, by the way. All right, so...
pal wait as producer i have many choices on how i'm gonna do this
Because I am the producer.
I need to decide exactly how I want to do this.
Right.
Here's what we're going to do.
This guy.
We're gonna put it on the screen.
Sound.
No one heard when that... They must have heard me. Everyone say no sound when you put that screen up. Apparently it cut the sound. When the image was on screen, there was no sound. This is my job.
I'm the guy who tells you what's happening.
So wait, when that image was on screen, no one heard me talking.
No.
Alright then, as producer, I've got a new idea. Okay. Because they can hear us now.
As producer, I'll do this. But it just makes the screenshots like kind of small.
Okay.
But it's fine because it proves I ain't lying. Can you hear us now?
Can you hear us now?
They can hear us. No sound of the image. Okay, good.
This guy made 39 ETH since he joined HU. 39 ETH. 39 ETH. We already done the math, bunch of money, 39 ETH since he joined HU in October.
That's that.
This guy.
This, this, I'm going to put the full screen up quick.
And I'm going to talk afterwards.
Boom. He's a lazy. Because you get two kinds of people in HU. You get people who join and want to learn how to do their own stuff, like the guy who made 39th. And you get people who just want to copy. He's copy trading. Good for him. This guy just copies the signals. We just tell him what to do. He just copies and paste. And he made, let me put it back on screen. I don't know if the sound's going to work, but I'll put it back on screen.
Boom. 519%. Yeah. And that's yesterday.
hate you is crazy everyone's making money in there everyone's making money in there all you have to do is join and it's a very very systemized process when you join you have to go through xyz pass xyz tests there's full support inside etc etc but money's being made if you have any more questions
You can message the banner.
Because now I know that you can't hear me. I don't know what I'm doing. I admit it, Tristan. You're right. All right, you admit it. Finally, you admit it. So if you have questions about I hate you, go to EM live chat.
and message him and yeah because truthfully if you're not going to invest 49 in yourself fucking amateurs you're a fucking ass so slow mode is on that's good everyone's saying why can't they super chat i think we're demonetized
Luckily, if you type a good question, I'll answer you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why can't they super chat? No one can super chat, apparently.
Nice.
We're demonetized. We're not allowed to make money on YouTube. Maybe I didn't play the intro enough. Well, luckily. Maybe I didn't play the intro enough. Don't do it again.
Actually don't. Okay, I actually won't.
No, I promise I actually won't. All right. Because if you keep doing the joke over and over again, it's just not even funny.
So I'm not going to play the intro again.
So anyway, I don't know why we're demonetized. We have to work out why we're demonetized. We have to fix that.
because
We don't deserve that, do we? YouTube men were rich enough.
No Super Chats, doesn't matter. I mean, don't worry about my mother not getting any Christmas presents this year. Yeah, I mean, we're going to go broke. This was actually our last-ditch attempt to get gas money for the Bugatti. Our last hope. Now we're going to be broke. Wait, you said Bugatti. We have to show the Bugatti. Okay.
How do I show the bag? I don't know. I've not prepared a picture of the bag. You're the producer.
I'm not prepared. You're supposed to. Now you're. I can't even see myself on your screen now.
We have to show you. Can you press your Haram button, please? Haram. Why?
Dunno. Okay. Haram. Where's the Begay? Here's the Begay. Pow. So I'm gonna do is unclick this and take this. It's not even a good picture. Oh, smicture.
Schmitt sure is not a thing. It is a bit of a thing.
All right, what if I do this?
Where do I go?
I know what to do. I know what to do. Ah, for God's sake. No, I know what to do.
I actually know what to do.
I'm going to do this. This is tedious. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this.
And I'm going to do this.
And I'm going to do this. And then I'm going to do this. And then I'm going to go...
Do this?
And I'm going to do this. And I'm going to do this.
See? You see the genius?
You're not logged in. Okay. I don't need to be logged in.
Thank you.
I do this.
And then what is this amateur night? Yes.
Then look, click the one on the right. It's better.
Then I do this. I can't click it because I'm all logged in. Okay, well you could see the Begay. People could see it. Then they could see! Okay.
All right, we have three and a half thousand people. We don't know how to work our thing.
Can you mash out the big A?
when will bitcoin reach out with these no i'm not reading any questions unless they're no no if you have serious questions about crypto then you need to be messaging em live and you need to be joining yeah don't message about this yeah so sure now we've shown up a guy should we move on to g of the week let's move on to g of the week uh a lot of the questions that are coming up here here are the kind of questions i'm not going to read so on episode one
You guys are asking me things like, oh, how much can you bench? We don't bench. We whoop ass. We'll come here and lace up. Let's go. I don't believe in numbers. I believe in I'll punch you in the face. Yeah, same, same. I don't believe in that. Like there's a whole bunch of guys who can lift weights who can't fight. Yeah. And I feel like lifting weights is kind of a bit like,
A cop out.
I mean, you got to do both. You got to do both.
So we're about to do the Certified G segment to see who the Certified G of the Week is. Certified G of the Week. Well-deserved. Certified G of the Week.
Right. You played that three times. Yeah, because... That's not... I saw you trying to not play it.
What do you mean?
*sniff*
What do you mean? What do I mean? I saw it. Listen, I know what I'm doing. Okay. I'm the producer.
I know I'm doing so we're going to do the certified G the week. So the certified G this week.
is.
We're going to...
Who's at the door?
Who's at the door?
coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee did you order coffee
Thank you.
Thank you.
Coffee.
Thank you.
Just a cup of coffee.
Before G of the week, perfect timing. Could have got some booze.
Want me to get some boo? I'll get some booze.
What is booze? Booze every podcast.
Teach the world a lesson. Woo! Wait, I don't have to do that myself. I have a button for that. Woo! Nice. Right. Well played, producer. Thank you very much. You know what? With all these haters in the chat talking about amateur, I'm now a full supporter.
of you being the producer because of all your mistakes i do shirtless podcast i'm a bad boy why i do what i want why do you why don't you have a shirt it's hot it is hot
What didn't you set this thing up? Why is it so hot in here?
cameras, lights. What is this? Why am I wearing a suit?
Thank you.
That's the plan. Put your robe on. This looks like a gay podcast now. Seriously. Okay. It is Versace.
Right. So, um, G of the week. So the G this week is the Kraken CEO. I've decided that the CEO of Kraken is a G.
Because he lives in like
San Fran. San Fran. And he's a tech guy. And I expected him to be like full liberal.
Blah, blah, blah. Turbo nerd. Turbo nerd. It turns out when you read his Twitter, he's based. Based. Super based. So we're going to put one of his tweets up.
But I can't put it on screen because when the image is on screen, no one can hear me for some reason. Read it out loud. I'll read it out loud. So he's talking about the ting that's going on in Canada. Which we're not going to cover. Which we're not going to cover because I don't want to get political on this podcast. I'll just get banned. I love Trudeau. Yeah, me too. Yeah, he's great. Anyway, so whatever is going on in Canada, and he's saying that, look, if the government come and tell me to freeze your wallet, I'll do it. So get your Bitcoin out of my wallet. Your keys, your coins. So he's literally damaging his own business and saying, don't keep your crypto on my exchange.
I believe in freedom more than I believe in my own company. I respect that here. I'm going to put the tweet up now for you.
There. I like that. That was pretty G. He is willing to have people take millions, hundreds of millions off of his exchange, lowering his market share, his share price, everything.
just for the sake of not letting the government steal someone's money. I think that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. And if you read it, he's all about how...
If you don't have freedom to transact, you don't have freedom to do anything else. And when they freeze your bank account, they're effectively freezing your speech because you can't talk without money. You can't go anywhere without money. You can't live without money. And he's saying that you don't live in a free society. These democracies are all
False. That's what he's saying. That's what he's saying. We are not saying that on this podcast. I would never say that. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. But if you agree with the Kraken CEO, perhaps you might belong in the war room. But that's not my personal view. But that's his. Of course. But he is a certified G. He is a certified G. So I'm going to put it up one more time. I want you guys to follow this man on. Because everyone's saying, oh, I couldn't read it. Learn to speed read. Speed read. Nerd. I'll put it back.
So he's a bad boy.
So his Twitter...
It's on there. I'll put it up one more time. You need to follow him on Twitter. I'll read it out for you all.
One more time.
at J-E-S-P-O-W. Follow him. Everything he says is based. And I'm very impressed that someone living in San Francisco's base. I don't know why once you become based, you would stay in San Francisco.
I don't know how that happens. I don't know. But maybe he's just a soldier.
He's a soldier for the good fight and he doesn't want to abandon ship yet. Like we ran away to a base place.
But, and where we live is pretty based.
It's pretty based where we live out here. In fact,
I think it was, was it yesterday?
I don't think I have the video. Doesn't matter. Well, we don't talk politics on this anyway. Yeah, it's true. But yeah, he's he's the G of the week. So what we're going to be doing is I'm also going to be choosing a hustler from HU every single week or every single episode. Hustler of the week. Hustler of the week. That's right. Hustler of the week, certified G of the week. And that's going to be a constant with every single episode that you watch. Yeah. So we're going to be doing that. We're going to be talking about Jack Murphy.
No, we're not.
We are. No, that wasn't even the plan on this one.
Why would we mention him? He's a masculinity coach. I don't know anything about Jack. I met Jack Murphy once. Do you know that? I actually had nothing against Jack. Me neither. I met him once, and I managed to...
We had no Uber and we were on our way back to the hotel because we were in a big group of people, me, him, Sarnović, a bunch of people from CPAC. And I managed to convince two black dudes to give us a ride to the hotel.
And they weren't our Uber.
and that was the that's the jack murphy story now he's a nice guy nothing against him but then he
smacks sack smack scene oh smacks estimation smacks estimation and i was like yeah because we said we're not going to mention this maximation yeah and you know what like i'm unforgiving i'm not going to lie the oh we are unforgiving as a as a pair yeah i will cut you out if you look at me wrong forever you can't be you can't be promoting that kind of global tyranny and then and then whatever happened happened that it's kind of just like i feel like i just need to say jack murphy
Jack Murphy.
Do we need a button?
Jack Murphy. Jack Murphy. Jack Murphy. Jack Murphy. Fucking amateur. Woo! Woo! We need a Jack Murphy button. Jack Murphy button. James!
Make it. Stop saying his name. Oh, sorry. Producer. Is he even the producer? He's not. He's not even in this country right now. He's just trying to wing it from wherever he is.
All right, so we've talked about
Cheetah Week. We've talked about how H.U. is going to make you a bunch of money unless you're an amateur. We've talked about your mate Jack Murphy.
Now we have to talk about news stories. Now we call them Mac Jerfie.
Mac Jurfy?
All right, Mac Jurfy. All right, so what's in the news? All right, what's in the news? Got some news for you.
Thanks for you.
Thank you.
Oh, do we need dork of the week?
Dork of the Wii. Dork of the... Nah, because bullying will get taken down, man. Because we'll go hard.
We will go hard. We would go hard. Yeah. I once lectured my mother.
over dinner when she said the moon landings weren't real in front of like 10 people.
I do not accept.
Yeah.
ignorami around me.
One thing that did happen this week is if anyone, when I was talking earlier about how I'm proud of what I've built,
I actually am because what happened was the story is very, very short. I started with absolutely nothing, became extremely rich by myself through absolute tenacity. That's the one thing I have that nobody else has. I have unmatched perspicacity and indefatigability and I'm tenacious and I'm compendious. I'm all of those things.
And what happened is,
I went into space time.
I walked out into the universe and I attacked space. I saw him do this. I grabbed it.
by myself and I twisted it and put it in an arm lock and told space time,
You better make me tall, strong, rich, sexy.
funny, interesting. You better do. Give me all of it. I refuse to be anything else. Because you know why? No, no. Now I'm getting mad. I'm getting mad now. All right. Let's go. Because you know why? Unleash. All these other people on fucking Twitter and YouTube and they're like, teachers teaching shit, blah, blah, blah. Preach. We have it all. Why are you going to learn from the fitness guy if he's a fitness guy who ain't rich? A bunch of people here are asking, by the way, and the answer is no. Is Andrew on testosterone steroids? I'm on loads of testosterone. You know,
smoking smoking it really does i don't need injections we don't take steroids ever i put my blood test on twitter and i'll do another blood test here live and put it on live we do not take drugs stop asking stupid questions i'm never taking testosterone i don't take creatine protein shake none of that crap you know what i do i smoke cigars i drink booze i have threesomes and i hit the gym and i lift the weights like a g that's it that's it there's no secret hard work that's all
all -encompassing
all-encompassing individuals. And when you're all-encompassing, what you can do is
You can identify and teach
the advantages of correlation between different asset groups. So if you have a guy who's like in really good shape, but he's broke, right? He can teach you how to get in shape. That's fine. Cool. That's good. But if you have a guy in really good shape like me, who's also rich, I can teach you the correlation between the two. I can teach you how money will affect your fitness. I can teach you how girls will affect your mindset. I can teach you all the different things. And then what I can do is I can teach you how to springboard from one to the other. We made our first money.
Webcam. We made our first money, millions of dollars, the money from having girls. Yeah.
So we springboarded, we excelled in one area and springboard and used it in other areas. If you come to me and you're in good shape and you have nothing else, I'll tell you how to use your good shape to get rich, how to use your good shape to affect your mindset, all these different things. You ever heard the saying,
First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman. That's wrong. We are kickboxers who started a webcam studio and got rich. First we got the power, then we got the women.
And then we got the money.
So again, on the flip side, if there's a fat nerd who has billions of dollars trying to teach you how to get rich, he can teach you how to make money maybe.
He can't teach you how to be rich.
as a G, how to enjoy the world as a multimillionaire when you're tall, strong, dangerous, smart, sharp, all the above. So why would you learn from that dude? That's right. Because I got enough money. That's right. So you got to learn from us.
I can't remember my original point was making. Give me a woo.
Woo! Woo! Oh yeah, I was talking about why I'm proud of what I built. So once I conquered Earth and realized I'm the greatest human on the planet, I thought, I need to find all the other Gs out there. And I realized that if you're an actual badass and you're living life, you're not going to interact with cool people on the day to day because you're too rare. Ever. Ever. So I joined all these private network groups and they were all full of dorks. They may have been rich. Geeks! But they were geeks! They looked like geeks! Everything about them was a geek. They spoke like geeks! Maybe my wife will let me out one day. Like you're a CEO!
What? You're worried about your wife? Your wife? Your wife won't let you buy a Lambo? You're pushing a Toyota and you've got 10M?
One, you're still a bit poor, I get it, but buy the Lambo.
week. So,
I started the war room to basically put the feelers out there and attract a conglomerate of superheroes. It's kind of like Avengers. And now what's happening is, and I'm saying this to all the people watching, if you're ever in a high-end club or a high-end establishment, you might very much like the bat signal.
see a war room logo projected. So this was in, yeah, there's the logo behind us. You can see the logo there. And this was in Las Vegas last night, but 12,000 miles away from us.
Thank you.
So that's what's going to happen now. We have over 1,300 members in 72 countries. So if you're ever standing somewhere and you see that logo projected, you know there are
Bad boys in the building.
You're like, oh, there's war room members here. Yeah. We're conquering Earth now.
So anyone who's not inside,
You know what's kind of the way the world works? The world is very, very much player versus player. There's only so much money. There's only so many women. There's only so much happiness.
right you have to take it i have to take it i am super super happy that's why you're all sad i took your happiness from you i have all of it yeah i took it it's right here space time gave it to us when we threatened space time yeah space time gave me your happiness that's why you're sad
And as the war room conquers, unfortunately, as members enrich themselves, the only way that can happen is if non members pay the price. You're either inside or outside. Very much like what happens with governments and organizations, all these things. As they enrich themselves, everyone else must suffer. For every bottle of champagne I buy, there's got to be some Frenchman barefoot stepping on grapes.
I don't want to step on grapes. I'm busy. I need the fireworks. So I've got war room updates. I've got screenshots I can show you from inside the war room, but you know what? No.
I don't think that's even the point of the
I don't guess. No, it's not. So I just want to let people know out there that if they ever see the war room signal, you need to be scared. It's like Batman's in the building because members were getting bigger. We're conquering all the high end establishments. I don't know if they saw what happened in Dubai. The king of Dubai and Ronaldo was in the same swimming pool as us. Yeah. Ronaldo, that football guy. We booked the whole location out and the next day they were there.
So they rented the same place out, but we had it first. The king of Dubai was trying to flex on Ronaldo in the same place the war room was having at Summit. There are only so many high-end places in the world. There are only so many. No matter how rich someone is, Jeff Bezos could not buy a faster car than me.
It can't.
We are at the top level. He can't go to better places than me.
It's true. There's nowhere else to go. Yeah. So we just finished Dubai. And our next war room summit is actually going to be in Colombia, Colombia.
Mmm. Woo!
.
*music*
you
♪ ♪
you
♪ ♪
Hmm.
you
I'm going to go ahead and get some more of the things I've been doing.
Bye.
you
So now on to the most important subject. The most important subject. Firstly, I want you to explain why we call this podcast emergency meetings. Emergency meetings are the foundation of our entire lives. They're the foundation of our organizational structural capability.
to conquer the world.
So the way we work is in our house, if you watch Take Confidential, by the way, Take Confidential banner, we have one. Oh, hit me on the spotlight. Do we? Well, you're the producer.
Give me time. Well, we have another YouTube channel called Take Confidential.
Take Confidential is where you get to see our lives. Here you get to interact with us, hear us talk. It's live. But Take Confidential is where you get to see like an inner workings of what we actually do day to day.
So...
Yeah, I found one. All right. I found quick busted up quick quickly quick.
Thank you.
you
you
Thanks for watching!
.
you
Bye.
*music*
you
*outro music*
So that's A Confination. That's our lifestyle. Yeah, and our lifestyle is very, very, very fun. I don't think there's a single YouTube channel where people are spending as much money as we spend, having as much fun as we have with so few subscribers.
because we literally whip out an iPhone and start recording when we're doing super cool things.
Like we'll be buying a $400,000 car, whip out an iPhone, record for like eight seconds and edit in with footage of us drinking and screaming. Woo. So, you know, when, when most people buy like a car, they buy Rolls Royce and they'll do an episode on it. Yeah. Do closeups of the car. Yeah. And them in the showroom and talking about the features. And we're just like, yeah, okay. Put on the debit card. What has heated seats? Who cares? Get over it. No one really cares. Like we, we could be so geeky about take a financial and make it big, but we're just like minor. Yeah. I know. Who cares?
Yeah. So that's take on it. That's what emergency meetings are about. Emergency meetings are the fundamentals of our life. So I understand what that means. You have to watch take off it and the topic.
of today's actual emergency meeting. Yeah, because this is, guys, this is a real emergency meeting. This is real. It's a real emergency meeting. Now that we've covered the format of the show, what you can expect to see for the podcast, we need to talk about,
Andrew, how we are going to free Joe Exotic the Tiger King.
Yes, we do. We need him on the show.
And we can't have him on the show from fucking jail.
Did you know that he wants a divorce? He wants a divorce. Yeah, did you know that? I did not know that. All right, so first things first. While my Instagram's not on the screen, let me log in. Okay. It's not on the screen, right? Because I don't want anyone to see it. No, it's not on the screen. I don't see my password. It's not on the screen. Because then they'll get my hoes. They won't. They will. They got my password. No, what they'll do is they'll snitch on you. They'll see the hoes and they'll say, Andrew doesn't treat you right. I've had it before with the player's year. Oh, yeah, player's year. Talk about player's year while I do this. Ah, player's year. Ah, no. Do I talk about the player's year?
It's on Twitter. It's one of my last tweets. I once ran a diary in 2020 when I used to be a Playboy. Obviously, I've given that up. Every single day, a brand new post, a brand new woman in my bed. It was the best diary I think ever kept.
in world history and it's a free ebook available on gumroad.
right now is there anywhere else that can find it besides twitter on the website uh yeah cobra tape.com forward slash the players year or forward slash players year which ones i think it's the players here yeah or they can message the uh the group or they can or they can message the group yeah em live to telegram they'll point you yeah because i am i was simply the greatest obviously now i've i've joined a life of christ
And I've taken up celibacy forever.
But,
Joe Exotic wants a divorce. Yeah, Joe Exotic wants a divorce. I found this out today. I was quite upset.
So let me put this on the screen. Poor Joe.
You got to free my man, Joe Exotic. I'm telling you. Yeah, this is not the best, but whatever. It's not the best, but whatever. This is his post on Joe Exotic's actual Instagram. At Joe underscore.
exotic.
And he says, Dylan Passage, I want, I don't want to swear. We're not at swear. Are we allowed to swear?
Fuck yes. Dylan Passage, I want a fucking divorce so I can get remarried. Let me know where you're living so I can have you served. And I know it's not Texas. So when Joe Exotic went to jail, his guy,
is not with this other dude. Cheat on him. Or on button.
haram haram you can't cheat on joe joe exotic the man wrestles tigers like i think it's really unfair how the whole world loved his show and everyone thought it was funny like carol baskin blah blah blah and then they just left him to rot in jail that's not okay that's not cool at all so i want to get joe exotic out he's an honorary g of the week for sure oh he's gonna be bro when he's out and he's on this show i'm gonna free him people think i'm talking people don't
and Andrew is and this is right I'm not going to talk about this nerd
Recently, some nerd on Twitter was saying Andrew's name. What they don't understand about me and you is we can actually project force out into the real world. We're not just guys you could tweet at.
You tweet at us, things mobilize. I had four, I had like five dudes fly from Vegas to LA with war room t-shirts on, get an SUV and pull up to his house.
That's who I am. We can project force out into the real world. So when a G like Joe Exotic is locked up,
I don't know. That's right. So if anyone can save Joe, it's us. I mean, we're the only ones trying. Yeah.
No one else is even trying to free him right now.
So here we go.
So here you can see on Joe Exotics,
Aww.
You can see Joe Exotic's GoFundMe. GoFundMe, nice. Everyone loved the show, but...
no one's helping go fun no one's helping my brother out no one's helping a brother out but you can see see all donations you scroll down here i think he's at the top
Was that the top right there?
Right there. Is that on screen? Yeah.
Hopefully. Emory Tate. 10 G's. $10,000. $10,000. So what I did is I sent my boy Joe 10 grand. $10,000. $10,000. So let him know I'm serious.
Like I ain't just sitting here talking, bro. I'm coming for you, Joe.
It's in the bag. I'm going to get you out. So I sent him 10 grand.
His lawyer reached out to me and was like, man, thank you for that. I was like, bro, that's just a start.
Money isn't real. I'm a Batman.
I'm up top boss. I got quarter of a million from my boy Joe. We need to get him out. So he's like, all right, well, he's running through telling me about how everyone snitched on him, how they've gone through his house, wrecked his house. Snitches.
You can look on YouTube. His house is abandoned. The park is abandoned. Everyone's abandoned. Poor Joe. And he's like getting sick. So.
I paid the 10 G's to show I'm serious.
Next week, I'm organizing a call, a three-way call. I'll record it between me, Joe Exolik, and his lawyer.
I'm going to talk to him before I don't get that donate quarter of a million dollars. I'm going to get Joe Exotic out of jail.
And we're going to move him to Romania. And we're going to give him his Tigers back.
And he's going to be here live on the show. Yeah. That's my plan. It's right here. Now, you know I'm about it. I'm not a liar.
So my mission is
My mission is to free Joe Exali. And the other thing I'm working on,
is i've been in touch and anyone who follows me on my socials will know
I've already been in touch with, and I'm speaking to both of the girls who got Tinder swindled.
Tinder swindler. Tinder swindler. So they're saying to me like,
He's going to be famous. I'm like, listen, listen.
Like, I don't want to. He looks like a geek. He looks like a geek. So why did a geek fool you?
Yeah, you got full biking. Yeah, true. That's the first thing. The second thing is like, of course, these girls thought they'd get retribution. They thought this will teach him a lesson.
He doesn't care. His Insta's blowing up. Oh, he's got attention. He's a Tinder swindler. He's cool now.
You can say, hey, tender swindler, let me take a picture. He's famous now. You haven't heard him in any way. And I said it on my last video on tape speech, tender swindler. You need some real retribution. And those girls have reached out to me now. They both humbly came to me and said, Batman,
Up top boss, top G of the war room. I admit I need your help because this little documentary hasn't hurt him in any way.
and I have fully legal
for fully legal paths.
to retribute. Fully legal, always. Fully legal. I don't need to break the law. That's the thing about us. We are actually fully legal. We're fully legal. So I said, there's a lot we can do. Yeah, right. There's a lot we can do.
But for that to happen, I want you to come to Romania.
and come on my show so I can interview you both.
And they're like, okay, but I'm scared to come to Romania. Like, scared? You're not scared to send a bunch of money to someone who looks like a geek. Yeah, you're not scared to give a bunch of money to some geek. You're not scared to get on a jet after one date to Bulgaria. That was what she went on her phone. Bulgaria? That's like...
That's like Romania 1971. Yeah, I'm like, look.
Google me.
You're safe. You're with the champ, champ, champ, champ, four times world champion. So she Googled me and she was like, yeah, okay. I can tell. Yeah, you're safe. And then she Googled a bit more and she's like, well, you seem a bit misogynist. Listen,
Listen, you want me to fix your problem or not?
Because you ain't going to fix it. You've made your little Netflix. He's famous. You're running out of time. People are starving. They don't care anymore. They're not going to give it. They're certainly not going to care in a month. True. So your little claim to fame is running out.
No one else is going to care. Just like Joe Exotic, I'm the only man left like Batman who believes in righteousness, who's going to go out there and do the right thing. I am your only hope, Cecile and Pernilla.
It's only me. You need me. So maybe a bit misogynist.
But sometimes you got to work with the bad guy to catch a bad guy.
So Cecile and Pernilla, I'm currently in conversations with, and hopefully they're going to come here to Romania.
She was like, why don't you come to Stockholm? I'm like, I've been to Stockholm. Stockholm's done. Done. Completed. We've completed. Check the player's year. I completed Stockholm. Check the player's year. The level is finished. Can I get a woo?
Woo! Bro, you walk into Stockholm. We walked into Stockholm.
So-called might be the easiest place in the world.
what to end up with a beautiful woman.
Obviously, I've left that life behind me. Obviously. It might be. They're just like so like. Like you talk to them. You have a drink with them. Then you want to go home. And they're like in your taxi for some reason. You're like, I didn't say to get my taxi. You go to your hotel. And they're there pouring drinks. You're like, why? Why is he in my hotel? And then they're naked. And you're like, well, fine, I guess.
Like, yeah, it's like they're they're.
Every real G knows, right?
If a girl talks to me,
It's over.
The only way you are safe from my powers is if I try and talk to you and you say no and walk away. But if you're friendly to me,
I will make you laugh. I will famoose you. And over time, you'll end up being like, I want him. And the things with Swedish girls is- Aikido. Yeah, it's Aikido. And Swedish girls will talk to you.
You'll be like, hi. All day. Hi.
Where are you from? Yeah. And like, I'm naked. Yeah. They want to be your friend, but, but they don't, after being your friend for like an hour, they just end up on their backs. Yeah. I got Aikido. We need an Aikido button. Oh, we need an Aikido button.
But they get Aikido badly. And then they're like, oh, I got Aikido. And then they're like, I love you.
It's like, oh, of course you do. Of course you love them. Of course you do.
Now what? Now you love me. And then they end up sending you money. So that's how they got Tinder swindled. So they tell me to come to Stockholm. I'm like, look, Stockholm's done. I have nothing left to do there. If I go to Stockholm, I'm going to Tinder swindler somebody. If I go to Stockholm, I'm going to have to end up repeating.
I'm going to have to repeat tasks that have already been completed. Because the whole city has been finished. The whole city. All of it. We stayed there for two months.
Game over. Can't say why. Game over. We just felt like going to Sweden for some reason. Game over. Yeah. It was the only country in the world that was open for some reason. For some reason. And we went there. And we just thought, let's go. So I was like, no, you have to come to Romania. So they're still scared about Romania. They're looking me up. They think I'm a misogynist, whatever, whatever. But you need me.
The whole world needs me. I'm that guy. I'm a bad guy, but you need me.
Oh, I'm a bad guy and I say bad things. What other multimillionaire who owns a baguette is going to teach you how to make money? What other multimillionaire that owns a baguette and has my kind of connections that can project force around the world and send goons to some random guy's door is going to allow you to join his private network? Or...
Try and free Joe Exotic. I'm the only one. Justice might be a bit misogynistic.
But people need justice. People need justice. So it's literally like there's no other superhero. I'm basically Bruce Wayne. What is Batman superpower?
being rich and being able to fight.
That's all he has.
That's all he has. Remind you of anyone? He's rich and he can fight.
That's us. That's all you need to save the world. That's us. So we're going to save Joe and Zoe. I'm going to save Pernilla. I'm going to save Cecile. I'm going to spend my time just on a righteous crusade for justice. You're the best man I know. Thank you very much, Tristan. I appreciate that.
Because ever since I cracked 100M,
I don't need to make any more money and there's nothing else to do. So I am now on a justice. I need a justice button.
I need a justice button. What? As producer, I feel like I need to play something now to talk about justice. What do I have here? I feel like there's a clip in Batman Begins where Ra's al Ghul says justice is balance. I think you need to cut that bit out and just play it.
Or I can play me doing donuts in my Lambo. That's not justice.
Bye.
So
Bye.
you
Bye.
you
That's me in the Batmobile. Is that justice? Does that represent justice? It does a little bit. I don't think it does. I think you just looked for a clip where you looked cool in your Lambo.
Just look, they tried to say speed limits and stuff. And I just just I just turned up just done a donut like broke the speed of justice.
What are you going to do? I'm Brad Justice.
oh people ain't ready for the world isn't ready for that yet it was not ready gee of the week in six months time yeah special guest one of these days
Maybe we should make Luke a special guest.
Who's Luke, your cousin?
He's your cousin. Your cousin, Luke. Oh, the son of your dad's sister, Luke.
That's it.
You might be my cousin. You might be. Not my cousin. I don't know a Luke. I'm the last force for justice. Never heard of her.
You know what?
I'm going to FaceTime him and put him live on the podcast. Not right now.
I'm going to work it out. Let's famoose him and FaceTime him. And he'll answer the phone like, hello?
Hi, I was just in the metaverse. What's up?
He now knows it's going to happen. He's probably watching this.
Listen, Luke, if I FaceTime you and you do not answer,
It's a straightener. Justice. Justice. So you either have a straightener or you answer the FaceTime.
justice is a dish best served with booze correct isn't that the same correct i think i've got it right so we've showed my lambo we showed the batmobile we've spoken about our goals for this year our goals this year free joe's like so we need we have the two votes so what do we need is we need an official one more time vote if it's top g or up top boss we don't need that and then we need an official up vote if what's the primary priorities the priority the tinter swindler girls or free and jones oil so let's do first let's first let's do
one for up top boss, two for top G. Let's do this now. Let's get this settled. In the chat, one for up top boss. Wait, I think I could do something.
You can do a poll.
top g what is it what do you mean what is it up top boss or top g
I'm a G! I'm a G! Alright, I think I just made a poll.
People can vote? Yeah!
Are they voting live? They're not voting yet, but they should be able to any second. Up top boss or top G?
Is there a poll?
that would that would make you a pretty good producer if you did well now here we go top g 78 no votes for up top boss yet
All right, this is important.
All right, so we're going to give it a few minutes. So we need to play a video while they're voting.
No, we don't. Yes, we do. Stop playing these videos. No, I'm a producer. I am on this podcast to talk to the people. If they want to watch our videos, they can go to Tate Confidential and see our lifestyle. There's no need for the videos. We need everyone to vote. Yeah, but they're voting already. No.
One minute, everyone, when you're finished voting, the video is going to be over. We need everyone to vote. Should we play the video of our pool party? Remember our pool party last year? I do remember that. About half of these girls don't talk to me anymore.
*music*
Cover it up, you like to play your own game. Cover it up, don't let them know what you're thinking. I bet you'll never tell them how it feels.
How it feels.
*sad singing*
I
Cover it up, you like to play your own game Cover it up, don't let them know what you're thinking
Thank you.
I bet you'll never tell them how it feels
How it feels.
Cover it up, you like to play your own game Cover it up, don't let them know what you're thinking I bet you'll never tell them how it feels
How it feels
- Yeah.
-
How it feels to you.
Cover it up, you like to play your own game Cover it up, don't let them know what you're thinking I bet you never tell them how it feels, how it feels, how it feels Cover it up, you like to play your own game Cover it up, don't let them know what you're thinking I bet you never tell them how it feels
How it feels, how it feels
I'm out.
you
Some video of us suplexing some whoopies. Should we explain the word whoopie? No.
Top G wins. No, no, you don't know what whoopee means. No. Ending the poll, Top G is officially your name, I guess. I'm officially Top G. Right.
Now, no, no, no, no, we don't stop for a second. Do we? Yes.
G! G! I got a message. All them girls to change their name to Top G. Like this is an hour. I'm like, listen, send me the screenshot, show me Top G. What emojis did you put? I put a heart. Is that it? Unoriginal. Didn't try. Demoted.
I want I want work. Top G is the new name. I'm the top G of the world. Top G. Her name is Jessica and she used to work for me.
A long time ago.
And she made me loads of money.
And I don't talk to her anymore. So everyone, someone asked who the girl with the big tits is in the video.
you
Yeah, so I'm top G. So that's the first poll done. All right. Right. Poll number two. Poll number two. We're doing polls every every I didn't even know I could do this.
I'm learning on the fly. Right. So we're going to save the Tinder Swindler girls, or we're going to save Joe Exotic.
Because I'm Batman, but I got limited resources. I only have so much time. I have unlimited money, but I have a certain amount of time. All right, let's go.
Let's go. New poll. Poll number two. Poll number two. Start voting. What's our mission? Who are we going to save?
How many likes you got?
uh likes on the i don't 2.3k that's rubbish press the button more people yeah you should like it's a little bit you should like the video
It's good for us, I think, somehow. I don't know. Follow us on Instagram.
And then like our stuff.
Ooh, it's close. 50-50. 51% of Joe Exotic right now. The votes are still coming in. It's exciting. Live commentary here.
Joe before hoes is before hoes, Joe's before hoes baby. But then girls like,
I could go snatch him up from Israel and come up from behind it.
Come here!
Yeah, your enemies are here.
Yeah, your enemies. Turned off. Exactly. Strapped. About to get swindled.
I'll swindle you. IRL swindle. In real life swindle. Ooh, no one wants to IRL swindle. You don't want to get swindled by the taste in real life. Look, man, back when I was a playboy, I was so good at dating apps. They used to call me the bumble humbler.
I used to make these bitches cry. Back in the day, before I converted to Christianity and became a good man. That's why all those girls from the pool party, I'd lost touch with a lot of them. I go to church too often. I'm always praying. It happens. I mean, it happens, but I'm much happier and more fulfilled in my life.
Bumble Humbler, I like that. Yeah, the Bumble Humbler is what they call me.
52% to Joe Exotic. I think Joe Exotic might be the way. How many votes are we on? When he's out, he could be the grinder finder. Nice. Nice. He does want a divorce. He does want a divorce. The grinder finder. Come on, Joe.
How many votes? Time to put that pimp glove back on.
I think the science is settled.
I think that at 1,584 votes, the winner, I'm going to end the poll. No, no, no, no, don't end it. All right, all right. It's close. It's close. It can go either. At 2,500 votes, we end it. No one's going to vote. People aren't voting. Oh, wait. It's close. It's 51 to 49. That's what I mean. You can't end it too early. You can't end it.
But I'm jokes before hoes myself. All right, we'll give you one more minute. I'm sorry if you're watching.
Pranilla and whatever.
Don't, don't play videos. One more minute. No one likes the videos. No, don't, please. No, no, but this feels good. Everyone's voted against the videos. Let me explain this video. No, but no, who cares? This is when I went to the car wash in my 720. That has nothing to do.
with the poll that we're doing right now. Zero. I said to the car wash guy, I'll give you the contract to clean all my cars. Listen, I have six. At the time, I only had 15 or 16 cars, which isn't that many. I said, I'll give you the contract to clean all my cars every week, which is worth like a lot of money because I do valet in. Videos are boring. It's like $1 ,000 a week. Tristan's right. And I said, but I want hot girls to clean my cars only. So I got a car wash to specifically get models to clean my cars.
Even though they didn't do as good a job as the men,
even though they didn't do as good a job as the men, just because I'm a G-like. All right. I'm getting some of the clips are essential, so go on, play.
Thank you.
hear me let me read one of the comments to to sum this up it's now 50 50.
See, you tried to end it. But one of the comments is completely right. They're just broke. He's in jail. Joe's before hoes. So I kind of agree with that guy. And here's the thing.
These people watching, like, God bless all of our followers, but you're not actually the boss of me and what I do.
So I don't actually really have to listen to this poll.
I think we should. I don't know. I kind of want to get the swindler. I want to rock up on him.
It's been a while since we kidnapped anybody, bro.
Remember the olden days? We have, we've, for YouTube, we have never kidnapped anybody. This is, this, these, these messages are for entertainment purposes only.
Remember the olden days of the blacked out van and the balaclavas.
Just rock up on it.
just like
Entertainment purposes only. His mom's like, "Stop!" We're playing characters. We're actors. These aren't even our real names.
Tinder, Tinder.
YouTube.
He's making things up for dramatic effect. Israeli extraction. We'll have the jet on the runway, drag him on. We could.
I mean, I miss those hypothetical days too.
Exactly. The good old days. That didn't happen because we made that up. Of course we did. YouTube.
entertainment purposes why are you so scared of youtube i scared of youtube no but they're just after one episode they're gonna axe us i'm the top g
You're going to be the top G on Instagram live with no podcast studio in a minute. I'm the top G. I think it's 50 50.
I'm the top G's. Let's do this. Do we have to say both? It's 50-50.
We'll have to say both. All right, cool. We'll have to say both. And the poll. We'll say both.
We have to say both. That's it. Joe's and hoes. You've got to say the Joe's, got to say the hoes. Got to say the Joe's, got to say the hoes.
So I have a lot of work to do as Batman. So for that reason, I'm going to play a very- No, no, no. Listen.
They've had enough of videos. I think we just say goodbye. We call the podcast and then how long has this been?
I think everyone's had our dose of entertainment. No more videos. No more videos. You gave them four introductions. This is ridiculous. It's honestly ridiculous. You know what? You know what? Let's do a poll.
more videos or no more videos because you know if you want to listen to these people so much
No more videos.
More videos. Now, community, don't press more videos just to annoy me.
We need more videos. Oh yeah. We can't do more videos. We can do unlimited polls. Your job you can do, but I'm not allowed to play do my thing. You, I played, I've done three polls. You've done about 1,865,224 videos so far. Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Thank you.
Wrong camera. You're literally showing that it is. Oh, no, wait, that is correct.
What is this?
It's super out of focus.
You have no idea how to use this equipment. No more videos, 62%. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen at home. Well, probably gentlemen.
We're misogynists, apparently, for entertainment purposes only. So no one's going to actually watch this. Oh, and that's focused. It's focused. Focus for half a second. People got the picture.
People got the picture.
What's going to do?
All right, but the videos lose. People are tired. The video was going to be a good one. No, I mean, they're all okay, but no one wants them. No, the video, they do want them. It was going to be about how I attacked the universe. It's not going to be nothing else. It's going to be a video about how you can attack the universe. No. I specifically made it. Okay, no. All right. If you want to do polls, do one more poll.
Because it's got to be fair because I don't know what video it is. No, but. Do last poll. The poll's still open. You've told them. Close this one. Close this one. No, because they voted. No, they didn't know. The people have spoken. Close and we'll do it again. And then we'll respect the vote. This is, okay. Respect the vote. Okay. I have a video that explains how I went into space time and grabbed space time with my bare hands and forced it to make me rich and powerful and strong.
Do you want to see that video so that you can repeat my success? Or do you not want to see that video and not understand? All right. It's space time video or Tristan is right. All right. Space time video. That's what I have. It's either space time video or no space time. Or Tristan is right. And we'll respect the poll. Okay.
We will respect the poll. Because I think we've done a lot of videos. Because we're a bit excited. We loaded them all up. We have videos. We thought maybe we'd do one per episode. You just keep playing videos.
People get to...
You know what?
I'm sick of you people!
What were you saying about videos?
you're you're now now you're trying to annoy me i'm seriously i'm gonna quit this podcast on day one you're gonna lose your co-host i got videos i'll just i'll just keep calling well they voted for the video now i'll just keep calling why are you people doing this because they know that you have to attack space time that you you need to find the secrets of the universe you need to go into space
and grab space time, grab the fabric of space and tear it open and rip the money and hose out. I know how to do that. You know where this podcast studio came from?
a wormhole.
I created that. Exactly. This was a room, and I wrestled through a rupture in space-time and dragged this out of the wormhole. That's how we got this, by the way.
So I guess seeing as you voted,
Andrew can play his video. Yeah, no more video, but the polls, the poll speaks. Okay, so this is actually a very important video, guys. This is not about joking. It's going to seem like I'm not being serious, but I mean everything I say. So please pay attention to this video because it will change your life.
Let me tell you something about the universe. The universe is all around us.
Even this air right here is a universe. And what I do
how I made half a million dollars for
I grab the universe right here.
I grab the universe and I squeeze and force, I force the juice.
from the universe. That's why I'm so fucking juicy.
I can do these things. I grab the universe and I squash and force everything I want from it.
So if I want to be good at fighting, I just go and I grab the universe and I force it to give me the skillet. And I force the pussy and the money, I squeeze the universe.
just like this and it all comes out.
you
you
Thank you.
But what is Newton's third law? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Correct.
third law.
Sol.
If I am a man of action, if I'm a man of force,
and I force myself into
the universe.
The universe must have
and opposite
reaction.
Which means if I force
my power
the universe.
And I focus all my energy
on being with you.
fuck.
The only possible...
reaction.
from the universe is tons of this. How can that not be true? Newton said it.
So it's equal and opposite reaction. The more you put in
more comes out
And it's the same with pussy, money, everything.
Thank you.
So if you want more girls, you need to put more energy into the universe. So my question to you is how are you putting energy into the universe?
universe.
Thank you.
just from typing on the computer or you do
ways, going places, doing things.
force your energy into the universe, the universe will give you back. This is how I know.
I'm one of the greatest men on the earth.
Lord, high jaw, protect you.
universe says,
holding.
amount of sheer energy
I forced
fabric.
of the cosmos
Stop, pause, and rewind.
The amount of sheer energy
I have forced
into the fabric of the cosmos.
and shores.
I'm one of the greatest humans to ever walk the face of this planet.
And that is why girls get naked on the man. You can do the same thing.
Energy in.
Newton's Third Law.
print it out, put it on your little wall. Next time you're about to jack off,
think, am I putting energy into the universe or am I just putting sperm all over my pants?
*Dramatic Music*
so those are the secrets to the universe ladies and gentlemen
The final line is very important. Next time you're about to jack off, think, am I forcing energy into the universe?
forcing it to reply with plentiful
Goodies or am I just putting sperm all over myself like a loser?
Think about that. Think about it carefully. And in fact, I actually want you to do that. Next time you drop your pants and load up your favorite...
Pornhub subscription site.
Think about what you're doing. Think about why you're poor. And imagine if you could see yourself
Through your own window. Exactly. How ashamed would you be? Correct.
So there's no need to do that. So I think we move on to a Q&A. Now, before we do the Q&A, let me just say that every question said up until this point has completely sucked.
So the Q&A, I'm not going to answer your questions unless they're good.
So now is the time.
to come up with good questions that I think are worth answering. I'm only answering one question. One question.
One question.
Okay.
You don't ask the top G more than one question. Okay, well, here's a question. You choose the one. I've got one. I've got one.
I've got a question. Everyone's now asking serious questions, but I've got a question. Is it yes or no?
Can we please get the intro as the outro?
Yes, you can. Okay, boom. No problem. Okay. And that's the end of the Q&A. Thank you. No, wait, no, don't I get to answer questions?
Not really. You know what? I think that's it. I think that's it. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us for the first ever episode of emergency meeting live. There's going to be much more of this smash the like button. Follow us on Instagram. It's at talisman Tate at Cobra Tate. And you know, like this channel, share it with your friends and have any questions.
We are still going to be live the next few hours on Telegram at EM live chat. And to make your wish come true.
Good night.
*Music*